Pokemon Mayhem 6
Story by Wisk_Sith_Kulux on SoFurry
Well I just gave up, i was going to go back through these and clean them up a little bit, but here you go. Now you get to see one when I don't even know what I'm was typing when i was younger.
Pokemon Mayhem
Episode 6
Hello welcome to another episode of Pokemon Mayhem. Well I … awww fuck, screw this.
Enter disclaimer: I have a disclaimer…? Oh…yeah, I do well hold on while I bring it up…………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………… Slow piece of shit computer …………………………… ……………………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………………… DAMN IT WHY WON’T IT COME UP!!! …………… …………………… *Computer Error!* ……………*Self-destructed is imminent* ……
*5…4…2…* TWO WHAT HAPPENED TO THREE!!! … *Just kidding*…Screw this. (pulls out a sledgehammer and smashes it) Okay, let me try this on my new computer.…………………
You must be 18 or older to read this. Blah Blah Pokemon belongs to
Nintendo and blah blah and all that other legal stuff. So I will stop talking so you can get to the story. Hell, you probable already past this part. Good for you, on With the FUCKIN' STORY!
WOW!!! IT WORKED, YAY!!!
Evil: Hey guy’s come here I need to tell you something.
Everyone on the set walks over, Earl was on speaker phone and Ash was yelling at Earl asking where the fuck he was. So due to Ash’s non-stop yelling and screaming, everyone shot him.
Evil: O…kay now that’s out of the way I have some good news * moans and groans can be heard in the back* and some bad news.
*Lots of moans and groans can be heard* Okay, the good news is this might be the last episode unless I can figure out where all the funds have just disappeared too.
ALL: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
Evil: The bad news however is before I go; I’m going to make your lives a living hell.
Ash’s ghost: Like you haven’t already done that.
Evil: Go to hell.
Ash’s ghost: Been there … … Wait still here … …
Evil: Well anyway…
Just then the Digi-destine walk in…
Singing *Digimon, go monster…*
Evil: Hey, not now you guys, I’m busy. GO AWAY!
Tai: Hey! Don’t you know who we are?!
Suddenly, a rather large missile falls from the sky and blows Tai & Co. to atoms.
Evil: Anyways, like I was saying… We’re short on cash so…
Ash: So what?
Evil: So you die now!
Ash: Heads up, smart-guy! I’m already dead! What more can you possibly do to me?
Evil: Who you going to call?
Cast: GHOST-BURSTERS…Uhm…. WE MEAN -BUSTERS!!!!
Emerging from the shadows, as if awaiting their cue, comes Peter and Ray, two of the Ghostbusters! They then charge after Ash, who runs away screaming, destroying all in their wake with their proton-accelerators.
Evil: I ain’t afraid of no ghost! By the way, the rest of you will have to take pay cuts.
Cast: Pay cuts? You mean we were supposed to have been paid up to now??
Evil: Oh, yeah. Never mind then. Now the entirety of our budget either went into porno… or hot dogs, that means we’ll have to choose one to cut back on…
Cast: HOTDOGS!!!
Evil: Alrighty then… Uhm… hey, wasn’t there a gigantic mutant porno running around awhile back?
Brock: Yeah… I took care of that already.
Evil: Oh, yeah? How?
Brock: Uhm… you don’t wanna know. Lets just say, It’s all wet…
Evil: *Goes off to be sick*
Brock: What’s wrong with him? Hey, what’s that noise?
Pikachu: Evil puking?
Brock: Not that sound...
A motorcycle can be heard in the distance…
Brock: That sound.
Evil (back from puking): I’d know that sound anywhere! That’s Earls bike!
And so it was, Earl rode back onto the set (right through Evils’ trailer) w/ Ashs’ Mom (plus Team Rocket trailing behind in a Cubone shaped car).
Evil (weakly): My… trailer…damn it…
Ash (still fleeing): Mom? What are you doing with HIM?!
Mom: Now, now Ash. That is no way to greet you’re new father.
Utter silence…
All: … … … … …
Ash stops and quickly turns into a mass of sputtering jelly, allowing Ray and Peter to catch him. While everyone, but Evil stands in shock (Evil who had fainted before Ash asked his question).
Kirk: What I don’t understand is…
Spock: What we’re doing here…
Kirk then starts chasing Spock with phaser and calls of “Die pointy eared-bastard!!”
Earl: What? No one’s going to congratulate us on our marriage? That really ticks me off!
Every one then rushes Earl, now eager, not to congratulate him, but to try to prevent the inevitable by appeasing him, but it was too late as he draws his pistols, and begins shooting the hapless members of the cast and crew, with the exceptions of Evil, Team Rocket and his new bride. The blood of many people and Pokemon splatter the walls and floors before being blown to bits by the grenades Ash's Mom gleefully throws into the crowds.
*
Evil: * * * Look… Stars…
* *
M.M.: He doesn’t look so good.
Then a special guest enters… He is the one and only… One liner Big Explosion.
Big Explosion: BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
Bob: What was that all…BOOM!
Bob is in little pieces.
Evil: My…only…shred…of…sanity…
M.M: Boy I bet our studio audience is enjoying this.
Audience:…………………… H…E…L…
They’re people everywhere in bits and pieces a few of them still alive, but with fatal wounds. Some bodies are still twitching.
M.M: WOW!! I never seen them so happy in my life.
Then somebody is knocking at the studio front door.
???: Hello. Is anyone here?
Evil: *Looks up* Oh… Yeah… the… Producers…come…in?
The door collapse and six producers walk in *BOOM* (Clearing throat) five producers walk in and jaws drop to the floor.
Evil: *Stands up* (in a dull voice) Welcome to my studio where we do the show Pokemon Mayhem.
Producers: *Still Stunned* Hsdbasdbsjkdbsdbdbjs……………………
M.M: What the hell are their problems? *Throws a grenade at nothing in particular*
Earl: I have no clue.
Ash’s Mom: Maybe they’re thirsty?
Producer #1: WHAT THE #!$%*@# IS GOING ON HERE?
American Censer: No cursing for you.
Voice out of nowhere: HAHA!!
V.O.R. comes and kills the Voice out of nowhere.
V.O.R.: How dare you try to replace me. Wait… Never mind. *Leaves*
Producer #1: I’m still waiting for an answer…
Earl: What? You guys still here?
Producer #2: Yes, we’re still here. You won’t scare us off that easily.
Cast: *Gasp*
M.M.: Is that a challenge?
Earl: *Spits* Sounded like one to me.
One of the producers run off terrified screaming like a sissy little girl.
M.M.: Guess you’re wrong.
Earl:…… (ROFL) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT A LOSER!!!!
M.M.: Then there were four.
Producer #3: Number Five always was a wuss.
Evil: So, uh would you guys like a-ah tour?
Producer #1(thinking): Uhm...uh, sure.
Evil: This crater here use to be the bathroom, which bother me cuz I really have to go.
Earl: Why don’t you do what I do and go behind that building over there.
Evil: That building over there is my trailer.
Earl: Oh, yeah. *walks off*
Evil: *Sigh* Whatever. Anyway, this smoldering crater-
Producer #2: Uh excuse me, Mister Evil, was it? Are, uh, any of the buildings still intact?
M.M.: *Sneaking up on producer #2* BOOOOO!!!
Producer #2 has a heart attack and falls over dead, while number 4 drizzles piss down his pant legs and passes out.
Earl: Hey! I didn’t know producer had hearts to get attacks.
Ash’s Mom (who will now be referred by her real name- as best as we can spell it-Delia): We Learn a new thing every day.
V.O.R: Wait weren't you calling her by name at certain parts in earlier episodes?
Earl: Details, Details.
M.M.: Then there was two.
Producer #1: *looks at #2 and #4* Useless Bastards!
Producer #3: *In wussy voice* I’m scared.
Producer #1 pulls out a snub nosed revolver and shoots Producer #3 in the head.
Delia: *in a scolding manner* Now that wasn’t very nice!
M.M.: Then there is one.
Producer #1 *points pistol at M.M.*: STOP SAYING THAT!!!!!!!
Delia hits Producer #1 in back of the head with a wooden baseball bat.
M.M.: Now who’s not being sporting?
Delia: *wave baseball bat at M.M.* You want to be next!!!!!
M.M.:No ma’am! By the way... then there was none.
Earl: Anyone seen where Evil went?
Just as Earl finishes his question, a black stretch limo pulls up near him, and Evil opens up one of the back doors.
Evil: Hurry up Earl, we’re getting the fuck out of here, grab M.M. and your family and GET IN THE GODDAMN CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ash: What about the people you put in the pit?
Evil: FUCK'EM!!!!!!
From the Pit: NOOOO!!!! PLEASE TAKE US WITH YOU!!!!
Evil(going red in the face): FUCK OFF!!!!
Earl(as he, his family and M.M. are getting into the limo):Whatever happened to the Voice of Reason?
V.O.R.(from front of limo): I'm driving and what do you mean what happen to me? Whatever, hurry up before Evil has an aneurysm.
The limo is pulling out of the smoldering lot before Earl even closes the door. All that could be seen(if any of them bothered looking back) was Spock being chased by a psychotic Kirk wielding a large battleaxe.
THE END
(OH GOD, PLEASE LET IT BE THE END)!
TO BE CONTINUED IN...
DIGIMON MAYHEM EPISODE 1!!!
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!