So Sinks in The Harshness of LIfe
#89 of The Moonrise Chronicles
"Edward?"
Verona's voice was a mere whisper.
"What?"
His voice was throaty and full of pain.
"What
happened back there?"
"She
took matters into her own hands. I tried to avoid it, but it seems that my
attempt was doomed to failure right from the start."
"I
don't understand."
He
groaned."Neither do I. All I was trying to do was avoid heartache and here she
went and got angry with me. I wasn't trying to be macho. I was just trying to
help."
"I know
sweetie. Life does seem to have thrown you through the ringer hasn't it?"
He
lapsed back into silence. There was still a considerable distance to cover
before they got home. Anna was recovering, and while no one else had been seriously
harmed, the tragedy was sinking in to all of them like a huge bruise.
Billie
was driving, his fingers and knuckles white with tension. There were a few
glances in the rearview mirror, but otherwise he kept his eyes on the road. The
car behind him was straining to keep up. Speed limit or no, he was hightailing
it out of this region for good. He wasn't worried about the cops. Cops were a dime
a dozen. No, he was worried about things that could fly and tear and strip the
flesh from your body with wicked talons.
They had been werewolves; well he too
was part werewolf. He could deal with the grounded ones, but ones that flew in
the air were just too much to handle.
The
ride how was the longest anyone had ever endured. There was too much tension
and numbing emotions for anyone to break down yet. There was only the rumbling
of the road as the tires kicked up stones and debris and flung it to the side.
A slight pattering of drizzle began to coat the windshield. Lightning lit up
the sky overhead. It was an appropriate setting, form fitted for their mood.
The
outskirts of Pittsburgh never looked so good. The drive through the city was a
kaleidoscopic nightmare of lights, and as it had begun to rain steadily, the
added myriad of a thousand drops focusing the colors into tiny rainbow rivulets
was almost maddening.
The
cars pulled up in Anna's neighborhood and everyone got out and ran up to the
house. They were a sorry looking lot, and all the worse for wear emotionally. Externally,
everyone was fine, even poor Anna, who had endured a lot of damage. Two rings
had wrought a minor miracle.
Maria
was hardened from life in the Siberian forests, so death was a commonplace
thing. She had lost children and grandchildren, so she was inured against even
such a personal loss as this. She took charge, making tea, and yelling at
everyone to change their clothing. Not only was it soaked clean through, those
who had any to begin with, but some of it had bits and pieces of questionable stains
and detritus on it. Verona was more than happy to get her armor off. Her every
move had to be calculated to avoid it touching her own skin.
Edward
watched them like it was a dream, then turned and went back outside. He was
still in shock and hardly aware he was still naked. He allowed the water to
wash away the filth and the smell which had done him so little good. He could
almost accept the fact that she was gone, but she had stabbed him in the heart;
no - worse; right in his tender soul. He wasn't bad. He had only tried to do
the only thing he knew how, in a way he saw as being best.
He
swore out loud, a heavy oath that was absorbed by the sudden downpour that
drenched the earth and hid the tears streaming down his face. Everything they
had done, whether it was as lovers or as partners; it was all for naught. All
that time in investing his heart in her was up in a moment of smoke. He didn't
have Verona to turn to now. She had eyes for Alexei, and in return he had them only
for her.
Like
calls to like. It was so very true.
He felt
a hand on his shoulder. It was Billie.
"Eddie,
I'm so sorry."
"It's
not your fault Billie, it was mine. I think I tried too hard."
"I
don't think so. You're a good guy. I'm the one that got that stuff for her. She
told me to get it and I did. I had no idea she would be so stupid as to drink
it."
Edward
looked up. "You got it?" There was a brief flash of anger in his eyes, but the
glow faded. "It doesn't matter. If you hadn't done it, she would have found
another way of getting it."
"I
don't know about that. I thought she was just going to use the stuff as a
deterrent. That kid had a big mind in her pretty little head."
"Yes,
it was wasn't it?"
"Her
mind?"
"Her
head. It was pretty. I don't think I told her that enough."
"Hey,
you two were tight. She knew how you felt. I don't understand why she left you
man."
The
rain continued to pour down. "Look Eddie, this weather sucks. I know you won't
get sick or anything, but why don't you come inside? Her mama is going through
a rough spot too you know. You both need some moral support right now."
Disregarding
the proximity of the houses, Edward transformed into his darkest feral being
and roared in frustration at the unfairness of it all. A clap of thunder masked
most of it, so that the neighbors only heard an especially loud boom. It still
managed to rattle their nerves as much as it did the fine china.
He
shrunk back down, feeling the smallest he had ever felt in his life. If it were
possible, he would claw that mass of metal out of his head and drink his own
bottle of silver nitrate. There was no reason for him to go on living. All he
had managed to do was to resurrect an old were that probably should have been
left in his frozen crypt. Nothing else seems to have mattered. The only thing
that mattered to him was gone once again.
The
time it took to walk inside felt like an indeterminable eternity. Someone threw a towel over his shoulders, and
Anna made no fuss when he collapsed in a chair soaking wet. Marcus crouched
down next to him. "Son, you tired. We all know how hard you tried. But
sometimes things happen because they have to happen. I think Maggie cared for
you deeply, and her way of showing it to you was to hurt you so that her loss
would be lessened."
"If so,
then it didn't work. She made it worse."
There
were the sounds of sobbing in the background, and Edward knew he wasn't the
only one to be feeling the loss. This situation had turned into a train wreck.
With a sudden resolve, he stood and headed for the door, transforming as he
did.
"Whoa
son, where do you think you're going?"
"Get
out of my way Marcus. I'm going back to where I found Leeds. I'm going to tear
his family from limb to limb and leave their remains to rot in the sun!"
"And
this will bring back Maggie how?"
"Nothing
will bring her back. But I can make the ones who caused this to pay!"
The
tension in the room was mounting. "Edward. Think. Maggie gave her life so that
this would be over. If you go out and start it all up again, then she died for
nothing. Is that what you want? For her life and death to have been
meaningless?"
"It
wasn't meaningless. It was a wonderful life and now it's gone, snuffed out
before she even had a chance to live it to the fullest!" His eyes were glowing.
"We all
lose people we love Edward. Don't you think you should spend some time with
those you have, those who have only just come back into your life?"
Edward
turned to look at his parents. He had known they were still alive. It had to
have been some holdover from is time in Russia, for the thought that they still
lived and breathed had come into his consciousness back then. But right now,
seeing them only made him angrier. They had deserted him, just like Maggie's
family had deserted her. They might have their reasons, but whatever they were,
they weren't good enough.
"I wish
none of you any ill-will, but I am going. I never should have left. She's gone,
and I have nothing to live for. So I might as well go out fighting." With a
surprisingly gentle motion, his huge paw opened the door handle and he stepped
out in the rain again.
Billie
stood in the open doorway and watched the form blend itself into the stormy
night.
"Well
fuck."
Leonardo
pushed his way to the door. Putting his hand on Billie's arm, he said through
the link, "Some things have to work
themselves out before life can go on. I'm afraid that he is doomed to living
with his pain for a very long time thanks to me. But have hope. Perhaps he will
burn off his rage in a constructive manner."
Kathryn
was still crying, and Anna was trying her hardest not to weep. Overall though,
Billie was feeling the worst. He had bought this stuff for the kid, and then
she had gone and used it destructively. He thought he had known her plan, but
drinking a bottle of poison hadn't been in his version of it. There was a
reason she hadn't told him everything. One of these days he was going to have
to learn to go with his gut instincts. If it didn't seem right, it probably
wasn't.
He needed a drink.
"Who wants some booze? I know I
do."
The rain was pouring down in
buckets as the huge werewolf tore through the streets and out into the
surrounding suburbs. He didn't have a specific location he was heading to, just
east for the moment. He knew the smell of the Kindred, and no matter what form
they might assume, he would track them down. So much was engraved upon his
memory that the only way of removing it was to remove the cause. If that didn't
work, he would tear his own head off to be rid of the memories.
He tore across a road, forcing a
car to veer and slam on its brakes. The occupants only saw a dark shape
illuminated in their headlights and reported to the police that someone had a
horse running loose in the storm.
On he went, tearing up the ground
with all the rage of Cerberus, leaping now and again to test the limits of his
form. Canines where not designed for leaping, not like cats were, but a few
adjustments to his form made him faster and more agile. He intended to catch
the Kindred from the air like they were little butterflies. And then he was
going to rip their wings off and force feed their body parts to them.
Somewhere north of the picnic
grounds was a pack of wolves, sticking to the woods and avoiding the eyes of
humans. They had come as called, and now they returned to their human captors.
They knew these humans meant well, but there was as strong desire to stay here
in the wilds. However there were members still back there, nursing their cubs
and waiting for the rest to return. If they did not, the humans would likely
lose their minds at managing to have their sanctuary emptied once again. But
when the leaders called, all must answer. The female Alpha had asked for their
presence, and so they came.
The Alpha had told them to come as
a show of strength, though what strength the pack had against these far
superior creatures they did not know. Now it was over too quickly, and the trek
back was miserable and wet. Wolf lives were short, and as one they were glad
they had no such troubles as these creatures had to deal with.
Back in Pittsburgh, things weren't
much better. Billie helped Leo pack up the armor since he didn't need any special gloves to
touch it. Retrieving the crate in this rain wasn't much fun, but after
everything that had happened, it was a simple and readily acceptable task.
Billie found a note, stashed there by Maggie no doubt. He stuck it in his pocket
for a private reading later.
Once the crate was closed, he went
to the bathroom, locked the door and pulled the wet slip of paper out to read the
quickly scrawled message.
Billie,
I'm
so sorry for everything that has happened if you're reading this. It means that
I did what I felt I had to do. Tell Edward not to fret, for I really do love
him. He is an ass sometimes, but not in a bad way. I wish everyone the best,
and I want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong. You did good Billie.
Sometimes life just needs an extreme course change, and I was the one who had
her hands on the wheel when it became necessary. One person dying is better
than many dying.
Love
Maggie.
He read it twice before throwing it
in the toilet and flushing. He watched
it swirl a few times before disappearing down the porcelain abyss. No one
needed to know about it. It would only raise more questions; questions which as
usual he would have no good answers for.
He came back to the living room and
resumed hitting the bottle. Maria came over and gave him a kiss on the top of
his head, but even that did little to assuage his guilt. He would have rather
died than have anyone else perish, and that went double for the girl. She was
smart, witty, bright, and Edward had been lucky to have her. She was young
looking, but in human years she had been old enough. Werewolves tended to
outlive the normal people who scurried about in their short ordinary lives. But
that mattered not. She was gone in a puff of smoke.
Out in the downpour, Edward slowed
his stride for nothing. In the morning,
when road crews came to assess the damage from the storm, a few of the trees
littering the roadways had not been downed by high winds. He was now back at
the park, in one fifth the time it had taken him taking the bus. His head was
buzzing with rage, seething at the horror of living alone. He was consumed with
anger. Somewhere in all this his mind shut down. He forgot who he was. It was
like Russia all over again.
His howl shattered the night.