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He had stopped moving, stopped breathing, his heart was no longer beating. She sat still on top of him, in disbelief, her own heart feeling as if it had stopped. "_No" _she said," no, no, no, no, no... " Fate can't be this cruel, you can't be dead... _Shock and disbelief racked her body, these feelings trying their hardest to keep at bay the feelings punching her in the gut; the horrid sadness and loneliness that had plagued her ever day at the lab. If those feelings took her now, she would no doubt seek death. _

"Wake up..." She said, trying to talk to him as she had just moments ago. "You can't be dead, please get up..." To no response she felt her gut tighten, in her head she started to think again and she almost told herself that he couldn't get back up, that he was dead. Panic started to set in and she tried louder, though a part of her was now already giving up. She tapped his chest with her hand, hoping to stir him, "Get up, my mate, please don't... don't die." She hummed in sadness close to his chest, hoping he would hear her.

She would go mad without him, knew it, and the part of her that hadn't given up kept fighting because of it. "Please get up, my mate, please get up..." "Don't leave me!" She said, starting to yell. "MY MATE, WAKE UP! DON"T LEAVE ME. PLEASE, I CAN'T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU!! I WON'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!! GET UP!"

*********************************

Where am I? He thought to himself, unable to see anything in the blackness he appeared to be in. It was soon after he asked himself where he was that he began to make out shapes in the darkness. Tall pillars?... No trees maybe? Yes trees. He was in the woods he deducted; as he did a cool breeze blew past him and through the trees, making a strange crooning sound as it swept through. He didn't pay it much mind as he looked up past the thin trees, seeing only blackness above. All the trees he saw now seemed to be leafless, as well he noticed that there was not a sound to be heard. It was as if everything was dead, or it was winter said that rational part of his mind. As he felt a cold chill run through him he decided it more reasonable to consider that it was winter in the woods. The reason of why he was here though still remained lost to him.

He started to walk forward without any particular sense of direction, making the ground crunch beneath him. Looking down he saw that the ground was devoid of grass and seemed to just be cold dirt. Looking back up he saw ahead of him a light in the distance, through the trees. Strange though he thought, that he hadn't seen it earlier. He walked to it, passing by the strangely conformist trees, all of them seeming to be exactly the same the more he noticed them. He ignored it though; maybe it was just dark he figured.

Now standing on the edge of small clearing he could see the campsite and it suddenly struck in his mind that perhaps he was camping. He had only twice gone camping when he was young both times with his uncle; the first time had been after his mother died and his father had been very depressed. When his father committed suicide about a year later his uncle had taken him once more for a weekend fishing trip in the quiet mountains. His uncle was a kind man, caring greatly for his family and tried to help him through the horrors life had thrown at him.

But now though he couldn't remember why he was in the woods camping; had it been just a leisurely retreat from life by himself? Was his uncle here perhaps? The campsite had two tents. This is terrible, he thought. He couldn't remember anything recent; he didn't drink, so maybe he hit his head? He scanned the campsite a moment before coming closer, acting cautious because of his dis remembrance. The campfire in the center of the campsite was still burning as if with fresh logs, meaning he couldn't have gone to get firewood. The fire illuminated the campsite, giving the tents a slight glow and showing a long thick log near the fire for sitting. The fire also lit most of the clearing fairly well, though it failed to show him his uncle; meaning he would be asleep in his tent.

Taking a step into the clearing he gasped in surprise as something caught on his foot and he fell forward onto the ground; landing mainly on his chest which didn't hurt so much as feel like it had taken the wind out of him, but he wasn't gasping for breath after strangely. Getting back onto his feet he took steady steps towards the fire in the center, the crunch of the ground beneath him lessoning as he closed in on the warmth; He felt the warmth of the fires light on himself as well, beginning in his legs and working its way up, slowly coming over him. As he slowly made his way closer he saw movement in one of the tents, making him stop. He watched as a man stepped out of the tent, followed by a woman. The man wasn't very distinguishable from the distance but he could see the long black flowing hair of the woman behind him. His mother had hair like that... Suddenly it seemed as if the fire was burning brighter and he could see more clearly the peoples features. He felt his heart catch in his throat at the realization. His mother and father were standing next to the tent, they appeared to be looking at him; probably wondering what he was doing so far from camp. He stood where he was though, disbelief and shocking making his chest feel tight.

"Eric?" He heard, his father was calling to him. "What are you doing over there?"

"Come on back, Airy, you're too close to those dark woods." His mother called out to him, using his nickname that she only ever used when she was worried; or if he had done something stupid she would call him Air head, poking fun at him with the first syllable in his name. It was only ever funny when she did though. The sound of her voice, though probably nothing spectacular was so soft and kind to his ears.

He wanted to say something back but found his words catching in his throat. He was confused and stared in disbelief at his somehow not dead parents. A childish part of him though, tried hard not to rationalize the situation and wanted just to run to them. But right now it felt like there was lead in his boots keeping him in spot.

"Eric... who is that with you?" He heard his father call out, he sounded worried to. When Eric stayed looking at his parents, still in disbelief and confusion his father lifted his arm, seemingly pointing at Eric. It took a barely a second for Eric to realize that according to his father there was someone behind him; in quick movement Eric turned to face whatever it was. Fear and instinct made him jump back and consequently fall on his ass as he turned and saw that what was behind him was almost right behind him, nearly touching him. It seemed to be a shadow but it was to solid looking, and it was not a shadow like he had ever seen. It seemed to move in gestures of expression the moment he jumped back from it. Suddenly he heard it.

"Stop." He heard from it, but not from his ears; the voice seemed to be talking in his head. The only way to possibly explain how the voice sounded was to take a man and give him a snakes accent, if you can imagine it, and ask him to talk to you with a thin cloth over his mouth, slightly muffling him; yeah that sounds about right.

Eric turned his head quickly to look to his parents, partially hoping that his father was coming to help him. Both his parents seemed to be panicking and trying to come over to him, but yet they seemed to not be getting any closer. He turned back towards the shadow that was still watching him, perhaps trying to look into his soul. Keeping his eyes on the creature he started inching back, sliding on his bottom in the dirt.

"Stop it, you fool!" He heard in his head, he didn't stop, and looking back he could see that his inching back was getting him closer to his worried parents.

"Why do you insist on dying?" The shadow said, "I take full responsibility for bringing you to deaths door, but you can still live. You needn't spite me by killing us both."

"You tried to kill me?" He asked the shadow not stopping

"No, I tried to take your body from you when I saw a good chance." The shadow said. "You resisted fiercely, perhaps without realizing it. Your entire body rejected me till it was too much and your heart stopped. I see now that trying to take your entirety all at once will not work."

Hearing the shadow he stopped inching back, he had heard the words it spoke into his mind, yet they made absolutely no sense. What had it tried doing to him? He was dead?

"Yes, you are dead. Your heart stopped when you stepped into the light. But you have not reached its source yet, so to speak. You can still come back from this, you have the will, you just have to use it."

For reasons he wasn't sure of himself he started to look around, re-assessing the situation he was in. It did seem dream like, but that could just be the dark, this thing had even admitted to trying to kill him; maybe he had met it in the woods and was trying to escape from it.

"So damningly stubborn; do you even remember how you got here? Have you forgotten everything?... Have you even forgot about her?" The shadow said to him, sounding distressed.

"Forget who?" He asked the shadow, for some reason feeling annoyed. "What are you talking about?" He said. Un gracefully he got off his butt and back on his feet to face this shadow. He wasn't sure why but a part of him felt defensive the moment he mentioned a "her"; whoever this her was he didn't know, but maybe his mother?

"Your mother is dead." The shadow said into his mind plainly, "I mean her."

Still looking at the shadow he saw it start to change, its head stretching long and from its back he could see a long tail emerging. The shadow kept changing until it had assumed a new fixed shape. It still seemed to be plain and featureless, like a silhouette. Its shape, though strange and alien seemed very familiar. He looked at it closely, and feeling something funny in him he went over to the shadow and touched it.

In that moment he saw in front of him the entirety of the object it was trying to show him in all of her beauty. He remembered now, the strange alien creature that he had nursed back to health and how it had rewarded him with companionship in his lonely life. He saw for a flash second in his mind the relationship that had developed between them and that night they had spent together. Xerah, a name he had only recently learned.

He remembered now what had happened, he had asked her how long she had been in the lab and she had not answered. Instead she had lowered her head as if in thought, and patiently he waited, but instead of a answer he was suddenly barraged by what must have been memories. He learned what those evil nerdy bastards had done to her; to his friend, his lover. What they had done to his mate. Then he remembered a painful tightening in his muscles and then falling, he couldn't remember anything else though.

He looked back to campsite and saw his parents no longer trying to reach him, instead his father was desperately gesturing for him to come to them. His mother seemed to be calling to him, her hands to her mouth, but he could no longer hear either of them. He had stepped away from them when he had gone to touch... what was it he had touched? When he had touched it, and remembered everything, the shadow had suddenly been thrown back to the very edge of the clearing.

He was looking at the shadow, now in its original shape of near shapelessness, barely resembling a man's shadow. He stepped toward it. "Where am I?" He asked it

"As I said, you are at deaths door." The shadow whispered into his head with its strange voice.

As he spoke to him then a strong breeze seemed to roll in from now where and with it, it seemed to carry a voice. My mate, please don't... don't die. it whispered as it swept past. He was strangely not surprised by the whispering wind, instead he was saddened by it. He knew the voice, even as it floated on the wind and it sounded heart wrenchingly sad in his ears. She sounded scared and sad, her whimpering making its way into her words. He knew he was hurting her by being dead.

Many times he had contemplated dying, he had thought of what it might be like to just not be; to stop worrying about life, to stop trying and just rest without any more sadness or regret. He had never had anyone close in his life besides his uncle; so if his story did end too soon, almost no one would notice. He had gotten some strange content in that, knowing that he would not be missed and he would be hurting no one. But now...

He looked back towards his parents and felt some urge to just walk towards them. He knew that would be the end and he would not be able to return. But in that moment he heard again on the wind, Don't leave me! The voice was stronger than the whisper in the wind, it sounded as if she could be not far outside the clearing.

He turned to the voice, knowing in his heart of hearts that he must go to the voice, to comfort her. He turned one last time to his mother and father; he could see that they had stopped their beckoning to him. His mother had her hands on her face, she was crying and his father seemed slouched over in sadness, but comforting his mother.

He walked forward purposefully towards the darkness that was the edge of the clearing, feeling again like his boots were made of lead. In his ear though he heard from behind him, something that made his gut clench and he pulled his shoulders forward, trying not to cry.

"I love you. I didn't get to say it the night before I left but I do." He heard from his mother, her voice weak and almost choking from her crying.

"I know..." He said weakly, keeping his back turned. He felt his eyes well with tears as he remembered that awful night; his mother had left to work and became the sole casualty of a horrible traffic accident on the way to work a late shift. She had left him with his father and together him and his dad had their last night enjoying each other's company.

He had known in his heart as a child that his father blamed him partially for his mother dying. His father worked long and hard but it wasn't always enough to support the three of them; mainly because of all the expensive hospital bills Eric had given them by being a very sick child. His mother had gotten a job shortly after he was finally healthy to help pay the bills.

"No!" He heard from his father, he sounded as if he was close behind him. "I didn't blame you." He said, he sounded like he was going to cry as well.

"But... it's my fault that..."

"NO. It is not your fault. We both love you so much... " His father tried hard to keep his voice steady in his sadness . " We were so scared when you were in the hospital... When you finally got better we were so in debt to them that we wouldn't have been able to come back. Even if you started getting sick again, those.. bastards wouldn't have let us admit you. Not until those bills were paid." His father said. Eric... I'm so sorry for leaving you." Eric still had his back turned, and was looking at the ground, but he knew that his father was crying behind him.

"They are trying to trick you into staying, they are not your parents; they are deaths tendrils." The shadow said to him.

Sucking in breath, Eric lifted his head and let his tears flow freely down his face. "I can't stay." He said, trying to keep his voice calm. Trying to focus on Xerah, he looked forward and began trudging forward once more to the wall of darkness that was the clearings edge; the trees just barely visible further inside.

"That's okay, Eric." He heard his father say, his voice slightly hoarse from crying.

"You shouldn't keep a lady waiting." His mother said, making him stop for a moment as he comprehended that she was saying he should go. He started moving forward with renewed strength towards the wall nearly there. The shadow was only a few feet to his right as he was nearly out of the clearing. He stopped though as he heard his parents for the last time.

"Live happily, Eric. If she makes you happy then don't let her go. "

His throat clenched and he balled his hands into fists as he looked to the shadow. The shadow looked to him and seemed unsure of what was happening; definitely unsure of why "deaths tendrils" would be encouraging him to live. There might have been a reasonable psychological answer, but the shadow said nothing.

"I love you." He said, he was crying and full of mixed feelings but he knew what he had to do. He kicked into the dirt as he ran towards the wall of darkness.

As he was right barely more than a meter from the wall, he suddenly saw black hands in front of his face as if someone was reaching from behind him; the hands suddenly plunged their fingers into his eyes, stabbing into them. He heard then the voice of the shadow. "Piece by piece it will have to be."

He stumbled in the pain that was shooting through his eyes and head, and he heard her once more Xerah's voice. "MY MATE, WAKE UP! DON"T LEAVE ME. PLEASE, I CAN'T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU!! I WON'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!! GET UP!" Getting himself onto his feet he crudely sprinted to the wall. Unable to see anything anymore but certain in his direction

He had been expecting to just be running into darkness but as he hit the almost physical looking wall of dark he felt like he had just run through a brick wall. It hit him strongest in the chest, feeling like a he had been hit with a bat right over his heart. ..

He suddenly felt weight on his middle and chest and heard in his head. "Eric!" He could hear her scree happily. His whole body was sore and he felt like he had spent a week awake but he managed to open his eyes, but saw nothing. He closed his eyes and opened them again. "Xerah, please... my eyes, are they open." He asked, fear in his voice.

She was humming and trying to be as close to her mate as possible but she obviously could hear his worry and so she focused her vision on his eyes. "My mate," She said. "Your eyes are open, but... "

"What?" He said, bringing his hand up to his face and feeling that his eyes were definitely open, yet he could see nothing but black. He could hear Xerahs humming, feel the warmth and humidity of the air, even smell steak he had just cooked; but he couldn't see

"Your eyes are not as they were when you woke, they are black, love.. But you are alive, I was so scared, Eric..."

"Black!? I can't see. Oh god, I can't see." He said, he felt so tired then, he started to faint; or maybe he was just falling asleep.