Locked inside-out: Ch.2 Fear of Both Worlds
#2 of Locked inside-out
Don't grade me wrongfully on this story. It is my first one here and it's been a while since I last attempted to even start one. First person view has never been my forte but I thought it might help to expand, and this story was thought up on a point to point plot. I don't plan for it to go too in depth.
Consecutive rules apply: If you dissagree, please refrain from leaving your anger in a comment. Please don't plagiarize, it hurts knowing that credit was given to somebody else for my work. Otherwise, if you feel something could be improved or have any requests, just feel free to say so.
It's been almost eight months since I've been outside, chancing my own will to even sit back in the deep seated sills of the occassional open window and staring past the thin mesh into the fresh air of the open skies. I knew what was there and still I protested its being, yet courage flashed and fate once again believed I deserved the suffering.
--
I stayed motionless on the couch but remaining breath despite Amy's inaction. It always seemed that, in the least noticable way, she could make it possible to hate somebody in the least obvious way. As far back as I first arrived, I would watch Amy immediately back away from me if she spent too long too close, as if she feared something in me.
Just the same as it was occuring now, staring up at her face I could see numb pleasure in her smile and her gaze remained as distant as possible as she gave herself enough tolerance to pet me.
It seemed Amy could no longer stand my sight as she unanouncedly stood up and left the room with a slight hurry in her step. I softly rolled off of the couch and followed her down the hall on all fours as she dissappeared into the shared bathroom from her bedroom.
I crept in and placed the black tip of my ear against the door, only to hear silence in reply from the other side. I felt no reason to remain intrusive of her room and found my way back to the living room couch, where monotonous boredom finally settled me to sleep.
--
" I'm home!" Jessica's perky voice echoed above the sound of the closing door. I stretched out across the couch and hit the display button on the sattalite remote.
What? It couldn't be six-thirty already. I've only been asleep for no less than three-quarters of an hours." Huh, Amy must've left it on this channel for you." Jessica spoke from behind me as I felt the remote slip from underneath my hand. I watched the channels rapidly flash across the screen as Jessica scanned for something else to watch before it rested back on the animal channel." There'snothing else worth watching."
" Oh yeah. I talked to a friend today and helped me pick this out for you." I listened to Jessica's voice return behind me and I sat up on the back of the couch as I watched her hold up a wide, black collar.
Wait, a collar? No, not this way. I understood the difference between the open escape of being outside and the worryless freedom of staying inside, and I knew the only chance to traverse across both worlds was an emblem to allow me back in from the other.
--
Damn! I almost vocalized my regret as Jessica quickly slipped the collar over my muzzle and past my ears before tightening it around my neck. I rolled off of the couch and onto the floor as I struggled to pull the collar back off. Curse my underdeveloped dexterous hands, having claws still remain at my fingers' tips, I had no chance of unlooping the thick fabric from the two metal rings holding it firmly in place.
My limbs gave out and I finally halted my thrashing, the collar falling back comfortably around my neck after having been unsuccessful at removing it." I'm sorry boy, but this seemed like the best solution for right now." Jessica tried soothing me as she stepped closer, but I fell back towards the hall and walked into her room.
--
I turned the light on into the shared bathroom and looked at myself through the mirror. Ignoring the strong scent of sweat in the room, I allowed my eyes to stare at the wide strip of fabric encircling my neck. Although it's onyx hue matched my body's natural color scheme, it stood out against my fur with it's hard reflectiveness.
My eyes travelled lower. The soft white fur of my underbelly had lightly greyed from the usual cold air of my home and the rest of the orange fur that covered my arms and legs appeared a shade darker, leaving the black fur of my hands and feet the only parts of my body to remain unchanged since I first arrived here.
It seemed having spent so long in a small area had no adverse effects on me... yet. My body maintained it's rather thin shape, perhaps from the pre-formed diet consisting of the dry food that Jessica buys for me, losing mostly muscle mass from lack of excercise. Having known my adaptations to such a sedentary life-style gave me a failing advantage that needed to be compensated for.
I stopped my eyes from travelling lower.
--
" You alright Alex..." Jessica paused in the doorway to find me gazing at myself. I suddenly found it necessary to cover myself or at least the differences between me and her but she thought quicker and closed the door between me and her." Oh lord. I never thought I'd have to deal with these situations." I listened to her muffled voice through the door.
I left out the other side through Amy's bedrrom where she was sleeping awkwardly across the side of the bed, and into the clean air of the hallway, where the feeling of modesty subsided. I felt I had done something wrong but the answer was out of reach as I fell back onto Jessica's empty bed.
I suddenly realized that all this fear arose from the reason I first arrived here. Although I despised this place so mcuh, I never wanted to go through being outside again for fear of the ones that cast me out in the first place. The only two places it's possible to be and I'm scared of both of them, one more than another.
--
" Are you ready to go outside?" I heard Jessica ask as she approached the bathroom door, still afraid to open it. she turned to notice me on her bed. Her jaw shifted over just enough to notice that she didn't know what to say. She saw the fear on my face at the mention of that word and I knew that she knew." I- I'm sorry Alex. It's just that- I'm too afraid to leave you alone in here while I go to college."
Please don't. I'm too afraid to be left alone outside.