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Chapter 20: I Love You, I Hate You

Awkward was a constant state of Kilyan's from the time he hit puberty, but he had never felt so awkward as the morning he found himself sitting on second watch with Loryn. They were going to set out at noon rather than in the evening just for the sake of making better time. As the sun climbed steadily higher in the sky, Kilyan and Loryn sat around the barren fire pit, not really looking at each other but not avoiding each other either. Loryn looked as grim as he had the night before. It was so strange to see Loryn that way: Loryn, who was always smiling and joking, ruffling the manes of the younger warriors. Loryn was known among the student warriors as the more fun of their instructors. Sometimes he was slack with the rules, he always found a way to make their exercises into fun games and friendly competitions, and he was like a second father to everyone, always ready to give advice on matters that the boys were too frightened to confront their own fathers with. Sitting there watching Loryn now, Kilyan wanted to say something to put the old familiar smile on his lips, however awkward and nervous he felt.

"I finally fell over on the right girl, sir," Kilyan said suddenly, hoping he wasn't about to earn himself an hour's worth of pushups.

To Kilyan's relief, Loryn looked up from his dark mediations and smiled. "Did you now? And did you get caught this time?"

"No, sir!" said Kilyan, grinning back.

"So you had a nice little time over at the winter village! That's nice to hear. The females over there are huge, which is lovely in several ways."

Kilyan laughed, blushing when Loryn cupped his empty paws over invisible breasts and buttocks, squeezing his fingers on the air.

"She was a very nice girl," said Kilyan. "I told her I would come back for her after my first mating season, that I would take her . . . as my second wife."

Kilyan grew very still, waiting for Loryn's reaction. Of course he would know Kilyan wanted Lea as his first wife. Everyone knew that. Kilyan had moaned about nothing else all year.

"I would never have harmed Lea that day," Kilyan went on in earnest when Loryn only stared darkly at the barren fire pit. "Because, sir, I have loved your daughter for years -- since we were children! I just wanted her to love me back . . ." Kilyan's voice trailed into silence when Loryn held up his paw and looked sternly at him. He bit his lip and bowed his head. Maybe he had said too much.

"You know, Kilyan," began Loryn with a weary sigh, "I was ready to murder you that day in the forest when I saw you on top of my daughter. I saw red. But luckily Kel was there and he got to you first. I think I about lost my senses. That's my little girl and she's crying and some male is between her legs!"

Kilyan flinched at the words and kept his head bowed. Oh, god, why had he said anything?

"But I know it was an accident, Kilyan. I know that. I'm not angry at you. I am angry at me, young one. I am angry at me."

Kilyan looked up quickly. "But why, sir?"

"I failed to protect my daughter, that's why. It seems when she is in need of me I'm never there. But just looking at you, Kilyan, I can see that you're going to grow up to become a good male, a strong male. Even stronger than your father there. And for that reason, I am willing to trust you to protect Lea with your strength -- with the strength her father does not possess."

"Oh, sir," said Kilyan, shaking his head. "Don't say that, sir --!"

Loryn held up his paw again and closed his eyes. "Kilyan, it is one thing to be strong in battle. Any blind idiot can kill something if he swings around wildly enough. But to be strong in mind? That is what you possess, Kilyan." Loryn gazed at Kilyan with affectionate black eyes. "Hell, I watched you grow up the same way I watched Lea. You're almost like a son to me! But you're so much more mature than I was at sixteen! If there was a hole, my dick was in it." Loryn laughed to himself and chucked a small twig in the fire pit.

Kilyan sat happily shocked. Loryn had pretty much just given his blessing! But he hated to hear Loryn putting himself down -- Loryn, who had been like a father and a big brother to all the young warriors.

"You know, sir," said Kilyan, "I don't think Lea thinks so lowly of you. I think she knows that you are doing your best for her, that you love her a great deal. And besides, sir: no one is responsible for Eno except Eno. Your leaving him did not give him the right to abduct Lea!" Kilyan's muscles tensed just thinking about it.

"You know," said Loryn, "I think you love my daughter more than I ever realized."

Kilyan saw Loryn was smiling at him and he blushed.

When high noon rolled around, Kilyan and Loryn awoke Kel and Zaldon. The group packed up and set off through the trees. Zaldon led the way, stopping every now and then to sniff at Eno's or Lea's scent while the others waited patiently, their faces hard set. Then Zaldon would start off again and Kel would fall in behind him, followed by Kilyan, and lastly, a very grim Loryn. The scent eventually led them east just as they'd supposed. They stepped out of the wood and found themselves standing at the top of a steep incline. Spreading away to the horizon was a vast, rocky wasteland, full of curving hills and caves, withered trees, cracked and dry earth. Kilyan thought darkly that at least they didn't have to worry about lone wolves any more: no wolves ever traveled these lands in the hottest seasons. Only the rare merchant.

"There's something over here!" Kel called.

The others gathered around Kel. He was standing beside a small jutting formation of rock that reached over the incline, and lying on the rock was a sack, an orange, and a lot of dried blood.

"That motherfucker!" Loryn growled, snatching up the orange and crushing it in his fist. He turned away, as if he couldn't stand the sight of all the blood.

"Almost a day old," said Zaldon, sniffing. "Maybe less. Probably less. The scent keeps going east. I think it's safe to assume that Eno really is heading to the sun village."

"I don't understand," said Kilyan, shaking his head darkly. "He leaves this trail behind so we can find him. But why? Does he want to be punished for this? I'd be glad to do it for him!"

Kilyan felt his chest heaving. His father put a paw on his shoulder, and he tried to relax. But the thought of his Lea helpless with that fiend! And poor Loryn looked broken. He was standing there with his back to them, his paw tight on his spear, his head bowed. As if he felt their stares, he lifted his head and marched past them down the incline, his face very hard. They followed him.

Kilyan had a dozen things going through his mind as they foot marched through the rocky wasteland. What had happened to Lea back on that rock to make her bleed like that? And was she dead now? Kilyan shuddered to think of it. And the orange. What had that orange meant? God, if he could only get his paws on that stinking Eno! It was maddening to him that a wolf like that could exist, and he understood more deeply than ever his father's rage when his mother had been taken sixteen years ago. To think he had almost been made motherless by this same bastard's father when he was a pup, and now here he was about to lose the one female who from the time she first smiled in his presence had him hooked. Oh, Lea, please be alive -- I'm coming for you!

They marched until dusk and paused to rest when the last thin rays of the sun were sinking beyond the horizon. There were many strange pillars in the distance, tall stones standing at least twelve feet in height. Kilyan couldn't stop staring at them, but as the others said nothing about it, he decided to ignore them for the time being.

Zaldon rested on a large rock, sprinkling himself with water from his canteen after the long, hot day, and Kilyan stood near him, doing much the same. Loryn went over to a tree to take a piss, and Kilyan was not surprised when his father followed him.

Loryn had been looking grim when Kel approached, but he smiled when Kel stopped at his side and said with narrowed eyes, "Kel, you little slut, you. You got some this morning, didn't you?"

"Of course," said Kel, blushing in spite of himself. "Zaldon will never return to the summer village. I'm grabbing at every opportunity."

Loryn laughed softly. "I thought so. I can always tell. You have this glow about you after you get your ass ploughed."

Kel laughed too. They stood pissing against the tree together a moment before Loryn spoke again, this time darkly.

"You know that son of ah bitch pissed here too? I don't need Zaldon to sniff it to tell me. God awful stench of piss -- strong piss. Male piss. And a little sprinkling of female. So I know Lea was alive -- at least when they stopped here." Loryn shook his head and whispered darkly, "Motherfucker."

Kel watched him sympathetically. "I know Eno's a prick," he said, "but I don't think he's a killer."

"Yeah, he's probably having too much fun r-raping her --" Loryn scowled, and Kel knew he was reprimanding himself as he held back tears.

"Hey," Kel said gently, "you don't have to be brave in front of us."

"Why? Because you all already know what a pussy I am?" Loryn said with a laugh. He jiggled himself dry and dragged a paw across his eyes.

"No. Because we all understand how difficult this is for you. Hell, you were there for me when Aliona was taken. Let us be here for you!"

Loryn nodded heavily, then clapped a paw on Kel's shoulder. "Thanks, Mama," he said, smiling through a sudden rise of tears.

Kel clapped him on the back and they returned to the others.

When Kel and Loryn returned, Zaldon rose from the rock and shouldered his pack. Kilyan did the same and realized suddenly that if they were to continue east, they would have to pass through those eerie stones, which were casting their long shadows in the fading dusk. He finally asked the older wolves what they were.

The four wolves fell into line, marching with Zaldon in the lead and Loryn once again at the rear. Kilyan shivered. He hated passing through the stones. He felt as if they were watching him, looking down on him from their lofty height. And passing out of the moonlight and into their cold shadows was like passing into an icy wind. So chilling. Had his poor Lea been here? What horrors had she suffered here? Kilyan closed his eyes.

"Ancient memorial stones," Zaldon answered of Kilyan, as if it did not matter. "The sun wolves come here to carve the symbols of their warriors when they pass. Every warrior has a symbol in the sun village and they wear it like a talisman. Some of them even burn their symbols on their arms."

"Our knowledgeable guide," said Loryn behind Kilyan, rolling his eyes.

"Damn right!" said Zaldon, flashing Loryn a smile. He stopped at a stone pillar and sniffed. "Yes, they've been here. The same scent of their fur. Maybe a little of Lea's blood. I thought I saw tracks -- two sets. He chased her again."

Loryn ground his teeth.

"I think she ran through this whole goddamned thing," Zaldon further remarked. "I see the tracks going very far in. I see his too. And the scents are fairly fresh. Hours old. I think we might've caught up to them."

"Thank god!" breathed Loryn in a voice that trembled, and Kilyan heard him cracking his knuckles.

"Then they could still be here," Kel said. "Maybe we should split up and search. Go in pairs. One pair could search at this end, the other pair could look down at the other end. We could meet on the other side, toward the east. In about half an hour? Report what we've found. If one pairing needs help, you know what to do."

Kilyan nodded. He knew his father meant the howl. A warrior in need of assistance gave a howl when in peril. It was a certain kind of howl, long and loud and wild. Kilyan had never forgotten the first time he'd ever heard it: it had sent his blood rushing through his veins. The howl of the warrior. It was an invigorating thing.

"Whoever goes with me, I'm going to the far eastern end, to the other side of this thing where they'll most likely to be," said Loryn resolutely.

"I'll go with you, sir!" Kilyan said at once.

Kel looked as if he wanted to protest but thought better of it. He had to keep reminding himself that Kilyan wasn't a pup any more. He was almost an adult. And besides, Kilyan could fight with the best of them.

"All right then," Kel said. "Zaldon and I have this end. Let's get moving."

Kilyan felt his blood throbbing in his temple as he followed Loryn through the stones. He was just so mad! All this blood and evidence of raping -- he couldn't wait to rip Eno's head off! But now Loryn was speaking to him in a low, calm voice. Loryn was telling him to leave the fighting to him!

"But, sir --!" cried Kilyan almost wildly, but he remembered himself and bit his tongue.

"Only attack Eno if it seems as if I've lost the upper paw. Understand? Your greatest priority, Kilyan, is saving Lea, taking her away to safety, and giving up the howl so that your father and Zaldon will come to aid us."

"Yes, sir. . ." said Kilyan miserably. He had wanted to so badly to pound Eno!

They hurried around the stones, peering around them all, stopping to sniff and hurrying on as Lea's scent grew sharper. When they came at last to the end, the tracks continued on. They followed them to a hunched hill, where a cave was nestled under a reaching precipice in the side.

Kilyan realized that they had gotten very far from Kel and Zaldon and even the stones. He wanted to point this out, that if one of them gave the howl it would take Kel and Zaldon a long time to reach them now, but he was so intent on beating Eno into a shapeless lump that he never stopped to think about it and merely brushed the thought aside.

When they reached the cave, Loryn paused outside of it. He stood beside the mouth of the cave, his back to the wall, his spear held ready, and listened. Kilyan did the same. Thank god one of them had a cool head, for Kilyan would have otherwise barged right inside, but of course they had to secure the mouth of the cave first, make sure it was safe to enter.

They listened with their ears pricked forward. After a while, Kilyan thought he heard low breathing, low sobbing, and then a smell -- not Lea's smell but something more rugged, something more male. Was Eno in there alone? What the hell was going on? Where was Lea! Kilyan thought he smelled her, but the smell wasn't very strong. Maybe she was there after all. Maybe she was deep within the cave!

Loryn glanced at Kilyan and made a gesture. Kilyan nodded. It was a sign that meant "Cover me. I'm going first." Kilyan watched with his spear ready as Loryn turned slowly to enter the mouth of the cave. The second Loryn was attacked, Kilyan would leap to his rescue. He stood there with his muscles tense, ready for action, as Loryn stepped into the darkness.

Loryn stood in the mouth of the cave, the shaft of his spear held in both paws, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the gloom. The quiet sniffling continued, and then he heard a voice.

"So you caught up. At last," Kilyan heard the voice say. "A little sooner than I'd planned, but . . ."

Loryn stiffened angrily as Eno rose out of the gloom, tears in his eyes, his paw badly scraped and bleeding freely. He made a move toward Loryn, but Loryn barked for him to be still, to remove his belt and drop it, dagger and all. Eno obeyed, staring at Loryn with large, sad eyes. He even kicked the dagger and belt toward Loryn: Kilyan saw it sliding away through the dirt.

"What are you waiting for, Loryn?" Kilyan heard Eno whisper. "Didn't you come all this way to kill me --?"

"Shut up!" Loryn growled, squeezing his eyes shut. "And tell me where my daughter is."

"I don't know," Eno said with a sniff.

Kilyan heard Eno give a low hissing laugh and he thought he might lose control and spring, but he was glad when Loryn struck Eno in the face with a sudden swift blow of his spear butt. Eno gave a choked cry and fell to knees. Kilyan could see his head around the corner, and then Loryn was dragging Eno far away from the cave and into the moonlight. He jerked his head for Kilyan to come and Kilyan did readily.

"Guard him while I check the cave," Loryn told Kilyan.

"Yes, sir!"

Kilyan was only too happy as Loryn sprinted away to put his foot on Eno's head, to place his spear against this piece of scum's neck and bark for Eno to place his paws on the small of his back.

"And if you make one move," Kilyan told him, "I'll run this spear through your neck, and no one will be sorry I did it."

Eno only gave his hissing laugh. "Yes, me most of all, young one. Me most of all --"

"Shut up!" Kilyan growled, pressing his foot down harder.

"Would you like to hear what I did to her?" Eno whispered.

Kilyan's ears went flat on his head and he let out a low growl through his teeth.

"I fucked her so hard, she didn't know which way was up or down --!"

"No!" snarled Kilyan, tears springing to his eyes.

"And I fondled those big pussy lips, I smacked her around, I spanked her til she called me daddy. I fucked her so deep, she was moaning my name --"

"I said shut up!" Kilyan shouted and brought the butt end of his spear crashing down on Eno's head. He saw blood fly, and suddenly he was beating Eno with his spear, bringing the butt-end down on his back, his neck, kicking him in the sides. And Eno was rolling under these agonizing blows, taking them with grunts and sobs, giving a cry when Kilyan stomped on his tail. He laughed through a bloody nose after Kilyan had kicked him in the face, and he looked up at the young wolf and told him he was doing a splendid job.

Kilyan was beside himself. He was still roaring and beating Eno, blind in his rage, when he felt Loryn's tense arm around his chest, restraining him. Eno was clutching his sides, laughing wildly, blood all over him, and seeing Kilyan's wild frenzy to break free of Loryn, he laughed harder, hoarsely, around the blood in his teeth.

"Let me kill him, Loryn!" Kilyan was roaring, his spear dropped and forgotten now. "Let me k-kill him!" Tears were in his eyes and his fangs were flashing.

"Kilyan, no -- calm down! If we kill him, we'll never know where Lea is! She's not in the cave, Kilyan!"

This seemed to calm Kilyan down. He sagged in Loryn's grasp, his chest heaving, but his eyes were still fixed in terrible anger upon Eno, who was lying there battered and bruised and smiling widely at them.

Seconds later and Kel and Zaldon came running up, having heard the shouting and the laughing. They halted to see Eno lying bloody and limp on the ground and Kilyan standing breathless with tears in his eyes, and they guessed what must have happened here. But where was Lea?

Loryn pressed his foot down on Eno's throat and whispered, "Where is my daughter, you sick son of ah bitch."

"Oh, now I'm a son of ah bitch. It used to be that you pitied me for being sick, Loryn," said Eno, blood gushing over his lip.

"I find it hard to pity a male when he's raped my daughter," Loryn answered through his teeth.

Something died in Eno's black eyes. It was as if a light had gone out, and he whispered, "Oh. That."

Kel took up Eno's discarded belt and dagger. He unsheathed the dagger and sniffed the blade. It hadn't been used recently or recently wiped clean of blood. That was a relief. Kel squatted beside Eno with the dagger and Kilyan was amazed when his father held the blade at the corner of Eno's eye.

"Tell me where she is," Kel whispered, "or I'll pop your eye like a cork."

"No, you won't," said Eno, smiling a bloody smile.

"You're right," said Kel. "I won't because I'm not a male like you. But I will hurt you, Eno. I'm not afraid to cut you up with this dagger. And I don't care if you enjoy it. I'll cut you past that sickness. I'll cut you so badly, you won't enjoy it, sick shit that you are. You'll be sobbing for me to stop. And maybe only then will you understand the true anguish that you gave to Lea." Kel stood and said to the others, "Let's tie him."

Kilyan was only too happy to help the others throw Eno roughly on his stomach and tie his wrists and ankles. They used a length of rope from Zaldon's traveling pack to do this and pulled so hard as they were tying that Kilyan was satisfied when Eno whimpered. They dug out a quick fire pit with the small spades they always used. But this fire pit was large enough to bear Eno's hulking body and deep enough that he could not simply crawl out. They threw him in this new pit like a worthless sack. And then they started asking him questions. Every time Eno failed to answer correctly, Kel threw the dagger at him. But Kel threw it in such a way that it only grazed Eno's flesh, nicking him, ripping open the edges of his thighs, his arms, his sides. Kilyan was in awe. Throwing the dagger in such a precise way took great skill. And pretty soon, this slow torture had Eno covered in slashes and lying in a pool of his own blood.

"How long have you been here?" Zaldon asked Eno calmly, his big arms folded across his chest. If Lea was alive, they could figure out how far away she may have gotten by now.

"Long enough," Eno answered with a sneer and received the penalty: Kel threw the dagger with a flick of his wrist and the blade sliced open Eno's cheek in a splash of blood, grazing it as it sank in the earth. Eno squeezed his eyes shut and gurgled a scream, writhing in his ropes, and Kilyan was happy to see tears in his eyes. Good! Maybe he knew how Lea had felt now! Maybe he knew! Eno wasn't laughing anymore. Eno was crying. But he kept answering sarcastically, kept refusing to corporate. Kilyan didn't understand why. The game was up for Eno as far as he was concerned.

"Hmm. Maybe we have to use more brutal methods," said Zaldon, flexing his great, white fists open and shut. "Maybe the little brat needs a good old fashioned ass kicking."

Looking at Eno lying breathless, curled slightly in the pit, shivering and torn with blood and pain, Kilyan saw the tall wolf's eyes fly open wide. Kilyan didn't blame him: getting pounded by Zaldon's beefy paws was sure to be agonizing, a pain beyond the regular punching and smacking that Eno so relished in. Like Eno, Zaldon was from the winter village and was therefore massive -- as was the resulting pain of any beatings he might have given.

"All r-right," sobbed Eno, his lip trembling. He shivered in the ropes, blood gushing from his cuts. Kilyan saw him squeeze his eyes shut, and then he whimpered, "I'll -- I'll tell you everything -- p-please! Lea's alive. I just don't know where she is -- that's the truth."

"He's telling the truth," whispered Loryn, who didn't seem able to look at Eno. He stared angrily, resolutely across the rocky terrain, his striped ears flat on his head.

"N-Now can I have out of the pit?" Eno blubbered.

"Why the hell should we drag you out of the pit?" Zaldon demanded, his voice a growl. "We should leave you and light your sorry ass on fire."

"N-No!" Eno wailed, as wide-eyed as a child.

"Yes, I think burning him might get some real answers," added Kel, studying the dagger with interest.

"N-No! Please!"

Kilyan had to hold back a smile: his father and Zaldon were just bluffing. And Eno was falling for the ruse. Did he really believe that other wolves were as terribly cruel as he? That they would actually light him on fire? Kilyan felt sick just imagining doing such a thing.

"Loryn!" Eno wailed when Zaldon pretended to rummage in his hip bag for flint. "Loryn -- save me!"

"You dare!" Loryn hissed, not looking at Eno, but his entire body went tense and his fangs flashed. "You dare ask me for mercy!"

Eno started to sob brokenly. "I only did it because you hurt me, Loryn! You hurt me so b-badly -- and I wanted to hurt you!"

Loryn put a shaking paw to his eyes. "Well, you've succeeded! Are you happy?" he roared, kicking dirt down on Eno.

Eno flinched and closed his eyes as the dirt tossed over him.

Zaldon casually cleared his throat. "Kel, do you have a flint? I seem to have misplaced my own."

"Sure," said Kel, rummaging now in his traveling pack. "We'll light the little fucker's tail on fire --"

"No! Don't -- please!"

"I bet Lea said those very words to you!" Kilyan burst suddenly, his paws balling into fists.

"Don't worry, Kilyan," said Zaldon calmly, his big arms still folded across his chest. "After I beat him and Kel lights him on fire, we'll rip his dick off. He'll never rape a female again --"

"Lea escaped me!" Eno burst at last, his eyes squeezed shut.

They all stared at him.

"At f-first she escaped me and I chased her through the stones. But I caught her and I carried her here, to the cave. I took a nap. I heard this n-noise and I woke up and she was squeezing out through this hole --"

"Of course," said Zaldon as it dawned on him. "Those ancient tunnels. The sacred passages. They would take her to the sun village."

"Looks like we're going there after all," said Kel, sheathing the dagger.

"But what are we going to do with this piece of shit?" Zaldon wondered.

"We could sell him out," said Loryn, and Eno gasped in horror. "I've never been a pimp before. Always wanted to give it a try!"

Later that night, Eno lay in utter misery in the pit, shivering under his cuts, which were now sealed with dried blood. His back was flat on the earth, curled against the curve of the pit, but his knees were bent and folded to one side. He lay there in agony, listening to the others, who were sitting around a fire near the cave some several feet from him. After his confession, they had simply left him to stew in his own blood and pain, left him to lie bound and whimpering, the flies landing on his cuts and in his blood. And it was cold and windy, and Eno had never felt so torn and alone.

And suddenly, Loryn was standing over Eno, glaring down at him where he lay in the pit. Loryn stood very still, his empty paws at his sides. He had brought nothing, just this look in his eyes somewhere between misery and rage. Eno could see his jaw working, as if he was grinding his fangs behind his closed mouth, but his ears were standing erect on his head.

"You wanted me to kill you, didn't you?" Loryn whispered after a pause.

Eno stared up at Loryn with glistening black eyes. "But I wanted to see the sun village first," he admitted and suddenly could not look at Loryn. "My m-mother always said she'd take me . . ."

Loryn shook his head, still glaring at Eno. "You know, I was going to smash your brain into your skull. I was going to pound you. I was going to beat the bloody snot out of you. But when I saw you sniffling and crying there . . . I pitied you all over again. God! You're not that much younger than me, and yet you're still this child -- this sick little child! I couldn't bring myself to even look at you, you disgusted me so much, I couldn't do those things to you anymore."

Eno waited, staring up at Loryn with miserable, wet, black eyes.

"And you did all this . . . just to hurt me? You used Lea to hurt me -- you knew damn well what you were doing! You knew exactly how to hurt me --!" Loryn broke off and put a shaking paw to his eyes, then lowered his paws and clenched them tight. "You know, I gave my heart to you! Fool that I was, I did that!"

Eno just shivered under his cuts, gazing up at Loryn, breathless and waiting. Loryn shook his head and cracked his knuckles, tears now in his eyes.

"Goddamn you!" Loryn growled, kneeling down into the pit. He cradled Eno's head in one paw, who looked up at him with the same wide-eyed hunger, the same wide-eyed and terrible lonely ache he had looked up at Loryn with sixteen years ago. Then Eno broke down sobbing.

"How could you do this to me?" Loryn whispered. "I loved you!"

"But I loved you too, don't you see?"

"You didn't, Eno! Or we wouldn't be here -- I wouldn't be kneeling in your fucking b-blood --"

"Loryn, please end it," Eno whispered, staring up at Loryn with trembling lips. "It h-hurts . . ." And Loryn knew Eno meant his soul, not those cuts all over his body.

"God, I hate you," Loryn said, shaking his head, and Eno winced and sobbed at the words. "I should let you linger on and suffer for what you did my Lea -- I should --!" He broke off as if on the verge of a burst of rage, and swallowing thickly, he whispered, "But I love you too. That's why we're in this mess. . . ."

"Loryn? P-Please!"

Loryn looked down at Eno and something in him sagged. With glistening eyes, he placed his paws around Eno's throat and squeezed. Eno choked, shuddering under this slow strangulation, but his straining eyes drifted to Loryn's as if he was trying to drink in his face, trying to hold on to Loryn's face, the last thing he would see before he died.

"I did . . . love you . . . Loryn," Eno coughed, "I think . . . I was . . . s-sick . . ." His lip trembled and he looked so terribly sad.

"I know," Loryn whispered, tears steadily flowing. "I loved you too."

Eno smiled weakly to hear these words and tears streamed from his eyes. Loryn leaned down and kissed Eno on the lips, a trembling kiss, a miserable kiss that said goodbye. Then Loryn tightened his hold on Eno's throat, and when Eno fell still under his paws, he knew he was dead.