FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

I clicked on the TV and hopped on the couch and Raia glared at me.

"And just where am I supposed to sit?" She asked. Given, I was taking up the whole couch, but that didn't mean she didn't have a place to sit.

I simply gestured down my body, grinning like an idiot.

She took me up on the offer, to my surprise, and planted herself on my stomach.

"For someone who wants to move slowly in a relationship," She said, shifting on top of me, "You sure are an incorrigible flirt."

"Yeah, well..." I said. "You're one to talk, wiggling on top of me like this."

I turned my head and let my eyes rest on the TV, just relaxing. At some point, my hands came up and wrapped over Raia's stomach, which earned me a lick to the face, which I enjoyed a bit too much.

A bit later, we were still there, watching a movie now, but she wouldn't stop shifting around. Unfortunately for me, she was putting pressure and friction in just the right places.

"What the hell is that?" She asked.

"Uh... what?" I said, trying to sound innocent.

"Something is poking me in the ass."

I remained silent, unable to think of any excuse.

"It's you, isn't it?"

"Uh..."

"Right then." She said, rolling just wrong, bending "me" over myself.

"Ow! Shit, that hurts!" She shifted again.

"Control yourself better then."

"You're mean." I said, pouting like a child.

"Yeah, well..."

"You know, as much as I love the sarcasm," I said, feeling I was treading ice. "Could you not be so mocking? I mean, damn, you keep stealing all the shit I say."

She sat up and I pulled my legs from underneath her. She sort of... bit her lip and started speaking kind of flirty, the way women do when they're trying to work a guy over.

"Maybe I should talk like this, then." She let a sultry tone overtake her voice.

My expression fell. "Don't." I said in as monotone of a voice as possible.

"Why?" She dragged the syllable out and started to press up against me.

"Because," I said, tone unwavering as I tried to shift from her. "I said don't."

"Hmm." She hummed, the tone coming through it. "Am I making you nervous?"

I didn't respond. She kept pressing into me, and I tried to remain stoic, but soon I lost my patience.

I stood up and walked to the front door and pulled on my hoodie.

"What are you doing?" She asked. I didn't respond, just walked through the door and never stopped moving.

(Break)

It was raining, hard. Visibility was shit, but I didn't mind, I'd have rather not been seen. Tears rolled down my face, but they were invisible through the rain. I was soaked, wet to the marrow, but I didn't care. I just kept walking, didn't know, didn't care_where I went. My thoughts raced, but my brain felt sluggish, like it was running in place; moving fast and getting nowhere. I hated this. Despite what I thought, the similarities were there. I had to question, was she created for me, or created _from me?

I knew she was following me. I doubt she knew of my silent tears. I doubt she knew what she did. I don't doubt she'd feel bad. I doubted she'd ever stop me. So, like before, I made the move; I stopped myself.

I must have looked strange, just standing there in the rain, but before long, I felt my body swept from the street. I found myself under a tree, just large enough to divert the torrent. Raia appeared pissed, but her expression changed. She saw my tears, I knew it, and I knew she'd ask.

"What's wrong?" She said, sternly, as she took hold of my shoulders.

I wanted to dodge the question. I wanted to lie. But I didn't. "So much." That was the most truth I could bear.

She looked as if she'd speak again, so I cut her off. I took hold of her sides, pulled her into me and wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could, letting the tears flow, as they never did.

We leaned against the tree, standing, with her stroking my hair despite me towering over her. Towering, yeah, I felt real big. I was tiny in my mind, in reality as I cried like a child. I was the one who was supposed to comfort. I was the one who had to stay strong. But this was a break in me, a break that never fused back right.

I can't really say how long we were there. I doubt it was much more than ten minutes, because eventually I broke from her embrace and looked her in the eyes, tears glazing over mine, as I searched for something to say.

She didn't let me though, she decided to initiate. "Caleb, what's wrong? Please, just tell me. I want to help you, but I don't know what to do."

I sighed. "Alright." I said, sitting on the surprisingly dry ground. "Sit down. I have a story to tell you."

She sat, but a worried expression came over her which refused to leave.

(Break)

I'd like to think that I'm a nice guy. Maybe a bit out there, I get a bit crazy occasionally, but I've been told I'm a good person. I've never been friends with a lot of people, though, and it's my fault. I never talk to anyone. Those I do, people who are somewhat like me, pretty quiet, seem to like me, but there's a fairly large, glaring exception. Girls.

Yes, I am, to put it in my favorite terms, "One lonely bastard". I've meet only a few girls who act decent to me, only two of which I really tried to start a relationship with. The first was an utter failure, I was turned down and given a crappy excuse. No scorn carried, I got over it. The second was a lot more messy.

She was a friend of a friend, sounds like I was set up, and I was, in a way. The catch was that she was in a relationship. She was taken, but I was told by a couple of people, conveniently a couple themselves, that she liked me in a "more-than-friends" way when I expressed similar feelings toward her, but not to her. I, like always, was content to suffer as a result of my inability to initiate, but this time it wasn't my choice. I was told, forced really, to talk to her, become friends. We did and we talked. I was somewhat hopeful.

But then, I saw the noose around my feet. She asked me if I had feelings for anyone at the time, and I froze. I went crazy in my head, but trudged on. I told her I did, for her. She was surprised, and we both lost it, knowing she couldn't reciprocate, even though she wanted to. She was told I liked her by one of our mutual friends, who laid the aforementioned noose around my feet, leaving this girl to pull the rope.

We became close. I was stupid, I was too close. I began to love her, and she tried her best to imply she did without saying it, to avoid infidelity in her mind. It was bliss and heartbreak every day. I should have left, she should have too. If she'd cared about me, she'd have never let it happen. Eventually, I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I told her we had to stop. It wasn't fair to either of us. So, I ended it. It hurt, but I knew it was right. Nothing good can come from such lies.

She told me, the night I told her I liked her, to prove it.

"How?" I asked.

"Kiss me."

"I can't. I-I... I just can't."

She said she understood. It was hard. She knew. She understood. But boundaries were never her forte. She liked to tease me, speak and act like a temptress to get under my skin. I hated how well she could screw with me.

"Don't you like it when I talk like this?" She said as I sat silent, gulping air down my throat in an attempt to control myself.

"No..." I choked out.

"Why?" She kept on, "Does it make you nervous?"

(Break)

The rain kept pouring down, harder and harder. Raia looked totally shocked. She shouldn't have to trouble herself over this, it's my fault I'm not over it.

"It's not your fault." I said, solemn. "I should be over it by now."

"No," She choked, tears flowing down the slicked fur under her eyes. "I care about you. I want you to be happy. But I don't want to leave you. I can change. She wasn't willing to."

"No." I said "She wasn't. She was selfish. I really doubt she ever cared."

Raia sniffled through her tears, as did I. I pulled her in. This is where I was comfortable. Me keeping her happy.

"All I want," she said, "is for you to be happy."

I smiled as silver haze came around my vision. "Come on, Raia. Let's go home."

(Break)

We re-entered the house, soaking wet. I went to the bathroom and stripped off my hoodie and jeans, grabbing dry clothes and a towel. When I returned, I saw Raia standing on the tile of the entryway, a large puddle forming around her feet. I smiled, admiring how she looked.

"You know," I said, walking over, "You're pretty cute when you're waterlogged." She didn't respond, just moved her arm over my head before squeezing the fur of her forearm with the other hand, raining water over me. I managed to get the towel up to catch most of the water, but she actually got my hair wetter than it already was.

"Just dry me off." She said. I should have just handed her the towel, but I opted for drying her off myself, as she requested. I took the towel in both hands and began to briskly rub her all over, starting from the arms, not unlike how I had used to with my golden retriever. The fur, though dry, began to fluff up as I worked my way around her. I got to her face, which I gently fluffed, rather than the brisk treatment I'd given her arms and shoulders. I worked around her stomach, enjoying the feel of the firm muscle underneath. From there, I worked farther down, but I paused just as I finished her stomach.

"Why did you stop?" She asked.

"Erm..." I was trying to find an "eloquent" way to word my predicament. "Well... you see... I kinda have to... uh..."

She followed my gaze and flushed red enough for me to see through her fur. "Oh."

"Yeah... so I should just..."

"Just go slow." She said. My jaw dropped a bit.

"I-if you say so." I stuttered a bit.

I fluffed down her flanks and around her paws and ankles. Easy part's over.

I sighed, opting to take the most "natural" route possible to not seem a pervert. I reached for her tail and grabbed it, squeezing out some water. I began to fluff it from the end with the towel, working down to the base. I decided to try to make quick work of her ass, rubbing it somewhat roughly, which unfortunately forced a noise out of her the likes of which made both of us uncomfortable.

The noise, which I refuse to describe in more detail than that, reminded me she wanted me to go slow. Goddamn it, I've never done this before! I thought.

I started from the knee and worked up the inner thigh, resulting in more noises from her. It might make me seem a bit weird, to be uncomfortable, but I guarantee you any guy who says he wouldn't be is talking a bigger game than he's got. Finished with one side, I started and finished the other. Now... the last bit, I remember thinking. I once again abandoned her request for a slow pace, quickly fluffing up between her legs, resulting in a visible shudder from her.

Now finished with my _infinitely_uncomfortable task, I draped the towel on a nearby rack and turned back to Raia. Who had the look of a tiger eyeing a piece of meat blazing wildly in both eyes.

"Oh crap." I ever-so-wisely uttered, before she tackled me. Looking back, I'm really glad I dried her off. It'd been a hell of a mess if I hadn't.