Zarvaun Gets Smug
"Well," I said, getting up, "I'm gonna go see what's up with Munk Face." I walked upstairs to the Chipmunks room, knocking on the door"Charles, ya in there?" I called. The door opened, revealing a thirteen year old Charlie wearing a childish looking diaper. He looked as though he'd been crying, "You okay, man?""Y-yeah, I just... I don't..." The chipmunk stuttered, refusing to look at me."Did you get bullied again?" I asked. The chipmunk nodded in response, "Well, if you let that get ya down, how are we gonna have any fun? Come on, we're starting a new game.""Okay, just let me get my cards." The chipmunk sniffled, and I closed the door. I stopped by my room on the way to the table to get yet another deck."I'm gonna use a not-so-rage-inducing deck this time." Jack said as I came back. I noticed that Zarvaun was missing from his chair. When I asked, Jack shrugged, "He just said, 'Oh no!' and ran off." I noticed him walk back into the room at this moment, wearing a new pair of pants."I take it those five Mountain Dews finally got to you?" I asked.The sergal looked around nervously before answering, "Well... Uhhh..." He sighed."That's why I offered for you to wear a diaper. You don't have to worry about that while we're dueling." I teased."Ehh... I guess I'm more of a pants kinda guy." he said as he brought another can of soda to his lips and broke the seal violently, draining it in record time. "I mean... Not that I mind or anything...But I don't mean-" Zarvaun answered shyly, blushing, desperately trying to get off the topic."I told you, Zarv. There's no need to be embarrassed." I said with a laugh, "After all, you're literally the only one not wearing one right now. And that's because we know what you're missing out on.""Yeah, I guess so." the sergal managed. "Let's get on with this game then, shall we?" he dodged, sitting down. Charlie then came scampering in with his deck in hand."Then let's get started already!" the chipmunk announced, trying to sound enthusiastic. After we vigorously shuffled our decks, Charlie got the honors of going first, "I'll play a Temple of Malice and scry one...keep. Go."Zarvaun drew a full hand of cards at the last second, taking his sweet time to take his turn, "I'll uh... lay down a Cloudpost. That's my turn. Go... Fish... I mean...
Jack!""Alright!" Jack said after mulliganing to six cards, "I play a Temple of Mystery...keep that there...your turn, Frost.""Aight." I complied, taking my turn, "Forest, done.""Kay." Charlie said, drawing, "Mountain, I play a Bloodcrazed Hoplite, and I pass the turn to Sergal Face over here.""Woo!" Zarvaun half-shouted as he drew a card, "Heres another Cloudpost, and... that does it for me.""My turn!" Jack announced, drawing, "Forest, and I'm done.""Sure thing." I said, taking my turn, "'Nother Forest, and I'm ready to go.""This is going fairly slowly, isn't it?" Charlie commented as he drew his card, "I'm gonna swing for two at Jack.""Well, I guess I take." Jack answered."Then I'm gonna have some fun, two Rouse The Mobs, that's eight damage, you're at twelve." Charlie quickly added."Ouch!" Jack said with a childish tone."Is it my turn yet?" Zarvaun asked unable to control his excitement for what he had in hand."Yes, it is." Charlie replied."Yay!" the sergal responded before drawing his card, "Woo!" He screamed before tapping both his Cloudposts, and laying down a Quicksilver amulet, as well as a Glimmerpost. "I gain two life, as well!" He said rather loudly, as he turned one of his three D-10 dice to a 2."Meh, my go, I assume?" Jack mumbled."No.... Just kidding, yeah, go ahead." The sergal announced, fixing his eyes back to his hand."Thank you." Jack mused, drawing another card and closing his eyes before looking at it, neutral faced, "Boon Satyr, and I'm fine.""Good deal." I commented, drawing a card, "Mountain, and I pass.""Damn, no spells from you yet?" Charlie asked as he drew a card, growling slightly, "Four at Zarv.""Sure, sure, sure." the sergal repeated, before moving his dice to 18, "I'm going now. Okay! That'll be a card." he said as he drew. "Ohmahgawd!" he squealed, "Just gets better and better! Okay, watch this!" Zarvaun pulled two cards from his hand and threw them onto his battlefield. "Playing an Urza's Tower. Tap four, and my amulet, and I bring out this bad boy, Spawnsire of Ulamog. Thats right, It's
out there." he said, laughing as he smiled through his turn, listening to me just repeat, "No!" all the time. "Anyone got a counter?" He said finally."It's not spell!!!" I yelled, getting flustered, "You literally used the ability to put the creature card onto your battlefield!""I'm gonna go now..." Jack meeped, drawing, "Dictate of Kruphix, swing four at Charles.""Damn." the chipmunk said simply, taking his life down as Frostbite began to twitch."My turn..." I tremored, drawing two cards, "Nylea, God of the Hunt.""My turn, and I pray for luck." Charlie said, drawing, "Swamp. Four at Zarv.""Just four? Fine, Block with my 7/11, and not the store, either." The sergal said smugly."In response, I'll play a Cutthroat Maneuver, giving this guy a counter, +1/+1 and lifelink. I at least gain six life.""Not bad. Still not as interesting as I thought that'd go." He said, sighing."Just go, ya smug jerk." Jack mumbled."Of course I will! I draw." He said, mimicking a game of Yu-Gi-Oh!, "Aha! I play an Urza's Power Plant; that doubles some more mana for me to play with when I get a Mine to go with it... Anyway, Tap four aaaaand- It That Betrays enters the battlefield.""Zarv! I'm gonna kill you!" I yelled, standing up."Frostbite? But- I thought we-? You know what? Take a Spawnsire to the face." He said, half laughing back."Fluffing annihilator, you get one of my Forests. I have to take." I muttered, "I'm at thirteen.""Just clearing the weeds." the sergal said, continuing to plan every turn ahead."I'm just gonna go now," Jack said, "I haven't much to lose." He gulped, "Ordeal of Nylea, swing for five at Frost.""I'll take." I muttered, "I'm at eight." I drew two cards. "Iroas, God of Victory. Prayer for a miracle.""My turn now." Charlie added, taking me discarding an Eidolon of Blossoms as cue to take his turn, "Swamp. Akroan Conscriptor, Shark Face's turn."The sergal started mimicking the theme from Jaws before pulling his cards. "Another Urza's tower, and- Ooh, Frostbite, You'll love this!" He said as he pulled the new draw from his hand and laid it down."Stop being such an ass, would ya?" I said, glaring at him.Zarvaun just gave me a look before taking his paw off the card. "Quicksilvering in an Emrakul, The Aeons Torn.""More like you're an ass and you know it." I sighed."I can't help that I have such a well made deck." He said smugly."But you can help that attitude of yours." I growled."What? I'm having tons of fun-" "You're being a smug asshole about this!" I interrupted."Okay fine, I'll chill out. But I'm still playing the card." He said, finishing tapping his mana and reaching for two cards."That's fine, I just don't like it when people are super smug about having the upper hand like you were doing." I sighed, then, noticing him about to draw more cards, "You didn't cast Emrakul, so that extra turn doesn't trigger. It's your turn, Jack.""Okay..." Jack said, drawing his cards, "Another Dictate, and swing for six at Charles.""I'll take it." Charles said without looking up."My turn." I said, drawing three cards, "I'll play a Forest, then Karametra, God of Harvests. Pass." I sighed, discarding a Forgeborn Oreads."My turn!" Charlie exclaimed, drawing three cards, "Oh my God! Zarv, a storm is brewing!""Wha-" the sergal started."I play Rouse the Mob on my Conscriptor and take control of your It That Betrays. Then I play Cutthroat Maneuver on that Eldrazi and my Conscriptor, and gain control of Emrakul!""What?!" Zarv exclaimed."I'm gonna swing for both of the eldrazi at you and my Conscriptor at Jack." Charlie announced, "Give me eight of your permanents, Zarv! Wait, you lose. Forget that.""No, I don't. You went off talking so fast, I nearly forgot I have a counter. Not of This World.""Doesn't matter, Heroic still triggers." Charlie smiled."He's right." Frostbite said, smirking."Actually, it does. See uhh, my Spawnsire allows me to tap four, which i have, and place two 0/1's on the field. I'll block Emrakul-""Who has flying? No." Charlie interrupted, "Give it
up.""Damnnit-" The sergal said, tossing his cards on the table."Yes!" Jack exclaimed, "My turn!" the husky's tail wagged as he drew three cards. "Island, Kruphix, God of Horizons. Seven at Charles. I get two lands tapped. Also, Kruphix is a creature.""My go!" I announced, drawing my cards, smiling at Zarv while he pouted, "I got that Forest back, by the way. Anyway, Swamp, Mogis, God of Slaughter. Charles, sac a creature or take two damage.""I'll gladly take the damage." Charles said as he drew three cards, "Mountain. Two Ashiok's Adepts. A Satyr Hoplite. Three at Frost.""Gee, thanks." I complained, "Gonna sac or get shocked, Jack?" the husky moved his die to 11 to signify his choice."My turn!" Jack yipped, drawing his cards, "Courser of Kruphix. I play the Forest of the top of my library and gain a life. Pass.""Back in a bit." Zarvaun said as he finished piling up his cards into a neat stack, before heading towards the kitchen's fridge."Okay." I said, drawing three cards. "Play a Plains, then Xenagos, God of Revels and a Spear of Heliod. Karametra and Iroas are online. Xenagos gives Iroas +8/+8, haste and trample. Swing for sixteen and seven at you, Charles.""And I have to block them with two creatures too, and I'll take all twenty-three damage." Charles said, moving his die to 2, "I'll sac my Satyr so Mogis doesn't kill me."The chipmunk drew three cards, unusually happily, then swore when he didn't get what he wanted, "I lost, concede.""I'll concede too, you'll just win next turn, Frostbite." Jack mumbled, gathering up his cards."That happened." I said."What'd I miss?" The sergal finally returned with a soda in his paw, which he was drinking from."The fact that I won, and that you'll be taking the punishment for being the first dead!" I teased, smirking. The other two smiling deviously as well, staring at Zarvaun cryptically."P- Punishment? Wha- There's no-" He tried to complain before...