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Chapter 6

Tenderfoot

A 32 hour day takes a while to get used to. As a homer, it seemed that 24 hours was not enough time in the day. But 32 was certainly an adjustment that has its advantages. My day was split up so that 24 hours was all about learning and training. Trust me, the 8 hours that was social time was training as well. At 0800 hours it was breakfast followed with a 6 mile run and a shower. I remember the Marshall told me that cleanliness was a natural law on Cerces IV, and he wasn't kidding. It's actually a planetary ordinance. I learned that and many other fun facts at 1000 hours when I hit the books. Seems I have to have an exam by the 12th day, and I must past with at least 95%. The Marshall said I looked brighter then I act, but considering my grade point average, I was in some deep shit. The standard text on the tablet is the equivalent of 874 pages of reading. Somehow, the Marshall narrowed it down to 64 pages, which he commented a true fact about most laws of man.

"The fact is that the official text, as any law book man writes, dates back to the age old problem of the 20th century. Too many fucking lawyers. Do you realize in this book eight pages are devoted to littering alone. Hell I narrowed it down to a one line sentence. No littering of any biodegradable or non-biodegradable items."

That made more sense than what eight pages could of simply said. I also had to bone up on the History of Cerces IV. In its history, they had 28 Presidents, one economic depression, and no wars. Proto-Human don't have wars like they do on Earth. See, there is a lack of need for missiles, bombs, proton cannons when you're protected by the great Legion of United Civilizations. Don't get me wrong, they do have guns, they just ain't as stupid as men. Nobody wants to rule the world; they just want to bust a nut. 97% of the violence on Cerces IV is usually over a man or a woman. And 70% of the time, it's the human that commits the crime. Talk about racial profiling.

By 1400 hours, it's what they call Leisure hour. This is probably the most fascinating time of the day considering it implies it's lunchtime, but there's more cooking in the bedroom then in the kitchen. Three hours that are predominant devoted to sex. Matter of fact, there seems to be two key rules about leisure time. Never do it in the corridors, or the streets. And never do it where people eat. What can I say, Proto-humans are clean. I usually do some security work that the Marshall set up with the Captain so he can see me actually performing some policing. Most the time I was bringing in a couple who broke the Pubic fornication law which like I said, never in the corridor, and on the ship any dining area. Personally I see Druzilla making eyes at me. As the days pass I find myself not so bothered by her scaly appearance. She is a young and very attractive woman. Hell, there are a lot of women on this ship, and I am tempted except the Marshall makes sure I have plenty to do to prevent that from happening.

He always tells me, "You're not ready to have sex with a Proto-human. They are demanding, you need a strong constitution, stamina, and if you pop the cork too soon, be lucky if the girl remembers your name." From what Rudy tells me, women have a stronger sexual libido. You love a woman just right, you can screw around with anyone and she'll come running back no matter what. This is a weird concept for me seeing how it was that reason I find myself forsaken returning to Earth. At the same point, I am not likely the kind of guy that would go screwing around if I found that right person. But as my friends in college said even that night, "You'd be a few to blow this opportunity." Well maybe I would have been, and then again things may have been a bit different. After all, now I'm on a ship full of sexed crazed Proto-human females and I feel like odd man out.

By 1700 hours ,its back to training. Learning everything from basic Police work to training with the firearms. There are three basic weapons that a peace officers must be proficient with. The first is a common shotgun. The standard issue is a short barrel variant, although I only shot the standard model. The shells are specially designed as they are a form of the common bean bag shells that act like stunners. I'm told we rarely shoot to kill, that is the last result. Also something about the smell of blood drives some of these Proto-humans plumb loco. The Longbow is more of a military weapon than a standard weapon. It is a semi-automatic, able to fire two rounds a second. Long bows are the AK-47 of our time as it can fire almost any shell. Well, except a shotgun round apparently. It is also the weapon to use to actually kill when necessary. It is unlike any gun I ever fired as for all its bulk, it I extremely light. In most cases its ammunition makes up for its weight.

The last is the staple weapon of all modern day gunslingers, the Lancer. The Lancer has been called the mot idiot proof gun man has ever made. It's able to fire .9 millimeters shells, and can even fire a ,45 caliber shell. We usually carry stunners so they are always loaded. Like the longbow, they are light and easy to fire. There is only one bad side to the gun. It is said you never touch the safety on the gun because the Holster is designed to always shut it off when removed, and turn it one when holstered. It's bad practice to manual set the safety, because 9 out of 10 times, you will shoot yourself in the foot. On the third day of training, I would find that out when I did exactly that. Accidentally engaging the safety when I holstered it, I shot myself in the right foot. Thus I earned my first nickname...'Tenderfoot.'

The next 12 hours was a potpourri of activities, it wasn't until the fifth day I finally figured out I was no longer a homer. I went down to the swimming pool, which was kind of a social gathering for the off duty crew. I would spend a lot of time here talking with Druzilla and Rudy. It's been 2 days since I earned the title Tenderfoot. Luckily it was a stunner that hit me instead of a conventional round. It took 18 hours for the damn numbness to wear off. None the less, I loved to swim, and took the opportunity to get some laps in as rarely did anyone swim it seemed, and usually if they are in the water, they ain't staying long...well except the porpoises and mermaids. I was in the water for nearly 2 hours, just swimming, and enjoying the view as it were of the lovely women in the pool. One of which was an Albino Ferret by the name of Calistra Belmont.

She was the ships helmsman, and I've seen her a few times in uniform but never outside of a jumpsuit and pants. The sight of her in her blue bikini made this swim worth it. I guess she had wakened me to some carnal thoughts. Thoughts I have been shielding myself from Druzilla, but would probably throw them aside for a night with her. None the less, she was in the pool for about 15 minutes before heading for the Tanning area. I continued to frolic in the water, and even field a few taunts of 'Tenderfoot' which felt a lot better than being called Homer. When I finally left the pool, I figured I might as well just wash up and get ready for supper, when by chance I walked by Druzilla and Calistra sharing a blanket in the tanning area. They seemed very happy to see me, as they both beamed as I approached. I waved to the, getting giggles in return.

"Your foot don't seem to be tender, Glenn." said Calistra. "You look like an aquatic out there in the pool."

I swore I was blushing at that moment. "I spent a lot of time at the swimming hole back at home. You seem to be a natural as well."

Calistra purred a bit as she smiled. "I hate how the water frizzes up my tail, but thank you. I have the rest of the night off, so I was wondering would you like to have a dinner date?"

I felt in a spot as I see Druzilla there. I felt like I was cheating on her, yet she was all smiles and I swear she was egging me on to say yes. It seemed like an awkward pause until I said, "Sure, give me about an hour and a half, I come to your quarters."

She seemed very pleased with that, as well as Druzilla. Me, I didn't think much about it, other than how was I'm going to make up for the cash I was going to spend on a date. None the less, I wore one of my new outfits for the first time, and actually spit shined my shoes when I went to fetch her. When I rang her door chime, I had showed up with a gift of some wine and was ready for an evening of chatting. But the door opened to reveal Calistra in a sheer teddy and robe and a very sultry smile and gaze.

"Mmm, Druzilla was right. You are punctual." she said with a distinct purr.

I was a bit confused as I said, "I...thought we were going out on a date?"

"Change of plans." she says as she grabs my left arm. "We are eating in...After you satisfy my appetite." She dragged me in to her quarters and to her bedroom. The next 4 hours you can pretty much say that my name would be known all over the ship. The only sad part, it will be Tenderfoot.