Under the Waning Moon.
Story by lantheorc on SoFurry
This week I bring you all another prompt from the Writing Corner a telegram writing group I joined back in the first quarter of the year. This week's prompt was: Pick a song you like and write a story about it. Perhaps how it makes you feel, maybe you take the words literally. Mention what song it was that inspired it before the story (Or after, and you can see if people figure it out before they finish).
I put down the phone with apprehension, the sound of your voice haunting my ears seconds after the final beep had put the call to an end. Your bright smile claiming my phone’s screen until it turned off with a dry click. The warm happiness that your call had brought me, painfully mingling with the cold loneliness your absence evoked in me. As I laid in the hotel’s bed, clutching a pillow close to my chest, the smile you loved so much tainted with sadness, I couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to have you in my arms again; to have the softness of your fur tickling my skin; to enjoy the rumble of your chest as you talked; to try the taste of your lips once more. I had only the memories of our time together and the strange aroma of the room, a mix of mint and cedar, only served to fan the flames of longing in my heart. It’s been months since the last time we were together, years since we could share our love openly; the need to keep up appearances had robbed us of even that. All this would be enough to drive a lesser person over the edge, to curse the world and steal you away from it all. But you would never be happy with that life; it would eat at you every day, gnawing at your resolve, eating you until only a husk of your former self remained, lifeless and grim. Then you would cave in and return to the fray, ready to play martyr and take all the blame upon yourself. I knew you all too well to deceive myself and so I kept on the act our duties demanded of us, waiting for the day it all would change, when we would be free to share our love again.
Every time you called, my heart would soar and break at the same time; the urge to reaffirm my love for you hanging at the tip of my tongue, but I’d always hold it back, putting on the mask we both had carefully designed. Then, we our talk would shift to business; I’d brief you on my findings and my thoughts, you would lay your plans before me, seeking to grasp a brighter future for us; all along we would include our little codes, our little messages. There was the word we used to show concern, the tag line to show our love, the phrase to reassure the other and the dreaded but seldom used quote to reveal we were in danger. It was all a gamble, we both knew it, but you always made it seem like one big act of your design and one you directed with frightening ease, changing it from time to time to avoid detection. Yet, it would always end the same way: you would set a date for the next call and remind me to be careful, a bit of small talk would follow, then I’d make a stupid joke and you would hang up.
If you could only see how the smile you loved so much is now tainted by the weight of our deception, how the cheerful pink of my face has fled from my features, replaced with a dull worn-out look. I’m sure it would break your heart. The years hasn’t been kind with us, the constant lying and worrying have taken their tolls on us. I know you try to hide it, perhaps even more than I do, but that new edge to your voice, those wistful tones in your voice, they all betray your facade. Nowadays, whenever I look at the mirror and I see those empty black eyes, that gaunt snout and pale skin I feel the doubts assault my confidence.
“What does he look in me? How could I let myself go like this? Will he hate me when we meet again?” I would think over and over again, the look of reproach from the mirror feeding my fears. I know you used to say you’d love me no matter how I looked and that it made no difference to you as long as I remained me. I know it is foolish and vain; I know that just one question would set it all at ease but a part of me, an old part of me, is afraid of losing you after all we have gone through. The darkness in the room almost feeding the darkness in me.
Whenever I got like this, when I felt like the hope I had in us and our mission was about to snap, I’d look up the images of you, the old ones and the new ones, the changes bringing up the memories of our time together and banishing the fears crept in my soul. All those words, all those promises, all those secrets only I knew. From the moments when we were young and fearful, trading kisses behind closed doors, to the travels we did to places so alien they might as well be pulled out from a book and ending in our endless struggle to make a place for ourselves in this world. The love and the trust, the anger and the sadness, the pain and the joy; it all mixed together into the trainwreck that is our relationship. It’s been hard my love, we both have suffered so much, living a nightmare for the sake of the other and somehow, against all reason, I wouldn’t change a day. I can almost hear you say what a hopeless romantic I am, your hands taking a hold of mine, a soft kiss planted on my lips. I wonder if you ever wondered why I go along with your crazy plans and reckless endeavors; knowing you, you must have already beat that subject to death, perhaps with quite a bit of cursing on your part. But, if you ever asked me, I know what my answer would be:
“When I’m with you, our dreams don’t seem that far away.”
Thanks for reading the story, I hope you enjoyed it. Now, the song used for this prompt was My Selene by Sonata Artica . Don't forget to leave your thoughts int he comments below.