FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

As promised, the second chapter of the third day. It is twelve words over 7,000, so quite a hefty sum of work. I've done my best to proof-read it, but in my groggy state, I may have overlooked some things. Now, I can't promise you guys anything more anytime soon, since I've some important exams coming up and need to study like a madman. However! After December, you can expect me back in action. Well, so long as Assassin's Creed 3 and Far Cry 3 don't suck me in completely. ;3

Anyway, enjoy. The story is starting to build up to a crescendo, but who's to say how it will end?

~ Ven.

Chapter 2

---

An hour and a half later, we were both showered, dressed and walking out of the lobby of my apartment complex, wheelie trunks trundling along behind us. Hand in paw, fingers interlaced. I'm sure this display would have been sickening to any single people, but at least we didn't start making out on the street.

I had asked to be picked up by the complex cab. There was a different driver, this time - a lizard whose age I simply couldn't guess. But, by his accent, England had to be a safe bet.

"Where can I take you, chap?" He inquired, looking over his suit-clad shoulder. His hat was pushed back on his head, revealing a scaly forehead, and his forked tongue flicked in and out of his mouth subconsciously.

"LaGuardia Airport, please." I answered.

"Certainly!" He tipped his hat to us and drove.

Li and I didn't talk on the way to the airport. She was still in the after-glow of the morning, and content with just snuggling up to me. I managed to get a plan into my head during that time - spend a week at most over in Cali, then get back home and get Li into an MRI machine to check her lungs. The only thing I cared about there and then was her safety, and I'd suffer the consequences of forcing her to stop smoking if that was the only way to make sure she got better.

At the end of the cab fare, I thanked the driver and got our suitcases from the trunk. I became aware of my slightly diminished physical strength, as the simple act of lifting up a suitcase filled with clothes was a difficult task for me. Roll back eight years, and I could have lifted up both cases without even breaking a sweat.

Leanne helped me along, never even making a comment. Once the cases were on the ground, I told her that it was okay and I could drag one along on its wheels.

On the way to the terminal, I stopped and walked to a small convenience store - not to buy food, but to have a look at a podium containing sunglasses of all sorts. I grabbed the first pair that caught my eye and turned to Li.

"Uh... No, those don't suit you." She shook her head and looked over my shoulder, one paw supporting her chin and rubbing at it thoughtfully. While she studied the podium, turning it every few seconds, I replaced the glasses I had taken and went to grab a bottle of ice tea from one of the store's several big refrigerators.

The man behind the counter eyed me for a moment. I blinked, not really sure about his intentions. Then he broke into a grin and waved. I turned and walked back to Leanne, suddenly uncomfortable about being in that store.

By the time I got back, she'd picked out a pair of sunglasses with more or less rectangular lenses. There were no rims on them - the earpieces were screwed directly into the dark glass of the lens, same with the nose support.

"Oh yeah." The wolf nodded, grinning. "Now you just need to grow your hair out and gel it back. And then we just need to find you the right suit."

"You know, I think it'd be better to pay for these glasses first." I smirked, taking them off and handing them to Li. "Could you go pay for these, sweetheart? The clerk gives me the creeps."

Leanne eyed me for a moment, unsure what to make of the claim. But my eyes betrayed no lie. She smiled, nodded, kissed me on the cheek and went off to pay.

We were just on time to board the plane - amongst the last of the arriving passengers. A female otter took my tickets, smiling sweetly. Her thick rudder tail even thumped against the floor when I smiled back.

I guessed that my shaved face, happy expression and current style of dress struck a chord in the girl. She took a little longer to look over the tickets, scribbling something down with a pen, then handed them back and winked at me.

"Enjoy your flight." She said, her tail thumping one more time as Li and I walked down the boarding hall. There was something unusually slippery about the ticket, so I turned it over to take a look. Lo and behold, there was a piece of paper with Suzie and a phone number written down, along with a heart. This stumped me heavily, even though I didn't stop walking.

Leanne snatched the scrap of paper away from me and popped it in her mouth. I heard a few crunches followed by a gulp.

"Nobody is getting their paws on my man." She stated, with sincere bluntness. "I should go over there and bite her tail off for that..."

"Whoa, no need to get snappy!" I quickly kissed Li on the cheek. "I wasn't going to call her anyway."

"Yet you didn't rip that piece of paper up immediately."

"To tell you the truth, I was just shocked. I mean... I look like a ghoul. Some ten years back, maybe. But now?"

Leanne's paw squeezed my hand. "Don't talk like that, honey. If I can't, neither can you."

"But you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met..."

"Hush, Rich. You know what I meant." Her tone faltered for a moment. I could imagine a blush under that sleek pelt.

After being led to first class by the feline stewardess, Li and I took up residence nearer to the front of the plane, where we wouldn't be disturbed by anyone else - our row was secluded, about a metre away from the one behind, and a bar blocked the view from anyone on the other side of the cabin.

The wolf took advantage of this. She pushed up the separator/arm of the chair and cuddled up to me as soon as we'd taken off. Without even a flicker of hesitation, I returned the cuddling.

"This is gunna be a long flight." Li sighed.

I nodded wordlessly, feeling anxiety begin to build in anticipation of the coming reunion. This wasn't even negative anxiety, but the kind you feel when you're waiting for something good to happen, but are a bit too afraid to be excited. It might not make sense, but it's the simplest way I can put it.

What was I afraid of, exactly? I couldn't say. A good possibility would have been Leanne's revelation, the reason for leaving me, in which case, I wasn't even worried about the trip to Cali. But I had the gut feeling that it was a reason I wouldn't want to hear.

"Honey?" Li's voice brought me out of the deep thought. I blinked a few times, taking in the situation, then looked down at her.

"Hm?" "Are you alright?" Those piercing green eyes gazed into mine, and though there was a smile below them, I could tell that it was one of concern.

"Yeah, yeah, everything's good. Just thinking."

She agreed without questioning me this time. "Okay."

"Would you like me to finish what I started telling you last night? To help pass the time?"

Li lightened up a little, perking her lupine ears up and nodding.

"Alright... Well... I got back to the mansion, covered in beer..."

****

The path up to the large building was blocked by a gate, decorated with the Playboy Bunny logo and standing just over nine feet high. Since there were no doorbells here, I was forced to get my phone and call up Roger. It took five rings, but he picked up.

I first heard some giggling in the background, before a very happy voice greeted me.

"Well, hey there, Richard."

"Evening."

"Can I help you?"

"You could open the gate for me, if that isn't too much trouble."

"I thought you were going to spend the night with that Husky girl?"

"Her husband showed up."

All that laughter was gone, fright replacing it. "Christ, Richard, he didn't hurt you, did he?"

"He didn't. Truth is, she and I didn't even get anywhere before he knocked on the door."

A pause. "I'm coming down with Tom and the mistress of the house. Just hold on, alright?"

"Yep." I hung up then, putting away my phone and leaning against the wall at the gate's side. Even in the dim light cast by a streetlamp, I could still see the wet patch left by spilled beer, and a smudge of blood from Megan's cut arm.

Suffice to say, I didn't look too respectable.

A few minutes later, the gate buzzed and opened. The head of a familiar horse fur peeked out.

"There you are!" Roger exclaimed, looking me up and down. He cringed. "You smell like booze and there's blood on your shirt."

"I'm well aware of that."

"Bar fight?"

"Look, I'll explain everything, but could I come in and take a shower first? It's cold out here, you know."

"Sorry, yes." He beckoned me forth. A little ways into the site stood Tom, resident Chiropractic bunny fur from the Hospital, and a woman who I didn't know personally. A hare fur, made distinct by her seven foot height and stiff ears. White hair hung down to her lower back, contrasting against the dark brown fur, braided right to the end. There were spectacles on the end of her nose, crescent-shaped, and the rest of her was covered by a trench coat.

The woman peered at me with suspicion, which I wasn't too surprised about.

"Helen, this is Richard." Roger patted my back.

"Ah, the man for whom the party was arranged?" Her arms were crossed below her breasts, which weren't all that big for a hare. B-cups, but still taking on the appearance of D-cups due to her sheer size.

"Yeah..." Tom confirmed it. I'd known him for about a year then, and he regularly fixed my leg. Nothing serious, he assured, just stress and too much strain from running around the hospital.

"Why were you not here, with your friends?"

The tone she used was dripping with dislike. My guess was the just got dragged out of bed, but the more likely reason would have been me.

"I went downtown with another, older friend." I said, keeping my tone low, holding her gaze. "Disrespectful, selfish reason, but it's the truth."

"And where is this older friend?"

"With her husband."

Helen narrowed her eyes.

"Why are you covered in blood and reeking of alcohol?"

"The beer was spilled on me in a bar, and the blood belongs to a woman who got injured there." I explained. The Hare raised a brow, making me realise my mistake. "Not because of me. She tripped, dropped a tray of the stuff all over me, smashed the glasses, then was knocked down on them by another man, one who was looking for a fight. So I gave him a fight, then took her to the ER. During that time, some of her blood ended up on my shirt."

"You attacked another man?"

"To defend the girl."

"My, I am not sure that I want you around my girls, Doctor. If you cannot control your anger-"

"Are you suggesting that I'd raise a hand on a woman?" I snarled.

"You're certainly raising your voice on one."

I opened my mouth to retort, then thought better of it. Instead, I turned my head to Roger, who'd been standing on the sidelines with Tom, neither of them making any attempt to help me.

"How much did this cost you?" I asked him, quietly.

"Seventy grand." He responded.

Ten grand each. I thought. Taking out my checkbook, I scribbled down what was necessary (Meaning my share of the cash), then put it into the horse's shirt pocket. He snapped out of his trance then, looking down at what had been given to him, and started shaking his head.

"Richard, don't do this-"

"It's done. Goodnight, the three of you."

Helen's eyes burned holes in my back as I walked down the path and back to the town. Roger caught up with me after a moment, laying a hand on my shoulder.

"Buddy, please, don't go." He begged.

"This is what happens when you drag me to places I don't want to go. Go back and have fun for the two weeks. I'll spend some time here, then get back home and to work."

"But you need this. You need to rest."

I wouldn't say that I lost it. I didn't. I just let my anger loose, allowed it to peek around the corner. Spinning to face Roger, I pushed his hand off my shoulder.

"You think I've had a decent night of rest since Leanne left me? Since Morgan died in front of me?" I asked, tone getting louder and louder.

"You couldn't have done anything about that!" Roger fired back. "About any of that!"

"If I'd gotten home sooner, Leanne would have been there. If I'd done just a little more, Morgan would still be alive!"

Roger grabbed me by the arms, staring me straight in the eyes. "Richard, you were the one who saved her life the first time around. The CPR and defibrillator work, you risked frying yourself with that thing. Morgan was already unconscious when the medics wheeled her in, and I've never seen anyone dragged back from death's door like that."

My gaze dropped to his shirt. "I should have done more..."

"You did everything that was humanly possible. It's not your fault." He whispered.

"It is... When a doctor fails at his job, a patient dies... When a man fails his love, she leaves..."

"What? No, no, no. Don't you dare pin Leanne's decision on yourself."

"What else can I blame it on!?" I shoved away from the horse again. "Leave me alone, Roger. You've done enough."

There was a moment of silence, during which he gave me a pleading look. I shook my head in response.

"What will I tell the guys?" He asked, sullenly.

"Tell them that I got an urgent call from work. That the family called. I don't know. Make something up. Just don't tell them what happened tonight." I sighed. "Go enjoy yourself. I don't deserve to."

With that, I turned and walked away.

****

"You blamed yourself for what I did?" Li asked, looking up at me. The pain was back, obvious in her eyes.

"Yes." I sighed. "I thought I'd done something wrong, that I crossed the line somewhere. Trying to figure out exactly what that was nearly drove me insane."

"Richard, no." She straightened up, interlinking the fingers of her hand with mine, looking into my eyes. "You never did anything out of line. You're the kindest, sweetest, smartest man I've ever met, the only one I ever truly fell in love with. You always looked for ways to cheer me up when I was down, always did everything you could to make me smile. You made me feel like I was the only woman in the world who mattered, and if someone were to accuse you of mistreating me, I'd punch them in the teeth."

I smiled, feeling a tear push its way out.

"I'm realising more and more what a stupid mistake leaving was. I can't put into words how much I love you, how much I regret what I did to you. I know I can't do anything to ever take it back, to ever regain your trust, but please, if it's the only thing you'd do for me, don't blame yourself for my actions." By the end of that speech, her voice was little more than a hoarse whisper.

I pulled her into my arms, hugging her. She pressed her cheek against mine and squeezed me tight.

"I'd do anything for you, Leanne. And I trust you. I always did."

A little pause.

"I love you." Li murmured.

"I love you too, my little wolf."

She pulled back to look at me, a crooked smile on her sad face. "You haven't called me that since we started dating in Uni."

"I know. You made me feel so awkward with all that teasing. I mean, sitting down in my lap is one thing, but wiggling to make yourself comfortable? Come on!"

Li giggled, those negative emotions floating away.

"Then I had to keep you there until everyone left, else I'd reveal the hard-on you'd given me with that beautiful tush."

"Oh yeah. I had to resist the urge to grind your lap a little to smooth it down."

I sniggered. "Uhuh. So now do you know why I never looked at your ass in public?"

Leanne tilted her head, smiling. "Why?"

"Because zippers aren't designed to handle that sort of instant inflation."

She burst out laughing at that, breaking the quiet atmosphere of the first class cabin. It took a bit, but we eventually calmed down, and both got up to formally apologise. As it happened, nobody minded. Our joy, apparently, was contagious.

Sitting down, I suddenly found myself under Leanne, who took up residence in my lap. And wiggled.

"Hai." She smirked.

"Really? On a public plane?" I asked.

"Mhm."

A little memory came to me, so I tapped Li's shoulder. She turned her head, seeing up-close the way I licked my lips in an overly-practiced gesture, meant especially for her. And it worked, thanks to intimate relationship her... Lower regions... Had with my tongue.

The wolf's ears drooped and she blushed so hard that I could see it through the fur. Even my lap got a sudden burst of warmth.

"That's not faaaair." She whined, playfully, and dismounted, returning to her own seat. "Great, now you've got me all hot and bothered."

"Be happy that you're not in church, like I was when your friend's sister dragged us there, and you forgot that you had no panties on. And the tight jeans. The heck were you thinking?" I turned in my seat while talking to look at my girl.

"Oh, pfah, nothing, just wanted to do it on the altar." She grinned, wolfishly.

"And what would I have told the priest?"

"That you wanted the Lord to see your pure devotion towards making Christian children?"

"I-... Huh... Not bad." I nodded

"Thanks folks, I'm here all week." The wolf giggled. She then took on a loving smile. "But for you? I'm here forever." Those words, however loving and genuine, faltered. Leanne suppressed a frown, but I saw a look of sadness pass through her eyes.

She noticed my worried gaze and looked away.

"Li... Come here..." I pulled her close, kissing her temple. "Let's take our minds off that, okay?"

"Okay."

"Shall I continue?"

"Yes, please."

****

---

I spent the night in a four star hotel. Initially, the receptionist was hesitant about letting a man of my state in, but after I showed him my card and my cash, he was more than happy to oblige.

Hardly any attention was paid to the surroundings. I got in, took a shower, then got right into bed, quickly tapping out a message for Roger to wait for me outside the mansion, at ten in the morning the next day, so that I could pick up my suitcase. I had no intention of giving him the hotel's address, in case he decided to play hero and came over to change my mind.

That following morning, my clothes were brought back to me, clean and fresh. I thanked the maid, pulled them on, then walked outside to catch a cab which took me right to the gate of the mansion.

"Wait here, please." I told the feline driver.

"Sure." He replied.

Stepping out, I once again took in the majestic sight. A huge building, welcoming and beautiful, looking a bit older than the rest of the city. It was more akin to a castle, now that I could see it in the light of day, with stonework walls and plants growing up them like determined climbers. There was nothing to be seen through the windows - not that I wanted to peek.

Ten minutes after my arrival, Roger walked out of the building, pulling along my black Wegener suitcase, its design made obvious by a red and silver cross on the main case body. The gate opened at the moment Roger got within ten feet of it, but only slightly. Only enough to pass through my belongings.

To my surprise, the horse didn't hand everything over immediately.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked, letting the case stand on its own, his arms hanging by his sides once they were relieved.

"About what?"

"About this."

"You mean the outing?"

"Yes."

"The Mistress made it very clear that she doesn't want anyone of my type here."

"That's not it."

"Well, how about this; I've met Helen before, while I was down here on work leave. She was cycling down a road and a car hit her. She started howling about her leg being cut open, so I ran over to help."

I decided to spare Roger the details.

"Basically, she threatened to sue me if I touched her. 'Human swine', as she put it."

The horse's jaw flopped down, but his mouth didn't open. I grinned sickeningly.

"What, did you think she tossed me away because I was in that state? Oooh no. She's just got a prejudice for humans. Specifically, human men."

"That's not fair! She can't do that to you!" Roger began.

"It's life, Roger. Give me my case." I cut him off. He opened his mouth to protest again, but decided against it once he took a good look at me. Remembering that horrid woman certainly didn't help my mood, and I wanted to get as far away from that mansion as possible, as soon as possible.

A few more seconds of hesitation and he pushed my case through the gate, after which it slammed closed. I had a good idea as to who was operating it.

"So long, hoss. And don't get the guys kicked out." I saluted in a sloppy fashion and got back to the taxi.

With my stuff back in my apartment, I called up Brandon to check on the state of the get-together he wanted so much. The phone didn't even finish its first ring when he picked up.

"Hey, Richard!"

"Hey."

"I took Megan home last night, and offered to take her along to my place today. She nearly jumped on the offer to see you again."

Megan. I'd love to see her too. I smiled. "That's good. Sounds like the shock was gone by the time you dropped her off."

"Rich, there was no shock to speak of. She was smiling all the way back. When I asked her what made her so happy, she said that it was you." A pause. "Did you know that Megan has a crush on you?"

I blinked. "Huh?"

"Yeah. She's had it ever since that party."

That was new. Yes, I'd noticed her different behaviour, the way she was always shy around me, but never guessed that it went that deep.

"I see..."

"She's a sweet girl, you know. Maybe this is worth exploring?"

It had been years, way too long to still be hurt by such words, but I couldn't stop myself in time. "Brandon, never say anything like that in my presence."

My tone was harsh and forced. It made the tiger stop talking for a while, at the end of which he sighed. "I'm sorry. That was arrogant and stupid... I just thought having someone there would make you happy."

"Don't betray your own sister on my account. Family is more important."

"You are family, Richard."

Once again, I was taken aback. I hadn't spent much time with Brandon's family, yet they already thought me to be one of them. It was humbling, really.

"Thank you."

"No need. When you and Li left to go back to Uni, Dad said that he couldn't ask for a better son in law."

"I can't really grant his wish anymore."

"Look, let's not talk about this. How about I come over and collect you, then we can go get Megan together and I'll take the two of you over to my place? Cayleigh will be here, she's just in the bath at the moment."

"Sounds good."

"Alright. I'll just need your address."

Brandon picked me up outside the hotel. This time around, I got a chance to ask him about the new car.

"This? Oh, just a marriage present from my parents. And it's not really new. Just washed." He chuckled, throwing me a little smile.

"How long have you and Cay been together, then?"

"Just... Uh... Four years, I think? Something like that."

"Nice." I nodded my approval just as the tiger turned into a Cul-De-Sac, stopping next to the curb across from a modest looking bungalow. Megan walked out almost immediately, waving to both of us with her good arm, since the other was held down by a medical sling.

She hopped over and got in the back.

"Hey, guys!"

"G'morning, Megan." Brandon said.

I turned around in my seat, smiling at Megan, and reached over to take her paw. She blushed hard, her feline ears drooping, and a shy little smile appeared on her face.

"Hey, Megan. Did you sleep okay?" I asked.

"Y-yes... The painkillers you made the other Doctor give me a prescription for worked really well. Thank you..."

"I'll have a look at your wound again, just to make sure, when we get to Brandon's, alright?"

Megan nodded, smiling still.

"There's a first aid kit in the bathroom." Brandon confirmed. "I'll get it, just say when."

During the time that I turned my head to look at the Tiger while he spoke, the Lioness moved forward and kissed my cheek. A gesture that took me completely by surprise, and one that took a lot of courage from the girl, since she looked scared when I turned to look at her again. As if I'd react badly.

Instead, I smiled again, giving her paw a little squeeze. "Thank you."

Megan giggled, blushing furiously, and covered her face up as best as she could with one arm. I laughed and turned, giving her some privacy to cool off.

After a ten minute drive, Brandon stopped outside an apartment complex. I didn't pay much attention to how big the place was, since it was surrounded by buildings of equal or greater height, but my gut told me that it was expensive, in a modest way. The lobby had a guard, just like my place, though this one looked a lot less friendly. I mean; six foot tall, wide shoulders, Kevlar vest, handgun on his hip and the mean Doberman face looking out from a shadow cast by a flat-top visor cap.

Brandon didn't greet him, just made straight for the elevator. I followed him at an easy pace, while Megan chose to use me as a means of hiding from the intimidating lobby guard.

"That was Damien." Brandon told us, just after the doors slid closed. "He doesn't say much, but then again, he keeps any potential thieves away just by looking at them."

I glanced over at Megan, who was only just beginning to relax. Her good arm was wrapped around mine, and I had the impression that my circulation was starting to return, finally.

"The guard wouldn't do anything without reason, Megan. There's nothing to be afraid of." I smiled, managing to get a weak little smile in return.

"I know... I'm just a scaredy-cat..."

"Nu-uh." I shook my head. "You're a lion. Not to mention the fact that you're a woman. The Queen of the jungle - even the King's afraid of you."

While I spoke, Megan's smile grew more and more.

"You're not a kitty-cat. You're a big, terrifying beast. Let's see your claws - and give me a roar."

The Lioness raised her hand and flexed her fingers, exposing those razor-sharp claws which made cats so dangerous. Then, she followed it up with a much less impressive, "Rawr!"

Brandon turned his head to stifle a giggle, while I just gave the girl a careful hug.

"Practice it two times a day in front of the mirror. You'll have guys shrieking before you know it."

She got as much out of the hug as she could, almost refusing to let go when the elevator stopped. I was at another dilemma there - if I was too kind, seeing me leave might have hurt Megan, and I didn't want to see her saddened. Worse, she'd ask me to stay, or to come with me. On the other hand, being a jerk wasn't in my nature.

The internal battle continued as we followed Brandon down a short hallway, ending at a solid wooden door. He used a key to open it, then called out, "Cay, I'm home!"

Through the doorway, the first thing that caught my eye was a spiral staircase in the far corner of the room. The lack of any obvious bedroom doors suggested that the occupants slept upstairs. On the left, there was a kitchen, a dark overall theme to it with a hint of style created by the sleek surfaces. There were no handles and no cupboards visible, but I'd seen that sort of layout in a magazine - the doors were controlled by pressure. To open one, you simply poked it, making it pop out and allow access to the contents.

Moving on, I noticed the fireplace on the right, above which hung a large, flat-screen television. Facing it was a U-shaped couch, dark brown and leather, by the looks of it. A coffee table in the centre of said couch was a good enough indication that there was no real dining room.

There was a bay window at the back of the apartment, though it looked more like a painting. It exposed the blue water and golden beach, along with the slightly clouded sky and a few boats in the far distance.

"Make yourself at home. I'm gunna go check on Cayleigh." Brandon pointed us to the couch while moving towards the spiral staircase, then disappearing up it.

Since it didn't look like Megan intended to move without me, I took the lead to the couch, sitting down in one of the two corners. She sat down close by, within arm's reach if need be.

A few minutes passed before Megan worked up the courage to say anything, and it was a rather personal topic, one I didn't even realise she knew about.

"Richard?" Her soft, hopeful voice caught my attention.

"Mm?"

"What happened between you and Leanne? Why did she leave you?"

I turned my gaze to Megan, saw that she was concerned. She didn't mean harm, and I guessed that there was little curiosity in her question. She wanted to talk to me, to try and help. "I... Don't know, Megan. I really, really don't. One night, I came back home and she was just... Gone."

The Lioness sat there, a saddened expression on her features, then slowly reached out and put her paw on my hand. That gesture didn't require any words, and it made a faint smile cross my lips, though the combination of the knowledge that I still had true friends, and the sadness for my love's departure, also pushed tears up into view.

"Richard! Hey!" I heard my name being called out by a distinctly feminine voice. Cayleigh was making her way gracefully down the spiral staircase, more or less sliding down the banister while her feet only brushed over the stairs. She hadn't changed much since I last saw her - that slender figure was pretty as ever, short brown hair contrasting against her white fur, dressed in a blue T-shirt and a pair of jean-shorts. Not too short, obviously, but enough to say that she wasn't going out anywhere that day.

"Morning, Cayleigh. It's been a while." I said, while standing. The Ferret moved straight towards a hug, but stopped dead when she saw the tears in my eyes.

"Are you alright?" She asked. Brandon looked at me from over her shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah... Just remembered something unpleasant."

"Come with me. We'll get you a tissue." I felt Cay's paw on my back as she guided me towards the kitchen. Brandon took a seat and started up conversation with Megan to give his wife and myself some privacy.

"I haven't seen you in years, Rich." The Ferret commented, after I'd cleaned myself up a bit. As soon as she was sure that everything was in order again, she gave me a light hug. "Thanks for protecting Megan."

"Ah... It's no big deal. She needed help, and she's my friend." I returned the hug, then let go as soon as Cay did.

"Yeah, but not a lot of guys would stand up and protect their friends like that. You're a real hero, you know that?"

I smirked. "I'm just a guy."

"A hero. Full stop. Don't argue with a woman, 'cause you won't win." She grinned, and I grinned back.

The Cayleigh I'd gotten to know back when Li and I were at her home hadn't changed a bit - she was still looking at the bright side of everything, always looking to make others laugh. Memories of her and Leanne's collaborative teasing of me came flooding back; I'd be sitting on a couch, mind drifting in and out of awareness due to boredom, then Li would suddenly grab my wrists and pin them above my head. Cay would appear, a big grin on her face, and proceed to tickle me mercilessly.

Brandon didn't mind - his sister and girlfriend did the same thing to him, and sometimes even more evil stuff since he was her younger bother. They'd pounce him, pin him to the ground, then the one closest to his face would dye his fur a different colour. I'd have helped him, but it was just too funny to watch.

Cay's tone changed to a more formal one as she leaned on the counter, arms crossed.

"So... How have you been? I mean, aside from the... Incident."

"Leanne leaving me, you mean?"

She nodded.

"As good as any heartbroken man could be, I guess. I try not to think about it." I didn't mention the development of my affinity for alcohol, since that would have complicated things unnecessarily. I didn't want to be signed up for AA meetings by concerned friends. I mean, I didn't even drink that much. As a Doctor, I was restricted to getting hammered on the weekends, and only slightly hazy anywhere in between.

It may have been a sign of weakness on my part, but the bottle was the only thing keeping me from putting a bullet through my temple.

"I'd say that's the best way to deal with pain, but I wouldn't know." Cay's gaze settled on Brandon, an expression of uncertain worry clouding her eyes. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost him..."

I couldn't utter a response, partly because I didn't know either, partly because I didn't want to know. The loss of a loved one, when they are taken from us before their time, is certainly a shattering event. I could say that the strongest make it through, but then, even those with the strongest hearts can have them broken. It's just the stubborn that cling to life by whatever means they can, either because they're afraid of what's beyond, or because some small flame of hope is still burning in them. As the years went by for me, the former became more true than the latter.

"God, what am I doing? I'm sorry, Richard. I shouldn't be standing here, making you feel bad." She sighed, shook her head, then changed her tone, trying to put a smile on. "Do you want anything to drink?"

Were I alone, I'd have asked for something strong. But with this particular company... I'd have to endure the sting for once, without dulling it.

"Please. Anything fruity will do fine."

Hours and hours later, the mood in the apartment had shot through the sky. Laughter all around, watching movies, playing all sorts of games. The three of them had done a fantastic job of making me forget my troubles, at least for a day - which was more than I could have asked anyone to do.

Conversation went away from Brandon's family, and Leanne was only mentioned once, that I recall, during the whole event. That was a bit of fond reminiscing with everyone involved, so no tears needed to be shed.

As night fell, we all had a drink or two each. That lifted spirits even higher, and we sat on the floor next to the fire to play a game of spin the bottle. Cay and Megan broke into giggles when Brandon and I were forced to exchange a little smooch, both of us acting like teenagers afterwards and wiping our lips in mock disgust. When the tables turned, and the girls had to kiss, we just stayed quiet and watched.

"See that, Meg?" Cay gestured to us. "Best way to get a guy's attention is to start making out with another girl. These two studs were close to drooling there."

Megan started giggling, Brandon flushed and I coughed into my hand, looking away and keeping my own flush in check. While we struggled with embarrassment, the Lioness took a spin, and the bottle ended up pointing to me.

Brandon and his wife exchanged concerned glances, but Megan didn't care. She was already smiling and shuffling around to get closer to me.

How bad could it be? I thought. A little kiss, the girl is happy, the mood stays steady.

Her eyes closed as she leaned forward. I made up my mind, but the hesitation was obvious. The kiss that followed... It wasn't like a kiss I'd had before.

It felt wrong. It was reminiscent of the guilt I'd felt after I left Dani's hotel room. In hindsight, I wasn't sure if I'd have been able to go through the sex, either.

Megan was falling further and further into the kiss as my eyes flipped open and I glanced at the couple. They weren't giggling or smiling. Brandon was biting his lip, and Cay was outright frowning, definitely having picked up on my discomfort.

Cursing myself, my luck, and my stupidity, I lay my hands on Megan's shoulders and gently pushed her back. Her eyes fluttered open, awash with confusion, but by that time I was already standing up.

The Lioness didn't get a chance to call out before I'd made it to the door, muttering an apology and goodbye.

I was out of the lobby doors and into the cold air of Miami when Brandon caught up to me, but I didn't stop, forcing him to walk and talk.

"I'm... I'm sorry that happened, Richard." He said, tone hushed, paws buried deep in the pockets of his jacket. I didn't have one, and the chill was a sort of self-punishment for me.

"It's not your fault." I responded.

"It is... I shouldn't have told Megan about this. We'd have been fine in a three."

"You couldn't have known how I'd react."

"I should have asked you first."

I didn't respond to that.

"Look... Will you at least let me give you a lift to your hotel?"

"No. Go back to Cayleigh, and make sure Megan understands that it's nothing to do with her."

"Then what is it, if not her?"

I stopped, sighing. After a deep breath, I faced the Tiger.

"I'm a broken man, Brandon. I can't be with any woman anymore because I feel like I'm betraying Leanne."

I saw him tense up, saw the anger building. "Richard, she made her decision, and you're beating yourself up over it! Do you even realise how much it hurts me to see my own brother in this state?"

"And what do you suggest, Brandon?" I snarled. "That I go against my instincts and try and build a relationship on a lie?"

The fight left him as soon as it arrived. He backed down, but I wasn't finished.

"And tell me, do you realize how many times I thought about ending it all? I've only gotten this far because of work, and I'm not going to put a poor girl through pain just to make her happy for a few months."

It struck me then, how that argument was identical to the one I'd had with Roger only a day back. Life was just repeating itself. I groaned, looked up at the sky and took a deep breath again to calm down.

"Go home, and God forbid you give Megan my number. Tell her that I'm just a jackass, and she deserves better."

"There isn't anyone better..." Brandon muttered.

"I'm sorry." I told him, unable to make eyecontact after that. Turning, I walked down the street and caught a cab.

****

"So that was the real reason behind you not dating Julie." Li murmured.

"Yes..." I sighed. "I was too afraid of the guilt I'd feel. I didn't want to be responsible for breaking Julie's heart."

The Wolf looked at me, reaching up to stroke my cheek with a gentle paw. "You put others ahead of yourself. Not many people do that, Richard." She didn't get any further before tears began to flow, her green eyes glimmering and a frown twitching onto her lips.

"I'm sorry."

I pulled Leanne down and hugged her tight, allowing her to let it out into my chest. She let some stifled weeps become muffled in my jacket, and I did my best to comfort her through hair-strokes and gentle humming.

That was as far as the important parts of my past stretched. Now all that was left was the present and the future, and neither of those was a certainty anymore.