For No Apparent Reason- A1S2
#2 of For No Apparent Reason
DAVID JENKINS sees the floor of his wonderful Rhode Island mansion melt away as a huge fireball engulfs him, filled with smoldering heat. He sees a volcanic caldera, smells sulfur and can hear the screams of millions of condemned men and women who have passed away. This is Hell.
ACT ONE, SCENE TWO
DJ: Why does this keep happeneing to me? This terrible place- I wish I never had to be here and I never want to go here again.
Patrick "Fizzle" Martinez: Well, well, well. Guess who's returned to this most terrible place? I guess I'll have to greet you- in life, I raped numerous women and even men and my appetite for sex and lust knew no boundaries. And I would certainly love to do the same thing to you.
DJ: No! I want this nightmare to stop and I can go up back to the surface world.
PFM: But you'll keep returning him to the surface world only to come back here each time you fall asleep. And if you don't fall asleep, Ned will take you.
NED HADLEY enters. He is an otter, or at least the skeletal remains of an otter wearing a black robe and carrying a sickle, making him the Grim Reaper.
NH: And I knew him too. We went to the same school. In life, I was a murderer- easy to anger and slow to forgive. And now for my wrath, I am cursed to be the embodiment of Death. It is not a task I take lightly, having to carry men's souls for eternal judgement and I wish-
PFM: (interrupts him) Enough of your stupid morality speeches, I can't stand them. The others burning in their cauldrons have regrets too but the Devil never gave them the opportunity to return to the surface world. Do you even know who we are, Mr. Jenkins?
DJ: I wish you could be gone.
PFM: Always with the humor! We are the Damned, special unsaved members of the various species who instead of burning in the fires of Hell now enthrall others to do the same. And we hate all living things.
DAVID and his demon tormentors hear the voice of a woman screaming for help, over the thousands of voices already in Hell.
PFM: Oh, shut up, Orisha. You were a bad woman in life- you were a prostitute who thought that praying to Mary Magdalena would help you. That was a real genius move, and you're one of the Damned too.
The audience now sees Orisha Fulgencio the panther trapped perpetually to a heavy rock, her face and genitalia the only visible body parts.
OF: Please, stop this! I promise you God I'll do anything- be a better woman. And I'll make amends to the Roman church and I'll do these things.
NH: I hate to admit it but it is too late for you. The policy states that ALL the unsaved must be sent here. There was no mistake, my dear Orisha.
PFM: So I get to have sex with you for all eternity. We will be together forever because that's what you've always wanted. Tell you what, I'll let you go if you can name the father of your unborn child at the very moment you died. I know you died pregnant. (waits a little while for a response) You have no clue and would I honestly keep my word? And besides, your unborn baby is in Hell too. Talk about two for the price of one. And yet the only reason why he is not being tortured is that whole "innocence of a child" bullshit.
OF: (screaming) Shut up, shut up, shut up! You will not touch him.
PFM: Too bad I can't but just think, Felix grows up in Hell. He knows nothing but Hell and that's the way it is going to be. I even clawed his face when he entered and those scars will stay forever. And when the time comes and he grows up, I too will rape him just like I did those other women and men in life.
OF: You may have a long time for that but there will come a day when you will be thrown in the lake of fire. And you will be tortured forever.
PFM: Might as well have fun while I can then.
Felix Fulgencio enters. He is a boy about four years of age and as such he is extremely short and wears a singed grayish robe. Four diagonal rows of blood can be seen on his face where Fizzle scratched him upon entering Hell.
Felix Fulgencio: Quit touching my mother! I hate you so much Fizzle!
PFM: Well, you can leave if you want! Good luck getting out- just because you were without original sin doesn't mean your mother was too. In fact, she was the worst prostitute there ever was. And you won't escape Hell either. Only Ned here protects you and if I can overpwer him then you will be next.
NH: But I can't let that happen! I am the Grim Reaper but even I, in this terrible state have some certain degree of power. I must keep the boy here safe and unharmed. He still must be able to make his own decision between his eternally-damned mother and the Kingdom of Heaven.
Through all this arguing DAVID has tried to escape, seeing numerous sinners. A conjoined couple, both coyotes stop him.
Bob and Melissa Evans: (in unison) We were bound to each other! And we are here to torture those who think they are above the law!
PFM : I see you've found Ned's first victims. He is here for his gluttony and her sloth worte her a tocket to Hell! The only thing stopping me from raping them both is the fact that sometimes this hermaphrodite pair rapes each other just to protect themselves from me.
FF: I wish you would stop, Fizzle! They're sinners but they deserve a second chance. And David isn't actually dead yet.
DJ: I'm only having a nightmare and it will soon end.
An angel appears nearby, a fox in a white robe. Around his neck is a golden cross with the words "INRI" across the top. He is Father Domingo Cruz and the sinners reach for him.
Domingo Cruz: (faces the Damned) I am not going to save you! Only the Lord God can do that and it is too late. You have only yourselves to blame for your lives of sin. But I have come for the one who is having a nightmare, the one here for no apparent reason to take him back to the surface world. Back to his home in Rhode Island. As for you Fizzle, I gave you the opportunity to repent on earth and you never took it.
Cruz grabs David by the arm and takes him back. The caldera of hell becomes a gradually-shrinking red dot in David Jenkins' eyes as the man of God pulls him back to the surface world and his soul returns to his body. He wakes up feeling relaxed, relieved and just thankful to be alive after yet another harrowing trip to Hell.