XII. Planes of Existence
As told by Nina
Two full weeks had passed since I had first shown Trisha my inner puppy. In the meantime, we had 'practiced' once more, after which she had taught me how to sew. The old Indian appeared to be a real expert in the craft, and she was a good and patient teacher.
After quite some hard work, I had finally finished the onesie for Milo. I hoped it would fit him. If not, I would work just as hard to make one that would. A PuppyNet member had even sent me a nice appliqué I had sewn on the front of the onesie, so it would be even more puppyish.
The onesie was at Trisha's place now, however. She had gift-wrapped it and hid it somewhere only she knew, so nobody would find it if she would have any guests before Milo's birthday. I was very excited about the party, but I deliberately pushed those thoughts to the back of my head.
Before his party, the theatre play would be performed, and I would have to be a big girl for that. I did not have a problem with that, however, as I would hopefully get to be little again the next day.
So there I was, in a blackbox theatre large enough to have an audience of over two hundred people. The stage was about twenty to twenty five feet wide, so big enough for any solo act or play with a small cast.
Theatre events like these were organized by the university, which meant the participating students would get a ticket for free. All other visitors had to pay for a ticket, but non-participants could get a twenty percent discount on showing their university registry card.
Since Margaret and I had created most of the artwork for Milo's play, we had agreed to visit the event together. Milo unfortunately had a seat somewhere else, because he sat in one of the rows that were reserved for the participants.
Margaret was quite satisfied with the artwork we had produced. Even though the story played in a realistic setting, here in Evarónah, we had decided upon an scenery of abstract images, mostly made with a technique called 'action painting'.
The creative process of bringing such images to life looks rather silly, and some would even call it childish to see me splatter red, yellow and purple paint on a canvas that has been treated to look disheveled. However, I knew the story would be a tragedy, so it had to be accompanied by fitting scenery.
There would be three acts, and every act would feature a different picture in the background. The set pieces were fairly large, about ten feet wide and seven feet tall. Margaret and I had not shown each other the artwork we had made, so it would be a surprise.
After all, we had already read the draft of the script, so we were familiar with where the story would go. However, I had decided to refrain from reading the ending. Margaret had made the artwork for the third act, so I did not need to read said part.
Consequently, the first part of the story was not new to me, and neither was the scenery. It started with Roderick playing Shawn, a twenty-year-old ferret from Hanthrough, who had moved out of his parents' place to study in Northshore.
During the first act, he talked to himself, but sometimes, it looked like he was directly addressing the audience. Therefore, it was hard to discern whether Shawn actually acknowledged the presence of the audience, or maybe he was talking to his own reflection in a mirror.
Being far away from home, his parents and his friends, he is kind of lonely, but there is hope. There is this fellow student of his which he has a crush on, a squirrel girl named Chloe. The problem is, and this is where Milo put a recognizable part of himself into the play: Shawn has a very low self esteem. In short, Shawn's problem is having fallen in love with a girl he thinks himself unworthy of.
"I could ask her to be my girlfriend," he mused in the all-monologue first act, "but what would she say? Would she really want to date a ferret like me? I'm not handsome, nor am I strong. I'm not even tall!"
So apparently, he does not think of himself as physically attractive. Ironically, people told me Roderick is fairly attractive for ferret standards. As a dog, I obviously can't really relate to that.
"Besides, I'm kinda broke and I don't know very well how to talk to girls. How could a person like _that_call himself a romantic?"
I got to give it to Roderick, his representation of Shawn was really convincing, especially for a freshman. Furthermore, the scenery consisted out of nothing but my painting, and the ferret on a lone chair. In all aspects, Roderick's character was in the center of the attention, but he pulled it off like he had years of acting experience.
"I really like Chloe, but she's perfect, and I'm so flawed!" he said to himself, supporting his head with his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. "Will she accept someone like me? Doesn't she deserve to be with someone better? A squirrel, for instance? Why would a squirrel like her want to date a ferret like me? What do I have to give that she doesn't already have?"
Reading the script, I concluded Shawn's self esteem was low, but I had not noticed it was borderline racist. I was glad when the monologue was over - some of it was downright depressing! Then again, it was all a part of building his character. The story was a tragedy after all, so it was more or less the opposite of a fairy tale. If Shawn would have a relationship with Chloe, it would be nothing like the friendship Milo and I shared, would it?
A short piece of instrumental music played as the stage managers moved some set pieces around for the second act. I knew the second act would be happier than the first - or less saddening, depending on one's perspective. Shawn and Chloe were discussing a hardship in a study project they had been assigned to work on together. The ferret felt lucky, because the project allowed him to spend time with his crush.
Eventually, the two overcame said hardship. Shawn had promised to take Chloe out for dinner if they would get a high grade, to celebrate their achievement. They scored a surprising 82 points, so the ferret kept his promise.
The second half of the act was new for me, and they did not use any artwork for that. Since the scene revolved around the actual dinner, Milo had decided upon a different method. During the entire scene, Shawn and Chloe talked to each other, during which normal lighting was used.
However, both characters would frequently interrupt the dialogue to think out loud, effectively speaking to the audience, although they kept looking at each other. Whenever Chloe was 'thinking', the stage would be dark, save for a warm orange-reddish spotlight aimed at her. Her thoughts were about being content with finishing the assignment, but also involved her appreciation for Shawn's important efforts.
The contrast with the ferret was clear. Whenever he was talking to the audience, the lights would be blue and cold. His thoughts were filled with doubt. During the assignment, he had become sure about his feelings for Chloe, but not so much about how to confess them.
As the scene carried on, the lights subtly turned less in contrast, and whenever the 'normal light' was on, the red and blue seemed to slowly creep in. Eventually, Shawn made a decision. While he was not exactly confident, he knew he had to ask Chloe whether she had any feelings for him. If not now, then never.
The squirrel, on the other hand, realized whatever turn their new friendship would take, it would have to wait, because something would be in their way for the entire next timeframe. As the contrast between light and dark faded, all lights eventually turned purple. Simultaneously, the border between thoughts and actual speech blurred as well during Shawn's last monologue.
He had finally decided he was going to ask Chloe, but she in turn responded to his thoughts. The facial expression Roderick made when this happened was really powerful. It was a strange mix of happiness and confusion, as he pretended to be surprised by the squirrel catching up on his thoughts.
Unsure whether she had actually _heard_his thoughts or just made an educated guess, the ferret asked whether Chloe saw him as 'just a friend', or as something more. I just knew some people expected this to end with the squirrel declaring her love and two kissing lovebirds, but they were mistaken.
"Well, I do think of you as more than 'just a friend'. You're a kind person, not afraid to be vulnerable and not too proud to say how he feels, or to talk about his emotions. I've dated a few other guys before, but they didn't allow themselves to discuss such topics." Chloe explained.
"So you're saying I have a chance?" Shawn replied half-joking.
"I'm not entirely sure whether it'd work out between the two of us, though," she admitted hesitantly. "But let's find out in two months."
"Why so long?" the ferret asked in confusion.
"I'll be leaving for an internship on the Isles of Men."
"Whuh-what? Why would you go there?"
"It's a preparation for my thesis. Their society mostly consists of humans, and I'm investigating differences in family life between them and us Evarónians."
"Two months is a long time, though. Won't you forget about me?" the ferret asked in disappointment.
"Of course not, silly! I won't be gone forever. It's only two months."
"You're right, I'm exaggerating," Shawn concluded. "It'll take a while, but you'll return soon enough, right?"
The question was not answered, but only responded to by a sudden fadeout. A few seconds later, the spotlight on Chloe's side of the table lit up again, showing the squirrel with a guitar. She sang a song for Shawn, while I could vaguely see the stage managers alter the scenery and set pieces one last time.
All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin'
It's early morn
The taxi's waitin'
He's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could die
_ _
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
(John Denver - Leavin' on a jetplane)
When the song was over, the lights went out and Chloe left the stage. A few seconds later, a warm light illuminated the stage. We could see Shawn, back in his own bedroom. The ferret sat on a low blanket-covered table which represented his bed, at the left side of the stage.
The rest of the 'bedroom' was empty, save for a television screen in the background, placed in front of the painting Margaret had made. It was a grim-hearted piece of action painting, and I could see she had done multiple layers.
Even the background had different shades of black and gray in it. The foreground consisted of a powerful abstract combination of purple, red, and grayish silver. While the background had been applied carefully, so it covered the entire canvas, the colors had been flung onto the painting with force and energy, creating exploding splatters of different colors.
I decided not to stare at it for too long, as it was a little frightening. Besides, Shawn was speaking up, so my attention was caught by his monologue anyway.
"Finally. After two long months, Chloe is coming back," he said, slowly putting one of his shoes on in the meantime. "I haven't heard anything from her in the past three weeks, but that probably means she's been really busy."
The ferret tied his shoelaces.
"Or is it?" he asked himself, as the light lost some of its warmth. "How can I be sure she hasn't met someone else over there? Someone way better than me?"
He put on his other shoe, his facial expression clearly showing he was pondering.
"It could be anyone. Only the abundance of humans and the lack of squirrels would make it complicated to find someone else, but how hard could it be?"
Shawn tied the other shoelaces as well, and the lights became a little warmer again.
"But then again... she promised she wouldn't forget me," he said to himself, sounding more confident. "If I leave in twenty minutes, I'll be on time at the airport just fine."
He grabbed a remote from his pillow and got up from the bed.
"Let's see what's new," the ferret mused, and switched the television on.
The national public channel was on. Apparently, it was eight o'clock, as the television showed an imitation of the national news bulletin. An arctic rabbit freshman had dressed up in a suit and played to role of the anchorman.
"Good evening. We'll start with a tragic last-minute addition to this evening's bulletin," the rabbit announced. "Flight BC 3223 from the Isles of Men to Evarónah Royal Airport crashed on the beach at around half past seven. Reports from the control tower say the plane had suffered a fatal engine failure. The pilot was able to perform a crash landing, but the majority of the passengers did not survive this harsh maneuver. Eyewitnesses say the plane snapped in two when it hit the shore. The back half, which contained most of the fuel, exploded shortly after."
The color of the lights had changed from warm to neutral, and they were slowly fading to grayish blue. Shawn's gaze was confined to the screen.
"The only three surviving occupants are the co-pilot, an elderly lion and a female squirrel. Only the co-pilot is still conscious, the others are severely injured, and are being kept in the intensive care."
"Chloe!" the ferret interrupted, hoping the survivor would be the squirrel girl he loved.
The image changed to a room that was made to resemble a hospital room. On the side of the bed sat a raccoon, pretending to be injured. Of course, this was another freshman, but he played his role convincingly enough to make us believe otherwise. There was only a single spotlight now, aimed at the television screen.
"My colleague has tried the best he could, but it proved nearly impossible to land on the beach. It's highly remarkable we even reached the shore at all, let alone perform any kind of landing with any survivors. I-I... I'm deeply sorry for all the people who have lost their lives. We could have saved them all, if only I hadn't panicked. The pilot was on his own, trying to save the plane, and I couldn't regain control of myself until we had lost over half of our height already. May the victims rest in peace. I hope their friends and relatives won't judge me for being unable to save all those people, and for my unprofessionalism."
As the co-pilot spoke his last few lines, the television screen showed some images of the two other survivors. First, the elderly lion, who had a wound on his head, a broken arm and several other injuries. Then, the female squirrel, who turned out to be a woman in her forties, rather than a girl in her early twenties.
The spotlight blended in with the full stage lights again, which were now on the cold end of the spectrum. Shawn kept staring at the television as the sound faded away, while the screen showed images of a crashed plane. After a moment of agonizing silence, he spoke up.
"Chloe... y-you're..."
The ferret was trembling at the realization his potential girlfriend would not return to Evarónah, nor to him. Stuttering and mumbling, he sank to his knees. Shawn covered his face with his hands, then fell to the floor with his muzzle facing away from the audience.
In this intense outburst of emotion, he had dropped the remote. When it landed on the stage floor, the television switched to a music channel, showing a video clip. Only a single, cold spotlight on Shawn remained, as we heard Chloe's voice sing one last time.
I think about the night I met you,
I swore I'd never forget you, well I won't
I think about the way you'll live and breathe,
Inside my dreams forever.
You'll be better when I'm gone, you'll be better when I'm gone.
Cause I know your gonna fall in love again.
I'm sorry this is how it has to end.
_ _
When you think of me,
remember the way that I used to be.
Remember the times I held you, tenderly.
Remember the way that I loved you.
That I loved you.
(Boris Titulaer - When you think of me {cover})