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The Gift

Stephanie's Storyline, Chapter 3.1

copyright comidacomida 2018

George Bernard Shaw once said "Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance." I remember reading that quote in literature class and, in fact, my sophomore literature teacher, Mrs. Jessen had the entire class discuss that point for the last fifteen minutes of the day. I guess having a bunch of teenagers who already think they know everything are the wrong audience for discussing the actual meaning of that quote. It wasn't until I met Anapa, Kyle, Medved and Tom that I really began to really understand how false my knowledge had been... about a lot of things.

The days following Anapa showing me my brother's last minutes I spent a lot of time by myself. The spirits all gave me space to process my feelings and for that I was thankful. I stayed in my room for the most part, coming out to get food or to use the bathroom. During those times I had four sets of eyes on me but nobody spoke up; they thankfully understood I needed my space. I resolved to apologize to them later, but continued focusing on me.

It was two days before I realized that I had a technical writing project due and I finished it in five hours before sending it off. After that I went to bed, sleeping somewhere around fifteen hours. I awoke on day three and realized immediately I was not alone in my room for the first time in almost 72 hours. Sitting up bed, I turned to my large wooden writing desk and saw Tom seated on it. The image was humorous for many reasons but the predominant one was the fact that the chair was sized for me, not some almost-eight-foot-tall-four-foot-wide Rhino man. He realized I was awake when I fought back a snicker at the sight.

Turning toward me, the enormous spirit looked almost like he thought himself tiny; his shoulders were hunched forward and his ears were lowered. With downcast eyes he glanced my way and spoke as softly as his booming, gravely voice could manage. "I will leave so you may have what time you need Nekh'dah, but I wish to tell you that I would like to provide you an apology when you are ready to receive it."

True to his word, Tom stood up to leave but before he could disappear through the wall I called out. "Apologize for what?"

It was a passive-aggressive move on my part; I'll admit it. There were a number of actions on his part that, as far as I was concerned would be worth an apology. The one he chose, however, was not quite what I expected. Turning to face me fully, the Rhino lowered his head as he spoke. "I apologize for failing you."

The statement caught me off guard and necessitated clarification. "Huh? How? What do you mean?"

He looked as though he wanted to fold his arms across his chest; it was a common pose for him after all, but, instead, he folded his hands together in front of himself in what almost looked like supplication. "It has been far too long since I have last spent any length of time with a Seer. I am used to responding to spiritual threats how I see fit with only my own judgment to guide me."

I nodded, thinking back to how he'd assaulted Kyle. "Well, you certainly did judge. That's true."

Whether he caught the barbed tone to my comment or not, to his credit, he continued his apology once I'd finished interjecting. "During my service to you I have lost focus on what is perhaps the most important elements that a Sentinel must consider and that would include your needs and thoughts and wishes. I have done you a disservice, and for that I am most sincerely sorry."

Apologies in this day and age are casual and usually pretty worthless. Celebrities apologize for gross public misconduct; politicians apologize in response to sexual harassment claims; multibillion dollar companies apologize for taking advantage of their customers. Never amidst the sea of empty words had I ever felt that there was true regret behind a request for forgiveness. I could feel it more deeply than I'd ever remembered feeling it: Tom was truly sorry.

There's really only one response that could possibly follow such an abandonment of pride in admitting fault and asking to be absolved of the wrong-doing. "I accept your apology, Tom. Thank you."

It is hard at times to understand why it is we feel the way we do until we look back on it at a later point. Although Tom made good on his promise to give me space and left once he'd said his piece I realized quickly thereafter that I didn't need alone time any longer. It was still early in the morning thanks to my odd sleep schedule the prior day and night but it was still late summer so the sun had already risen when I stepped out into the living room.

All four spirits were on their feet at once; they each looked like they wanted to say something but they all waited until I had spoken first. "Good morning, everyone."

Medved, Tom, and Kyle all responded in kind while Apana spoke in his own language. "Nane atooui, Hemet-netjer."

I smiled at the Jackal, offering a "Nane atooui." in return. His eyes gleamed purple as a result and he smiled pleasantly. Medved stepped closer to me, going down to one knee as he addressed me. "I am pleased to see that you are up and about, Lapushka."

Without even thinking, I reached up and brushed my hand atop the width of Medved's massive head; his fur was thick and coarse, but not unpleasant. The single gesture without even a word was enough to change his expression of concern to one of the same kind of joy as a parent watching their child take a first step. He chuckled, drawing back and laid a heavy paw on my head, settling its weight on me for just a moment before it passed through. He drew back, flopping down onto his rump right on the floor; even seated he was almost the same height as me. "Ah, my malyshka-- already learning how to Reach."

Anapa nodded, moving his paw to in front of his body; he had a golden scepter staff of some sort in it that I hadn't noticed a moment before. He set the butt of the staff on the floor and the head of it came up to his face. Bowing, his forehead touched it and he said something in Coptic; as expected I didn't understand it at all except for one word that rang as clear as if he'd spoken it in English. "Weaver."

Tom looked up immediately and I saw Kyle's feathers puff up out of the corner of my eye. The Raven was the one to respond, speaking back to Anapa in Coptic and the word "Weaver" surfaced again along with the word "Seer" twice. The Jackal shook his head, repeating the word "Weaver" once more, accompanied by "Hemet-netjer."

Before the discussion (or argument perhaps?) got any further I interjected. "What is a Weaver exactly?"

Medved, from his place on the floor answered as if he'd expected the qustion. "Ah, Lapushka, some would argue that you are a Weaver... and it is the Human who holds the mantle who defines the role."

Judging from the mirthful smirk on his muzzle I could tell that he was toying with me but something about the broad smile made it hard for me to be mad at him. I rephrased the question, building off of his answer. "And what role is that exactly?"

Tom provided further clarity. "Although Spirits interact with Humans in our own way, Humans do not interact with Spirits. Seers such as yourself are the exception, Nekh'dah. A Weaver is a Seer who devotes their time to addressing the needs and concerns of Spirits."

Kyle quickly added "Usually by sacrificing their time and energy that would otherwise be used in other ways."

I glanced at the Raven, whose vague answer was open to a lot of interpretation. "Like what other ways?"

Tom snorted. "Living life. Earning money. Finding love. Starting a family. Doing all of the things Humans do."

Although Tom's list was pretty comprehensive in a general way, nothing he said was specifically geared toward my hopes or dreams Kyle added one more point of consideration and he knew what to bring up. "Like becoming a professional writer."

Medved snorted, waving the thought away like he were swatting a fly out of the air. "Bah... there is no reason she could do both if she desired. I will not limit my Lapushka. You have seen how she can Reach, Voronoy. She is a natural!"

It took me a moment to realize in that statement Medved had not used his normal title for Kyle; he had not called the Raven "Bes". I hoped in that moment that the new term was an improvement. Regardless of what he was being called, Kyle didn't seem to appreciate the implication of the Bear's obvious pride at whatever it was I'd done. "Being a Weaver is dangerous."

They were all talking about me as if I wasn't there and my main question still hadn't really been answered. I tried a different approach. "What do you mean Reach?"

Before I realized what was happening, Anapa had taken his staff back, turned it so that it was parallel to the ground, and gave it a toss, sending it arcing right at me. I reflexively put my hands up and caught it. Before I could offer any reproach, the Jackal stated "You Reach. You touch. Seer see. Weaver touch."

His lack of vocabulary made it difficult for me to completely comprehend exactly what he was saying but, as I considered the statement the staff fell right through my hands; it disappeared in a puff of smoke midair. "What in the--?"

Medved, still smiling, inched closer. "Seers are able to hear and see spirits, Lapushka and they can sometimes interact with us in small ways... but Weavers become better at it. Just as Spirits can affect the physical world with concentration, some Seers can touch the spirit world. Those who perfect that talent become Weavers."

Kyle's feathers puffed again as he extended and flapped his wings. "It's dangerous for Humans to mess with the spirit world just like it's dangerous for spirits to mess with the Human one. Just because Stef has a talent for it doesn't mean she should."

Medved let out a good humored snorting chortle. "Says the Skin Rider."

Before Kyle could retort, Tom spoke up. "Do not make the decision for the girl... give her time and let her decide for herself."

The Bear nodded. "Of course it is her decision-- I only said--"

Kyle interjected. "You sounded like you were practically throwing the choice at her. I don't think it's a good idea and if she knew everything that went with living the life of a Weaver then she wouldn't either."

Their discussion about me but without me was gaining traction again so I resolved to put an end to it. "Well... maybe if you'd include me in the conversation and answered some of my questions I'd be able to make a more informed decision."

The soft touch of a paw on my shoulder caught my attention and I turned to see Anapa looking at me, the gold pigment surrounding his eyes gleaming in the early morning light shining through the living room window. He slowly turned his paw over so that his palm was facing up. I recognized the gesture well enough by that point that his follow up statement didn't add much to it. "You, Hem-netjer. Weaver. I show."

Something about Kyle's concerned expression made it hard to say yes. I could tell that, despite Tom's declaration of neutrality that he obviously didn't like the idea much more than Kyle while Medved, who had also indicated that it would be solely my decision had every sign of a proud parent who just found out their kid was a genius. His apparent expectations made it hard to take his statement of "It's her choice." seriously.

In the end I decided that it would be my choice, and I wouldn't rush into anything without more information-- not even Anapa's proposed show-and-tell. I withdrew from his paw as I spoke over my shoulder to Kyle. "Kyle? Please tell him that I'll wait-- I'm not ready for another one of his visions."

The Raven spoke in a plain tone with a neutral inflection to his voice; if I'd expected Anapa to look defeated or displeased then I was certainly mistaken. The Jackal nodded respectfully and stepped away, returning to the seat he had apparently chosen as his, and sat down. He said something brief to Kyle.

Nodding, Kyle then spoke to me. "He said he understands, but also hopes that you will want to do something today other than sleep."

The rest of the spirits went dead silent at the statement; nobody made a sound until I started laughing and then, at length, the Bear, Rhino, and even Raven joined in. It wasn't exactly the smoothest start for a day but, fortunately, things improved from there.

I'd spent three days moping around the house caught up in my own thoughts. The spirits had been patient with me waiting for me to come to grips with my inner demons; Tom had apologized for overreacting; Anapa had expressed an interest in me becoming a Weaver (and Kyle had stated in no uncertainty that he objected to the idea). They were restless, and it was understandable-- I was too.

Gathering my purse from where it was laying on the counter, I headed for the door, pausing to look back at everyone before opening it. "Well? Let's go."

Medved's round, furry ears rose a little higher on his head. "Go? Where?"

It was finally my turn to be vague. "Out."