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THE FINAL CUT (PT. 2)

"Then suddenly the phone rang. I never had the nerve to make the final cut..."

You stare down at a mostly lukewarm bowl of beef stew.

SSGT Beckett has raided the pantry and invaded the kitchens again to produce something flavorful and extraordinary.

All around you see wounded soldiers and their caretakers eating greedily, conversing happily among themselves, or politely asking for more.

Then there's you, Lotte Obmeyer.

While everyone else is getting on with the business of healing, you're mentally stuck ruminating on the recent past and poking old wounds.

How on Earth did it come to this?

"Just stop, Lotte!" said Pavel.

"I don't want to be around you right now."

Such simple requests. Perfectly normal for someone in bitter mourning.

To your guilt stricken mind and uneasy heart he may as well have said he never wants to see you again.

Your confrontation in the conference room plays out in your mind for perhaps the 11th time tonight.

What could you have done differently? Is there even a good way to tell someone that their mother has died?

If there is, you've never heard of it. Nothing could console you when Madder passed from your world.

You hoped against reality Pavel might show up for dinner. It's been several hours now.

Loneliness has set in, beyond just his absence. You don't know how to talk to these women.

You aren't like other people.

"He's not coming." You admit at last, and step out of the field hospital.

A pair of worn plastic chairs wait for you outside. As good a place as any to waste a few hours and avoid communication with others.

You've always liked the cold. It never bothered you like it does other women.

Or furless husbands who need your warmth to take away the pain.

So much for stargazing. Your mind has already returned to him.

Logically, you should have been able to pack this all away until tomorrow, yet every time you try to put him away in the drawers of your mind no suitable spot can be found.

There's too much about him to unpack, so many other boxes rearrange.

He sits in the middle of everything. Your world has begun to revolve around him.

Iron Major Obmeyer is in love, and utterly helpless before her husband.

What a pathetic wretch you've become.

Doc Roe quietly takes the cold bowl of stew from your hands and replaces it with a fresh one.

"Please eat, Major. I know it hurts, but he needs you to be strong for him." Roe says encouragingly. "You're still trying for a child, aren't you?"

You take a spoonful of beef and hold it in front of your nose. The scent is intoxicating in its complexity, and yet...

"It's strange. I feel famished, yet nothing is appetizing." You say ponderously, and force yourself to swallow a bite.

"There's this...compulsion inside me, demanding I seek him out and feed him first. I yearn to hold him, and mother him, and to take his pain away, yet I can't even comfort myself."

Neeva Roe takes a seat on the chair across from you, and dips a fresh roll of bread into her broth.

"Well, as a mother of 4, wife to 1, aunt to many, and sister to more, I think it's safe to say family is the root of this. Hear me out, if you would. I promise it won't take much time."

Instinct has you blanching at the idea of trusting some kwak, but you remind yourself you aren't in the Badlands anymore.

Healers know what they're doing in Bismarck.

"People are a lot like trees: we start small, and we grow into our environments. Makes sense, right? Though we all like to pretend we're lone oaks in a field of stars, the truth is we're all born under the protective shade of our parents."

Roe leans back in her seat, and looks off into the distance with a wistful lilt to her voice.

"Then one day you feel the Earth crack beneath your roots, and realize there's nothing there anymore. That's what's happened to him: His parents were holding him up all along."

She shakes her head, and looks at you apologetically. “I'm sorry, this metaphor is getting a bit muddled. Are you following along?"

You roll your eyes. “Proceed, Doctor."

None of this is new information. You've been in mourning before.

She eyes you incredulously, but proceeds anyway.

"Pavel's first instinct is to pull away and hide his wounds, and that's natural. His body is processing emotional pain much in the same way it does physical pain. When that phase passes however he's going to go look for a bandage."

Roe puts a hand on your shoulder. "And that's where you come in. You're his family now Lotte, he talks about you all the time. Nothing is ever going to replace his mother, but he's going to want you more than ever when he realizes just how much you're a part of him."

Kind words, things you've heard before, but…

"I made a promise." You murmur, and force down another spoonful of beef. It all tastes like dust, knowing that he's not eating with you. “A family for a family. I'm not sure he'll ever see me the same way again, even if he forgives me."

"Don't be so sure! Humans are fascinating creatures. We never give them enough credit for their fortitude and emotions. We were made for each other."

She stands up and points off in the distance, far across the dark old airfield where a lonely orange light burns at the top of an abandoned tower.

You stand out of your seat and gaps in astonishment.

Pavel is in the tower…?

A smile creeps across the edge of your face.

_ He's calling for you._

The snow leopard stretches daintily, yawns big, and strolls back into the hospital.

"Seems that's my cue to leave. Go get your tiger."

_ Pavel wants to see you…_

You start off down the runway, adjusting your hat and coat as you go.

It's always worth looking your best for him.

That excited expression he gets every time he sees your body never fails to send a tremble up your spine.

You're feeling it right now. It's coursing through you, the simple thought of his love making your heart race and spurring you forward.

You laugh eagerly as you pick up speed.

The smile hiding on the edge of your face spreads like wildfire across your whole body.

You're so happy right now you could scream. Pavel wants to see you because he loves you back!

He's all you're ever going to need in this world! No pain on Earth is too great, no burden too heavy so long as you have each other.

You laugh again and cheer shamelessly.

Let the whole world see! You don't care anymore!

Lotte Obmeyer loves her husband, and he loves her back!

Your loins blaze like an inferno.

_ Gott in Himmel,_ the makeup sex is going to be incredible.

For one brief, beautiful moment in time all is right and fine in the world.

A moment later, as it always does, everything goes wrong.

Your fault, naturally. The gods hate your smile.

A flash of light goes off at the top of Pavel's tower, followed a split second later by the familiar crack of 9mm ammunition.

No…

You come to a halt.

No, that can't be right.

Pavel turned on a flashlight. You're just hearing things.

No one on Earth has any reason to–

Two more flashes, two more bangs.

It's undeniable now. Someone is trying to hurt your husband and there's only one viable suspect.

You bare your teeth as your eye twitches in apoplexy.

" GOLL. "

Utter contempt replaces longing as you burst into a full tilt sprint towards the entrance.

Pavel rejects her one last time, and she opts to MURDER HIM?!

4500 feet of tarmac separate you from your husband. Everything you have goes into your legs, and it's still not fast enough.

Of all the horrible, cruel, heartless and vain things Doreen could do, you never imagined she could sink so low as to actually hurt him!

Mentally you beat yourself for underestimating her.

The cow was always disarming in her incompetence.

Now Pavel is at risk and maybe even hurt, and you…

You clench your fists.

No more excuses.

Let High Command complain. Let Cheyenne bluster and scream.

_ Doreen Goll dies tonight._

Your shoulder touches the base of the tower, and you come to a halt just outside the main entrance.

Preparations start by mentally by counting off what you know.

6 rounds in your .44 magnum

5 floors to the top of the tower

4 landings, all potential ambush sites

3 gunshots from a 9mm handgun

2 inside at a minimum

1 chance to save your husband, and no time to delay.

You take up your sidearm in your right hand, your emergency flashlight in your left, and kick in the front door.

Nothing waits in the reception room at the base of the tower, though you do detect the familiar odor of an obese, sweat-logged bovine in denial about her age.

"Who else would be stupid enough to wear perfume during a kidnapping?" You say angrily, and make for the emergency stairwell.

Your flashlight cuts a narrow cone of visibility through the pitch darkness, past the old abandoned elevator, and you begin your ascent to the summit.

The pungent scent of sweat mixes nauseatingly with burnt nitrous and blood the further up you climb.

The voice of reason in your head tells you to slow down, to check every corner and to prepare to encounter resistance, but your heart refuses to listen.

The time for caution is over.

Caution dragged you into this nightmare. Caution let you underestimate Inspector Goll, and warned you to never lay a hand on her, even after every insult you endured.

It's time to get pissed.

Something heavy clatters against the railing the next landing up.

You pull the hammer of your pistol, take a deep breath, and spin around to shine your flashlight up the stairwell.

"IDENTIFY YOURSELF! " You shout commandingly. “THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING!"

No one responds.

Boldy, impulsively, you charge up the next rung of stairs, prepared to gun down whatever gets in your way.

A familiar brown bunny waits for you on the final landing.

"Becket?!"

Your friend stumbles around, visibly dazed, then charges at you despite the blood running down her face.

"STOP!" She screams, swinging her knife wildly. “ I WON'T LET YOU TAKE HIM!"

You parry with your offhand without much difficulty, but BB tries again anyways.

There's a massive dent in the front of her cracked helmet, in all likelihood from one of the gunshots you heard earlier.

"Staff Sergeant, it's Lotte! Put the knife down, PLEASE!" You shout pleadingly, but she doesn't seem to know who you are or where she is.

"He's not y-yours! He–!"

_ "She's concussed!"_ You realize, and shine the flashlight directly in her face.

Only one big, brown eye shines back at you. A piece of green shrapnel is wedged in the other.

"NGGAH! STOP, STOP IT HURTS!" She shouts pitifully, and drops the knife to cover her face. “You can't… You can't have him!"

Beckett stumbles backwards dangerously, but you catch her before she can fall.

"I'm here, BB." You whisper, sitting down and cradling her as best you can. “It's Lotte, Beckett. Stand down."

Tears and blood roll down your only friend's face. “I can't. I–I have to–" she stammers, “Where am I? I was– I was bringing Pavel dinner, but I couldn't see anything."

You spy a discarded tray and empty bowl of soup behind her on the landing.

"My head hurts. I–"

Beckett tears her helmet off and hurls it down the stairs. There's missing fur and a sickening bruise where the bullet hit.

“ I hate her, Lotte! You're not 'sposed to hate people, but I hate her! She was hurting him and she didn't care!"

You shush BB quietly, and gather her up in your arms.

"You've done more than I could have ever asked, Beckett. Pavel's going to be okay."

The little bunny closes her good eye, gives out at last, and slumps against your shoulder.

"I need to go get Goll. Why are you stopping me…?"

"Because you're wounded, Staff Sergeant. At ease...I'm relieving you of duty."

BB valiantly takes up your flashlight, and soon you're out the front door before you even realize where your legs were carrying you.

An uproar of concerned shouts rises in the distance, fast approaching your position, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

Help is coming.

"MEDIC!"

The little bunny in your arms stirs and grips your shirt weakly in her hand. "Where's Pavel, Lotte? He needs dinner..."

A badger from Dog Company staggers back when she gets a good look at you.

"Chairwoman's ghost, we've got wounded! Bring up the stretcher!" Sergeant Bishop shouts, and she helps you prepare Beckett for evac.

Her hand grabs your wrist before they can carry her away. “Lotte… they didn't let her bring her car."

It takes a moment for you to understand what she means, but you get running again once you do.

If Goll couldn't bring her car then she has to take one from the motorpool!

You sprint as fast as your legs will move, past a hundred concerned troopers and through the main terminal without stopping.

Goll would need to go the long way round the terminal to reach the parking lot without being detected. There's still a chance she's on base!

You hang a hard left out the front entrance and race for the side lot further back where command has most of the vehicles stored.

Finding no obvious clues, you close your eyes, get down on one knee, and open your ears.

Long experience tracking across the Badlands has taught you how to filter out background noise and focus on what's important.

Listen for the sound of a car door opening, or the thrum of an engine.

There has to be something…

You were about to give up and try something else when you managed to parse the sound of someone being slapped through the rising chaos on base.

"Why are you doing this?" Someone asks weakly. “You're hurting me…"

There's a frustrated growl and another painful slap.

"Because you won't stop lying!"

Anger rises and blood pounds in your ear.

Southeast, by the gate leading out onto the highway.

You break into a run again, rounding the last corner just in time to see Inspector Goll handcuff your husband to the console in the cab of an old military truck.

Doreen locks eyes with you like a feral deer caught in the open.

Then the truck's headlights go on and she dons an evil, hateful smile.

A split second reaction saves you from being run over as the cow roars past you and out onto the highway.

Wasting no time, you bolt towards the nearest vehicle, a pursuit special from the Göktürk's personal garage, and shatter the driver's side window with your fist.

All it takes is a screwdriver from your pocket to start the engine. Before-World car keys are a liability in a wasteland without reliable replacements.

The massive engine jutting from the hood roars to life and the hunt begins.

You cut a hard left out of the parking lot, back towards the old highway leading into Riverton.

If she had any understanding of the real world Doreen would try to lose you on the unmapped dirt roads surrounding town.

Inspector Goll, however, is as short sighted as she is greedy; The City is where she wants to be, and she'll take the highway all the way there if she can.

You have half her weight, triple the horsepower, and no fear of dying.

It doesn't take you long to close the distance.

Know your enemy. Inspector Goll's truck is overly top-heavy, and she's riding on bald tires. Use this to your advantage.

You pull up behind Doreen, revving the engine loudly and feigning an attempt to overtake.

Goll takes the bait, swerving to try and drive you off the road. You couldn't have asked for easier prey.

A hard tap to her back tire sends her spinning out of control and crashing into the side of an abandoned gas station.

Your heart jumps in terror, screaming at you to slam the breaks immediately.

Pavel is in there you idiot!

You leap out of the driver's seat and race to the decrepit truck, moments before the engine revs and Goll starts cutting the wheel.

With less than a second to spare you fling the door open and grab the wheel.

"GIVE HIM BACK!" You bellow.

"HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!" Goll screams back, and reaches for the gun in her pocket.

Pavel gets to it first.

His foot collides with her face and you finally drag the fat cow out by her hair, hurling her onto the pavement.

"Just try it!" She shouts. “I told them everything about you and the murderers who run this place! This is OUR STATE AND YOU DON'T–!"

You ignore her and start swinging, hand over hand, fist over fist, straddling Doreen as you pummel her again and again and AGAIN.

Blood sprays every which way.

Teeth sail across the ground.

Declarations of hatred and immature snipes at your appearance give way to cries for mercy and pained gurgles in between blows.

The insanity only passes once the pain in your knuckles becomes too extreme to ignore.

You stand up and silently examine the gore coating your hands.

It's strange…you feel no arousal this time.

Only the burden of an incomplete task on your shoulders.

"Where are the keys to his cuffs?" You ask impassively.

Goll's bloody pulp chokes defiantly on a mouthful of blood and rolls over.

"Front pocket then."

Pavel waits for you inside the truck, injured but alive.

His right hand is cuffed to a plastic handle on the roof of the cab, while his left holds Doreen's pistol in a vice grip.

"Where is she, Lotte?" He asks in a shaky voice. “I'm going to kill her."

Many of his fingers are broken, but he holds on anyways.

How can he endure through such pain?

You crawl into the front seat and gently reach out for him.

"Put the gun away, Pavel. Don't…"

Pavel pulls back from you defensively. “No!" He says bitterly. “I'm DONE Lotte! I won't live through this just to see her walk away again!"

Tears of frustration roll down Pavel's face.

"She killed BB, Lotte. She has to die this time."

It rends your heart to see him like this, but you can't let him kill her.

"Beckett is alive, Pavel. She's in the hospital."

His eyes widen, and you slip the gun out of his limp hand. “You're a healer, Starlight. It's what makes you greater than me. Don't pollute your soul with killing…"

A single kiss takes away what fight he has left.

"I'll handle this."

Your soul was ruined a long time ago.

The Army of the Anthro and Human State of Bismarck is an old and venerable institution, predating even the First Chairwoman.

It has developed many distinct traditions throughout the years, including one for the disposal of rapists and seductresses from within.

You find a full jerrycan of gasoline tied in the back of the truck.

Goll loses her mind when she realizes what you have planned.

"NOOOoooOoo! Pavel, stop her PLEASE!" She wails as you douse her in fuel. “I DON'T DESERVE THIS!"

"What do you deserve then?" You ask calmly. “Other people's husbands, or bribes? What has a lifetime of greed and selfishness entitled you to if not this?"

"A husband!" she declares through a mouth of broken teeth. “All my most beautiful years were wasted playing nice and waiting for a human! Why should you get to buy him when I love him?!"

You set the fuel aside and light one final cigarette, the last of your life. “Because you've never gone anywhere you couldn't hide behind a desk or skim off the top from better women. Why would we ever reward you?"

A puff of smoke and vapor floats off into the night. “It is true I didn't respect him in the beginning. I thought I had to treat him like a pet to be a real anthro, but I have learned better. You on the other hand have never respected him, and never will."

Goll lowers her head in regret, spilling tears across the pavement.

"He would've loved me if he just gave me a chance. I felt it the day we met…"

"Perhaps" is all you can say on the matter.

You finish your cigarette, take up the can of gasoline, and flick the smoldering butt onto the ground.

The fuel ignites.

Doreen Goll goes up in flames, shrieking in agony as she finally gets what's owed.

You turn your head to see Pavel watching from a distance.

You're distracted however by a curious noise piping up from inside Goll's truck.

Someone is trying to hail her over the old CB radio.

"--tight inspector, rescue is en route. What is your location? Please respond, over."

You take up the receiver.

"Inspector Goll is unavailable. Relay your message to me."

Inspector-Prosecutor DeWitt pales on the other end of the line.

“Who is this? You're not the boy!"

"I'm Doreen's assistant. You can talk to me."

The radio goes silent.

Your eyes meet Pavel's again.

He looks…apprehensive. As if he never understood what killing would mean.

You stare for some time together at Goll's smoldering corpse.

"I'm so sorry dearest. I don't know what to say."

He holds his blue and purple hands out. It's all he can do for the pain.

"It's…okay."

You put the car in gear and drive off.

It's not okay. Nothing you can say would ever make this right.

And yet…

You feel a set of lips touch your cheek.

"I knew you'd come for me, zaichenya. I never doubted it."

There's always hope so long as he's nearby.