FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Hey everybody! First off, I know it's been forever since I posted last. I've been either out of the country or working my ass off at the fish store, so I haven't really had much time to write. But I finally got started with a new series. After way too long a wait, here is the first part of "Tales of an Injured Soul". It's long, I know, but introductions always are;)

Of course, the following contains explicit material involving two males. So, if you didn't come here for hawt and steamy guy-on-guy action, just back away slowly. Otherwise...

Enjoy!

* * *

It was hot.

Summer had hit in full force in the city, and the sun's relentless rays beat down like an oppressive rain of fiery heat. The air swelled with pent-up humidity, and to walk outside was akin to walking into a half-heated oven. Sweat was useless here, for all it did was bead up on the skin and lend its own layer of stickiness to everything that moved. Breaths were slow and measured now, desperate attempts to ignore the scathing air rushing into battered lungs.

The occupants of the city were doing all they could to stay cool. The lucky ones took shelter in air conditioned cars and homes, while the less fortunate furs huddled together under shade and in public pools, smiling at the forced community of the insidious heat. All movement seemed to cease at times, and the city stood perversely frozen in the scorching warmth of the early afternoon.

In the corner of the baking park, a group of children - seemingly immune to the discomfort of the muggy air - frolicked happily in a fountain. Their squeals and shouts of happiness echoed across the empty green, bringing to the mind of all who heard warm memories of their childhood, a time when all that mattered was to play and have fun; such a concept as "too hot" was blessedly foreign then. But childhood must eventually yield way to the rigors of adult life, and such blind mirth must go by the wayside. It had been replaced by a love of order, stability, and most importantly, cool air.

The pool was another source of relief, and furs of all species had flocked to the lukewarm blue waters. By now, the basin was a swirling soup of even more happily squealing children, stewing in the overly-chlorinated water as their parents looked on with half-hearted smiles. All of them wanted nothing more than to escape back to the artificially cooled bliss of house and home. There, at least, they could relax and take joy in the multitudinous small pleasures of summer.

It was almost a cruel irony that the frigid places of work had become semi-paradises. Complaints, whether serious or half-joking, of having to come into work seemed to drop mysteriously in the summer. The rigors of a career seemed a small price to pay for eight hours in sweet, sixty-five degree relief, and it was in the middle of the hot July that job-bound furs would glance out the window and smile, glad that they had managed to finally escape the unforgiving sun.

And yet somehow, the fox had managed to find himself avoiding all of these avenues of relief. Instead, he walked slowly along the city streets, sweat building in unpleasant pools on his tight shirt and adding a new layer of dismay to his walking. His footsteps were calm and even, belying the sickening squish heard every time his sweat-soaked jeans (who wears jeans in the summer?!) chafed together. The slight frame seemed to move with deliberate sadness, and the small fox's eyes were downcast as his feet tread unknown and unplanned paths.

He didn't particularly care where he was going; any place was better than the wretched place he had once called home. He couldn't be there, not now, when he felt as if the earth were reeling and lurching beneath his slowly plodding paws. The familiar places of the world seemed to him morbid monuments to a life left and forgotten. He could not enter them, or even look at them, without thinking of...him. And such thoughts were always followed by tears, shouts of pain, and breathless pleas for a return to an existence riddled once more with happiness.

Even the fox's name seemed now a caricature, twisted and distorted by so many years spoken with love and affection...a love and affection that would never warm his days again. Tears threatened to wet his eyes at the thoughts, but he simply sighed and pushed them away. Enough hours had been spent curled in a crying ball of fur, and his eyes had run dry long ago. Every forlorn step took him farther away from the life he had known; each one was a careful move towards forgetting, forgiving, and a new life.

Though he had started to think that there couldn't be a new life after this...

* * *

A flashing smile...the familiar twinkle of his eyes. Loving words spoken with a passion that hid a despairing heart.

The thoughts brought a warm smile to the fox's face, but it was short-lived. The images were soon followed by the crashing fall, the morbid realization that such memories could never again be full-bodied...no more would he see himself reflected in those pale blue eyes. His name would never haunt those lips again.

He sighed, trying as hard as he could to push those thoughts from his head; there was nothing to be gained from dwelling on the past. Yet despite this, his heart drifted ever back to the lost life he could have had; he could no longer see a future, now. What part of him had been capable of happiness was gone, replaced only with a void of feeling.

But the world went on, oblivious to the heartache of the lonely fox, and happily ignorant of his own despairing heart. Sure, his friends and what family he still had had taken a pause, offered their consolation, tried in their own little ways to assuage his grief. But none of it had amounted to anything...the period of proper mourning had come and gone, then daily life resumed for all those still ensconced in their happy worlds.

And then he had begun to wander. Every day brought new adventures as his blind feet took him to sights never before seen, places untouched by the ghosts of his past. Only then did he find solace; not happiness, mind you, but a blessed relief from the ever-present sorrow. New faces greeted him wherever he went, each holding their own story within the furrowed lines of age and worry. When he returned home at the end of the long days, he hoped to carry with him some of their innocence, to bring once more into the lonely place the spark of unending life. Though they didn't know it, these strangers' kind words and polite smiles gave renewed energy to the fox, for they reminded him that there was still joy to be found in the world.

He just didn't seem able to create it on his own. But that was changing ever so slowly...life was seeping back into his limbs, a smile broke across his face, and sometimes - rarely - he laughed. But the moments soon died, drifting off into the abyss of his blackened heart.

But they were still there...like fireflies in the night.

* * *

Despite himself, the fox gasped when he walked into the cool air of the coffee shop. His numb body had entirely ignored the bitter heat, and the coldness caught him by surprise. It was a lucky thing, too, for it forced him to breathe deep, absorbing the rich aromas of a hundred coffees simmering together in the small store. He closed his eyes at the scent, letting the earthy smells tease his nostrils and force a small smile onto his beleaguered face.

"Hey there, foxy," the cashier called out. The greeting caught him by surprise, and he looked back with numb eyes for a second before his mind snapped back to reality. The small vixen was smiling at him, holding her body against the counter only as she did for the usual customers. The fox had noticed that by now, after the countless hours he spent in this place.

He had discovered the small shop shortly after his wanderings started, and had since developed a strange affinity for the place. He could sit here for hours, watching the customers come and go, and he seemed to live most when he did so as a small part of their busy world. You could call it people watching, but that wasn't quite what it was. Every smile exchanged - every sociable word spoken - was an affirmation of his existence. Without them, he threatened to drift away, to dissolve into nothing more than the husk of a shattered fox.

And the coffee wasn't bad, either.

Of course, the fox wasn't the only fur who had discovered the strange allure of the shop. The small, circular tables were almost always full of the little store's customers, though they usually spent more time casually watching each other than they did drinking coffee or eating the small, overpriced baked goods for sale below the counter. The patrons shared an understanding with one another, and although small talk was plentiful, the conversations rarely descended beyond the superficial platitudes shared by mutual acquaintances.

And thus no one knew the pain that shrouded the fox's heart, though they had long ago guessed it had its genesis in a lost love. They shared this bond, among many others: they had all at one time felt the crushing loss of being once more alone. And so they came here, to silently share in the unspoken bonds of friendship and a common existence.

"Hey," he replied distantly to the greeting, his eyes drifting uselessly to the menu. He always drank the same thing, and his momentary pause had long ago become nothing more than a chance to refocus his attention. "How's it going?" He asked casually, not entirely paying attention to the response.

"Well," she replied energetically, obviously eager to share her latest news, "I managed to wing some time off the other day, and you would not believe the time I had! I hooked up with the cutest little otter, and..."

"That's nice," the fox interrupted. His heart couldn't take talk of "hooking up" or love...not now, not so soon. "I'm sure it was great...I think I'll have the cappuccino this time."

She looked back with a smile, but he could see lingering pain behind her eyes. She, like everyone else here, was starved for attention, and it destroyed a little part of her every time she became nothing more than an avenue for a fur's caffeine high.

"Sparky, you get the same thing every time you come in here..." she chuckled, her use of the nickname earning a reproachful look from the fox. "And don't give me that look! Sparky's a great name for you," she added defensively, still slightly insecure in her casual relationship with the other fur, "and so much better than boring old 'Zack.'"

A frown played across Zack's face, though it was only half-serious.

"I happen to like my name very much, thank you," he retorted. "It's...dignified. Not like 'Raya,'" he shot back with a mischievous grin.

She chortled as she began to mix the vulpine's coffee. "Raya is a beautiful name, like me," she answered with a beaming smile. "Besides," she continued, "you don't need a 'dignified name,' you need a fun one! Like Sparky." Her mouth was wide in a toothy grin, and it was clear that there was no arguing with her on the point.

"I guess," Zack sighed, rolling his eyes at her energy, "but you have to admit I'm not the 'sparky' type."

"Pshhh," Raya scoffed, leaning over the counter to hand the fox his coffee. "You just haven't met the right guy. I can guarantee that will make you Sparky." Her eyes twinkled as she spoke. "And speaking of which," she added as she leaned in close, "that new wolf hasn't taken his eyes off you since he started coming here."

The smile faded entirely from the vulpine's face as he took the coffee and paid. His voice was ice cold when he spoke again, and his lips quivered faintly.

"Don't joke about that. You know not to joke about that."

The vixen's smile was unaffected by Zack's scowl, and she bounced lightly on the balls of her feet as she worked the register quickly.

"Who said I'm joking?" she said quietly, guarding her voice so that the other furs wouldn't be able to hear their conversation. "You need something to distract you, Sparky...drinking all this coffee is only gonna make you hyper."

The iciness remained plastered on the fox's face, and he simply looked back with deathly-blank eyes.

"Don't trouble me with love," he replied venomously, taking his coffee and pocketing his receipt. "I don't think I can love again."

"Oh, Sparky," she reproached him playfully, "you know everyone says that after they lose..."

"Do not," he replied with sudden anger, "finish that sentence! You have no idea what..." He caught himself, reining in his anger. It was not Raya's fault that she couldn't feel or understand his pain. "I'm sorry, but you just can't understand."

The vixen had seemed to shrink beneath his angry eyes, and she could only mutter a meek apology as Zack turned and stalked to his usual chair. His angry eyes fell briefly upon the other patrons as he walked, and they turned away beneath the hot fire of his gaze. They had always known that they looked upon an injured fur, but they had yet to decipher the hidden meanings of his sporadic outbursts. Instead, their eyes held pity when he wasn't looking, sorrow for the tortured life that could produce such anger.

Among these pitying eyes was a pair owned by an otherwise unremarkable wolf. He spent his days curled up with a book or computer in the corner, slowly sipping at his weakly mixed drink and watching the other customers. His screen, however, was usually blank, and many of his fellow coffee addicts had already noticed that he always seemed to be on the same page when he read. The most astute ones had also noticed that his gaze always had the same target; day in and day out his eyes drifted over to the sullen fox, darting away only when Zack's orbs threatened to meet the stare.

No one knew much about the timber wolf, as was the case for many of the animals in this place. When he spoke, his words were happy and cheerful, and he was usually quick to offer a friendly smile or helpful advice. But beyond that, he stayed silent, barely even chortling at Raya's usual wisecracks or the bustling affairs of harried patrons. He was an enigma, just like everyone else.

The wolf had started coming here a couple of weeks ago, chancing upon the store by accident as he searched for some place that was willing to let him run in for the bathroom only. But that had been a fateful restroom break, for he had soon become enamored with the small coffee shop. He had sensed - as soon as the pressure in his bladder was relieved - that he had chanced upon a safe haven, a harbor for storm-ridden souls. It had not taken long for him to take his own small place in the informal community, and once he had, his attention had very quickly become fixed on the tortured figure of Zack.

But, like all too many furs, the wolf had been content to sit and wait. His heart strove to take the chance, to gamble everything for just one more taste of passion. But his conscious mind would not let him; he hid behind the safety of familiar life, empty as it might seem. Every day brought him closer to approaching the fox, and he now knew every curve on his body, the way his brows furled in frustration when the coffee was too hot. His eyes had long ago noted the supple body rippling under the barely-concealing clothes, lithe grace which propelled his small body with nimble agility through the crowded tables. He had yet to speak more than a casual greeting to him, but the wolf was already and inexorably falling in love with the wounded fox.

But maybe today would be the day. His heart was pounding in his chest, and it leapt to his throat every time their gazes met. This life of cowardice was leading nowhere...he had to take a chance.

Zack sighed when he took his seat, and it seemed the weight of a thousand worlds was carried on that single exhalation. He knew it was unfair to hold these other furs responsible for his pain, ignorant as they were of his source. But sometimes it seemed that their attempts to help only made things worse, for they reminded him that he was, in fact, in pain. If only he could muster the courage to tell them, maybe then they would finally comprehend the torture destroying his life. But how could he? Even the barest mention of love, happiness, and passion brought new tears to his face.

Even now, he could once more see the face that was torn from him, could see the blue eyes staring affectionately into his. Those same blue eyes now haunted him, hiding a pain that he should have seen - could have seen - but ignored. The smiling mouth, the tongue hanging lustfully from the parted lips...they were as vivid in front of him now as they had been when he had given himself up to the other canine. A tear escaped his weary eyes, and the bitter sensation as it swept down his cheek snapped him back to reality. He sniffled, wiping the offending drop away and turning in embarrassment from the rest of the cafe. He had earned enough pitiful stares as it was.

"You know, it's not good to hold it all in," a voice said from behind the quietly sniffling fox, catching him entirely by surprise. Zack turned with a sound of confusion, his eyes searching briefly for the source of the warmly comforting sound. Much to his shock, the wolf now sat at the fox's own table, smiling warmly yet with concern in his amber eyes.

"Trust me," he continued, reaching a comforting paw in Zack's direction, "I've been there...we all have. You just need to let it all out at once, and it will be done." He was smiling widely, confident that he held the sudden solution to all of the vulpine's problems.

He had no idea what he was getting into.

With a weak snarl, Zack pulled his paw away from the wolf's, a look of utter indignation flashing across his face. The tears dried up immediately, replaced by a furious look of frustration.

My God, why can't they get it?!

"You think you've 'been here?'" the fox asked angrily, his eyes narrowing down to incredulous slits. "You think you understand what I've been through?! You have no idea...get the hell away from me!"

The wolf backed up at the heated words, not entirely sure how to respond. No fur had ever reacted that way to his consolation, and his ears pressed tightly against his head in resignation. He opened his mouth to respond, but he never got the chance.

"Don't even say anything," Zack demanded, and his tone precluded any argument. "Don't try to cheer me up. You have no idea what I'm going through."

With those words, the fox got up and stormed angrily towards the door. He threw an irritated glance at Raya, who simply stared back helplessly. He sighed and shook his head, letting the door slam behind him as he flew out of the small shop. He would have to find his haven elsewhere.

The wolf had risen from his chair to follow after him, but Raya manage to catch the lupine at the door.

"Let him go, puppy," she said sternly, slowly shaking her head. She knew the wolf had meant well, but anyone could have predicted it would end this way. "Just let him go, Ryan."

The wolf looked back with concern, his eyes drooping in sad resignation. It barely occurred to him that this was the first time Raya had ever used his name; she only did so in moments of utmost significance, so he slipped quietly out of her grasp and leaned on the counter instead.

"He needs help, Raya," he said pleadingly, almost asking her permission to go after him.

"Puppy, we all need help," she replied gently. "He'll get his when he's ready to have it. We've all been through that, and we're all still here, aren't we?" a twinkling smile followed the question, as if it could reassure Ryan's nervous heart.

"No...we haven't" he answered her with a deadpan voice. "This is no normal emotion, Raya. He's lost someone."

She looked back as if to scold him for implying she was dense. "Ryan, we've all lost someone. You heal...he'll heal."

The wolf answered with an urgent shake of the head. He finally had an idea what was hounding the fox's happiness, and he knew that it was something that needed help...now.

"No...he's lost someone. We're not talking about a broken heart from which you can move on after a little while." Ryan sighed, knowing all too well what had to be going through the fox's mind. "I've seen this before...this is the pain of death."

His words were followed by a solemn silence as Raya processed what he had said. Her brow furrowed slowly into a confused frown, and her weight settled slowly onto the counter. She was young, too young to have felt the crushing pain of a lover's departure; she was imaginative, however, and she could imagine all too well how it must feel. Her heart sank in newfound empathy for the other vulpine, distant as it may be coming from such an unscarred soul.

"I'm a counseler, Raya...I used to do this for a living. I'm going after him, because that's what he needs."

The vixen thrust out her lower lip in defiance, still not convinced of the wisdom of Ryan's actions.

"He doesn't want help...I should think that was obvious by now," she spoke with unconscious naivete; she was still inexperienced in the ways of the world.

"Yes he does," Ryan replied confidently, moving slowly away from the counter and towards the door. "He screams it in his actions, and in his words. He wants someone to understand how he feels...nothing more."

The bells jingled as he walked quickly out of the door, purpose driven steps driving his paws into the floor with loud clicks.

"He needs someone to come after him."

* * *

Tears were streaming down Zack's face as he walked the familiar paths in the park. The sun bore down upon him like a torch, but he ignored it as best he could. The sweat mingled with his tears, both of them dripping off his face in a salty, mournful stream. Thus, few of the furs he passed even saw his despair; none of them could see past his dripping eyes and into the voided space within.

His feet fell with forlorn solemnity as they carried him unwillingly to that terrible place. His head was hung low, and his arms hung limp at his side. In a distant part of his mind, he knew exactly where he was going, though he had stopped ordering his legs long ago. His body ached now, slowly being crushed under the weight of his undying sadness; he needed nothing now more than one of those fleeting moments of happiness. Instead, his feet bore him slowly towards the one place he didn't want to go.

In a distant part of his mind, he felt a twinge of sorrow for the angry words he had exchanged with the wolf at the coffee shop. The lupine had meant well, no doubt, but the fox just couldn't bear to listen to more empty words of consolation. The wolf undoubtedly looked upon him as a potential source of affection, but Zack couldn't allow that so soon. His heart still belonged to another, though that particular debt could no longer be returned. In a different life, perhaps, he might have been open to the wolf's advances...but that life was gone.

At least, that's how it seemed.

He stopped when he rounded the corner, looking towards the bridge with a sinking feeling in his heart. For a moment, the tears dried up, and all feeling slowly left his body as he plodded mournfully onwards. The river could be heard bubbling and gurgling gently, so blissfully ignorant of the pain and suffering it had caused against its will. In another life, the sound would be pleasing, even romantic. But to Zack, it represented all that he had once possessed; it was the sound of his old life slowly drowning in tears.

He caressed the cold stone gently as he reached the aging structure. It felt so cool, so unlike the burning heat around him. It almost beckoned to him, calling him onwards to the bridge's arching heights. His feet answered, and new tears formed salty pools beneath his eyes. He paused when he reached the top, looking down into the cool waters beneath. The mist hid the treacherous rocks, upon which his happiness had been dashed...in this light, they almost looked beautiful.

But there was nothing happy or beautiful about this place...not for him.

"Why?" he asked the blue waters, not expecting an answer. Tears gathered at the end of his muzzle, and he sniffled pathetically to try and clear his nose.

"Why didn't you tell me, honey? We could have fixed things. I could have helped you." His vision started to go blurry as the sobs threatened to paralyze him once more. So much for his dry eyes...

"I should have seen it...I should have known you were hiding something from me. You were all I had, babe."

He turned away, shutting his eyes tightly against the light of the day and trying to ignore the sound of the river. He had come here to feel close once more, but these worldly things were an unwanted intrusion.

"I need you still...I thought you loved me enough to know that."

He returned his gaze once more to the waters, and for a second, the mists cleared. A wind blew over him, gently ruffling his fur and fighting away the oppressive heat. For a moment, he smiled, but it was a deathly smile...he had no more strength left for the fight. It was ending.

"I'm dying without you, Michael."

* * *

Ryan was panting as he rounded the corner, silently praying to himself that he wasn't too late. He had seen the look upon the fox's face, a look he had seen all too often on the visages of his patients. A fur's happiness was not the only thing to hang in the balance right now...Zack needed a guardian angel, even if he didn't know it yet.

The wolf's heart leapt for joy when his eyes fell upon the battered figure atop the bridge, and he paused for a moment to collect himself. He doubled over in exhaustion, placing his hands atop his knees but never taking his gaze away from the other fur. He had left that job as a counselor long ago, but he hoped against hope that he still had the nerve to give strength to the wretched fox.

Once he had gathered his breath, he began to walk towards Zack with slow, measured steps. A smile slowly snuck across his face as the whimpers and sniffles fell upon his ears. It was no secret among the coffee addicts that Ryan had long ago fallen for the fox, and now, at Zack's uttermost moment of need, the wolf could almost feel his heart itself reaching out to him.

"It always hurts...I'm not going to lie to you," Ryan said once he had moved close enough. The fox jumped at the words, turning around with lightning speed to locate the voice. Tears flew as he did, and his wet eyes took a moment to focus. Once they had, his expression of shock turned to one of grudging recognition. But there was not anger on his face; the words Ryan spoke had touched something in the fox. For once, someone had told him the truth.

"What do you know of it?" Zack asked irritably, not even bothering to ask what the wolf was even doing there in the first place. He didn't really care, and he had to admit that the sight of the wolf standing there, so helpless yet so confident, incited feelings that he had never expected. The void within him seemed oddly smaller.

Someone had come after him.

"I know more than you might think," the lupine answered calmly, letting a gentle smile split his lips slightly. "It always hurts to lose someone...especially when you lose them to, well, themselves."

The fox reeled back at the words. He knew! Yet he had hardly even spoken a word to him, let alone of his tragic past.

"How the hell do you know that?" The question was not angry...anger had left and been replaced by curiosity. This was an enigmatic fur facing him, seemingly able to read the minds of others.

The wolf's smile broadened, but it was a smile intended to comfort. "It's clear as day, to those who know where to look. You've been screaming for help since the day I set eyes upon you." He sighed, but it was a neutral sound, lacking any of the frustration or anger usually held by such breaths. He had learned long ago how to speak effectively without words. "This pain will never truly go away..." His eyes made contact with the fox's, and their hearts met at that moment, companions against the onslaught of life. "But you don't have to go it alone."

They stood facing each other for a few moments, silence hanging in the air between them. Zack's lips quivered visibly, and his heart and mind struggled to decide how to react. He had not expected this; hope had come once more unlooked-for. Ryan, for his part, simply smiled back at him. He could tell from the softening expression and trembling lips that his words had found their mark.

Suddenly, and with a heart-rending cry, Zack threw himself at the wolf, wrapping his arms around the larger figure and burying his head in his chest. Ryan hadn't entirely expected this reaction, but the surprise flashed only for a moment on his face. Instead, he wrapped his arms around the sobbing fox, holding him in the tight embrace he knew the smaller animal needed. Years of experience had taught this much, at least.

"It hurts so much!" Zack wailed, all walls of his defense crumbling in the heat of the comforting embrace. Ryan could feel the wet tears through his shirt, and the warm body pressing against his only added to the terrible heat. "Why won't it ever stop?!" He didn't really care if anyone saw his display now. Weeks...months of hiding his suffering had torn his soul to pieces, and he no longer had the energy to cower behind his dwindling strength of character.

"Shhh," Ryan quietly comforted the sobbing fox, rubbing his back encouragingly. He knew that the vulpine was at his most vulnerable now, and that the park was likely not the best place for him to spill his long-pent-up emotions. With gentle strength, he started to lead the shaking body away from the bridge, sensing that it was here that the great hammer blow had fallen.

As they walked, Zack kept an arm wrapped around Ryan for support, letting his weight lean on the larger animal's frame. The wolf kept the pace mercifully slow, keeping his own arm snug around the fox's torso. Affection was palpable in their embrace, but it was now only the affection shared by two animals comforting each other in times of pain. But Ryan knew he was skirting dangerous territory...his feelings for the fox could easily erupt into an emotional whirlpool for both of them. He pushed the thought aside, though...there were more important matters at hand.

"Ooh, little fox," the lupine spoke softly, never letting the confidence escape from his voice. "The last thing you need is to be alone right now. Whadaya say we head back to my place for a little coffee? You look like you could use a little warmth right now."

Zack replied only with a slow nod. He had finally found someone who understood.

* * *

Zack sighed as he sipped the steaming hot coffee Ryan had poured for him. Its warmth seeped slowly into his body, which sat curled over on the wolf's couch. The walk and ride here had been mostly silent, punctuated only by sniffles and sobs from the fox. Ryan's face had held the warm smile the entire time; he knew all too well that the fox needed to see such comfort. If he was surrounded by happiness, he would eventually feel happy himself.

"How did you find me?" Zack finally asked once his sobs had passed and his body calmed.

The wolf chuckled at the question. He knew it wouldn't be long until it came.

"Some instinct told me where to look. Raya told me you liked the park, and my mind just put two and two together." His eyes twinkled as he spoke. "I used to be a counselor, and something told me that you needed someone to come after you. Even if you didn't want it..."

Zack laughed dryly in response. "Used to be a counselor? You seem to be pretty good at it, for someone who quit."

For the first time, the smile on Ryan's face evaporated. It had been a long time since he discussed his old job, or his decision to leave it.

"I, uh...I just couldn't take it anymore. I love helping people," he added quickly, "but um...the ones I couldn't help...they...they...it was too much."

It was clear from the hesitation in his voice that the question awakened unpleasant memories, but the fox didn't particularly want to hear them. There was enough pain in the room; the air hung thick with it, and the fox wanted all the attention to be his right now. Thankfully, it didn't appear that Ryan wanted to continue. That was a story for another time.

"So," the wolf changed the subject of the conversation as he sat next to the aching fox, "what's on your mind?" He sat a comfortable distance away, but close enough that the vulpine would still be able to lean on him for support, if need be.

Zack was slow in responding. He opened his mouth a few times to speak, but evidently changed his mind before words could be uttered. There was so much he wanted to say, but he had apparently lost his ability to form coherent thoughts. Instead, he continued to sip his coffee, letting the warmth ease away his pain for now.

The fox's eyes flicked to the wolf's body a few times as he waited, and it struck him with a flash that he was quickly growing attached to his unasked-for savior. His mind began to notice things he had never seen before. The wolf's body was strong, that much he had figured out, but he was just now noticing how well-toned and balanced he was, even beneath concealing clothes. His face positively glowed with friendly concern, and his amber eyes held a depth which threatened to draw the fox in with unnerving speed. He reminded him of Michael; indeed, this strange new wolf could almost be a doppelganger for his old lover.

The thought, when it came, terrified him; he couldn't have feelings for another fur! Could he? He had to admit that the wolf was an attractive one, and he was the first animal to show him any real compassion since...well, since Michael. And it had often gone unnoticed, but Zack had stolen glances at Ryan from time to time. His heart was torn...normally, he wouldn't even have questions about the emotions seeping into his heart.

But were they true?

As he sipped his own drink, the wolf noticed a strange change coming over the fox. He had noticed the glances coming his way, and with a start he recognized the longing in the smaller fur's eyes. This couldn't be happening, he told himself, not with someone who was still so vulnerable from pain! But he couldn't deny his feelings for the fox, however inappropriate they may be for the moment at hand.

"Is..." Zack finally spoke after far too long a silence. "Is it ever possible for me to love again?"

Ryan leaned back against the couch at the question. In his career, this had always been the hardest one to answer, but he knew in his heart what had to be true.

"Yes, you can," he said simply, his heart racing as it guessed at where this conversation might be going, "and I can tell you from...experience...that it will come when you least expect it."

"But I always feel so numb!" Zack countered. Part of him wanted to love again already, but another part refused to believe that anyone other than Michael could ever hold his affections. "I hardly ever feel anything!"

"But what do you feel when you do?"

The question caught the fox by surprise. He'd never even considered it, and his answer was slow in coming. The silence of his hesitation hung thick in the air, and both furs knew then and there what was happening. But neither was going to admit it, not yet.

"I...I feel...happy...sometimes. Like, an ember trying to reignite after a rain."

"That's oddly poetic," Ryan said with a hint of wonder in his voice. There was no denying how he felt towards the fox, even if his mind screamed that such feelings were wrong at a time like this.

Silence one more descended on the room. Ryan scooted closer, his heart begging for the affection of the fox, even if he wouldn't admit it. Much to the his surprise, the fox responded with a scoot of his own, leaning unexpectedly into the wolf's arms. Ryan's heart skipped a beat at the action...was this actually happening?!

"You know," Zack said quietly, his voice pensive and thoughtful, "I owe you a 'thank you.' You have no idea how close I came to...to losing it."

Ryan smiled, ruffling the little fox's headfur and watching the other for his reaction. Much to his surprise, Zack pushed up at the hand, a silent signal to continue.

"I couldn't just let you sit there and suffer. I...I've grown...um..." How the hell was he supposed to say this? "I've grown rather fond of you, Zack," he finally said quickly, bracing himself for the other's reaction.

A long pause followed, and the vulpine looked up at the wolf with slight confusion and shock in his eyes. For a bare moment, he felt a stirring in his heart, one he had not felt in ages. There was still a fire burning in his soul, and simply looking at the wolf fanned the long-dormant flames. Perhaps, he thought to himself with a smile, he could still feel love after all this time.

But not yet.

"You saved my life up there," Zack sighed as he rested his head once more on Ryan's shoulder. "You're the first fur to really show me kindness and understanding. I don't know what I would have done without that."

The wolf merely smiled, letting the fox cuddle close to him without fear of insecurity or the travails of life. He looked so cute, curling up against the cold, unfeeling world, so vulnerable now that his strength was gone. With gentle motions, he leaned forward, and kissed the top of the vulpine's head with tender affection. Zack stirred at the act, but sleep was already descending on him with inexorable speed. Calm descended upon the room, and both furs were soon nodding off into the dark world of dreams.

* * *

Ryan yawned, and it took him a few seconds to realize where he was and who sat upon his lap. He started a little bit when he saw the fox looking up at him, his mind taking a moment to relive the events that had led to the fur curling up in his arms. All was forgotten, however, when he saw the look of pure, animalistic lust written on the fox's face.

"Zack?"

With a sudden leap, the fox reached his arms around the wolf's neck and pulled his lips hard into his. Ryan's eyes went wide at the surprising turn of events, but his eyes soon closed as he returned the kiss. He let his defenses melt into the sudden passion, and he moaned appreciatively into the embrace. Zack made a strange noise in return, a mix between a moan and a sigh. Their tongues licked at each other's muzzles, begging for entry and itching to explore new and unknown territory. They were panting when they pulled apart, previous concern slowly evaporating into passion.

"Maybe," Zack panted, still struggling to sort out all that was happening, "fate meant for this to happen."

They sat there for one more moment, panting and sweating in the heat of the moment. Lust was written clearly on their faces, even if their minds had not yet settled their deeper emotions. A tingling feeling had snuck into Ryan's crotch at the sight of the fox, panting and sweating on his couch.

"You don't have to be on your own anymore," the wolf said gently, pulling the fox into another kiss. This time, Zack moaned loudly, letting his paws rove wildly over the lupine's back. Ryan responded by sneaking his own paws under the fox's shirt, digging deep furrows as his tongue licked roughly at the inside of the vulpine's mouth. Zack responded by pushing even more tightly against the wolf, pressing his chest firmly into the other fur's. He growled lustfully, the sound catching him by surprise.

"God," Zack breathed when they parted once more. "I had no idea how much I needed this. I didn't think it would feel so...right."

The wolf responded by pushing him slowly onto his back, resting his strong paws on the fox's shoulders. The submissive fox didn't struggle; he simply pulled his ears back into his head and whimpered. The sound drove Ryan crazy, igniting his long-dormant dominant streak, and he had to restrain himself as his heart began to pound wildly.

"No one should have to be alone," he said as their eyes met once more. Trust was all that could be seen on Zack's eyes as he looked up from the couch, and Ryan leaned gently over him, still holding the vulpine pinned. "But I do not take what isn't given."

The fox responded by pushing his muzzle up once more into the wolf's, moaning as their tongues intertwined once more. The wolf never released his grip, though he returned the kiss passionately, moaning and licking wildly at the fox's maw and face. Both furs relished the dominance, secure that they had once more found their place in the world.

"You saved my life on that bridge," Zack panted, saliva dripping from their muzzles when he dropped his head back to the pillow, "I belong to you."

Ryan growled pleasurably at the statement, slowly returning himself to an upright position. He could feel his member struggling against his boxers, awakened now by the unexpected passion. He could smell a familiar scent in the air: the musk of arousal. The fox looked up at him with expectation on his face, his tail wagging beneath the wolf. All the hesitation was gone, now, melted into primal lust and the need to be taken once more.

With another growl, Ryan stripped his shirt away quickly, exposing his toned torso, rippling beneath slate-grey fur. The fox murred in approval, running his newly freed paws through the fur and earning throaty moans from the wolf. The sound only encouraged the fox, and he tightened his grip to trace deep lines across Ryan's chest. He clawed at the larger animal with unhindered fervor, urging him onwards with primal fury.

The wolf responded with another growl, and he nearly tore Zack's shirt to pieces as he started undressing the red fox. Once the troublesome garment was out of the way, he ran his own claws through the white fur, earning a whimpering yip from the fur beneath him. With a smile, he leaned down and licked roughly from Zack's belly and toward his neck. He paused to mouth the fox's nipples, an action which elicited a wild moan of pleasure; his muzzle then continued upwards, stopping only when it had reached the fox's neck. With gentle force, Ryan closed his jaws, making the submissive canine moan and squirm in long-forgotten delight. The wolf's paws returned once more to the fox's shoulders, claws digging into the fur as he pushed him down roughly once more.

The scent of their arousal was now filling the room, and both furs were going wild in its presence. Zack could feel his own erection pressing hard against Ryan's, and he ground his hips hard against the wolf's, murring in expectation. The motion sent a shiver down the wolf's back, and his claws dug into the fox's hide, earning a happy yip. Neither animal had felt so alive in ages, and there was no longer any doubt about their course of action.

"Take me," Zack said suddenly, with force in his voice and hunger in his eyes. He ground his member once more against Ryan, leaving no doubt as to the fox's intentions. The wolf responded by shifting the fox's neck in his grasp, establishing beyond all question his dominance. There was only one thing left.

"You're sure?" he asked as he suddenly released the vulpine, leaving a trail of saliva tracing from his maw to Zack's neck.

The fox responded with a pitiful whimper, sending another wave of euphoric desire across Ryan's body.

"I haven't been this sure in months. Make me yours."

Ryan only nodded, putting his animalistic drive on hold just long enough to snake off their pants and boxers. He moaned at the feeling as his cock bounced free of the fabric, and Zack groaned at the feeling of the wolf's rough paw pads on his starving foxhood. Pre had slickened both members by now, and they shook with every beat of their aching hearts. The wolf looked down with longing at the now-naked fox, and a drip of pre spurted from his tip as he gazed at the panting, whimpering body.

With a happy murr, Ryan leaned down and ran his tongue slowly form the fox's base to his tip, running his canines along the entire length and making the fox squirm in agonizing delight. "Gawd" the fox breathed, reaching his hands down to speed the wolf along. With a growl, the lupine grabbed the smaller paws and holding them once more against the couch, pinning the fox entirely as he continued to minister to the rock-hard erection. His tongue became even lighter, barely even making contact with the fox.

"Ungh...oh...gawd," the fox panted, driven to the edge by his utter helplessness as the wolf blew him slowly. He could feel his balls tightening against his body, and his hips bucked uncontrollably into the wolf's mouth. Much to Zack's frustration, though, Ryan lightened his touch even more, teasing the trembling member and earning a frustrated growl from the fox writhing on the couch. The vulpine's legs moved wildly behind the wolf, twitching in time with the lupine's tongue.

Ryan smiled at the fox, teasing his cock now with the end of his muzzle. A spurt of pre shot forth as Zack moaned, coating the wolf's muzzle with the sticky substance. He licked at it with a growl, finally releasing one of the fox's paws...he had use for this hand elsewhere. He licked one finger quickly before licking once more at the fox's shaft. Zack pressed the freed hand hard against the couch, the sensation from Ryan's tongue paralyzing his body and blinding his vision.

With another lick, the wolf snuck his finger around the fox's body, slipping it without warning into the fox's tight tailhole. The vulpine's back arched at the unexpected feeling, and his eyes rolled back in their sockets. It had been too long since he had been penetrated, and his body was entirely consumed by the pleasure. Without delay, the wolf began to pump the fox's ass in time with his licks, each movement eliciting a whimpering moan from the smaller animal.

"Please...finish..." was all that Zack could pant, the final word devolving into a throaty growl. The wolf responded by taking the entire foxhood into his muzzle, growling deeply at the back of his throat. The extra sensation was all the fox needed, and with a screaming moan, his shaft spasmed, coating the inside of Ryan's mouth with hot cum. His body shook violently as he bucked into the eager maw, and his hands clenched into tight fists as his orgasm washed over him. A second, third, and even fourth string of sticky fox seed invaded the lupine's mouth, eventually dripping from the corners of his smile. The fox panted as his cock continued to shake; his vision had gone entirely white, and his despair was entirely forgotten.

While Zack lay writhing on the cough, Ryan took the chance to reposition himself, pressing his dripping cock against the now-loosened asshole. The fox had enough feeling to register the impending penetration, and he pressed against the erection with a pleading whimper.

"Take...me," he panted, and that was all the encouragement Ryan needed. With a growl, he pressed down and into the fox's trembling body, moaning as the tight hole clamped down on his quivering erection. Zack's head pressed into the pillow, and he moaned in ecstacy as he felt the lupine's member pressing into him. He crossed his legs behind the wolf, pulling him ever deeper into his body with unspoken urgency. His back was arched to its breaking point, and his tongue lolled out of the side of his mouth as the wolf's hot shaft slowly filled him.

"Oooooh, gawd yes....make...me...your bitch." He panted as the familiar feeling of fullness returned to his body. Ryan had soon hilted in the fox, and he paused to let both of their bodies acclimate to the new sensations. Zack moaned and writhed beneath him, pulling the wolf as deep as he could with his legs. With a shuddering moan, Ryan pulled back out slowly, eliciting a squealing whimper from the fox as his cock twitched within him. He thrust back in quickly, and both furs moaned in unison.

The wolf's thrusts had soon settled into a rhythm, accented by staccato yips from Zack as he let his insecurity melt into the dominant wolf filling him. Every yip was met with a lusty growl, and both animals shuddered wildly as the knot began to form and slam against the tailhole. The fox's body was quickly overwhelmed again, and he pawed wildly at Ryan's chest, urging him to go faster, deeper, stronger.

"You...are...mine..." Ryan's voice came in chopped breaths, his humping motion gaining speed and urgency as his own climax approached. The whimpering moans from beneath him only urged him further, and the fox's claws in his chest threatened to drive him wild. It took the better part of his self-control to keep himself from giving in to his animal instincts, but even that control was evaporating quickly.

With a dominant growl, Ryan leaned once more over the fox, running his tongue from Zack's navel with painful slowness. His teeth traced furrows in the fur, the tongue lapping at the chest rising and falling beneath it. Finally, the mouth reached the fox's neck, and this time it clamped down in a powerful mating bite.

"Oh, yes!" Zack screamed in response, and his cock twitched again as a second orgasm threatened to blind him once more. Ryan's thrusting reached a frenzied pace, and the knot slapped loudly against the fox's ass with every thrust. Zack whimpered with each impact, wordlessly begging for the wolf to tie him. The wolf moaned in response, the deep sound reverberating down the fox's body and sending shivers of delight down his spine. The sensation was almost too much for the lupine, and he could feel his balls starting to tense up against his groin.

With one powerful thrust, Ryan's knot popped into the fox, accompanied by a rough bite from the wolf's teeth. Zack could only whimper in breathless delight, his eyes rolling back as another orgasm approached. The wolf's hips ground roughly against the fox, his body slipping out of his control as his cock started to quiver madly.

The room was a symphony of orgasmic grunts and whimpers, and the sound and musk soon drove both animals crazy with pleasure. Ryan's thrusts were wild and uncontrolled, and he held Zack's neck in a strong mating bite. With wild abandon, he thrust once more, howling as his cock exploded within the fox, coating his insides with a flood of steaming wolf cum. The vulpine whimpered in pure euphoria, the feeling driving him once more past the edge. His body shook mightily, and his cock spasmed again, spreading another string of his seed across both animals' furry chests.

They lay on the couch in exhaustion, panting and shaking as their orgasms flooded over their bodies. Paws roamed wildly, and throats were filled with wild sounds as their minds struggled to regain control of the wild passions. Their eyes met once more, and mouths met in a wild, untamed kiss. No words were spoken for what must have been hours.

Or so it seemed...