Just Do It
#8 of Free Association
Brad loves pie. And kissing. And knowing where he stands. 3728 words.
'Ello, all! Free Association, Episode 8, for your reading pleasure.
_ Wednesday. _
"And so that's why I don't have a car," Jonathon said, grinning, taking a big bite. His choice had been strawberry rhubarb.
Brad chuckled over his lemon meringue. "Well, then, pardon me if I don't let you drive mine!"
"Heheh, that's all right, I didn't like driving much anyway," the raccoon replied. "I'd rather take the bus, if someone's not around to drive me."
"Right." Brad nodded and slurped his coffee. He was feeling much better, now; the surprise run-in with Wallace still had him a bit unsettled, but his moment alone in the park with this cute raccoon had done a lot to fortify and restore his mood. Not to mention it had shown him he was taking this whole date way too seriously. Good thing Jonathon had managed to snap him out of it before he screwed up the whole experience.
And now they were munching pie and drinking coffee, and talking about all kinds of stuff. Just like new friends ought to. Just like a date ought to be.
"So, uh, if you don't mind my asking... What's your family like?" the raccoon inquired. "I mean, my parents are all generic and nuclear, I don't know anything about..."
"Watching your parents stop loving each other?" Brad said darkly.
Jonathon grimaced. "Sorry, that's probably not a good topic, is it? I was just curious, forget it..."
"Nah, it's okay," the wolf said. "I don't mind talking about it. Just being gruff, I guess." He took a bite. "My mom lives in South Carolina now, with her new husband; they've been married about six years now. My dad's still in Queens, hasn't remarried. They separated when I was about eight; mom went to Newark, dad kept the house. Then they finalized the divorce when I was ten; my mom got promoted to a regional manager a few years after and moved down south. I kind of bounced between them for a while, but after mom moved I spent most of my time in New York." He shrugged. "Then left for college, got away from all that."
"Just you?"
"Yeah. Dad's got some other kids, one from his first marriage, two more with various, uh, acquaintances, and one about two years younger than me that mom found out about a year or so before they separated." He grimaced. "Read into that what you will. I'm their only kid, though. Then Stan - mom's new guy - has two kids, his first wife died. I know them a bit better than the ones on dad's side; they're all right, I guess."
Jonathon nodded. "Must have been tough."
"It was okay. I don't really know anything else, after all." Brad shrugged. "Mom paid for me to go to a decent school, dad was happy as long as I kept playing football, it wasn't so bad."
Jonathon chuckled. "You played football in high school? You don't really look the type."
"Heh, yeah. B-team. I wasn't that good. Mostly I was just big." The wolf's ears flicked back a bit. "I was a bit heavier back then. I lost a lot of weight when I came to college, stopped eating so much because it wasn't in front of my face all the time. And stopped exercising, too, so some of that weight was probably muscle." He chuckled in embarrassment. "I've been meaning to get back on that for a while now."
"Yeah, me too," Jonathon said emphatically, and then blushed a little when the wolf perked his ears at the intensity of the statement. "I'm, uh... well, I kinda did the opposite. Put on a bit more than I'd like, since college, freshman 15 or something. I used to be skinny, now I'm..." He grimaced and poked his protruding stomach.
"Ah, that's nothin'," Brad said amenably, looking over the guy across the table from him; Jonathon was of fairly average weight, as far as he could judge. "I probably weighed almost twice what you do. Given I'm taller and some of it was muscle, but I was not in the best of shape, for sure." He chuckled. "And I'm still not. Just skinny and out of shape, now."
"Still..." Jonathon chomped on his pie crust, and then drew back and looked at it a little guiltily.
"I like the way you look," Brad said quietly.
The raccoon looked at him, then, and smiled. Their eyes met, and Brad was all caught up and tangled again. His breath echoed turbulently in his chest. He could still feel the sensation of Jonathon's lips against his own; the caress of his tongue as they shared that kiss in the park.
He reminded himself: Jonathon liked him. Jonathon wanted to be with him, too.
It was such a sweet sort of sting, because along with that warm feeling came the tang of nervousness and embarrassment. Brad dropped his gaze, munched his pie, looked up. Jonathon smiled at him again; he looked down. Drank some coffee. Finished off that pie. Another look. The raccoon smiled again.
Jonathon, for his part, found it incredibly cute, the way the wolf dodged his gaze and dropped his ears back like that. Brad might have been a tall, rough-mannered guy on the outside, but inside he was a big ole softie. What else could have made him panic like he did earlier, begging the raccoon to give him a chance?
But then... there had been that run-in with that guy, hadn't there? William, or whatever his name was?
It had sure seemed to put Brad off, now that he thought about it. Maybe that was why he'd gotten so upset. He wondered what had happened between them.
Not something to ask about now, though, when Brad had clearly been cheered up. And besides, the wolf was talking again:
"You wanna maybe hit the gym sometime? Like, together? Might as well, since we both have been meaning to, right?"
"Heheh. Okay, that sounds like fun," the raccoon replied. "You can be my personal trainer."
"Alright." Brad grinned slowly. "You won't balk when I tell you to grab my barbell, will you?"
The raccoon's eyes widened a bit, and belatedly Brad worried that was a bit much for a first date. He hadn't gone into that sort of territory before; how was Jonathon going to take it?
After a moment, though, the raccoon smirked a little. "Well, when you put it that way, maybe I should be the one lying on my back."
"Oh, is that so?" The wolf almost giggled, lowering his voice a bit. "What kind of 'training' are we talking about, here?"
"I just want a good workout," Jonathon said innocently, a faint smile playing around his muzzle. "It's your job to give me that, right? Mister 'trainer'?"
The wolf snickered into his coffee. Excellent. His new boyfriend was well-versed in the art of the double entendre.
Wow, that was still such a weird thought. I have a boyfriend again.
Had Jonathon really meant that, when he'd said it, in the park? Did he really mean they could...
It had sure seemed like it. He'd said it. He didn't seem the type to say things he didn't mean.
It was exhilarating. Here was this cute, funny, playful procyonid, that he had only just met, and had fallen for as completely as it is possible to fall for someone. Hook, line, and sinker. Down for the count. His heart hadn't stood a chance. He would have followed Jonathon to the ends of the earth, or at least to the ends of the restraining order, if things hadn't worked out quite so well. Wait, that came out creepy, dammit. Gotta stop doing that.
But nevermind that, things had worked out. He told Jonathon 'I want to be with you,' and instead of saying 'I'll think about it,' or 'Let's go on a few more dates,' which would have been perfectly understandable...
Jonathon said, 'I want to, too. Let's do it.'
Did wonders for his self esteem. He might not be the brightest... but Jonathon liked him enough to think he was worth the effort of trying something... serious.
Shivershiver. Brad finished his coffee.
As Jonathon had said... they would see where it went. Relationships were complicated (and didn't Brad know it). But when something this good hits you out of nowhere, it's idiotic not to let it flourish, right?
Jonathon seemed to think so.
Thud-thud, went his heart.
"Let's get out of here," he murmured. Jonathon nodded.
The raccoon offered to pay for desert. Brad let him, smiling a bit. They walked back to the car. It was about half past nine. Brad grimaced, pausing in starting the vehicle.
"Well... I wish I could spend all night with you..." he rumbled. "But I have to be up for work tomorrow, so I'm gonna have to hit the sack soon."
Jonathon nodded.
"I probably seem like an old geezer, thinking about going to bed this early," the wolf chuckled.
The raccoon cracked a little grin. "Oh, not so much. I mean, it's only a little earlier than my parents go to bed, right?"
"You little..." Brad gave an affronted huff and made to grab the other male's arm; Jonathon dodged, snickering. "Fine, gimmie your paw again, you rascal."
Jonathon complied, and a moment later Brad sat back, holding Jonathon's left paw with both of his own. The two let out audible sighs of contentment, almost in unison, and looked to each other a moment later with sheepish chuckles.
It was hard to stay amused, though. A moment later Brad's smile was trending toward that softer, more affectionate one he'd used on Monday, and Jonathon followed suit.
"So, uh..." the wolf murmured. His ears were dipping back in shyness again. "So I'd like to see you again soon..."
"You said you have a late class tomorrow?" Jonathon rumbled.
"Yeah... Gets out at 8:30..."
"That's not that late..." the raccoon responded.
"I guess not... Do you wanna..."
"Yeah." The raccoon's voice was soft. "Let's meet up on campus or something. Doesn't have to be all formal. We can just hang out."
"Okay." Brad smiled hesitantly. "I'll... I'll text you when I'm done with class, then."
"You're so cute," the raccoon interjected.
Brad opened his mouth, and then blushed a little bit, smiling wider now. "Oh?"
"First thing I thought when I saw you in the café. Dang, that's a hot wolf guy in front of me." Jonathon chuckled. "And then you yelled at me."
"Heheh, yeah, I get annoyed by people texting in public and ignoring everything around them like that..." Brad rubbed the back of his neck.
"Well, I'm not sure if we justified that or not," the raccoon murmured. "What with the accident and all... But I'm glad I ignored you and started texting again."
Brad laughed a bit at that. "Me too. All kinda worked out for the best, didn't it?"
"Yeah."
They sat there looking at each other for a moment.
"I'd kiss you if the console wasn't in the way," Brad rumbled, giving it a whack with his elbow.
"I was just thinking I could go for another about now."
"Heh. I'll have to remember to get a car with a bench seat next time. Better for makeouts." Brad's expression slowly turned earnest. "Listen... Jonathon..."
"Yeah?"
"Did you... really mean, what you said earlier?" Those floppy ears again. Jonathon wanted to curl his paws around them, bury his digits in the wolf's short, rumpled headfur.
"I did, but which part?"
Brad studied the cupholder, voicing the doubts he'd tried to suppress. "Can I really... can we really be together? For... for serious?"
"If that's what you want, yeah," the raccoon said. "That is what you want, right?"
"I, yes!" the wolf yelped. "Gosh yes... Just, I mean, this is only our first date and all... So I would understand if you maybe wanted to wait, and..." He fell silent.
"And what? Consider my options?" Jonathon shrugged. "This is the first date I've been on in months, not like there's anyone else I want to be with."
"So you're just taking what you can get, then..."
Oh wow those ears were a lot lower than they were before.
Jonathon squeezed his eyes shut for a second. "That's not what I meant."
"Then..."
"Look, Brad." Jonathon sighed. "You're right. Maybe we should wait a bit longer. Be sure we really click before we get all serious. There, does that make you happier?"
The wolf regarded him with a lost, semi-hurt expression. "Not... not really..."
"Didn't think so. Let me explain myself, then."
"O... okay..."
The raccoon switched paw positions on him, turning to face him across the center console and holding each of his paws with his own. "Here's what I know. Monday was a... an unusual day for me. I met this guy. I was interested in him as soon as I met him. I wanted to get to know him better. And before I really knew what was happening, he was asking me on a date." Jonathon shook his head. "It was... so unexpected. It's been a really long time since... since something like this has happened to me. And then bam, you burst into my life like some sort of firework. I'm no stranger to meeting a guy I like, but I'm much more familiar with liking a guy I can't have. With trying to ignore it for weeks, months, years, even. With just plain being alone."
Brad was looking at him earnestly, hanging on his every word. The raccoon took a deep breath.
"So, we had a date, and I wasn't sure what exactly to think... but I knew one thing. I really like you, Brad. It would... hurt a lot, if you were another of the ones I just couldn't have." Jonathon swallowed. "And the more I get to know you, the more I feel that way. The more I like you. The more I think being boyfriends will make me happy." Another deep breath. "And damn, we could wait as long as we wanted to before making it official. But what's the point, if we both already know we want to be together?" The raccoon hesitated. "Let's just do it."
Brad sat still, trembling, for a moment, and then leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the raccoon. The center console jabbed into his ribs, but he didn't care in the slightest. Their muzzles met softly; the kiss might have been rough and passionate, but Brad didn't make it so. The wolf was... in awe.
I got him... I really got him!
It registered as a fact. He believed it. Jonathon really did want to be with him. It was... tangible, not a maybe, not a possibility, not a chance. Jonathon was his. His boyfriend.
He held the raccoon awkwardly and kissed him tenderly, and Jonathon held back, kissed back. A series of soft mandibular embraces; the vaguely coital interplay of tongues and lips. That narrow raccoon muzzle was growing a little more familiar, now, as was that little, squareish black nose. He loved that nose.
And to think he'd been convinced that this date had turned out such a disaster. Remembering Wallace didn't even bother him, when he could hold this guy close, catch the raccoon's lower lip in his teeth and tug playfully.
Be careful not to hurt him...
The raccoon's long whiskers brushed against his own shorter ones as they came together again. The texture of Jonathon's soft shirt left an impression on his paws; he could feel the fur beneath it, the flesh. The little bumps of the raccoon's vertebrae, running down his back to that incomparably fine posterior.
He wanted to feel that fur under his paws. And that ass, while he was at it.
...But this wasn't the night. Brad almost sighed. He could hardly object to getting the guy he'd been longing for for the past... well, only forty-eight hours, come to think of it, but it had been a damn intense forty-eight hours... But the wolf had his limits. He wanted to fool around with this raccoon... but he didn't want to do it yet, regardless of whether he might have been able to get away with it. There was work tomorrow, but in addition...
You had to save something for the second date, right? That's what makes it more than just a one-night-stand. That's what makes it special. That and... promises.
Frighteningly little, really.
The wolf dismissed that thought before it took him places he didn't like, and gently broke the kiss, giving Jonathon's nose a quick lap. He loved that nose.
The raccoon giggled and rubbed it with the back of his paw.
"Better start driving before we get too excited," the wolf rumbled, starting the car. Not that he wasn't pretty darn excited already, according to some mild discomfort just below belt-height.
Jonathon sighed, but nodded. "Don't want to end up all bothered."
"Right." Brad craned around, backing out of the parking space, and smiled at Jonathon as his gaze flitted past his boyfriend. He had to practice using that word again, he thought with a smile.
The Plymouth Sundance rumbled down roads and hummed along highways, retracing the path back toward campus. All too soon, Brad was pulling into the parking lot behind Grenville Hall. He threw it into park and turned to look at the raccoon, paws going to his knees.
"Want me to walk you in?"
Jonathon looked at him uncertainly, and grimaced. "Well... uh..."
The wolf blinked at his discomfort.
"I'd kinda... actually... rather you didn't."
It stung a bit more than Brad was expecting. "Okay. That's all right."
"I just... don't want people to..."
"...see you with a guy, and assume things." Brad nodded. "I understand." He thought the raccoon had been acting a bit dodgy earlier. Nervous, being in public with him.
Still. Owch.
"I'll just kiss you goodbye here, then, if that's all right."
Jonathon nodded, with a small smile.
The wolf gave him a soft kiss of the non-theatrical variety. Jonathon returned it, paws against his chest. It was over too soon for the liking of either.
Brad smiled at him.
"I had a really nice time tonight," Jonathon said quietly.
"Me too," the wolf replied. It was truthful... if he didn't think too hard about Wallace.
No, dammit, he wasn't going to let Wallace ruin this for him. He'd had a good time. Wallace could go fuck himself if he didn't like it. Brad didn't know why he was blaming the dog, but he was. He'd just gotten the guy he'd gone crazy for; he deserved to feel good about it.
Jonathon must've seen a flicker of frustration cross his face, because his next line was subdued. "I'll... see you tomorrow, then."
Or maybe he was just tired. It had been quite a day, in Brad's opinion. "Okay. G'night, Jonathon." Littlesmile.
The raccoon undid his seatbelt and opened the door, stepping out. He stood there for a moment, looking at the wolf. "Night."
Then the door was closed and he was walking inside. Brad waved. He waved back.
And then, Brad's pocket vibrated. His phone had the extreme misfortune to be positioned right along his still-half-erect cock, sending a surprise wave of stimulation right down its underside. The wolf shivered. That was one way to be alerted to a new text message, all right.
He pulled his phone out.
I've received a new message! Yippee. He thumbed through an excessive amount of UI gunge cluttering up the screen.
It was Marty. 'how'd it go,' no question mark.
The wolf smiled a bit. He'd told his roommate where he was going only moments before leaving, not wanting to go through the whole story just yet. Marty had understood, just smiled and wished him luck. Old friends are great about that kind of thing, about understanding why you do things, what you don't want to say or think about.
'good,' he repiled. 'dinner park make out. said some dumb stuff and then we thought might as well try bfship.'
There, that was a good enough summary. Glossed over all the awkward parts. Brad clicked send. He almost shut his phone... but then he noticed the new message indicator was still up.
"Hm," the wolf rumbled aloud, backing out to the list of messages and scrolling down.
A number. Somebody not in his contacts. He didn't recognize it. It had been sent more than an hour ago.
Click.
'ya I still have ur number never wanted 2 use it bc things wer weird but look can u come by resturant again sometime? gotta tell u somethin.'
Oh, fuck.
The wolf swallowed.
Deleting it won't make it go away, he thought to himself. His digit withdrew from the button it had automatically lunged for.
Fucking fuck.
Well, this would be great. What the hell did Wallace have to talk to him so bad about, anyway?
Wincing a bit in defeat, the wolf hit reply. 'fine.' No promise of when. When he felt like it.
I'm never gonna feel like it, the wolf whined internally. He thumbed send. And to think he'd been in such a good mood, after the date...
Dammit dammit dammit. He was not gonna let Wallace ruin this simply by existing. With effort, Brad focused his thoughts back on that kiss in the park. That had been good.
Yeah.
The phone was still sitting in his paws, a number glaring at him like an accusation. He hadn't even had this phone when he was dating Wallace; there was no reason he should still have his ex as a contact.
Never mind that he could distinctly recall deleting the dog.
And then re-adding him, and deleting him again. Just for good measure.
And then wiping the wet spots off the keypad of his old flip phone. Lying on his side. Curled up in his bed. Fully dressed. Roommate had been at class, fortunately. Unfortunately.
Bad memories. With a sigh, Brad clicked that damn number. Might as well.
"Wallace... Marshall..." he murmured, as he typed.
One click of 'save', and the name was as real to him as 'Jonathon Howard.' Again. Brad stared at it.
Wallace. Marshall.
All things considered, they'd broken up on the best of terms.
The car started, backed out, and roared off into the night.
I'm still not as pleased with this one as the last one; I revised this a lot, but it just didn't come out quite the way I wanted. But, there were moments I liked, and plenty of plot development. This pretty clearly wraps up the date arc that began back in Episode 2. It seems that there will be plenty more to occupy Brad and Jonathon, though... not all of it as obvious as you'd think.
That's all I got. See you guys next Friday! :3