FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The Gift

Edward's Storyline, Chapter 3.3

copyright comidacomida 2018

My mom let out a sigh, and sat me in her lap as she stroked my hair. "Oh, Eddie... there's so much you never knew, and things you shouldn't have to know. YOU are the reason I kept on living. YOU are the best thing that ever happened to me, and it doesn't matter how you entered my life. I'm so glad that I had you with me for as long as we hand... I'm just sorry that we couldn't be together longer."

It certainly sounded like my mom, and she was saying the things I never thought I'd get to hear. The pain and anger and frustration and confusion was still there but, somewhere in the roiling cauldron of emotions and thoughts I think a little bit of closure managed to come together. At least, until I had a moment to consider what I'd heard. Damning myself silently for not being willing to just enjoy the time with her, I glanced up to my mom and I shook my head.

Looking back at the three different parts of The Ancient One, I spoke plainly. "Alright... that's enough. I don't want you hiding behind my memories or her essence or whatever. We need to talk... all of us, and now is as good a time as any."

Green extended an arm, motioning to me incredulously as he looked to the others. "Do you see now? He does not even know what he wants."

Ch'upikaq, who was coiled contentedly on the blackness standing in for the ground had his wings folded along the length of his body, but looked up to address Green's statement. "Perhaps it is WE who do not know what the wants."

Red objected. "It is simple. He asked to dream of his mother, and we did as he asked."

The winged Serpent continued to address the situation calmly. "Perhaps we did as he asked, but not as he wanted."

Their discussion was really starting to irk me at that point. "I'm right here, you know... it's kinda rude to be trying to guess when you can just ask."

Red looked straight at me and blinked; he looked as if he were insulted by the suggestion, or was trying to explain something basic to someone who couldn't grasp the concept. "We tried that already. You were displeased with the results."

I held my hands up to stall any more objections or impressions of 'I-told-you-so' from any of the parts of The Ancient One. Was it REALLY going to be that hard? Taking a deep breath, I tried again. "Right now, I just want to understand the three of you."

Green huffed, and snorted; a small wisp of flame emerged from his left nostril. "You can already understand us, little boy. We are speaking your language."

Red shook his head, facing Green. "In truth, I believe he wishes that we could better understand him."

The Dragon rolled his eyes, huffing again; the second time a small gout of flame came out of each nose. "That is the same thing."

The furry Dragon shook his head again. "It is very different."

Ch'upikaq, rather than addressing either of the other two, spoke to me instead. "Edward?"

Apparently, I realized, he was the only one of the three who even realized I had a say in things. I looked to the winged Serpent. "I swear to god, it's like I'm dealing with kids or something."

The Serpent slowly rose up from his coils, wings unfurling so he could bat them lazily in the air to stay vertical. "I would like to tell you a story if I may-- yes, I know you wish to communicate your needs but if you will allow me this one request then I believe that it will provide some clarity into the frustrations you are feeling."

His polite directness was a far cry from what I was dealing with when I was talking to Green (who was direct but not polite) or Red (who seemed neither direct nor polite). It kinda made it hard to say no. "Okay... if the story has a purpose I guess that's alright."

The other two thirds of the Ancient One stopped their dispute so Red could correct me. "All stories have a purpose, Edward... but that purpose is not always clear."

Green said nothing, simply standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and a look of displeasure and discontentment written clearly on his muzzle. Heedless of the interruption or the dour onlooker, Ch'upikaq began his story. "One of my most treasured moments in decades past was finding the time to read Freud's model of the psyche. Are you familiar at all with Sigmund Freud, Edward?"

I shrugged. "Yeah... I guess. I mean, I've heard the name. He was a psychologist or something, right?"

The Serpent's head bobbed in a nod. "Yes. He proposed that the human mind is made up of three concepts: the id, the ego, and the super ego."

It sounded familiar enough that I was able to remember a few things that we'd covered in my intro to Psyche class in high school. "Oh right. The id is instinct and the Ego is how someone acts. The Super-Ego is willpower or like a conscience or something."

Ch'upikaq smiled, or at least it seemed to me like he did at that moment. "Yes, Edward; that is a close approximation. The Id is a human's base drives-- positive and negative, that make your kind function from want, desire, and need. It is the part of a human that most connects to the natural condition of animals."

I nodded but still didn't get what he was saying. I gestured to the blackness all around us as I spoke. "Okay... you said this story has something to do with all of this though, right?"

The Serpent nodded again. "That is correct. I bring up the Id, Ego, and Super-Ego because Spirits are not humans. We relate to Humans based on our interactions with them. The reason this is important is because, if you will recall, Green has spent the vast majority of his existence without Human interaction. He is a powerful spirit, but he has limits."

Green snorted. "You have limits too, Ch'upikaq... which is why you need us."

Red rose into the air, floating between the two as he addressed Green's comment. "Ch'upikaq is not demeaning you. He is illustrating the connection between the concepts and how we three are able to survive as one... with you as the base instinct, with myself as the cognition and reasoning, and with the youngest of us our connection to mankind."

Rather than acknowledging Red's accuracy to the furry Dragon directly, the Serpent instead spoke to me. "It is not untrue, Edward, and may very well be the best way to understand how the three of us can function-- not always in unison, but at least closely enough to survive when all of us should have long since faded away."

Red spoke up again. "The largest discrepancy with the comparison of course is that the Super-Ego is responsible for resting the urges of the ID. I am generally the piece responsible for dulling Green's urges, and it is obvious that I would be the Ego in this arrangement."

Despite all of Green's brash statements and obvious interest in the here-and-now, his next statement was the first time that I realized the scaled Dragon was not stupid. It started with a demeaning "HA" and went from there. "You the Super-Ego, Red? No... that is all Ch'upikaq, and he is a very weak one. YOU are the one governed by the 'reality principle', and, as Freud proposes, you are usually the driving force in providing us direction, which is precisely how he proposes the Ego functions. You are all about reason and balance."

The fuzzy Dragon was right there to continue the argument but, once more, Ch'upikaq stayed out of it, choosing to speak with me instead. "Green is not 'bad' nor 'evil' nor 'uncaring'... he simply is as he is. Red is logical and goal-oriented and intellectual. It is due to the two of them that I have been able to survive this long and, as my part, I am responsible for helping them connect with humanity and Humans, as I understand your kind in ways that neither of them could."

It made a little more sense, and I pointed to Green, then Red, then Ch'upikaq as I labeled them accordingly. "Id, Ego, and Super-Ego... so you're the conscience of the bunch."

The Serpent offered a calm smile. "I prefer the term 'guide'. In matters of spontaneous action Green is our guide; in intellectual pursuit and logic we turn to Red; although they do not always listen to me, it is my task to attempt to provide guidance during social interactions with Humans and spirits younger than ourselves."

Red paused in his argument with Green long enough to interject. "All spirits are younger than any among us."

I used that interruption as an opportunity to ask a very pressing question. "If all three of you, in your comparison, are parts of a whole then what happens if I make the decision to have one of you... you know--"

It was Green's turn to speak up. "Consumed."

The word seemed appropriate, but the hungry rumble with which the Dragon spoke it made the ideal particularly unsettling. "Right. That. If I have to make a choice and one of you is gone then what is supposed to happen? I mean... can anyone function without instinct or logic or emotional connection?"

Ch'upikaq slowly lowered back down into his coil and he let out a sigh. "We are a triumvirate because we could not exist separately. Of that, you understand correctly, Edward."

It was my turn to sigh. "Then how am I supposed to decide on what happens with the three of you? I mean, from what you're saying it sounds like un-evening this whole relationship-thing will end badly for all of you."

Green, who was face to face with Red held up his talon and pushed it against the furry dragon's face, moving him backward. He stalked over to me and spun me around to face him. Lowering his face so he could look me in the eye over the bridge of his snout, the Dragon stated simply "You are special, little boy... in a way your mother was, but more than that. YOU are going to be the solution to our dilemma. Maybe you believe it or maybe you don't, but we don't need your belief-- we just need your decision."

Red's tail slithered around the scaled Dragon's leg and pulled him back away from me. "You know Humans are not comforted by your touch, Green, and yet you still do it anyway."

Green stared Red down, a few licks of flame emerging from his nostrils as he seethed at the interruption. Ch'upikaq, on the other hand, chuckled quietly next to me, one of his wings brushing my shoulder as he spoke softly "Though he was quick to complain that you did not know what you wanted, sometimes I believe that he is the one who is most confused about his own truths."

I glanced around at the blackness and the three separate aspects of The Ancient One near me. The dream, if that's what it was had been confusing but, in that chaos, I felt as though some small amount of understanding was also imparted. I--