FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

My mind felt numb, unthinking, but my body was quite the contrast. Somehow, despite a severe lack of experience, I began to react to Renamon autonomously. She lay on top of me and pressed her muzzle to my face and I pressed back. My arms came around her slender midsection and I held her form tight to me. This was different for me, different from Raia, despite all the perceived similarities. Renamon seemed to have some knowledge, whereas Raia had been almost as green as I was in respect to romance. Renamon was leading here though, a situation I was somewhat accustomed to, given how the few times I had gotten romantic with someone, they had lead by example.

A large paw came up to my face and drifted back behind my head, giving her more leverage to work with. A knee came up to my waist and a leg was pushed beneath mine, effectively entangling us. Renamon's tongue pressed to my lips and they opened. Her tongue was rough against mine, a strange yet exhilarating sensation as it darted around my mouth, across my teeth, and against my own tongue. Through all of this, my body reacted in the usual way, and an erection mounted. Renamon, thankfully, in retrospect, ignored it and continued to assuage my other needs.

My hands began to drift along her lithe form, my fingers gliding smoothly through the sea of fur that covered her. I noticed certain regions, like the undersides of her arms, the area opposite the shoulders, and beneath her mane, around where her breasts would form, had finer, softer fur, where other areas, like down her lower back and along her neck, the fur was thicker and more slicked.

I'm not entirely sure how long we lay there, in a woven embrace and sharing a kiss, but eventually, the kiss was broken and I felt sorrow emanate from my core as I was filled with memories of Raia. We remained entwined and I pressed my face into the crook of Renamon's neck as tears welled once more.

"You can try to be her, but we both know you can't do it." I said as the first tears broke free and slid down my skin. "Even if you replace her romantically, you have a tamer, and I'm not one anymore." As if to prove my point, I retrieved my digivice from my pocket and saw the screen was shattered. I tried to turn it on, but it wouldn't wake. Disappointed at a last hope, I dropped it onto the couch and began to really cry.

"I'm not so sure. Rika seems dead set on her hatred of digimon."

"She'll come around. I know she will." I sighed, trying to keep my voice stable. "She really does care about you."

"How would you know?" I heard a crack in Renamon's normally level tone. Damn it, now I'd gotten _her_worked up.

"I'd eat dirt before I'd let Renamon become what you are. A monster." I quoted, tightening the embrace slightly. "She said that to that piece of shit when he was trying to convince her to be his tamer. She cares."

There was silence for a time, and it was surprisingly comfortable. I could feel how Renamon and I needed each other. She needed reassurance and I just needed someone. I knew the silence had to be broken, though. It was comfortable because it needed to be stopped, because we weren't saying any of the difficult things that had to be said.

I sighed. "If you need, I can help you become stronger in the interim. Rika will come back the light after some time, but you'll need to keep fighting."

Renamon held me tighter. "I think... I..."

"Shh." I said, stroking her back. "Just sleep. We need to rest, and we'll talk in the morning."

(Break)

My eyes flicked open as the morning light came upon them, and my movement woke Renamon. I smiled softly, basically forced to look her in the ice blue eyes.

"Morning." I said, giving her a squeeze, as we were still entangled. "So, do I make a comfortable bed?"

She smiled and I think I saw some blush, but I could never be sure. "I'm sorry, about last night."

"No problem, really. I definitely didn't mind." I began to loose myself from her. "So, I said we'd talk about "it" in the morning. What do we need to talk about?"

By this point, we were separated and she'd scooted a bit away to give me space. "Well, Rika doesn't seem to want me around." She said, her eyes taking on a look of sadness.

"You'll stay here." I said, my voice disallowing even slight defiance. "Rika will come back around, but it will be a few days. In that time, you can stay with me, and I can train with you."

She looked at me with hope in her eyes. Goddamn it, what have I started? I banished the heresy, knowing I felt an obligation to help, and that's what I intended to do. I heard her whisper something, "thank you" I think, but I couldn't be certain. She pulled me into an embrace and I returned it.

"Well," I said standing. "I guess I'm proving the old saying right. 'Those who can't, teach.'" I smiled and lead Renamon to area outside, in what you could call the backyard, although it wasn't much of one. I set up a beam and brought several bottles from inside the house out and set them equal distance apart.

"What are you doing?" She asked, puzzled. I ignored her question and pulled out my knife as I walked to a nearby tree. It was a large, thick-trunked tree, and I used my knife to carve a large 'X' in it at about my chest level.

Finished, I turned to her and answered. "We are training. Here's what you're going to do. Those bottles, I want you to use single shards from your Diamond Storm to snipe them from a distance." I gestured out into the "backyard", which was little more than an alleyway that was gated off from the house.

"And the tree?"

"You're going to try to increase the size of your shards, and this tree will be your target." I said. "Not much, but it will help." I started walking down the alley, going as far as I could while maintaining a clear shot, and gestured for her to follow.

(Break)

A crack broke the intense silence of the empty streets. Then another. I grinned.

"Deadeye." I said, patting Renamon on the back. "You've gotten good over the past few days." I walked with her down the alley and she wove her paw into my hand. She'd been getting somewhat romantic with me over the course of the week or so we'd been training, and given the recent loss, I wasn't against it.

We reached the tree and Renamon fired off a crystal as thick as my arm and pierced the tree. I walked over to it and yanked it out of the tree.

"Damn, the largest yet." I turned to her and waved the crystal as evidence. "I think you're ready for a fight." She smiled and embraced me tight.

"Thank you."

"Hell, I didn't do anything, it's all you." I said, smiling and proud of her. "Come on, it's getting dark, and I'm tired."

I walked with her all the way to my room and stopped at the door. She looked back and frowned slightly.

"Will please come here?" She asked, obviously unhappy. I'd been making her sleep in my bed while I took the couch so that we wouldn't do anything stupid.

I sighed. "You know what? Alright. You've earned it." I walked to the bed and sat down on it. "But nothing funny alright? I don't trust myself."

She smiled as I slid into the bed. "After my display out there, you dare think I don't have control?"

I pulled the sheets over myself and her. "It's not you I don't trust." I said, burying my head in the pillow and drifting to sleep.

(Break)

I was swimming in an inky black, dark light breaking through weak spots. I felt no fear, but I sure as hell wasn't comfortable. A chuckle roared throughout the space, dominating every inch. I looked around for a source, seriously doubting I'd find one.

"Who's here?" I asked, feeling a bit stupid as I thought I'd receive no answer.

"I am." Raia was suddenly in front of me, her limbs disappearing into the darkness as if she were fused to it.

"Raia!" I called out in surprise. "You're alive?"

"You abandoned me." She said, her voice slightly distorting. "You abandoned me!"

"What the hell are you talking about!? You're dead! Or you were!"

"You abandoned me!" Her voice corrupted with distortion until she began to sound like the laughing voice.

"No, I didn't!"

"You abandoned me, just like I knew you would!" Her voice cut the air and felt like it was shattering me.

"What do you mean?" I screamed, trying to make my voice heard over the boom of hers echoing.

"You left! You gave me no chance!" I started to see what was happening.

"No! You died! I didn't leave you! I still love you!"

She laughed, nigh shattering my eardrums. "You left me like any other! I was vulnerable and you abandoned me!"

"No!" I screamed, "I lost you! I still love you!"

Horns shot from her skull and blood flowed from her mouth as she laughed. I began to struggle, suddenly feeling restricted.

"Let me out!" I screamed, and shot up, my eyes snapping open.

I looked around, seeing the bedroom. Renamon was in front of me and had me by the shoulders.

"Are you alright?" She said, clearly shaken.

I brought a hand to my face and tried to clear my head. "Ugh... I think so."

"You were having a nightmare." She said and started stroking my back.

"No, I wasn't." I said, looking up to her. "I don't have nightmares anymore."

"What do you mean? Everyone has nightmares."

I shook my head. "No, this wasn't a nightmare. Nothing my mind makes up can do that. Someone got into my head."

"What was happening?" Renamon asked, embracing me lightly. "Can you talk about it?"

"Yeah. It was Raia." A sharp intake of breath could be heard. We hadn't talked about Raia since she'd died. It didn't bother me though. I don't mourn for long. "She kept saying I'd abandoned her. That's the thing. Someone has to be trying to get to me."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't feel guilt about this." I said, gesturing between me and her. "I miss her immensely, I wish she could come back, but I know she can't. I can't let memories of her keep me from forming new ones. I've learned that already."

"How can you say that? I thought you loved her!" She said, shocked by what I'd said.

"Because, I know that if I spend my time grieving and not moving on, I'll get nowhere!" I said, tears beginning to spring to my eyes. "Don't doubt for a minute that I miss her! But you and I avenged her death! She and I wanted the other to be happy, and if I sit around crying about it, I can't progress with you!"

Renamon was in tears and I felt like such shit by this point. "What is it that we have?" She said quietly, tears wetting the fur beneath her eyes.

"Renamon, I... I think..." I said leaning toward her, and I began to press my mouth to hers. She pushed back and we let what would happen, happen. I pressed my lips to hers and held her tightly. After a moment, I broke contact and spoke again. "I think I love you."

Her eyes filled with tears again and she pushed her face into mine once more. "I do too." We pulled into each other, embracing and kissing deeply.

I have no idea what time I'd woken up at, but we feel asleep again and I certainly slept more pleasantly the second time around.