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It happened when I was three

Going to the doctor's office to get some tests

I thought nothing of it at the time

They looked like ordinary tests at first

And after what seemed like an eternity

They got the information they needed

After an hour of waiting

They come back with the results

They tell my parents that im autistic

In otherwards, it was just a fancy way of them

Telling me that i was broken

I really wish that i never learned what that meant

Because that would follow me

And transform my life into complete chaos

It was the first day of starting school

I was put into a special education class

since i had difficulty learning things

Things were alright

And i was happy where i was at

Two weeks later the school needed to do some IQ tests on me

I did the tests and a few minutes later

They tell me that i scored high enough to be placed in a regular class

The news spread quickly like a wildfire

And soon every student knew about it

While the teachers welcomed me with open arms

The students did not

I became an immediate target

and all the students had their sights on me

They loaded up their insults

Like guns getting prepared to fire at will

And they fired away at me

This would go on until I reached High School

Many things happened during that time

My grades started to decline

And the insults got worse

Many students saw what was happening to me

But none bothered to come in and help me

Instead they would laugh along with the others

So they could belong with everyone else

If you tried to stand up for a person that was a target

You would instantly become an outsider, an outcast

I couldn't stand it

Everyday was a battle

Some mornings I would wake up and lie to myself

That everything would be alright

But there were days that when I woke up

That every breath that I took

Became painful and became harder to breathe

Like if somebody had their hands around my neck

and was choking the very life out of me

It was worse when I was in school

Every insult, every humiliating remark

Stupid, Dumbass, Freak

The list would go on and on

It went nonstop

Like knifes stabbing away at a lifeless body

I became so scared

of showing my emotions to everyone

It started to turn me into a nervous wreck

Like rabid dogs attacking a person

They chewed away at my sanity

Tearing it piece by piece

Barely holding on by a thread

My soul bloody and wounded

Screaming out in agonizing pain

I started to get suicidal thoughts

That would occur every minute

Every second

Constantly slamming me with disturbing ideas

Either it be from trying to obtain a gun

And pointing it at my head and firing away

Or jumping in front of traffic

And let oncoming vehicles run me over from top to bottom

There were days I wished I could go to the hospital

Asking doctors to amputate my heart

Give me a pill

And replace it with a battery

So I would no longer feel emotion

There were also days that I wished i could take out my soul

And replace it with with a copy of a perfect image of themselves

I thought this would go on for an eternity

But after 4 years of high school

After all that abuse and cruelty

It finally came to an end

And as I look back

I see the road that was taken

So rough and bumpy

It's a surprise that im still alive

I see the sun rise up once more

And walk towards the light moving forward.