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The Gift

Stephanie's Storyline, Chapter 9.3

copyright comidacomida 2019

My mom reached across the table and took my hands in hers. "Stef, honey... what's this all about? What are you hoping to find? Your brother is gone and no amount of combing over the details is going to change that... we just... find a way to move on."

I pulled my hands out of hers and sat up straight in my chair. It's difficult to figure out how to respond when you know nothing you can say is going to make sense no matter how you phrase it... especially when you have secrets to keep. Did I have to keep the secrets? Did I even have to answer? I had spent so much time pushing them away that it was obvious they were worried, and I had to do something to reassure them. "I'm not obsessing... but I need to know. If you want to help, then help me find answers... please?"

My parents looked at one another and then back to me. My dad spoke first. "What are you looking for? What are you hoping to--"

I spoke over him. "I don't KNOW what I'm looking for, Dad... that's why this is so hard... but I need it to find... closure."

The statement was MOSTLY truth with a little tip-toe around the reality of the situation. I honestly didn't know what I was looking for, but I had to find something that would lead me to the Spirit involved with scavenging part of Billy's Spirit Essence. I needed to understand whatever 'sacrifice' had taken place and figure out if it had anything to do with his passing. I paused when I had to ask my self, if the Spirit DID orchestrate it... then what?

Before I could figure out an answer to that question my mom's hands came to rest on mine again. "Stephanie... how can we help? What answers are you looking for?"

That was an even more complicated question to answer because I wasn't really even sure what questions I needed to ask. Still, I had to come up with something because the prospect of sitting there with my parents staring at me without responding to that inquiry would only have bothered them more. "I... just want to fill in the blanks. Sure, I guess it's possible to assume why certain things happened or why there are things I don't understand in the report--" my hand moved to cover the folder my parents had offered me, "-- but I'd rather learn them instead of just guess."

My dad's expression was an unreadable as his tone when he asked "Like why there's a gap of time between when the ambulance arrived at the river and when it arrived at the hospital? That kind of thing?"

I nodded, eager to be past the critical phase of my parents' questioning and onward to their acceptance that I just needed answers. "Right. Things like that."

My parents exchanged glances again during a pregnant pause and then back to me. My mom gave my fingers a gentle squeeze. "If you come up with your questions then your father and I will help see about getting them answered."

My dad reached out and took hold of my other hand. "There's a phone number for the emergency service provider on the back of the report. Why don't you figure out what doesn't make sense and I can call them and see if I can get some clarification?"

That actually WOULD help... especially if he could get some information about the paramedic. I nodded. "Yeah... that sounds pretty good."

My mom stood up and walked over to the kitchen counter and grabbed a small notebook from beneath a stack of papers along with a pen and returned to the table. She sat back down and wrote something. "Questions about the paramedic's report... alright... what else?"

Although they'd put me on the spot I was far more encouraged than I was anxious; they were agreeing to help me and, to be honest, their questions were invaluable in assisting me with organizing my own thoughts. We spent almost an hour seated at the table going over what questions I THOUGHT I had, which ones I really felt needed to be answered, and clarification of what it was I really wanted to find.

Once we'd filled two of the notebook pages my mom went back over them. True, the majority of the questions were about different things I'd noticed (or Kyle had noticed) on the report, but there were plenty of other pointed ones that had different areas of focus, like why the ambulance got there before the police when it should have had to travel almost twice as far. Then, there were also casual questions like why my brother and his friends were at the creek so late in the day rather than the usual 'just-after-lunch' time we'd used to go or what he was wearing when he'd passed.

No matter how inane my questions or seemingly out-of-left-field they were neither my dad nor my mom objected and every single one of them made the list. My mom read them back to me, each and every one to make sure that we'd covered everything I had to ask; insofar as questions they could help with, I decided that we did. Of course, there were other questions that I couldn't bring up like ones related to Spirits, but everything on the list would at least provide some foundation for what I would need to know. "Yes... that's everything I can think of. Those are questions for which I want answers."

Dad held his hand out and Mom handed him the pages. He nodded. "Okay... I think this is all doable." He looked up from the papers. "And you think finding answers to these are going to help?"

I nodded. "I just want to know... I hate not knowing."

My parents nodded to one another and mom led the charge. "I'll go give Kyle's mother a call and see if we can meet for coffee today so we can talk about that day."

Dad was only a step behind. "I'll go call the transportation provider and see if we can organize some sort of sit-down with a representative, or maybe find a way to talk to the paramedic on duty."

It was a good place to start, but I also had one problem. "I... um... submitted a request for paperwork from the sheriff's office and I need to go pick it up later today."

Despite having been there when my mom's minivan was wrecked the prior day, my parents were surprisingly calm about the prospect. "I have to call Jerry and see about a tow for the van, but I'm sure your father can drive you to get whatever you need when it's ready."

Dad was already heading to the phone but he glanced back over his shoulder. "Just let me know when, Steffy."

I felt an encouraging squeeze on my shoulder and I glanced back to see Tom smiling down at me. "You see, Nekedeh? Family is strength."

The kitchen was a flurry of movement as my mom and dad went about helping me. I was just trying to figure out whether or not they had completely forgotten I was still there until my mom looked up from her notes and smiled. "Why don't you hang out and get a little more rest, sweety? I know you haven't been sleeping well. Your dad and I can take things from here and you can check back in at lunch and we'll let you know how things are coming."

She wasn't entirely wrong; the thought of getting enough help that I could actually spend the morning recovering from the manic activity as of late was a welcoming thought but, then again, there was still so much more to do and I could always rest once I returned home. The more I thought about it, in fact, the more I realized that the three of us could get even more done than my parents.

Tom's voice was still mellow, but it had a certain edge of pointed encouragement to it. "She is not wrong, Nekedeh... your inquiry is in good hands. Trust in them and take some time to tend to your own needs."

A small shiver ran up my spine when Medved's paw rested on my other shoulder, but, despite his physical presence he didn't nudge me in any direction. Addressing my mom, I--