FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

I would like to acknowledge the help of Heir_of_Faust for his help in editing this story. Please enjoy.

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Preston must have had some strange plan about hooking up the two of us. For some reason, I kept winding up in bed with Fred. In bed naked, I might add.

The day had just begun and I hadn't even opened my eyes yet, but I suppose it was time for another round of mind games. Preston had told me not to bother talking if I was sore in the morning. I was sore, definitely, seriously sore. It had nothing to do with the less-than-graceful way I had handled his cock though, and more to do with how hard Fred had worked me afterwards. The reasons he gave for imposing that on me was that if I couldn't express how ready I was, I should probably hold off talking till I'd learnt to do it honestly. That wasn't the case, but still, the condition was that if I was sore, I wasn't speaking. Did the reason behind the condition matter that much? As a soldier, did I blindly follow instructions? Was I expected to blindly follow instructions as a slave? The day had hardly begun and I had already managed to get myself confused. With more or less my whole body aching, the last thing I needed was to get my head aching as well.

At least I hadn't been left alone for the night. I had Fred wrapped around me comfortably to hopefully keep me from going crazy. As nice as it was to have company, he didn't help that much while he slept. My headache was more effective at that job than he was at the moment, but he needed his sleep and I could have probably done with a bit more too.

My mind was already in a fairly rough shape as it was. Playing games with it was just cruel, but it kind of helped. I chuckled at the irony, band-aid solution at the best. Today was hopefully going to be my first visit with a counsellor, so I guessed it was probably safe to talk today. Somehow though, I felt I needed a physiotherapist a bit more.

I still felt a bit mixed about seeking professional help. Did I really just agree to that because I felt that's what he wanted me to do? Did I agree to shut him up? Why did I do that? Why do I do anything for that matter? Well, I wasn't getting any better yet but I kind of expected things to take more than a day with or without a counsellor. Maybe I'd feel better about it after the first session. There were some things that I wanted to keep relatively private after all. Having another person to talk to, even for a little while, would help with that. How long would I stay here anyway? A week, a few days? Till Preston's leg was fully healed? We were more or less dead weights here, so I guess I should expect to be leaving any day now. Though getting ready amounted to packing my handcuffs since I had nothing else. Or rather nothing else that was actually mine. I had an army uniform, which was technically borrowed from my government and my prisoner of war fatigues, which I wasn't entirely sure about. They were obligated to clothe me, so I had them but their ownership was never made clear to me. Well, they wouldn't ship me off nude, even if I felt more comfortable that way. Somehow, I got the feeling that nobody was really going to care if I took both outfits with me.

I liked my fur, it was more than enough to keep me warm. Uniforms were good for play though. Until this war began, I was practically never clothed unless I was in public, I just didn't need it. Then there was the army uniform that made everyone look the same and helped maintain discipline during training. After that it was the camouflage so that we'd be harder to see and hopefully not get shot as often. Then there was my prisoner's outfit to do just the opposite and make me easier to spot so that they could shoot me. As if I wasn't already a bright unnatural colour to start with.

I reached out slowly to check my range of motion. My arm seemed to move just as far as it used to, but it hurt a bit more near the limit. It was a sort of warm, tender, aching pain. That was enough to get Fred to show a bit of life and he groggily dragged my weakened body back into bed.

"What's your hurry?" he groaned. It had probably been one of those awkward moments where we had both been waiting for the other to show a bit of life first.

"Just wanted to make sure my arms still worked properly," I said, "Really sore after last night." Actually saying that felt a lot stupider than what I thought it would. I had never had trouble with feeling stupid before this adventure began. Now I felt foolish and stupid a good amount of my time, partly of my own doing and partly with Preston's help.

Fred stretched my other arm out and it burned as it moved. "Sore huh? Well, that was kind of the goal," he said, "Hold it." I tried my best to keep my hand still as he started his analysis of it. First, he pushed my hand to one side and then to the other, up and down. Then he tried pushing down on it while I did my best to hold it in place. I really couldn't handle much till my muscles started to burn and I had to let him overpower me.

"Okay," he said as he bent my elbow and took a firm grip on my hand, "Now try your best to push." I whimpered as I tried to exert myself. That didn't go too well. The more I tried to push, the more sore my arm felt and it didn't feel like I was putting out any more force.

That seemed pretty funny to Fred. He was laughing at my weakness. I was pretty defenceless now. Despite my best efforts, his hand was still getting closer to me. Suddenly, his hand shot out as he gave up on that. "Okay, pull now," he requested. I tried my best to pull his hand towards me, but it simply wouldn't budge. He felt so much stronger than I was, not that I didn't have the feeling before. His upper body was built so much better than mine was. A bit of muscle definition was visible through his fur. My upper body was rather deceptive. It was mostly my thicker fur. I was much smaller than most people thought I was. The more I pulled on his arm, the more it ached and the more inept I felt.

His hand collapsed over me and brought things to a stop. "Seems to work fine to me," Fred said, "It'll probably take a while before they aren't sore anymore."

I sighed at the news. Submissive as I was, I didn't like aching all the time. Maybe a bit of moving around would help. Maybe I'll take it easier for a while if I can. Didn't seem like I had too much control over things though. I flexed my arms a bit, wondering if it would be getting better or worse through the day.

"You're not as frisky as you were last morning," Fred commented as his fingertips cruised through my band of heavy yellow fur.

"You didn't work me nearly as hard that night. I'm usually horny when I'm not miserable," I explained.

"Well, even if you aren't, some of us still are horny," Fred said as his fingertips sank into my fur, "I'd hate to let my morning wood go to waste, would you?"

It was nice to be asked at times. On the other hand, it was also nice to be taken by surprise, quickly and suddenly but only if I was already in the mood for things. Part of me wondered how much of this was really his attitude and how much was unknown agreements between him and Preston, like that bit about praise and encouragement while working. Back to the question at hand though, was I really in the mood? With the way his hands were exploring my body, and my morning erection, I decided that I might as well. Getting into the right mood didn't seem too difficult. "If I help you with yours, will you help me with mine?" I asked.

Fred chuckled as he started removing his pants, "I think I get what you're after." The way he was going about things, I'd say that Fred was more boyfriend material than master. He just seemed too nice to be my kind of dominant but he could still get me in all the right places. Maybe if he tried, he could be a bit more dominating, but if anything, I was supposed to be the accommodating one. "I suppose you'd rather not be on top in this arrangement," he said as he got up on his hand hands and knees and straddled my body. He paused to take another laugh at my expense, "Then again, maybe you should be. You wanted to make sure your arms were still good. You can test how well they hold you up."

I groaned at the thought and he quickly licked my cheek before spinning around. This was something that I was doing as a favour to him and the last thing I wanted was to be pre-occupied with how sore I was while I was sucking him. He waved his tail about in the air and his shirt drooped down. His cock dangled just outside my muzzle as he positioned his arms down on either side of my body. I arched my head up to get a sniff of that musky aroma. It was interesting for a breath or two but after that it got a little annoying. My muzzle opened just enough to slide my tongue out and swirl it around the tip of Fred's cock. At least my jaw wasn't sore.

Meanwhile, Fred had a firm grip on my member, tilting it up towards his mouth by the knot. His grainy, dry tongue made short little licks across the top of my member and then around the side. It got smoother as he started salivating and it started taking on a bit of a different sensation. I showed my gratitude by reaching up and tracking my tongue around the first ring of barbs on his cock. He was more boyfriend material, but his cock didn't look too friendly for penetration. Its surface features were great for sucking on though. I took the tip of his cock into my mouth and flicked a few of the barbs forward letting them spring back into position. Those spikes had decent give to them and didn't scratch, but I had to wonder how that would feel inside. His cock seemed more like a one way thing than something I'd like to be fucked with.

My head arched upwards a bit more and I tried to see how far down his cock I could reach. Even if I wasn't quite in the mood, I could still act a little slutty. It might just take a bit more effort for me to get off. In this case though, I was worried that I might not be able to at all. Part of me felt bad for asking him to do this just so that I could do a better job. Hopefully he wouldn't mind putting that effort to waste. It was after all a decent return.

I flexed out my sore arms and tugged Fred down a bit closer. Working with my head on the pillow was a bit easier in my current state. My lips sealed around his member and sucked everything in trying to get my lips to cover my teeth so that they wouldn't scratch. Teeth were something I was very self-conscious of. The first time Fred sucked me off, I could occasionally feel his teeth contact my member but I didn't really mind. I suppose I felt I had a few expectations about my position and some slightly higher standards to pay attention to.

The first few barbs entered my mouth and I decided to test the one way theory. I held my lips tight as best as I could and tried to back my head away. My tongue swirled about the tip of his member as the barbs held my lips to it. A single barb flexed with a bit of effort, but several had a bit more hold and the whole thing, I suppose that would keep me down pretty well. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to try it. Of course there was also canine method of holding someone in. A large bulge was quite intimidating, but the rest of the cock was pretty usable when I didn't feel up to taking the whole thing.

My tongue flicked against his cock and tries to push the barbs out of my lips one at a time. His cock was a great cock for sucking on. A lot of surface features made it a lot of fun. It was lot easier to focus on what I was doing than on what he was doing. Not that he wasn't doing a good job. It was nice how he rubbed my sack in his hand from time to time. It must have been a little difficult for him to keep his balance like that, but he was a strong guy. His tongue zipped down the length of my member quickly and his lips sealed around the side of my knot. There was hardly time for a warm, slick lapping before he arched over to suck one of my balls into his mouth.

He seemed really into it and I didn't know if I could make it work. I wanted to, I really did, but there was just too much anxiety. Didn't want to break the moment though.

His cock out of reach now and his tail hanging just above my face. His rectal sphincter was clearly in my sight as I took a deep breath. I had heard of rimming before and I suppose this was some kind of invitation. My head turned to the side as I wondered if I was really being asked to do what I thought I was being asked to do. It was a big step for what I was willing to do, but it wasn't something I wrote down as something I wouldn't do. I cupped his sack in my hand as I thought with one finger pointed towards his sphincter. Fred continued to work away at my sack and then around the bottom of my knot and back to my balls again as I waited. In my mind, it was quite likely that I was being asked what I thought I was being asked but I still wasn't quite ready for it.

I arched my neck up a bit and licked along the base of his sack where it merged with his body. My tongue stayed close to his rectal opening, which seemed to constrict and relax a few times as I breathed upon it. I was still avoiding it though; not sure what it would bring. Then a thought hit me, what was I really afraid of? There was a bit of discomfort about it, but why? I took a deep breath and decided I might as well find out. My tongue quickly darted upwards and swirled around Fred's rear opening, so far so good. No strange tastes and I hadn't been struck down by lightning. I let my tongue circle around one more time before I dropped back on the pillow and sighed. Nothing too bad had happened but that was about all my mind could handle for now. Maybe further the next time.

Fred groaned as his head lifted away from my body, pulling one of my balls with him before letting it spring out of his mouth. "Something wrong?" he asked before lapping around the start of my shaft.

"Not sure," I slowly said. It felt a little odd having stopped when nothing was really going wrong, but I just didn't feel ready. I probably could have continued if he asked nicely about it. "I don't really feel good, not entirely in the mood right now," I finally said.

Fred looked back at me and waited a moment before asking, "Do you want to stop?"

"Give me a minute," I insisted as I dropped my head back on my pillow. I shook my head slowly. Being asked felt a little awkward. I didn't really want to stop, but I needed some time to explain myself. Needed time to prepare too. "First time rimming," I mentioned. Wasn't really sure what to say after that. Felt pressured to say something though. Didn't want him to cut in again before I was ready.

Fred lowered his chest onto my body. "Tell me when you're done," he said sounding a little bored.

"Feeling a little odd," I said, "Not sure if I'm really going to feel comfortable with it."

Fred got back up and his tail fell in my face in a strangely uncoordinated petting attempted. It was more like a weak slapping than anything else. "Not feeling ready is a good enough reason not to do something. Just stick to what you feel comfortable with and experiment at a rate you feel comfortable with," he told me, "You can reflect on things later if you're not feeling adventurous." That sounded like rather good advice. Usually I was advised not to do stuff I wasn't ready for and he wasn't saying that I shouldn't. His tail rose and dropped on my face again as I tried to figure out how I wanted to proceed. "Sound good to you?" he asked.

I playfully swatted his tail aside. "Yeah, sounds good," I replied. Yeah, it sounded good, but it wasn't overly helpful. It didn't help me decide what I wanted to do. His tail slapped my cheek again before he backed up a bit so that his cock was nicely within reach of my mouth again. I liked his cock. It was fun to suck on.

There must have been some conspiracy to hook us up because his advice once again had me thinking of how he would do as a boyfriend. It was nice that he wasn't afraid of encouraging me to try things I wasn't comfortable with. There was no pressure to continue. Then again, that was also a good trait for masters as well except I'd let my master try to mold me into something else and maybe explore a few things I wasn't totally comfortable with. A good master would be able to recognise when things were too much though. In any case, suckling on his nice plump member made all my worries go away. That was always the best characteristic of a boyfriend or a master.

His barbs gently scratched and tickled my cheeks as my head twisted from side to side with my tongue prancing around inside my mouth. Meanwhile, he was having fun with my cock. He seemed quite intent on trying to fit my whole shaft in his mouth. His lips inched forward slowly as his tongue pulsed trying to sweep my cock in deeper. I could feel his breath drifting over my dampened knot.

Taking the whole thing was something I was told took a lot of skill with a short muzzle and he managed to get quite a bit in. I myself had a bit of a snout, but it was more of an elongated nose since my jaw didn't really extend that far forward. Preston though, he could probably pull it off with no problem without needing to deep throat. His tongue stretched out beyond his lips and slid back and forth along my knot as if etching a line showing his progress. It was neat having more or less my entire shaft in his mouth.

Of course I had the luxury of being able to use my hands without straining myself, so I felt no need to try doing that myself. I gripped the remainder of his shaft in one hand as the other curled around his sack and gathered his balls together in a neat little bunch. The lightly fuzzed skin stretched smooth in my palm as I rubbed over it with my thumb.

That was a rather content arrangement for what seemed like an eternity, only to be interrupted by my muffled groans. My tongue flailed around against the large mass in my mouth as I wondered if I was actually going to orgasm this time. Fred had made a bit more progress down my shaft but he quickly backed away a bit and began licking the top of my member. I squirmed excitedly at the sensations. It felt good and was very relaxing, but it didn't really feel like it was doing more for me than that.

A brief thought of more rimming flashed by my mind only to be quickly buried again. What I was doing was fine and Fred drew his legs in, locking my head in position to show it. Though he remained silent, I could feel his breathing picking up speed. It was just a matter of time now; all I had to do was keep going for a while. I tried to force my tongue into slightly more frantic action as my head bobbed up and down within the limits set by his barbs. My grip on the remainder of his shaft tightened, accelerating the process to a sloppy, messy finish.

I took a deep breath and swallowed the fruits of my labour. It took a moment before Fred started up again. It didn't quite feel right to let him go on though. I just wasn't even close. "Just stop," I mumbled softly, "I don't think that's about to finish any time soon." He kept at it for a bit longer before I added, "I only needed a bit of help getting in the mood. Don't try to force it."

Fred collapsed over me shortly after. That was a very nice way to start the day. Probably a better way to end the day though seeing as to how we were a pair of bodies collapsed on top of each other. For the few minutes we rested, there was bliss. Only to be disturbed by our mutual need for food. We took off hand in hand, definitely more of a boyfriend than a master. Though which did I really want right now?

The usual place, my usual spot, my typical garments, and the usual food. Preston sat down across the table from me, distancing himself for some reason. As much as I was supposed to be his slave, we had hardly spent any time together. "Good morning master," I greeted him cheerfully.

"Good morning my slave," Preston replied, "I take it this means you aren't sore."

"Not from that," I reluctantly answered as I drew my hands into towards my chest, with a slight burning sensation. "I am sore from all that exercise I did last night though," I explained.

Preston sat back and grinned, "Got yourself worked over well?"

"No, exerted myself a bit too much," I said. "Did you find me anyone to talk to?" I eagerly asked.

"Kind of," Preston replied slicking his ears back, "Well, let me just ask you one thing. How badly do you really want to get things started?"

How desperate was I? I thought that was pretty clear when we decided I would. Personally, I wasn't yet settled on who I was actually going for. Was it really to help me or just to satisfy him? It was still decided that it was now something I wanted to do. Why can't I make decisions anymore? I could definitely use someone to make decisions for me. "What do you mean?" I asked.

Preston shrugged, his ears slowly rising back up again, "Well, I couldn't really find someone good on such short notice. However, there was a panda quite insistent on meeting you. He sounds... well I don't know. Maybe you'll get a good laugh out of it. You interested?"

"A good laugh? What did you find for me?" I asked.

"Well, it was more of a him finding me. He's a strange creepy guy. Says he's a monk," he said with a shrug, "I wouldn't waste my time with him, but there isn't really an abundance of things to do around here. If you feel like it, I'm sure we can squeeze it in between your manual labour and other services."

I shrugged and quickly thought it over as Fred sat down next to me with our food. It was a most unusual situation, not that I could really call anything I've experienced lately normal. Maybe something that strange could be fate. Then again maybe all I needed was something to believe in. "It sounds like it could be interesting," I said, "Did you manage to find anyone serious for later on?"

Preston folded his arms and tilted his chair back, "Yeah, serious. There's someone more reputable, like with actual qualifications once we get out of here. We've got about a week. I'll see what there is. Do you feel like taking a brief trip in a crate?"

I twisted my chin to the side intrigued, "A trip in a crate?"

"Well, when else are you going to get the chance?" Preston asked as he worked his food around with his fork, "Just a short trip in a truck over to the ship, which will take us off this island. It's pretty much the only segment we can get away with it on," Preston said, "It'll be fun."

I whimpered and shoveled some food into my mouth, with my tail curling under my chair. It was something a little too embarrassing to admit but I was hoping my expression would do the talking for me. It would be fun if a lack of objection was considered a sign of consent, then again it could also be dangerous. My head drooped down as I thought about being packed away in a little cage for a ride. It sounded interesting.

How good was he at reading my body language? We used to spend a lot of time together. He knew when I was lying during our sessions, but it was a while ago. This felt a little more serious though. There weren't hundreds of lives on the line though, this time it was just I.

Fred reached over and rubbed between my ears, "Take your time and think about it if you want. When the wheels are rolling and there's no way out is the wrong time to change your mind."

That was true, and fairly good advice. Secretly, I wanted to, but only secretly. My head lowered a little further. It was almost like I was about to drop my utensils again. "I'll let you think about that, I suppose," Preston said.

We rather unceremoniously finished the rest of the meal and it was time for me to get dressed. My prisoner outfit was very basic and rather baggy. The fewer sizes needed, the cheaper the production would be. Of course, the clothes I was changing into were also rather baggy. When getting things for someone whose size you don't really know, better too big than too small. It let my big bushy coat out a little further. Felt kind of nice. I longed to once again feel the wind pushing back my fur while the warm sunlight slowly heated up the tips. It just wasn't the same. The point of the having to wear the prisoner's outfit was kind of lost on me. It was a bright colour to keep me from hiding and I was already a bright colour. I suppose I couldn't really be free as a prisoner though.

"How does it feel?" Preston asked as I finished threading my tail through a hole in the back of my jeans.

"It fits fine," I said. Which was true, it fit me but it was just as annoying, possibly even a bit more. I felt a little less comfortable in the heavier fabric of the jeans, but I suppose I could live with it. I tightened the belt around my waist wondering how much fur hid my waist and when I could rely on my pants staying on. My shirt was a bit more comfortable. A nice and loose tank top where my arms and shoulders were more or less free.

It felt like I was taking a pretty big step going out in public again and I turned around to check out my various imperfections. I wasn't really aware of it till now, but I was starting to develop a horrid tangle in the band of yellow fur around my shoulders. In the absence of a brush, I never got the chance to maintain it and being constantly pressed down under my shirt was bad for it. "I need a brush," I told Preston.

"I'll pick one up for you," he said, "You ready to go?"

My hand rose to my neck and I scratched myself a little wondering if he had any plans for a collar. It seemed like a fairly standard piece of dress for a slave. Maybe I'd get to go for a romp on a leash some other time though. "Yeah," I said.

It still felt uncomfortable as I wandered out into the streets. The place was really different than what I had grown up with. There were big cracks in buildings and crumbled piles of material everywhere that nobody had any interest in cleaning up. But people still moved on. All the shop windows were boarded up, either to prevent or to cover up damage and some shop owners had resorted to selling the remainder of their wares in the streets like an old-fashioned market place. There was quite a bit more used stuff than new. It didn't matter much as long as they were still reasonable quality. I followed my master through a few streets to a quiet residential street where an old-looking black and white figure with a walking stick came up to us.

"Right this way, I've been expecting you," he said, not even bothering to look up.

Preston gave me a nudge and we exchanged glances for a while him in surprise and I in confusion. "This is who I was talking about," my master reluctantly said, "You think you'll be okay without me?"

I twisted my muzzle a little, feeling like a little kid going off to the babysitter for the first time. He seemed a little odd draped in a loose brown robe with a crack of bare fur running down the front. It was hard to avoid questioning who here really had more issues. I had strong feelings of guilt, and self-hatred, but he looked like someone who took after a black mage in an 8-bit video game. "Yeah, I'll be okay. I can look after myself," I said, immediately holding my breath afterwards to keep from laughing. He may have been funny but, he did seem trustworthy with his big head.

There was a big grin on my face as he turned and said, "Right this way." Either he didn't notice or didn't care. I turned to give Preston a quick hug before leaving as the odd fellow began to walk off without me. Things seemed so unreal that it took me a moment to realise I'd better do something. I scratched my head looking off in the distance awkwardly before I decided he had enough of a head start already. I bolted after him as he walked up the steps to a house that I half expected to resemble a fortune-teller's booth at a fair.

"You're very troubled, my son," he said quietly as he sat down by a small table with a pair of burning candles and a tea set on it and a pillow on the opposite end. Things seemed a little out of place without a crystal ball, but I sat down just the same. Reading tea leaves was a nice trick, but this guy just seemed like more of a crystal ball, booth at the fair type deal.

"Tell me about it," I sarcastically remarked.

"You're feeling weak, you've been put in situations where you felt you had little control and regret the actions you've taken. It feels like a great responsibility has been placed on your shoulders when you know you've done nothing. Now you need a little help accepting it," he replied in the same calm voice that he said everything in, "Sound about right?"

I nodded, as my skepticism stayed about the same. "What do you think I should do about it?" I asked.

His hand slid under the table and pulled out a rolled up newspaper. "Read," he said as he passed it over, "What you need now is information. There are a lot of bad things going on right now, and the more you learn about them, the less responsible you'll feel. These things haven't all been about you. Hundreds of people have been planning these things and trying to figure out how to carry out war. Thousands more make the weapons. Everyone plays some part in this, and yours might be a bit larger than others, but you understood the need to stop."

I took the newspaper and read the first headline out loud, "Kempville Raiders win 20 to 15 over Oakville Rockets. Raiders one game to Tunney Cup." My desire to laugh faded as something halfway down the page caught my eyes. It was on the war, there was a great victory sometime after I was captured. It was a huge slaughter. Thousands were killed, courtesy of me of course. It felt more like an accusation than therapy.

"Just take it a little at a time. Once you've seen more of the real world, you'll eventually accept that some of the big things are beyond your control," the panda told me, "There's just too many people trying to drown out the voice of reason." I lowered the paper to find a steaming cup thrust out towards me, "Tea?"

I smiled politely and took the warm cup from his hands. I wrapped my fingers around it to enjoy its heat. The little thing seemed to ease tensions a bit. Maybe somebody on this rock had a hot tub that was still intact. I felt like I needed one. My sore body really wanted one. "Thank you," I politely accepted, "So... What do you suggest I do?"

He looked up after pouring himself a glass of tea, "What you have to do? Nothing, you already know what you need. It's just going to take some time for you to accept it. In the long run, that'll be the only thing that'll help. For now though, I'll teach you to meditate. It'll help clear your thoughts."

"Neat, will I be able to see the future afterwards?" I couldn't help asking.

He snorted, "I know of no such tricks. If you figure one out, please let me know about it." Nothing seemed to affect him for more than a split second. Despite my mocking, he just took another sip of tea and continued, "First, I'd like to do a little examination if you don't mind. There's something that I'm most curious about."

"Sure, we can play doctor for a while," I replied. Somehow I wasn't sure if he understood the meaning of playing doctor. He was a strange person and I still wasn't sure what he was after.

He got up and began to rummage around, picking up small odds and ends. "Would you mind removing your shirt for me?" he asked. For a while there I wondered if he was actually thinking of the same thing that I was when I mentioned playing doctor. All doubt perished as he settled down beside me with a stick of thermometers, a ruler and some scissors.

I took my shirt off slowly as he explained, "I want to take your temperature as well as examine your coat." His hand held three thermometers in front of me and slid one into my mouth. Another was tucked under my armpit and my hand was wrapped around the third. It was a little odd to have my temperature taken in so many places at once. Most doctors I knew just settled on one and were happy with it.

"That'll take a few minutes," he said as he slid his hand up my belly till his fingertips reached my band of thick yellow fur. "May I take a sample?" he asked, not even waiting for me to reply. Before I could even nod, there was a strip of yellow and orange fur missing from the middle of my chest. Then he quickly concealed his work in a quick comb over. He spread my hair out across his table and planted his ruler next to it. "It's a fair length, but I was expecting the fibres to be thicker," he paused for a moment and tilted my head towards him. He gazed into my eyes and brought a candle closer. "Ah yes, I see the reason now. You aren't getting enough sleep," he concluded. He set the candle back down and collected his thermometers.

It was hard to hide it. Last night really took a toll on me, both physically and in terms of sleep. "Tell me something I don't know," I said with my hand raised covering my mouth, "Last night was quite a late night struggle for me."

"And what about the past few months?" he asked in a slow, calm voice. It was hard to tell if he was genuinely curious or if he already suspected something.

"There isn't really anything to do in that room besides sleep," I contested. It felt odd to be trying to defend myself. Most of me was still felt lost, though there was a part of me that just felt fortunate to have a bit of company.

He nodded, "You spend a great deal of time resting, I know. I also know that what you do in bed is not really sleep."

My ears shot up and I couldn't help but to grin. "And would you like a demonstration?" I asked.

"Your mind is troubled, you spend much more time wrestling with your guilt than you do actually sleeping," he went on as if I didn't say anything, "You've got to find something that'll help you clear your mind so that you can sleep."

It was just too hard to really take that seriously so I mentioned pretty much the only thing I could think of, "You mean besides cock sucking?"

His reaction was one of calm, cold professionalism, "And does that really help you?"

It was clear that he wasn't going to be any fun to mess with, but I figured it wasn't going to hurt to try a bit more anyway. "Well, it seems to help others get to sleep," I replied with my head cocked in a vain attempt to look cute.

He blinked slowly. It was hard to tell if I managed to surprise him. His tone remained the same, slow and calm, "Just relax and try to remember the last time. Does it help you? Close your eyes and reflect for a while if it helps."

I closed my eyes and tried to think about it for a while without getting too carried away. It was just nice and fun. I suppose it certainly was easier going to bed thinking about cock rather than death, but I still couldn't avoid the latter. "Yes, it does," I eventually concluded, "It's a lot of fun, makes me feel good and I'm told it's good exercise too."

He glanced up at me from his tea as if he were finally starting to get frustrated with me. "To sleep my dear," he said with a crackled tone that made him almost sound like a grandmother, "Does it help you get to sleep?"

"Well, we could always find out," I immediately replied with a wink. Something like that just couldn't be taken seriously.

This time, my jests were met with a shrug as if he was expecting that I wouldn't answer. "Well then, I suppose I'll just trust that you'll return when you're ready to know what I have to tell you."

"What's it about?" I asked out of curiosity.

Now it was his turn to be evasive, "Oh, it's not really that important. You could probably have a nice life not knowing."

"Can't you at least tell me what it's about if you can't tell me now?" I asked.

"If you are not ready, than you are not ready," he replied.

I snorted and turned my head, "Well then maybe I'm not interested in knowing anyway."

He smiled and went back to his tea. "Best not to dwell on what cannot be obtained," he remarked.

It was getting rather childish, but it was a fun break. I crossed my arms and looked away, "Fine then, I won't, but you're the one who called me here."

He smiled as if not noticing the sarcasm, "That is good. Since you're content with not knowing, I suppose you can be on your way."

My head drooped as I quickly thought up another childish remark, "But I haven't even sucked your cock yet."

It was done; I finally managed to get him to laugh. He slapped his thigh and tilted his muzzle in the air before looking back at me. It ended almost as suddenly as it began and he took another sip of tea before stating, "I'm a celibate monk, you aren't going to suck me."

"Something tells me that you're going to tell me what I want to know," I said.

He nodded, "Perhaps I can, but what is it that you seek to know."

I took another glance at my teacup and took a sip. It was cold and somewhat disappointing. "Well, you were about to tell me something," I mentioned.

He smiled and looked at me like we were going to go through the whole loop again, "It is only through knowing the right questions to ask that you may learn. The truly important things in life, you must discover on your own."

That certainly wasn't helpful. I stared at my tea for a while as he topped off our cups. This needed a bit of thought. "What are the right questions?" I asked.

He answered almost without thinking about it, like it was something he told people all the time, "For you, I suggest you start with the questions you were asking a year ago but never really answered."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Take a moment to think about it. The questions you want answered now are really the same as the questions you wanted answered a year ago. You've been asking the same questions for quite some time. Many of us have," he told me as he raised his teacup to his lips.

I figured I might as well look like I was enjoying the tea and took a sip as well. It was much warmer than before, but it was still a little on the cold side for me. "I just want to come to terms with having been involved in killing so many people. That's definitely new to me," I insisted.

"Ah, but that merely masks the deeper questions in life. Those are the ones that really bother you," he declared, "Let me ask you this, you were troubled in your old life, were you not?"

I wasn't sure how much of this was for real or how much of this I should believe. It definitely was the guilt that was bothering me, not some deeper question. I'd have been fine if they had just kept me in the back mindlessly shuffling supplies around. Going out here to personally have a hand in all this was asking too much of me. For the most part though, I just really wanted my old life back. "Well, I was stuck in a dead end job, but it wasn't nearly as bad as being out here," I replied.

"Are you really sure you want to go back to that?" he asked, "This could be a great opportunity to seek something new and you have plenty of time to think about it."

I took a deep breath and thought about it for a while. Well, half thinking, and half hoping that he'd come up with something profound. It was hard to admit that my desire to get back to my usual routine was misplaced. After all the time I spent thinking about how nice it would be, I was kind of hard to consider the possibility that I was wrong. I forced myself to anyway. It's what my master would have wanted me to do. For a while, my mouth sat open, somewhere between not sure how to express myself and feeling scared to. I raised my cup to my lips to try to make it seem a little less awkward.

While I could now appreciate what I had, I knew it would never be the same again. This silly thing was going to move a whole bunch of people around and nothing would be the same again. I was also going to be lucky if had any friends who weren't going to be bitter at me. So much was lost when I came here and I foolishly tossed the rest away when I decided to seek revenge. It wasn't in anybody's best interest to tell them what I did, but just the same, I knew I could never face them again. "I thought I was just going to go home grateful for what I had, but I guess there isn't really a chance that I can just go back to living my old life," I finally admitted.

He smiled at me, "So, time for a whole new set of questions to think about. All it takes is a nudge in the right direction."

I sighed and hung my head, "And I suppose this takes us back to the answers coming from within." I slouched back almost fell over. This had gone on long enough and I was now feeling completely worthless. Having ruined more of my life than I thought I had was a depressing thought. As was having nowhere to be and nowhere to go in this world. I needed a place in this world and all the help I could get finding it. Who could I trust? This wasn't going to be easy.

"Perhaps we should end there for now, you should learn to meditate before you go," he said, "It'll help you think more clearly about the questions you have."

"Is that all you wanted to say to me?" I asked feeling a little disappointed, "I thought you had something important to tell me."

"Is it important to watch the dominoes fall or give the first one a push?" he asked.

"And I suppose you've just pushed the first one," I said.

"I'll let you tell me the next time we see each other," he said as he stood up, "Shall we go somewhere a little more comfortable?"

"How about we finish with the tea first?" I said as I picked up my cup, "I'd really like to know what my it says about me."

Before I could even finish the rest of my cold tea he had some kind of wise ass response. "Your cup tells me that you're not too fond of tea but you're still polite. You also don't want to be a bother about asking for something else to drink," he told me with a smile. He then tilted his glass towards me to reveal a clean bottom, "My cup tells me that I've finally become gentle enough to keep these cheap tea bags from breaking."

I shook my head and laughed. He was one step ahead of me. He always said things so calmly too. Something told me that he didn't really mind my attempts to mock him. It was all in fun anyway. Somehow the way that I was invited to come over really suggested that something was up.

My now empty cup told me the same thing that his cup did. He definitely used tea bags. I suppose this meant that it was time for me to get up and follow. He led me back to a somewhat broken down mattress and pointed for me to take a seat. It was a little beat up, but I sat down with my legs out. Cross-legged was just a little too corny for me.

The monk sat down and followed my lead, sitting with his legs out. His legs were considerably shorter than mine were. We both had our backs to the wall, but his feet didn't hang over the edge the way mine did. "Is this reasonably comfortable for you?" he asked.

I shrugged in response. That was about as comfortable as anything else I've come across in over a year. It was going to do. A few moments passed till I realised that he hadn't noticed my movements. "I suppose," I verbally answered in response.

"That's good," he said, "Now close your eyes and think of something simple."

Once my eyes were closed, I shuffled my weight a bit and slouched. Parts of me didn't really feel like holding up after last night and this was a good time to give them a break. A lot of things came to mind at the same time, pain, guilt, suffering, and anger. The first thing that I could actually stand thinking about was my old home. That seemed a little too complicated. Simple, the empty teacup was the next thing to come to mind. It was nice and simple. "Okay," I slowly said.

"In a minute, you'll try to clear your mind of all thought," he told me, "But when your mind is clouded, it helps to start by filling it with a single thought and forcing out the rest of the noise. Tell me, what is it that you're thinking of."

I was tempted to tell him that I was thinking of his voice. If I had sat down and was hearing it for the first time, maybe I would find it relaxing. After having had tea with him though, I found it a little odd that he was still using the same tone that he always was. That was something I'd just have to put up with for another hour or so I figured. "The empty tea cups," I replied as I got myself back on topic.

"Interesting choice. Something fresh in your mind," he told me. Once again, I found myself thinking of his voice. It was a little distracting. "I want you to concentrate on that one thing. You should be able to see it clearly in your mind. Try to make out all the little details, but most importantly, don't let your mind drift. Keep all your thoughts to the cup."

I found myself wondering about whether or not I found him more or less credible after finding out that he used tea bags. It was somewhat off topic, but I guess I believed in him enough to try to think about the cup specifically. It was a rather thick walled cup. The pattern on it was rather fancy.

How long was I supposed to think about a cup anyway? That was a stupid thing to ask. Kind of related, but I was trying to keep my thoughts narrow. The thing didn't have a handle. It was meant to have hands held around it. The thing was warm when he first held it. It was a comfortable warm though, probably because the walls were so thick. The tea in it wasn't too different than the tea that I was used to. I couldn't think about tea, the subject was the cup right now.

Why did it have to be the cup anyway? This would be much easier if I had said cock back at the beginning. I wish I had. This was pretty bad, I wasn't even thinking about the cup any more. Then again, the important thing wasn't that I was thinking of the cup, but that I was thinking of one thing instead of several. Changing what I was thinking of didn't change the fact that I was still focusing my thoughts on one thing. Other thoughts still disappeared.

Fred's cock was a real work of art. It had an amazing cluster of spikes, which made it really fun to suck on. I like wedging the tip of my tongue through all the gaps. I was also curious about how that would feel inside. It looked like something that could provide a lot of stimulation. Maybe I could try that some time. Hopefully he had reasonable control over it. Being hurt and stuck was still a concern for me.

Then again, the individual barbs were fairly soft and flexible. Maybe he would know a few things about the best way to do this. I'd have to ask him some time after this. Definitely didn't want to leave without getting some idea of what that was like, good or bad.

"Have you managed to focus your thoughts?" the monk asked.

"Yes," I dreamily replied, trying not to let the question disrupt my train of thought.

"Well, here comes the hard part," he said, "It sounds a little abstract, but now you must sweep the remainder of your thoughts from your head and try to relax. Start by thinking of a soft humming sound. Let it clear out the rest of your thoughts."

That sounded a little disappointing. The thought of sex was a very comforting thought for me. It was possible that I might be more relaxed with the thoughts that I had rather than without them, but I have it a try anyway. Somehow I was starting to believe that he really was an eccentric monk.

At first I started humming softly to myself. It was a gentle buzz of white noise. Then I took a deep breath and it was a little louder. It took me a while before I became aware of this. Then I stopped humming all together. Every once in a while my mind jumped back onto the subject of cock. It was hard to fight. I should have stayed with the nice boring teacup.

"That's it," he told me as I went limp, "Just relax and once you're comfortable and thinking only of the buzzing noise, try to tune it out."

That was a hard thing to do. How does one go about not thinking of something? I tried not accept that it could be done and fought the urge to question the request. After all, a good slave boy should follow orders, no matter how strange.

There was that buzzing sound again. Thinking of it was the only way I could get myself to stop questioning the request. Just let it get quiet and see how well this goes. The noise was getting softer again till it eventually died off. Finally, I was thinking of silence.

There seemed to be only one more step to go, but I just couldn't ignore my aches and pains any longer. I groaned and shook a little as I tried to relax. Once I was comfortable again, I tried my best to jump back into my previous state of mind.

A few seconds passed, then my concentration finally broke for good. I pulled my sore legs up and gave them a rub. "It's hard to focus when I'm hurting," I complained.

"It takes a bit of practice till you're good at it," the panda said in his regular voice. I took a quick glance at him. He was there sitting still with his eyes closed. It was nice that I didn't break his focus too much.

Part of me figured that I should give it another try. Of course, it was going to have to be when I felt nice and ready again. I got up and quietly stretched my body. My muscles really burned.

I was ready to sit back down when I saw the panda just sitting there calmly and made a few faces at him. As I expected, there was no reaction. After all, his eyes were closed. Granted, I don't think it would have surprised me much if he did notice and chose not to do anything.

"There's still some time to try again," he told me as I sat back down, "You know the basic steps to get started." There was a brief pause as he took a deep breath and then turned to face me. "Of course, if it makes you more comfortable, I can dangle my watch in front of you," he suggested in his usual calm manner.

"Tell me that you're actually kidding about that," I chuckled.

"It won't put you into a trance, but some people find it easier to clear their thoughts when there's something in front of them that they can focus on, like a pendulum or and oil lamp," he said. He pulled his wrist in front of me and continued, "Of course, I prefer to use a wrist watch, but I'm sure I can find something else that I can dangle from a string for you if you want."

"I think I'll pass," I reluctantly declared. It made me feel a little better knowing that he wasn't taking it too personally. As he said, there was still time to try again. I took a deep breath and tried not to wonder about why we might be running out of time. I'm sure I could count on him to take care of that for me. Now that the idea was in my mind, I was trying to think of a swinging pendulum. Maybe I could find a grandfather clock to try this with sometime. Having someone else do it seemed a little corny. Personally, I didn't really want to be seen doing something like this.

It was a little easier to focus my thoughts since I was already relaxed. Though I couldn't quite get over my aching back. This was probably going to be easier if I wasn't hurting. My thoughts were about as settled as they were going to get for now. I decided to start trying to clear my mind even though my thoughts were more scattered than the last time.

I took another deep breath and tried to let some white noise drown out the rest of my thoughts. At first, I didn't think it was going to get anywhere. I felt alone and scared. I could no longer feel anyone next to me now that the panda had stood up. Maybe I should try this again the next time I was being held by someone.

My concentration was slowly breaking and I was starting to shake slightly. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself a bit. I knew I could do this, but right now, I just wanted to cry. I needed a bit of release. Guilt and anger still ran strong as much as I wanted it to stop.

I tilted my head up with my eyes still closed and whimpered softly. "It hurts," I complained, "I need a bit of time."

"These things often take time. Luckily for you, you have all the time in the world," he told me, "Just let your master take care of the rest. He's been lost before. I'm sure he'll be able to get you on your feet again," he concluded as he extended an arm towards me.

I reached out and took his hand and let him pull me up. It felt so tempting to just collapse again. I still wanted to cry, but I didn't need to right now. "So, what's next?" I asked.

"Next, I think you could use a change of clothing. I've got long fur as well, I might have something that'll be a bit more comfortable on you than the mishmash you're wearing now," he said.

I had almost forgotten that I had a shirt when I came in. The pants were the only things still with me. "Are you interested in seeing my naked body?" I offered as he opened a closet. Before he could pull anything out, I had already begun pulling my pants down.

"Just put this on and tell me if it feels any better," he told me as he blindly tossed a yellow kimono over his shoulder.

I shook the clothing off my muzzle, making sure I was nice and bare before I told him, "You know, a peek isn't going to hurt." I spread the clothes out on the floor and muttered, "Last chance," before I started getting dressed.

"Just tell me how it feels," he told me with his back turned.

I could understand that this simply wasn't his thing and started dressing myself. It was fairly loose fitting. A little big around the belly though. Plenty of room inside for my fur to dangle and mat however it pleased. I wondered about how Preston was doing with that brush as I tightened the belt. How I looked wasn't really important, but having him spend some time looking after me was.

"Are you done yet?" the monk asked me after a bit of silence.

"Come now, I've been inviting you to turn around since I undressed," I joked.

He turned around slowly and gazed at me. For a while, I was curious as to what must have been going through his head. Eventually, he remarked, "That makes you look much more respectable. Now it looks like you're ready for some kung fu."

I tilted my head slowly, "Is that something else you can show me?"

Rather than answer, he held up a finger and paused. I glanced around nervously, wondering what was about to happen. He slowly raised another finger as I flicked my ears about. Then came a third finger and the doorbell rang.

"Well, that's all the time we have for now. Please, drop by the next time you're around," he remarked as he put a hand on my back and turned towards the door.

"And you tell me that you can't see the future," I remarked feeling a little confused.

Rather than opening his mouth, he just spun me around to face the windows. There was a nice view of the street, but I couldn't see Preston. Granted, that didn't mean that he couldn't have spotted Preston going down the street. He seemed to have a good explanation for everything.

"Let's not keep him waiting now," the monk told me as he pulled me towards the door.