Jack Mills Himself
"I'm so bored." I complained to my friend Zarvaun as we began our fifteenth straight match of Magic: The Gathering."I know. There's like no good games to play anymore, I swear." the sergal responded, playing down an Island card. "Pass." He concluded.I drew a card. "I should probably go change, I'm starting to itch." I said as I play a Mountain. "Tap one, Satyr Hoplite." I placed down the creature. "Your go." I sighed."We have been at this for...two hours now..." he replied. "'Nother Island. Go ahead.""It also doesn't help that I changed, like, five games ago." I pointed out, placing down a Forest, "Ordeal of Nylea, any response?""Yes, actually. Negate that one." Zarvaun said quickly as he taps the mana and places the spell in his graveyard."Damnit, Zarv." I complained, "Swing for one, I guess.""My god, I'm dying over here." The sergal complains sarcastically as he takes the damage."Oh, shut up." I growled, "Pass." I then heard a thump outside. "Do you think Jack is home?""Probably. Who else makes a thump that loud?" Zarvaun questioned as he continued staring at his hand of cards. "Here's a swamp, and uhh... Nah, I'll pass. Your go again, bud." "Okay, Forest, swing for one." I said, perking up a bit."Ugh, fine." He replied, about to change his die to the 18 side."I'll double bloodrush in response to you taking the damage, take eight, please." I interrupted as the door behind me opened."Down to ten. My go?" He asked not even letting me reply before taking his turn. "Divination, Draw to cards for me." He said as he did. "No lands this turn?" I asked, then to the door, "Hey, Jack.""Hiya, ya two planeswalkers." the husky greeted, walking over to the extra chair at our table, "How many games ya'll gotten into this time?""Fifteenth one, this is." I answered."As I was saying..." Zarvaun motioned to his hand and played a Dimir Guildgate tapped. "Let's see... Your go!""That suspense was unnecessary." I muttered as I drew a card, "I'll lay down a Temple of Abandon...oh, hell no I'm not keeping that there." I said as I put the scryed
card on the bottom of my library. "I'll try to target my satyr with an Ordeal of Purphoros.""No responses, I'm tapped out." Zarvaun sighed."Hallelujah." I sighed, putting a die on my creature card on the 1 side, "I'll also enchant him with a Rancor, so he gets another counter. Swing for...that's three counters, a 1/1, gets +3/+0...Seven damage, Zarv. And I zap you for three since I have to sacrifice my Ordeal. So, ten total...I win...""Lucky bastard." Zarvaun muttered."That was indeed lucky." I said, bewildered."How many turns was that?" a high-pitched voice asked off to the side. Its owner was Jack, regressed to seven years old."Uhh... Twenty... Two. Twenty-two, thats it." Zarvaun lied."I played a land on each turn and drew first...that was four turns, Koyu." I corrected."Yeah... Sure. Whatever." the sergal sighed.Jack then piped up, "Oh, cheer up! It's only a game. By the way, what's that put you two at overall-score-wise?""I've won some, he's won some." I avoided, know he had won eleven of them."In other words, I'm ahead by seven wins." Zarvaun boasted."I was mana screwed!" I complained."Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that." The sergal smirked."So can I play?" Jack asked, perky as ever.I sighed, "I suppose. Might even shake things up enough to demolish this boredom.""Cool! I'll go get my deck." Jack chirped, hopping down from the chair and scampered off."Meanwhile, I'm gonna take this opportunity to change." I said, "Are you sure you don't still need to use the bathroom? Cuz if you wet yourself, you're going the rest of the day padded." I teased."Ehhh... That might be a good idea. Nah, I'll wait another game. Shouldn't take that long." Zarvaun dismissed, "Sides, I gotta shuffle this thing up. Didn't draw crap last game. ""Don't blame me when you end up in a puddle." I called behind me as I left the room."Don't blame me when you lose again." The sergal called back louder than necessary.I went into my room and changed. After that, I grabbed my
Ordeal of the Maelstrom deck and went back to the table. Jack was already there with his cards."Ready?" I asked as I sat down."Yup!" Jack said cheerily."Nope." Zarvaun muttered as he started shuffling the rest of the deck, taking his sweet time."Well I gotta shuffle anyway. And since you lost, Zarv, you get to decide who goes first." I said.The sergal finished shuffling and slammed his deck onto the table, "Ready! Now... Eeny... meeny.. Miney... Jack, You're new to this, you go first!""I may be new, but I know lots!" Jack lisped."Yuck, I'm mulliganing." I mumbled."I suppose this is a good hand..." Jack mused, "I'll play Halimar Depths first up, allowing me to rearrange the top three cards of my library." the husky energetically looked at the top three cards of his deck, his tail wagging, when he suddenly whimpered, "I shouldn't have kept this hand...""I take it you're done?" I asked. The husky put the cards back and nodded, "Alright." I drew a card. "Forest, Font of Fertility, Finished." I alliterated. I sat back and began humming a tune."Let's see here..." Zarvaun thought out loud as he drew his hand, plus one, and looked through it. "Hey Jack, Don't like your cards?" Zarvaun questioned as he placed down an Island."Wh-what's that mean?" Jack asked, voice shaking."Tome scour. Place the top five of your library in the graveyard." The sergal smirked."But I had a Dictate of Kruphix next turn!" Jack complained as he did so, "Dictate of Kruphix, two Islands, a Howling Mine, and a Countermand... You're mean...""Don't feel bad, Jack. Frostbutt over there did almost the same thing to me." Zarvaun said to the husky."Don't lie." I muttered, "It's your turn, Jack.""I'm gonna play an Island and a Howling Mine. Everybody draws two cards each turn now!" Jack announced."Yay, more spells to use." Zarvaun muttered."I'm not sure how to feel about that..." I mused, drawing two cards to start my turn, "Yuck. Mountain, sac my font to get a Swamp, pass.""Woo!" Zarvaun shouted as he drew two cards and played them both at the same time. "Swamp and a Duskmantle
Guildmage, right off the bat! Your go again, Jack.""Duskmantle who-mage?" I asked, leaning over to the card and reading it aloud, "One black, a blue, and a colorless to make people lose life from putting cards in graveyards. Same plus another colorless to mill someone two.""Okay, draw!" Jack said with determination. "Hah! This'll do the trick! 'Nother Island, Font of Fortunes! And Zarvaun?""Yes?" the sergal asked."Tome Scour!!" the husky shouted."Oh c'mon, you have one too?" The sergal said with annoyance."I have four in this deck!" Jack smiled."So I just got milled two Swamps, a Returned Centaur, Ah jeez, My Szadek, Lord of Secrets, and Chronic Flooding...""Meanwhile, it's my turn." I said, "I play a Plains, a Hero of Reina Tower, and pump her up with an Ordeal of Erebos. Go.""Sure." Zarvaun complied as he drew another two cards. "Meh. Here's an Island, aaaand- Ooh, Here's a double card. Far and Away. Frostbutt, sacrifice a creature." The sergal said excitedly as he tapped himself out.I growled, throwing my Hero into my graveyard, "Jack, your turn.""Kay!" Jack chirped, drawing, "I'm gonna play a Spellbook for free, then add another card to the draw step with a Dictate of Kruphix.""That's scary." I said, "My go?" My answer was a nod from Jack, "Okay, here goes nothing." I drew three cards, "Forest, Font of Fertility, sac it to get an Island, go." A knock was heard at the door as Charlie walked in, "Hey Charles." I called, not turning around. The chipmunk just went upstairs to his room, ignoring us."Sure." Zarvaun said, nodding to Charlie as he passed him. "Swamp. And uhh... Jace's Phantasm. Theres not enough graveyard cards, so it's a 1/1. Also... Nah, I end.""Is Charlie okay?" Jack asked, "He looked a bit down.""He might be tired." I dismissed, "It's your turn.""Okay." Jack said, "Island, 'nother Howling Mine. Pass.""Four cards to draw? Damn." I commented, taking my turn, "Island, Triton Shorestalker?" "Keel it, Frostbite. Terror." The sergal said as he shoved the card in my face."Damnit, Zarv." I sighed, "I'll
just replace it with another.""Or will you?" Zarvaun questioned, staring at his hand intently."I think I will." I said determinately."Damnit. I got nothin." the sergal said, putting his hand down."I'm also gonna double enchant it with Ordeals of Purphoros and Heliod. And play another Fertile Font, then pass." I announced, gesturing to Zarvaun."Alrighty then. Here goes." Zarvaun said as he picked up four cards. "Ooh. Here's another Island. And there's a Jace, Memory Adept.""Woah, that's a blue spell!" Jack said excitedly."Oh, yeah. And it's about to get a whole lot more interesting around here." the sergal said, getting excited."A shame I countered it." Jack said smugly, placing a Gainsay on the planeswalker, "My go?""Ugh, C'mon Jack. How could you?" Zarvaun said back before continuing, "Take your turn already.""Island, 'nother Howling Mine and a Font of Mythos!" Jack said, giggling."Get out of here with those darn cards, Jack!" Zarvaun yelled."Sorry, I like this deck." Jack said."Well I assume I should go, seeing you're tapped out." I muttered, drawing a full hand on my draw step, "I hope I don't regret this. Two Ordeals of Thassa and an Ordeal of Nylea. I'll also sac my Font for a Swamp. Pass.""Hey Jack, Remember when you countered my Jace?" The sergal asked smugly."Uh, yeah?" he said questioningly."Well, uhh... Mind Grind. Pumped with four." Zarvaun smiled as he placed the card for Jack to read."Damn, Koyu! What the hell?" I complained, "I have sixteen cards left in my deck!""I milled so many before that first land." Jack meeped."Hey, I could have waited a few more turns..." The sergal said to me keeping his gaze to Jack as the husky drew his hand for his turn."Well I'mma add three more cards to the draw step with another Font of Mythos and Dictate of Kruphix." Jack said hesitantly."Mother of-" I complained as I drew ten cards."Seconded." The sergal said in response."Three more Ordeals onto my Triton, a Mountain played, a Tormented Hero tapped, and two Amulets. A Lagonna-Band Trailblazer too- Jack I'm emptying my hand now! I'm gonna take my anger out on Zarv though. Swing for nine unblockable, zap you for six, I gain ten life, draw six cards, and get four lands onto the battlefield tapped. Wait, I have no library to search through! I just drew my last six cards of my deck! At least Koyu's at five, so there...""Well then. That happened." Zarvaun said as he took the damage and drew ten cards, re-arranging them in his hand. "Now let's see here... I play a Swamp, and then Temporal Mastery. I get an extra turn after this. Too bad I can't miracle it.""You'll lose, I'm sure." Jack muttered, "You only have so many cards left, after all.""Don't be so sure of yourself. Next turn. I play another Island, As well as two more Jace's Phantasms. Both are 5/5's. Now then. Jack," The sergal said, a wide grin spread across his face. "I play a Traumatize. And a Tome scour.That taps me out."Then it's my turn- I can't draw ten cards." Jack said, his ears folding back on his head."I'm without a library." I said, "You win, Zarv. Nice one.""Man..." Jack sniffled.I chuckled, "I thought you said it was just a game?""Yeah, but I was winning." Jack mumbled...