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I realized a few minutes later that following my father, who greeted the officer, and stepping a short way down the street as the policeman suggested was the easy part and that everything seemed to get more difficult by the moment.

~ "Mrs. Attent is causing problems. She keeps walking onto our property and yelling at my family. My mother died and we are all here because of that." ~ Or at least that is what I wanted to come out when the officer asked what the problem was, but when dad pointed to me what came out was.

"She, she's yelling and stuff and she can't be in our yard and..." It was more the fact my father was shaking his head that brought me to a stop than the officers frown.

"Son why don't you start from the beginning." He spoke.

Honestly I don't remember the words. I wasn't really babbling just spitting out words as I thought them up to explain. When I finished the officer spoke.

"You know we do deal with domestic and neighborly disputes but I'm not really getting what's going on. Was there a fight or just an argument." I could tell he was trying to understand exactly what had gone on.

"There's going to be." I responded which was followed by a quick bark of 'Ben!' that came from my father. Really though his voice was what I needed, a familiar sound to rally against or with. "I called the sheriff because she doesn't have the right to come over here and yell at us. She is going to keep coming over and causing problems. My family is all here and we are not going to have a wild party. A barbecue and play games. All she wants to do is yell and tell us what to do, then she threatens to call the sheriff. I called to stop this now, before there is a fight."

I think the other officer had just walked over or had been standing there for just a minute because he then asked, "Did you threaten to beat her up?"

I half choked, "She said my mother had no class so I told her she had to leave or I would force her to."

"Please think carefully." I was told.

I already knew the answer I had played the scene over in my head several times. "I told her to get off our property and if she returned I would make her leave."

"By force?" ~ "If I had to, yes." I answered.

"Young man you can not threaten people. That is a very serious matter." I tried to come up with a good reply. This wasn't like any argument I had before, it was slow and different but there was no way I was going to lose!

The ferret has crept up behind the officer and was looking at me now over the back of the police car. "How many times can a person trespass on a property before they are arrested?" The question seemed to stop both officers as I continued, "She keeps coming onto our property and causing problem. She is disturbing the entire neighborhood by yelling at my family who has done nothing wrong. It doesn't matter how many cars we have, we haven't done anything wrong! I called the sheriff so you would stop her so I wouldn't have to. This isn't going to end until you tell her to go home and mind her own business!"

"That is enough Ben." My father finally spoke. "Although I am not happy with what he did he may have been right. Mrs. Attent has trespassed several times, perhaps jail time would do her some good. BUT!" He nearly shouted waving a hand at the ferret. "My son has never hurt someone in anger. Shouted, yelled, sometimes threatened but not actually harmed someone. I also have my doubts that he actually threatened her with physical harm."

"That's not true, he said he would claw me to bits!" Mrs. Attent protested.

My fathers laugh seemed to leave her stunned and me wondering, "Now that would be a outright lie. My son is far more creative. I can remember him offering to help a truck drive someone over, tying someone up and stabbing them with fence posts, even threatening to put someone in the same hospital bed as his mother. I find 'clawing you to bits' to be rather lacking with his verbal skills."

"I might have said I'd toss her in the street but it would only be to get her off our property." I added. I wasn't sure I had said it but I knew that I had thought it.

"I believe we will go back inside. There will be no more problems so long as Mrs. Attent keeps to her side of the street." It might have worked, or maybe it didn't because when the officers asked Mrs. Attent if that was okay she nearly blew up.

"What about all the cars! What about all the people, all the loud music and yelling." She sounded more shrew then ferret at the moment but what surprised me more was my father. The man who was calm and collected. Who took verbal assault like like a light rain and just as dismissable.

"My wife is DEAD! If you hear any loud noises it's probably someone CRYING! If someone drinks it's to help ease the PAIN. You showed how much you care by not even responding when asked if you would like to attend the funeral. My family comes together to accept my wife's passing and support each other." I watched feeling a lump bigger than an apple in my throat as he took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "DON'T knock on my door, don't step on my grass. You are not welcome anywhere near my property. I will have you arrested and press full charges including emotional stress if you do. If you did care at all you would let one day pass even if it was a little noisy." He gave a nod to the officer and put his paw on my shoulder turning me around and I could almost feel him shaking though the touch.

We walked back to the house with his hand still on my shoulder stopping several feet from the steps as he gave me a firm squeeze. "Ben I understand why you did it but from now on leave the police out. They should be your last resort, try to solve your problems on your own." The way his tone was alerted me that any argument was useless. He didn't want to hear me talk he wanted me to listen.

"Did you get something to eat? Several people brought back leftovers. Go to the kitchen." He said in response to my shrug. Food was already waiting on a plate although by the time I thought about Shelly it was already to late since my uncle and a few others seemed to be ready to force feed me if necessary before they were going to allow me to leave. I had to sit through several minutes of my grandmother's lecture on appropriate reasons to call the police and I scarfed down the food as quickly as possible to get away.

I was fairly surprised she didn't comment on how I ate as well letting me go after the correct apology and promises not to waste precious police time again. As I went in search of Shelly I was quickly directed to my own room standing in the door to see all of my younger cousins, including Sam and Jenny who had shown up, and two adults who I wasn't exactly sure who they were.

There was a cribbage board set up on my desk with two extra chairs, two games of checkers going on my bed, one being a travel kit and a large game of monopoly being played on the floor. I guess I really shouldn't have worried but seeing Shelly kneeling at my bed seemed to put me at ease giving a smile to the hellos' that ran through the room.

"So... What happened." James nearly shouted making sure he was heard first.

"Well Dad told Mrs. Attent she wasn't allowed over and Grandma wants to be sure I don't call again unless it's important." Was my answer.

"Were the officers upset?" The male adult asked, I still had no clue who he was.

"I don't think so. At least if she calls the sheriff later they know what is going on." I stated stepping over and around the others so I could carefully sit on the end of the bed near Shelly.

"Ben we could use your help for a minute." The call came from the hallway. I was able to give her a little grin with a head shake as I got back up.

Honestly I still think it was planned out, or at the very least my name was passed on to the next person who would either require my assistance, ask me questions, or need me to fetch something. I was constantly stopped and talked with about what was going on and if I was really okay but really it felt like they were trying to tie up my time and keep me away from Shelly. I wasn't even really able to play football since I had been drafted with Uncle Jace and my cousin Sam to go restock from the store. I was supposedly going cause I knew where everything was and it would make the trip faster. Still it took over an hour and a half and when we got back with more buns, sodas, chips, condiments, deserts, and things for the morning the game was called to a halt and everybody ate.

That was the only time I spent with Shelly sitting on her back steps eating and even though it was still early Mr. Thaner called her back inside when we finished. I did however get a kiss on the cheek and gave one in return our noses almost touching as she told me she'd see me later.

There were still some smaller games, cake, pie, and ice cream along with movies but now that Shelly wasn't there it seemed my demand had dropped as well only having to get up once during the movie to find more laundry soap because the box was empty.

My room was crowded that night because so many had decided to stay. I spent the whole night being startled awake by strange noises or sudden jolts to my bed when someone either hit it or got up in the middle of the night. By morning I was ready to crawl out the window just for some peace but instead sat in the corner of the kitchen watching the rush of everyone as they ran around. Aunt Yellow came in and dropped Jewel in my lap telling me to be useful and I spent the rest of the morning cuddling, bouncing, feeding, and having my fur yanked out by the small pawfulls.

Thankfully with in a few hours nearly everyone was gone with the exception of Amber's family and Martha my second cousin or something who had been the outspoken one on the boat. Both were going to be staying the week to help us out and clear out the rest of moms unclaimed stuff.

Even though there was no reason to I did go back to school on Monday. It was very odd, even the walk with Shelly was weird since she was so quiet while everyone else seemed to avoid me. I guess it was known that I collapsed plus I had said I almost died in class so I guess the other kids just kept their distance. It seemed that only a few kids and a couple of my friends even knew my mother had died.

Classes were every short except for the first and last which were the first Tier Tests of the week. Mrs. Lashton kept telling me I didn't have to bother with the test but I tried anyway answering every question even if I knew the answer would be wrong.

The whole week seemed warped in a way with everyone so exited and lots of kids talking about he trips planned over the break while I just plodded forward. I had only told a few classmates that I had extra classes at Borddon. Each time there were looks but when I told them I'd rather do that than repeat the tier they totally agreed while offering apologies.

It was right after the graduation ceremony that Shelly and I had what you could call, or what I called, our first verbal fight. Everybody was cheering and happy and things were a little nuts, after all our entire class had passed and each of us were going to the next tier. I had found myself amidst the moving groups of happy bodies looking for my father and feeling upset and irritated although I really couldn't point to a reason why.

Being grabbed from behind had set me off turning and forcing the person back even as I realized who it was. The action didn't seem to put her off much, "So do you wanna have dinner at my house tomorrow?"

"Are you sure your dad wants me there?" Whether I had really meant it or not didn't seem to stop how nasty it sounded nor the fact I was suddenly ready and wanting an all out shouting match.

Her little frown didn't mean a thing at the moment but her words seemed to pull something. "What you don't want to come?"

Of course I wanted to go, but I didn't want to say it. "I don't want to sit there and have your Dad glaring at me."

She shook her head saying, "Don't worry he won't."

I had raised my voice just a little, I couldn't help it or maybe I could have, "What do you know! I can feel it every time you get close!"

Maybe it should have seemed cute, her light little growl but I had never seen her pull her lips back like that nor ever attempt to sound pissed. "NO I just spent several days with your family implying that I lack enough intelligence to understand that I have to leave you alone. If you want to be alone FINE!"

I knew I was wrong from the moment she started speaking, of course she knew. I wanted to stop her, to apologize, heck I wanted to tell her she was wrong that I didn't want to be alone. I did nothing however as she turned and walked off almost running after the first few steps. I have no clue how long I stood there just staring at where she had been as people moved off and started leaving the auditorium.

I guess Billy had seen me standing there because my body was suddenly rocked by the hard punch to my upper arm. He was a small bunny hybrid who dreamed himself as a boxing champ often landing hard blows to arms and shoulders of the unaware. When I turned to glare at him part of me was wondering why he looked scared as he took several steps back. Several things clicked as I took a deep breath hearing my own low vibrating yowl cut out. I must have started with a hiss because my mouth was still wide open and I knew I was showing every fang I had.

Where my noise probably had every kid and adult watching me the next sound, a loud *POP* had dozens of parents jump and students quickly clearing the area. "Follow me." Mrs. Hoepins crisp words came from behind as she lead me outside through the side door next to the stage. With a firm grip on my shoulder she pulled me several feet down the wall as the metal door slammed shut.

I was expecting a lot of things including disappointment and a long lecture as she turned me to face her. I struggled as she pulled me closer trying to pull back to the wall before I realized the embrace was a hug. "You must really wish your mom was here."

It was like a punch in the gut, no worse, it felt like I had been ripped up and broken apart into large chunks that were tossed out onto the ground. I couldn't breath, my heart felt like it was being crushed in a trash compactor, and my legs suddenly felt like they didn't exist. I could feel her grip tighter supporting me as she held me to her body. Just those simple words had brought back waves of memories and emotions all crammed into the space of my first few strong sobs.

Months ago mom had noticed my less than average grade in math. I had told her to leave it, she of course couldn't. Funny it wasn't so much of an argument as a deal we had struck. I pass the tier and she would take us out to Reanno's on graduation night. There was nothing that would have motivated me more than that. Sure lots of places serve fish and seafood but Reanno's made anything that existed in water taste far better than it should. Expensive, sure but it left me working hard for a few weeks. It was probably one of the few places my family had always enjoyed each an every time leaving with not just a full stomach but a great memory too.

I doubt it was something dad knew about except if he had heard it in passing, a deal between mom and me and their was no way he would remember. What was worse was not the fact that I was going to miss out on an awesome meal but the connection that we would never dress up again as a family and eat out together. Reanno's was the ultimate place for fishy food any some of our greatest memories for family and friends and the mere thought was now making me ill.

Mrs. Hoepins was holding me so tight and rocking me that for just a second I imagined that this was my mom and she was so proud of me. The second ended and I broke even more unable to understand what she was trying to tell me. I could feel myself being pulled up and guided as I was half carried half stumbled until I was pushed down dropping hard into a plastic chair.

Again I was pulled against a soft blouse and firm chest beneath being hugged firmly as I cried. There wasn't a single thing in the world I cared about at that moment. I was filled with so much loss that it felt like my ribs were going to break from the pressure inside and my constant shaking sobs weren't helping.

A long while had obviously passed, what had been early evening was now becoming full night as I left the classroom with my father. Several people had come in from time to time mostly teachers I think, checking on what had happened. There was a congratulation party with soda and snack that I was supposed to go to and Dad informed me that he left our phone number on the wall along with the others if anyone wanted it. I listened as I slowly walked to the car but I wasn't able to really think past all the things that I could never do again with my mother. It was several slow shaky steps that almost had me on the ground sobbing again as I saw her car stopping to reach for the front passenger door instead of the usual backseat she wouldn't be driving me anywhere anymore either.

At home I threw myself on the bed not even bothering with the light. Dad came in a few minutes later flicking on the light and pulling off my shoes before he forced me to sit up. He was insistent until I finished a full glass of water and ate several pieces of cheese with some sliced baloney. He left the rest of the plate on my desk flicking off the light as he left leaving me sitting in the darkness.

The light slowly adjusted allowing some glow from outside to filter through the window and bring forth shapes and shadows. The darkness was easier for me it seemed releasing most of the grip that seemed to control me for the past few hours allowing me for the first time to truly realize that I had just passed the third tier. There were only two more years left of school before I would have to try and make something of my life. I had no clue what I wanted to do but for a moment I thought maybe I could take more classes and be a doctor or medical person. Would Mrs. Hoepins want me to work with her or maybe...

It was just to much my mind started to wander off again back to the past so I yanked off my shirt and pulled the covers back to get into bed. I didn't really realize I had fallen asleep until I was struggling out on my blankets desperate to get to the bathroom. My dreams had centered around a huge building with long hallways and rooms, the restroom sign always seeming to be down a ways or around the next corner.

I sighed and shivered with release trying to feel how much damage I had done to my underwear. I had nearly wet the bed leaking out enough urine to wet the front of my crotch and part of my pants as well. I was sure I heard a noise as I raced back to my room naked covering my privates with the dry back of my pants. I quickly turned on the light and dove for my dresser and a clean pair of undies pulling out some shorts as well. The clock on the wall over my desk told me it was just a few minutes after five a.m. As I walked to flick off the lights and push the door close I felt a thump through the floor and a noise. I waited seconds prickling with anxiety until my ears swiveled picking up what might have been a quiet moan that came from my parents room.

My heart stopped and my body froze. 'No please no, no please no.' my mind repeated over and over this could not be happening again. Besides the roar in my ears and the pounding in my chest my ears finally told me that there were still other noises and another jolt that seemed to radiate from the floor. The terror quickly faded but the fear and worry still remained leaving me with the need to know what was happening.

He could still be hurt or really need my help, I told myself as I opened my door and took the few steps into the hall. My hand was on the door now but for some reason I just couldn't seem to make myself turn the handle finally deciding on action I yanked, "Oh god, Lucy." I could hear the choked words. I had a split second trying to pull my hand back instead of pushing forward as my body was preparing to do.

The problem was my hand was slick allowing the knob to snap back loudly before I could really duck back out, "Ahh.. Ben." *Click * I waited several seconds before trying the handle again and opening the door enough to peek inside.

My dad was sitting on the far side of the bed looking straight at me. I really didn't see much more than an outline since the small table lamp was on behind him lighting up part of the room. "Come ..ere." His voice cracked as he called to me.

I could see when I finally turned the corner of the bed that his cheeks and muzzle were soaked from tears. He patted the bed next to him and I barely had time to sit down before he was crushing me. I only had slightly watery eyes as I tried to hold him back as he cried on my shoulder. There was only a few parts I could understand of what he was saying like he was sorry which he said several times and he squeezed me even tighter when he said 'God I love her.' It was hard for me to sit there but I knew that he needed me now and that I wasn't the only one in real pain. I know one thing I was glad of was that our guests had left a few days ago and we wouldn't be accidentally walked in on.

I was told later that it helps to share but right then I all I could think of was that I had to hold him because he wouldn't be able to hold on to me if I broke down. It took time for my dad to finally stop but after several dozen back pats and rubbing he finally let go. "I want.. I'm sorry. You can sleep here tonight." He finished speaking softly.

I was shocked in a way by the offer. I mean I couldn't even remember ever sleeping in my parents bed even though I had been teased about it when I was much younger. "Okay." I had no clue why I even said it but that did seem to make my dad give a weak smile as he picked a towel off the floor and started scrubbing his cheeks.

He gave me several looks as he tried to clean himself up before I realized he was waiting for me so I crawled across the bed pulling myself under the covers. Mom's side, my brain suddenly told me but there was no scent or indication at all that she had been here. Of course it had been what weeks since she had laid on this bed. I ended up on my side turned away from my father with my eyes closed waiting.

When he finally finished what ever he was doing there was a click from the lamp and he laid down pulling on the covers. "You can cry if you want to." he told me.

"I don't want to." Was my answer and at the moment it was the truth. Actually the real truth was I wanted to be back in my own bed. It was just starting to get bright in the room when I was finally sure dad had fallen asleep and I carefully pealed back the covers and left the room as quietly as possible.

Waiting hadn't been easy and I really wasn't tired so instead of heading to my room I went to the kitchen instead. With a little bit of time I had a full plate of crispy bacon and two eggs along with the left over cheese and baloney which I had retrieved from my room. I devoured it all leaving only what I had left behind on the stove for my father before I washed the few dishes and went back to my bedroom. With my nearly over full belly and the lazy Saturday morning light of my room I crawled back into bed and fell asleep in moments.

We basically slept half the Saturday away. I don't think my father got up till almost noon with me following behind a little later. He did spend a few hours in the garage before coming back in and showering while I watched television. The rest of the day we watched movies and ate a delivered pizza and popcorn.

Sunday was spent going through the store room since dad told me his plan was to totally clean up the house over the next two weeks before I started Borddon. We would toss anything really broken or useless that couldn't be given away. The rest would be packed up boxes of things we no longer used so they could be given away and hopefully move everything left to the garage. He also wanted me to go through my own closet and room and pack any clothes that I no longer wore.

"I'll buy you a few new sets of clothes for school and I also plan on selling the suburban." He explained several things, not that they were really new I had overheard several different people urging my dad to make a new start, some even suggesting moving.

"Are we going to move?" I finally asked.

"No!" There was not even a seconds hesitation. "Your mother and I had talked several times about cleaning things up. I think it's about time we did what she wanted right?" So we spent the day picking through boxes, moving things around, and pretty much getting dusty and dirty. Later in the afternoon he had me stop and ordered me to shower and clean up.

I took my time and as I headed to my room my father went into the bathroom behind me which I thought was weird because he had his own bathroom. Now there is one thing I can say, just laying naked on your bed with clean fluffy fur after a hot shower can leave you very relaxed.

I had just laid there at first doing nothing but after a while I was running my paws and claws through my clean fur tickling my belly and just enjoying the feeling. As my claws barely brushed my fur I ran my paw all the way down my body shivering as I crossed my waist and traced down my thigh. It was a tickly and pleasant feeling and at first I hadn't realized how pleasant until I brushed across my half erect penis. Well I am a male and I will admit I started to play with myself as I continued tickling and rubbing my belly.

The knock on the door nearly had me on the ceiling, claws desperately hooked holding on. I shot upright as I tried rolling away from the door getting one leg off the edge with my arm pressed to my privates trying to cover up as my father took a step into the room. "Ben... Hurry up and get dressed. Did you forget dinner?" He closed the door as he stepped back out.

I had expected, well something much different as my heart tried to return from its super sprint pace. It still took several seconds to register he was wearing a pair of nice slacks and a white dress shirt, Dinner? I was out several minutes later in a pair of nice pants and a shirt from the closet walking into the living room where dad seemed to be waiting.

His little head shake had be blushing harder than I had in years wondering if he was going to say something. I turned away as he stepped close and ruffled my ears, "There is a lock on the door. Come on let's go."

'That was it?' I wondered as we walked outside. I had made it to the car before seeing dad wasn't even close. It took a full sprint to catch up as he knocked on the door to Shelly's house.

"You did forget didn't you." I had no time to ponder as the door opened and she stood there inviting us inside. After the hellos Shelly told us that her father was in the kitchen and my dad left us alone.

"I'm sorry." I finally said after several moments of silence.

"Are you alright? Your dad said you weren't feeling well." There was definitely some concern in her voice and I was left trying to explain.

"I... well it was just that..." I wanted to tell her everything from saying sorry again to the fact that I hadn't been sick to asking to make sure she wasn't upset with me the problem was I just didn't know how to start. I guess I was far to familiar with arguments and didn't know enough about a real apology.

"It's fine." She told me guessing most of my problem.

"Shelly I am really sorry." Her head shake and again telling me it was okay made me start babbling it all out at once. "I didn't want to yell at you or make you go away. I didn't want to be alone...." I kept talking and explaining not just how I felt but everything that had happened that evening including how I felt about my mother and some of the things that I would have considered private. I had kept going telling her how I found my father crying but when I snapped my mouth shut she reached out and hugged me.

"If your feeling mad or upset just say so. And I know my dad woke me up sometimes too." She told me.

"I think that is enough Shelly." The gruff voice came from off to the side and sorta surprised both of us. I jumped half startled turning to find both our fathers standing there with my father so close that I was shocked I hadn't seen him and he was smirking at me.

"Dinner is ready." Mr. Thaner announced.

The table seemed crowded with four of us sitting there and the food and plates taking all the extra space. After things were passed around and everyone was served Mr. Thaner seemed to restart a conversation that they had already been discussing. "There isn't anything I can think of and like I said Ben had already decided on a gift to our family." I started across the table watching as she pulled up her sleeve and jingled the bracelet at me watching as I smiled in return.

"Well this isn't quite about that. I know none of our old clothes would do either of you any good but were cleaning a lot of things out of the house and garage. I 'm not going to bother with a yard sale we'll just donate everything. I just wanted to check if there was anything you might want or need before we get rid of it."

My fathers explanation seemed to be taken in but after a few bites all he said was, "I'll think about it." We talked, ate, and even had a little fun and when the meal was over my father proposed something. "This was a nice evening, we could do this every Sunday. Next time could be at our house."

I could feel Mr. Thaner's eyes as they darted my way, "I don't... Well every week is a bit much." I was a little surprised by his response.

"How about every two weeks. Ben is going to be starting Borddon the next morning. I'm sure he could use a good meal and friends before he starts." My father suggested.

I watched as his muzzle twitched a few times before he nodded and spoke. "Alright Shelly, Ben go ahead and put your dishes in the sink and see if there is something to watch." Mr. Thaner informed us.

I got up first and even though Shelly was closer I pushed past and stuck my dishes in the sink grinning as I turned back. She looked at me a second before reaching out to set her dish on the counter and with a smirk jumped back and ran out of the kitchen. It took a few seconds and by the time I reacted she was already to the doorway with me leaping to follow.

"BEN!!" My dad called as I turned the corner but it did nothing to stop my charge into the living room where Shelly caught my arm and pulled me in close for a hug. I was caught with a flash of memory staring at her muzzle and looking into her eyes. We were close enough to see how the fur laid across the edges of our noses and it was not even an inch that I needed to move to kiss her. Shelly pulled me just a little closer pressing our bodies together as well so I turned my neck so I could keep our lips touching.

It wasn't anything more than our noses pressed together but we stayed like that for several minutes until the clatter of some dishes pulled us apart. She had the biggest smile as we kept watching each other until she pulled on my arm and drew me towards the couch. Shelly literally shoved me down before going and turning on the T.V. and flipping a few channels before sitting down and snuggling in next to me.

By the time our parents came back in we still weren't really paying much attention to the show. Shelly was pressed to my chest hugging my waist and I was looking down petting her head and fiddling with her ears.

When dad sat down next to me I did look up and around seeing Mr. Thaner sitting down in a chair brought from the kitchen. No looks, no words, and again I almost felt like something was off. Shelly though did sit up and we all watched the rest of the program together along with the next one.

When it ended and dad suggested we head home Shelly gave me one more squeeze and I couldn't help trying to apologize once again. "It's alright Ben really. I mean, it did hurt when you said I didn't know what it was like but I do understand." We were outside when she pushed past her dad and stopped me on the stairs. "I don't care what anyone else says Ben. I love you."

"I, I love you too." I spit out sounding tactless but smiling anyway.

She just giggled and kissed my cheek turning to face her father, "I still have choices." She told him making me wonder what they were talking about.

Back home dad gestured me to step in first as I turned on the light his hands fell on my shoulders. "Do you really love her Ben?" I was given more than a few seconds thought before he added, "Think of it this way, if she died tomorrow how would you feel?"

Just those simple words shook me to my very center it was hard to even think as my dad just stood there waiting for me to answer. No Shelly, no best friend, no person who was willing to help me cope, but it was so much more than that we were doing more stuff together now but we had always done things together.

I tried to push away such feeling, and worry as dad began massaging my shoulders. "I would lose one of the few people who is important in my life." The words tumbled out as the simplest truth I could tell.

"Special?" His question came. It was hard to just stand there and I was blinking on tears so I just nodded not sure I could talk. My dad took a step so he could hug me from behind. "Good you should always treasure such people. I'm glad you apologized for whatever you did. It's always better to say your sorry than to keep quiet but remember one thing Ben. Just because you love someone doesn't mean they have to be a girlfriend okay. It's fine to just have a special close friend, you're young and you don't have to decide now."

"I have choices." I suddenly guessed the earlier meaning.

"Always. Remember in the kitchen when you said it didn't matter. Well your family will always press you and try to make sure you find a nice female feline, even me, so I am going to give yo some really good advice. It always matters but sometimes not making a decision is the best answer. You wanted to wait because it wasn't the right time so don't push things to hard. You have plenty of time." My dad let go walking away and leaving me with a great deal to think about.

Shelly was special but even dad thinks I should be with a feline. I had choices but sometimes not making a decision was the best option. I was trying to understand everything he had just told me. Yet the more I thought about it the more I realized that I did not want to lose Shelly. I wanted to be with her and she made me feel good. Maybe the decision had already been made and if so I don't think anyone was going to be very happy with me.