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This sucks... I haven't felt this out of things since the last time I got a hangover from binging on apple cider. I got dragged out of bed to say goodbye to the princesses, and not even twenty minutes later, I'm on the next train outta Canterlot.

Things were really quiet. You'd think somepony would at least try to start up a conversation to help pass the time. It's at least an hour to get from Canterlot to Ponyville by train, after all. But nopony did. None of us said a thing.

I'd normally be a chatterbox during boring times like that. But... How could I even talk? I don't even really know what to write. All of these emotions are new to me... I can't believe he's gone... Just... Now those stupid tears are building up in my eyes again. Please, I want to stop crying... My eyes and head hurt enough already.

I never knew what it's like to fall in love until I met him. It felt so good... It wasn't until I got to spend some quality time with him in the sky that I started to see the inner him. The way he watched my back and I watched his in the Everfree Forest that night... I learned something important from him that day. But now that he's gone... James, why didn't I stick with you when I found you? I can't believe everything you did. Is that how much we meant to you? You became a total monster... But was that all according to Discord's plan? Was he planning to turn you into that just to see what would happen?

He was still himself when I found him... The instant I got my wings back, I went looking for him. I... I felt him die in my arms... Why couldn't I do anything?! I'm the one who's connected to the Element of Loyalty, darn it! Why couldn't I save the most important man in the world to me?! I pleaded and screamed for him to stay with me...and he still left us... Maybe we deserve this... We promised... Pinkie Promised, even... And we still ended up failing him.

All I could do was look out the window the entire time. The rain started to pick up along the way. I couldn't see anything past the water pouring down the window. All I could see was my reflection. My eyes were bloodshot. I didn't sleep well that night. In that reflection...I could almost see him looking back at me as he lay there...dying...

I squinted my eyes shut and bumped my forehead against the window. It hurt so much... I'd rather have both my wings broken and me wrapped up in a full body cast than feel this pain! Maybe... Maybe if he... On Hearts and Hooves Day... Maybe if he left Fluttershy for me, he'd still be... No, that's really sick, Rainbow. You shouldn't think like that... But still, it was Fluttershy who... In the end...

The train pulled into town and we all got out. There was hardly anypony else on the train besides the six of us. We instantly got soaked, but it's not like any of us cared. Even Rarity wasn't throwing much of a fit when her mane and tail got soaked. We all turned to Twilight. She's usually the brains when something bad happens.

She looked at all of us and spoke with a really worn out tone of voice. "Well... Let's all go home... We need to rest and... I need some time alone to really think about all this..."

"I think we all do... I'll... I'll see you girls tomorrow, right?" Pinkie Pie asked, her mane and coat still being that weird darker shade of pink that I've only seen once before.

"Of course, darling... We're still friends, after all..." Rarity then muttered while trying to crack a smile. It didn't show though.

We all started to make our way home. And for once, I just couldn't bring myself to fly. And Fluttershy... She didn't say anything. She just shambled away without even blinking. But before I got far, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I looked to the right and saw Applejack looking at me. Her hat was keeping her dry and she had a big white bandage over her bruised eye while dabbed in ointment to help with the swelling. "Hey... Wanna come over ta my place until the rain clears up?"

I'm guessing more of Discord's cotton candy clouds moved in while we were gone and turned into normal rain clouds once he was...dead... "Sure... Lead on..."

Hardly anypony was out in the rain. We eventually ducked under a shop's awning to get out of the rain for a little bit. But Applejack then reached under her hat and pulled out a slip of paper. "Thought ya'd wanna see this. It's... It's one of the invitations for...you know."

I guess Princess Luna must've passed one of the first ones that were printed. I took a look and... Oh man, the tears started building up again. It was an entirely black card, but with James' cutie mark taking up most of the top half while the rest was written in white text. "In loving memory... James of Ponyville... You are invited to our friend's final farewell to pay tribute to a friend of Equestria..."

There was some more, like when it would be happening, but I couldn't keep reading. I handed it back to Applejack and almost lost my balance. Good thing she was there to keep me up. She's always been an awesome friend. "Ya loved the guy, didn't you?"

"You know it... Never thought it'd happen...but it did..." I couldn't lie about it. I mean I'd deny it if it kept my reputation going with everypony else in town, but I could share it with a close friend.

Once I finally started to catch myself, Applejack brought up a question I had been trying to not think about. "What're we gonna tell the youngin's...? They're probably at my place right now."

The kids... James was part of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. And Scoot... He adopted her as... "We'll have to tell them... I can't do it alone though..."

"I'll do it with ya, Rainbow. I just hope they don't take it too hard...but who am I kiddin'?" Applejack said while trying to crack a smile. Sure enough, she couldn't do it. Nothing to smile about right there.

The rest of the walk isn't worth mentioning. Just some of the most miserable weather I've seen in months. And right as we stepped into Applejack's place, there they were. And I have to admit, I got a bit of a laugh outta it. The three girls had Granny Smith laced up with some ropes tied to her arms that looked like they were looped around the rafters in the ceiling that led into the kitchen and upstairs. I think she was taking a nap and was wearing a pair of glasses with fake eyes placed behind the lenses. Apple Bloom looked like she was having tea with her. "So, uh... Granny Smith? About back when the Apple family first moved in around here? Who was the first pony ta move in after y'all?"

For some reason, Granny Smith's mouth moved while a voice up the stairs spoke up in reply. But it was just Sweetie Belle talking with a phony accent. "The first? Well...uh... That was..." She then stuck her head down the stairs and called out through the posts. "Hey, Scoot! Do you remember who Granny Smith said was her first customer for that zap apple jam?"

Scootaloo then called out from somewhere in the kitchen. "Why're you asking me?! I'm not her granddaughter! But I think... Wasn't it some guy called Stinking Rich?"

"Who gets stuck with a name like Stinking Rich?! Oh well... Ahem... Oh, that was Stinkin' Rich! He bought half of our entire stock of zap apple jam that year! And that's how Ponyville started!" Well, Applejack and I just couldn't keep ourselves from laughing. Man, I really needed that too. What the hay were those girls doing to her?!

Our laughter got their attention right away. Apple Bloom looked our way and grinned really brightly. "Huh? Oh, hey sis! Howdy, Rainbow Dash! Where were ya?!"

Sure enough, the other two started coming into the room. But they forgot to let go of the ropes and ending up dragging Granny Smith's head into the ceiling before they almost got yanked off their hooves. That woke her up right away with the old mare hanging from the ceiling by her arms. "Huh?! Whazat?! Where am I?! Who left the stove on?!"

"Oops! Sorry, Granny Smith!" Scootaloo spoke up before she and Sweetie Belle backed up to lower her back down into her rocking chair.

"Well, hey there, youngin's. All cooped up in here? It's rainin' cats and dogs out there!" Granny Smith said while rocking a bit in her chair. But then she took a good look at us. "Well, you fillies look like ya got soaked to the bone out there! I'll go whip up a fresh batch of hot cider in a jiffy."

Once Granny Smith was out of the room, the kids then turned their attention to us. Apple Bloom was the first to speak up. "Where were ya, Applejack? Spike came by yesterday and said that ya had somethin' important goin' on up in Canterlot. Is somethin'... Wait! What's wrong with yer eye?!"

Didn't take long for them to notice that cotton patch over it, huh? Applejack tried to crack a reassuring smile to keep them from getting too worried while she lifted it out of the way. "Oh, this? I just got walloped pretty good. Just a good ol' black eye."

Yeah, the girls reacted to that about as well as I expected. They all cringed and backed away together. "Ewwwwww!!!"

Applejack quickly put the patch back over her eye while grinning nervously. "Well, now ya know why I'm wearin' this patch. It ain't pretty. It'll be fine though. Just give it a while and it'll be back ta normal."

Sweetie Belle then came closer. "Well, if you're here, does that mean Rarity's home too?"

"Yep... I reckon she's home by now, sugarcube. We all came home on the same train. But now, would ya mind tellin' me what y'all were doin' with Granny Smith just now?" Applejack looked like she was trying to avoid the problem for as long as she could. I was too... But with Scootaloo there, it wouldn't take long for it to be brought up.

Apple Bloom suddenly looked back at her flank while the other girls did the same. But there was still no cutie mark. "Hmm... Well, look's like we ain't gettin' our cutie marks by bein' ventriloquists."

Scootaloo then took a couple of steps forward. "That's OK. We'll just ask James for some suggestions at our next meeting. Hey, that's right! He came home with you guys, right?"

I felt my gut twist itself into a knot when I heard those words. The kids weren't going to take this well at all. As much as I wanted to tell them... Well, OK, I didn't wanna tell them at all. But still... I looked at Applejack. She always has a knack for being honest. She nodded at me before looking at the kids. "Yeah... About him... Girls, I've got some terrible news..."

Sweetie Belle came a bit closer while still showing that cute little smile of hers. "It can't be that bad. I heard from Scootaloo that all of you got called up to Canterlot by the princesses. And since you came home, everything must be OK!"

"All of us except him, that is..." I managed to say while being totally unable to even look at them. "Girls... This... This isn't easy for me to say. But he... James...died yesterday."

Well, they took it better than I expected at first. They just looked at us with confused stares. Finally, it was Scootaloo who answered. But she looked pretty annoyed. "Wow, Rainbow Dash. That's the unfunniest joke you've ever said. Come on, where is he? Is he home yet? Can I go see him now?"

Yeah. Denial. No surprise there. I looked at Applejack again. "Show them, AJ."

She reached under her hat and dropped the little slip of paper in front of them. They all took a closer look at it before Scootaloo picked it up. "In loving memory...?"

I could almost feel the tears coming back to me. I really didn't want to cry in front of the kids, but I couldn't help it. "He died in my arms... There was nothing I could do..."

I really wasn't expecting what happened next. Scootaloo grabbed the thing by her teeth and tore it to shreds. "This isn't funny! You're really pushing it now, Rainbow Dash!"

All three of them looked up at us with really angry glares. Sweetie Belle then spoke up. "He's not really dead! He's one of us! He'll come home soon, right?"

Applejack sighed and shook her head. "Girls... You know I'd never lie ta you 'bout somethin' like this. I wish it wasn't real either, but..."

Apple Bloom didn't give her the chance to finish. She got right up in her face. Or at least she would if she was as tall as Applejack. "Well, yer lyin' to our faces now! It's not true! And you know it!"

Applejack started to get pretty defiant by that point. You know, sisterly quarreling and the like. With tears starting to stream down her face, she started to raise her voice. "Hey, I'm just tellin' it like it is! Don't go thinkin' I'm not bothered by this, all right? I was there, Apple Bloom. I saw him lyin' out in..."

Scootaloo was the one who ended the whole thing right there. She pretty much just screamed at us right before running up the stairs. "Shut up! It's not true! It's not true!!!"

One by one, the other girls followed her right up the stairs until they were gone. And right after that, I heard a door slam. Probably all rounded up in Apple Bloom's room. I looked at Applejack while she looked at me. She was crying. I did what I could and draped my wing over her to pull her close. "I just don't get it, Rainbow... Why'd this have ta happen...?"

"I wish I knew, AJ..." I really didn't have an answer. I could feel the tears coming too. I still remember the moment when his grip on my hoof went limp. It still hurts... Oh god, it hurts... I loved that man...and he died right in front of me.

We looked towards the kitchen when we heard the sound of rusty and cracking joints. Granny Smith was standing in the doorway with two big warm glasses of hot apple cider topped with whipped cream set on a tray on her back. "I heard everythin', youngin's. There's been a death in the family, eh?"

"Extended family, Granny. James, he..." Applejack tried to talk, but she had to catch herself when she was about to have a breakdown.

"I know... Don't get yerself all worked up, youngin'. Just sit down for a spell and relax." She nudged a couple of stools over to her rocking chair for us to sit on. Once we were sitting down, she handed us those glasses of cider before she took a seat in her rocking chair. "It just ain't the right order of things... He was a real quiet fella unless ya spoke up. Then he could get pretty chatty."

James never really interacted with Granny Smith all that often. But whenever he stopped by Sweet Apple Acres for a little volunteering for some extra bits and she wasn't taking a nap, they got along really well. He always thought she's a really funny and cool grandma. It just... I can't believe how much I hate thinking of someone important to me in the past tense...

Not much later, I was just walking through town. Still raining like somepony forgot to turn the clouds off. I'll have to take care of that tomorrow. I didn't even have the urge to fly. I couldn't... I felt so...heavy. But while I was walking, I swung by a place I never really stopped by. The local bar.

I just stared at it for a minute. It's pretty weird. When you're depressed, you get a really weird urge to drink even when it tastes bad. And that urge was calling louder than ever before. So I went inside and pulled up a stool to the counter. The place didn't have many ponies in it, so I just set my head down on the counter until the bartender noticed me.

"Hey there, Rainbow Dash. What brings you by here?" I heard a voice speak up ahead of me. Berry Punch was standing behind the counter. She's a wiz at coming up with all sorts of fruit beverages, including some stronger stuff. She's also the bartender.

"No questions, OK? Just set me up with something strong." I really wasn't in the mood to talk. Just in the mood to try to drown my sorrows.

She tried to give me a little compassionate smile while she started rooting around the bottles on display behind the counter. "Sure thing. You OK though? Did the Wonderbolts turn you down?"

I know she was just trying to help and lend an ear. Lots of bartenders do that. "No... It's just... I really don't wanna talk about it."

Once she finished whipping something up that used a bunch of different booze with lots of different colors, she set the glass down in front of me. "Here you go. Pretty strong stuff here... What're you writing?"

I guess she noticed this journal. Well, I decided to be honest. "It's to help me cope... Just don't go anywhere, all right? I think I'm gonna be here for a while..."

I'm setting the quill down for now. I wanna get this stuff in me before I start crying again. At least if I'm a bit intoxicated, I can blame it on the booze and nopony can say I'm going soft.

Oh wow, everything's spinningggg. Heheh, the clouds in my house are all moving. Are they talking to mee? Man, that stuff really loosened up my head. What time is it?

Whatever. I'm in bed now. I don't wanna write anymoooree. I'll just cry myself to sleep now. Yeah, I can feel the tears coming on really fast now. Wish you were still here, big guy. You could've had me instead, but you chose the wuss. Your loss...

---

When was the last time I did not mind getting myself soaked in the rain? Was I truly feeling that detached? My heart was still weeping. The shock had passed, but the grieving had not. I am not even certain if the grieving in my heart will ever truly end.

I stood outside the door to my home. And for once, I was dreading stepping inside. Mitta was likely there. And she... What was I going to tell her? That her savior has fallen and that I had a hoof in his demise? I gently lifted the sign from my door's handle and pushed it open. The sound of a bell chimed above my head. My workroom was just as I left it yesterday. A few mannequins and unfinished dresses here and there, though the room was mostly open and bare. And sure enough, somepony entered the room from the far end. "Good afternoon. I'm sorry, but we're currently closed until... Oh, Rarity!"

Sure enough, it was Mitta. My dear gray and crimson assistant. She trotted over to me with a welcoming smile, but it quickly turned into a gaze of concern. "Are you all right? Why are you soaked like this?"

I sighed while looking myself over. My beautiful mane and tail were completely weighed down by the rain, which was pooling in a puddle around my hooves. "Well, I certainly was not expecting such a downpour. If I had known it would've been like this, I would have brought a parasol. But how have you been holding up? I trust everything is well? Has little Opal been good for you?"

Mitta looked around at our surroundings, my work environment being completely unchanged from when I left the house to meet my friends at the train station the previous day. "I watched the place like you asked. I didn't touch anything in here and did a little inventory check while you were gone. And Opal's been fine. Still doesn't like me that much, but that's OK. But...are you sure you're all right? You don't...look so good."

There was no hiding the truth by then. But...I had to think of how I was going to break the news to her. Mitta and James were always close. It was he who rescued her from the cursed confines of... What was the name of that town in the Everfree Forest he mentioned? It has been quite a while. Sunny Town? That sounds about right. Mitta has always looked to him for support. I have done all I can to help ease her into life in Ponyville, but he has truly been her pillar of support.

I began to walk slowly towards the stairwell next to the hall, my soaked hair leaving a trail of water in my wake. "No, Mitta... I am not all right. I have never been less all right in my entire life... The worst possible thing has come to pass..."

I did not get much further. I felt my body give out from me once again. My vision became blurred with tears. But Mitta was quick to rush to my side. "Hold on. Let me get you upstairs. A warm shower should help."

That sweetheart carried me right upstairs and into my own bathroom. And by Celestia's crown, did that shower feel good. The chill from the rain was gone. But the tears... They did not stop. Even under the torrent of warm water, I could feel the tears flowing free and merging with it. I did not even bother completely washing myself. I just needed the heat to perk me up. "Towel, please..."

Mitta held a towel just outside the shower door, allowing me to grasp it in a levitation spell. I dried myself off as thoroughly as I could, my tail and mane quickly regaining their lovely curls. Once I stepped out of the shower, Mitta was there to greet me. "Are you all right now? Would some warm tea help? We have plenty of chamomile."

Sweet dear Mitta. Always trying to be so supportive. The offer of warm tea certainly sounded inviting. "I would appreciate that... If you may, could you bring it up to my room? There's something in there that I must tend to."

"All right. I'll bring it up as soon as it's done." Mitta departed quickly. Perhaps she could see how distraught I was. Regardless, I entered my bedroom and closed the door behind me. There were only a few bare mannequins in the room aside from my wardrobe, secondary workstation, and luxurious bed. However, what I was searching for was nearby. One of my most important projects.

It stood taller than me, a curtain hanging from the wall set up around it. And with a magical pull, the curtain parted. Standing before me was a mannequin crafted in the visage of a human. And adorning it was an incomplete ensemble. At the bottom lay a pair of polished black shoes with brass buckles. The trousers were as white as the purest clouds. And the white jacket... Oh, I put my all into getting the design just right! A design that is both spectacular, yet comfortable for the wearer. With twin tails much like those of a swallow hanging from the back. And on the upper arms... Sewn into the fabric was a pair of patches. Each designed to resemble a pair of doves, talons locked with wings spread... His cutie mark...

No... It was not the time for tears. It was near completion and his funeral is only a week away. You must be strong, Rarity. Finish it. Do it for your beloved! If not to be worn to every Grand Galloping Gala from this day forward, then it will be the last thing he ever wears!

My resolve strengthened for the moment, I set about completing my project. I locked my door and gathered my supplies. While my equipment floated within hoof's reach, I placed my magnifying spectacles upon my nose. Were the tails on the jacket too short? Are the cutie mark patches at just the right height? Buttons or zipper... Oh, certainly brass buttons! Is that a seam on the trousers that has not been closed? I circled and circled and stitched and cut and sewed. Not a single flaw escaped my gaze. And finally... It was done.

I stood before the finest attire I had ever crafted for a human. Beautiful... Simply beautiful. Tears of sorrow and pride flowed from my eyes. It was fantastic. Princely, even. I could already see him standing before me in it. Casting such a warm and thankful smile towards me. He dropped to one knee, taking my hoof in hand and placing a tender kiss upon it. His words... Asking if he may be my knight for the evening... Oh, Sir James... I would gladly be yours for the evening...

"Rari...ty? Uh... Are you OK?" I heard a voice speak from the doorway, bringing me out of my trance. I froze. My hoof was extended toward the... Oh dear, how embarrassing. I must have forgotten to lock the door when I closed it. I pulled my hoof away instantly while trying to smile, my hoof wiping my tears away. I do not think anypony has ever walked in on me having one of my fantasies before. Well, except for the time where Rainbow Dash crashed into my window while I... That is a story for another day.

One look at the doorway revealed the speaker to be Mitta. And resting upon her back was a tea tray carrying a teapot and a pair of tiny cups. She seemed both baffled and concerned for me. Rightfully so. "Um... Why were you posing like that? And... Oh, it's finished?!"

She trotted over to me and beheld my latest masterpiece. "It's...beautiful! Is this what you were talking about? James' new Grand Galloping Gala attire?"

"It is... The previous one, while spectacular with real gold thread woven in, felt...off. But now that I have a much stronger grasp of his true nature, I wove something to project the real him. And...it turned out fabulous." I spoke softly while still basking in its beauty. Of course, it would never see the Grand Galloping Gala now... In a mere week, it would be buried in the ground never to be seen again.

I proceeded to pull over a spare round table and a pair of stools for us. Once the tray was set out before us, I used levitation to pour us both a steaming cup of tea. The faint scent of honey wafted from the golden fluid. Truly the unmistakable aroma of chamomile tea with some extra honey added in. "Many thanks for the tea, Mitta..."

"It's no problem... But... Do you want to talk? I've never seen you this...upset before. Well, actually... I've seen you about this upset before when something really wasn't going your way or you were stressed from a heavy workload, but...this feels different somehow." She replied softly while sipping her tea. I could see it in her crimson eyes. She knew something was amiss.

I dreaded what would happen if she learned the truth. Of course, I could not hide it forever. "Mitta... What I am about to say... It is not easy for me, all right? It involves our friend."

She seemed confused at first. But after a second of silence, she glanced over at the beautiful attire I had just woven. "You mean James? He went to Canterlot with you just yesterday, right? How did that go?"

"Well... We accomplished what the princesses asked of us... So I suppose you can say it was a success...even if it came with a heavy cost." I was terrified to speak the truth. There had to be a way to ease her into it. I know Mitta values James highly. The first friend she had gained since...however long ago that curse was placed upon her. It was he who went back for her. Braved the dangers of the Everfree Forest. And entirely on his own. Just to bring her to the princesses of the moon to purify her.

"Heavy cost? What was it? The castle wasn't damaged, was it?" She asked in return, still completely ignorant to the nature of the sacrifice we had endured... I turned my gaze to the attire covering the human mannequin nearby, which Mitta soon did as well. "It really is lovely, Rarity. I can't wait to see him wear it to the Grand Galloping Gala."

It was then that I decided to relay the truth to her. My heart heavy, I spoke quietly. "No... It will never see the Grand Galloping Gala now. The only time it will be worn is during his funeral."

Mitta immediately turned her head to face me, her expression of bewilderment slowly turning into one of horror. "At his funeral? Why would... Wait... Rarity, you don't mean... He's not...?"

I bowed my head. The tears swiftly returned to me as I spoke the truth. "A grave crisis grew shortly after our arrival. James got swept up in it and... He fell in battle against the Spirit of Chaos... He's gone, Mitta... Gone and there wasn't a thing we could do to save him..."

Her stare was blank. She did not speak at all for a moment. At first, I thought she was in shock. However, she then began to speak quietly. "You're serious...? He's...dead?"

I nodded solemnly. "He is... I saw him lie dead before me. And even at the hospital, I was the one the doctor relayed the news to... I wish it was all a lie, but..."

Mitta turned her gaze to the cup of tea. Her eyes... They did not shed tears. They seemed...troubled, but also confused. As if she was uncertain of how to process what I had just said to her. Could it be that being trapped out there in that cursed town for centuries had dulled her ability to respond to certain events? I finally spoke up in concern. "Mitta... Darling, are you all right?"

"I don't know, Rarity... I'm not entirely certain of what to feel... I know you wouldn't lie to me, but...I'm not sure if I believe you." She quietly said in return. She then lifted her gaze until she was looking at me with such a...conflicted stare. "It's been so long since I last felt loss... It was different with Ruby. I never forgot about what happened with her, but...it just dissolved into a state of depression and self-loathing after a while. I... I just don't know what to think of this. I feel a sting in my heart, but..."

I saw a tear fall from her cheek, so I lifted a napkin to it to dry her coat. "I know... I... I still am having difficulty coming to terms with the loss myself... His funeral will be held in exactly one week, Mitta. Maybe then you will understand how to feel. It will be our last chance to say goodbye..."

"Thank you for telling me, Rarity. I'll be sure to attend... Uh... May I be excused? I... I just need some time to get my thoughts together..." I could not refuse her request. With a nod, I gave her permission to depart.

Once again, I was alone. And soon, I stood before the final ensemble I had ever crafted for my beloved. I know his heart belonged to another, but my heart still pined for him. Such is its nature. I reached out to it, hoping to maybe feel him through it. But as I did, I saw it on my hoof. The bracelet. That silver band lined with opals. I had all but forgotten.

I could still remember... Mere days after his arrival. I saw when we first met how he had nowhere to go. It would not do for a newcomer to have nowhere to stay for the night. And I had to make it up to him after smashing his forehead into my doorway by accident... He was so modest. Almost as if he was unwilling to accept all my aid. But I had to do something for the wayward soul. And then...after weaving for him that gorgeous robe to be worn to the Grand Galloping Gala, he bestowed upon me that wondrous gift. I saw it within him then at that moment. Such generosity. The same as mine... And now...the one who gave me this lovely band is...

Tears once more clouded my vision. A new wrath filled my heart. Not towards anyone else, but towards myself. He gave me this gift, and I threw him away without ever once thinking of it. I rushed to the window, pushing it open before sliding my bracelet off. "I am not worthy of this... For what I did to you, I do not deserve this gift!"

Using the levitation spell, I hurled it out the window. I lowered my head. It was gone. That lovely gift, but...I did not deserve to keep it. However, I soon turned my head up. I had heard something. The tree just outside my home. At first, I could not see anything through the rain. But with the next flash of lightning, I saw it. The bracelet had not fallen to the ground. It had become snagged on the tip of a branch. It hung there, forlornly. As if mocking me for my failure. No matter how the wind blew, it did not fall.

I looked down at my ankle. For the first time in a year, it was bare. I never removed it. I always kept it close. A gift that was not requested, yet given it was. I turned my gaze to the bracelet hanging outside my window. I could have removed it with levitation and cast it again, but... I did not. I felt that would be the best place for it to stay. A permanent reminder of what I have lost. A reminder of what the last things I did and said to him were...

No more... I cannot continue writing. My eyes are so tired... So painful. I must sleep. I need to deliver that attire to Canterlot in the morning.

---

It's been a long day. I mean a really long day. Just... Well, I'm sure Rainbow Dash already wrote down what happened with the fillies. I just sat there with Granny Smith while sipping that hot cider. Along with the clicking of the clock on the wall, all I heard was the sound of the rain out the door.

She just rocked back and forth in her chair, although it was kind of hard to notice. After a while, I just looked down at my reflection on the surface of the cider in my glass. I could still see the bandage over my eye. I definitely got what I had coming with that...

"Got somethin' on yer mind, Applejack?" Granny Smith asked while I just sat there all quiet like. I guess she had every right to be worried. I hadn't felt that torn up inside since back when we lost Ma and Pa.

It took me a while, but I finally managed to force out some words without even looking at her. "The last thing I ever said to 'im was that I always hated him..."

She just looked at me for a minute. That familiar lazy stare. "Y'all didn't really mean that, did ya?"

"Of course I didn't, Granny! But I was stuck under some sorta corruption by that Discord jerk! And I promised I wouldn't fall for his tricks again!" I barked out like Winona does to stampeding sheep. I really didn't mean to, but... I was just so mad at myself. I then just looked down at myself in my glass again. "And he died...not knowin' that I wasn't myself. He died thinkin' I really did hate 'im... And I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for that..."

Granny Smith just shook her head. "Applejack... I've heard some real heartbreakin' stories in my years, but that's just one of the saddest things I've ever heard of. And I wish I could help ya. But just remember this, youngin'. He probably still loved ya in the end. I've seen that fella 'round before and he didn't seem like the type ta leave his friends that easily. I'm sure even if ya didn't tell 'im, he's lookin' down at ya right now."

If only she knew... "Granny... You don't know how right ya are... When we found 'im, he had drawn out our cutie marks in his own blood... I don't know if I should feel more ashamed or honored he did that..."

"He did that, huh...? And yer cutie mark was one of 'em?" I only nodded. I'll never forget those pictures of red... "Well... I know I'd feel honored if a good friend did that for me in his last minutes. He must've really loved you girls."

"He did, Granny... I know he did..." I felt the tears coming again. It just hurt... Knowing you were on the mind of someone important to you right up to the end... Even if you had a hoof in his death. I don't even know how to put into words how I felt right there. But before I could say anything else, I saw someone look at me from my left. Right next to my head. My big brother. "Big Macintosh...?"

"I heard, AJ..." He said really quietly. Even more quietly than he normally talks. I could tell that he was trying to hold back tears. He might be quiet, but Big Macintosh is a pretty emotional guy.

I really couldn't say much. I looked at him while my vision got a might blurred. "So... You know?"

He gently held me in a warm brotherly hug while I did the same. I felt a tear fall on my back. "Eyup..."

With all that rain, it was too much trouble to do any harvesting for the day. We all stayed indoors. In took a few hours, but the Cutie Mark Crusaders eventually came back downstairs. Well, all of them except for Apple Bloom. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo didn't even look at me before they ran out the door. I reckon they were just going home. I didn't see Apple Bloom again until after dark.

I was about ready to turn in for the night, but I couldn't stop worrying about my little sister. I peeked in on her in her bedroom. It was quiet. I was probably the only one still up. At least until I saw her look my way. She looked hurt. Almost like she had been crying. "Whaddya want, sis...?"

I felt myself sigh. I could see it in her eyes. "I'm just checkin' on you. Ya had me worried by stayin' cooped up in yer room all day."

I stood right next to her bed. Apple Bloom was having a hard time looking at me. "I'm fine... Just havin' trouble sleepin' tonight."

"Apple Bloom... I'm sorry. I was just bein' honest when I told ya that." I knew the news of James' death was the trouble. She and the other girls didn't take it very well, especially after I showed them the proof.

"Yeah? Well...I still think yer lyin'..." She was trying really hard to not believe he could be gone. And I don't blame her.

I gently nuzzled her cheek to show I was there for her. It ain't easy to lose someone, especially when you're just a kid. "Believe me, lil' sis. I wish I was lyin' too. I wish this wasn't happenin'..."

She didn't say anything for a minute, so I tried to break the ice. "Do ya miss him?"

"Uh huh... But he's..." She then looked up at me as tears started flowing down her cheeks. "He's not really... He's gonna be home soon, right?"

I couldn't lie to her about that. I gently rubbed her little head, her bow being on her nightstand on the other side of her bed. "Apple Bloom... It's like that lil' slip of paper said. You'll have the chance to say goodbye in one week."

"Yer lyin' again! That wasn't really a..." She stood up in bed, looking like she was about to have a breakdown. She was trying really hard to not believe what I said. But she knows I'm not the lying type either.

I placed my hoof on her shoulder. "Apple Bloom... It's OK. Yer a big girl now. And even big girls have ta let out their feelin's. It's all right. Let it out. I promise I won't think any less of ya."

She choked. She shook her head as the tears really started pouring. She squinted her eyes shut before letting out a scream and falling into my arms. It broke my heart to see my little sister so hurt, but there was nothing I could do except give her a shoulder to cry on. The last time I ever saw her cry that hard was when she was still in diapers.

I couldn't help crying a bit myself. It hurt to know what had happened, but I couldn't even guess how little Apple Bloom was feeling to have lost a friend. "I know ya liked 'im... He was always good to you fillies..."

I don't know how long it took. She eventually sat down with tears and snot covering her face. While she kept sniffling, I passed her a handkerchief to blow her nose with. But even after that, she still couldn't stop crying. "It's not fair... It's not fair..."

"No... It's not fair. He didn't deserve this..." I sat by her side, holding her against me. I wasn't going anywhere until she was settled in for the night.

"I miss 'im, Applejack... I don't wanna believe he ain't ever comin' home..." She squealed while resting her head against me. "He got Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon ta stop bein' jerks to us... He was the first Cutie Mark Crusader to get his cutie mark... I wanted ta get mine and show 'im so he'd know we could get ours too..."

"And I know ya will someday, sis... When that day comes, you'll tell 'im at his grave, right?" I know it wasn't easy to bring up the part about the grave. I don't even know if he can still see us from...wherever he is now.

I felt her nod. But she then asked me something. "AJ... Could I...sleep with you tonight? I... I really don't wanna be alone right now..."

I couldn't say no to that. I could probably use a little company myself. "Sure thing, sis. Let's go get settled in for the night."

Little Apple Bloom is already out like a light next to me. I know it's going to take a long time before she gets over this. I'm not entirely sure if I'll ever get over it myself... But... James... If you're out there. If you're still watching us... Then... From the bottom of my heart... I'm sorry. I never hated you. I never even disliked you. You were always a friend to me since day 1. I just wish... I wish you knew that in the end... And I wish you knew how much all your other friends are going to miss you... Maybe someday...I'll be able to say that to you in person.

---

I hardly spoke after I got home. And Spike knew something was wrong right after I walked in the door. Everything just felt like one long blur. Was I dreaming? I wish I was. What a gloomy day...

Hours went by. I skipped lunch. It wasn't until around dinnertime that I felt something tap my shoulder. I had lost myself in a book of poetry... What was the name of the author? It was all just to distract me anyway. When I turned to look, I saw him. Spike was holding a tray with a teapot and a cup on it. "I got you some tea, Twilight. I thought some lemon and mint would help."

I sometimes wonder how I would have ever gotten by without him. I gently lifted the tray with magic and poured myself a cup. "Thanks, Spike... I could really use this."

That taste of lemon and mint was really refreshing. I felt so tired, but it helped me feel like I could get through the day. But then... Spike asked a question I had been hoping I could avoid. "Twilight... Are you sure you're OK? You haven't said ten words since you got home this morning."

"You wouldn't understand, Spike..." I was too tired to really talk much at all. Too much crying. But instead of leaving me alone, I felt Spike rest his hand on my hoof when I reached for the next page of my book.

"Twilight... You're kinda scaring me. I know I'm just a kid, but I'll try to understand. I'm here for you, OK?" I could tell he was trying to comfort me the best he could. And I have confided in him numerous times before... Perhaps one more thing to entrust to him would not hurt, although I had no way of knowing if someone as young as him could comprehend loss or death.

"Thanks, Spike... I'm just... I'm just in mourning right now... And I don't know when or if I'll ever get better." I did not want to worry him, but... This ache in my heart... It feels like it will never leave.

Spike continued to constantly look at me with that worrisome expression. He is usually so diligent and happy, but he more than anypony could see something was wrong with me. "Twilight... What happened yesterday? Why couldn't you come home? I know you wrote that something horrible had happened, but... You all came home safely, right?"

"All but one of us... One of us won't ever be coming home now." I finally lost my nerve and lightly slammed my face into the book in front of me. "He's... James is dead, Spike... He's gone and I could've been there for him..."

His reaction was about as much as I expected. I do not believe Spike has ever even attended a funeral. But still, he did show a small degree of sorrow. He frowned and bowed his head. "He... James is...dead...?"

Spike has never been one of James' closest friends. But even so, they always got along well. He looked up at me, almost like he was not sure of how to react. "He's...dead? As in...I'll never see him again?"

I decided to be honest in my words while I looked at him. "You'll have the chance to see him one last time. His funeral will be held here in one week..."

"OK... I'll... I need to go find something..." He ran off pretty quickly. I wonder what he was thinking...

I was so tired that night that I left my journal out without really finishing. I felt so alone when I went to sleep. I think I might have cried myself to sleep again. But I was awoken by a sound. Was Spike having a nightmare? It sounded like he was muffled. I cast a spell to light a candle on my nightstand and looked around. It was very dark, but I could see some movement in Spike's little bed right next to mine.

I climbed out of bed and walked over to him. He was turned away from me and kept groaning while squirming under his blanket. "Spike? What's wrong? Come on, wake up. You don't sound too good."

The strange thing is that he seemed like he was trying to look at me over his shoulder. Was he awake? I used the levitation spell to rotate him until he was looking right at me. But what I saw shocked me. He was indeed awake, but he was covered by some strange dark green...membrane from the jaws down.

"What is this...?!" I tried touching the bizarre substance. It was soft and flexible, almost like latex. But it almost seemed...familiar. Almost like it was...produced by an insect. But...wait...

I froze as I felt a presence behind me. A powerful sense of dread caused my heart to nearly stop as a familiar distorted voice spoke from behind me. "We need to talk."

Before I could even turn, some sort of...force shoved me right off the ledge and hurled me across the room before pinning me to the wall. My legs were held apart, billowing green 'shackles' holding me up. I saw something tall jump down from where I had been standing in the shadows and began to approach me. As it drew near, green flames began to ignite and float in the air. And soon, I saw those big green round eyes gazing at me from several inches away. The Changeling queen.

"You... Why now?! What do you want?!" I was helpless. Spike was being restrained. And if I even tried to get out of her grasp by using the teleportation spell, she would probably intercept me. I could see them somewhere behind her being illuminated by the flames. Several more Changelings gazing at us with their blue insect eyes. They must have jumped Spike in his sleep.

"What do I want? I seem to recall telling you during our last encounter some time ago to take very good care of him." She spoke with a distorted growl to her voice. What is her name again? Chrysalis? "And from what my scouts tell me, he now lies dead in Canterlot. Explain yourself, Twilight Sparkle." The billowing green aura surrounding her crooked horn quivered and glowed more brightly, as if preparing to cast another spell on me if I did not cooperate.

It hurt to have to be reminded... I lowered my head and did not look at her. "Discord... He got free again and..."

Those words seemed to get her attention. She looked at me with a slight look of shock. "Wait... Discord? That lunatic? He was freed again?" I only nodded. Her look of anger seemed to fade just slightly while the aura over her horn appeared to weaken. "Go on..."

If I had to guess, she must have been intimately familiar with Discord's madness. Even so, I proceeded to explain. "James... He came with us to help. We were separated in the castle's labyrinth. One by one, he corrupted four of my friends. He found them, they hurt him, and it... He... He went mad with despair! He left the maze, tricked Discord into removing his immortality and... It was a bloodbath! He butchered Discord! But...he let himself be mortally wounded in the process. I don't know if it was to spite Discord or because he felt he had nothing else to live for once that...'game' ended..."

I was once again in tears. It was agonizing to have to remember that day... But as I hung there, I heard Chrysalis let out a long sigh. "Curse you, Discord... You mad idiot."

I felt my restraints release me just before I fell to the floor in a heap. I looked up at the Changeling queen before me, her predatory eyes gazing down at me in disdain. "Very well. You are off the hook. If that madman was truly involved in this mess, then you surely must have had next to no control over the outcome. Count yourself lucky, Twilight Sparkle."

She sounded like she was too familiar with Discord's madness. "Why are you... How do you know..."

She partially turned away from me. "You cannot tell by looking at me, but I have been around far longer than you can imagine. I have seen much during my reign. I have seen Discord's descent into madness and what that madness wrought. His will was impossible to resist. If he decided to wreck someone's life for laughs, then that person's life would be wrecked. No questions asked."

She then turned to Spike's bed above her on the ledge that our beds rest upon and seemed to cast a spell. From where I was, I saw the sack that covered him ignite in green fire. At first, I nearly panicked. But I breathed a sigh of relief to see Spike sit up completely unharmed and unrestrained. "Well... Seems it's back to the drawing board. Come, my brood. We must depart."

I saw the window behind the desk next to me open while its panes were briefly coated by a green aura. The green flames that floated in the air began to dim. But I still had questions. "Wait! Why?! What did you want with him?! Why was James so important to you?!"

I saw her look directly at me. "What does it matter by this point? He is dead now, so he is of no further use to me."

In flashes of green fire, I saw her minions suddenly transform into...bats? "I highly doubt we will ever cross paths again, Twilight Sparkle. This corner of the world has proven itself to be too troublesome to conquer. We will seek out other regions to suit our needs. Farewell." In a flash of green fire, Chrysalis too became a bat and led her followers out of my home through the open window. And like that, they were gone.

Tears still blurring my vision, I used my own magic to close my window. I heard Spike call down to me from behind. "Twilight, do you think we should tell Princess Celestia about this?! I mean that was the Changeling queen herself! This could be bad!"

I sighed deeply. "No, Spike... I don't think we have to worry about anything. I really don't think we'll be seeing her again..."

I slowly walked back up the steps to my bed, but Spike kept trying to talk to me. Those Changelings must have gave him a good fright. "You're sure? I mean it could be a trick. Maybe she said that to..."

"Spike. Go back to bed. She's not coming back. I know she's not." I really was not in the mood to continue the discussion with these wounds in my heart reopened. But before I got back in bed, I looked Spike over. "Are you OK though? That green fire... Did it hurt you?"

Spike looked himself over too before smiling reassuringly. "Huh? Um... No, I'm fine. I don't think those flames even touched me. Besides, it wouldn't have done anything. Dragons are pretty much fireproof, remember?"

"Oh, right... I forgot that about dragon anatomy... But still...let's just go back to sleep. I'm not in the mood for anything else right now..." I climbed right back in bed and pulled the covers back over me.

"OK... Sweet dreams, Twilight." Spike said briefly before he too curled up in his little bed.

Now I can wrap this journal up properly. It really has been helpful in making me cope with what has been happening. But still... In one week, I will be seeing him one last time... And Chrysalis. What was she... I suppose she was right. It does not matter now. Whatever it was she had planned for us, it was foiled when James died. But...was it worth it?

No... It could never have been worth it. I would rather have faced whatever she had planned with my closest friends by my side than foil her plans by losing one of them forever. Just...how are things going to go from now on? I... I am honestly fearing for the future. What is going to happen to us now?

I cannot keep writing. I need to sleep. My eyes hurt too much...

---

I just don't get it... What's gotten into Rainbow Dash?! Why would she joke about something like that? I saw James this morning and he was just fine then! I know Rainbow Dash likes to joke around with me, but to even make one of those little pamphlets for a funeral? What, did she lose a bet to do something that mean?

At least the rain stopped when I left Sweet Apple Acres to go home. I was so sure we'd get our cutie marks as ventriloquists... Man, it feels like I'll never get my cutie mark at this rate... No! I know I can! I mean my big brother got his only a week after he first met us! If he can do it, so can I!

When I got home... You know. Fluttershy's place. The whole place felt...way too quiet. None of the birds were singing after the rain stopped. I didn't see any of our little furry neighbors running around. Well, maybe they were just staying out of the rain thinking it might start up again. I didn't want to get wet either, so I went inside. It was kinda dark. Did Fluttershy not come home yet?

I flipped on the closest light switch and called out for her. "Fluttershy! James! I'm home!"

I waited a few seconds. Something was weird here. Whenever I call for him, I always hear James' footsteps somewhere in the house. But I didn't hear anything. "Huh? Hey, James! You home?! How was Canterlot?! Everything turn out OK?! Are we gonna get more chocolate milk rain today?!"

Still nothing. Oh well. I went to the kitchen and opened up the fridge. I had put out some buckets to catch some of that weird chocolate milk that was raining yesterday and got a good amount. I stuck a straw in and slurped it up. Yummy! When I had enough, I went upstairs. Maybe they were taking a nap.

"James? Fluttershy? Are you... Huh?" I didn't see James anywhere, but I saw Fluttershy lying on her bed. Looked like she was asleep, but I was getting hungry. I better wake her up to make dinner.

"Fluttershy? I'm kinda hungry. What's for dinner?" I asked her before going around to the other side. "Are you awake? Is James gonna..."

She was awake. But she wasn't moving. All she did was look at me with...really sad eyes. Had she been crying? "Fluttershy...? Are you...OK?"

"Please... Leave me alone... I'm sorry..." She sounded so tired. Like... I don't know. It was kinda scary to see her like that. Fluttershy's really nice and sweet, but really shy too. But... What happened to her?

"Uh... OK, I'll leave you alone. But is James home yet?" She didn't even say anything to that. She just buried her face in her pillow and shivered really hard.

I left Fluttershy alone after that. But I was still hungry, so I made myself a daisy and grass sandwich with honey mustard. I used to live by myself, so I know a bit about making food. I sat on the sofa in the living room while I ate. It was really quiet except for the sound of the rain again. The thunder and lightning flashes didn't bother me. But...I felt really lonely.

I looked over at the corner behind the sofa. James' big wooden sword was leaning up against it. Apple Bloom put a lot of work into making it. I forget what kind of wood she used, but she said it was really strong. I've seen James swing it around a few times. He really likes it. I just wish he was there with me.

While I ate, I felt something land on my head. It was Angela, James' pet dove. "Oh... Hey there, Angela. Have you seen James?"

She hopped down and cooed really sadly while nuzzling me. She looked pretty lonely too. "Yeah, I miss him too... I wish I knew what was keeping him. I wanna go over to Sugarcube Corner for some milkshakes with him tomorrow after school. Wanna come?"

Angela cooed pretty loudly while she tried to preen me. She then hopped on my back and started dragging her beak through my feathers. She does that sometimes. I don't think I really need it, but Angela likes to preen my wings. I smiled at her. She's such a good bird.

I took a shower a little later and got in bed. That's where I'm writing this from. But Fluttershy never moved from her bed. It... I was really worried for her. Would she be OK after a good night sleep? Well, I'm all snuggled and tucked in now. But I'm not going to sleep yet. I wanna wait for James to say goodnight first.

It's kind of...creepy with all this really gloomy weather and he's still not around. I really miss him. I know he's my big brother even though he adopted me, but... I can't believe I'm admitting this, but he's the closest thing to a dad I've ever known. I know I don't show it much and I really try to hide it when I'm outside with him in Ponyville, but I really love him. I don't know what I'd do without him... Hey, maybe I'll show him this when he gets home! He'll probably feel all warm and fuzzy when he reads it.

It's been an hour now. Still no sign of him. Maybe he'll kiss me on the head goodnight. Or maybe he'll tell another bedtime story. Which one though? Is it gonna be about that little pink round guy that swallows things to get crazy awesome abilities and that blue round guy with the mask who has bat wings and swings a sword faster than sound? Or maybe about that story of the guy in blue armor who shoots fire and all sorts of things from his arm and the red guy with long blond hair who uses a sword with a blade of green light? Oh, or that one about the guy who throws a boomerang with his little pink flying cat who's really a baby dragon? Man, I can't imagine Spike looking like a purple cat with wings. He'd probably hate being that cute.

It's almost midnight... But I still don't hear him. I'm so tired though... James, where are you? Come home, big brother. I wanna see you before I go to sleep. Just a little longer...

---

Wakey wakey... Time to get up. Its time to bake some yummy goodies. Ugh, I felt so awful... Like I was a sack of gravel. Heh, rock jokes. I haven't used one of those in a long time. Usually Maud is the one to make those.

What was wrong with me this morning? I just couldn't get my mane and tail to look right. Wait... I know why. I just wish it didn't happen... Why did it happen... I don't even remember anymore... Wait... I do remember. But I wish I could forget.

I went downstairs into Sugarcube Corner's storefront and bumped into Mr. Cake at the counter. He looked at me and tried to smile, but I think he stopped himself. "Hm? Oh, good morning, Pinkie. You feeling all right this morning?"

I told him everything that happened while me and my friends were away in Canterlot yesterday and the day before that. Only...there's one friend missing in my circle of super special friends... "Good morning, Mr. Cake. Um... I think I'm feeling...a little better than yesterday?"

He looked me over for a few seconds. I guess he could see I wasn't looking myself. "Are you sure you're OK? If you want, you can take the day off. I know you're probably still...upset."

Figures. But I had to do something to make myself feel better and working in Sugarcube Corner puts a smile on my face. "No, it's OK. I can work today. I'll just go and punch in now. Is Mrs. Cake here?"

"All right, if you're sure about that. And yes, she's in the back checking inventory. You go ahead and punch in. I've got a list of things that need to be whipped up for the day. If you need help, just let us know." He said before looking back under the front counter. I just went into the kitchen to get started.

Things went by OK at first. I made some cupcakes and muffins, even if I was kinda slow about it. "Three eggs, one teaspoon of vanilla... What else?" I kept almost getting my mane in the batter. I wish it would stop hanging so low, but I can't do a thing about it.

I made a couple dozen trays of cupcakes. And then it was time for the chocolate drops. But after I baked the little round dough circles and topped one with a layer of chocolate... When did we even start making chocolate drops? Oh, right. The recipe came from where James... He's the one who...

I don't know what happened next. I just can't remember. I can remember everything getting blurry and I heard a scream or wail. I think it came from me? When everything started to clear up, my face was wet. Those little dough circles were everywhere on the floor. My head hurt and my throat was sore. And Mrs. Cake was wiping me down with a little broom. I think I spilled some flour on me.

"Easy there, dearie. Are you OK now? No more crying?" She whispered to me quietly. I always loved her like a second mom. And she and Mr. Cake always look out for me.

I looked at the unfinished chocolate drops around me. They remind me of... I almost lost it again, but Mrs. Cake touched my shoulder while looking at me with that concerned motherly gaze of hers. "The drops... They... He... I can't..." I couldn't even talk. I... I just miss him so much...

Mrs. Cake shook her head and helped me stand up. "I know, Pinkie. I'm going to miss him too. He introduced some recipes that have become very popular since we started selling them. So soft-spoken and diligent with his work... But... I'm sorry, but I think you should take a few days off. You're really in no condition to be working back here, dearie."

I guess she was right. My head... So many thoughts and emotions. I felt so hurt, angry, sad, guilty... "OK, Mrs. Cake... I'll just...go back upstairs... Sorry..."

I punched out and went back up to the loft. It was looking pretty sunny outside. It...really didn't feel right. We had been getting a lot of rain lately. Why wasn't it still raining?

It was so quiet up in my place. Maybe I would just go back to bed. But when I walked by my mirror... I saw myself. My coat was so dark. My mane and tail were smooth and straight. But it wasn't my eyes playing tricks on me. It was how I really looked. My eyes... They didn't have all that peppy energy they always do. It was like a part of me died inside...

"Why did this happen...?" I asked my reflection. I didn't expect an answer. But I got one anyway.

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe you should ask yourself." My reflection said back to me. At first, I thought I was the one who talked. But it wasn't me. It was her...again.

I wasn't going to listen to her, so I pulled a curtain over it. But I could still hear her. "Hey, I know you're still out there! And I know what you were thinking! You felt really good when you saw him lying dead there. It felt awesome to know you did something that killed him. Way to go, killer."

It was all a lie... I knew who she was. She is my doubt. Whenever I feel like I did something wrong. I mean really wrong... She stopped talking after that, but... She's right. I did kill him. Maybe not directly, but... Wait...

Hang on. It's coming back to me now. I know what happened. I Pinkie Promised... And nopony... NOPONY breaks a Pinkie Promise! Especially not Pinkie Pie! And we Pinkie Promised that we wouldn't let Discord get to us again! So everything I heard and saw... It was all just an illusion! Something to mess with us!

I feel my mane and tail. They're not being dragged down anymore. Nice and poofy! So yeah. We didn't break that promise because we COULDN'T break it! Cross our hearts, hope to die, stick a cupcake in our eyes. That means...James is OK! And let's see... Today's a Monday. That means James should be coming into work in a little while. Well, now that I'm feeling better, I can get back to work. I'll just stop here for now and finish this up when my shift ends. Oh, and I better feed Gummy before I head downstairs.

Well, everything went by OK today. Lots of sales, but the weird thing is James never showed up for work. I don't think he's ever had a sick day before. But I guess there's a first time for everything. And whenever I asked if something was up with him, Mr. and Mrs. Cake kept giving me the weirdest looks.

I just wonder what was keeping him. I mean he's showed up late, but he never missed a day. And I haven't seen any of my other closest friends all day either. I wonder where they are. I can't remember the last time I went through a whole day without seeing them. I'll just have to fix that tomorrow! I'll swing by the spa and say hi to James there and take a nice long soak in the hot tub. Maybe I'll even see Rarity and Fluttershy there for their weekly spa visit.

Huh? What's this feeling? I feel... My mane and tail are drooping... No, that's a lie! That was all just a trick! Keep smiling, Pinkie! You know you would never break a Pinkie Promise! Everything's OK. We stopped Discord again and we all came home. Everything's fine! Just fine...

I really hate days where I don't get to see my best friends. Now I feel just a little bit gloomy. Huh? Wait a minute. I got mail today. Almost forgot to open it. Let's see... In loving memory? You are invited... Well, this is weird! Somepony's playing a prank on me! James' funeral? I don't know what that's all about, but I guess I'll go. Next Sunday? Hmm... I bet this is the Cutie Mark Crusaders doing something new. Maybe they asked James to help them see if their special talents are being undertakers?

Well, since they're trying so hard, I guess I'll go just to be a good sport! Now, time to get Gummy some dinner. He keeps chomping on my tail, so he must be really hungry.

---

It's been two days since Rarity came home and... I... I just don't know what to feel. I know she would never lie to me about anything like that, but... James? He's dead? How can that be? I just don't see how...

Today felt so...empty. I woke up on the sofa like usual, but...the place felt lifeless. Just a dreadful atmosphere. Was Rarity even awake at the time? I looked out the window. A bit cloudy. And the air pressure... I could feel that it was going to rain. I went into the kitchen, but... I felt no hunger. I did not feel the urge to cry and I probably should've eaten something. But...what was this feeling?

I felt the need to go outside for a while. I know Rarity would be fine without me for a while. I wandered through town as a light drizzle started to come down. I just wandered aimlessly. I came to the western edge of Ponyville. And soon, I was gazing at it. The Everfree Forest. My former home...and prison.

I could feel my eyes starting to moisten. For so long... Centuries. Maybe even a full millennium. I had been confined to Sunny Town along with the murderers who pummeled Ruby to death. And I know for certain they are still out there. Probably still blissfully unaware of their sin.

"Are you OK, Mitta?" I heard a child's voice speak from next to me. When I looked, I found Ruby herself looking up at me. Still the same little ghost child I've known since the day after her murder. And the only friend I ever knew until...he came.

"I... I don't know, Ruby." I said quietly. I had been filled with sorrow for so long over the centuries before I finally started to age again. Had my mind just become...accustomed to sadness and loss? I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel as bad as Rarity does right now. But I just couldn't.

Ruby tenderly nuzzled me, her head resting on my shoulder while I draped my head over her. "I heard... And I feel it. He's not in this world anymore, is he?"

I guess I should've known. Being a ghost, Ruby is more attuned to supernatural forces than those among the living. And surely she too must've known something had happened. "Then...he's really gone?"

My old friend looked up at me with her glowing yellow eyes. She frowned, showing far more maturity and understanding of the situation than any child ever could. "Yesterday... I hid on a train that was going to Canterlot. I wanted to see what happened. And... Canterlot a really pretty place. Lots of fancy things you don't see down here. But...I looked around. And...I found the place, Mitta. It was a mess. Like maybe a hydra got into a fight with a dragon."

Some sort of battle happened? And it involved someone called Discord, from what I was told. "I didn't see anyone out there. But...I felt it. It was still lingering. His spirit had been there before. Someone... Well, more than one person was there. They must've moved on though because I didn't feel them anywhere. But I... I think I felt one of them. It felt broken... Like it didn't have any hope left. I think that presence was James. I... I don't even know what happened to him, but... He's not in this world anymore, Mitta. I just hope wherever he is, he's happy..."

So it's like Rarity said. Gone... I nodded and gently nuzzled my little friend. "Thank you, Ruby. Um... May I ask for some privacy? I need a minute."

"OK, Mitta. I'll go let Rarity know you're out here." And off she went. I was alone once more.

I looked back at the Everfree Forest ahead of me. I never want to ever set foot in there again. But as I gazed at it, I remembered. For so long, I was trapped in there. And every night, I would see the curse take hold of me and everypony else in Sunny Town. A reminder of the consequences of my choice.

After the first century, I had resigned myself to my fate. No one ever came to the village. There was no hope of ever being freed of the curse as long as the others refused to recognize what they did as evil. And then, after who knows how long, I saw him. The first human visitor in centuries. Before the curse was cast, I heard that the humans of this world had vanished. But there he was, standing tall above me. I warned him of what was going to happen at nightfall. And he only barely got out of there in time just as the curse took hold. And when he saw my rotten undead form, he was understandably startled. But he then did something I never expected anyone to.

He held me. Embraced me. I had forgotten what it's like to receive compassion. And that human saw past my undead form for who I really am. My first friend in...over a thousand years. He left as I warned him to never return. I was alone again with only Ruby to provide me occasional company. And it remained that way for months. But then the day came where my newest friend did something I couldn't have seen coming. He returned.

The armor he wore was beautiful. A dark blue with pure white wings, I almost thought he was an angel from the heavens. And he might as well have been. Because that night, he rescued me from my prison. He came back not to visit, but to save me. And he did. In a spectacular display of divine justice, he destroyed every last cursed murderer in that hellish village and led me through and out of the Everfree Forest. I felt so scared when I stood before the princesses in Canterlot. Especially when she showed herself. The one who cursed me in the first place. Princess Luna.

But she was not the one to release me. It was her other half. Nightmare Moon. But I was still frightened of what may occur. James held onto me. He was there for me as the curse was removed. And that night... I felt myself truly breathe for the first time in ages. I was free. And my savior is... Was...

It was only then that I felt the tears come. Only after reminding myself of everything that had happened did my heart finally feel it. I fell to my knees. My vision was a blur. I buried my face in my arms as it finally registered with me what I had lost. He was gone... My friend and rescuer. He gave me so much, even if he felt he did little. I finally have a true home with wonderful friends. I know I'll probably never find my so-called 'cutie mark', but that doesn't matter to me. I'm free. I have people in my life who care for me. And the one who probably cared most is...

Even now as I write this, I still don't feel like I'm feeling the full force of the shock. My memories are one thing, but I guess... Some ponies have to see it to feel the full weight of the horror. But it still doesn't feel right. It feels like a part of me wants to scream, but is being gagged. I will have to wait until this Sunday. When I can finally say goodbye...

---

Man, what a night... My head hurt when I woke up in the morning. How much did I drink last night? I had one hay of a hangover when I woke up. But why did I drink so much last... Oh... Right.

It only took me one look in the mirror to be reminded. My eyes were bloodshot and my cheeks stained from tears. I cried myself to sleep again last night. Just like the previous night. And the night before...

I felt too tired to cry, but I felt too awake to go back to bed. Just... Darn it! Why'd this have to happen?! I loved you, you idiot! Why'd you have to pick Fluttershy?! If you stuck with me, I would've always been there for you! Why didn't you ask me to be your mare... No... We were the idiots... We didn't keep our promise and...

...I just can't let it go. I needed to get outta there. Get some fresh air. So I went out for a little flight. But my head was hurting too much to really see straight. What did Twilight say that one time? The best way to prevent a hangover is... To stay hydrated or something?

Well, I got to Ponyville no problem. But when I was passing by Rarity's place, I noticed something down there on the tree outside her house. I stopped and flew by again and saw it one more time. When the sun hit it just right, something would shine.

I flew down there and took a closer look. It was...a bracelet hanging by a little branch. And didn't I see that somewhere before? It was all silver with a line of opals around... Wait a second. Wasn't that the bracelet James got Rarity way back when? Why was it outside? A really good way to get it tarnished.

I decided to give it back to Rarity, so I grabbed it and hung it on my wing before landing outside her door. Something really weird must've happened for it to be out there. So I rang the doorbell and waited. Didn't take long to get a response. The door creaked open and there Rarity was. But her mane looked a bit frazzled. That's how you know she's stressed out.

"Oh... Good morning, Rainbow Dash. Can I help you?" Looked like she had been crying too. So I walked inside while she let me in.

"Uh... Not really. I'm just dropping something off. I found this hanging outside your place." I said while I extended my wing to show the bracelet. "This is yours, right?"

The weird thing is she cringed as soon as she saw it. "No... Please, get that away from me... I don't deserve it."

"Don't deserve... What're you talking about? He got this for you outta the kindness of his heart, right? Doesn't that mean it's important to you?" I've never known Rarity to turn down any jewelry, especially from a guy she totally has the hots for.

She started crying right away. "You know what I did! I hurt him just as much as Fluttershy did, if not more! I never even took into consideration the bracelet around my ankle! He gave me his love and I threw him away! I don't deserve such a precious gift!"

Always has to be dramatic... Well, that didn't sit well with me. I reached out and slapped her across the face with my wing. Didn't hit too hard since it was all feathers, but it got her to shut up. "Rarity... It isn't like me to get sentimental about stuff, but... Listen, all right?"

All she did was nod. She was shaken up, but she was listening. I don't blame her for being so hurt. I know I am too, but I'm just hiding it better. I can totally see her and James making a really nice couple. They would've had some gorgeous kids too. "Don't say you don't deserve this, all right? You loved the guy, right? And I know you were precious to him too. Hay, I know if you two got together, you'd probably ride him every night like a bull!"

I know she wanted to say something to that last line, but she was too upset to really say anything. So I went on. "Rarity... I know you hurt him. But let's all be honest here. That wasn't really you. Discord... He made you do that. Under all that he did to make you act like...whatever you were, you still loved James. And you're still the mare he loved. The mare he got this for, right?" I then held out the bracelet out to her. "So... You should keep this. He'd want you to have this anyway, right?"

It took a few seconds, but she grabbed the thing with her levitation magic and looked at it a bit more closely. "He... You're right... He would want me to keep this..."

She unclipped the thing to let it open and then closed the bracelet over her right ankle. "I just could not see through my guilt... Thank you for returning this to me, Rainbow Dash... I will never part with it again."

"Hey, no problem... Now... Sorry to cut this visit short, but I need to get going. I gotta head over to Twilight's place to find a cure for this hangover." I then started to head out the door, but Rarity caught up to me.

"Hangover?! How'd you get that? You're not one to drink, Rainbow!" No wonder she was so surprised. I get clumsy with my flying when I'm drunk.

Well, I looked back at her while rubbing my head. I'm telling you, hangovers suck. "Well, how else am I gonna loosen myself up enough to cry without caring about my reputation?"

Darn it, my head hurts... I better stop here. I think I'll just cry myself to sleep again tonight... Just... Why, James...? If you dumped her and went with me instead, we'd be living the good life right now...

---

I don't know what to do anymore... It's been a week... And tomorrow is the day... Every day, it feels the same. I have no energy... I almost never go outside except to feed my little friends. But even then... It always feels like a struggle. But at least they understand. All my little friends really miss him... James... I wish you were still here.

I still remember it like it happened yesterday... I tried so hard to resist Discord. I really did... I could've tried harder. I could've held onto myself. But I didn't. I told James to hurt himself... Why did I do that? Why did I feel so...satisfied when he punched himself in the face? And I... I kicked him in the face... I'm a horrible girlfriend.... I'm a monster... And now he's dead...all because of me...

I never talk to anypony anymore. Even Scootaloo. I know she lives in my house and she's probably my responsibility, but... I have no drive anymore... I wish I had more of a will to do something. But...I see him in my dreams every night... I can't forget. I can't let go. I killed my boyfriend... I'm a monster... I shouldn't let myself rub off on a child...

I've been feeling so sick... Maybe I'm malnourished. I know I probably deserve it, but... It still doesn't feel good. I would've just stayed home in bed if Angel hadn't come to me in the bathroom after I... Well...threw up.

"But... I know it might be serious, but I... All right, I guess I should. I'll go to the hospital and see if they can find anything wrong. Please watch the place while I'm gone, Angel." He was really worried. He tries to be strict with me to make sure I do what needs to be done. If it weren't for him, I probably would've lost all our little friends because I probably would've stopped feeding them.

I felt so sluggish while I walked through town. I didn't even notice anypony around me. Like something was pulling me along on a string and I was just following. But somewhere along the way, I thought I heard something. It wasn't until somepony touched my shoulder that I noticed who was right next to me. "Fluttershy? I haven't seen ya all week. Y'all doin' all right?"

It was Applejack. It looked like her black eye had healed nicely. And she was looking very worried. I looked at her and tried to smile, but couldn't. "Hello, Applejack... I'm... I don't know..."

"Girl... You look awful. Where are ya headin'? If ya want, I can give ya a lift. I got enough free time." I'm glad she was being so supportive. Applejack has always been so dependable. I don't know what we would do without her.

"I... Well... All right. I need to get to the hospital. I haven't been feeling...well?!" just as I was about to finish what I was saying, Applejack slipped under me and lifted me onto her back.

"Say no more, Fluttershy. I'll getcha there in a jiffy." And we were off. She ran through town while I held on tight. "Ya know, I reckon y'all just aren't feelin' yerself because ya haven't been eatin' right. I know yer depressed. Hay, we all are. But ya still gotta take care of yourself."

"I'll try..." She was right. I've hardly eaten anything since coming home. I know I should, but...I never feel hungry anymore. I'm just too sad to want to eat all the time...

With Applejack carrying me, it didn't take long for us to reach Ponyville Hospital. She set me down on one of the cushions just inside the door and went over to the receptionist's desk. "Howdy, nurse. Fluttershy here's not feelin' too well. Ya got room for an unscheduled checkup?"

I could tell she was trying to put on a friendly face to avoid making the situation awkward. But...I could still see it. She was not happy either. The nurse seemed to look through something before looking back at Applejack and me. "Well... Yes, it seems we have a spot open right now." I think she pressed a button or something out of sight. "Nurse Redheart to the lobby. You have a surprise patient."

Nurse Redheart is the doctor I always see whenever I have a checkup. Applejack then took a seat next to me on another cushion. "Ya want me ta stay until yer done? I've still got some time."

"I'd appreciate that..." I really didn't feel like talking much... Fortunately, Nurse Redheart came out into the lobby before I had to say much of anything else.

"Miss Fluttershy? You needed to see me?" She must've noticed there was something wrong with me right away. Then again, I wasn't really trying to hide my depression.

Applejack spoke for me. "She is, doc. Fluttershy's feelin' mighty outta things. She might have something bad."

"All right. Please come with me and we'll get startle." I stood up and followed after the nurse while Applejack stayed behind. I was hoping that whatever was wrong with me would be easy to fix. Maybe just the early stages of the flu or something...

Once I was in the office, Nurse Redheart gave me a thermometer to check my temperature. "So... How have you been, Fluttershy?"

"I don't know... Just...depressed. Empty..." It wasn't hard talking with a thermometer in my mouth. And I was just being honest...

She knew what was wrong. I know because I'm sure she was given an invitation to...his funeral tomorrow. "I know... You had a real sweetheart of a boyfriend, Fluttershy. I'm terribly sorry for everything you've gone through..." She then took the thermometer away and checked it. "Well, your temperature is normal. What kind of symptoms have you been experiencing lately?"

I had to stop a minute to think. "Um... Some occasional queasiness... Loss of appetite... Lack of energy... And sometimes vomiting..."

"Hmm... Well, those could point to a number of things. I think you may be malnourished due to your loss of appetite, but that's normal for those suffering from depression." She looked through something on a clipboard for a moment before looking back at me. "I'll just run a few tests to see what I can find."

Um... I don't know how to describe all the stuff she did. Some of it is kind of embarrassing. I know about how to patch up injuries and know how to find out what someone is sick with if it isn't too complicated, but I'm not a certified nurse. But after leaving the room for a while, Nurse Redheart came back. And I knew by that forlorn look in her eyes that she had some bad news. "Um... Is it bad?"

She sighed before looking over the papers attached to her clipboard. "Well... I have some good and bad news. The good news is that... Well, it seems your physical health is mostly normal. It seems you are dehydrated and lacking in some nutrition though. I advise increasing your food and water intake to fix that."

"Oh... Well, I'll try to eat at least two meals a day to help with that. And the bad news?" I couldn't even guess what it could be. My life was already hard enough by that point. Living with the knowledge that I...basically murdered the love of my life... What could be worse than that?

Nurse Redheart hesitated. I was a bit scared then. Did I have cancer? Finally, she looked at me and frowned. "Well... I would say congratulations, but...I suppose this isn't a good time to say that."

Congratulations? On what? I tried to think over what that could mean... Wait... Isn't that something most ponies say when... No... No, it couldn't be... "Wait... You don't mean...?!"

She silently passed me the clipboard. I looked through the list of things it said. One of the tests she had me take was...a pregnancy test. And...it was positive. I almost fainted. I nearly fell off the table. My heat cycle started up again just a few days before Discord... No... Not now... If things were different, then maybe... But...not now... Not without him...!

I felt the nurse place her hoof on my shoulder. I could hardly see her. The tears were coming again. "I'm sorry... I know you and James had been considering starting a family in a few years. I'm... I wish there was something I could say."

Everything after that felt like a blur. I don't know what happened next in the hospital. I don't know what happened with Applejack. The entire day felt like it didn't even happen. Even as I lie here in bed, I'm still not sure if everything that happened today even happened... But...I know it happened. I know what Nurse Redheart showed me. I know that...in my belly...his child is growing.

I placed my hoof on my belly. I couldn't feel anything different. But I knew. I know it's in there. My... Our foal. But now...he'll never know. I always thought that because our genes are so different, the chances of conception would always be low... I've already gone into heat twice before and nothing happened from it. And we could never use contraception because...Equestria doesn't make any for humans.

I don't know what to do... We both wanted a child someday... And now it's happening. But...Daddy isn't here anymore. Our child will never know its father. And Mommy was the one who...broke his heart and...killed him...

James... I can't do this without you... I'm not ready... If you were here, I'm sure we could make this work... But... What have I done...?! You're gone and it's all my fault! I love you... I love you so much, I can't describe it... I should've never written that love letter so long ago! I should've known better than to think I was right for you... I should've kept my distance...watching you from afar... Never letting you know how much you drew me to you with your genuine sweetness and gentle touch... I thought you... I thought you were the only man I could give my heart to...and you were. But I...smashed your heart and...

I can't forgive myself... I'll never be able to forgive myself now... James, you're going to be a daddy... And our baby will never know what a wonderful man you were... And it's all my fault...

It's going to be a long time before that day comes. I still have eleven months. But... What am I going to do? How will I tell the others? What... I... James... Please, come back... I love you... Please forgive me.... I want you home... I want you to be there when the baby comes... Please... Please, come home...

---

Wrath consumes me. Day after day, nothing changes. I remain confined to this chamber in the tallest tower in the palace. The guards outside the doors never speak with me. If nothing else, they fear me. As they should.

I still have not forgotten. The six bearers... Traitors, all of them! I witnessed them make that solemn promise. They knew what they were up against and they knew what they had to do. He was oblivious to the danger and nothing we could have said could have prepared him for what to expect. They knew this too and vowed to keep him safe from both Discord and themselves. And they failed. And the cost? His life!

Discord may be gone forever, but the wrath remains with me. Every waking moment, I feel nothing but bitterness. They know not what they had robbed of me. That man... The first to ever see me as a mare and not a monster. The only man to ever hold my heart... My love, why did this happen? How could they fail you like this?! They were your dearest friends and they threw you away! You may have ended Discord's reign of anarchy forever, but the cost was still too great!

How long has it been since I awoke to find myself confined to this chamber? A week? A barrier still stands. I cannot escape. Even teleportation does not bypass it. My sisters... They must have known the grudge I hold once I heard what had become of my beloved. And from the traitors themselves, no less. If only this barrier was not here, I would hunt each of them down.

The guards... Where were they? There are always two stations just outside the door. I heard someone coming. And then I saw her. Celestia.

"Are you well, Nightmare Moon?" She asked solemnly, all too aware of my heartache and rage.

I answered her the same I always do. "Are you here to release me or to lecture me once more?"

She paused. Her eyes looked away momentarily before she replied. "I am here to inform that the funeral begins soon. His body has been prepared and we are ready to depart. And...I would be honored if you could attend as well."

For the sake of being fair, I spoke in return. "Will the six of them be attending as well?"

"Of course. He was...dear to them, so they will naturally attend." She seemed to know why I was asking. That look in her eyes showed a silent fear.

I growled as I spoke from within the shadows of the dimly lit chamber. "Then you would be wise to keep me confined here, or I will slaughter them on sight and mount their heads on a pike."

For once, she did not answer. And yet, she did not depart. It took some time, but she finally spoke. "Sister... I know he was precious to you. And, given different circumstances, if you and he had become an item, you would have my eternal blessings. But please... As your sister, I implore you. Hold onto your sorrow if you desire, but let go of your rage. It..."

How dare she... Did she truly know nothing of loss? Could she even comprehend the agony I was in? I bombarded the unseen barrier before the open door with magic lightning, but to no avail. "Silence! What do you know of rage or loss?! He was my guiding light! The path that led me out of the shadows! Without him, I am forever lost! You cannot comprehend what I have lost! And all because of them!"

I was then suddenly silenced when my sister snarled at me, a wave of flame being unleashed against the barrier between us. She was prepared to cast another. There was something she wanted to say and I felt compelled to listen. "Nightmare Moon. You are correct. I do not know loss and wrath like you do. And yet...I envy you."

Those words... She? The Princess of the Dawn, envious of me? "Explain yourself... What could you, the one who has everything, possibly envy me for?"

Tears beginning to cascade down her face, she spoke softly, yet sternly. "I have seen the two of you bond. And truly, the two of you were fine friends. But during the brief times I was with him, I felt something...new. I saw within him...a kindred spirit. And I see why. He was the sun to your moon. Your, as you said, guiding light. And I saw myself within him. I often asked myself why I waited until just recently to finally get to know him while you and our sister bonded quickly and spent much time with him."

A quiet sob escaped her lips. I always thought that Celestia had always been...distant to him. But in recent weeks, we spent a fair amount of time with him. How I miss those days... And the two of them showed such great chemistry. So much in common. Indeed, he was much closer to the light than the dark. Just like her. And she finally spoke once more. "Only now I will never know how close we could have become. You knew his friendship and love while I only got a taste of it. I miss him too, sister. You should know that. But that is not all I wanted to say to you."

It was so conflicting... I felt both concern and anger as I listened to her. But there was still much she wanted to say, so I listened. "I know why it is you can't let go of your anger. It is a means to cope with your pain. If you have someone to blame, someone to seek vengeance on, it becomes more bearable. And in your eyes, they were to blame. And in a way, your views are correct. They did indeed fail to fulfill their promise. But you must never forget, sister. The true puppet master who orchestrated his demise. The six bearers are not to blame, Nightmare Moon. The guilty party is Discord. And I know that it is difficult to direct your anger and hatred toward one who is no longer alive to harm."

...She... I did not want to admit it, but... Celestia was right. Discord... He was once again the source of great turmoil. And now his actions have forever robbed us of something precious. "We were fools to believe that there was any hope of salvation for his shattered soul. Despair and loss had twisted him into a demon obsessed with chaos to drown his sorrow. Perhaps... Perhaps in James, he saw a way out. A way to end his misery where we could not. Discord was set free, Nightmare Moon. And he will never return. If you must, cling to your sorrow. But let go of your wrath knowing that he who has wronged us is no more and died horribly for his sins."

It was true. I have seen the aftermath of the hellish battle. Whatever it was that occurred, my beloved must have surely given that monster hell... Even if it meant becoming a monster himself... Discord, you monster... You... I will never forgive you for what you have done... If you were still alive, I would destroy myself.

I could not contain myself. I felt my wrath leaving me. My tears flowed as my sister tearfully spoke to me. "Do not hate them for a failure they could not prevent. They are suffering greatly at this moment as well, sister. Their pain is your pain and their loss is your loss."

I saw the barrier fade. My sister rushed to my side and held me as I wailed. With the anger gone, only despair remained. My love... I know not what I will do now that your guiding light has faded... Wait for me... I will be seeing you one final time... What happens then... I cannot say. Without you, I am lost...