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I wasn't quite ready to go to sleep, especially since one of the spots on my arm was acting up, indicating that that kind of leaf had been poisonous after all. My itching kept Nightmare Moon awake, to the point that she reached over and touched her horn to my head, and...

I was in my sophomore-year college dorm room, reading a textbook about paleontology, and astronomy. It was an odd combination, and I remarked on this fact to...

Cheerilee, who was lying on my bed, flipping between her real form and as a blonde human wearing a pink tee-shirt with her daisy cutie mark on it (though she was lying on her belly, I still knew what the shirt had on it). The subject of the math book she was reading fluctuated, starting with subjects I'd skimmed (number theory) and moving on into subjects I'd only heard of (non-Euclidean geometry, graph theory, and topology), then progressing into things that my dream only asserted were too complicated for me to understand the name of.

She saw I was watching her, and the shorts I hadn't noticed she was wearing were gone. Then she was a pony again, and standing, reading over my shoulder, cheek to cheek. I reached around to give her a hug and a neck rub, and...

We were in bed, and I was naked, and I had my hand across her sex, stroking gently. She was a pony at first, then a human, and I had one hand up under her daisy T-shirt, and she had one hand on my cock. But...

A phantasmal guard interrupted us with an order to get back to work and explain special relativity to Nightmare Moon. Though Cheerilee protested she could do it off the top of her head, she was shut out. I followed the guard...

It was female...

It was a softer, gentler version of Nightmare Moon herself. And as she led me along, I babbled off everything I knew about relativity. It wasn't all that much, but it was some. E = m c squared! Grandfather paradox! Gamma! Gravity is like a rubber sheet, somehow? Umm...

We were in a dark classroom, and an older, severe-looking, dark red unicorn pegasus - reminiscent of the evil robot Maximilian from The Black Hole, of all things - began working through deriving what that gamma factor was. But she made me do all the work. Soon my head hurt, and I quit. She brandished a whip, and pow.

The portion of me which was observing rather than experiencing the dream thought, "Okay, brain? That was uncalled-for. I only go for 'discipline' for the humor value. Take 2, please."

The dream backed up and retried the scene with the Nightmare Moon-guard on spank duty; she toned it down, and with gentle rubbing between. Then... she promised not to spank me again unless I got back to work.

But then pow again. "Work" she demanded.

And I began making progress. Of a sort. I worked out that I'd messed up the swimmer analogy, and tried to figure out what it had to be. When I sorted out the basic properties the solution had to obey, the rubbing was supplemented with licking.

And then pow. "Cease this self-indulgence!" demanded the very pony who'd just been licking me.

And then I had it. It sounded right, it looked right, it acted right. It... wasn't obviously wrong, anyway.

"Now, how am I going to remember this? This is a dream, after all."

Nightmare Moon in all her dread glory was there, snorting. "You're not done yet." A line of empty chalk-boards stretched into the distance.

I was curled up, crying. Couldn't I have the nicer, littler Nightmare Moon back, at least?

She was whipping me, lashes across the back. A part of me wondered how the fuck I knew what it was like to have the skin flayed off my back, because it was exceedingly realistic. I had a feeling I'd just lost my taste for even joking-around-level bondage.

Little Nightmare Moon appeared nose-to-nose with big Nightmare Moon "Get out of here. Can't you see you've done enough?" Big Nightmare Moon glared at me, and...

It was after she had left. The little one was named Luna, and she just wanted to have it all be over, like me.

The dream went blank.

I jolted awake, covered in sweat, as Nightmare Moon slammed the door open. I saw her silhouette passing out the doorway into the afternoon.

I was extremely thirsty, so once she was clear, I got up and headed out too. My fire was still smoldering along. Boiling the water would be best... nothing to hold it in, though. While I was experimenting with various solutions for holding water over the fire - mud-covered leaves, hollowed sticks - Nightmare Moon approached, levitating a ball of clear water.

"Drink." She eyed me impatiently.

I put my lips to it, and as I swallowed, it all practically leapt down my throat. Once I had recovered from the surprise, I said, "Thank you."

"Night is yet far off." Nightmare Moon peremptorily turned back to the house. I went out back to pee, and found a similar spot - she apparently had done the same a few moments previously. The idea that she needed to pee struck me as bizarre.

Nightmare Moon appeared to be asleep, lying on her belly, head on one knee. I had not seen her asleep up to now, and she had softened in sleep, a bit in the direction of what I'd seen in my dream. Just a little. I thought through what it must have been like, being her, rejected, ignored, while so close to one so loved and appreciated.

Against my better judgement, I reached out and petted her on the head.

She relaxed a little further.

The pet extended to her long neck. Her strange mane appeared to be more fog than hair, so I left that alone and moved on to her shoulders. She loosed a sigh of contentment.

I stopped, not wanting to wake her, but - too late. "Continue.", she said, only halfway to an order.

I knew I'd stepped in it again, but I complied, giving her a back-rub. She was large enough I had to be superficial to finish before wearing out my hands, but I did get her whole back. When I was done, she seemed to be asleep. Relieved, I lay down in the corner and soon fell asleep myself.

Before, it took me a while to realize I was dreaming. This time, it was immediate. I was in the tower that Twilight Sparkle had brought Celestia to, but there was no sign of her or the golden sparkles, and I was... Twilight Sparkle. I was looking down at a scroll detailing a magical procedure, and I said, "Omar. Do you hear me?"

This seemed like a very odd thing for me to say - I hesitated, wondering what was going on.

I hesitantly said, "Omar, if you're in this dream, just say so."

This was an even odder thing to say, but there was nothing for it - I said, "Yes. What is this?" It didn't seem odd that I had said that. I remembered forming the intention to do so.

I (still being Twilight Sparkle) reared up a little and said, "It worked! Okay, you're alive. What happened? Where are you? And what happened to the elements of Harmony?"

Again I had no recollection of intending to say this, but was beginning to get the idea - this was some sort of conversation with Twilight Sparkle.

Then I was myself - Omar - pacing around the room (there was no Twilight Sparkle). "Macidexia hit us with some magic she called 'X-zone', that sent us to my world, millions of years ago. I'm surprised we can maintain real-time conversation over a time difference."

I stopped trying to control and let things happen again - I gestured to the pile of books and said, "No wonder I had to use an acausal symmetry spell - I 'just happen' to have a dream that's the same dream as you're having." Partway through that, I turned back into Twilight Sparkle, as she reasserted control over our identity.

I gestured in circles with a front hoof. "Can we... separate? It's confusing."

I stood on my rear hooves and put my two front hooves to each other. "No, we have to experience exactly the same dream. Splitting us would change our viewpoints. So, where are the elements?"

I halted in front of a mirror and looked at myself (Twilight Sparkle) suspiciously. "Just a moment. I want to make sure you're not Discord."

I was taken aback. "Discord? Who's Discord?"

For a moment, I was even more suspicious. Was this actually Nightmare Moon, somehow? Twilight Sparkle would have... umm... not known about Discord. Right. I resumed pacing. "My secret mission was to stop an ancient evil chimera freed by Macidexia, named Discord. He was previously defeated by the princesses, wielding the elements of harmony. He has the ability to warp minds, and teleport, and various other tricks. For ten days after he was freed, he can only affect one pony, in Ponyville, not a unicorn. And Celestia and I couldn't mention this to anyone. I guess, now that I'm not within 10 days, I can mention it. Or maybe because we're not 'really' communicating, just having the same dream. Anyway, he claimed his selection was Cheerilee, but he could have been lying. His objective is to bring about a work stoppage and cause ponies to hurt each other, within those ten days. He claimed his plan was totally unstoppable, and would go off, umm, tomorrow."

I (she) said, "Oh, I think I know what his plan is. Almost everypony in Ponyville is feeling sick, and the worst cases are violent. They just moan and try to bite ponies. But didn't you say he could only affect one?"

I shook my head ruefully. "A zombie plague outbreak? He only needed to work within his selection to make the plague. It would spread under its own power from there. Now, that's thinking outside the box. He wasn't trying to psych me out, just gloating. Crap. Good luck with that... Are you coming down with it?"

"I don't think so. We were out of town so much. But you were right there. Feeling anything?"

I was suddenly myself, in a flimsy hospital gown, hooked up to a bunch of machines. "I think I'm clean. Maybe it's just a pony thing."

I snapped back to being Twilight Sparkle. "Anyway, we need the elements. Now that you know I'm not Discord... where are they?"

I headed slowly back toward the mirror. It had been less confusing to have someone to project the conversation onto. "You didn't prove it yet. Who was the first Ponyville pony you met?"

"Pinkie Pie." As I said it, my reflection changed to Pinkie Pie hiding behind the cart in the dark.

"No."

"What?" I furrowed my brow heavily for several seconds. As I relaxed, the reflection then shimmered and changed to Rarity, and I said, "Oh! Back at Canterlot!"

"Better. What did Macidexia give Celestia, that started the sneezing?"

"Tea."

I was satisfied. "Okay. So. Nightmare Moon took the elements. She tried to attune them to us, but changed her mind, and left me to carry them. When we make it back, I'll see what I can do. I'm not sure that overpowering her is the solution. She was banished to the moon for a thousand years... she really just needs a hug."

I crossed my eyes, hard, chagrinned. "You hug her, then. If we can't get the elements, that might be our best shot."

"I was exaggerating, but I'll see what I can do. How's Celestia?"

I looked out the window, and the sun was suddenly just over the horizon. "She wore herself out trying to restart the day. We're stuck in dawn."

"Oh, fuck. So it's day. That means Discord's probably already won. Tell princess Celestia I'm sorry. Shit, that's a case of my being seriously outclassed. While we're at it, if there's anything she wants to say to her sister, I can try to find a way."

"I'll ask, but I may not be able to contact you again." A pause. "I'm sorry too, Omar. We had her right there, and I couldn't make the spark."

"Don't beat yourself up over it. It's not over yet. And as I said, what good would sending her back to the moon do? It was never the best solution. Whooa."

"What?"

"I'm in the past, I have the elements. Time to use Bill and Ted tactics. Where's a good hiding place you haven't checked yet?"

"What?"

I held back my impulse to quote Pulp Fiction, instead saying, "Where's somewhere the elements could stay hidden for centuries, that you can look for them now, because I will have hidden them there for you to find."

"Umm. Oh-kay... There's... a big rock just south of the abandoned palace the elements were in. We didn't dig just south of it."

I was suddenly in the place she referred to.

I advised her, "Try it when you wake up. Let me confirm - I should bury the elements south of the big rock south of the abandoned palace, if I can."

"Right."

"And... Tell the gang I'm okay, hope the best. And Cheerilee... umm... well, if she's not Discord, tell her I have something to say that I can't say through you. Hopefully by the time I get back, I'll have come up with something not too embarrassing."

I (she) got severely flustered. "Umm. Cheerilee is the worst case of what you call the zombie plague."

"Oh. Oh. Of course."

"Yeah. Well, now we know where it came from. That'll help. One last thing before we go. Pinkie Pie told me to tell you, quote:"

I suddenly turned into Pinkie Pie. "Rainbow Faces. Rainbow Faces! RAAAAINBOW FAAACES!"

I turned back into Twilight Sparkle. "Endquote. That was how she said it. She said it was really important."

"I have no idea what that means."

"I figured. I think that covers it. All set?"

"Yeah. Thanks a lot."

I nodded...

... and I was driving a car down a road away from an asteroid impact, but the roads kept being blocked by traffic as everyone else had the same idea... but they were terrible drivers, so there were accidents all over the place... so I asked Nightmare Moon, in the passenger seat, if she could stop the asteroid... and she was a zombie. And I was already a zombie. I'd infected her.

I sat up, startled awake. Nightmare Moon was solidly asleep.