FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Story Idea - Trust

By Jonathan McDevitt

Aqua shoved his physics test in his pack and took another swig of his third lager. He refocused his eyes on the television; commercial about condoms. He quickly looked away. Like he needed that reminder. His grey tail - normally curled into his back - hung limp over the bar stool he sat on. The varied odours of the university bar wafted into his nose, and he crinkled as he smelled the acrid stink of a smoker outside a nearby window. Idiots, he thought. Didn't they know that those things caused cancer? What would be the point of being in school if you died before you finished it? Idiots.

Fifty-seven percent. Fifty-seven. He'd been working his tail off studying, and even tried to take his father's stupid advice by not trying so hard at the pool and harder at the library. The way his father shouted... He wasn't going to get off of academic probation with a fifty seven. At this rate he'd be expelled. Well, he figured, worry about that tomorrow. It's too late tonight, and I wanna get smashed. Another swig blurred his father's face, and another erased it entirely.

Aqua had downed the last of his lager and raised a claw for the barkeep - maybe something stronger now that he'd decided to get smashed - but a brown webbed paw grabbed his wrist. Aqua turned his ice blue eyes up to look into the green eyes of his roommate and best friend, Kyle. Those green eyes, so pretty, big like his frown. Aqua hiccupped.

Kyle looked at the barkeep and asked for Aqua's tab. The barkeep brought it over and Kyle pulled a five and a toonie out of his pocket, and gave it to the barkeep. Aqua heard Kyle say "Keep the change for putting up with him," but he wasn't really paying attention. Instead, he was getting angry.

"Whaddid you do that for?" Aqua mumbled. He wasn't drunk, not yet, but he was buzzed enough. "That's my tab, not yours. Hey Jimmy, geback here and let me pay ya proper."

"Come on," Kyle said, placing another paw about his left shoulder. "Let's get back home. You've had enough for tonight." Aqua tried to pull back, but Kyle was determined. "Now, Blue, or you're gonna feel like crap in the morning."

"Yeah, maybe I wanna feel like crap. Stupid tests are driving me insane, I just wanna get off probation."

Kyle pulled him up and stared at him. "And drinking yourself into a coma will do that, will it? Come on, let's get you home to sleep it off. Night, Jim." The wolf at the bar waved back absentmindedly as Kyle grabbed Aqua's backpack and its owner, dragging them both to the door.

* * *

Kyle flashed the card over the black lock on their dormitory door, and the lock clicked open. He pushed Aqua in and shut the door behind him. He heard Aqua mutter venomously as they both slipped off their shoes and he lead Aqua into their shared room. Aqua dropped back-first onto his bed while Kyle sat down on his own. He leaned forward and spread out his arms wide. "Now," the otter said, "You wanna tell me what that was all about? Didn't even leave a note saying, 'Hey Kyle, gone to the pub, be out late, probably gonna get smashed so hard I won't even feel my toes.'" When the husky just huffed, Kyle frowned in irritation. "Come on, Awk! You know I'm all for a good time, but drowning your sorrows is a dip move. It ain't gonna get you back on track, and they'll take away your scholarship if you keep it up."

"Yeah, I know," Aqua muttered. He lifted his head and craned his neck to glower at Kyle. "Where do you get off bein' my mom anyways?"

"I'm not your mom, I'm your best friend. You think that means I shouldn't care?" Aqua huffed and his head fell back into the pillow. "Come on, man," Kyle pressed, "Why not work off the stress at the pool?"

"You know why," Aqua said. "Besides, all it does is tease me. Never gonna have a chance at the team if that coach has any say in it; stupid specist. Who says that huskies can't swim like other aquatics?"

Kyle sighed. "We've been through this before, Awk, we're not gonna go through it again. Besides, I don't think that's why you were there. You can tell me, and I ain't gonna judge you on it. Trust me, please?"

Aqua levered himself up on his elbows. He could smell it with his husky nose: the smell that came with worry. His eyes met Kyle's - still green, and pleading with him - and he caved. He sat up and leaned on his knees, staring at the floor between his socks. "You don't want to know."

Kyle was getting fed up. He stood up and walked the meter or so that separated their beds and sat down beside Aqua, throwing an arm around him. "I do. Trust me?"

There was that phrase again. Aqua let out a sigh. "It's 'cause I've got nobody. Every day I go to some bar or whatever and look, and I never find even one guy who I want to spend time with, let alone..." He trailed off, keeping his nose pointed down and shutting his eyes.

Kyle pulled on his shoulder, hugging him with one arm. "Hey, you know I can help with that. I know a few guys here that go to the _Pot O' Gold_just down the highway, I'm sure I could hook you up with one of them."

Aqua turned his head, but not enough to look in Kyle's eyes. Instead he stared at their footpaws as he said, "I've been to every bar in town, Kyle. All the gay ones, all the straight ones, just all the ones. There's nobody there that I want."

"Alright, what about clubs? Book stores? Anything?"

"Nothing. I only want one person, and I know he doesn't want me."

Kyle's arm tensed around Aqua. "Awk, that's not fair."

"...No, it's not."

Kyle's arm dropped from Aqua's shoulder. Aqua felt like the silence was thick enough to drink, but he didn't dare open his mouth to break it. He knew exactly what Kyle was thinking. They'd talked about this; Kyle was bi, but he just wasn't interested in Aqua that way. He loved him, but not as a boyfriend. Bars, cars, making fun of profs, helping with the homework, giving advice about family life; they did everything that best friends did, and that's where Kyle wanted it to stay.

"Kyle?" Kyle's head turned at Aqua's tone. Aqua dropped to his knees and said nothing else; now was the time for action, not words. He grabbed one of Kyle's footpaws and, before Kyle could say or do anything, nuzzled into it. He knew Kyle liked this; he'd seen his reaction when his ex-girlfriend had put her claw to his footpaws. Aqua rubbed his face into the white socked footpaw and sniffed.

Kyle was about to pull his footpaw out of Aqua's grasp when instead he found himself moaning as Aqua kneaded his sole with his thumbs. "Awk..." he mumbled. Aqua shushed him and continued his ministrations, using both thumbs to massage Kyle's footpaw. "Awk...please..." Aqua took his nose and pressed it into the webbing underneath Kyle's sock. "S..st..." Aqua licked upwards and Kyle's toes splayed. "St...stop..." The sock found itself in Aqua's mouth as the husky moved his hands up Kyle's leg. "STOP!"

Kyle yanked his footpaw back, catching a toe on one of Aqua's fangs. He cursed as he jumped back, standing overtop of Aqua and glaring down at him with anger etched into his green eyes. "I told you before, we're _not_boyfriends! I don't want to be your boyfriend, and I don't do that stuff with anybody who isn't." Kyle grabbed his boxers from his bed and walked out of the room, and Aqua, still on his knees, folded his arms and face into his bed and began to cry. He took it too far; he knew he did. He never should have done that; stupid, stupid!

Kyle returned five minutes later, Aqua still crying into his bed. Kyle dropped his clothes into the hamper near the end of the bed and dropped himself onto it. Aqua turned to look at him. Kyle's back was turned to the husky with his tail hanging over the edge and the rest of his body fully under the covers.

Aqua stood up and shucked his pants, shirt, and socks. After dumping them all in the hamper, he sat on his own bed and resumed staring at the ground between his footpaws, as he had before this whole mess had started.

How long he sat there, Aqua did not know. When he looked at the clock, it said ten fifty pm. He looked back to Kyle. Kyle was still there, laying on his side with his tail hanging out of the covers, but this time it looked like his arms were being held tight to his chest. "Kyle?"

"Go to sleep."

Aqua flinched; Kyle's voice was like a knell. "Kyle please...I'm sorry, I really am."

"Go to sleep."

"I can't, not until we talk."

"Then talk, but don't expect me to listen."

Aqua took a deep breath. "Please...I'm sorry for coming onto you. I never should have done it, and it was stupid. Don't even have the excuse of being drunk this time. I know you don't w-want to be my boyfriend, but I can't get over my feelings for you."

"Then get out and meet more people."

Aqua's paws shook as he gripped them hard together, trying to hold back the tears. "I do, I try, and I try some more, because I don't want to hurt you or make you unhappy...but Kyle, nothing is working. I work my tail off day-in and day-out to try and get back on track, and nothing is changing. And I think...it's because of you."

Kyle turned over and glared at Aqua. "Me? You think that the reason you - the best student of first year! - can't get above a sixty is because of me?"

"But it is!" Aqua insisted. "It's nothing that you do, you're not responsible...but all the time, I find that my mind goes off on a tangent, and it's always about what life would be like if you were my boyfriend. I have dreams and nightmares, where we're together forever or where you die and I..." Aqua stopped there, blinking back the tears. "You know how hard it is? To open up like this to somebody you know doesn't love you?"

"That's not fair, Aqua. You know I love you, but not like that."

"But that's what I mean! It's a tease, like offering filet mignon but only giving steak with a side of bacon...it's the same, but it's not."

"And what do you want me to do about it?"

Aqua looked up and stared straight into Kyle's eyes. There was anger there still, but the anger was in the back. What Aqua saw most was what he smelled: worry. "...I want you to sleep with me."

The anger came back, and Kyle turned over. "No."

"Please, I'm not saying anything will happen!" Aqua stood up and walked over to Kyle. "Please, I won't try anything. I promise. I just want the company of somebody I love. Just for tonight, and maybe it will help stop the dreams and nightmares and finally get you out of my head. I love you; I won't hurt you."

Kyle turned his head and looked over his shoulder. Aqua's eyes were glistening. When the husky opened his mouth, he said,

"Trust me? Please?"

Kyle's expression softened. He stood up and walked over to Aqua, and pulled him into a firm hug. "I do." Aqua's arms encircled him and pulled him in tight. "We may not be boyfriends," Kyle said, "but we are best friends. And I do trust you." He pulled back and wagged a webbed claw in Aqua's face. "Besides, if you do, I can just floor you."

Aqua smiled and opened the covers to the bed. When he settled onto the mattress, he held open the covers for Kyle. The otter hesitated a moment, but then laid down in front of Aqua. The covers fell with Aqua's arm around him. Kyle tensed slightly as Aqua snuggled into him, but it felt oddly comfortable, and though he didn't think it would, sleep came to him that night as thoughts of what all this meant swirled around in his head.