Log On
#1 of Online, Offtopic
I'm not really sure why I'm here, to be honest. I'm bored, for one. Bored enough to make a new identity to post under. Pseudo-anonymity. Always fun.
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The connection was mediocre; but then again, when was it not? It was terrible last month, last week, last night, and especially in the last minute. Chris hadn't seen this much buffering since he tried to stream an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 on his old 56k.
"--that was--better--two--"
Piece of crap. It was probably the guy across the hall. He's got a thing for downloading British game shows. If it's not Countdown, it's Deal or No Deal; if it's not Big Brother, it's Mastermind.
"--ally better than Revolutions!"
Oh, god, not this again. John and Mark were arguing about the Matrix. You would think this would end when the Wachowski Brothers decided that they would stop gripping Keanu Reeves and Hugo Weaving by their teats and milking as much money as they could, but apparently not.
"Revolutions had its moments! And in the context of the larger series--"
"In the context of the larger series," Chris interrupted, "Revolutions and Reloaded and the original form a rich tapestry of religion and social commentary worthy of a CliffsNotes. But movie by movie the first Matrix was the best, so let's shut up and pick a different topic?"
The two boxes on-screen gave Chris a tired look. Over John's shoulder, an annoyed Alex looked up from reclining on the couch and reading his book to toss in a "you tell 'em, Chris."
Chris sighed. The wolf liked talking to old friends; it was the closest thing to getting the ol' gang together again possible, considering they were located an average of 1,361 miles away from each other. Wonders of the internet.
"Do you know anything other than movies, John?"
"I know plenty about other stuff!" John said, on the defense. "Us huskies have perfect memories."
"That's elephants, hun," said Alex, not missing a page.
"I'm pretty sure you're the forgetful one. It's clearly huskies."
"Nope. Elephants. Dated one in high school."
"Wow," said Mark. "What was that like?"
"I don't remember much," Alex deadpanned, "except that he forgot that it's fairly rude form to grab-ass on the first date."
Chris missed Alex's quips. Sure, they weren't any good, but the fox had some redeeming qualities. Sure, they weren't easily recallable, but they were there. Like...
Well...
"... Chris?"
John's comment snapped Chris out of it.
"Hm?"
"You stroked out on us for a minute, there."
"You lifted that from Futurama."
"I did no such thing!"
"Yes he did, Chris," Alex called out. "He's watching that episode right now."
"John," Chris said flatly, "you know that 10:00 PM is conversation time. Do you want to share with the class?"
"What? So I'm watching Futurama. I can still have conversations!"
"Which one is it?" Mark interjected. The bear was always a bit desperate for attention, and didn't like being on the outs of a conversation for too long.
"The one where time skips around, y'know?" John took his eyes off the screen and fiddled with controls briefly before his picture changed to Fry on a basketball court.
"Oh, yeah. Hey, I forgot you could do that," Mark said. "Lemme try."
Mark fiddled with the controls a bit and switched the input to his media player. His square was replaced by a tiger and a lion becoming rather close to the sounds of jungle music.
Chris smirked. Leave it to Mark, the perpetually aroused, to be watching cheap b-rate porn.
John clicked back to his webcam and smiled. "I think I've seen this one before. The lion climbs up onto the tree trunk, and then the tiger gets on top of them, and there's this fantastic shot of their balls--"
"Don't ruin it with your commentary, John. Let us all," Mark said with false pomp, "enjoy Jungle Beats 14."
True to John's recollection, the lion removed his head from the tiger's crotch and beckoned the striped feline towards a conveniently placed tree trunk. As the background tribal drums intensified, the lion lifted his tail and waggled ever-so-slightly in the direction of the tiger. "Oh, Tigrar," the lion said, "stuff my manhole with your delicious kitty..." The lion fumbled for a second. An off-screen voice whispered, "shaft! shaft!"
"...shaft!" the lion finished. "Ooh, baby, yes. Like that."
"Wait for him to start!"
"Oh, um, yeah." The lion looked over his shoulder at the tiger, standing erect in both senses. 'Tigrar' pounced upon his fellow actor and quickly found his mark, after a rather unsubtle cut during which a lucky production assistant slathered cheap lubricant onto the 'kitty shaft.'
"Alex, you gotta see this," John said, calling over his boyfriend. Alex sighed and marked his page before walking over to John and the camera. They focused intently upon Mark's square, now filled with a shot of 'Tigrar' entering his partner, who apparently was creatively named 'Lionar.'
Writers were apparently never consulted on the script since all the money was spent on the camera staff, who were fearless in their coverage of this earth-shattering event. Ducking in close to view the tiger rubbing in and out of the hole, getting shots of the pair's somewhat unconvincing faces of alleged ecstasy, sliding underneath the pair to get a shot of both the tiger's and the lion's rods, one thrusting with great intention, one waving, ready to blow. The camera even got a closeup shot of the tiger's sac bouncing against the lion's on each thrust. ("I told you that was in there!" "Shh, John.")
"Oh, yeah, Craig--" "Lionar!" "Uh, Lionar, you're so tight, I'm going to explode within you in seconds oh yes Tigrar please-- oh, blue's your lines." "Oh, yes, Tigrar, please blast your--"
The image paused on the lion, mid-sentence. Lionar's face was contorted into an amusing expression, trying to put out a "see" sound.
John groaned. "Mark, what happened?"
Mark panicked slightly. "Hang on, hang on!"
A frantic clicking filled the air, and the feline pair was replaced with Mark, pants down, operating the mouse with one paw and operating his own peripheral with the other.
For a second, nobody reacted.
"Hah," Alex let out with a smile.
Mark panicked and clicked faster, trying to allow the lion to finish his sentence and receive his present in peace. Simultaneously, his other paw tried to stuff his bearhood back into its hibernating den to little success. Inexplicably through layers of soft, brown fur, Mark blushed.
"Hang on, Mark," Chris said, with a soft growl. "Methinks this is more interesting than the adventures of our jungle kitties." His pants, already constraining from the events thus far, shrank another relative waist size at the sight of the bear's vulnerability.
"Come on, Marky, I don't think I've ever seen you naked before." Alex drank in the picture with a light sigh. "It's somewhat refreshing."
Chris glanced at the couple's window and noticed a familiar point around their inseam as well. He took particular notice of Alex's distinct and distinguished outline, larger than any of the quartet's.
Ah, so that's what the redeeming quality was. Memory's a fickle thing.
Mark seemed to pick up on all three's interest, and saw an opportunity to flaunt his exhibitionist side.
"Well..."
Mark leaned back slightly to afford the camera a better view before continuing to rub himself. His furry paw ran up and down the pink island in a sea of brown. His moans were certainly authentic; if they weren't, he should certainly contact whoever was in charge of casting on the set of Jungle Beats 14.
Chris glanced up at Alex and John, noticing that both men's paws were stimulating a specific region on their partner. For all their back-and-forth, their common ground was below the belt.
Chris looked back at Mark, who was stroking faster and groaning louder. He scooted down in his seat a bit, almost lying on his back, to give the best view of his shaft that he could. Watching the others rub themselves put Mark over the edge as he fired shot after shot of bear batter onto his chestfur.
As Mark slowed his movements with a lust-filled sigh, Alex, John, and Chris were practically breaking out of their pants.
For the second time in the conversation, nobody spoke for a second. Chris was the one to break the silence.
"Well... what shall we do next, gentlemen?"
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Written over the course of one hour out of boredom. I have an intention to make it a series of gradually escalating dares, and I have a rough sketch of where it'll go, but feel free to respond with any suggestions you'd like to see. Anything involving the four boys is game.
Also, expect more character development if I continue this. An hour from idea to product doesn't leave much room for exposition.