Journal of a Changed Slave: Ch.9
#9 of Journal of a Changed Slave
March 18
Master Chris had me brought to his office again today. Arms tied behind my back and leash hooked up to my collar, Ivan took me to see him and left me alone with him. I got on my knees and lowered my head, trying not to shake too bad from fear. I had no idea what to expect, especially after Brian showed up. "I met your old friend yesterday." I gulped a little. He was good at hiding his intentions... I didn't know if he was mad or not.
"Me and him had a talk. He seems to REALLY want to buy you. He seems to be under the impression that you either are Zack Morris or you know something about him." I glanced up at him just in time to see him moving towards me to backhand me as hard as he could. He sent me sprawling, and I immediately started crying, but he grabbed my collar and forced me back to my knees. "What's your FUCKING name!?" He screamed.
"Z-Zorah!" I shouted. I was crying. I was scared.
He kicked me in the side and said, "That's fucking right! So why the fuck are you telling people otherwise!?"
"I'm sorry, Master!" I begged, crying hard. I meant it, too... at the moment, the fact that he was angry with me overshadowed everything else. I just kept repeating "I'm sorry" over and over again, curling up out of fear of more beatings.
"I know you are, slut." He told me, his voice softening up a lot. He pushed my head down and put one of his feet forward, and I knew what to do. I started licking his shoe, as if every lick would somehow pacify him. "Poor little broken bitch. I'll tell you what I told him. You're just a confused, stupid little lizard girl, currently unfit for anything except a sex slave. I bought you after you'd had some major reconstructive surgery after an accident. They put a lot of money into putting your body back together, but you'd gone off the deep end. We took you off their hands to try to rehabilitate you."
He pulled his foot away from me, apparently tired of me slobbering on it. "Despite our best efforts, you'd gone completely nuts... Got your hands on a newspaper, read Zack's Missing Person report, and started constructing all sorts of crazy fantasies, didn't you? And we just can't get you to stop the pretending." He grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at him. I nodded, like everything he said was true... hell, I think a part of me believed him...
I choked out, "I'm sorry..." one more time.
"I know. You're confused. You wanna know who you are. They'd never find a conclusive DNA result from you either, not with all the transfusions, transplants, and chemical treatments you've got." I saw him smile. He was just making sure I knew that I'd never get any accusations against him to stick... "All that being said, though, that Brian guy still wanted to buy you anyway. When you go up for sale, that is."
I whimpered, resisting the urge to beg, plead for him to let me go with Brian... He saw the look in my eyes though, and shook his head. "You guys were good friends, weren't you?" I nodded, making a few more tears roll down my face. "I spent a lot of money on you, and all I got was a faulty product. But if this guy's willing to meet the price, despite all your faults, that might make up for it." I felt my heart lift. I wanted to jump up and hug Master Chris, but I was too scared to move. "I'll have to think about it. Now, you go back to your cell, and remember what the fuck you are." He called in Ivan, who walked in and took my leash.
Looking back on it, I know what Master Chris's concern is. If Brian knows who I am, he wants to be damn sure that no body could prove it. I don't think I ever could. No one would ever believe me, especially with my mind shattered like it is. He's right, I have gone more than a little crazy here... And now that I think about it, I have no idea how a DNA test would turn out. I don't even know how much of my original body is a part of this slut monster one. I don't even care about getting back at him, I just want out of here... I don't want my mind damaged any more than it already is.
March 20
Today, Brian visited me again. That made me so happy. They left me naked again, but at the time I didn't even really think about it. I just hugged him and cried for a few moments before I calmed down and we sat over at the desk.
He bought two hours with me, so we would have time to talk more. He told me that Jessica was going to be coming back in town before long. She'd gone back to live with her parents after I disappeared. He didn't tell me what she said, but she started bawling over the phone... I felt my heart sink. I told him, "I'm scared to see her again... To let her see me like this."
"Zack, if you're really who you say you are, she'll be happy to see you no matter what you look like." Brian told me, calmly. He was always the logical one of us, trying to keep everyone calm, make them look at stuff reasonably. But I probably wasn't in the best state for logic or reason at the time...
"It's not just that...th-they changed me." Despite my best efforts, I started crying again too, before going on, "They changed who I am inside, too. I'm not the same Zack you all knew. I'm..." I couldn't even finish before I started crying again. Brian pulled his chair next to mine and hugged me, trying to reassure me. "They made me a complete whore!" I cried, going into hysterical sobbing.
"No, no. They made you do all this. That doesn't make you a whore." He told me, trying to calm me down.
I buried my face in his shirt again, sobbing. I don't know how much of it he understood, but I remember going on a tirade... "I love getting fucked! I love when they rape me, make me take it! Treat me like a bitch! I moan and I cum and I cry. I love the feel, and the taste... I love it when they hurt me... they spank me, and torture me, and beat me up... and I love it... I feel so guilty but I love it... I'm a slut, Brian, a slutty little nympho... and a masochist..." It didn't help that thinking about all that got me wet too... Fuck, writing this down again is getting me wet...
He just kept patting and stroking my back the whole time, letting me get it all out. After I fell silent again, he spoke up, "You need help, Zack. This isn't anything you asked for, or wanted. You just need help, and we're going to help you, alright?" I nodded, just trembling as he rocked me a little bit, like a little kid. It was nice, though... It did make me feel better.
Time passed like that for a little while, trying to let me settle down. I eventually broke the silence with, "Brian...? Am I being punished for something?" I couldn't even look at him. I just had my face buried in his chest, remembering every little failure that I could remember, but especially that incident that almost destroyed our friendship.
"Of course not. What could make you think that?" He asked.
I gulped, "For all the stuff I used to do... like that one thing with Laurel..."
I felt his arms tighten around me. At first I was afraid it was in anger, but then he said, "Jesus, Zack... that was almost eight years ago. I'd forgiven you for that a long time ago." He hugged me to him for a moment before pulling away. I sheepishly looked up at him, and he was a little teary-eyed too. I think I'd cleared up some of the doubt he had. "We're all going to get you out of here, even if I have to take out a loan."
I nodded, forcing a smile. Without thinking I asked, "How much am I?"
"That doesn't matter." He shook his head. "Jessie and I are going to pool together, and I'm sure Jacob and Will will help out too."
I smiled a little. Jacob and Will were two of my other friends, though, not nearly as close as Brian. "A-Alright... Thank you so much." I said, hugging him again.
"Of course, bud..." He said. I hadn't felt so happy in such a long time. I started thinking about how I'd ever pay him back for all this. It's embarrassing that my mind immediately turned to sexual favors... I'm ashamed that the thought of having sex with Brian doesn't repulse me. I'm sure he'd be sick at even the thought, but... I dunno, he'd be the first guy that I actually liked. At least then I'd be able to repay him for what he might've missed out with Laurel.
When Brian had to leave, I hugged him and gave him another tearful goodbye. He promised he'd come see me again soon, and reminded me that Jessica was going to be in town in a week or two. I didn't question what the hold up was, I was just, and still am, excited and terrified at the prospect. After he left, I had another client, but I honestly don't remember much of it. He bent me over the bed, did me in the ass. My mind was completely elsewhere at the time, though... I was completely on auto-pilot. I at least came, so that took off some of the pressure.
I keep finding myself afraid that these encounters with Brian are all a dream. Like I'm making it all up. Actually, if Master Chris hadn't brought it up, I'd almost be sure of it. I'm scared, but, it's a nice sort of scared, I guess. I'm scared of something good not working, instead of being scared of things getting worse. Hope, I guess. It feels nice to finally have some hope.
March 24
I had a lot of clients the past few days... About six, I think. I don't understand how the introduction of money into the equation makes me feel dirtier, but it's definitely there. I guess part of it is that, for them, this isn't even their job. I'm literally a paid fuck-toy as far as they're concerned. A toy that can't say no to their demands... The worst was a guy that just wanted to get his torture kink off. Hot wax, safety pins through my nipples and clit, stuff like that. Worse, he was the only one who made me orgasm twice. Once from pain, and once from the actual sex.
Another guy had me pretend to be a kitten. For him, they put a cat ear headband on me, and a pair of mittens that looked like cat paws. They even drew a little nose and whiskers on my muzzle, and put a bell on my leash hook. I wasn't allowed to make any noises except purrs and meows (though he let moaning slide...). He was really nice to me, though, so it wasn't so bad. He scratched my head, and pet my tummy. I found out I really enjoy belly rubs for some reason. When he came, he pulled out of me and jizzed all over the floor, making me lick up my "milk" while he watched.
I want to hate all this. I want to hate it so bad. But I find myself looking forward to the next guy, wondering what he'll have me do, see if he introduces any new pleasures to me. I've started to like how they dress me up like a skank when they take me out for my walks... Getting excited when guys check me out, thinking that they might be the next one to come see me. God, I hope Brian can help fix me, somehow... make me stop being a stupid whore...
March 25
Master came to see me today. He told me that if Brian can come up with the money somehow, he'll let him buy me! "You're a faulty product, but one that somebody's willing to pay just about anything for." He told me. I couldn't help myself. I hugged him around the legs, licked his boots, thanking him a thousand times over... He thought it was cute.
I don't know how much he's charging for me, but he told me to expect several months before I could be taken. They have to come up with the money, and Master has to get a few things squared away. I apparently have a doctor's appointment somewhere on the horizon, since I need to be checked out before I can be sold. He reminded me that he could pull the deal any time he wanted, so I had to be on my best behavior.
Jessica, if it means I can see you again, I'll suck a thousand cocks. Maybe then, you can fix me, chase the WHORE out of me. Make me normal again I'll never be normal again, but I'd rather be a freak with you, or even near you, than stay here, alone...
Lost Track
I don't know how long I've been away... it feels like weeks, but I just don't know. I don't know what's going to happen to me any more.
I've been bred. Knocked up... Or at least I probably have been. I don't know why. God, I can't handle this... I can feel my inside churning around... I'm gonna be sick.
I barely remember... Stevo came into my room, told me to follow him. I thought we were going to the dungeon but he took me to a new room. A place I've never been before. It smelled... odd. Strong, too. I'd never smelled something like that, but it made my body all excited. He made me sit on my knees, wait like a good girl... I wanted to be a good girl, so I waited.
He left, and when he came back... he came back with several other men, who were leading other slaves. Male slaves. And then I found out what the smell was. It was them, their scent. Their musk. They were... big, well muscled. They all had simple clothes, most just wearing a pair of jeans. Workers, I think. They all looked pretty happy...
I can't remember the exact conversation, but... I remember Stevo telling me that Chris was using me as a treat for the male slaves... That they deserved a good lizard cunt to have their way with. He told me that I needed to be good, or else... or else I wouldn't be allowed to see Brian again. The males... They were all licking their muzzles and whispering to each other. It seemed like they didn't get much contact with the females. They were waiting for Stevo to say the word. At the time, I was terrified and excited at the same time. I just lowered my head in submission, like I normally do, and Stevo pet my nose. When he finally left, he just told us all to "have fun". I heard him slam the door and the lock click into place.
They didn't waste much time, grabbing me and surrounding me... A few of them shoved each other a little bit, I think they were trying to figure out who was going to take me first... I remember one of them saying, "Don't worry, we know what you like." I started having a panic attack. I started whimpering and trying to get away, trying to run away from them, but they held me still.
"I'm sorry, I'm scared! I'm scared!!" I begged, but they all either laughed or ignored me. A few of them stroked my face, trying to calm me down, but it didn't really work... I heard the sound of zippers and saw most of them slipping out of what little clothes they had, and when they did, I felt my stomach sink into my hips. They were huge, way bigger than anything I'd been expected to take before... They were long and thick, with little definition other than a bit of a weird bulge at the tip. I became VERY familiar with lizard cock by the end of the night. I don't know how similar they are to other reptiles, but I guess that doesn't really matter. God, the smell was overwhelming... I could barely think.
I felt them shift around and then a short scuffle... growling and snapping... It only made my panic attack worse. I started crying. One of them was apparently stronger than the others, since he shoved them aside and they stopped fighting with him over me. He grabbed me by the ankle and yanked me onto my back, sliding onto his knees and stroking his dick. He said, "Fuck off, I'll be the first to breed her!"
My heart sank and lurched forward at the same time. I yanked away from him but he just grabbed my ankles and pulled me back. "Breed!?" I screamed, eyes flooding. Up until then, I hadn't ever even considered the risk of pregnancy, but thanks to him it hit me like a brick shit-house. He just looked at me, a look in his eyes I think was a mix of humor and affection.
"Master said to breed you." He said, reaching over and putting a hand on my belly. I shrieked and cried, trying to pull away from him.
"No! No please!" I begged, but I was no match for him. He was probably twice my size. I felt him angle himself and squeeze right into me, despite me trying to avoid it. I moaned like a slut. His cock reached deeper into me than I had ever felt before... It hurt. It hurt so good.
I felt another settle behind me, stroking my belly and squeezing my tits. He licked the side of my face. "You're so beautiful." He told me, licking my tears away. I just kept begging them to stop, and he told me, "Please don't worry. You'll be a wonderful mother." I felt him sliding his dick between my ass cheeks, just fondling my body while the first started hammering into my pussy. He was squeezing my ankles so tight it hurt.
"I don't want this, please!" I screamed, but it came out like a moan too. I looked around the room... at all the horny males waiting to have a go at me. Some of them looked at me pitifully, others didn't care. None of them looked like they wanted to back down though...
I remember squealing loudly when the one behind me pushed my tail aside and slipped into my asshole, hoisting my hips up to give him a better angle. Between crying, moaning, and screaming, I could no longer speak. It hurt so bad, but I LOVED it. I loved feeling them hammering into me... the fact that their cocks seemed perfectly shaped to touch all my good spots...
I felt one grab my hair and say, "I want to use her too." I opened my whore mouth for him, instinctively, and he shoved his entire length into my muzzle. It reached much farther into my mouth than any of the slavers had, but at least still not enough to choke me. I clenched my lips around him, licking and sucking like I've grown to love doing. The taste was overwhelming... it was like a drug. Still though, I couldn't stop crying. The thought of being a mother... it terrifies me, as much now as it did then. Despite all I'd been through, it was yet another line I wasn't prepared to cross but was getting shoved violently over it.
One grabbed my by the wrist and started having me jerk him off. It only took a moment for me to decide that I liked the feel and started doing it by myself. Another liked the idea and had me do the same with my other hand. This went on for a little while. I guess it takes longer for scalies to cum than humans, but that trait apparently didn't apply to me, since I managed to climax several times before the one I was jerking off shot his load on my chest. There so much of it, at least twice that of a normal human, and pretty thick... The smell only got stronger. I felt the one in my cunt tense up, and I knew he was about to cum.
My heart skipped a beat. I let go of the other cock and pulled my head away from another's crotch. "No! NO! PLEASE!" I screamed, sobbing. Hysterical. But he pushed all the way in and shot his seed right into me. I could feel it filling me up... flooding my insides. Christ, I could FEEL his sperm... wriggling around in me, violating me even further than any of these men had before! I sobbed hard as the two I was pleasuring before angrily forced me to resume, putting my hand and mouth back to work.
The big male panted, basking in the afterglow, keeping himself hilted inside me. He rubbed my tummy, like he was massaging his seed deeper into me. "I sure hope my seed fertilizes at least one of your eggs. I got a head start on these assholes, heheh." He chuckled, licking my tummy. He pulled out, and I could feel a lot of his cum oozing out of my pussy as he got up and walked away, but immediately another male shoved someone aside and pounced me. He shoved his cock right in and started thrusting hard and fast. I guess he was trying to seed me as fast as he could to give him a better chance at impregnating me...
He smothered me, sandwitching me between the two men. I felt him bite down on my shoulder, giving him a better grip for fucking me. I squealed, muffled by the cock in my mouth which decided that was a good time to fill me up more. I climaxed again, gulping down his cum and feeling the cock in my ass twitch and explode inside me. I couldn't breathe. Once those two were done, the one biting me rolled onto his back and put me on top of him, leaving my ass propped up and exposed for anyone else who wanted me. It didn't take long. My mouth wasn't empty for long either.
Oh God... it went on for so long... One would cum, and another would take his spot... By the time the last one got done, the first one was ready for another go. I fainted. One shot his cum directly into my throat. I couldn't keep up, I couldn't breathe fast enough to keep up with the exertion. I passed right the fuck out, and when I woke up, I was still getting fucked. Someone was tit-fucking me, and getting a load of cum to the face is what actually woke me up. I screamed. A genuine, horror filled scream. But, because I'm such a fucking slut, even that turned into a moan before it could finish.
I lost track of how many times I climaxed, or they climaxed... I think each of them creamed my pussy at least once... I heard a knock on the door, and I felt like God himself was coming to my rescue. The males finished up and started cleaning themselves off. I just laid there, too sore and too tired to move. I was too weak to cry anymore. I heard Stevo's voice above me. "Damn, you're a fucking MESS!" He cried, laughing at me. I looked down at myself... There wasn't an inch of my body that wasn't covered in spooge. That... musky, drug-like fluid... I opened my mouth to whimper and accidentally blew a small bubble with all the cum in it...
I remember saying, "I'm scared" but I don't know why I bothered mentioning it. He left and came back with a towel, wrapping me up in it so he could carry me without getting himself all messy. Next thing I knew, I was in bed... I had to spend the last hour or so trying to clean myself up... At first it was a hysterical thing, trying to squeeze all the sperm out of my pussy, like it would help. I spread my legs and licked as deep as I could go, but there was no way I could get all of it... and it was probably too late already.
This isn't fair. This isn't fucking fair. I can't get pregnant. I can't have CHILDREN. I'm not even supposed to be a woman let alone a MOTHER! I'm not supposed to be this thing! I'm a MAN Goddamn it! God DAMN you! DAMN YOU ALL!!!! I'm supposed to be a fucking MALE! A MAN!! How could you take that from me!?!
It's useless... I'm just a stupid slut. A whore. A slave. My life, and my body, isn't my own anymore. It belongs to other people. Other people who apparently want to see a baby in me. I belong to the Master, now. Oh God... how can I face Jessica now...?