FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

It was nice and cool. Summer had just given up to Autumn and it was that wonderful time where the leaves were still green and it's nice enough to go outside and relax without having to worry too much about the sun or the heat. He rested his back against the pillar and watched people go by. The school had just recently allowed furs into it and there weren't that many. But most of his friends were. A pack was generally a group of the same animals, but he would call them a pack. They looked out for each other. Helped each other when somebody asked, not the _he_ever did. Still, it was times like these where he could lean back, close his eyes, and pretend he had no worries. No ties to anything before. Life almost seemed perfect.

He was the first one there and he knew his friends would be arriving soon, but he could enjoy the silence and ignore the feeling and hushed whispers of uneasiness or hostility toward him. Well, not him particularly, but furs in general. He even smiled gently as he watched them. Did they not know how loud they were? Maybe they didn't realize the big ears on top of our heads meant we could hear them. He shrugged inwardly. Humans were weird.

He felt her coming up before he saw her. A black panthress named Jenna. He couldn't even hear her as she silently stalked a group of humans like they were her prey. Only saw bits of blurred black as she rushed from shadow to inky black shadow. Thinking on it, she was probably a big reason the humans at this school were scared of the furs, but she never hurt them. He flinched as he saw her jump out of a nearby shadow and frighten the humans. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't even realize she had moved up in front of them.

Most of them scattered, screaming, but one shook his head slightly as he walked away, grinning. The people surrounding them all backed away, forming a sort of circle around her, and one ran forward and dragged the walking dude back and behind the circle. Jenna rolled her eyes and walked through them. They parted, pushing and knocking people over and even trampling them to get out of her was fast enough. She was having a blast.

The next furs to get there arrived at almost the same time, coming from different directions. Vladimir and Trent. The two couldn't of looked any different. Vlad, taller than him and well defined, the dragon had a pair of dark jeans and a dark blue hoodie on. Trent, a small brown mouse had hand-me-down shorts that were a bit to big on him and a BVB shirt. When I say Trent is small, you might get the image of the fox being tall, but he wasn't much taller than the mouse. He sensed Trent coming but turned to wave at Vlad anyway.

For some reason he couldn't sense Vlad, but that merely intrigued him further. At times he got glimpses of what he felt about everybody else, but on those rare occasions, he only felt pain and surrender. Almost as if he had given in to whatever had befallen him. But still he always seemed cheery, even if his eyes sometimes showed what he was truly feeling. Briefly, the fox wondered if he himself were like that, he hid things, but was it obvious anyway, did his guard ever accidentally slip. It was that very thought that made him worry. That thought that _made_him slip later. Well, it was one of the reasons

"Hey Vlad." He smiled at the dragon. He heard the mouse walk up behind him, and turned briefly to acknowledge him with a nod of his head before turning back to Vlad. In just that brief moment, and the fox supposed he used his wings to do it, the dragon propelled himself forward so that when he turned back around to talk to him, Vlad was nowhere in sight. "Boo." He felt a clawed hand grip his shoulder and his mind recreated a memory of before. He locked it away and smiled at the dragon, forcing it almost painfully into his eyes and holding back the tears just that brief memory threatened to spill over.

He briefly met the dragons eyes, a gentle sea green and they seemed to almost entrance him. He mentally kicked himself and looked away before it became awkward. "So how was your night?" Out of the corner of his eye he saw the eyes, an almost unperceivable flash for a brief moment. Was that anger? Sadness? Perhaps both. He couldn't be sure, because as quick as it appeared it was gone, and his eyes seemed to clear. "It was great. I got a new movie." "Cool." "...Yeah." There it was again, but the fox was pretty sure he was the only one who could see it.

He just put on his practiced fake smile and leaned back against the pillar again, relaxing. There were three left to show up to their pack, but they would be here soon, he knew. Lucky number 7. He opened his eyes and saw Jenna watching him with a funny look and he started to panic inside. Did something happen? But she just had to sneeze and then she looked away. He sighed and made the others look at him for a moment, but that was nothing. He just grinned at them and they looked away.

He hummed to himself, waiting. The fifth member of the pack showed up soon after. She was a kitsune. Miyuki was upbeat a lot of the time and bouncily happy. He could tell that she wasn't always like that, and indeed there were times she was quiet and reserved, though still not seeming troubled to those who couldn't read people. Her tails were often waving behind her and they curled around her when she sat. It was a rarity. Having some difference like many tails. That and her light purplish fur color made her as unique as the rest of them.

She waved as she came up. Briefly latching onto each of them in a quick hug of greeting. "Vlad... Jenna... Alex... Trent." She punctuated each hug with a name before sitting down in front of the fox. If you haven't guessed by now, the fox's name was Alex. Well, technically it was Alexos, but that generally seemed awkward to say on a regular basis. Now seems to be a good time for a brief description of him. A small, leanly muscled snowy fox. He was slightly smaller than the average human, but that made him rather short in his own race. He had black markings on his tail and ears. Only a few scars were visible through his white fur, but most of them were hidden when his fur grew back out. On some of the scars, his fur didn't grow back properly, and some were rather obvious due to the lack of fur there. He had bright amber eyes, which he was told frequently were beautiful, but only seemed to attract trouble.

The last two members showed up together, talking about whatever game had their interest this week. It was often the same thing whenever you saw them together; discussing strategies, move sets, the benefits of certain classed and races. Luka and Jamie. Luka was a light grey bunny. He was as tall as Miyuki, but if you counted his often perked up ears, he was the tallest. His obviously dyed fur still looked decent, but it would have been better if he didn't try to change the colors and designs all the time. It looked great even without the dye, but he wanted to be 'unique'. Oh well, there was always that weird one.

And of course there was Jamie, a human. The last member of their pack. He was a bit taller than Alexos. It was by less than an inch, but still he pointed it out all the time. And according to him, ears didn't count. He was kind of cocky, but it was in an odd way that it was hard to dislike him. It was oddly never questioned out loud why he decided to join us, but Alex was sure all of them had at least had it cross their minds. He had longish brown hair and eyes of the same color. His skin was somewhat tan, but it was more likely he was sun-burned than having a real tan.

Miyuki hopped up and hugged them both. Luka looked annoyed and Jamie, although considered a member of their pack for almost two months, blushed furiously and put his stuff down by the pillar. Jenna, prowling around, pounced on him. Alex shook his head, smiling slightly. At least this was entertaining. Jamie flailed for a bit, then calmed down and Jenna got off him and flashed him a toothy grin she knew he hated.

He looked over to Vlad, but he was oblivious, his eyes closed his ear buds in and now that Alex was aware it was there, he could hear the music. He quietly sat there and listened, wondering what the dragon was thinking about. He wished he didn't have to feel so lonely. Realistically, these were the only people he could turn to in times of need. But he was hiding so much from them. He looked at each of them for a bit. Miyuki, two of her tails waving slightly as she sketched in her notebook. Jenna, for once clearly visible, sprawled out in the morning sun. Luka and Jamie, still talking about their game. Trent, glaring at a small group of humans that insulted the pack as they passed. And of course there was Vlad, introverted and quietly listening to his music.

He wanted to talk. He cared about the pack, but it was specifically Vlad he wanted to talk to. About everything. Vlad couldn't hear him over the music anyway, so he just covered his pout with a delicately painted face of contentment and relaxed by the pillar again. Jenna came up and sat beside him, "I have a bit of a problem."

"And I'm supposed to do what about it?" The fox replied, forcing his voice into an almost lazy drawl. "I don't know. Maybe help me. Listen." The tip of her tail started waving and he could tell she was getting irritated. "If you don't tell me what's wrong I can't do anything about it. Me just knowing something's wrong isn't enough." He was responding to the panther, but his mind was on the dragon. The same words applied, and at least the bit of emotion he let into his words, she thought was for her. "I'm feeling kind of lonely." He looked at her, curious. The same words could have come out of his own mouth. "Why?" "Well, it seems that all the humans have a mate, and we're all alone." "We're not alone..." Though his words were hollow. "He have each other."

She just sighed and walked away. "You don't understand." Alex felt a bit of contempt for her. She didn't know him. Couldn't understand how he felt or what he was hiding. But he quickly pushed that down and locked it away. Behind the almost impenetrable wall, the permanent partition of his mind.

He closed his eyes and tried to rest, but just then the bell rang. He groaned and stood to grab his pack. He slung the pack over his shoulder and turned around to see Vlad, sill sitting with his music. Sometimes he was so oblivious. He gently touched the dragon's shoulder, and Vlad jerked away in surprise. Opening his eyes and looking around. He grins sheepishly at the fox and Alex loved the timid smile. The slight blush he could see made it even better, but he didn't comment as the dragon pulled out his ear buds. "Time to go to class." The fox told him.

They were alone now. Well, there were always people around, but none of the pack, and he almost dared the humans passing by to say something. "Thanks." He watched Vlad put on his backpack and then he couldn't hold it in. "Vlad...?" "Yeah." He seemed uninterested, probably distracted by something. Definitely not the time. Besides, whenever he so much as thought about talking to him, his throat became dry and seemed as if it was full of cotton. He didn't know how he was going to tell Vlad, but it couldn't be here. Not now. "...Nothing."

He felt really stupid as he walked away, turning away to hide his blush. A couple of bad things about having white fur. It shows stuff. Dirt and grime and the like are a part of this, but it also didn't do well at hiding the deep blush on his cheeks or the scars under it, which is why he often kept covered, even in the summer heat. At least most of the scars were small, the ones that would have a chance of being shown, that is.

He walked away and pretended he didn't hear the dragons concerned remark. After a dozen steps he had locked everything away again and put back on his mask. But still he kept on going towards his class, eager to get away from the person who could make his mask fall for a bit. Breathe. Relax. Repeat. You should have never said anything. You're safe now. Why would you want to put yourself in danger again? He mentally kicked himself, trying to get the dragon out of his head.

He had known Vlad for a little over a year and had had feelings for him for most of that. It started out as simple intrigue. He couldn't read the dragon like he could everybody else. Maybe a school-boy's crush, though he thought he might be too old for that, technically he was still in school. Whatever it was, it quickly blossomed inside of him and he had trouble getting the other male out of his head. And now he had just passed up yet another opportunity to tell him.

He was scared. Of a few things. One was rejection. Although they were in the same pack, and they talked a bit, it was never about anything substantial. Both of them seemed to passively dance around those subjects of intimacy. Rarely giving any kind of personal information. He didn't think that Vlad lied, exactly. He hoped it was just like him. Dancing around the subject or making people accept vague or unsatisfying answers through his words and body language. It was so easy to manipulate people.

It was so easy to be tricked and be manipulated. He shivered slightly as he walked into his class and took his normal seat at the back of the room. It was an unspoken rule. Only unofficial because it was technically illegal, but the furs almost always sat at the back. A few teachers were neutral or even happy to have furs there and dispersed them like how one would arrange a bouquet, delicately placing them where they would be able to meet new people and become interspersed.

Most of the human ignored or bullied the furs, but that was how Jamie got in with us. I told you before how I was sure all of us had wondered why Jamie was in out group when he could have been one of the most popular people if he stayed with the humans. Well, I came up with two possibilities, the first being the most likely. 1: He liked us. Not in a 'Glad the humans aren't killing you anymore' kind of way, but in a 'He had a giant crush on Jenna' kind of way. Purely based on observation, but I think this could be it. And 2: He felt bad about the whole 'massacre the furs' thing that he wanted to help bring us up the social ladder, even if it also dropped him down a few pegs.

But Alex liked the back anyway. More privacy. Less social guidelines at the fringes of society. So he was occasionally called on, most likely to try to stump him, and he answered the questions as they came. History wasn't something he was good at. And except for when they were briefly enslaved and the big uprising and the war, the furs weren't mentioned at all. 13 years. 13 years the humans of many countries had united to kill them in the Great War. Occasionally we found a stockpiling of weapons, but for the most part, all we had were claws and primitive bows.

But we won. Some species were knocked almost extinct, and a few were. But when they captured the tribunal, the heads of the three most powerful nations against the furs, laws were passed and wars were ended. Some countries still threatened to kill furs on sight, but most of the civilized world accepted us. Or at least pretended to be somewhat civil. A little research would show that a group of humans had banded in a supremacist group that wanted to eradicate or enslave furs again 'as they should have done all along.' They were terrorists, of a sort, and there were occasional killings or families run out of an area, all 'prohibited', likely by the people who did it themselves.

Human culture was sickening to him. All the war, slavery, anger, pure hate. Not that the furs didn't have war or anger. Maybe even hate for a few. But we focused on a message of love as long as we weren't threatened or hunted. Love was something the humans would never seem to understand. And how could they, when they put had put their own in chains and then turned to us. Fought between each other and then us, and now both. But the Great War was over.

The abhorrence many humans still felt for us was only thinly veiled, but it wasn't public except in school. At school, bullying was a normal things for all kids. Who cared if parents influenced their kids to focus on the furs? Certainly not the administrators, most of whom shared the hatred and the other faculty, teachers included, who did not share this view turned a blind eye to it if it was not in their classroom in particular.

He was shaken out of his daydream as a balled up paper hit his head. Sometimes the paper was blank and sometimes it had slurs or messages of hate plastered on them, but he didn't try to find out if this had either. He left it there as the teacher looked back around from writing on the board. "So who can answer this?" Don'tcallonme don'tcallonme don'tcallonme. "Mr. Andrews?" He didn't recognize the historical name on the board or the name of the person she had called on, so he tuned out the answer. Maybe that was why he did poorly in this class, but he found it boring.

The bell rang and he took his time to grab his stuff and get out. On his way out the door, the teacher called him back. "Yes?" "I don't care how you act in your den, but in civilized society we don't leave our balled up paper on the floor. Go and pick it up. Throw it away or shove it back in your backpack, but don't leave it on my floor." He knew where he would like to shove the damned paper. A den? He wasn't a feral. He grabbed the paper and shoved it in his pocket before heading back to the door, ignoring her when she tried to make him apologize for the nothing he did.

He went to throw the paper away, but saw something on it and stopped. He un-crumpled it and looked at it, surprised at the contents before shredding it with his claws and walking away. Maybe they could see the emotion in his eyes, or body language, but the humans made no comments about him as he passed and they all cleared a path as if he was as tall and menacing as Vlad could be if he chose. One thing was sure, he wasn't containing the emotion well.

He calmed down a bit, but was still clearly upset as he walked up to the pillar that was their meeting place. Or as his teacher might have said, 'their pack den.' That actually sounded good and he chuckled to himself and suddenly was able to put a lid on his emotions, or for a moment anyway. He waved at the furs that were already there and as he saw Vlad walking up from his own class and his throat seized up on the greeting he was about to give.

So he kept silent, swallowing the words and emotions that flooded through him down and sitting beside where he knew the dragon was going to. He was slightly disappointed when Vlad put his backpack between the two, but of course he couldn't complain. Why did he keep torturing himself? Just being near the other made him nauseous and tongue-tied. But something drew him nearer.

While he was in his daze, the others came over and starting talking about whatever. Gossip mostly. Luka sat down in front of the fox and waved. Alex gave him an odd look and waved back. "I need your advice." "On what?" "Well... there's this girl I like and -" Alex cut him off. "Why does everybody come to me with their issues. Does it look like I have a good love life? Hell, even a good social life. I give the best advice I can, sure, but seriously, I'm not your damn shrink." And that's exactly what the bunny did. He shrank back and everybody but Vlad looked at him. Of course not, he couldn't hear anything through the music. He felt like he was about to snap. The lid he had put on his emotions had finally popped off. He stormed off, ignoring the others calling to him.

He made his way to the school library, sitting down on one of those hard plastic chairs that always seemed to make his tail ache slightly. But he was glad for the pain, the little it was. It helped him with control. Balance. If he had those two things, he told himself, nothing else could ever really hurt him. So he hid everything away. Controlled it. But there was always balance and occasionally, like now, it got out. But the dull ache helped him to lock it all back up again. He stayed there until the bell rang again, telling them to go to their next class.

He got up and went, trying to reapply the delicate mask he almost always wore. He sat again in the back corner of his class, but he was able to put his head down and rest, and he did so. Not to sleep but to think. He thought about everything. His past and his present. He thought a lot about Vlad. Why couldn't he let the dragon go?

His thoughts were interrupted by the lunch bell, and he wondered how the class could have gone by so quickly. He headed out, but saw the pillar was empty. He stayed away at first, letting almost the whole pack come and start eating before he came near. He felt nauseated, so he didn't get food yet. Instead he walked up, and for the most part they pretended he didn't exist. They were really bad at it. They stole glances at him frequently, and Trent was talking to him until he caught that they were still mad. He couldn't care less. Lunch was the only time Vlad was even a little bit social and he was going to talk to him.

"Hey... Vlad?" "Yeah?" "How are you?" "I could ask you the same question. You seemed to enjoy going off on Luka earlier." Alex flinched back as if he had been punched. "I-it's not my fault, I've just been having a very Vlad day." He tried not to groan or correct himself. If he didn't, there was still a chance that Vlad would hear what he meant to say. "Well a bad day doesn't excuse that... What's wrong?" "I really don't think it's a good idea to talk about it." "It's always nice to talk things out." "Pot calling the kettle black." He muttered back "Besides, I can't tell you. l- I need some secrets." "Come on, let me help." "Why would it matter if I told you how I fell if I know you're never going to care for me in the same way?"

Everything seemed to get suddenly quiet and the others all turned to stare at him. He realized what he said a moment too late, but there was no taking it back now. Tears started to form in his eyes, but he blinked them back. He looked back to Vlad, who had a look of shock that slowly changed to that of what Alex believed to be disgust. He ran. At first, he didn't know where he was going to go, but everything seemed to want out... including his breakfast.

He managed to make it into the bathroom and locked the stall, barely able to direct the vomit into the bowl. He shakes, using all of his power to hold back the tears. He flushes the toilet and walks out of the stall. He turns on the sink to its hottest setting, which isn't all that hot, but it would have to do. He scrubbed his face and washed out his muzzle, using a few paper towels to get most of the water from his fur before looking at himself in the grimy mirror.

The tears were there again, but he would not let himself cry. He forced the tears down and choked back the sobs, heading out of the bathroom. His mind is reeling. Thinking of everything. The last person he admitted his feelings to. The note. And most importantly, Vlad's face. He pushed open a door he thought was an exit in his daze. He planned on leaving. Maybe not coming back tomorrow. But instead, he found himself in stairway to the second floor of the school. He was about to go back out when the bell rang for a new class to begin.

He panicked. Panic was a weapon and he knew all too well what could happen if he unleashed it. But he couldn't force it down. Instead, as he heard voices coming his way, he ran underneath the stairs and curled up. There was old gum, graffiti, balled up assignments and tests, but he tried to ignore that and be invisible. Nobody could find him. And nobody did. After what seemed like an eternity, the tardy bell rang and everybody was gone.

He finally let his guard slip, but just a tiny bit of slack crushed the whole thing. Everything flooded through him again, all the pain he had repressed. All the sadness. The regret. And even a bit of happiness. But it all seemed to come back to Vlad. He thought he hated the boy, then. For a moment fury ran through him, but he took it all back a moment later, a single tear running down his muzzle. "Corrupted."