Equivalence: Chapter 2
The first week of my stay was pretty boring, and honestly not much different than the orphanage. Aside from having a small 12 by 14 room to myself, it was all almost indistinguishable. I still ate in an over-crowded cafeteria, the outside courts where still fenced in, though here there was hotwire at the top, and the handlers cared for you in such a way that they only wanted to keep you from causing harm to yourself or others..
Against the advice of Mrs. Weatherholt and Mr. Taylor, I had decided to climb to the top of the facilities roof using a nearby Oak so I could see the city that was a few miles away. It wasn't even really the city I was looking at really, rather through it and seeing the life I had for a short while before I went and screwed it up. It wasn't really all my fault though, but saying it was just made it easier to get away.
My parents no longer lived here anyway. They moved out almost two months after I ran away for the last time. Apparently I was the only thing holding them back. At first, law enforcement officers of various kinds kept bringing me back to them, but I ran away again the instant I could. Each time I was brought back I wasn't even punished. They simply just did not care about me. They only did as law required of them, such as feeding me and providing me with a home, but nothing more.
Eventually the courts decided that if I did not want to go home with them, that I was to be placed in an orphanage. My parents agreed and released the custody of me into the governments hands. From there everything started going further downhill. Through it all though I never told anyone the real reason I did not want to go back, and to this day that secret remains only known to me.
The spring months brought with it a sense of dampness that wrecked havoc on anyone with a long coat even on the sunniest days. It almost always rained early in the morning for the last week right as the sun was raising, so all day it would just evaporate the water in the ground as the temperature soared back up into the high 80's and low 90's.
"Mr. Xiaxel, you need to come down from there immediately!" yelled Mrs. Weatherholt from the ground. She and Mr. Taylor had been trying to get me to come down by coercion alone for the last 15 minutes. I wasn't trying to be rude by ignoring their commands, and I knew that if I did not listen I would be in trouble later. I just wanted time by myself however, and I felt comforted by being on the roof. It was far less confining than my room and much more scenic.
However their constant yelling of my name was making it difficult to further analyze what my life had become, so I stood and walked over to the ledge where I saw the Mr. Taylor with a ladder and her with a clipboard looking stoic. They both looked up at me as my shadow cast itself on the ground from the sun behind, and Mr. Taylor leaned the ladder against the building in front of me. Mrs. Weatherholt simply tucked her clipboard under her arm, and put her other paw on her hip.
"Mr. Xiaxel, climbing in the facility in strictly prohibited and you have been warned twice before this to stop. Failure to adhere..." before she could finish I simply jumped off of the 15 foot roof and landed on all 4 paws like an unevolved wolf. Mr.Taylor and Mrs. Weatherholt looked flabbergasted at the act, and I did it just for that reason. Hell I did it because I found nothing wrong with acting primal every-now and than. Most morphs bodies were still designed like the unevolved versions of themselves, and we could do and act mostly like they do. The only true difference was that our torso and upper legs had been designed to look more homo-sapien and allow us to walk upright. Other than that the bones in our paws, wrists, ankles, and everything else was the same and had the same tolerances and movement as our unevolved selves, though walking on all fours was cumbersome due to our Human-like legs.
Even though the Human sub-species had mostly gone extinct 500 years ago, we as a culture still upheld their beliefs and that we should conform to their social standards, which might have been due to the few thousand or so that still existed. This meant what I just did looked downright barbaric, and the evidence of such as plastered on both of their faces as I sat and panted with my head slightly tilted to the side.
My handlers turned around in disbelief, they knew that punishing me would be useless. I had been getting worse since my fourth day here. I had been going down hill since being put in the orphanage, but being here was like someone turned a slow gentle slops into a steep snow covered mountain that was prone to avalanches. However I did hold myself just enough to be able to participate on the group walk tomorrow around town.
The institute gave us a sort of allowance for good behavior and completing assigned work, and I had no problem burning time doing chores anyway. It allowed me to think more clearly about my past, the present, and what could be my future. I know that I did not want a high paying job with a fancy car and huge house. I knew I would not last long in a job that required that I had to behave all the time. I want something simple, easy, and repetitive. I knew in the back of my head I was going to end up alone so I only needed enough money to take care of myself, and I was OK with this. Sure I could end up with one to two friends here and there and maybe spend time with them every once in a while, but I was not going to have a love life or someone always by my side.
As my handlers left whispering to each other, I got up and brushed the concrete grit and dirt off my pants and turned around to see who was looking. Other than a single bi-colored eyed Shepherd-Husky mix who was watching me from a distance, everyone else seemed to have gone back to their own business. I shrugged my shoulders more or less for him to show I didn't care and turned around again and pushed my way through the cheap aluminum double doors.
The hallways that led to everywhere in the building looked like your typical gray painted cinder blocks with the white-blacked specked floor that had to odd bumpy anti-slip surface on it. The roof was of course those large ceiling tiles held up by plastic bars that ran across the roof equipped with overly-bright florescent lighting.
I made my way to my room only passing a few other morphs along the way, none of which batted an eyes at me. Everyone for the most part minded their own business, and since our culture was more Victorian in a way, those who did not want to be greeted were often left alone. We had a good sense to know when it was alright to bother another fur, like some sort of internal instinct that remained with our animistic side.
I came to my room and found a letter folded and stuck in-between it and the steel frame. I grabbed my key from one pocket and unlocked the door while grabbing the letter in the other. It was clearly printed here as there was no envelope and tri-folded in such a way that dictated that whoever did it was in a hurry and more than likely had several dozen of these to print, fold, and deliver.
I closed the door gently behind me as I padded into the room and placed the letter on the foot of my unruly bed, which to this day since being here I have yet to fold once. Tomorrow was suppose to be laundry day where we take anything we want washed to somewhere in the middle of the building and do it ourselves. Though I had no desire to do my own clothes, the bed was full of fur from my coat and my clothes were properly dirty. I sighed to myself knowing that for an hour and something my life was going to be confined in a small room with at least 10 other furs having nothing to say to any of them, and much less wanting any of them to say something to me.
I stripped off my plain gray cotton shirt which had been my last shirt for the past two days and was at this point full of fur on the inside. I tossed it into the corner by my door which I had designated the dirty clothes hamper from day one of being here even though that had supplied us with one of those standard blue baskets, which I had found a new use for as a chew toy. It was a bad habit and it was frowned upon that any adult should need a chew toy, but it helped calm me down and allowed me to think. However the cheap plastic that the thing was made out of would not last for long at this point as I had already substantially deformed it quite a bit, enough so that I could slide it under the bed to hide it.
I unfastened my belt, coiled it up, and placed it on the desk where most things ended up, and undid my pants. I really wasn't a fan of these brown jeans that they had supplied me a pair of, they were very roughly put together and even with fur you could feel the fabric catching like rough sandpaper. Most of it summed up to be my junk never being comfortable even with underwear. I was more than thrilled to slide them off my legs and toss them onto the pile, and my fur puffed up due to the static that was created in the process.
Now all that was left was just me and these boxers. I hadn't realized just how horny I was until now. I grinned in that sly sexy way all male must when the idea of playing with ones self pops into mind, and I could feel my upper lip come up just enough to expose the tips of both of my upper canines. I hooked my right thumb claw around the waistband right above my sheath, and I could already feel it swelling. I slowly pulled it away just enough so I could peak inside and I was rewarded with the tip of my dick sticking out with both the head and the shaft slightly engorged. I could see the tiny bulb inside my sheath where my knot was begging for release so that it could be free to gain its full size.
Just as I touched the tip of my sheath to slid it down and free my growing flesh, a heavy knock at my door interrupted my advances. I gave the door a heavy glare as I was hoping it was just someone playing tricks on me and that there would not be another knock. Sadly I was disappointed when another and this time louder knock hit the door. Thoroughly pissed but glad whoever it was knocking came when they did, once a knot is out and formed you pretty much have to finish the job cause it does not going anywhere fast if you don't.
"Just a damn minute" I yelled out in the calmest voice I could muster dispite me having to be interrupted. Apparently that was enough as they did not knock a third time. "I was sleeping give me a sec to get dressed" I called out a little quieter so they would know what was taking me so long. As I was slipping my boxers back over myself, I remember that I had thrown the last of my clothing in the dirty pile and let out a muted sigh and rolled my eyes. There was no way in hell I was going to put dirty clothes back on, so I figured there was nothing better to do besides forewarn whomever it was outside my door that I actually had no clothes on. Hell it was basically my plan for tomorrow morning anyway when I went to do my laundry.
"You will have to scratch the 'getting dressed' part, All my clothes are in a pile on the floor... cause they are dirty. You still need me?" I was in no way embarrassed to appear mostly naked in front of another morph, most actually did not mind as we were more desensitized to it than Humans were. Humans had this weird thing where seeing anything naked including us sent them into some sort of uncomfortable zone where the could not cope very well. Anything besides an unevolved animal made them this way, which did not make sense to me or many morphs really, but I guess they just can't handle it. I guess it had to do with seeing our junk, along with their own species' junk and it weirded them out. Again, morphs junk was the same anatomy as their original unevolved animal counterparts, most of which were covered with a sheath and fur unlike their dangling vulnerable parts.
"That is acceptable" a voice called back. It was a male, somewhat deep but not a voice I recognized. I made my way slowly to the door making sure that I was as deflated as possible and nothing could be obviously noted through my boxers. Scent would not be a problem as I did not get that far so I did not bother spraying myself down.
I got to the door and unlocked the bolt and opened it. I was greeted by the same bi-colored eyed Shepherd-Husky who was watching me earlier. The husky part was more of a guess due to his one pale-blue eye on the left and his light-brown eye on the right. His ears were also very husky like as well as his bushy tail. The rest was pretty much completely shepherd, the tan and black fur color, the build of his body and muscles, and his head shape for the most part.. He had a little bit of a defined face mask but it was not very husky like but was symmetrical. I guessed his was a second generation offspring, where one parent was an actual shepherd and the other was a half mix of shepherd and husky. I had to say that he was strikingly good looking and well built.
Of course I was careful not to show my observance of him, and I am sure he did the same. When most morphs greet for the first time we make sure not to show that we are analyzing how they look, what breed they are, or even what they are wearing. We all do however, but we are just good at concealing it unlike the Humans who make everything they do obvious.
I cocked my head to the side, a subtle hint of me wanting to know why he was doing here and what he wanted. He in turn tilted his head a little towards my room indicating he wanting to go inside before speaking. The audacity of such a notion caused me to give him a glare to see if he would recede the request, but he stood his ground which either meant it was important or he wanted to talk about it in private.
"You may enter, but the door stays open" I said looking him in the eyes, then turned around and enter my room as if he had never been there. He followed right behind me at a respectful distance and choose to stand in the middle of the room while I sat down on my bed next to the letter I had set down earlier. He took notice in the letter before shifting his position a bit.
"That letter next to you is the group outing scheduled for Wednesday, which is two days from now. Do you wish to take part or stay here?" he said in a quite tone, that was the same pitch as "upset" or "Down" but did not carry undertone or expression. Perhaps he was soft-spoken or just trying to keep anyone from overhearing outside the door. "It's going to be me, you, and two others. I will be in charge and I hope that neither you or the other two will run off, or do something... non-advisable."
"Alright. But what is keeping you from doing "non-advisable" stuff?" I had to ask, as I would not think him to be completely immune from it since he was here as well.
He looked at me and smiled gently. "Because I am a volunteer, and I am only allowed to take out the well behaved and non-threading individuals. You are one of them, I do suggest you keep it that way. However I will warn you as I did the others, I will call the police and the facility if you try anything." With that he walked out of my room gently closing the door behind him with his bushy tail swaying gently, but not before turning back around and giving me a weird look. I did not bother responding but rather go on acting as if I hadn't noticed. I did have to say to myself after the door clicked shut that he was damn good looking.
I did have a thing for guys, so one could say I was gay. I never acted on it though, not in school or outside of it. I had never really been bothered seeking out a mate as my life was not stable enough, nor my being as a whole. I could admit to myself that I was probably to screwed up to have anyone in my life, so It was not something my mind focused on. Even with that being so however I sometimes felt alone and wish I had a companion to be with, but I could not let that happen. I just couldn't... Even if I did develop an interest in him I doubt it would go anywhere, even if I actively tried on my part. He was very well build, good looking, and did not put off any odd signs that he might be interested. Even if he did put signs out I would reject them and continue with my lonely way of life.
I grabbed the letter sitting next to me and read it. It was typed in that normal even spaced black font that a normal word program defaults to and was short and simple. It basically restated everything he had just said to me including the warnings, though a bit more professional sounding. It did not say who all was going on the walk, it just merely stated "group outing". The only new pieces of information that I gathered from it was that it could last anywhere between 4 to 6 hours depending on whether and what everyone wanted to do, and that is started at 11PM.
I tossed the letter on the ground in front of me and flopped onto my back causing the bed to bounce in return, though the cheap bed obviously showed its poor construction as the bounce was not more than what a piece of foam would give. Plus the fact that it hurt my back with its superb collapsing ability.
As I began to close my eyes I was reminded of that fact that I had left myself still pent up by that part of your brain that tells you that you are in fact horny. As much as a wanted to, I also wanted to wait. It might have only been mid-afternoon but I was tired and wanted to take a nap. Hell since I guess I had no where to be and the fact that I still had some snack food under my bed that I had sneaked out of the cafeteria, I could stay in here for the rest of the day and eat when I woke up.
With that I rolled over on my right side facing the blank white wall. I laughed a little when I thought about how colorless it was, and that if one wanted to they could put any color that they chose on top and it would stick. Sort of like my life I guess, except I removed all the color off mine on purpose. It made my life easier not having to be something that other people wanted me to be, or wanted me to act. I closed my eyes and let sleep take me away from this world, even if its relief was temporary.
Sometime late, there was a knock at my door. My first reaction was to look out of the window to gauge what time it was, though they had given me a clock after the second day I liked this way better. The sun was well past set and the moon was high in the sky. Everything outside was lit up in its bright white light and I could see clearly all the way to the woods some 100 yards out.
A second knock came and I was forced the drag myself out of my bed. The first though I had while standing up and giving myself a quick stretch was why someone would be knocking on the door this late at night. It was well past 11PM by what I saw and everyone by this time was either in their room sleeping, or those who had clean-up duty and should be close to done.
I undid the locks to the door for the 8th time today, turned the cold brass knob, and cracked it open just enough to peek out. Lo and behold, there was the bi-colored Shepherd mix standing outside of my door again. I did not even bother to say anything before I started to close the door on him, but he put a paw on the edge and pushed it open all the way. I shop him a glare before I pushed on it harder but he was stronger than I was, and easily kept me from doing so. He wouldn't stop looking at my eyes either, his gaze was vigilant and continuous.
"What the hell do you want" I growled in anger, but I received no answer. He forced his way through the door and into my room, coming closer and closer to me. I was more angry than afraid and I doubted he was going to do anything and that this was some sort of test. He slid his paw on the back side of the door and pushed it close with just enough force you could hear a gentle clack from the latch nesting inside the strike plate.
Out of no where he began to undress himself, and I watched and he started with his shirt. His fur was medium length and fairy dense. He chest and front where that typical shepherd tan color, and on his side I could make out the point where it turned black giving him the "saddle-back" pattern. He was very well built, at least a hundred pounds over my 165 self, and about 6' 2". I watch as his arms flex as he pulled his shirt over his head and flung it on the floor.
I watch his paws move to the front of his pants , and I heard in chuckle a bit inside of his chest and he began undoing the fasteners. He went slowly, doing each button as a tease and as he went I could see his erection forming from behind. He even went as far as groping himself as more of a tease as he went through the zipper, followed by pulling the front his pants apart to reveal his boxers. He wasted no time with those however and pulled them off along with his pants.
I was presented with a very large tan sheath with a visible knot inside, along with what I could guess as half his shaft sticking out. He was already dripping and his balls were pulled tight against his body. I was too stunned at this point to notice anything more other than his bushy tail swinging back and fourth behind him, and I did not even notice him reach out and grab me until after the fact.
He pulled me against his naked self and pulled my face up to his before putting his lips on mine and separating them so he could stick in tongue inside my muzzle. While he was doing that he began to fondle me with his right paw slowly outside of my boxers, and I could feel his own member throbbing right above my own. He pulled apart the kiss and looking down at my boxers before taking his thumb claw and pulling them down from the front.
Placing his paw back on my sheath he gave it a good squeeze eliciting a slight grunt from me. I was trying to hold myself back and keep from getting exciting but he was determined. Even though none of my dick was sticking out, he pulled back my sheath and brought himself down to where his muzzle would meet the tip of it. He gave it a good long lick and I could instantly feel myself getting hard despite my best efforts.
"No!" I screamed as I kneeled him in the chest, forcing the air out of his lungs and causing him to stand up to he could expand his chest. He looked hurt, as if someone had just broken his heart and left him on the street to fend for himself. He looked like a puppy whose mother had just scolded him for chewing on something. He began to whimper and cry, tears streaming down his cheeks.
I walked over to him slowly to see if I had hurt him to much. But before I got a chance, the illusion ended and I woke up to the sound of my small alarm clock, and the dream seemingly faded away as reality reared its ugly head.