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“So?” Vernon broke the silence. “How was that vacation of yours? Get a lot of rest?” He bit into a greasy slice of pizza.

“I spent a lot of time in bed, not much rest.” Leo looked down at his own slice. He really shouldn’t have offered to buy lunch.

Vernon’s eyes widened. “You sealed the deal, then? It’s official?”

It took a second for Leo to realize the terrible mistake he made. “Oh no. No, no, no.” He chuckled. “No. Nothing like that.” God, no. “She was... sick.” How else would you say it? Oh yeah, she was afraid of some sort of fog creature. Should be fine after a few hugs and kisses.

Vernon relaxed and took another bite. “Here I was thinking that day off did you some real good,” he said through a laugh. “Good thing you got off though. Perfect time to get some points in while she was ill.” He gave an OK with his hand. Leo really wish he didn’t put it like that. “Anything else happen? Feed her some soup? Eh?”

“If cereal counts, sure.” Leo took a bite of greasy pizza, making sure the mess dribbled down onto a flimsy foam plate. “She got over the illness pretty quick.”

Vernon tilted his head. “In less than a day? Hot damn. Impressive gal you got there.”

You don’t even know the half of it. “Nothing serious. She got through it alright. Probably a little more than alright.”

“Can you blame her? Imagine if it was the other way around. You get a cute gal to watch over you while you’re sick? Phew! Forget about it. I’d live with a permanent case of flu, buddy.” Leo’s thoughts snagged onto the idea of Missy taking care of him instead. She’d probably give it her best shot. Not the most accurate shot. A missed shot maybe. Oh boy would she try though. He could already imagine her trying to cook up something, giving up, and handing him a bottle of mayonnaise. Then, missing the whole point of an illness, she’d snuggle up next to him in bed with the idea of cheering him up. Unfortunately cheering up meant suffocation and horrible heat. His eyes would flick over to the hallway and... Oh no. A shimmer of orange and a beep of the smoke detector sounds off. Whoopsie! Forgot that stove! A bang would sound out not long after. Soup’s ready!

“I’d better wait a while on getting sick,” Leo replied.

“Honeymoon ain’t over yet, huh?”

The younger man thought on that for a moment. “I’d say the honeymoon has run its course.” It might have gone better than expected, actually. A bit more effort could be used on her part. Not the worst honeymoon he could’ve had with Missy. Also not something he’d ever expect to think.

“So she’s good then? What’s stopping you from tying the knot then?”

Leo paused. “The usual suspects.”

Vernon waved his hand and took another sloppy bite. “C’mon, we’ve been over those. Those are the kinda things you learn to love in a woman.”

“I know I sound like some kind of idiot saying this, but a relationship is a two way street. What does she provide for all of me?” All of me? What are you even saying?

“Well, I know I sound like an idiot saying this,” Vernon started, placing a hand on his chest, “but sometimes just being there for someone is enough. You not tossing her out on the asphalt is proof enough.” Leo’s brow twitched. He supposed in some way that was true, but at the same time there was the whole ‘cannot throw out for fear of death’ thing. Though Leo quickly realized there was more to their relationship as of late. Missy had come a long way, and now, she really was the only one in his life. The one he spent the most time with. The one he was closest with. He looked up at the fluorescent lights, the hum ringing through his head. That was just normal now.

Leo shrugged and defaulted to his usual Missy excuse. “I can’t send her anywhere else.”

“I’ve heard that one before.” Vernon took a few more bites. Leo nodded, as if it would lend more weight to the excuse. “You’ve still got a girl that’d stick her neck out just to spend time with you.”

“Stick her neck out?”

“You’ve been over all the problems you had with her. She’s on her last ‘strings’ right?” Vernon said.

“Something like that. I prefer a camel analogy though.”

“Straw, camel, whatever. I know you’re the guy who’d flip over smaller things.” Vernon paused. “Within reason, of course.” Of course.

“So? What’s your point?”

“What I’m saying is, she got over it quick, coulda been she was doing the whole thing just to spend time with you.”

Leo tilted his head. At least some of that was true. It was almost scary how quick Vernon was able to pick up on something like that. “Probably. What of it?”

“Points within points, huh? Let her down easy if you don’t want to go on her rollercoaster, alright? She doesn’t sound crazy, so you treat her nice.” Maybe not. She sure as hell straddled the line of crazy and eccentric.

“I’m more than nice. I’m good in that department, even.” Go on her rollercoaster? Leo smiled. That sounded like love alright. The smile fell flat. The thought of her trying to cozy up next to him for love was slightly worrying. A relationship like that wouldn’t work out for one, but if he did deny her, how bizarre would that make their already tenuous situation? He’d have to hurry up on getting her that room.

“You know, we do a lotta talking about this girl.” Finally, time for a different topic. “What’s she look like though?” Leo slightly deflated. “Now, I ain’t gonna ask for pictures, you treasure those. Just curious is all.”

Leo figured he should at least toss Vern a bone just so he doesn’t go wild with curiosity. “Curly hair. Black.” Hm. That about covered it. “Green eyes.”

“You one of those ‘I don’t see skin color’ guys too?” Loaded question didn’t cover it. This was an atom bomb. “No judgment of course!” Yeah, thanks. She was technically pitch black, but calling her black didn’t seem quite right for a human translation. Especially not with her upbringing.

Leo scratched the side of his head and looked to his plate. “Yeah, I’m a no skin color guy.” Something like that.

“Tall?”

“About as tall as me, I guess.” If she stood upright.

“Really? I was more of a shorter gal guy.”

“You talk like we’re already together.”

“I mean, you could be. Eventually.” Vernon shrugged. “I like the whole huggable aspect, you know? She like that?”

“I see. I suppose she’s huggable as is.” Describing her as huggable made her seem like some sort of stuffed toy. Probably not too far from the truth.

“Black curly hair, green eyes, huggable. Keeper right there.” Vernon laughed.

“For sure.”

_

Leo pulled into his driveway and turned the engine off. He tapped his finger on the steering wheel. The little chat he had earlier made going home seem like an impossible task. He was used to her stupid games, sure, but knowing now—or perhaps turning off his blinders—made the whole experience all that more bizarre. How was he supposed to react to it? Ignore it? Kill it where it stood? There wasn’t an option three. Just those two. Being there was enough, yeah, right. Leo picked up his leather case and stepped out of the car. A howl of wind rattled through the trees.

As he approached his house, Leo noticed a scratch along the side that chipped away the paint. Stupid branches. He’d have to tend to that later. Leo opened the front door and stepped inside, promptly locking it behind him. No Missy on the couch? No television blasting through the house? Leo snapped to his right to Missy swaying her hips in the kitchen. She was faced away but it was clear she was only clad in an apron, aside from the earbuds stuck firmly in her head. Leo set down his items on the couch and quickly went back to gawk at Missy’s work, which was an awkwardly assembled sub sandwich.

A few condiments and slathered knives were strewn about on the kitchen counter. Of course, a whole head of romaine and a package of meat were out too, wilting away in the open air. Leo walked up to Missy and tapped her on the shoulder. She croaked and hopped in surprise. Fortunately she wasn’t holding anything at the time, or that might’ve gone flying too. Missy turned to Leo with a frown, pulling out the earbuds. “You’re gonna give me and my four hearts an attack!” she said, working the croak out of her voice.

“I thought it was three?” Leo replied. Before she could say anything silly, Leo pointed out the mess in front of her. “What’s with the cooking? You washed your hands, right?”

“Well duh, ‘course I did. I’m always hearing you in my head going ‘you’re gonna die of AIDS if you don’t wash your hands!’” Missy held up the plate. “And this, my dear lion, is for you.” Leo furrowed his brow and took the plate. It was smattered with mustard and mayonnaise, but the sandwhich on top was technically in one piece. “Stop making that face, it’s a good meal, honest. I’m paying you back!”

“You really needed the clothes.”

“Not those!” Missy shook her hips from side to side. “And no, I don’t need ‘em.”

“So, then what?”

“Keeping me company. Y’know... for the fog.” She nodded.

“Oh.” There was something missing. “Thank you.” Right, that.

“I know that was super hard. You were all stiff like I was a ball of sticky mud.” She noticed, huh? Honesty was best, he suppposed. “But thanks! Go on, siddown, I wanna see you eat it.”

“Why?” Leo asked.

“I spent like forty minutes putting it together. Do you know how hard it is to put mayo on bread with hands like these?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t just use your fingers.” Leo looked down. “You used a knife though, right?”

“It wouldn’t be lion approved if I didn’t.”

Food was the last thing on Leo’s mind, especially with the pizza still roiling around in his gut. He had to admit he was curious what Missy’s cooking tasted like. Past a bowl of cereal, that is. Leo set down the plate and sat down. The monstrous chef instantly took the chair opposite him and propped her head up on her hands. “So?” Missy said, nodding. Leo decided to plunge in and took a bite of the meal. “Good, huh?”

“It’s not bad.” In fact, were it not for the haphazard placement of meat and cheese, it was strikingly close to something he made. Except better. Leo was slightly flabberghasted, but also glad the taste took his mind off some of the more unsavory thoughts about unholy relationships swirling about in his head.

“That’s like an A plus, plus, plus, plus coming from you. Especially for my first try!” She tilted her head. “OK, second, but that first one was pretty tasty too. Too much mayo though.”

“Where’d you get the recipe?”

“I just stole it from you. I hope it’s not secret.”

“No, it really isn’t. Good work.” He glanced over at the sink and noticed the MP3 player placed precariously on the counter edge. “Where’d you get that?”

“I went through your junk. I mean, you didn’t want it, right?”

“Right.” He took another bite. “What’s on there anyways?”

“A lotta dad rock stuff. Good, but still dad rock.”

“It’s not dad rock if I’m not a dad.”

“Yeah, but you will be, right?”

Leo almost snapped back with a ‘no’, but held his tongue. “There’s a lot of planning to do before something like that.”

“That explains the condoms,” Missy mumbled. She sat upright. “I mean... That I saw... In your drawer... When you were pulling out clothes, you know?” This was getting far off track.

Leo shook his head. “Anyways. Why not make yourself lunch? You’ve done pretty well so far.”

“It takes too long. I didn’t check a clock but it was like an hour!”

“An hour doing something productive, right?”

“I’m already cleaning stuff, you take care of the cooking. I like your food.”

“No McDonald’s though, huh?” Leo replied.

“That greasy drug? I would never.” Missy turned her head haughtily. “Buuuuut if you’re offering, I wouldn’t mind a hit or two.”

“You willing to work for it?”

“I knew being an adult would suck. Work, work, work. A girl as pretty as me shouldn’t have to work for a cheeseburger,” she said with a sigh.

“At least you won’t have to work for the sandwiches, right? These won’t kill you either.”

Missy smiled. “I guess it’s not bad having a personal chef. If only he’d listen to me. Anyways, sandwich turning out good?”

“Didn’t change the last time you asked, unless you slipped in something while I wasn’t looking.”

“Do I look like some sort of secret spy to you?”

Leo set his sandwich down. “You probably could sneak around pretty well, but undercover? I don’t think so.”

“Anyways, how was work?” Missy suddenly asked. Was there really nothing else going on she could ask about? He didn’t need to think about all the details he traded with Vernon right now.

“Work is work.” Leo picked his sandwich right back up to stuff his mouth.

“Yeah, work is work, I hear ya.” Missy ran a claw across the table. “Us working folk have it tough, nine to five. Nothing cool though, huh?” Leo shook his head, still munching on his meal. “Figures.”

Leo swallowed and immediately focused on steering the conversation away. Something to get her excited. “You know how I’ve been cleaning the storage room?”

“Yeah? You’re not gonna ask me to move boxes, are ya?”

“I will.” Leo nodded. “Since that’s gonna be your room.” Missy went wide eyed and sat upright. “I figure since, you know, you’re pulling your weight, you deserve your own space while you stay.” He made sure to stress that last part. “So all you have to do is take the last few boxes, and stack them in the corner of the exercise room.” He pointed behind him. “Got it?”

Missy leaned forward. Leo kept his eyes trained on hers, but couldn’t help but notice her chest out of the corner of his vision. Where was her ridiculous robe? All the more reason to get her started and out today. “I dunno, that sounds like a lotta work.”

“No, really, it’s only a few boxes. You just pick them up and put them elsewhere. That’s it.” He took another bite. “Not heavy. I’ll help move a few too.”

“No, I can do that stuff, but uh, but I mean, like, you’d have to buy a bed and... other stuff for a room.” Leo noticed her breathing becoming heavier. Maybe this was too exciting for her. It was probably a big deal.

“Shouldn’t have sprung that on you. Look, just think about it for a bit and we’ll talk about furniture later, OK?”

Missy leaned back into her chair. “Cool, cool.” She stared at the ceiling for a bit. “It’d have to be a pretty big bed. At least as big as yours. Foam. Has to be foam or I won’t sleep on it.”

“Can’t go back to spring at all?”

“I’ve been on spring beds and couches. Rather sleep on the cold floor than touch one ever again. I’ll rip off the tag if you get me one, then you’ll be in trouble.”

“Floor it is,” Leo said. A nice throw out rug and she’d be set.

“Also I want my own TV or I won’t sleep in there,” Missy continued. It sounded like a joke, but her face was entirely serious.

“We can get you one of those handheld TVs.” If those still existed.

“A big one. On the wall.”

Leo shook his head. “You’ll be vacuuming the rest of your life if you want to take on that debt.”

Missy looked back up to the ceiling. Her expression remained static and dull. “So, hey.”

“Yeah?”

“You wanna watch another movie tonight?”

_

Another night, another flick he could have probably gone on living without. It wasn’t terrible, but Rodney Dangerfield certainly lost his charm in movies. As a college guy no less. “Is that what college is really like?” Missy said as they lay there in the darkness. It was the first thing she said since the movie started, and only then did Leo notice.

“That’s a little vague, but I guess it got the general idea, yeah.”

“You had a roommate then?”

“Not a chance,” Leo replied. “I commuted to school. I’m not sharing a shower with an—” Ne glanced at Missy. “Well, I didn’t want to compete for a shower in the morning.”

“So then I’m like, your first roommate then, huh?” Missy said, gaining a twinge of giddiness to her voice. “How’d I do?” Leo let her correct herself. “OK, no, how’ve I been doing recently?”

“Probably better than what I’d get out of a college roommate.”

“That sounds like a compliment to me. Another one for the collection.”

“Uh, good work?” Leo turned away from Missy, settling into his standard sleeping position. “Good night.”

“Hey, wait, I got another question.”

Leo should’ve denied her then and there, but he wasn’t feeling that urge to sleep anyways. “Alright, if you have to.”

“I know you’ve had girlfriends, but like, you haven’t slept in the same bed with them a whole lot, right?”

Leo paused, trying to parse exactly what Missy was getting at. “I don’t know where to begin with a question like that.”

“What I’m saying is, I’m the only one who’s slept in the same bed as you for this long, right?”

He didn’t need to be reminded of that. “Thanks to a stupid bet, yes.” Leo pulled the sheets up to his neck. “Good night, Missy.”

“I was just thinking like, that must be sorta new for you. You let me do all this new stuff but not like I can do the same for you.”

“What’s your point?” Just get it out of the way now.

“Is it cool?”

“Cool?”

“You know, cool to have someone next to you?”

Leo bundled under the sheets more. While it was a new experience and the... tension had mostly worn off, it wasn’t something he’d say was a highlight of his day, or night. “It’s alright. Fun while it lasted, I guess.”

“While it lasted?” Missy asked. Leo could feel her inching up on him, scooting up with every word.

“You’ll be getting your own room and all since you earned it.”

Missy stopped moving, then said, “You sure that was enough chores for a room?”

“You saying they weren’t?” Leo asked, a chuckle working its way into his voice. “That doesn’t sound like something you’d say.”

“How many did it take for some shirts, huh?” Missy began inching forward again, soon he could feel her hot breath nip at his neck. “Doesn’t sound like something you’d say either.”

Leo looked back at her. “I’m sure you’ll be more productive if you have your own place to take care of.”

“Aren’t I doing that now?” Missy replied. Leo was pretty sure she stopped moving, but her large eyes only seemed to grow wider, almost pulling him in. Almost gave him a headache to look at, so he turned back forward again. Was she breathing heavy again? “This is where I hang out too. Like right now.”

“It’s not yours though. Don’t you want your own?”

“It’s mine.” Missy’s voice lowered. “I’m right here after all.” Leo furrowed his brow.

“Look, do you want the room or not?”

“Why should I get a new one? This one is fine isn’t it?”

“So is that a no?”

“Why do you want to kick me out so badly?” Missy’s voice had a bite to it now, which just annoyed Leo.

“I’m not kicking you out.” He shooed her off, trying to get her to back up. “It just makes sense if you’re going to stay here longer.”

“Yeah well, we already agreed that I get to sleep in this bed, so I’m not moving anywhere else.”

“Fine, you can have the bed. I was going to buy one either way.”

Leo’s shadowy roommate grumbled. He had half a mind to grumble back in mocking but realized how stupid that would be. At first he was surprised Missy didn’t want to have her own room to muck about in, then he realized this was part of that ‘sticking the neck out’ part Vernon had been telling him, or rather warning about, earlier. It’s not like it was terrible that she did want to spend time with him. He just needed his space for obvious, manly reasons. Missy’s nose pressed up against his neck, causing his back to arch in surprise. “Can’t we just stay like this?” Missy asked.

“Ease off. I don’t need you rubbing snot into my neck.”

“This is serious, Leo. I need someone to be there for me.”

Leo rolled his eyes and scooted forward. “I’ll be literally two rooms away, Missy. I’m not going to vanish.”

Missy followed right after him. “That’s not the same.” While she didn’t press back up against him again, he could almost feel her hover agonizingly close to his skin. She must’ve been in one of her moods.

“My phone is right there if you need it, you know. Don’t bug me about this.” Missy didn’t say a word in response, neither did she budge from her position. She only inhaled. And exhaled. Goosebumps pricked along his neck and traveled down his back. This was almost as bad as the damn fog. Leo covered up his neck with his sheet and closed his eyes. If she wanted to deal with her business, that was entirely up to her. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow when your head’s on straight.”

As much as Leo wanted tomorrow to come, it didn’t. He wasn’t entirely sure how long he has been laying there with his eyes closed, waiting for tomorrow to suddenly pop into existtence, but it was a while. His phone sat untouched on the night stand, so clearly Missy hadn’t snuck off either. He carefully glanced back. Missy had flipped away from him, now seemingly at peace. What was that feeling prodding at his brain now? That little shift of emotions to make him feel off, of course. Some sort of mix of pity and guilt. Missy had no reason to deny her own room other than to keep her spot by his side. For any other girl that would be some sort of Godsend. Missy however? No matter how much he noticed her physique, that would still be weird. Hell, the damn moonlight was already doing a good job of that.

Leo flipped back over. This was all sorts of messed up. Leo can’t like Missy. Missy can’t like anyone else. Anyone else would scream. Sort of like denying someone their one shot at romance. Unless they found another one of a kind Wolficus, trademark. One that just so happened to be civilized and just so happened to be in contact with humans. Maybe he’d have a nice girl Leo could hook up with and Missy could slob off with her true sweetheart. What a dream. They could talk about all the issues they had to deal with over dinner. Issues. Hm. Leo had always sort of figured Missy worked like a human, despite the obvious differences. He never gave much thought to whatever medical problems could arise in her.

On some level, Missy was probably fine. Whatever terrible diet she had before him hadn’t taken its toll. Yet. But if it did, or God forbid something else happened, what was he going to do about it? He knew basic first aid thanks to a few afternoons, though it wasn’t like he could just drive her to the hospital. Not without some serious persuasion, and even then only on Halloween. If he were to somehow get her to a trained physician, would it be better to take her to a vet or to a doctor? She had one heart, sure, he knew that much. The rest of her could’ve been a bizarre amalgamation of alien anatomy.

There was another needle poking at Leo’s thoughts. Fear. There would be virtually nothing he could do. He couldn’t help with a deep cut, or a serious illness, or a fracture. What would he do then? Leo froze and stared at the wall. OK, don’t panic. That’s not happening. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. It’s fine.

This is what happens when you break schedules.