FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 4

Chasing cars.

"I fucked up..."

"(Please Tane - what happened?)" Rissa begs yet again. I hear a touch of a whine enter her voice. She's never seen me like this.

"She was just like me..." My voice comes muffled through the pillow I've buried my head in. I just... don't want to be seen, and so I hide myself under my covers and hide my face in my pillow. I feel moisture creeping down my face as it soaks through my pillow. "She was beautiful, and she was funny and nice and... I fucked it up. She saw my tally. She thinks I'm a psycho killer..."

And I still don't understand why I did it. It's so unlike me to accept a challenge. I should have just apologised and let it slide - but I couldn't. I couldn't. Something compelled me to step up to the opponent and beat him. No - not just beat him. Everyone had to see it. Everyone had to see I was stronger... that was what I felt. I felt I had to show my pow-

"Oh, shit..." I realise, ending in a long groan.

"(What is it?)"

"I get it..." I sob into my pillow. I snivel a little as I feel tears still dripping down my face. "It's... I've got an alpha complex..."

No reply comes from anyone behind me. They have no idea.

"Alpha complex..." I sniff again. "That girl... Shawna... she was so great - but this dickhead comes along and gives me crap. I was showing off in front of her. I wanted her to see I was stronger than him..."

I wince and stifle an outburst as something strikes me across the head. "(You're such an idiot, Tane...)" Comes a soothing, empathetic sigh. I feel a shape rustle across the covers and crawl up beside me. in a moment - more scramble all over my bed. A larger figure on either side, and smaller ones lying all over me. My pillow shuffles a bit as one lies across the head of my bed.

Their arms are on me. Every one of them wraps their arms around me as much as they can, and cuddles in as close as they can. They cling tight and wrap me up in their bodies -every one of them sharing their auras with me to settle me.

But how can I be settled? "I've just fucked up my one shot at finding a friend like me. I was overcome by my stupid fucking urges!"

I feel the bodies recoils quickly. It takes a few seconds of awkward silence and my words ringing fresh in my memory for me to realise I was speaking out loud.

"Sorry, guys." I sigh as I roll onto my back. "And sorry Rissa - since you're not a guy... 'cause you got tits."

She sits upright with a grin. I feel her wagging tail bump against my leg under my blanket as it swishes across them. "He's recovering." She decides - but switches to private telepathy to comment: "And don't look at my tits, you paedophile. You're like - fifty-four times my age."

"I can if I want to." I smile faintly and shuffle to sit upright. "Until you get a sentiency test - I totally own you."

"Pervert." She pokes her tongue out and slaps my knee playfully.

"You guys - leave me be with Rissa, can you?" I look between them - prepared for their various disappointments. "She's known me for the longest. I need some time alone with her."

"(Don't we all.)" One Lucario mentions - not quite under his breath. Rissa's ear twitches and she throws him a vile look over her shoulder as he and the other 'rios leave. 'Rios being Lucarios and Riolu.

"Males. You're all so single-minded."

"Duh."

She turns back to me as her smile returns, and she throws a leg over my body. She shuffles up me a little, and then falls forwards to lie on my stomach. She presses her muzzle into my neck and nuzzles into it with a purr - holding my shoulders down with her paws.

"There'll be more opportunities." She reassures me. "It's only been a few months since your evolution. You'll meet more of you some time. Maybe her again - but she's not the only one out there."

"(I guess.)" I sigh. I drop my head back into my pillow and stare at the roof. "(Still... ... ... aw, Idunno. I'm confusing myself.)"

"(It's fun, isn't it?)" Rissa suddenly pulls back. "(Our speech. Saying the same word over and over again, yet saying so many other things at the same time... Lucario, Lucario, Lucario...)"

"(Yeah...)" I nod, riding a small wave of warmth at simply saying "Volraith". "(Feels good...)"

"(You know what else feels good?)" She shuffles up my body a little further, moving her paws further over my shoulders. "(This...)"

Another grin rises to my lips as I feel her claws slide free and onto my skin. She pricks me lightly on the shoulders, and she begins rubbing. "(Yeah... that does feel good...)"

"(It's probably just what you need right about now.)" She continues as she massages just at the top of my back and down my collar. "(Stress relief. Loosen up and release your tension and all that physiotherapy stuff.)"

"(Yeah...)" I agree with a dumb nod - but I don't move too much. There's no reason to do anything other than just lie here and enjoy myself right now...

"Hey, Tane?"

"Crap..." I reluctantly pry an eye open and direct my most hateful "you're interrupting me" glare at my younger brother.

He takes it as cause for entry, and slips through my doorway. "Annabel's served dinner. Yours is on the counter for when you need it."

"Kay." I nod faintly, and drop my head back on my pillow.

I hear a quiet creaking after I close my eyes. "Hey - are you alright?" I feel a weight land on my bed beside me.

"Idunno, Ryan. Idunno." I shrug hopelessly. "I'm just... I've got a lot on my mind right now. That's all."

"All right." He sighs. I feel his body lift off my mattress as he stands again. "If you need to just talk or something - I'm here. Okay?"

"Okay, bro." I nod a little. "Thanks."

"No problem." His quiet footsteps retreat now. Then there's the quiet, subtle squeal of my door easing closed. But it doesn't click. It stops for a moment, then screeches in a different tone. The "door opening" squeal. "Hey - just a question..."

"Shoot."

"Who's that gardener we have? The Unovan one? Long hair."

I open one eye. "You mean Ron?"

"Ron..." He nods slowly - paused at the doorway. "Yeah - I thought it was Ron."

"Why do you ask?"

"Just this girl." He shrugs. "Asking for "Rob". I told her there was no Rob here - but I thought I might-"

I launch halfway out of bed as it clicks. Rissa squeals as she flies through the air and over the foot of my bed - landing with a thud on the floor.

"How long ago?" I dash towards him. "The girl? How long ago was she here?"

"Whoa! Tane! Settle!" He backs away suddenly - surprised by my sudden move. "Idunno... a few minutes ago when I was walking through the gate. She was waiting across the street and called me o-"

"Where'd she go? Which direction?"

He backs into the wall opposite my door - a little red. "I don't know - um... east!"

"I'll be back later!" I spin on m heel and charge.

"Tane! Where are-"

I dive straight through the wall. I phasejump straight through the foot-thick outer wall of a second story bedroom, and fall to the ground below.

A few of the ground staff still hanging around call in surprise as I crash down onto the pavement- but I ignore them and start running. I don't run for the gate - I run straight for the corner of the property to the south-east.

Shawna! You came back! a huge grin passes my face as I leap through our boundary fence and onto the pavement outside. A car's horn blares in surprise as I shoot out in front of it, but I phaserun straight through the middle of it as it slams on the brakes.

"Hey!" The driver yells to me.

I ignore them, and keep running.

Shawna! I can explain it! My head spins and whirrs as I rush along the sidewalk, shooting past the estates and mansions lining my street. She came back! She's giving me a chance!

But I have to catch her!

I pick up my pace with a growl. I'm fast, but I'm no match for a car. If she's got a vehicle I have to reach her first! She can't have gone too far. Shit! Just if my bike wasn't in the shop!

The street ahead of me glows suddenly. My shadow appears at my feet as a pair of headlights cut through the darkness, and it stretches out ahead of me.

"Hey!"

Crap! I glance over my shoulder - but the headlights blind me. The car driver I jumped out in front of isn't happy. Great. Now he's going to give me hell.

I turn ahead again, and I shut my eyes for a moment. Think air - think of weightlessness. Think of being surrounded by nothing - no obstacles to stop me. Pull my body from the physical world and into spirit - a world where nothing will hinder me other than my own willpower.

I surge forwards as my body phases again - eliminating any wind resistance. Using my own energy, I push myself forwards as I run - gliding across the ground like a ghost. The bushes and gates shoot and whizz past me on either side of the road, and my shadow stretches back to my feet as I escape the car pursuing me.

Where is she? This is east - right?

I continue running at full-tilt for about a minute. In that minute, the idea that I can still catch up is still burned into the front of my brain - however unlikely it is that she could get so far in such a short timeframe.

It takes a wall of traffic to derail my train of thought and stop my hopes in their tracks. I skid to a stop as my breath dries up, and every puff for oxygen scalds the back of my throat. My energy decides to fail me at that very moment - and I collapse forwards onto my knees.

Cars. Cars, trucks, buses - they shoot past in front of me like a great, moving wall of hopelessness. She's gone. She's disappeared into commerce and gridlock - and she's gone.

Hopes dashed yet again - I collapse on the curb. It finally hits me - she can't have possibly run this far. I'm so fast - she couldn't have possibly run this far. She's taken a car somewhere along the way - and she's left.

I've wasted my one shot at finding her and explaining...

Let's waste time - chasing cars... around our heads.

If only.

If only I hadn't used that stupid fake name! I growl and smash a fist into the concrete beside me. the pain splits my entire arm - but nothing's damaged. If only I hadn't pulled off my fucking beanie and shown her my tally and scared her! My fist rises again, and smashes back into the concrete. The sidewalk paving shatters under my fist - exploding into a tiny rain of sharp, pointy fragments that slit my knuckles as they pound them. If only I had spent my time walking around outside instead of fucking crying my room! I could have seen her! For the third time, my fist smashes the pavement. The rest of the cracked footpath breaks apart on impact, and detaches itself from the surrounding area.

And to make matters worse - a light sweeps across me from behind. I glance up at my shadow as it swings up and out as the vehicle pulls up behind me - illuminating my blood-stained knuckles and my feral snarl.

It's the same car I jumped out in front of. The pissed-off driver's come back for a piece of me.

Oh, man. This guy picked the wrong moment to fuck with me. I growl as I stagger to my feet. I can't see the driver since the headlights blind me, but I see their door swing open and I see them climb out.

"What?" I demand as I uneasily stagger towards the person. I can barely walk - let alone fight like this, but I'm forced on by sheer rage at myself.

The door closes with a soft thud, and the silhouette stalks towards me from the shadows. "Rob?"

"Shawna?" My legs buckle - and I collapse forwards. The shadow bursts forwards to catch me. Like an angel breaking free of hell, her golden hair bursts from the darkness and into the light. Her arms swing under me as I fall - catching me around the waist. "You came back..."

She eases me down to the pavement, and she lies me on my back. "(I did.)" She nods a little, kneeling at my side. I can see her face from here. Lifeless and pale. Afraid and confused - but her eyes twinkle with a glimmer of hope. "(You said - as you chased me - you could explain. So explain. Why do you have so many tallies?)"

"(I...)" I stammer painfully. My chest constricts from fatigue, and my heart lurches at the crippling lack of energy. Phaserunning alone takes a lot of energy - but boosting myself to speeds like that really drains me. "(I... can you take me home... so I can... explain?)"

"(No Rob, tell me now.)" She demands - surprisingly sternly.

"(I... can't...)" I manage after a few deep breaths.

"(Why not?)"

"(B-because... I think I'm aboooooo-)"

Black.

Something... something heavy on the side of my bed. Something weighing it down a little... What time is it? Morning?

"Morning Rissa..." I yawn, and stretch my arm wide.

"(Evening, Rob.)" The voice is as cold as ice. I leap upright in a second as my heart nearly leaps out of my chest. "(Or should I say - Tane?)"

Shawna sits on the edge of my bed with her legs crossed. Same clothing as she wore earlier. Same cap pulled over my head. A very different, angry scowl spread across her face. No - not angry. Disappointed.

"(Your family let me in after I turned up at your gate.)"

"(That was you in that car...)" I realise. "(Oh, Arceus - I didn't-)"

"(Explain.)" She growls - taking me off guard. "(I want you to explain.)"

"(Ah - the tallies.)"

"(Yes the tallies.)" She nods sternly. "(Twenty-one. That's a huge tally.)"

"(I get it...)" I sigh. It's difficult to be so calm and act so grim when I'm bursting with joy on the inside. "(You think I'm a criminal Pokémon-killer.)"

"(That's the most obvious explanation.)" She agrees. "(And don't try anything - you may be powerful, but you're still weak from using all your energy. Try it and I'll kill you where you sit.)"

I think better than to argue with that. Last time I accepted a challenge... well, this happened.

"(I'm Tane Chase.)" I begin - sighing deeply as I sift through my memories. I've only told this story a couple of times, but I remember the whole thing word-for-word nearly. "(I was the very first Volraith.)"

"(The first?)" Shawna's brow rises. "(The one who first killed that Lucario and drank its blood?)"

"(It wasn't quite like that...)" I shake my head briskly. "(We got into an argument. It turned really nasty, and ended up as a fight. He nearly killed me - but I got him at the last second. I killed him - but his body fell on top of me. I was weak from his beating so I couldn't even push his body off me - hell I could barely even move. Then blood started seeping from his mouth - and dripping into mine. I tried to keep my mouth closed - but I passed out. My mouth fell open as I was unconscious, so I ingested the blood. I was acquitted since it was obvious I killed him in self-defence. Shortly after that - I discovered my powers. Just in time too - I was attacked by a couple of hard-core pro-Pokémon psychos who figured my killing the Lucario was unjustified, and they sicked their Pokémon on me. Lucky for me - their Pokémon weren't exceptionally strong, and it turned out that I - being ghost-fire type - had a type advantage. I killed their Pokémon and scared them off - but I had another idea. I drank thosePokémons' blood.)"

Shawna's eyes remain on me the whole time. They don't even move - save to occasionally blink. Totally blank and expressionless.

"(Then I discovered the three tally marks on my head. I put two and two together soon after I discovered that my powers were much stronger after killing the two. It wasn't long before I lost control of my powers in public. My hand randomly burst into flames one day - but I survived without a scratch. People called the police and everything - and in hours I had the feds after me. Luckily my brother, Lance, stopped them and rescued me.)"

"(You're brother's Lance?)" Shawna's brow raises again. I nod.

"(He cleared things up with the feds and ordered them to keep them off me - but word still got out. Soon enough the media were all over me. I managed to fend them off eventually - but the media learned about the "Volraith" thing. Soon after, someone else drank a Lucario's blood. Sure enough - he became a Volraith. Word really got out, and Volraiths suddenly began to appear everywhere. I worked in the day-care at the time - and I still do - and I noticed a big rise in the numbers of Lucarios placed in the day-care to breed. On a hunch - I visited a trainer's house just at the time the egg was due to hatch. I saw through his window - he pulled a knife just as it hatched. So I jumped through his window and stopped him. He released his Pokémon and there was a fight. I fought alongside Rissa - my Lucario I met a week earlier - and killed him and his Pokémon in there. I drank the Pokémons' blood, and so I gained another two tallies. I then took the Riolu home and raised him as my own. For the last two months, that's what I've been doing. And that's why I have so many tallies.)" I stop to pull off my beanie and point at them. "(I head to people's houses when their eggs are due to hatch and watch them. If they try to kill the Riolu - I interrupt them and kill them and whatever Pokémon they send out to attack me. For the last two months I've been digging through my "lawyer fund" to have a lawyer fight my cases for me - justifying my killings. And trust me - it takes an expensive but amazing lawyer to keep me on the right side of prison bars. But so far I've made it - thanks to him.)"

I end on that note, dropping my hands to my knees with a sigh.

Shawna sighs and looks down to her crossed legs. "(Can't make up something like that...)" She bites her lip for a moment, keeping her eyes averted away from me. "(I must look like a right bitch.)"

"(I'm sorry?)" I jerk my head back a bit. How? What?

"(Here's me - thinking you're a murderous criminal when all along you're a proactive Pokémon-rescuing superhero.)" Something twangs inside me on that last word. "(I thought you were a horrible person - but what do you know - you've got to be the most god-damn brave person I've ever met!)"

"(Yeah...)" I murmur unsurely and look at my own feet. Seems both of us have fallen into awkwardness now. "(There's a fine line between "superhero" and "monster".)"

"(After hearing that - I'd say you're far from being a monster.)"

There she goes - stirring that same, brilliant warm feeling deep in my chest. I look up with a faint smile - only to find her doing the same.

"(I'm sorry...)" She apologises.

"(It's okay.)" I nod slowly. "(If I was in your position, I would have thought the same. Hell - I probably would have attacked me. That's half the reason I beat up that basketball guy. Chances are he's the killer - so that's why I accepted his challenge and attacked him.)"

"(Really.)" Shawna's smile returns. That same, delightful, coy grin I saw on her earlier today. "(You sure there isn't another reason?)"

"('m sure.)" I nod, but I can feel my cheeks heating a little in embarrassment. She's onto it...

"(Don't lie to me.)" She chuckles. A sweet, joyous melody. "(You two were like a couple of Stantler butting heads. You've got an alpha instinct.)"

"(Mmeh..mmhm... a little...)" I admit after a moment of grumbling. I shrug nervously.

"(Hey - don't be like that.)" Her hand lands on my shoulder. "(We all feel crazy stuff as Volraiths. Crazy animalistic stuff. Like - I get overwhelming urges to lick people's faces if they're really nice to me. Hell - I have to hold myself back to keep myself from chasing after small shiny things!)" She ends in a short giggle. Not a "naughty flirty" giggle, but a genuinely amused giggle.

I smile wider in return, nodding. "(Ah - damn those shiny things. I know the feeling. They're so hard to resist.)" Really. They're just so... glittery and sparkly and they bounce and roll about everywhere and... I just have to get them!

"(Thank god...)" Her body just - loosens after my comment. "(Sometimes I just feel weird. It's just great to know someone else gets it too.)"

"(It's nice to have someone who understands.)" I agree - grinning similarly. "(It's like going through puberty again. So many crazy urges and desires to resist. They're just so strange sometimes...)"

"Vol." She nods feverishly. Her fangs glint again in my ceiling light. They're just so cute...

"(Yeah - like that.)" I chuckle. "(Whenever someone says something - I just want to reply "Vol" every time. Even if it isn't a question.)"

"(But it feels so good to follow those weird things, ae?)"

"(Yeah - it feels great.)"

She nods a little more. She unfolds her legs now, and she lies across the foot of my bed on her side. Her hand goes to her head and tips her cap, and she tosses it aside.

"(Watca doing?)"

"(I wanna lie down.)" She shrugs. She reaches the same hand down her back now. After a second of fumbling a little, it returns - holding her tail. "(Let it hang, y'know?)"

"(Um... yeah...)" I nod slowly. Does she expect-

"(Just do it.)" She nods encouragingly - showing her fangs again as she grins. "(We're both Volraith. We won't judge - right? It feels good.)" Her tail rises behind her to illustrate, and she flicks it about a little.

"(I usually resist my urges...)" I confess after an awkward moment. "(I like to hide my tail...)"

Her mouth falls a little. "(Even on your own?)" She gasps. "(You don't let your tail out or you're your beanie off? You don't just... jump on shiny things? Even when there's nobody around?)"

"(Um... yeah.)" The way she stares... it's like I'm a nut-case. "(I try to retain my... human-ness.)"

"(But why?)" She shrugs elaborately - clearly not understanding my thoughts.

"(I don't want to act too Pokémon-ish.)" I grit my teeth nervously

My anxiety is immediately washed away as Shawna throws her head back with a cackle. "(Oh - you have no idea...)" She purrs. I note a delighted gleam in her eye as she slides bit closer towards me - but still lying down. "(You aren't a human acting like a Pokémon - you're a Pokémon who's acting like a human.)"

"(I don't-)"

"(You evolved.)" She cuts in. "(You're a Pokémon, so stop thinking you're a human! Sure - you can act like a human in public to make things easier - but in your own time you're a Pokémon. You have to enjoy those moments where you can just... be an idiot. Enjoy those moments where you can be a Pokémon!)"

She slides up a bit further, and she lies on the covers beside me. "(Like so...)" She suddenly moves in a bit closer - and she drops her head into my lap. "(Like this...)"

The... the fuck? I stare down at her - immersed in stunned silence. She practically nuzzles into my belly - pulling herself slowly into my lap as I'm stuck sitting against my bed's backboard.

"(You gotta get loose.)" She purrs. She crawls up my stomach and pushes me back against the wall, and she sits in my lap with a playful grin. "(Loosen up)"

And she leans forwards - and she licks my face. She holds my shoulders against the wall, and drags her smooth, warm tongue up my cheek. She smothers half my face in heavenly warmth as she attends to me - still purring in pleasure. God it feels magical...

"(Hehe... stop it...)" I grin and shy away from her after a moment. "(Hey - cut it...)" I paw at her face lightly. I get a smear of saliva across my palm as she darts for it and licks it too. I laugh a bit and paw with my other hand - same story. I press myself as far back as I can go as a helpless giggle escapes me - feeling her descend on me. She grabs my upper arms and pins me against the backboard, and she licks right from my shoulder up to my cheek - throwing me into a crazy giggling fit.

Stuff it!

I lunge forwards a little as she retreats - and I touch my own tongue to her cheek. Her hand appears immediately and swats me aside.

"(Nuh-uh...)" She teases as she sits back in my lap, wagging a finger.

"(What? So you're allowed to lick me but I'm not allowed to lick you?)"

"(Yuh.)" She nods energetically - letting her hair bounce behind her. Long and flowing.

It raises that same thought again. The Volraith physical traits. Long hair and a tail... well, and other changes that aren't appropriate to mention.

Tail...

We're already licking each other's faces - I don't think whipping it out now will really do any harm.

For the first time in so long - I shove my hand down the back of my waistband. My tail spasms as my fingers find it - I'm so unused to touching it. I pull back my waistband, and in one giant, long whip-movement I flick it out the back.

"(Whoa!)" Shawna scoots out of my lap in surprise - staring at it as it hovers over my head. "(That's huge!)"

"(Thanks.)" I smile as I let the tip of my tail hover just in front of my eyes. It's the first time I've ever really looked at it and smiled... the first time I've ever really felt good about it.

Thin and scaly, with a pointed tip much like a Houndoom's. But the scales are so tiny and fine - they feel like silk as I run my finger down them.

Shawna gradually leans forwards - outstretching one arm unsurely and eyeing my tail. I notice her hesitance, and I flick my tail out a little. "(Go ahead.)" I urge her.

She takes m invitation readily, and she grabs it. "(I just can't get over this...)" She marvels wide-eyed - running her forefinger and thumb down my tail. "(I mean - I know guys' tails are bigger since I saw a few people with theirs out at V-meet before you arrived - but yours is just... amazing!)"

I grin wider at the compliment and open my mouth for a moment - but the part of my brain which regulates my social interactions tells me it's probably inappropriate to mention how anatomical differences in males and females are usually to attract mates. So telling her "Volraith girls love huge tails" really wouldn't be a good idea about now.

But still, being hung - in a sense - is never a bad thing.

She continues playing about with it - interest fixed on it as she curls it around like a toy. Still - I can't help but feel a little turned on by it.

She stops suddenly. Her hand jerks away as if my tail has suddenly turned into a Seviper - and she blushes a little. "(Sorry...)" She apologises sheepishly. She averts her eyes to the covers as her face fills with red.

What the hell?

"(Sorry for what?)" I unfold my legs and shuffle towards her a little bit. "(What's wrong?)"

"(Oh - nothing...)" She shrugs. Just for a moment - she glances up at me. her eyes shine in a different, curious way. There's something weird behind them-

Oh my god... she's horny. My whole body freezes with the realisation. She sees me freeze and averts her eyes again. That look in her eyes is the same look... the same look I saw in that ranger's eyes. The same look I get from random bystanders. That same look I get from nearly everybody on occasions.

That dark, lusting gleam that everyone tries to cover up.

Shawna shrugs again as she feels me staring at her - but she doesn't say a thing.

Oh, shit... she feels awkward now...

Looks like I have to do something unconventional.

"(I've been studying my own behaviour for a while.)" I stutter a little as I fight my disturbing desires. That look in her eyes... I could honestly have her right now if I wanted. I can tell. If I just... leapt on her and pinned her right now - I could just fuck her and she'd take it. She wouldn't even try to stop me.

"(Oh, yeah...?)" She nods a little. She makes an effort to look up and smile, but her cheeks flush again. God, she must feel awful... or guilty. I don't know.

"(You wanna know something interesting?)" I continue - somehow sinking my blushing. "(It turns out... Volraiths are actually triple-type.)"

Her head jerks a little. Her trembling eyes sharpen suddenly and focus on me. That's caught her attention.

"(Do you know something interesting about dark-types?)" I go on. "(Dark types can influence others' feelings using vibes. They can make others feel things. Like when they're trying to appear threatening - they transmit vibes that induce fear. They don't even know they're doing it, but they do. We - as Volraiths - can do that. We're ghost, fire and dark type.)"

"(Really?)" She cocks her head curiously. "(But... how do you know we can do that? You can't exactly gauge fear by being threatening.)"

"(But-)" I hold up a hand to say "wait a second". I reach under my bed, and I draw out a book. Leather-bound and old looking. I heave the thing onto my covers where it lands heavily - bouncing on the surface as it tests the springs. "(I can gauge other things.)"

I fold open the front page. At the top of the crusty page - there's a title written in pencil. "Numbers - control."

"(I went out to a club.)" I explain, pointing to the page where it reads "day one". "(I asked every woman I found in there if she would be interested in a one-night stand. Just - casual sex.)" I feel Shawna's face heat again at that, but I press on undeterred. "(I got slapped Arceus-knows how many times - but after three nights I had a few phone numbers from girls who said they were interested.)" I point to areas on the page where I've scribbled down numbers. "(So... a few were interested. Next - going on a hunch - I repeated this. Except I did something else first. i...)" I pause for a moment - trying to work out how so say this without sounding like a creep, "(I logged onto the net and watched some porn for an hour first... I then attended the same clubs, while I was still aroused...)" Shawna's blush only deepens - but she still listens. "(And these are the numbers I got.)"

I flip the page, but hold the page after next folded back so she can't see it.

Shawna's blush fades in an instant - and her embarrassment is overwhelmed by shock.

The top of the page is headed: "Numbers - aroused." Underneath that, every centimetre of the page is covered in numerals. Number upon number upon number upon number - all scrawled onto the page and squished up to fit in. There are hundreds. I give Shawna a moment to stare - then I infold the page I'm holding. At the top it reads "Numbers - aroused (continued)". And there are even more.

"(I tallied the amount of numbers I received compared to the number of women I asked.)" I explain and tap the page with my forefinger. "I had an eighty-percent success rate. Eight-out-of-ten women I asked said they would have casual sex with me. I just asked them out of the blue - and for every ten, only two said no.)"

"(Whoa...)" Shawna still gapes. "(That's... a lot of casual sex...)"

"(I didn't ring any back of course.)" I shut the book. I slide it under by bed quickly with only a tinge of the blush I felt earlier. "(it was just a test. I wanted to knw.)"

"(So... women are attracted to you when you're... aroused?)" She asks, curiously.

Not embarrassed. Not confused or awkwardly - she's interested.

"(And men.)" I add. "(I can tell by people's eyes when they're attracted to me. I unwillingly exude vibes that cause sexual attraction towards me - and I can see them in people's eyes.)"

Shawna stares at her feet for a little longer. She nods slowly, and meets my gaze again. "(I did notice a lot of guys were talking to me after I became a Volraith. Some of them were... really sleazy. Dirtbags. So I kicked their asses.)" We both laugh a little as the mood lifts a bit, but everything's still a bit heavy and our laughter dies quickly. "(Hey... um, thanks for sharing that, Tane.)" Her tail flicks and she grins. "(I know it's got to be hard sharing something that personal...)"

You have no idea...

"(But I'm glad you told me. That explains a lot...)"

"(Just doing what I can to help.)" I smile back. "(Hey - have you had any dinner yet?)"

Shawna shakes her head. "(I was about to go home and have some. Tonight's soup night.)"

"(Oh...)" A guilty gulp catches in my throat. "(Right. Common house...)"

"(Yeah - but what can ya do?)" She lifts herself off my bed with a great yawn, and stretches. "(Make do with what ya got.)"

"(No way.)" I wave it off as I jump off my bed. "(One of our workers shot away tonight before she ate - so we have a plate left downstairs if you want it.)" I lie. I don't tell her it's actually my food.

Her eyes light up a little. "(What - seriously?)"

"(Yeah. Go for it. Chef's served her famous pasta tonight.)"

She tries to hide it with a modest smile and nod - but I feel the joy radiate off her. She hides it with her mouth, but the smile in her eyes can't lie. She hasn't had a real meal in ages. She's practically starved.

I move around her and head for the door, but bring my tail up on my pass to tap her shoulder. "(Just follow me. I'll show you downstairs.)"

I stop short in the doorway as I feel a tug on my tail. I spin to glance over my shoulder - only to find Shawna's hands wrapped around the end and her face wrapped in another playful grin.

"(What are you waiting for?)" She inclines her head with her innocent query. "(Lead on.)"

I chuckle a bit, and allow her her little game. I lead her into the hallway outside my room - towing her by my tail. She doesn't tug it, but still holds it up - like she has me leashed.

Seeing as she's so intent on playing - I drag our game out a little. Instead of leading her straight downstairs, I show her around the second floor a little. First I take her through the gym - pointing out a few exercise machines and the such to make small talk - then I lead her into the library where mum keeps her books, and after that I lead her through the exhibition hall.

The exhibition hall is where mum keeps all her various treasures and relics she's collected over the years. They all sit on pedestals around the edge of the room and along the great blue carpet running the length of the hall. Fossils, old stones, parts of ancient structures, various other keepsakes of all descriptions. Coins, medals, jewellery - you name it.

And right at the end of the great blue carpet running the centre of the hall - there's a giant painting - metres high and wide.

I lead Shawna to a stop just in front of it, and cross my arms with a grin. "(She always says this is her most treasured possession.)"

It's us. In the front of the picture, there's a young boy standing with a grin. His hazel hair drapes across half of his right eye - but beneath that there's a sparkling green iris. On his shoulders, a younger boy sits with his legs wrapped around the other's neck. He too smiles under his golden fringe, and leans around a Torchic sitting on the head in front of him. Beside the first boy, a young man with fiery red hair rests his arm across the younger boy's little shoulders, and raises the artist both a grin and a thumbs-up. At the back of the picture, a man and woman stand behind their kids. The woman's hair long and a deep brown - and a blissful, joyous smirk is spread across her face. Her husband beside her leans on her shoulder with a thumbs-up also - smirking under his beard.

"(That's the only picture of mum without her bandana on.)" I recall.

"(Your family looks awesome...)" I hear Shawna behind me. At first I don't think twice about her tone - but suddenly the grip on my tail eases. Then I realise.

She has no family...

"(Oh - shit...)" I turn around slowly. My eyes clench for a moment as I curse my stupidity. It takes a lot of effort to open them, because I know she's upset.

"(Sometimes life's just unfair...)" She sighs and glances at the ground. She doesn't grip my tail as tightly, but she still rests the tip in her palm. She isn't letting me go. She doesn't want to lose contact.

A shadow crosses her face as her head sinks further. Further she sinks into sadness, but as she does I feel her hand tighten on my tail again. Her left hand is slack and doesn't move, but her right hand holding my tail grips tightly into a fist around me.

Some people clench their fists. Some channel their grief and angst into their fists and ball them as tightly as they can - trying to crush the memory. They put all that sadness into the palm of their hand and try to kill it by choking it with their fingers. They channel whatever grief is left into rage at the world in general - rage for the world treating them like it does - and that rage fuels their crushing fingers.

Yet Shawna doesn't clench her fists. She doesn't ball it in her palm and try to crush it, because only one fist is clenched.

Some people clench one fist. They can channel enough rage into their fingers, they only need one fist. One palm to hold their grief, five digits fuelled by rage to crush it and choke it. To close around it and keep it inside the fist. To close around it and keep it from the outside world.

But Shawna's hand is closed around my tail. A foreign object. People don't like being touched by foreign objects as they channel their grief. It lets the foreign object feel their pain. It lets the foreign object use that pain against them. But she still does. In fact - she channels it straight to me. She channels her grief into her palm, and she touches me with that grief. The fingers holding me so tightly aren't the hands of rage choking me. They're the hands of grief - offering me something stored deep in her heart.

She needs me.

I lift my arms and step into her, and I wrap them around her back to hug her close.

Some people hug. Those hands and arms become security as two wrap around one another, and their bodies become grief. And they share. Wrapped in the same security - they can share that grief. They can hold one another, and they can understand. They can comfort. And that's what we do. We understand.

I rest one hand on the back of her head, and hold it against my shoulder. "(It's okay...)" I whisper in a dumb attempt at comfort. I feel my sleeve dampen under her face as tears flow. They just flow, and flow. They flow like they shouldn't - from someone who seems so strong. So why? Why now? Why cry now?

I hold on to her for what has to be a solid ten minutes. About halfway through that I feel her hang a little, and I have to wrap an arm under her armpits to hold her up so she doesn't collapse.

And I let her cry. Because sometimes that's the only thing we can do...

"(Tane...)"

I lift my head off her shoulder as I hear her speak. "(Yeah, Shawna?)"

"(You won't hurt me, right?)" She removes her head now - meeting me with her teary gaze. Tiny beads trickle from her eyes and down her hot cheeks. "(You're my friend now, right? I can trust you? Please say I can trust you...)"

I don't say anything. Some questions can't be answered in words.

I lean forwards to her face, and I place my tongue on the bottom of her cheek. I lick in a slow line from the bottom of her cheek to just under her eye - wiping away the tears. Then I repeat on the other side - licking away her tears as she stares blankly ahead.

I withdraw with that, and I meet her at eye level without as much as a whisper.

And she smiles. A faint, joyous grin breaks through that mask of sorrow. "(Thanks.)" She moves quickly, and pulls herself into me again. Energetically and enthused as she wraps her arms around me now, and she nuzzles into my neck. "(It's nice to have someone to trust.)"

"(It is.)" I return the hug again, nodding gently.

"(I needed that.)" She confesses after a moment, drawing away to speak directly to me. She still smiles softly, and I can still see the rims of her eyes glimmer with her drying tears. "(I needed that hug. I've needed to hug someone for a long time. Someone I can trust.)"