What I See in You - Chapter 2:
#2 of What I See in You
"It left you behind? What on earth do you mean?" Zulf said, taking a sip of his juice.
"Exactly what I say." Zerrif replied, downing his water. "My past, and those involved, didn't really care much for me. So they left me behind. Instead of me erasing my past, everything involved in my past simply erased my existence. And it was better that way." He stared out the window at the black of night, and cocked his head a little. "You know, it took so long to realise that I'd been thrown astray, too. It's pretty sad."
"What's sad," Zulf muttered, putting his glass on the nearby table again. "Is the way you're talking. Do you even listen to yourself? I don't think it's the past that has left you behind, rather, you've left yourself behind in the past."
"Maybe I have." Zerrif admitted. "All that I know, is that it's too late to reverse what has happened."
"What happened?" Zulf asked, leaning in a little. Zerrif turned around, and looked painfully at the ground. "You don't have to tell me if it's only going to bring up bad--"
"I just don't know where to begin." Zerrif said. "What's there to tell you? My dad was a police officer, but he was killed on the job. Then my mom got together with some bastard dog who was in the police force too, but he wasn't an ideal father. He ruined our lives, and nearly drove us into bankruptcy. I quit college so that I could go back to the workforce, but then..."
Zulf stayed silent. He hoped Zerrif was ending here.
"There was a catastrophe. Our house was set on fire. We found out that the idiot dog was making meth in the basement; a small amount had exploded and set the house on fire. I was on the job at the time, and I was the only one at work. I always worked the late night shifts, and so everyone was asleep. They had no time to get out."
"Zerrif... I'm sorry..." Zulf muttered. "So, it left you alone, then?" Zerrif laughed pathetically.
"I was alone far before that happened." Zerrif said. Zulf looked at him, and shook his head. Part of him wanted to tell Zerrif to stop, and another part wanted to hear, so he knew just how Zerrif needed to be treated. "My 'stepfather'... he... everything was his fault. Our lives were so happy before he came into them. "
"You and your mother?" Zulf asked.
"And my two little sisters. Oh god, I wish I could have saved them from him." Zerrif said, starting to bury his face in his hands. Zulf saw he began to shake, and placed his paws on Zerrif's shoulders to stop him. The ferret just shook more in his grip. "He... he took my sisters like this... and he forced them... forced... to do..."
Zulf understood. He simply took the ferret into an embrace, trying to calm him down.
"And me... and what's worse..." Zerrif said, starting to cry. "My m-mother knew... she knew! She didn't do anything... I don't know why... but she just let it happen to us..."
"That's enough..." Zulf muttered. "It's okay, alright Zerrif? This new family won't do that to you."
"... You should go." Zerrif said. He pushed himself out of the wolf's calming grip. "Please." He added. Zulf nodded, and stood up. He ruffled Zerrif's hair lightly, then went to the closet and got his things. He looked back at the ferret still on his sofa, hunched over and sobbing. He sighed, and simply left the apartment.
"I... I haven't told anyone that... in how many years now? God... what have I been doing with myself?"
The whole night, and the morning after, Zulf couldn't think of anything else but Zerrif. Was he okay? Would be he okay? He seemed to be unstable, but things began to make some sort of sense. Zerrif hid all this away, which forced him to hide himself. Was that why he never seemed to display emotion at work?
There had to be some way to get Zerrif to finally come to terms with himself. He had considered himself a little lucky to have been there with the ferret last night, as awkward as it was. Zerrif had some sort of emotional outburst; probably the cause of keeping it inside the whole time. If Zerrif was going to do anything stupid, at least he was there.
The bell chimed, and Zulf looked up to see Zerrif walk into the bar, the same neutral expression on his face like usual. He raised an eyebrow at the ferret, who just shrugged and placed his things in the back.
It was like last night never even happened. Zerrif could do something like that easily, just pretend something never happened. Just like Jayce.
Those two were extremely similar.
"Morning boss!" Lorrie said, from the door as she came in. "Wow, y'look like you didn't get a minute of shut-eye! You sure you're okay?" She asked. The wolf growled something inaudible, and nodded. Lorrie smirked, and greeted Zerrif as he came out from the back. The ferret and the wolf shared a glance, then looked away. "What'd I miss?" Lorrie asked.
"Nothing." Zulf said, picking up a cloth and heading to the back. "I'm gonna take a nap in the back, wake me up if something happens." He said. Zerrif just nodded, and began to open up the bar. Lorrie stood in front of the countertop, hands on her hips, unsatisfied.
"What in bloody blazes happened?" She asked, but received no answer.
"Alrighty boys, play nice. I'm goin' home now." Lorrie said. Zerrif waved, and she turned to Zulf, who nodded. She sighed, and simply stepped out of the door, and stretched.
Damned if she was going to stay while the fireworks exploded.
"How do you do it?" Zulf asked, wiping the inside of a glass clean. Closing with Zerrif was always speedy; the ferret seemed to be so one track minded that all he could do was his work.
"Do what?" Zerrif asked, putting away some bottles and trays.
"You always come in here, work as if there's nothing wrong, and then you go home and who knows what happens to you?" Zulf said, putting the glass down and getting more. "I worry about all my workers, Zerrif. It's not good to be hiding things." He tried to talk as if last night wasn't the issue at hand; though he could tell they both had it on their mind.
"What about you?" Zerrif asked, grabbing some more bottles. "You're not exactly the open book, either." He added, putting the bottles away.
"What is it you want to know, then?" Zulf replied, a coy smile on his face. "No one ever seems to ask a wolf any questions anyway, it's like they're scared."
"Maybe." Zerrif said, ignoring the first part of the question. "Alright, I'm done here." He said, taking off his apron. "I'm heading home."
"You don't need a ride? Just wait a couple minutes, I'll be able to give you one." Zulf said. Zerrif seemed to think it over. "Zerrif."
"No." The ferret quickly replied, not letting Zulf say another word. "I'm walking." He said, and with that, he made his way to the door. Zulf simply stared, then shook his head; the last time he had gone too far into personal matters, it had ended up in tragedy. He wasn't going to go through another Jayce.
A few minutes passed; though he had barely gotten any work done, Zerrif had done most of the closing for him. He was about to head into the back, when the wall with his bottles shook slightly. He stared at them, watching them slowly vibrate to a stop, and then they shook again.
"Earthquake?" He said, bracing himself. No, the ground wasn't shaking. It was his wall. He grumbled, and was thankful that he was done, anyway, and went to his door.
He locked it, then shoved the keys into his little rucksack, then went to go walk to his car. It was parked by the alley, anyway; he'd be able to see what the problem was.
When he pretended to go to his car, however, he was greeted with a peculiar sight. There were three figures in the alleyway, two dogs and a ferret; the ferret being pinned up against the wall.
"Idiot ruffians." Zulf mumbled to himself, not having been noticed yet. "Hey, dumbasses! My wall isn't some place to pin your little prize on, go get a room!" He shouted. The two dogs looked over, and then they laughed. The ferret looked over, and at that moment, Zulf dropped his rucksack.
There was Zerrif, nearly naked save for his underwear, being pushed and gyrated against. He looked away in shame, and Zulf ran at them, full speed. Afraid of whatever beating was coming to them, the dogs turned tail, and ran down the opposite end of the alleyway. Zulf stopped beside the ferret, who simply sat on the ground in his skivvies.
"... Boss..." Zerrif started, and Zulf picked him up. "Hey, Boss, put me down, dammit!" He said, flailing.
"You're not walking home in this weather. Not clothed like that." Zulf said. Zerrif looked away, and started to cry. "Hey, look at me--"
Zerrif leapt out of Zulf's arms, and turned around.
"Leave me the fuck alone!" Zerrif said, running down the alleyway. He stopped somewhere further down, and picked up his clothes, but didn't even bother putting them on. Zulf just stared.
"Zerrif..." He muttered, and sighed. He got into his car, and drove up to Zerrif. "Get in the car." He said, watching as the ferret walked, essentially naked, down the street, and crying.
"Go away. I'm not letting you do that to me again." Zerrif replied. Zulf grumbled. What exactly did he think he was intending to do?
"Zerrif, you'll get sick--"
"WHO THE FUCK CARES?" Zerrif shot back. "Listen, you learned things about me that I haven't told anyone in over five years! I had put that all behind me, and all of a sudden, you brought it out! I was fine just being as I was. Did you really have to intervene?"
"I don't know, did I?" Zulf shot back. "You're a walking emotional time-bomb; you're going to fucking EXPLODE on the wrong person if you don't watch yourself! I'm trying to help you, goddamit!"
"Then help me by staying the fuck away!" Zerrif said. Zulf growled, and Zerrif stopped walked, and stared into the car. "I don't know what the fuck you and Jayce had before, but this isn't the same!" The ferret shouted. Zulf's fists clenched around his wheel.
"What. Did. You. Say?" Zulf said, obviously ticked off.
"I'm not Jayce, dammit! You don't have any responsibility for me!" Zerrif shouted back.
"Yeah, you're right. I don't have any responsibility for someone who can obviously take care of themself." Zulf said. "See you at work tomorrow." He added, bitterly, and sped off. The ferret watched as the car rolled out of sight, and shivered. He dropped his clothes, and started to put them on silently.
"I'm not Jayce!" Zerrif's voice kept repeating itself in Zulf's head. He slowed down to a halt, and sighed.
"I know." Zulf muttered. But no matter how many times he told himself that, all he could think of was how they were similar. Both extremely independent, both very focused workers.
Both with the troubled background.
"I KNOW!" Zulf said, pounding his dashboard. He sighed, and looked in his rear view mirror, hoping that Zerrif would appear any second.
He waited.
And waited.
"Fuck." Zulf muttered, revving up the engine. He made a u-turn on the road, and drove back.
It didn't take long for Zulf to catch a glimpse of Zerrif again. He sighed in relief; at least he had clothed himself. He drove up to Zerrif again, but the ferret simply glared daggers through the windshield, and continued on.
"Get in the car." Zulf said. It was almost like a growl, but it was definitely an order.
The ferret just stared at him, then continued to walk on. Zulf growled for real this time, then began to slowly drive along.
"Zerrif, get in the fucking car." Zulf said, angrily. The ferret looked at him again, and this time, the wolf decided to get out of his car. He walked over to Zerrif, and grabbed his arm.
"LET ME GO!" Zerrif said, lashing out. "Just... leave me alone! God!" There was a slight scuffle; the flailing of the smaller ferret with the more powerful wolf. Zerrif let out an angry sort of yell, and whipped out with his hand, backhanding Zulf in the face.
Then, there was silence. Both were stunned, the ferret afraid of what would happen. He began to step away.
"Why? Why do you think you have to help me? You don't!" Zerrif replied. Zulf sighed. He rubbed his chin casually; the little guy sure packed a punch. It had taken all his internal strength not to lash back; that wasn't going to help his situation.
"I don't feel like I have to do anything. I'm choosing to do it, you idiot." Zulf replied. "Now get in the damn car before I do something I'll probably regret." Zerrif's eyes widened. Zulf simply glared down at him. Defeated, the ferret began to slink over to the car. He got into the passenger side seat without a word, and buckled himself in.
The ride went without a word said, until they arrived at stoplights. The car slowed to a halt, and as it did so, Zulf let out a sigh.
"Listen. Before you lash out at me, or hate me for the rest of your life..." Zulf started. The light seemed to stay red forever. "I'm... sorry. I didn't see you for who you were. That didn't help, either; considering your situation."
"... What are you trying to say?" Zerrif muttered, in an offended tone. Zulf looked over at him, and bowed his head.
"I'm really, really sorry, Zerrif." He said. "You're not Jayce, I know. You're your own individual. You're you. No matter how much you remind me of someone else, you're going to be you."
"... Do you expect me to apologise too?" Zerrif asked. Zulf resisted the urge to laugh.
"Only if you feel like you should." Zulf replied. "Otherwise, I don't expect anything of you."
"..." Zerrif looked out his window "I... I guess I'm sorry." He mumbled. "It's just that... I don't know. It hurt way too much to have someone close to me, and then to have that person decide to just go ahead and fuck with my head. I... I don't want that to happen again." Zerrif said, starting to clutch his arms and curl up.
"I already told ya." The wolf replied. "Lorrie and I ain't like that. Especially her. I'm sorry for what I did to you, but if only I'd known, everything would have been done differently." Zulf muttered. Zerrif looked over.
"Hey, you missed my apartment..." He said, watching Anthis Towers zoom by.
"We're not going to yours." Zulf muttered. Zerrif sat up straight.
And yet, he couldn't do anything about it.