I Used To Howl Alone #3
I Used To Howl Alone #3 Before I Lost Him In the Blinding Snow These are events that actually transpired between a friend of mine, and myself. To protect the identities of the persons within, real names will not be used. November 9th, 2012 My polar bear and I started talking again, after another strained hiatus from each other. He moved away before the beginning of the new year, so we weren't roomies anymore. But it was a blessing I guess. He could be a real asshole sometimes, and a polar bear has a big ass. The worst part of the deal was that after I told him I REALLY loved him, he got scared ( I think) and let me go. I'm not his puppy dog anymore. That hurt like fuck, really. Here I am pouring out my soul for the guy, and he lets me go, to be alone with no one to care for. But I gues he didn't care about how I felt. I was the one who was scared to death to admit my feelings, and scared even moreso of him. We spoke off and on, and he even came by for a day or two at a time. This was solely for the purpose of using my internet for downloads. The dick. But this time was different, on a subconscious level I guess. Whenever we texted, I usually alluded to me suckin him off or something generally perverted. And he would stop talking to me. But lately, I just kept it professional with him, talking business or remembering good times from our golden teenage years, when we first met. Earlier that week he asked me if he could come down, and I told him sure. "What's a good dog to do Boss?" "Roll over and beg for a belly rub, that's what he's got to do!" Something clicked for me, but I didn't want to think about what he meant. We were just friends. See, I came out bisexual in August, and he told me something that ensured my friendship and admiration of this big white monster. "You being true to yourself changes nothing between us. I respect and trust you now more than ever buddy." ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
It was a long night at work that night, and I did very well to keep my thoughts from wandering to dirty places. But I texted him when I was on my breaks, and made pleasent conversation with the guy. It was uncharacteriscly warm for November, and it did its job of making Boss a sweaty and uncomfortable mess. On top of that, he also had a bad toothache. I tried to hide how bad I felt for him from myself, but I wasn't kidding myself. I still cared about the guy. After a long twelve hours, I headed home. Driving down the interstate, I occasionally realized that I was speeding. A lot. Like a bull with his nuts on fire. But I didn't let it settle. I'd get home when I got there. And he would be there. Pulling into my apartment complex's parking lot, I did my cooldown procedures. Putting the car in park, applying the parking brake, turning the radio, AC, and finally turning car off. I walked the short path to my place, and passed my window. It was dark inside. -He must be asleep... Whatever, I don't care.- I trudged up the stairs, and met one of my roomates. He was playing Halo 4, and we sat and spoke about his experience with the game, his kills, stuff he thought was funny, and things he did with our online buddies. I tore away from the conversation eventually. I was wrecked. But instead of going straight to bed, I went and got a good pair of shorts and took a thorough shower. In fact, I used a sweeter scent of AXE for my crotch and nuts, more specifically. Heh heh... I silently opened the door, and the first thing I saw was his large body jump in surprise. As he recognized me, he layed back down. And didn't say anything. "Hey man." Stillness and silence was his response. "Nice to see you too." I said, offended. The dick. With him splayed out in the darkness, I could make out a couple somethings that were very distinct. His big-ass nuts were pulled out of the bottom of one leg of his well-worn boxer briefs. "Dude..." I said as I tried to get him to at least cover up. I didn't care personally, but anyone walking through would most definitely see those, and there would be questions. He looked up at me. When he didn't move, I poked his right one lightly, so he could know that I could see them. He reluctantly(?) pulled his briefs down, and with the darkness and his clothing, they were decently hidden. I got in bed shortly after I checked out my status on a couple of comissions, and fought the urge to get a little growly with him. I splayed out myself, tail out flat, and threw my fleece blanket over me. I didn't give a fuck, I was comfortable. He still layed there. The ass. I chomped in a pouting fit and found my recreational apparatus and requirements. This big fucker wasn't making it easy for me to sleep. I went outside and lit up, fuming. About fifteen minutes of toking, I went back inside and watched a little bit of "How I Met Your Mother" with my roomie. Then sleep hit the back of my neck. I was going to bed, for real this time. I got in bed, and bared my fangs to myself. the nerve of this guy. I invite him over and he doesn't even speak to me. And then... I felt a big paw on my chest. It rubbed me softly, slowly. Then it patted me. "Aroo?" I looked to my left at him as he came to life. He got his glasses, rolled over to where he was practically on top of me, and he hugged me. "Hey buddy." I didn't know what to think! "This tooth hurts really badly, it had nothing to do with you." I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK! He then scritched my belly, but just once. "I thought you hated me or something..." I muttered. "No, not you. It just hurts that badly." And then he smiled. And I felt really bad. So I sat up, on my paws and haunches, and nosed my head under his big arm. He let me under, and I rested my head on his big chest and rode his breathing. Then he rubbed my back softly, soothingly, lovingly. I sighed, and my pain of the night prior, my fatigue, and my resentment melted away. My polar bear was home, and he missed me. "I missed you Boss." I caved. I couldn't do anything but be happy I was there in his arms once again. "I missed you too buddy." he said sweetly. It was honey to my ears. It was honey to my lonely wolven soul. We layed there like that for about thirty minutes, no joke. I nosed his shirt and lapped at his neck softly. He smiled at me warmly, and I melted. "How's the dog been?" I swallowed untill my voice stopped cracking, but I didn't speak. Not just yet. But I whined. I whined softly, and he understood it. "Did you miss your polar? Huh? Is that what's makin the big wuffy so soft?" I nodded on his chest, and he chuckled. "Aww..." he said, and I sat up tall again. "You better be careful... Not everyone here would appreciate seein those snow boulders out in the open..." He smiled and looked down at the small hill in his shorts leg. "It was hot in here! I had to keep the boys cool." He said with a slightly modest experssion. "Oh really? In that case..." I reached down and pulled his leg up, and exposed him. God damn, those things are huge. His left nut was as big as my fist, and his right one was as big as one of HIS fists. The guy's blessed. "Oh, you think you can just whip my balls out, huh?" he said with a smirk. But I didn't look at him for long. I just stared at them, mesmerized. I fought the urge to give him some gracious tongue action down there, but I didn't know what reaction that would've bred. "Okay..." he said as he slid the leg back down. I blushed in embarassment. "Sorry, I um, didn't mean to stare. They're just so BIG man!" "Yeah, yeah, my nuts are big. I know." he said with a half-smirk. "Ibetcha wanna just lick 'em, don'tcha buddy?" He was messin' with me! The dick! Without giving me a chance to respond, he got up and walked to my bathroom. I guess he had to take a leak or something. But he came back, and sat on the edge of my bed. I rested my head on his large thigh, and he placed his paw on my back. "Don't you need to get some sleep? I know you're tired." Boss asked. I shook my head, I wanted to enjoy his company.
(Just for the sake of continuity, we spoke about him staying the night with me if he took me to walmart for groceries. I didn't feel like writing about that.)
"While we're there, we could get some personal...lubricants..." Boss said. "Why?" I asked. Inless we were gonna be tame with each other and just watch some porn. "So it goes in easier!" I grinned like a fool. I asked my polar to raise my tail a couple of Halloween's back. "One day buddy, one day." He began to fidget on him computer, and I moved to keep contact, but then stood on my haunches and begged at him. "Whatcha want buddy?" he asked as he patted me with his big paws. I panted and raised my arms, so he got the idea. "You want a belly rub, huh? We're gonna be here forever if a certain wolf doen't get up... And don't think of using your boner as an excuse, I'll drag you out of bed with it." He looked stern, but smiled just the same. "Can we keep goin when we get back Boss?" I asked earnestly. He chuckled, as he was already dressed (huh?). "Yeah, yeah, we can. I know how YOU are. You won't leave me alone until I'm done. (We leave, get our stuff, and some things for him. We didn't talk on the way, except about how we should've BOTH fucked this girl in the back of his big green van.)
We got back, handed off the food stuffs, and retired to my room. I stripped to my shorts and some sweat pants. He stripped to his worn white tee, and his blue and black shorts. And we spoke about games. We layed out on my bed longways, so we could see my tv. I showcased Dust: An Elysian Tail, and Mark of the Ninja, when I happened to look over and see a familiar tent in some familiar shorts. "I LOVE how you look over NOW" Boss said with a laugh. I patted his boner, but indescision gripped me. Obviously he wanted a blowjob, but I didn't know if I should've. "What's this buddy?" I ask with a grin. He grinned back. "This, is a POLAR BEAR'S dick." he said as he pulled his shorts down and let it spring up, straight as it ever was, and thicker than I remember. Fuck it. "And whatcha want me ta do with this POLAR BEAR'S dick?" I asked him in my "hot southern accent". He looked at me and half-grinned. "Get in in yer moooouth!" he returned with a grin. I love making this big guy feel in control! My tail wagged as I gave him a sniff, and I exhaled over it, and Boss shuddered. "What if I sat on it buddy?" I asked, hoping he'd catch on fast enough. Boss shook his head with a smile. "Let's just stick with blowjobs and handjobs." I strattled him with his dick right where I wanted, but he got me back on track. "You're losin him!" And I was already wetting his shaft, making this monster shake. "Ahh... That's the stuff buddy... Just like that..." he whispered coolly. I released my "secret technique" on him, and I felt his dick twitch all the ways it did, and I broke off. "What? I'll have more later on tonight!" he pleaded with me. But I knew what I was doing. I wanted a load like what he gave me in October 2010. "I just wanna stretch this out. I like pleasin my polar." He looked defeated, but a smile returned to his face when I got after his nuts. I licked one, then the other,and even managed to get both in my mouth, much to our surprise. "Ah... aw shit..." he panted. I got off of them, and got back to the challenge of suckin off a polar bear. He had to have more. I teased with my tongue in all of the spots I knew about, I gnawed on him lightly (he likes to feel a little teeth), and I deep throated him and let him work his hips while I was at it. He pulled up a pillow and rested his head on it so he could watch me work. I got off of him for a second and licked his neck slowly. He grabbed my dick and squeezed with a smirk. I got back down south, and he closed his eyes and smiled as I gave him something I always loved to. Attention. Love. Pleasure. Release. "I'm gonna blow soon buddy..." he warned me. I nodded with him in my muzzle, and he rubbed my back as I gave him a big push over the edge. Using methods I've discovered to be a signature move, I bobbed on him and his eyes rolled back. His mouth was as far opened as it would go, and his breathing was shallow. I grabbed his paws with mine, and he fought to grip me. Here it goes... He first thrusted into my throat, but I had to hold it. I couldn't fail. He crushed my paws,and gyrated his hips slowly in and out, and then he hit me with the firing squad. When my polar bear cums, he shoots loads, not strings, not ropes, not volleys. One shot could easily outdo most guys anywhere. I gulped it down quickly, in time with his cannonade, but to empty out his nuts like that actually didn't take more than a few minutes. "Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Ah..." Thanks buddy. I beamed at him, and he held me. "Who's a good dog?" he said as he poked my nose. I settled into his fur and passed out, probably smiling. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** I woke up to find out that he'd been talking to a woman from Tyler. I didn't mind, I wanted him to find a woman to enjoy. Even if he let me suck him off as many times as he had, even if he grabs my dick and strokes me to the point I blast his checst, even if he fucks me to the point people recognize his handiwork, he's still straight enough to be with a woman. He's still straight enough to want a woman in the first place. I handled him once more before we passed out for the night, as he didn't want to sleep without the feel of my affection. The next day I had to work, and he was about to head home. I got showered, dressed, and equipped to go, but I was just going to hug my polar one more time. And he enveloped me in a hug that was his signature. And with a demonstration of his strength and delicacy, he cracked my back of all the problems my job left me with. I reached down past his gut and tried to grab his balls one more time. "No more of that..." he said. I nodded once and he fixed my shirt collar. Then, I was out the door. That following Saturday, I found out (he told me) that the two of them were in madly in love. I wasn't hurt (at first). I wasn't jealous. I was happy. I wanted him to move on and find someone that he could. He may be the one for me, and he knows it. But I'm not the one for him, and he's going to find that person who is. I mean it every time I tell him I'm happy for him. I've never felt so alone in my life.