Second Chances ~Final Chapter Heart of a Lion~
"I love you too." James replied, although no one was there. James turned and looked at the reception hall's doors. Suddenly panic flooded his senses, his legs were rooted to the spot. For some reason, he could not bring himself to open those doors, to enter the hall. James was stuck, standing there, with an odd expression on his face, just staring at the doors. A paw landing with a soft thud on his shoulder took him out of it.
"Hey!" Danny greeted him, being the owner of the paw. "Looked like you zoned out there." Danny laughed.
"Yeah..." James replied, still somewhat out of it. James noticed Tyler was standing next to Danny, they were holding paws. "Are you two...?" James didn't really have to finish the question.
"Yeah." Danny replied. "Uhh, is Devon in there?" Danny had a nervous expression on his face.
"Yeah. I don't know how he'll react with the whole..." Once more James didn't need to finish his thought to get the point across.
"He already knows. I'm just worried how he'll react seeing it." Danny replied then heaved a sigh. He turned to Tyler. "Let's go." Together, they entered the hall, paws clasped tight, as if someone was going to try to pry them apart. James remained outside, staring at the door. Finally, he worked up the courage to go inside, it wasn't exactly courage, more like hunger.
An intense smell of food, booze and sweat hit James all at once, nearly knocking him flat on his back. The food smelled delicious, but the other two mixed with it smelled horrid. James scanned the room for Devon, suddenly anxious to avoid him. He spotted Devon sipping on a glass of pop, and picking at some nondescript meat. Devon was sitting with Danny and Tyler, obviously trying very hard not to look in their direction. James snuck into line, hiding in that mass of furs.
James made sure he stayed out of Devon's line of sight at all times. He got his food, and a drink and went back outside, sitting on the concrete steps to eat. James felt horrible for avoiding Devon, but every fiber of his being told him not to come anywhere near Devon. James knew the reason why, it wasn't what Devon would do or say, it's what James would. He'd lived his life this far without anyone knowing he was gay, and after seeing how much it messed up Danny and Tyler and Devon's lives, he didn't want anyone to know.
James sat outside, nibbling on a roll, his conscience overflowing with guilt.
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Devon dared a look across the table. Danny and Tyler were kissing again. Devon looked back down, PDA alone made him uncomfortable but this... Devon looked around the room again, hoping to see James. Once more Devon's eyes fell back down to his food in disappointment. He'd had a piece of chicken, a roll, some mashed potatoes and some noodles. The only thing he'd eaten was the roll. By now his food was probably cold and nasty, but that would have only mattered if he had planned on eating it. Ever since he'd entered the hall, his senses had been dulled. He might be hungry, he might not be, he couldn't smell anything, when he ate the roll, he didn't taste it. He just sat there, every single thought in his head focusing on James. He didn't even notice when Danny started talking to him again.
"Devon!" Devon looked up. Danny had realized Devon wasn't paying attention. "What's up with you? You and James both have been space cases this whole time." Devon just looked away. "Is this because of me and Tyler? If it is, we'll just go somewhere else because you look seriously miserable." Danny asked.
"No." Devon replied quietly.
"Then what's up? You haven't said anything since we sat down, you've hardly touched your food, James is outside starring into space..." Danny's mind put 2 and 2 together suddenly. Devon looked up to see why Danny had trailed off, Devon hadn't realized his eyes were getting watery. "Oh." Danny replied. "So James is...you're in love with James." Danny stumbled over the words. Devon merely nodded his head.
"And he's acting like I did?" Tyler asked, sounding angry. Devon shook his head.
"You've got to talk to him." Danny advised Devon. Devon looked up, a few tears running down his face.
"When I told him. I'd never felt better in my whole life. Since then? Since then I've felt like...utter...crap..." Devon sort of trailed off, scanning the room for James again.
"Devon, listen. You need to talk to him, if you don't you'll feel like this forever. If he doesn't love you back, then he can still be your friend. And if he does love you back well..." Devon understood, Danny was trying to tell him that as long as Devon talked to James everything would be alright.
"Thanks Danny. But, I would know better than anyone that those aren't the only two possible outcomes." Devon looked back down at his food, and pretended to be interested in his potatoes. Danny turned and looked out the glass doors. James had parked right up front, and Devon's car was still visible.
"Devon, look. Your car is still out there, he's waiting for something. He's probably enjoying this party as much as you are, he's probably waiting for you." Danny pointed out. Devon looked up, outside was his car, the one he and James had taken to the reception. James had driven and still had Devon's keys, he could have left if he had wanted to. Devon stood up.
"If he's anywhere, he's outside." Devon stated quietly. He walked very slowly towards the doors. Once he reached them, he stood there for a moment. Outside he saw James. James was sitting on the cold steps, with a plate of colder food next to him. On his plate he had chicken, mashed potatoes and noodles, and there were crumbs from an eaten roll. Devon slowly and silently pushed open the door.
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James noticed someone was trying to open the door quietly. Probably just another smoker coming out for a smoke break. James sat there, playing with his potatoes, pretending he was going to eat some. A shoe landed just to the left of James. The leg attached to it slowly lowered and angled itself, whoever owned the leg, was sitting down next to James. James didn't feel like looking over, it was probably no one important, there was only one important person in the world to James.
"So." A very familiar voice began. "This is where you've been this whole time." James looked over to see Devon, staring directly ahead of him, but obviously speaking to James.
"Yeah." James replied quietly.
"I've been inside with the love birds." Devon replied. James was caught off guard by this little joke. "I swear they must've kissed a hundred times by now." Devon snickered a little. All of James' pent up anxiety exploded into laughter. Soon both Devon and James were laughing so hard it felt as if their sides were going to split. It wasn't all that funny, but both of them had been waiting for a lighter mood all night.
"How's the food?" James asked.
"I don't know, you?"
"The rolls are good." James replied, this set them both off again. Neither of them were thinking about what happened before, they were only thinking about what would happen now. What happened now was both of them entering the hall, getting new food and eating. Sitting with Danny and Tyler, and laughing the night away. It wasn't until 11:00pm that either of them felt tired.
"Whoa! It's 11 already, we should get going." James exclaimed, he actually had to work the next day. Devon and James said their goodbyes to everyone, then headed off. James drove.
"So, besides a rocky beginning, tonight wasn't too bad was it?" James asked.
"Yeah, I had a lot of fun." Devon replied, a smile still on his face. "I'm sorry."
"Huh?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't have the money to get you a gift." Devon replied, feeling guilty.
"That's not a problem." James replied.
"Yes, it is. You always get me gifts, I'm sure for tomorrow you've gotten me something I've never heard of, but it's the coolest thing ever, until next year. You've let me live in your apartment free of rent, you've helped me out during my hardest days. Most importantly, you've been my friend for years, and I can't even muster up a simple gift for you on your birthday." Without looking, James could tell Devon had tears in his eyes. James knew what he had to say, he just hoped he had the guts to say it.
"You've...you've already given me a gift." James replied quietly.
"Huh?" Devon asked, the tears stopped forming.
"You've already given me a gift." James replied, this time with a little more confidence in his voice. They pulled into the parking spot next to James'.
"What would that be?" Devon asked, befuddled. James looked at Devon, Devon embarassed of his tears, looked away out his window. James unbuckled his own seatbelt, and leaned over to Devon. Devon looked back towards James, the moment his head was turned, James pulled him into a kiss. It seemed they sat there for hours, when in actuality it had been less than a minute.
"Your love." James replied. As he said it, James realized how corny it must have sounded, and began blushing, just enough that it was visible through his fur in spots. This time Devon kissed James. This kiss was much more passionate than the other, both muzzles locked in passion, their tongues exploring the other's mouth. Finally they pulled off. They had to get out of the car sometime, plus it was getting cold.
As the walked towards the apartment, James grabbed Devon's paw. Devon's mind pumped out a single thought.
(I don't know what'll happen from here on...but as long as I'm with James, everything will be just fine.) And so, the heart of a lion fluttered, nearly lifting Devon off the ground.