Nightmare
Nightmare "Guilty."
The judge brought his gavel down. "I didn't do it! I had nothing to do with it!"
I cried out looking at the judge. It was a hazy blurry surreal courtroom I was
in, I couldn't tell if it was real or a dream. "Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!" The
judge called down to me. "NO!" I cried out as the gavel came down and a crash
of thunder echoed waking me up from the desk in my cabin. I was in a cold
sweat, the storm hadn't let up at all and I'm glad it woke me from my
nightmare. Little did I know that my nightmare was just beginning, I was
breathing heavily and gritted my teeth in a mixture of fear and anger. I stood
up and immediately I could tell something wasn't right with me. I felt lightheaded and dizzy, I looked at the
empty bottle of scotch, it had been empty for two days now and I knew it was
the last bottle I'd be able to purchase until further notice by order of the
captain. I felt my stomach churn from
the lack of alcohol in my system and made the mistake of opening the cabin door
to a massive swell that came through the cabin door and knocked me back against
the far wall. I tried to stand up, but I
kept slipping down and I could feel the ship rock violently in the ocean. My fur was drenched in a combination of sweat
and ocean water and I fought to get to my feet and was only able to crawl to
the door and close it before slumping to the floor. My mind began to shift from reality to my
childhood in a few minutes to a point I could no longer decipher what was real
and what was a dream... I awoke
in the middle of the night and climbed out of my bed in a cold sweat. I heard the grandfather clock in the foyer
strike 12. I slowly made my way out of
the door and felt myself slide to the staircase railing of my home. I gripped
the railing for dear life as the rain woke me from my haze for a brief second.
I could have sworn I was back home, but alas I was not. I closed my eyes for a
brief moment and immediately went back to holding onto the railing at my home
afraid to let go. I was sick and I
couldn't tell during that fever if I was hallucinating or if I was really
seeing a shadow of a vixen no older than me riding in the lap of my father, and
then change into a full grown vixen within a matter of seconds. I let go of the rail and slowly crawled back
into my room and rang the small hand bell by my bed to try and get Nanny's
attention. The storm outside was worse than earlier, the limbs of trees were
swaying in the wind making shadow villains along the wall of the nursery. I laid
down on the side of the bed and rang the bell for what felt like minutes, but
was only a few seconds. I couldn't hear
Nanny come into the nursery and pick me up nor could I see clearly. I had developed a fever during the night and
was deathly ill. I
turned my head to side of the railing and expelled the contents of my stomach
into the ocean below me. I was sobering
up and it wasn't just the lack of alcohol in my system causing this violent
withdrawal, but the lack of other drugs as well, such as morphine, laudanum,
and cannabis just to name a few. I had
developed an addiction over the years and now my body was feeling the effects
of sobering up. I closed my eyes once more and tried to pick myself up and make
my way back to my cabin. I don't know
how I wondered out in the first place, but managed to slip and fall. "Nanny," I called out, but I was the only one
on deck. My mind was thoroughly
betraying me now. I could have sworn I saw Nanny in front of me as I rolled
over onto my back. Nanny
was holding me closely to her. "Oh you
poor thing, you're burning up." She
quickly placed me under the covers and grabbed a blanket over me. "I-I'm so
cold." I whimpered and tried to close my eyes. "Alexzander, sweetie you have to
stay awake for me." She nuzzled my head
and lit a lamp on the nightstand. "Mr. Monroe, Mrs. Monroe! You're son needs a
doctor!" Nanny didn't leave my side for
a minute as she called to my parents. My
parents only appeared a few minutes later and no sooner did they enter the
room, a strong musk filled the nursery. "What do you want us to do about him
needing a doctor?" My father sneered and I was so muddle headed I could have
sworn he was breathing heavily as my mother was licking and smacking her lips incessantly
before speaking, "He's only doing this
for attention, he'll be fine." My mother said as she walked over to me and
tried to pull me out from under the covers, but I was so wrecked by the fever,
my body was limp. I
opened my eyes weakly seeing a small light approach me and did my best to pick
myself up from the deck of the ship and braced myself against the wall. The storm and the withdrawal was doing a
number to my body. I smiled brazenly and laughed to myself looking up to the
heavens. "Is this the best you can do?"
I had lost all my senses and began talking with the wall. "I like blueberry tarts and minced meat pies.
How much is that carriage?" The ship
rocked to the side forcing me to collide with the wall and bloodied my nose in the
process forcing me to drop to a knee. "Nanny,
could I go to the toy store tomorrow? I've been a good boy and said my prayers." Nanny looked at me with tears in her eyes
from fear and concern as my parents had retreated back downstairs not even
slightly concerned about me. "I'll do more than just that for you My Prince."
She wrapped me up in a blanket and carried me outside holding me close and did
her best to keep us both dry. She was
struggling to hold onto the umbrella when a carriage came by. "Please, I need
to get him a doctor." The driver could see the fear in her eyes and he quickly
climbed off the carriage and helped Nanny in as she laid me down with my head
resting her lap. "Stay with me Alexzander, please. What type of toy would you
like?" She sounded scared and I replied the best I could. "I'd like a stick, to
chase off dogs with." She chuckled a little bit trying to keep her composure. "I'll
do the best job I can of finding the biggest stick for you to handle." The carriage came to a stop outside a small
office with a flat above it. I closed my
eyes briefly for a second as Nanny carried me inside. I
picked myself up and leaned back against the wall. I could feel the blood running down my nose,
and onto my shirt. I felt something on my shoulder and went to punch at what it
was, but it was only a piece of cloth that was torn from the storm, and ended
up punching the door that led to the cabin beside mine. "Agh!" I cried out in
pain and grimaced, before kicking the door. I had lost all control and senses.
I was as mad as a hatter. "Easy lad, I
don't want to have to hurt you." It was
the ship's constable. I couldn't tell in the rain and dark light and my berserk
behavior who or what was talking to me. "Take it easy son, and I'll get a
doctor to look at you." I went to take a swing at him, but missed and slipped
down banging my head against the door.
As an older gentleman opened the door and all I could see before I
blacked out was a snow white tipped tail. I awoke
in a freezing cold bath and started crying hysterically. "Nanny, Nanny, Nanny!"
The doctor and Nanny each put a paw on my shoulder as Nanny held my paw and
leaned my head against her arm. "His fever finally broke." The doctor said as
he adjusted his glasses on his greyish red muzzle and looked at him then
glanced at Nanny. "I'm surprised his parents didn't bring him." "They were a bit preoccupied at the moment."
He sighed and glanced at me flicking his tail as I regained my senses and my
sight returned. "W-what happened?" I asked shivering from the cold as Nanny
picked me up gently and wrapped me up in a nice warm towel and dried me off. "You
had a fever. You're very fortunate
little one to have someone like Ms. Vivica looking after you." I nuzzled Nanny gently, "Where's Mother and
Father?" She frowned then looked at the doctor. "They stayed at the house." She
said as she looked back at me and pulled me into a warm embrace. "Why did they not come with me?" I asked as my body finally started to
cooperate and my senses returned. "They
were asleep." The doctor chimed in. "I'm
Dr. Beard, a longtime friend and acquaintance of Ms. Vivica." He smiled to her
weakly then to me. "I want you to stay here for the night, you'll be safe here
and come daylight, I'll return you home." I looked at Nanny nervously. "Are you going to stay too?" She shook her head and nuzzled me as I
started to whimper. "There, there little one no tears, I'll be at home waiting
on you and I'll that stick you wanted when you arrive." She held me close and
gave me a warm hug before handing me to Dr. Beard. He nuzzled me softly, "I'm going to introduce
you to some aunts and uncles of yours once you are fully recovered and if you
want to meet them." I nodded to him as I yawned. I was tired and exhausted from the fever and
from seeing my father's anger and temper.
The
storm finally ended as I felt sunlight come in through a small crack in the
door. I thought to myself that it was
all just a dream and that I was in my own cabin, but that quickly changed when
I went to move my paw and winced in pain feeling bandages around it. Unlike my childhood, where I awoke with
someone there beside me, I woke up alone.
I weakly climbed out of the bed, still feeling the effects of my
withdrawal as my fur was on end and my body and tail shook uncontrollably
trying to regain control. My mind was
still being tormented by the images of those memories. My father and my mother
stayed behind while I suffered. I cursed
myself for ever having said "I love you" to them and gritted my teeth as I
thought about the consequences of my past.
Nightmares are often more than just dreams; sometimes they are every day
thoughts and everyday life. I awoke
the next morning to the smell of bandages and chemicals making me a little
uneasy. "You okay lad?" It was Mr.
Shade, he was wearing a heavy bandage over his right eye from the fight he was
in the previous night. "It's sometimes
better to be an orphan than to be in Hell."
I looked at him as he made his way over to my small cot and sat down
adjusting his sash. "What do you mean by that?" I was offended by him saying
that to me, and flicked my tail as my ears pinned back. "You deserve better than the way you're
treated, and I've seen orphans treated far better than you." He continued and
rubbed his chin. "My wounds will heal in
time, and I might have lost an eye, but after everything I witnessed, I wish I
had died." He stood up and walked away
flicking his tail slowly from side to side as he brushed past Dr. Beard. "I'll
keep an eye on that kit for you Doc. No
harm will become of him while Mr. Shade roams the town." Dr. Beard approached smiling weakly, "Pay him
no mind, he's just bitter that he never had a home of his own. He was born and raised in the streets." I was still angry with what he had said as my
tail thumped against the cot I was laying on.
"He needs to learn his place." I could feel my eyes burn not, with
tears, but with anger, and hate. Dr.
Beard removed his glasses as he looked at me with concern. "You're fever has broken, but there are other
wounds that can't be seen. You will be
hurt in many ways throughout your life, but how you handle those wounds, is all
the difference." I buried my face in my paws as I sat down on
the side of the bed. I had allowed
wounds to affect me in ways I never thought possible. This voyage was just a continuous nightmare
one right after another, I only hoped that we would be reaching our destination
soon. I thought about those images, and
when the door to the cabin opened, my nightmare was not even close to being
over with. The Captain of the ship walked
in and behind him, I could see the white tip show from a bright orange tail that
lead to a pair of grey trousers and as I traced my eyes up from his trousers to
his matching grey Eaton jacket and tie, my heart skipped a beat as I looked to
face an old forgotten memory and for the first time since I could remember I
gulped deeply in fear. I was facing a
new nightmare, but an old memory and a painful one at that. "Remember me Alexzander Bartholomew Monroe?"
I nodded and did my best to fight back the fear, and maintain a stoic look and
attitude. I was not about to be intimidated by a nightmare, I wasn't the same
fox that crossed his path years ago. I
was a nightmare in my own mind to others...