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Katlego could vomit. His parents were giggling. Giggling!. They didn't even care. How could they not care. They've embarrased themselves, the club, him. They've jeopardized his future. And all for what?

"I'm going to have to have you both expelled from the club," Mike said, sternly watching the raccoon and wild dog.

"Please, no, there has to be some other way. You guys are sorry, right? Please say you're sorry," Katlego begged them all.

"Now, that would be lying, son," his father laughet, "and we wouldn't want to set a bad example."

"I think you've done nothing but set a bad example. This is already all over the club," Mike lectured. "You've scandalized yourselves, the entire club, myself, and especially your own son. And I ask why?"

"Because it was fun," his dad said.

"Fun?" Mike raised an eybrow and tapped the desk with the pencil. "That's it?"

"Pretty much," his mother remarked.

"Why?" Katlego exploded, "Why did you do this? You were having sex on the twelth fairway! Why?"

"Well, it has such a good view of the stars through the trees."

"Much better than the bunker off forteen."

"Though that bunker is more comfortable than the eigth green."

"Well, pretty much all the bunkers are more comfortable than the eigth green."

"You mean to tell me, to admit to, having sex in all of the bunkers on the course?" Mike growled.

"Not all of them. We hadn't gotten to the ones on two yet. Heh, ones on two."

"How long have you been doing this?" Katlego cried.

"Having sex? Since before you were born, dear."

"I think he means on the course."

"Oh, only about a week or two."

"And you've... fornicated in most of the bunkers on the course?" Mike disbelieved.

"It would have been more but Itu got tired after three rounds the other night."

"Work's a pain right now."

"You two cannot possibly be serious."

"Why wouldn't we be?"

"At your age, having that much," the badger said.

"Oh, yes, we are rather horny. Though admittedly much of it isn't vaginal intercourse."

"There's anal."

"And oral."

"Fingering."

"Masturbation."

"Enough!" the badger yelled. "You two should be beyond ashamed of yourselves. And here you are. I've never heard such discusting things come out of my own children's mouths let alone two as distinguished as you. This cannot be tolerated. You're both gone. I'll write up a letter this evening stating how your actions were reprehensible. Katlego, I will emphasize that you had nothing to do with this and you should not be held accountable in any way for their actions. What do you two have to say?"

"Well, we were planning on quitting anyway."

"Saves us the trouble of filling out the resignation letter."

"Get out of my sight."

***

Katlego followed his parents until they were outside. "Mom, dad, why did you do that?" The evening had set long ago. It had been the previous night when Katlego's parents had been caught. And just this evening Mike had called them all in.

"We already told you, it was fun."

Katlego could have cried. Could have dropped to his knees. "You know I'm being looked at by the professional tour. This would be a P.R. nightmare for them if it got out, and they're going to hear about it. I doubt they'll take me on now even if I do the course in eigteen shots in tomorrow's tournament."

"Oh, you're competing in that tournament tomorrow?"

"Of course!"

"You've played alot this year."

"I have to! I need to do well to get into the professional leagues!"

"Well, it just seems like you've spent an awful lot of time playing golf and not alot of time with your wife...,"

"Oh, not this again. Karen is not going to leave me for that loony rabbit."

"Tomorrow's the last day of Zanyland's operating season, right? They had that new roller coaster, Karen liked roller coasters, right? Did you get a chance to go with her down there?"

"No, but she understands..., I mean, she's sacrificed alot for me, yes, but that's what marriage is about."

"True, marriage is about sacrifice. But what have you sacrificed for her as of late?"

"I..., there've been times..., Look, if I make the pros the money will be good. She can go to any amusement park in the world anytime she wants."

"Just not with her husband."

"Of course she could probably find someone else. But I guess that really wouldn't be a problem for you. All that money you'll have I'm sure you can find a nice dozen hot chicks to replace her."

"I'd never! She'd never! I love her, and she loves me. Just because I didn't go on one stupid roller coaster ride with her!"

"No, because you didn't go on lots of stupid roller coaster rides with her. Every time you went and played your stupid game instead of riding with her counts."

"It's not a stupid game."

"No more stupid than riding roller coasters. I mean, yeah, allowing oneself to be dragged the top of a giant hill in a box with wheels on it only to be released and go through a twisted maze of metal at high speed doesn't seem like the most intelligent thing to do. But you're just smacking a ball with a stick across the yard. Just to see if you can get it in that little hole in fewer tries."

"There is no way alcohol was not involved in the creation of that sport," his father commented.

Katlego fell silent. "You don't really think she'd leave me, do you?"

His mother's face softened. "Itu, take a walk. I'm going to talk with Katlego alone."

The wild dog walked off. The elder raccoon started to hike in a different direction, and beckoned her son to follow. "I think it's time we had 'the talk.'"

"The talk?"

"What talk?"

"The sex talk."

"Um, I'm almost thirty, mom. Besides, we had that talk back when you found Saqui's magazines and thought they were mine."

"This is a different talk. That's the 'sex can be dangerous if you're not careful and you should wait until you've found the right one,' talk. Not that you listened then, you weren't as quiet as you thought you were with Tina and Mileena and Sassy. And the others whose names I've forgotten."

"That was it. I never slept with anyone else. Besides, I thought they were the ones."

"Yeah, but that's off topic. This is the 'sex can be a good part of a healthy relationship,' talk. Though admittedly that's really not that common of a talk. Anyway, sex can be a good part of a healthy relationship.

"What I mean is..., Well, your father and I have been having sex. Alot as of late. I know you don't want to hear this." She stopped for a moment. "Damn, I just realize we never got our games back from Mike. Those things cost two hundred each. Anyway, yes, we've gotten some of those workout video games. We've been going for long hikes. We're considering getting some bicycles next year and doing a lot of riding."

"Have you talked to a doctor about all of this? You shouldn't be putting yourselves through this."

"Yes, we've seen a doctor. He says we're actually quite healthy for our ages."

"But the sex. See, we haven't had much the past ten years. And it's a bit of a regret for both of us. Not for the sex itself, but for the chance to indulge in one another. To pleasure one another and be pleasured by one another. To enjoy one another on any number of levels.

"And I'm worried you aren't doing that with Karen. She loves you, yes. She hasn't even considered leaving you. But if you don't treat her right, one day she'll wake up and realize that she hasn't been treated right."

"I treat her right," he argued. "I'd never hurt her, if you'd think that. I'd never...,"

"Son, there's a difference in not treating someone wrong and treating them right. Trust me, I know the difference on that one," she swallowed.

He glanced down, "Do you think she'd leave me?"

"I don't know. All I can do is tell you to not do something you'd regret."

Katlego looked down at the ground. He didn't want to give up on his dreams. But he didn't want to lose his wife, either. He didn't know what to do.

He looked to his mother and asked, "Tell me what to do."

The old raccoon sighed and put her paw on his shoulder. "Katlego, son, dear, I mean this from the bottom of my heart. Go home and fuck your wife."

***

Katlego entered his apartment and sighed. Karen stepped out, wearing her nightgown. "How'd things go?" she asked quietly. She already knew of the scandal her in-laws had caused.

"They're being kicked out of the club," he walked in and sat down on the couch.

"Oh, dear. Why did they do it? Did they say?" She sat next to him.

"They said it was fun."

"Fun? Seriously?"

"I'm sure it was, for them. You know about this tournament tommorrow?"

"Do you think the scouts will be turned away by your parent's..."

"Possibly, if I'm not on top form tomorrow. Even then, it's doubtful." he looked at her. "You know how I started this."

"Yeah, you came home so plastered that night, I thought you'd been fired from your job or something."

"Heh, yeah,"

"You hit two holes-in-one in the same game," she smiled at him.

"Yeah, haven't hit one since. But Mike said if I kept it up I might make the pros. So I tried to keep it up, and it looks like things are headed that way. But, you remember what I told you I wanted? A big house with huge lawn. Just so some night I could take you down onto that lawn," he wrapped his fingers between hers, "and make love to you under the stars."

"That was always my fantasy," she said.

"Yeah, we tried it camping that one night, then there were those loud hicks up all night in the slots on either side of us."

She snorted a laugh. "Not to mention the lack of actual grass. No shortage of rocks though."

"Yeah, but you remember that promise, that fantasy. Out on the lush grass, buck naked. Making love on the lush grass under the stars."

"Yeah," she laughed slightly. They were quiet for some time. "What about it?"

She looked into her husband's eyes. Eyes that shown with a hint of mischief. "Nothing, nothing. Though, would you mind putting some clothes on? I want to show you something out on the twelth fairway.