Bull-ied
BULL-IED
A SikGuntz tale
Kyle stood precariously on the top of the ladder, his neck, arms, and head straining to keep his vigil on the peephole just above his nose. The view wasn't the greatest; the gymnasium basement was filled with dust and the lighting was pretty dim, and to top it all off, there was the occasional trickle of water against his shirt from the communal showers, above. But the occasional glimpse he got of still-developing female breasts and tight-looking vaginas in the girl's locker room above made his discomfort and risk well worth it.
"Aw, yeeeaaah..." he whispered, as he got a decent look up at Mandy Jenkins, the vulpine junior high co-cheerleading captain. Mandy's tits had started to develop a bit earlier and were a bit larger than those of most of her friends, and their reddish-brown nipples jiggled perkily as she stared at someone next to her, then covered her muzzle with both hands and giggled coquettishly. "Shit, but would I ever love to tap that pussy of yours, you hot lil' bitch..." Kyle murmured, feverishly groping at his groin with one hand as the ladder wobbled uncertainly beneath him, his hand shakily unzipping his fly to tug out his cock. Having been held back two grades, the otter was nearly fifteen, and had already gone through puberty-so his prick was fully-developed in size and was firming up nicely in his grip as his green eyes squinted to get a better view. The noise from the schoolyard outside was minimal. It was late in the day, and this was the last period before everyone went home-so Kyle wasn't too worried about being discovered. He'd ogle the unsuspecting girls until they were done showering, then he'd close himself in the closet behind the football equipment cage and jerk himself off before having his skipping-sixth-period cigarette.
Things would've gone perfectly that way, too, if it hadn't been for one little thing.
As he looked through the peephole, he saw with amazement that Sherry Dunahoo, a petite little mouse with smaller tits than Mandy's but still an appealing figure and a snug-looking little twat, was carefully running her fingers over Mandy's nipples. Mandy's eyes were closed in bliss, and her muzzle was partly agape. Sherry's own face was riveted on Mandy's breasts, and slowly, she bent her head down closer to them as if to get a better look...but then she opened her mouth, and Kyle saw her tongue tip slowly ease it's way towards Mandy's firm nub...
...and as Kyle's cock got rock hard in his pants and gave an involuntary jerk, so did his right leg-and that made him lose his balance. The ladder toppled over, taking the startled otter with it-and he had just enough time to send a panicked look downward to see the floor rushing towards him, including the wide and rusty-looking water grate that used to be part of the school's previous shower room before the newer facilities were built upstairs. It all happened so suddenly, he really didn't even have time to yell.
His impact was hard and painful, and Kyle felt his teeth grind together as sharp bolts of pain raced up his leg. The position he ended up in was an awkward one: part leaning over, the ladder propping his upper body just a bit, he also felt a painful pinching sensation on his left wrist. Too hurt and frightened to even moan, at first, he let some of the agony fade before he slowly opened his eyes to get a better look at the damage.
It turned out that his hand was trapped between two of the ladder rungs, and he looked as his fingers dazedly, wondering how the position that his hand was trapped in could even be possible. His arm was sore, but his fingers wiggled normally and with little pain when he attempted to move them, so he assumed that nothing was broken. He then moved his gaze down to his leg, worry outlined on his features. His right foot was sunk lower than the floor, somehow, and he realized that it was because his foot had gotten jammed in the storm grate. As with his arm, nothing felt broken in his leg, but it hurt quite a bit when he tried to tug his foot out, and a sudden and incredible pang of pain shot through his ankle, possibly indicating a sprain. All in all, he was lucky that nothing was broken, but he was seriously sore-and it was clear that he wouldn't be able to extricate himself from the ladder and grate without assistance.
Then he looked down and noticed with irritation that his cock was still hanging out of his jeans. He hung his head low and cursed considerably to himself, his muzzle scowling darkly. He pondered how he would get himself out of his predicament, and as with many other times, he was thankful for his status as a well-known bully. His two best friends and he had been known to terrorize some of the other schoolchildren, their larger size making the task easier-so he felt pretty confident that he could pretty much intimidate any boy nearby into helping him out...unless his yells for help summoned a girl. Then again, he thought to himself, that might not be so bad, if she likes what she sees hanging out of my fly...
His reverie was interrupted suddenly by the thick sound of a rubber ball bouncing off the concrete floor nearby, and Kyle jerked his head around to see where it came from. The windows running along the top edge of the room were the ancient types that pushed out, as opposed to being permanent-and they were just large enough to allow things to fall into the basement of the gym if they happened to be dropped through. In this case, someone had lost a red rubber dodge ball, and would most certainly be down to get it.
Well, he thought to himself with a pained smirk, THIS oughtta be interesting. Let's see who shows up. Goddamn, but I wish it would be Mindy or Sherry...fuck, I'd make 'em finish that tit show they were giving me, and then I'd fuck the living hell outta both of-
Once again, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of heavy footsteps thumping down the basement stairs, and Kyle's eyes bulged and nearly bugged out of his head when he saw who it was. Awww, FUCK! Not HIM-of all the lousy-assed goddamn luck...
The young male bovine that came more fully into view was pudgy and disheveled, and the thick-lensed, horribly ugly glasses perched on the young bull's nose only made his identity that much more set in stone. It was Hubert Putch, normally one of Kyle's favorite targets for bullying. Often dubbed "Pudge Putch" by the otter, Hubert was actually almost as tall as Kyle, and nearly twice the toned mustelid's girth-but his shy demeanor and the fact that he was mildly mentally retarded made him the butt of many schoolyard jokes, and even some of the more tolerant children tended to avoid him like the plague. Hubert wasn't necessarily ugly, but his stomach and facial freckles, combined with his heavy glasses and his parents' penchant for dressing him in shabby clothing tended to make him look worse than he was. All this combined with his somewhat dull wits made his life at school fairly miserable, but he'd adapted to his lot with a sort of calm, lamenting stoic attitude, even when he got beaten up.
Hubert blinked and came to a fast stop, nearly falling over as he noticed who was in the room with him, and he looked at Kyle, then over to the ball, then back to the otter, as though afraid to pass the otter to retrieve it. His face seemed fairly passive, but there was a notable air of worry and fear in his eyes as he looked at Kyle uncertainly.
Kyle wasn't happy that his rescuer would be one of the biggest pussies in school, but in his predicament, beggars couldn't be choosers. "Oh jeezus, it's YOU," he grunted, rolling his eyes. Then he glared at the bull and jerked his head back in indication for the bovine youth to come nearer. "Get yer fat ass over here, Pudge."
Hubert didn't budge at first, and Kyle leered at him with a fiery look on his face. "NOW, you dumbass!"
The bull jumped, then slowly walked forward, his fingerhooves templed together in uncertainty. He got within a few feet of the otter, then blinked down at him, his jaw open slightly. "You fell," he lowed, looking at Kyle with dull surprise.
"Well, no shit, Sherlock," Kyle snapped, growling up at the bull. "I was, uhh..." He paused, realizing that it probably wouldn't do to tell Hubert what he'd been up to, and he looked around the room a bit for ideas, then saw the tall storage shelf that was nearby, pushed up against the wall. "I was trying to get something off the top row of the trophy storage shelf over there, and the ladder slipped. My foot's caught in a metal grate, so YOUR big ass is gonna help me get it out. 'Cause if you don't, Doug n' Brody and me are gonna kick your ass royally," he grunted, fixing the bull with what he hoped was a convincingly pissed-off look, his teeth bared.
Hubert winced a little, but moved a little closer in spite of himself, slowly taking his eyes off Kyle's angry face to stare down at the otter's caught foot. "Wow. How'd you get it stuck in there?" he asked, peering more closely at it.
"How the fuck should I know??" Kyle yelled, wishing fervently that the noise of him falling would have been audible enough for some of the girls upstairs to have come to his rescue. "Just get it the hell outta there, ya dipshit!"
The bull looked from Kyle's foot down to his own feet, and his voice was soft and sad as he lowed, "You're always so mean to me..." But dutifully, he kneeled down with a grunt next to Kyle's leg and grasped the otter's shin with both hands, starting to tug upwards. The angle was correct, but the otter's shoe was still caught firmly between the rails of the grate, and Hubert's efforts only managed to scrape Kyle's shin firmly, causing him to let out a yell of pain and to cuff the bull between the horns hard.
"YAIOW!" he yelled. "Goddamit, you stupid lard-assed bull, watch what the hell you're doing!"
"I'm sorry!" Hubert whimpered, jerking his hands off of Kyle's shin and taking a step back as though fearing another wallop. "Your shoe's in the way, and I'm having trouble pulling it up!" He cowered for a minute, trembling fearfully and shielding himself with both arms from the otter's wrath-but after a moment, he saw something that made him forget his fright. He lowered his arms slowly and stared at Kyle's crotch dumbly, finally pointing at it slowly. "Uhh...Kyle? Why is your thingy out?"
"None of your goddamn business!" Kyle snarled, his brows furrowed deeply. "Now get back over here and help me get my hand free. I should've known a stupid 'tard like you wouldn't be able to do anything right..." he grumbled, rattling the ladder at the bull in agitation. "I'm gonna have to get my hand free so I can pull my leg out, since yer too damn numbskulled to do it."
Hubert pouted at the verbal berating, but crept forward again to try to get hold of the ladder and extricate the otter's hand and wrist-but his eyes were still locked on the otter's cock, Kyle's length flopping a bit as he moved and fidgeted. "Gosh..." the bull lowed, staring blatantly at it. "Yours is kinda long. My brother's is long as yours, though, maybe even longer. Thick, too," he added, then promptly slapped his hands over his muzzle, his face going pale and eyes widening as he realized what he'd just said.
Kyle stopped short, staring up at the bovine with both suspicion and horror on his face. "Your...brother?" he grunted, giving Hubert an odd look. "How the hell would you know how big your brother's dick is?"
Hubert quivered, his jaw trembling as his pudgy body began to shake. "You...you can't tell nobody, Kyle," he whispered frantically, leaning his face down to face the otter. "You can't! My brother'll kill me, and my folks'd be awful mad..."
"Tell nobody WHAT?" the otter rumbled, giving him a look with both brows raised. "Listen, 'tard, if you don't get me outta this, an ass-kicking's going to be your biggest worry."
The bull squirmed, looking fearfully around as he licked his nose with his tongue, then scratched it nervously before he leaned over near Kyle's face again and whispered softly, "S-...sometimes, my...my brother, he muh-...makes me... d-do things with his thingy," At this last part, the bull looked shyly down at his feet and shuffled them, just barely peering up through his eyelashes at the otter, as though seeking forgiveness.
Kyle's muzzle dropped open, upon hearing this, and he forgot his pain and discomfort for a moment as he gave the bull a look of revulsion. "Oh my god! Oh, my fucking GOD, not only are you a fat-ass and a 'tard, but you're a FAGGOT, too!" he gasped. "I shoulda known! I bet you hang out in the boy's bathroom checkin' out other guy's dicks all the time, don'tcha, ya sick little fuckin' fairy!"
"I do NOT!" Hubert whimpered, his face cringing at the accusations. "My brother's lots bigger than me, and he likes to beat up on me like you do if I don't do what he says! A-and he muh-..makes me suck his t-thingy 'c-cause he says I'm good at it," he sniffled, his eyes threatening to well up with tears.
Kyle shook his head in disgust, his features screwing up in a grimace. "A cocksucking whore. That's what ya are, and for your own goddamn BROTHER, even! Man, that's gotta be one of the sickest things I've ever fuckin' heard, you are SO gonna burn in hell for that shit!"
Hubert pouted. "I'm already in hell," he lowed, his bottom lip pooching out a little.
"Well...your ass just better get me the hell out of this, 'cause now I REALLY got something to blackmail you with, if you don't. I'll tell the whole goddamn SCHOOL what sick fuckin' perverts you n' your brother are, and I'll tell your folks, too. So if you can't get me un-stuck, then you better fuckin' find somebody who can, pronto!"
"Please don't do that!" Hubert whined, dropping to his knees to sit next to the otter. He surprised Kyle by grabbing the otter's one free handpaw and clasping it with both his own hands, their grubbiness making the otter grimace again as Hubert moaned, "H-he'll buh-...beat me up, for sure, if you do that, and muh-...my folks'll be so muh-...MAD at me...!" He sent the otter a pleading look, then looked around wildly as though trying to find some miracle to keep his shameful secret safe. Finally, he stopped puling and looked at Kyle's cock again, then pointed at it, his voice begging and hopeful.
"If you don't tell, I'll...I'll suck ya off, Kyle. I'm real good, my brother says so! I make him squirt that milky stuff every time he puts his thingy in my mouth and does that funny jerking thing with his hips," he lowed, his face eager and sincere as he made his offer. Without waiting for Kyle's answer, he licked his hand thoroughly, then grasped the otter's cock with his palm, smearing warm spit all over it as he started to stroke the older bully's cock.
Kyle was incensed, at first. "CUT THAT OUT, you sick faggot!" he snarled, trying to kick at Hubert with the foot that wasn't trapped. He took a swing at the bull's head with the fist that was also free, and the young bull almost got tagged with it-but ducked his head out of the way just in time as he opened his maw and popped the otter's cockhead into his mouth, his fingers rubbing and stroking Kyle's floppy seven inches of meat as he tried to get it hard. And to his chagrin, Kyle found his member responding, slowly starting to firm up at the bull's touch and from the feel of his warm lapping tongue.
"Stop that...!" he hissed through clenched teeth at the bull, angrily jerking his midsection around in an effort to get the bovine to stop. Hubert responded by sliding his muzzle further down Kyle's length, and as the bull nearly hilted the otter's entire cock in one swallow, his cursing and thrashing ebbed and gave way to a low groan of pleasure from the otter's throat. His prick firmed up hard and slick in Hubert's mouth, and the bull slowly slid his head up and down on it, his eyes closed as he let out a muffled lowing around it that vibrated it pleasantly. "Ooohh....shit, 'tard, you're better at that than I thought you'd be..." he grunted, his groin starting to move and jut his cock up into the bull's mouth in short thrusts.
Hubert deep-throated Kyle's cock, upon hearing that, his warm, thick tongue swirling around the otter's hilt and a bit against the otter's balls as Kyle's head lolled back and gaped his jaw. The edges of Hubert's muzzle tipped up a bit in a grin as he slid his mouth off Kyle's cock, panting softly as his fist kept pumping the otter's length. "See? I told you that I'm good at it!" He licked his lips off, then lowed, "Your thingy doesn't ooze as much of that salty stuff as my brother's does. I'm glad. Sometimes, he oozes so much in my mouth that I have to let it run out the sides so I won't choke."
"Keep suckin'," Kyle snarled, wiggling his stiff prick in the bull's fingers. "If you're gonna be a fat little faggot, then I might as well use your muzzle for my pussy, retard."
Hubert jumped a bit, but then nodded eagerly, enthusiastically going back to sucking the otter's cock fully. A thick coat of the bull's drool made it glisten as Hubert's head bobbed up and down, and the sensations from it made Kyle's balls tingle. He remembered the scene in his mind of the two girls above, and he substituted Hubert's head and body for Sherry's, picturing her petite face gobbling his long prick eagerly down her throat. Kyle brought his free hand around to grip the bull's hair firmly, forcing the bull's head to suck faster as he began to hunch his hips fiercely up against Hubert's fat lips. To his surprise, Hubert actually groaned a little, apparently used to this kind of treatment-and the otter figured that the bull's brother must use similar brute force. The otter didn't hold back, humping Hubert's face harshly as he reveled in the feel of the young bull's swirling tongue all around his length. Hubert fondled Kyle's balls carefully, and Kyle glanced down through half-closed eyes to see one of the bull's hands surreptitiously rub himself on his own crotch, apparently getting aroused from the taste of Kyle's warm pre sloshing all around the inside of his mouth. Kyle felt his climax building, and as Hubert brought him to the edge, his balls began to slap furiously at the bull's chin and muzzle, hard enough to cause the bull's features to squinch up tightly, a few tiny tears of pain oozing from the edges of his eyes. But he didn't slow down in his sucking, and Kyle panted raggedly, head thrashing from side to side as he bucked up and down ferociously.
"Gonna cum..." Kyle gasped, his teeth gritted as he curled his fingers tightly in Hubert's hair to keep him subdued and sucking. "Gonna blast my wad down your throat, and you better fuckin' swallow every drop, you dirty little retard faggot bitch..."
Hubert's facial features were nearly blurred from the speed of his sucking, and as Kyle's testicles jerked hard and began to spew burst after burst of his cum into the bull's maw, the bull drove his head down all the way, swallowing the otter's cock to the very hilt and keeping it there. Kyle gripped Hubert's hair hard and kept him forced down, the bull only gagging slightly as the mustelid dumped his cream into the bull's stomach. Kyle ground his balls firmly against Hubert's lips and chin, as though trying to bloody the bovine's nose with the force of it. Finally, his grunts and spurts started to subside, and his head dropped back a little as he panted hard, his fingers letting go of Hubert's hair as he relaxed. Hubert slowly eased his face up and off Kyle's cock, but he polished the otter's prick almost lovingly with his tongue, worshipping it and nuzzling his face against it, inhaling the scent deeply. Kyle gave him a bit of a shove backwards, and the bull pouted a little, but then gave the otter a weak smile as he rubbed himself some more. "Did that feel good, Kyle?" he lowed. "It did, didn't it? You squirted a lotta milk in me. My brother does that, when I do a good job on him."
"Hunh. Guess I can't blame him," Kyle muttered. "You're an ugly little fuckup of a retard, but you know how to suck a cock. Guess I'll have to start calling you Pussy Pudge, instead of just Pudge."
"I don't mind," Hubert lowed, shaking his head a bit. "I like it when somebody tells me I'm good at something." The bull fidgeted a bit, then grunted as he unzipped his own pants and tugged out his cock. Kyle's fatigued face welled up in surprise once more as he gaped at Hubert's prick, not expecting what he saw. Hubert's cock was surprisingly large for someone his age-not quite the seven inches that Kyle's was, but almost-and extraordinarily thick. The young bovine had a serious case of beer can cock, and the otter watched in stunned amazement as Hubert began to beat himself off, his voice shuddery and eyes blissful as he used both his hands to grip his girth tightly.
"Nobody e-...ever tells m-me nice stuff..." he gasped, his fingers stroking faster on his length as tiny droplets of pre began to fly from the bull's piss slit. "E-...everybody keeps... t-telling me how slow n' stupid I am.... s-so when s-somebody tells me somethin' nice.... I reeeeally like it... " he groaned.
"Aw, jeez," Kyle sighed, rolling his eyes and trying to shove Hubert away with his free hand. "Knock it off with the gush, willya? You're gonna make me puke on you."
"B-but... y-you said I was good...!" Hubert gasped, lost in his own throes of ecstasy as his fat fingers rocketed him steadily towards an orgasm of his own, and as Kyle watched him with growing uncertainty, he realized that not only was Hubert probably old enough and developed enough to actually have an orgasm, but from the smell of the pre and cum wafting from the bull's wiggling and rapidly opening and shutting piss slit, the kid could cum pretty hard. "Ohh, K-Kyle, I.... I thought you hu-...hated me, b-but...you said something nice!" He lowered his head and his cheeks flushed in shame even as he stroked himself ferociously, and his hair hung over into his eyes a little as he started to breathe hard, his stomach and chest heaving over his prick. "I b-bet m- my...b-brother w-would...l-like to watch me suck you," he gasped, his thick hips starting to roll forward and back with the intensity of his hand motions. "M-maybe he'd... t-try to put his t-...thing up m-my butt again, t-too... O-or he'd g-get YOU to do it..."
"You let your own brother pack your FUDGE?" Kyle gasped, his initial revulsion returning in spades as he tried to wiggle himself a bit away from the bull and got a heard twinge of pain from his ankle as a reward. "Holy SHIT, you are such a sick little freak! I hope that you shit all over him, and that he beat the ever-loving snot out of you in return. You're both the sickest pair of goddamn perverts I've ever heard of! I hope that you both get shot by your own parents!" he snarled.
Hubert shook his head rapidly, his own features uplifted slightly as his felt his climax coming fast. "Nuh-...no...!" he blurted, sweat beginning to pour down his forehead as his glasses steamed up a bit. "H-...he's... t-too big, it won't fit.... But YOURS would...!" he gasped, his eyes flashing open as he regarded Kyle with a panting mouth and wildly hopeful look. "Oh, K-Kyle... you could f-fuck me! I wuh-...WANT you to, I'd make you f-feel real go-..." The bull didn't finish his sentence, though, as his eyes got wide and his stance began to go rigid. Kyle looked down with horror at Hubert's balls, and saw them jerk.
"You SICK LITTLE FUCK...!" he roared. "Don't you fuckin' DARE cum on me!"
But the otter was too late. Hubert let out a thick moaning low of pure release as his back arched, and his piss slit opened wide, heavy spurts of bovine semen arching through the air and spattering themselves firmly against Kyle's face, then against the right side of his head and neck as he tried to jerk his features out of the way. The smell of the bull's cum flooded his nostrils as he gritted his teeth and swore through them, trying to get away from the shooting streams of spunk, but unable to because of his trapped foot.
Hubert shot his load all over Kyle's face until his balls sagged from the effort, and his tongue lolled from his muzzle as he tried to catch his breath. When his eyes opened fully, however, he was greeted with the sight of Kyle's face giving him a look of sheer murderous rage. The bull barely was able to open his mouth wide in horror and jump back from the otter's fist as he swung it, and Kyle let loose with a flurry of curse words as he began to thrash around as violently as his predicament would let him.
"You little sonofabitch!" he roared. "When I get outta this, I'm gonna fuckin' rip your guts out with my own bare hands!" His shoulders jerked and lashed, and with every twinge of pain his sore body felt, he put his rage from it into his words. "Do you hear me, you retard?! I'm gonna fuckin' MURDER YOOOOOU! Your goddamn folks aren't gonna find anything left of you but fuckin' shit n' BONES!"
Kyle was so worked up that bits of frothy saliva were flying from his muzzle, as were thick flecks of the bull's cum. He looked a good deal like some kind of rabid swamp monster that was melting from exposure to the sun. Hubert was deeply distressed, and he actually looked hurt as he backed towards the trophy shelf. "B-but...!" he whimpered, "I....I thought you LIKED me now, Kyle! I wuh-..was hoping that y-you'd let me suck you a l-lot, now..." he sniffled, tears threatening to well up in his eyes again as he wiped his grimy, pudgy fist against one of them. "D-...don't you wanna p-...play with me and my brother?"
"LIKE you...?!" Kyle gasped, gathering steam for another verbal assault. "I fuckin' HATE you! I've ALWAYS hated you! You're fat, you SMELL, you're a retard, a faggot, and a little pervert that oughtta be locked up in a looney bin! Have you been listening to all the things I've ever said to you?!" he snarled, trying to lunge at the bull and cursing his inability to do so. "I hate your goddamn GUTS and I'll hate 'em till I die!"
Hubert paused, his face utterly shocked, then miserably hurt for a few moments. Thick, hot tears of rejection streamed down his cheeks, and Kyle continued to rant as the bull wiped his face, smearing grime over his cheeks. He stared miserably at Kyle for a few minutes longer, and the otter showed no signs of slowing his rants. Sadly, the fat young bull turned to trudge towards the stairs.
But then he paused, everything that had just happened and all the hurtful things that Kyle had ever done to him, both with and without the help of his two thug cronies, washed back over his mind. His bottom lip trembled, and slowly, he turned back around to face Kyle, his own face sliding into a look of pure anger and hate that was severe enough to make Kyle blink and stop his ranting in mid-sentence. Hubert turned to face him, his cock now limp and his fists curling at his sides as they shook in fury.
"Well! You know what?" he lowed, his face furious as he squared off against the otter. "I HATE YOU, TOO!"
And with that, he turned and grabbed the trophy shelving that was next to him, giving it a savage yank and pull. The adrenaline surging through his system managed to allow him to pull this off, given that the shelves were laden with heavy boxes and bric-a-brac from years previous. Kyle's face looked as shocked as that of a cartoon character about to get flattened by an anvil, and he just barely managed to have time to scream and try to cover his head with his arms before the whole thing came crashing down on him.
Unfortunately, the ladder that his left hand was trapped in was a bit too heavy for him to have tried such a maneuver, and Hubert's ears heard a cruel and satisfying snap come from the otter's wrist as the mustelid's screams were buried under a small mountain of tumbling boxes. The crash was louder than the bull expected, but he didn't flinch as he turned and walked towards the stairs again, the anger having been swiftly replaced by tears once more. He ran up the stairs, puffing hard at his exertions, and dashed across the now empty schoolyard, heading for home by foot.
He would go home and cry, and if his brother was there, he'd most likely make fun of him, and then make his little brother suck him off...and life would be as normal as such a routine would allow. He vowed privately to filch fifty cents from his mother's purse so he could buy some ice cream later, and that would be all the consolation he would ever get. He nodded firmly, his vision blurry through his tears.
Ice cream, he reasoned, always made things better.