A Guilty Conscience
A Guilty Conscience
Jeremy couldn't stay asleep. Normally nothing could wake him. When his eyes closed, they stayed that way until either his alarm sounded or he had slept at least a full ten hours. Tonight, however, he would sleep for maybe 30 minutes, or 45 at most, before tossing and turning and opening his eyes to the dark ceiling above him. He would lay there, white sheets twisted around his slender torso. They pressed tightly against his skin, distorting an otherwise attractive figure. For a moment, just as he woke, he thought he could feel something from a waking dream, but it was gone before he could even think to try and remember it. Perhaps he had been having a recurring nightmare.
But then again, there was no fear when he woke up, although with each continuous waking he felt a growing sense of unease. He turned now to check his clock. It read 3:33. He had to be up for work in only 3 hours. He rolled over, stretching out his arm to wrap around his mate, but his paw fell upon only an untouched pillow.
Now the sense of unease grew a bit, and it felt like a lump of hot coal with spidery legs had risen in his chest and was trying to creep up his throat. It wasn't the lack of Robin's presence that disturbed him, but rather that he thought, if only for a few moments, that he would be there at all. He reached up to scratch his head, and then wrapped one of his paws around the base of his long rabbit ear and slightly tugged so that his hand ran along his ear until they reach the tip, where he would let go. He repeated this motion a few times, and then remembered that Robin had always teased him about it. He had done it when he got nervous, and sometimes when out in public it could look a little odd.
It had been just under a year since Jeremy and his mate had shared a bed. The bunny had met the cat in a college class they shared. They had been partners in a physics project in which the goal was to measure the amount of friction between a variety of metal objects. Well, lets just say that the sparks flew in more ways than one.
That was three years ago. For two long years Jeremy and Robin had been the perfect couple. Aside from the class project that had brought them together, there had been little friction in their relationship. They were both very, very happy.
That was until Jeremy cheated. Robin found out, they fought, and things grew tense and uneasy between them. Eventually the cat forgave Jeremy, as he always did, and things began to get a bit better between them. But Jeremy never relinquished the guilt he felt for what he had done, and so it grew there until it ruined him. And then, to Robin's surprise, Jeremy left him.
The rabbit knew this came as a huge shock to Robin. After all, if anyone should have been doing the leaving, it should have been Robin. The relationship had ended in a huge fight. Both of them said things they wish they could take back, but Robin felt a pain and a betrayal that even harsh words could not portray.
For three weeks Jeremy slept on the couch in the living room of their Los Angeles town house. Each night the guilt that he tried to escape by leaving Robin grew. His choice had only made things worse, and he began to regret leaving him at all. With each night alone he regretted his decision more, until one night, exactly three weeks past, he pulled the blankets off his bare body and went to talk to his kitty. He still thought of him as his. It had only been three weeks, after all.
He opened the door to the bedroom and realized that the bed was empty and the bathroom door stood open.
He had to describe the following events to the police so many times that he thought he'd never forget it. Everyone blamed him. Robin's family had told him so. They wouldn't even allow him to attend the funeral.
The image of Robin's head lifeless in a bathtub full of blood colored water, a razor sitting on the tub's edge surrounded by a few stray drops of deep red blood, never left him. He had caught a glimpse of the authorities pulling the cat's naked body from the tub. It hadn't even looked like Robin. It's as if he was looking at a stranger's body.
Needless to say Jeremy still struggled with the guilt of what he had done. If he hadn't cheated, none of this would have happened.
Perhaps the nightmares he had been having tonight were about that event. Perhaps that was why he had rolled over to try and wrap his arms around a cat that had been dead for almost a year.
Jeremy sighed and pulled the sheets almost violently from his legs. He slept nude, and his body was now revealed to anyone in the adjoining buildings who wished to peer in at him. He had something of a bad habit of walking around naked and leaving the blinds open. Once he had seen a neighbor from across the street staring at him intently before bed. He was a bit embarrassed to admit that being watched turned him on.
His fur was white over his whole body, except for a gray mark on the right side of his bottom, just below a fluffy cotton tail. It was roughly shaped like a cats head, and Robin had always joked that it was a sign. Jeremy had been marked for him. The bunny smiled, remembering this.
He scratched his waste and then swung his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting up and yawning. His sheath bobbed between his legs now. He wasn't a bad size, not for a bunny anyway. He scratched again before standing, and then something caught his eye. It was outside, down the street aways. Jeremy could hardly see though the darkness. There was no moon tonight. But it was a figure, almost entirely hidden in shadow. Three, no four houses down, standing in the middle of the street. The lamp light next to where it stood was burnt out, but Jeremy was pretty sure it was looking in this direction, and while he convinced himself that it was completely irrational, the rabbit was positive the figure was watching him.
This didn't turn him on. Not one bit. The uneasiness that he had felt when he turned to wrap his arms around Robin resurfaced. Just imagining it, he told himself, it's only some homeless guy or something, and he turned from the window. He suddenly had to pee.
Sitting on the toilet, he stared at the bathroom wall, falling into something of a daze. The wallpaper blurred together and formed shapes and patterns. He must have sat there for a full five minutes before he realized that he had fallen asleep. Shaking himself back into reality, he stood up, flushed, and lowered the lid. He was still very tired, but he didn't think he'd be able to sleep for more than an hour at a time.
He went to the sink and quickly rinsed his paws, bypassing the soap. He peered at himself in the mirror for a moment, and then bent down and splashed some water in his face. Perhaps he'd grab a snack from the fridge and watch infomercials in bed. He stood up straight again, water dripping from his face and forming small beads on his whiskers, and caught a glimpse of the figure he had seen outside reflected in his mirror.
Jeremy turned around to face the open door of his bathroom. Nobody stood outside. Still dripping, he slowly stepped out the door and looked around his room. His bedroom door still stood closed. The window was closed and locked from the inside. Nobody could have gotten inside. Jeremy grabbed the base of his right ear and ran his paw along it, tugging it down beside his face until he released it and it sprang back up again.
The rabbit went back into the bathroom and dried his face off with the towel that hung on the right. The towel that hang on the left hadn't been used since Robin died. Jeremy had removed it once, but the bathroom had looked empty. It hadn't felt right, and so Jeremy put it back.
Back in the bedroom, Jeremy walked to the window and peered out. Down the street, where the broken lamp light was, there was no more figure. The lamp light flickered and turned back on. Jeremy sighed, and as he began to turn away he saw the figure again. It was across the street now, in the neighbors yard. It was the same house he had been watched from before, but then it hadn't been nearly as unsettling. And he was being watched, he had no doubt about that now. He stood beneath a tree, conveniently still covered in shadow. Jeremy came to think of it as a he now, because his shape was clearly defined. At least, defined enough to be male. A long slender tail whipped back and forth at his waste. A pair of cat ears sat upon his head.
It looks like Robin. He couldn't help the thought. It was a natural one, being as how creeped out he was and how he had only recently tried to hold on to his deceased mate in bed. He assured himself that it was not Robin, it was just a creepy guy who wanted to peek at the hot naked bunny alone in his bedroom. And anyway, if Robin really was going to decide to show up and haunt him nearly a year after he died, why would he be outside across the street?
Jeremy decided that tonight would be a good night to start leaving the blinds closed, and he did so. As soon as he closed them, he realized that not being able to see outside was even creepier than being able to see. He stood by the closed window and imagined a naked cat with slit wrists running at an inhuman speed across the street, across his lawn, and then thrusting his bloody hands through the window glass and around his neck.
But the glass remained in tact and Jeremy's neck untouched. He turned from the window and towards the kitchen. It was time for those snacks.
In the kitchen Jeremy opened the fridge, the cold air created goose bumps over his naked body. He bent a little, the cat mark on his butt becoming perkier and seeming to peer upwards as he bent at the waste. He slid open the bottom drawer and removed a couple of carrots from a bag. You and your carrots, Robin had always said, You're like bugs bunny! Jeremy smiled again. He turned around and could almost see Robin there teasing him. A wave of sadness came over him now, and for a moment he forgot about the strange figure at the window. He was just sad, and longed for Robin to be here with him again. He was so lonely.
What was he doing? He hadn't felt sorry for himself in months, and he wasn't about to start now. It was a strange night.
He closed the fridge, and at once noticed something odd. He hadn't noticed it before due to the chilled air exiting the fridge onto his body, but a draft had entered the kitchen. The left side of his body felt a bit cooler ﾃ｢竄ｬ" the same side of his body that faced his bedroom.
Jeremy stood up straight and faced his room. The door was open, like he left it. As he walked towards the door he became more certain that there was a draft coming from the bedroom, and as he looked in the entry way he saw that the blinds, now closed before his window, were shifting back and forth in a slight breeze.
Jesus Christ... Jeremy said to himself. Any amount of uneasiness and dread that had been replaced by sadness was back again, and for the first time tonight it was accompanied by fear. He quickly swept the room over with his eyes. Unless they were crouched on the opposite side of his bed, the side closest to the window, or in the bathroom, there was nobody in his room.
Jeremy entered the room cautiously, sticking close the wall as he slowly edge himself around the room. He neared the bathroom door, which stood on the same side of the room as the entrance, and looked inside. Nobody was there. The shower curtain stood open. The bathroom door was pressed against the wall so no one could be behind it.
Behind the bed then, that was the only place someone could be if someone were there at all. His bed didn't have room beneath it, so he was sure they couldn't crawl under to avoid him. Still keeping close the wall so as to give as much space between him and any intruder as possible, he moved to the wall perpendicular to his bed, and eventually far enough down so that he could see that the other side of his bed was, in fact, unoccupied.
Jeremy sighed, but did not feel relieved. The window was still open, which meant that someone had opened it. In his mind he saw Robin, pale with eyes rolled back into his skull, standing on the other side of those blinds, waiting for him to investigate.
Still, he'd have to close the window, and so if someone was standing on the other side he'd have to find out. He approached them, now standing only a foot away from the blinds as they swayed back and forth. It was only just slightly now, not enough for him see beyond them. He stared for a few moments, and then pushed them aside with his paw.
He didn't expect what he saw next. There was no figure on the other side of the glass. No Robin, no shadowy stalker. Instead, the window remained closed, just as he left it. The lock was still fastened. You spooked yourself, you silly rabbit. Jeremy let out a heavy sigh, and then let the blinds fall shut again. They swayed back and forth for just a moment, until they settled into place and finally hung still. You were just cold from the fridge, the draft came from somewhere else, or maybe there was no draft at all. It's just been a strange night.
It had been a strange night.
Jeremy climbed into bed, pulled the sheets and blankets back over his naked body, and grabbed the remote off the nightstand. He clicked on the TV, turned to FOX, and watched a few minutes of an infomercial. A ridiculously well built man and woman were selling an all in one piece of fitness equipment that probably cost an arm and a leg.
Feel more confident! Get into those pants from college you thought you'd never wear again!
The background noise, for whatever reason, helped Jeremy to relax. His eyes drooped a bit. The uneasiness he had felt before began to subside.
The All-In-One-Fitness-Machine can make you feel and look like you've never felt before. Three times a week, 15 minutes a day, is all it takes...
His lids felt heavier, his eyes closed, his TV set flickered a bit. It darkened, would go black for a few seconds, and then come back on. Jeremy didn't notice.
For only 3 easy payments of...
There was no picture on the screen now, but Jeremy was already asleep. Occasionally a few white lines or blurs would flash on screen for a second and then fade away.
...plus shipping and handling...you'll be feeling great in weeks...just like Bugs Bunny...
In the reflection of the TV, the blinds started to sway again from a small breeze. Jeremy was comfortably asleep, his head drooped to one side and touched his pillow.
...get into those pants...get out of those pants...I'm going to have you back...you can't leave me again...
Everything was dark for Jeremy, until he began to dream.
In his dream he was still in bed. Robin was there, laying next to him, close beside him. Jeremy rolled over and wrapped his arm around him. He felt safe, he wasn't scared. He didn't feel guilty, either.
Robin giggled, the way he always did, and reached a paw down to Jeremy's crotch. Jeremy smiled, feeling the cats paws resting upon his sheath, and looked into Robin's eyes. Robin smiled back.
"What's that?" the kitty said, feeling Jeremy hardening beneath his paws.
"You know I can't resist your touch," he replied, and leaned forward to kiss his kitty. Robin leaned away, however. "Uh uh uh, you didn't say the magic word." It was a line from Jurassic Park. Robin said it often to tease his mate.
"Please?" the rabbit asked, faking sincerity.
Robin giggled, "Well, since you asked so nicely." But he didn't kiss Jeremy back, instead he pulled the covers over his head and disappeared beneath them. Jeremy grinned. He thought he knew what was coming next, but he didn't.
He waited a moment, becoming harder as he waited for the cats rough tongue to caress his now exposed cock. After more than a few moments passed, he became confused.
"Sweety?" he asked, but there was no answer.
He pulled back the covers. Robin was gone, but by pulling back the sheets Jeremy had exposed both his arms. His wrists were slit, and blood poured onto the sheets. Two bright red stains lay below his paws, they looked roughly like cat heads.
Jeremy woke, sweat dripping from his forehead. This time, he remembered the dream. The TV reflected in his wide eyes. It was another infomercial now, selling another piece of miracle fitness equipment. He took in a deep breath, and lay back down on the bed. It was only a dream.
The TV clicked off.
"That's enough TV for one night, I think," Robin said, and reaching over Jeremy he placed the TV remote on the night stand.
Jeremy nearly fell out of bed. He shifted away from Robin and stared. Robin who was actually sitting in his bed. Robin who didn't look dead at all, didn't have blood stains on his wrists. Robin whose eyes were full of life.
"Sweety, are you okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost."
Jeremy's response surprised even himself. He laughed. It was a very nervous laugh, but still a laugh.
"Jeremy, what's wrong?" Robin seemed very concerned. He apparently didn't realize that he was supposed to be dead.
The bunny tried to respond, "I just... uh..." He was at a loss for words.
"What are you doing?" Robin said, "Get back over here before I come get you."
Jeremy said nothing. He seemed unable to say anything. This has to be a dream. I'm still dreaming.
Robin reached out to him, he paw touched his shoulder and gave him a little tug. The touch confirmed it. This wasn't a dream. Robin was here, touching his shoulder. He hadn't felt that touch in a year. There was something unique about it. Other guys had touched him before, but none of them felt like this. None of them felt like his kitty.
Jeremy relaxed, and let himself be pulled closer. He was confused, but as soon as Robin touched him he felt safe again. Any negative feelings, any leftover fear from the dream was gone. It was just him and his mate, together again.
Robin leaned forward and kissed him. His lips felt warm. They felt real. He was really there.
"You okay, bunny?" Robin asked him. Jeremy nodded, looking deep into Robin's eyes. He couldn't look away.
Robin leaned forward again, kissing him deeper this time. His tongue entered the bunny's mouth, and Jeremy returned the favor. They kissed each other for a long time, their bodies moving closer to each other as they did, until their tongues, arms, and legs were twisted around one another.
Sheets and blankets were kicked off, fulling exposing their nude figures which seemed to have become one. Robins tail moved over his sleek gray fur and wrapped around Jeremy's leg. Jeremy pressed his leg up into Robin's waste, pressing his thigh firmly against Robin's sheath. The cat was fully exposed, pressing up into the fur of Jeremy's thigh.
As they kissed and moved into each other, eventually they were pressed together waste to waste. The heat from their cocks passed freely back and forth as one rubbed up against the other. A bit of pre dripped from the tips of each, and then both fluids mixed together to form one.
Finally Robin pulled back from the kiss. Jeremy gasped and took a few deep breaths. How long had they been like that? He could have suffocated and wouldn't have even realized it.
The thought didn't linger long, instead he focused on Robin who had broken apart from him and began to press his lips upon the rabbit's neck. He sucked there for a bit, just hard enough to feel good, but not enough to hurt, and then moved down further. His lips trailed along Jeremy's body, moving down to his nipples were they stopped for a moment. His tongue circled them, and Jeremy let out a soft moan. He arched his chest upward, pushing it towards Robin, who then began to suck on them, and then bite them delicately. The small amount of pain was mixed with pleasure, and the bunny let out a little cry.
Robin smiled and continued sucking and biting. His paw moved down to the rabbits waste, and then wrapped around his cock. He held it firmly, and Jeremy's expression turned into one of pure ecstasy.
Robin grinned, his lips leaving Jeremy's nipples and traveling father south. They stopped at his navel, and licked around it. Jeremy giggled a little. Robin loved to lick and kiss his belly, but it always tickled and made the bunny squirm.
Jeremy wiggled a bit, giggling a little more, until the cat stopped his licking and looked up towards Jeremy, still grinning. His paw had begun to move back and forth over Jeremy's cock.
Robin surprised him by releasing his grip and suddenly placing his hands below the bunny's legs and lifting him up just slightly. The kitty moved downwards, placing his face between Jeremy's legs, and began to lick the area between his balls and his tail hole. Jeremy began to moan loudly now. It was a moan mixed with pleasure and anticipation. The bunny thought he knew where this was leading. It wasn't something that Robin did often, but it was something that turned Jeremy on like nothing else.
Robin licked there for a few more moments, making Jeremy wait, and then he moved his nose down a bit further, and moved his tongue around Jeremy's tail hole, circling it. Jeremy felt the rough kitty tongue then start to lick directly into his hole and he let out a moan of pleasure unlike any before. Robin then pushed his tongue into Jeremy, as deep as it would go. He pulled out, licked over top, and then pushed inside again.
He repeated this until Jeremy thought he would cum just from the pleasure, but then he stopped, quickly moving up and moving his ridged tongue over Jeremy's balls, up his sheath, and then onto his cock. When his tongue reached the very tip Robin plunged his mouth over top of Jeremy, taking him in all the way down to his balls in the first go. Jeremy could feel his his tip pressing against the back of Robin's throat and he felt sure he would lose it now and release his seed directly into the kitty's tummy.
But Robin knew just how much the rabbit could take and he pulled away, stopping just before Jeremy lost it. He sat up straight now, moving himself in between Jeremy's legs. He aligned himself so that his member pressed up against Jeremy's tail hole, which was still wet from the rim job, and smiled at Jeremy, who smiled back, and nodded. "Please..." Jeremy said. And so Robin did.
It had been a long time, and it hurt at first. It hurt quite a bit at first, actually. But as Robin entered him, pulled back, and then entered him again... and again... eventually the pain was replaced by pure pleasure. Jeremy moaned loudly as he was pressed farther and farther back in the bed with each consecutive thrust. Eventually his head propped against the wall, and he repositioned himself so that his shoulders leaned against the wall, and then his back.
Leaning against the wall, he could see directly into Robin's eyes now. He smiled, and Robin kissed him. They moved into each other again, as close to one another as they could get, and then Robin moved away. He placed a paw onto Jeremy's sheath and began to stroke him. The rhythm of the stroke matched that of his thrusting. Jeremy and his mate both leaned backwards, gasping. Now that Robin was pawing him, Jeremy knew it wouldn't be long.
Robin moved in and began to suckle his nipple again. He bit him, a bit harder this time, and then quite a bit harder, but Jeremy paid it no mind. The pleasure was too much. The cat then began to suck and bite at Jeremy's shoulder.
With his free paw Robin lifted Jeremy's right arm and brought his forearm to his lips. He kissed it on the underside of Jeremy's elbow, bit softly, and then ran his lips down towards Jeremy's wrists. Robin had been smiling, but now he looked a bit sad. Jeremy didn't notice. He was looking upwards, rocking back and forth, trying to make the feeling last. Trying to not to cum yet. He didn't notice Robin kiss his wrist, and then bite down. He bit hard, and broke the skin. Blood flowed from Jeremy's right wrist and began to drip onto the sheets.
A tear escaped one of Robin's eyes as he moved to the other arm. He didn't even bother starting at the shoulder this time. He lifted Jeremy's left arm, and kissed his wrist.
Jeremy felt the waves of orgasm filling him, each one bringing him closer to the end.
Blood flowed from his left wrist, cascading onto the bed, turning the sheets red beneath their bodies.
And then Robin came. Jeremy could feel it inside him, filling him. "You... you can't... leave me again..." Robin muttered in the throws of his orgasm, and Jeremy, hardly noticing his words, came as well. Cum shot into his fur, bits of it landing on his face and chest, blending in with his white fur. A few beads of cum rolled off his belly and mixed with the blood below, it swirled with it like oil in water.
Jeremy stared into Robin's eyes and smiled. Robin tried to smile back, but he couldn't help but look sad. Jeremy wondered why. He still hadn't noticed his wrists pouring blood onto the bed. But Robin was sad. His kitty was sad. Jeremy felt like it was his fault. He felt guilty, and he started to cry.
"I'm sorry, kitty, I'm sorry for everything..." Robin shook his head, as if urging him to stop talking. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I never meant for... for any of that..."
Jeremy moved his hand up to his ears, placed his paw around the base of one, and then noticed red drops splashing onto his face. He removed his paw from his ears and stared at his wrists in shock, and then he looked at Robin. His expression was that of disbelief, and he began to feel dizzy. He tried to move, to roll over, but Robin placed his paws firmly against his chest, holding him down.
Jeremy cried out, "No... no Robin I have to move," but his kitty wouldn't let him. "I have to get help. Robin I'm bleeding."
"I can't, Jeremy, I can't. I can't let you leave again." Robin said. He cried, but there was no doubt in his voice.
"I'm bleeding... I..." Jeremy could hardly speak anymore. He felt himself growing weaker, and he could no longer fight against the cat's weight.
Uh uh uh... you didn't say the magic word...
He remembered his dream, which he had forgotten until now. And then he realized what was happening, that he was here and Robin was here, which didn't make any sense, and there was blood everywhere. It was all over his chest, not just on his hands... What was going on.
...you didn't say the magic...
"Please! Robin.... please!" Jeremy shouted out, but when he looked up Robin was gone. There was no one in the room. The window stood open, the blinds were pushed aside.
He tried to move, but he was too weak. He sat there for a moment, and coughed. Blood came up, which didn't make any sense... none of it made any sense. Things began to get dark, and then Jeremy fell asleep.
"Why'd he pick this house, do you think?" the tiger in blue said, subconsciously adjusting his badge as he looked over Jeremy's body.
"He said he'd been watching him for a while," the vixen answered, "this guy walked around naked with the windows open, so this nut got obsessed and came after him."
"And then he just called and said to come here and get him?"
"Yeah, he was crying, he kept saying he was sorry. He was sorry he didn't know why he did it. Didn't mean to."
"Didn't mean to stab him in the chest six times?"
"He's insane."
"Yeah well you'd have to be."
Another man walked into the room. "Forensics is here, sir."
"Alright, send them in."
As more people came in and circled the body on the bed, Jeremy stood and watched from the corner, his paw tightly gripping Robin's. He turned and looked at Robin, who looked away, refusing to meet his eyes. Jeremy sighed. He reached up his other hand to place on his kitty's shoulder, but he stopped. He didn't want to make things worse, this was all his fault anyway.