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New Shirt Written by grrside

"New shirt?" I swallowed. My coworker had never made any comment about my attire in all the years I've been working at the office. Why did he have to make that observation just today? "Oh, you noticed?" I said with my most innocent smile. "Yeah, I just bought it." "In which store?" "...Uhm...I dunno, I bought it at one of those online shopping aggregators at a very competitive price." "Cool. It suits you well, teehee." I rolled my eyes at that terrible joke. "Classic, yet informal." "Yeah, I guess..." The blue-checkered shirt embracing my torso felt tighter for a second. For a second I thought one of its buttons was going to burst. Damn, not again. I didn't want to draw more attention to it, but my coworker took hold of my shirt's right sleeve. "It's very soft too. It must feel very comfortable to wear." I began to feel an annoying itch on the lower part of my back. Yeesh. I gave my shirt a gentle tug, but the itch didn't stop. I couldn't resist it anymore and furiously scratched my back. "Is something the matter?" "No, it's just that my shirt's label is kinda itchy." I said while scratching my back. "Want me to go search for some scissors and help you cut it off? It won't be more than a minute." The itch stopped instantly when he said that, my shirt suddenly feeling even tighter. "Nah, I don't want to forget that I can't put it in the dryer." I felt my shirt becoming looser. "I see. Well, good luck on those reports." "Thanks, you too!" I said as he went away. I really wanted to finish off writing those reports as soon as possible, but with this damn shirt I'm getting distracted every five minutes! This couldn't go on like this. I turned off the computer monitor on my cubicle's desk and excused myself to the bathroom. Once there, I double-checked that the door was locked and furiously unbuttoned my shirt and threw it to the ground in pure fury. "What's the big idea?! You knew I had to finish those reports today, yet you had to insist so much on being worn! You promised you wouldn't cause any trouble and keep still like any other shirt! Yet you keep on getting excited and tight!" I shouted to the discarded piece of garment on the floor. Any other person would have been terrified when suddenly the shirt used its sleeves to stand up and sweep off the dust off itself. And even more so when, from its neck, came out an incorporeal voice. "But...But...I didn't want to be left alone at home like this! What if the cleaning lady found me and threw me into the dryer?..." whined the shirt.

Checkers, as he himself proposed to be nicknamed, was my roommate. Of course, nobody in their sane mind would share an apartment with an inanimate piece of clothing. But when I first met him he looked like a regular person. But one fateful full-moon night I started to hear some strange noises and cries. I ran to his room and knocked, but he told me he was perfectly fine, and "For the love of god, do NOT open the door!". I thought he was just jacking off, so I opened the door, but there was no sign of my roommate and his room was a mess: all his clothes were piled up on his bed. Of course, when one of the clothes of the pile, a blue checkered shirt, lifted his sleeve and said "See? I'm perfectly fine!" I almost fainted. When he saw my face of astonishment, he added "Oh...Shit...Don't tell me I've already transformed...I should've just pretended to be one of my own shirts...Less complicated that way." My roommate turned out to be a wereshirt. When he was younger, he bought a luxurious leather jacket online at an incredibly low price. Turned out it was a scam, the seller was the jacket itself. The jacket would auction itself on eBay, then, after being delivered to the winner, it would escape during the night and the next day, safely at the comfort of his home, would tell the buyer that he didn't take responsibility if the goods were robbed after the goods were delivered. My roommate was one of his victims. But after the con artist got delivered to his home, and my roommate examined his "prize", he accidentally spilled his morning coffee all over the jacket. "Damn! Well, nothing a trip to the laundry won't fix. And I didn't even pay half its value, anyway." "Nothing a trip to the laundry won't fix? NOTHING A TRIP TO THE LAUNDRY WON'T FIX...?!" My roommate was perplexed. Who was talking? Suddenly, the ruined jacket lifted its arms and grabbed my roommate by his neck. "You are supposed to treat luxuries like me with RESPECT! Don't you know how many times I'll have to bathe to take this stain off from me?!" "You...You are alive? Are you a ghost?!" "Of course I'm no fucking ghost! People think it's just a stupid urban legend, but we the werecloth people do, in fact, exist!" "I actually never heard of werecloth people until now...And I read lots of conspiracy theories on the internet..." said my roommate, incredulous. "Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to get familiarized with the curse...The rest of your life!" The leather jacket then ran off using his his sleeves as legs and jumped off the window, then, to my roommates amazement, the leather began to turn into human skin, and soon a naked man was running in the morning light.. "Ouch!" My roommate noticed he had a slight bruise bleeding in his arm, caused by the jacket's zipper while it tried to strangle him. "Maybe it's some sort of allergic reaction...Yeah...I'm allergic to leather and it's causing me to hallucinate...Talking clothes? Ha!" He put some skin cream on his bruise and forgot about that strange scene. The next full moon, he woke up in bed as a classic, yet informal piece of attire.

"I know you've been having trouble to transform back lately..." I said to the whining shirt on the bathroom floor. "...But that's even more reason for you to stay at home." "But I wanted to feel useful at least for a day...All this suppressed tension...I just can't relax. Maybe that's the reason I can't turn back..." Checkers sounded depressed. "If you want to feel useful, just try to act like a normal shirt. All that getting tight and excited have to stop." "Sorry, it's just that...Well, it's the first time someone complimented my shirt-form..." Checkers voice got a bit more excited. "And then he even touched me..." Something tented up on the shirt's lower regions. "Do you think...He likes me?" "He was just interested in buying a shirt *like* you, not *you*. I'm sure you're not even his size...Hey! What the hell are you doing?!" The shirt's sleeves were rubbing an erect "Do not dry in dryer" label. "Oh...I want to be worn by him...While being told..."Oh, Checkers, you're so soft and comfortable, I want to wear you foreve-..." I kicked the piece of garment and it got splattered on the wall. "Ouch! What gives? I was about to-" "You were rubbing a label, a piece of paper! It's impossible you were "about to" anything!" "A piece of paper? But you don't understand, it feels just like my-" "I don't want to hear it!" I had already guessed what body part that label was, but I just didn't want to admit that the label that had been so dangerously near my arse was...Ugh... "Anyway, I have work to do in the office and I can't do it shirtless, so I'm going to put you on again..." The shirt lifted its sleeves in victory "Yay!..." "...BUT, I don't want any funny business this time. Keep still, do not get tight, and for heaven's sake, do your best to NOT get aroused!" The shirt nodded with its neck. I picked it up and was about to put him on when it said: "By the way, hugging your chest feels pretty nice..." "Sorry, I do not swing that way." "Then you'd prefer to wear a pink dress? Heehee." I sighed. Werecloth humor was not really my thing. But it's true that sometimes I wondered if there were female werecloths too. "Now, seriously, I'm glad I have a roommate as open-minded as you, I'm sure I'll be able to return to my human form soon. At least until the next full-moon, you know how lunar cycles are always stressing me! And you also know that-" I finished putting him on, his voice getting muffled as he couldn't talk while my neck was obstructing his "mouth". This is what I liked about Checkers, no matter how annoying he gets, you can always shut him up this way. I opened the bathroom door and was about to sit down again at my desk when my co-worker patted me on my shoulder and asked me what took me so long. I began to felt an itch at the lower part of my back. I had the sensation this was going to be a very long day of work.

THE END