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The coast was clear. I hurried out of my car with my arms around a large paper bag and dashed across the neatly trimmed yard. Just before I got to the door a big furry object popped up out of nowhere. "Happpppy Birthday!" "Agh!" I fell on my butt clutching the paper bag tight. It was Ronnie Raccoon, my spunky next door neighbor. But where had he come from? I looked up and down the tidy row of houses on my street... It was broad daylight and there was not a soul in sight.

"Jeez, Ronnie, every time, what the heck, man?"

"Heh, sorry, Wolfie" He said, giggling behind his paw, "I just couldn't resist. you're too easy to scare." He reached out a paw and helped me to my feet as I dusted the grass clippings off my khakhi slacks. "These better not stain, man, I just bought them."

"Hey, Mr. grumpy. Lighten up, it's your birthday. Ooh, and, what have you got there," He asked, pawing at the bag, "party favors?" I raised it high above my head, where he couldn't reach. Ronnie, the epitome of the nosy neighbor. "Nope, just groceries, thanks for coming by, see you later." I walked around him before he had a chance to go for my armpits and got to the door when I realized I couldn't reach my keys with my arms full. Ronnie stood there with his arms crossed glaring at me. "What's the matter, having door trouble? I could hold that bag for you if you like."

"Not on your life, fuzz brain. Could you just reach into my pocket and grab my keys?" He didn't budge. "C'mon, be a pal. Just reach in there and grab 'em." I said, baring my canines in a hopeful grin. Nothing. I stared at him for a while meeting his gaze. I wasn't going to win this one. "Ok, Whaddya want?" "Ohhhh nothing much." He said, inspecting his claws with an air of nonchalance, "although I could use a glass of water; one gets parched waiting out here in the sun all day." "Okay, okay," I said, "I'm sorry, you can come in."

"That's better," he said, already opening the door. "After you." He gave a bow and a derpy smile, sweeping his arms toward the doorway. I rolled my eyes and entered the foyer. "Since you don't wear clothes, I guess I don't have to tell you to take off your shoes. Just put on some of those," I said pointing to the house slippers in the corner. I set my 'groceries' on the chair and undid my Birkenstocks, throwing a furtive glance his way. He wasn't much shorter than me, but with all that fluffy grey fur he looked like a stuffed toy you could pick up and squeeze. "How do you get used to these," He said, raising a slipper covered footpaw in disgust. "I never did get the whole clothes thing." "It's all part of the job," I said, loosening my tie. "You want to do business with the humans, you've got to meet them more than half way. Now, in fact, I feel naked without 'em." "Those 'hyoomans' do everything backwards," he said, yet even he'd chosen to come here to the city to enjoy their way of life. I passed into the house, leaving him clopping around in the foyer, and stared out the kitchen window at my empty swimming pool, clear as cut glass. I had never swum in it; like most everything in this house I kept it spotless but I never truly enjoyed it. "Dude! No way!" I jumped at the sudden voice by my side. "Look at this kitchen!" He ran around the room opening every drawer and cupboard he could get his paws on. "Neat-o! Look at all this stuff!" When he looked over the counter towards the living room, he froze.

"No way. Is that a foosball table?" He ran over to it and started knocking the ball around with the little soccer guys. "Check out this TV! It's like a movie screen!" I chuckled. He was the first critter I'd had over since I was run out of the human dwellings for being a 'deviant'. I had to hand it to him, he was one persistent little bugger. How many times had he tried to invite himself over? He was actually pretty fetching, though I wouldn't admit it on tape. "Hey listen, I'm going to run upstairs and put this stuff away. Feel free to look around, not that you need permission," I said more to myself than anyone. I hurried to my room, with its ivory carpet and matching king sized bed and flicked on the light to my walk-in closet where I kept my more personal items. I set the bag down just inside the door, took off my pants, rubbed some stain remover on them and dropped them in the hamper. "Don't groceries go in the kitchen?" A voice asked from behind me. I jumped and hit my head on a shelf. "Sorry, did I scare you? My bad. Wow, man, even your closet is immaculate. You hang your pants? Is that normal?" "Jumping Jehosephat, Ronnie," I said, rubbing my head, "what are you doing here?"

"Uh. I got lost?"

"How do you get lost in a track home?" He shrugged. "Get out." I shooed him away, "Go on, git! This part of the house is off limits." "Geez, okay, I'm gettin', I'm gettin'." He said, scooting out the door. "And learn to knock!" I called out after him. Ronnie just didn't understand the human concept of privacy. I shook my head as I tucked my tail into a new pair of pants and left the closet. "Come on, let's go downstairs," I said, turning off the closet light. "Hey, Jake?" Ronnie called out from behind me. "...What's this?" I turned back to see Ronnie by the bed wearing and innocent expression on his round little muzzle and clutching a large black rubber penis in his paw.

"Ack! Where did you get that?!"

"Your groceries."

"You were snooping around in there?!"

"It's what raccoons do." He said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why do you have a dildo, Jake?" He asked, cocking his head. "Uh... that's my girlfriend's," I stammered, my face getting hot.

"You don't have a 'gurlfriend'," Ronnie said, in an 'oh you' sort of tone. "I should know, I've seen you in here at night," He pointed toward the balcony. "You can see right through the slits, you know? Eek!" He squeaked, jumping onto the bed when I lunged for him. "Brrr, it's cold in here, don't you ever turn on the heat?" "You have too much free time and energy since you broke up with that crazy girlfriend of yours, dude. Hey, are you listening?! Come down from there!" I yelled. "I don't care about what's-her-whiskers anymore. She was just a decoy. En Garde!" He retorted, smacking my nose. "Oww...what are you talking about now?" I said, rubbing my muzzle. "A trick. A con. To make me more desireable. Come on, buddy, you of all people should know," He said, punctuating the sentence with a thrust. "How much more attractive someone is when you can't have them." I hesitated and he gave me a condescending smile as he sat down on the bed, patting the space beside him. I came over and sat down. "You really thought I didn't notice, huh Jake? The way you've been looking at me?" I knew I was busted. "Okay. Okay. I think you're cute. So sue me." A triumphant smile came over his face as he put his fists on his hips. "There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" "Look, I don't know why you're doing this. Haven't I been humiliated enough, I mean I've never tried to make a move on you, or anything..." "And why not?" He asked "Wh- because you're not-" "Not what? Not good enough for you?" "What?! NO! It's just... your girlfriend... I thought for sure you -" "I got her to impress you, ya dope. You barely noticed me before she came along." "So, wait... you're gay?" "Yup," He nodded enthusiastically. "And the other neighbors are okay with that? Or don't they know?"

"Man, you've been around humans for too long. Us aminals don't care about things like that." "You're fucking with me." "Does this look like fucking to you?" He asked, as he wrapped his arms around my neck and brought his muzzle in for a long hard kiss. "Well as a matter of fact..." I said when he broke it off. "Shut up," he giggled. Then he looked down at my crotch and grinned. "Heyyy, is that a banana in your pants or are you..." "DON'T. Even start..." I said. "Oh man," He laughed, "you should have seen the look on your face when you saw that dildo." He imitated me with his mouth hanging open in shock. "You bastard," I laughed and I tackled him playfully, giving him a noogie for being such a brat. "Oww.. heyyyy! Stop that!" He laughed, punching me in the stomach, and flipping me onto my back. "I may look cute, but I can take you down any time I want." "Oh yeah? Bring it." "Oh, it's already been brought." "You're such a derp!" "Oh yeah? If I'm the derp, why don't you get up?" I couldn't, he was sitting on my stomach and he held my arms way above my head. "You know, this puts me in an interesting position," He said, with a mischievous gleam coming into his eyes. He brought his paws up and wiggled his fingers menacingly. "Oh sh-" Before I could finish, his nimble hands were all over me. "NO! Nohohohoooo!" I wailed as he attacked my underarms. I couldn't breathe, all the strength had left my body as I laughed uncontrollably. "Say uncle, or you'll be cleaning stains off your mattress next!" "Never!" I growled, using my last ounce of strength to try and kick him away but he was too fast. He grabbed my feet and pinned them under one arm as he mercilessly attacked them with his fingers. "Please...can't breathe..!" I wiggled away and we both ended up on the floor but he didn't give up. "I surrender hahaha I surehehehenderrrrr!!!!" I gasped with my last bit of air... "Oh really?" He grinned. But he didn't stop. "Tell me how hot I am!" "You're hot! You're the hottest guy I've ever seen!"

"Tell me you want to have my pups." "I want to have your pups," I gasped, "Please, stop, I have to pee!"

"And you'll do anything I say for the rest of the day." He added. "Yes, yes, anything you say!" I managed to squeak out. He let go of my feet, finally satisfied but it was too late. To my horror I felt a warm gush of urine soak my pants leaving a big yellow puddle on the carpet. I lay panting, unable to move. When I finally caught my breath I began to cry. "Alllllright." He said, " C'mon. Coooome on...." He coaxed me with an outstreched paw. "There there, you're okay." He stood me up and started to unbutton my shirt. "Let's get these nasty clothes off of you..." He dropped my shirt on the floor where it sopped up the urine and started tugging at my pants. "Erf. This wouldn't be a problem if you went natural like me. My oh my, what have we here?" I was now naked, my erection bobbing out straight ahead about as red as the rest of me must've been by then. "Not bad." He said, with a superior look of cool appraisal. "Turn around for me." I rolled my eyes, but I complied. "Hey, you're pretty sexy, wolfie. Why do you have to go and hide it under all those clothes?" "I...sometimes get erections at embarassing times."

"Like whenever you see a cute guy walk by? I hate to tell you, bud, but these don't help much." He said, looking up at me with his nose inches from my crotch. "I'm going to enjoy finally having my way with you... slave." He said with glee. "You're having too much fun with this!" I called after him as he disappeared into my closet. He returned with my bag of 'groceries'. "Look at all these goodies!" He said, digging through the bag, "Ooh! try this on," He said, pulling out my new leather puppy hood and bringing it up over my head. "Okay," I replied, giggling. "...but shouldn't we have a *mmf*." "Safe word?" He asked, securing the buckles in back. Sure, if you want me to stop, just click your heels together three times and say 'there's no place like home'. He tied a blindfold around my head and then he tied my wrists together behind my back. I could feel the knot just above the back of my wrists where I couldn't reach. "I got this out of one of your shoes," He said. "Guess clothes aren't completely useless." He bent me face down over the bed. "Hehe, comfy? You just wait here, buddy boy. I've got something special coming up." I heard him pad off, then silence...my heart was beating a mile a minute as I waited for whatever he had in store. Suddenly I felt the shock of something cold and wet on my balls. He was lubing them up. And then something ran across them with a scraping noise and I felt cool air tickling my skin. NO! It wasn't lube, it was shaving gel. The razor moved slowly across my balls, causing me to shiver, then up toward my tail hole and I felt the blade caress each cheek followed by the the feel of his short hot breaths on my sensitive pucker. That little scoundrel! He flipped me over and ran the cold steel around my sheath, little by little clearing off my entire private area. A cold washcloth wiped down my newly denuded nether regions and he slopped on another coat of cold wet stuff. I felt a ring slide down over my member and around my balls, trapping my erection at full mast. He lifted my legs and began rubbing more lube on my underside. Then he slid a finger into my tail hole. I immediately sucked in air and I tensed at the intrusion. Soon he was wiggling two fingers, then three, making me squirm and squeal. He had to wrap an arm around my thighs to keep me still while he invaded my ass. "Ooohhh puppy, so tight! Now what is a boy like you doing with a thing like this?" He asked as the dildo smacked against my ass, and ran along the back of my thighs. My heart quickened, as I felt the dildo move down and come to rest on my tail hole. A pressure started to build. He rotated and thrusted the dildo against my ass and little by little, it started going in. The head of the dildo popped through and I took in a sharp breath through gritted teeth. "Don't worry, puppy, it'll be alright. Just relax and take it." He said in a soothing voice. I tried to calm my beating heart as he slowly pushed the penis in deeper and deeper withdrawing a little, and thrusting again. Soon, the pain was muted out by the pleasure of having my tail hole stuffed. My tummy relaxed, and the rubber cock slid right in. "Wow, somebody was hungry! Guess it was that right size after all, huh puppy?" He cooed. He flipped me over, and my cock was pressed between my belly and the comforter. "Mrf!" I grunted in frustration. I was so hard I could bust pavement. Then he started fucking me in earnest. Deep and fast as his little paws could go, the dildo slammed into me sending jolts of pleasure up my cock. "Mmm I want to see you come, puppy. Do you want to come for me? Do you want to come for daddy?" I whimpered and nodded my head yes. Gods did I want it. "And are you ready to come now?" I nodded again... "Well, hold that thought, I'll be right back." Damn! He pulled my legs off the bed and slid on a pair of my bikini briefs to hold the dildo in place. "Don't go anywhere!" He padded off again. I rolled over and sat up on the bed, wincing as the base of the dildo was pressed flush with my tail. Then, I waited. I heard some clinking and the sound of something hitting the bed. Then the rubbing sound of rope being threaded through a hook. Of course I knew what it had to be. I felt the padded cuff close around my right ankle and click with a lock. Followed by a second one on my left. And then my legs went straight out as he pulled the rope taught, tying my feet to the corners of the bed. He put his paw on my chest, pushed me down onto my back and sat on my tummy. Then the blind fold came off and I saw a friendly furry face peering down at me. "This is only temporary, to make sure you don't run off." He brought his cell phone up to his ear and looked me straight in the eye as he pressed speed dial. "Hey Dougie! Yup, that's me! You doing anything right now? Well we're having a party over at Jake's house, you gotta come. Yup that's right, I was the first person he invited. You won't believe it here, man. He's got foosball and...what, you want to bring Mack? Hold on a second, let me ask Jake. Is that okay with you Jake? Hmmm, what was that?" I tried to say 'hell no, you little pipsqueak.' but it came out more like "MMF!" "You know I can't understand you when you mumble. If you've got something to say, Jakie, speak up!" He looked at me expectantly then turned back to his conversation. "...Naw, it's fine man. Bring him along. And bring some beer too. Yeah, see you in a few. Toodles!" He had just invited two of the hottest, straightest guys in the neighborhood over to my house, and they were going to see me like this! What the eff? I thrashed and hollered through my mask but that was about all I could do. He looked down at me and gave me a naughty grin. "Hey, if you don't chill out, I'm going to have to tickle you again." He gave my balls a quick tickle and kissed my cock head, then he wandered off downstairs. For the next ten minutes I listened to drawers opening and closing, choppng noises and the blender going on and off. That all stopped when the door bell rang. The bedroom door was open so I could hear Dougie and Mack as they entered. "Hey man, how you been!" Said the friendly voice of a short haired yellow lab. "I'm stoked to finally see the place. Ooh is that guacamole?! Sick!" "Hey man," the deeper voice of the gigantic Mack rang out, "Where do I put the beer? I gotta piss like a... racehorse." He chuckled. He was a race horse, after all. He clopped off down the hall to do his thing. "Hey, where's the birthday boy?" Asked Dougie, bouncy and energetic as always. "Oh he's a little... tied up at the moment. He'll be down in a second. Dig in man!" "You bet I will. Oh man, this is orgasmic. If I could I would marry you, Ronnie." "Hehe, well hey, you don't have to marry me to get some of my guac. I'll give you the recipe if you want." "No, it never comes out the same, man, you know that." How long was this pointless chatter going to go on? My arms were killing me, My cock was beginning to hurt from the ring and no matter how I ground against the bed, the dildo seemed to always slip a little short of the sweet spot and I couldn't get off. Ronnie was right though, with these ankle cuffs, I wasn't going anywhere. I growled in frustration. "Hey so where's the birthday boy?" Mack said, returning. I heard him pop a bottle cap off with his hoof and chug. "Oh, he's upstairs, chilling. I'll call him down." Bull. Shit. "Hey Jake, come down here! Dougie and Mack are here, let's get this party started!" He waited a minute, and then Doug called up. "Jake? Jake! What are you doing up there? Stop jerking off and get your ass down here!" The other two sniggered as he went on. Screw this, I thought, I am not letting that furball humiliate me like this. While the boys carried on, I managed to get the knot loose. I worked the cock ring off, wincing as I squeezed my balls through one at a time. Next I pulled the dildo out of my ass through a leghole in my briefs. The leg cuffs seemed hopeless though. Where were the keys? I couldn't find them with this limited vision... "Come on guys, let's see what's keeping him," Said Ronnie, the sound of his voice coming up the stairs. I frantically pulled at the straps on my mask as the voices of the three boys got closer and closer. I tugged at the mask and I was blinded when it got stuck over my ears... finally it came off and I caught sight of the keys... in the hands of my raccoon friend. He wore a smirk while the other two guys just stood there with their jaws hanging down by the floor. "What... the... Fuck..." Was all that Mack said. "I..I can explain!" I said, feeling sick to my stomach. "He he heee oh man, I can't believe you did it." Laughed Dougie, his hands on his knees. "I thought for sure you were full of crap, but you actually pulled it off!" "Haha, yeah man, you are smooth,' chuckled Mack, slapping Ronnie on the back, and nearly sending him sprawling. "Hey, what is this?" I asked, suddenly angry. "It's your birthday party, silly!" Said Ronnie. "What did you think?" "You mean to tell me you planned all this ahead of time?" "Uh huh." Ronnie nodded. "And that YOU GUYS knew about it the whole time?" "Uh huh." Dougie and Mack also nodded. "But you guys are all straight. Dougie, you know you love the ladies, you have a girlfriend! And I KNOW you like the pussy, Mack, you can't walk five steps without some getting thrown your way..." "Hehe," said Mack, shaking his head. "You've got a lot to learn about people, Jake." "How the hell didn't I see this coming?" "Because It was a SURPRISE!" Said Ronnie gleefully. "And I've seen you slobbering over these two since you moved in." "Was I really that obvious?" I asked, and they all threw me the same condescending look. "Everybody knows, dude." Said Doug. "It's cool, though. My girlfriend and I are Poly, and we go both ways." "I am gay," Said Mack, "But I'm on the DL. I like the attention I get from the ladies. And the guys who think they can't get with this," he added with a wink. "Is everybody in this neighborhood a freak?" I asked, incredulous. Pretty much, they all seemed to concur. "Frank and Gary?"

"Have a dungeon in their basement. They have kink parties on the weekend." Answered Doug. "Coach Hart?"

"He's a freak for fisting. Does a nice trick with a baseball bat, great for parties." "But surely not that little goodie two shoes, Sue?"

"Are you kidding? That little church mouse has spend more time under a frock than most priests. You don't think she needs those kneepads for praying do you?" "Even mean Mrs. Pratt?" I asked. She was a severe looking headmistress who lived down the street. "She and her husband are swingers," reported Ronnie. "And she's scary with a whip. Yeeowch!" Said Doug, wincing. "We've been here a lot longer than you, bud. We just had to make sure you were cool before we let you in the club, seeing as you're so...human." "I volunteered to be recon," said Ronnie. "Think of me as your envoy." "Uh. Huh. And just how did they pick you for this privelege, if I may ask?" He shrank a little looking abashed. "Okay, you got me. I may have had a little crush on you. And I may have taken a little extra time observing you. I couldn't help it!" He added quickly, raising his paws in defense. "Okay, guys you've had your fun, now let me outta these cuffs." "Sure thing," Said Rick, unlocking the leg cuffs as the other two guys came into the room. "They were getting in the way anyway." It was then that I got a side long view of the boys' cocks hanging out of their sheaths. "Wha-?" I was suddenly grabbed by either arm and held by my two friends as Ronnie slid my sticky underwear off of me. "Messy, messy," He tisked, as he surveyed the damage. "I should've known to put down a towel after what you did on the floor." "Oh well, we can housebreak him later," Said Dougie and they all chuckled. "Well, he's all stretched out, said Ronnie, slipping a finger into my hole to demonstrate. "Shall I do the honors?" "By all means, it's your show!" Said Dougie. Ronnie lined up with my hole and rammed his furry hips to my ass in one thrust knocking the wind out of me. I had no time to catch my breath before two throbbing erections pressed close to my face overwhelming me with the odor of sex. "Lick it, bitch." Said Mack, pressing his gargantuan apple against my lips. Ronnie pounded my prostate mercilessly as I licked at the rich precum dribbling from Mack's fountainhead. I couldn't get it into my mouth, but I licked it up and down as best I could, caressing his speckled baseball sized balls. After a few minutes he stepped back leaving me hungry for more. "My turn, pup!" Said Dougie mounting my face in two seconds flat. Did I mention he practiced MMA? Doug eased his muscular hips down, lowering his cock into my mouth, and smearing a trail of musky cum across my tongue. "Mmmm..." Dougie moaned, as my nose was buried in his sharp scented sac, "Warm. Now be a good boy and don't use any teeth." He started up a Rhythm and now I was taking a fucking from both ends. My erection must've been turning blue by now. If only I could reach... "Ah, ah ah, birthday boy," Said Mack, catching my arms. "You don't want us to have to tie you up again, do you? " "No sir..." "Good boy..." "Oh god, I'm gonna come," yelled Ronnie, his moans had grown quite loud by now, and I was worried about the neighbors until I remembered these were the neighbors. Ronnie rammed it home one last time and squirted into me, grunting and hollering, like a stuck pig. Meanwhile, Doug was steadily depositing a stream of precum into my muzzle as I sucked on his knot.

After resting on my belly a minute, Rick stepped away, pulling out, and lowered my legs gently on the bed. Mack released my arms and walked around to take his place. He made a circular movement with his hoof. Dougie paused for a moment to pull out and grab me by the shoulders. Mack grabbed my waist and they flipped me on my stomach. Ronnie lit a cigarette and watched the proceedings with his arms crossed.

Mack grabbed the bottle of lube off the bed and turned it upside down, covering his member in the slippery stuff. "Hmm, Gun Oil, my favorite!" He pressed his massive tool against my tail hole but it wouldn't budge. There was no way that thing was going to fit inside of me! "No sweat, I know just the trick." He lifted me up onto the bed and sat me on my haunches so I was balanced on a tripod of my two feet and his cock. "Now just take deep breaths and push, gravity will do the rest." His deep voice rumbling through his cock eased my tension. Slowly, inch by agonizing inch, the flared cockhead creeped its way into my ass, splitting me apart with its glacial onslaught. I didn't believe it would clear my hip bones but as he rolled his hips around in tight little circles to find the best angles, his plum shaped head finally made headway and popped in. Ronnie had finished three cigarettes by then. Once the widest point of his cock had entered me, he was able to gingerly slide his shaft in and out of my hole... gradually building up speed. Now that the tough part was over, he allowed me to lower my legs and bent me over the bed again, while Dougie took his position back at my mouth. Once again I was pounded from both ends, sucking down doggie juice while the gargantuan Clydesdale juiced my ass like a lemon. A few minutes later I broke from my daze to notice something was missing. Where was Ronnie?

"Hey guys! Pizza's here! Come on down here, and get some food!" "Finally, I'm starved! Hup!" Said Mack, hoisting me up with a grunt. He bear hugged me to his chest, carrying me down the stairs on his cock, into the dining room. He laid me down on the table next to Ronnie and the pizza. "Fuck yeah," Said Doug. "I've always wanted to do this!" "Don't worry," Ronnie whispered in my ear, "We told 'em not to use the hot bag." They plopped the entire pizza on my back , and I could immediately feel hot oil soaking into my fur. "Meat lover's supreme," Said Doug, as he eased into my mouth again, leaving another delicious trail of slime on my tongue. The smell of cum and italian sausage wafted through the air as Doug and Mack fucked me and devoured the pizza. And then they high fived. "Eiffel tower, baby." Yelled Doug with a mouth full of pizza. "Yeah boiiii!" Roared Mack and they tried to chest bump, which didn't work very well with me in between. I groaned and jerked at the sudden two pronged intrusion and I squirted a volley of precum on the table, which was quickly mashed into my belly fur as I slid back and forth between the two males. The feeling of Mack's cock plowing my guts was more than I could take, I wanted to crawl away but there was no where to go skewered between the two cocks as I was. I began a steady moan, shaking and panting and drooling. "Hey guys," Said Ronnie, "I think he's getting close..." "Okay, I'm ready," Reported Doug. "I've been holding it back for a while now, what about you, Mack?" "You know me, I can come any time. Get the cake."

Ronnie dimmed the lights and ran into the kitchen as the boys flipped me on my back like a rotisserie. In came Ronnie with the cake, which was shaped like a big penis and covered in 23 candles. His hard on was once again visible and once the cake was safely deposited on my belly he started jacking off . The boys all began to sing in time to their thrusts.

"Happy BIRTHday to YOU, happy BIRTHday to YOU, happy BIRTHday dear JA-KEYyyyyy." I let out another loud moan around Doug's cock.

"Happy BIRTHday....TO....YOUuuuuuuuuuu." With a final thrust from Mack's gargantuan tool, I came all over the cake. The boys pulled out and let loose as well, drenching the cake in our seed and putting out all 23 candles in the process.

They put the cake aside and brought me immediately to my unsteady feet; after all it was my responsibility to serve the cake. Ronnie turned on the lights and we all ate cake and drank beer and laughed and fucked, and I didn't even care about the stains.

The End