Red vs Blue episode 5
#5 of Red vs blue Season 1
RvB season 1 ep 5: The Package is in the Open
At the blue base stood a Church Donut and the lizard who caused the mess that could possibly get them killed.
" Let me get this straight... you gave this guy our flag." Church asked the dim-witted lizard.
"Is that bad?" The lizard asked as Church exploded at him.
" Bad? Oh no, that's not bad. Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole God damn base?" Church said before raising the sniper in order to look for the red who stool there flag.
"There, there he is!" Tucker yelled while pointing in the cardinal direction of Donut.
Church then slightly changed the direction of the scoop to see Donut running behind a cliff whilst wielding the blue flag.
" Where... oh, yeah, oh, I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs." Church said while he began to line up the shot.
"He must be one smart son of a bitch." Tucker said in one of his most inaccurate judgments of all time.
Meanwhile a completely lost and confused Donut looked around the cliffs for the red base.
" Oh, man, I am so freakin' lost. Where the hell is the base?" Donut said as Church came to another false judgment.
"Oh shit Tucker look at his armor its red." Church pointed out to the armadillo.
"Oh man that means its there Sargent." Tucker said.
" Well, that makes sense. At least now we know how he got by our defences." Church said as the blue clad lizard raised his hand.
" Uh you know, he came in the back door where you guys were standing." He said as a bead of sweat comicly slid down the back of church's helmet.
"Yeah okay well let's take him out then." Tucker said as Church began to aim the riffle at Donut.
Church then took four shoots at Donut all of which pulled to the left a missed.
"SON OF A BITCH!" Donut yelled in reaction to the four shots that where fired at him.
"Aw crap." Church said noticing he missed and that Tucker was starring at him.
"What?" Church asked breaking the awkward silence.
" You're really not very good with that thing, are you." Tucker said sarcastically earning a glare from Church.
" Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember!?" Donut yelled while he swung the flag back and fourth.
" Oh great, now he's taunting us. That's just embarassing." Tucker said seeing the flag swaying in the enemies hands.
" Alright, that's it, I've had it. Rookie, you stay here. Me and Tucker, we'll head through the teleporter, we'll cut him off at the pass." Church said
"Right!" The lizard replied whilst saluting.
"Tucker you ready let's go." Church said as Tucker gave him a 'are you crazy' look.
"There is no way I'm going through that thing." Tucker said.
" Tucker, we don't have time for this. Why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?" Church asked.
" I don't know, why would they give us a tank that noone can drive?" Tucker snapped back as Church sighed.
"We all ready tested the teleporter remember?" Church said.
"We through rocks through it!" Tucker yelled.
" Yeah, and, so what? The rocks came out the other side, didn't they?" Church replied.
" Yeah, but they were all hot, and covered with black stuff." Tucker said.
" Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about then, you're afraid of a little black stuff." Church teased.
"Yes. I am. I am afraid of black stuff." Tucker said in a trembling voice.
" Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you." Church said as he pulled a pistol to Tucker's head.
"You wouldn't..." Tucker said.
" You know, I look at it this way: either A, we go through there, and get the flag back, or B, we stay here, and I get to kill you. Either way, I win." Church said as Tucker gulped and looked back at the teleporter.
" For the record, I want you to know, rocks aren't people." Tucker said.
"Duly noted now get in there." Church said as Tucker looked back to the teleporter.
" Crap... Alright. One, two..." Tucker said as he jumped through the teleporter.
After a few more moments of Church and the rookie staring at where Tucker was supposed to appear and nothing happening Church finally spoke up.
" ... Huh, he didn't come out the other side..." The rookie said.
" Yeeeaaaahhhhh, I've uh, I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter." Church said as he jumped off the side of the base and began to run in Donut's direction before stopping and turning back towards the base.
" Okay, Rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!" Church yelled before continuing his running.
Meanwhile at the red base Griff spied on the blue's activity through a sniper scope.
" I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots." Simmons said.
"I'm telling you, it was four shots. Like bam, bam, bam." Griff said.
"Wait a second that's only three bams." Simmons replied.
"Bam." Griff said as he continued to watch the gulch he then saw Donut on the run whit the flag.
" Wait a second, we've got a blue guy on the move out there." Griff said.
"Where's he headed?" Simmons asked.
" Oh crap... It... it's Donut. And he's got something... " Griff said as he increased the magnification on the sniper to see that he had the blue flag.
" It looks like... Simmons, get the Warthog." Griff said.
"Heh you mean the puma?" Simmons joked.
" Yeah, keep making jokes. That'll win the war." Griff replied.
To be continued...
A/N: just reveled today a new wonder in the world now there's: Heaven,Space,and Caboose's stupidity XD any way I do not own Red vs Blue or any of the characters they all belong to Rooster Teeth.