FSE

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She awoke, slowly. Joshua was nearby, fiddling with a computer. Her plates flexed, stretching them.

“Your computers are nonsense,” he said.

“For good reason. Is there a reason for your tampering?”

“Tampering. That’s my job description. No, I was looking for a way to grab schematics. That’s what you wanted, right? The sooner we get out, the better. Though I don’t know what the hell any of this does.”

She stood up for another stretch, rolling her exoskeleton along with her joints, then hovered nearby to watch him work.

“Those are colors.”

“I can see that.” He turned to look at her. “Hell, you can probably see that.”

“You cannot see that.” She took a step forward. “Each color represents a general idea and is modified by the next by its shade. You cannot see most of them at all.”

“That sounds so stupidly complex I’m not even going to ask.”

“Have you decided to hand over access?”

“Do you think everything that comes out of my mouth is a lie?”

“It is not a misguided judgment.” Her head turned.

“I get it. Your guys want to kill me. My guys want to kill you. Didn’t you say we have to cooperate? Let’s cooperate and never talk about it again.”

“Do you have to paint your words with violence?”

“Let’s go over it.” One finger. “Nearly lost my arm.” Two fingers. “I’m with a bug who probably still wants to kill me.” Three fingers. “Stuck in space. Let me be angry, alright?” He mumbled something afterward about high and mighty. “Go fix my suit or something.”

The woman walked away, not wanting to prod him further and stood in front of his suit. That garish, orange thing that was an assault on her senses. She picked it up. All available suits for her kind were gone, frittered away on a suicidal assault. Not so keen on living. True. Commanding culture had squeezed life out of them. Her maw rubbed against itself. Yet it would not have been this way were it not for their war.

It was so strange seeing a human suit without the blemishes of soldier’s ranking. If they weren’t smart, they were certainly proud, and there had to be some admiration in that front. Though, without being in the military, was he proud? He certainly carried himself as such, she figured. Something told her that even if he were torn limb from limb, he would still carry himself smugly.

Setting her thoughts aside, she moved to a nearby emergency tool cabinet and opened it. Sealant would help.

“You do know what you’re doing, right?” the man asked.

“I am not an engineer. I should know regardless,” she replied.

“You were a pilot, then?”

“No.”

“Ground soldier.”

“No.”

“Oh so you’re a scientist then.” He looked up and down her. Those large orbs were practically grinding up against her exoskeleton. “You don’t look like one.”

“In a limited understanding. I am a researcher. I am merely trained properly in all fields.”

“So you can kill me after all.”

“Untrained or not. Yes.” She pulled out the sealant and pinched the suit together. “Hold this together.”

“Why?”

“You portray yourself as strong. That does not extend to the vacuum of space. Another hand would help secure this.”

His mildly amused expression melted away and he nodded. He did as he was told. Not as precisely as she would have wanted, but it would do. The suit held and he withdrew his hand. The woman then pressed a small meter against it. A brilliant blue along the side of the device confirmed with her that it was properly sealed. No way to test it until the hour of reckoning but that was one less issue to worry about.

“And that’s going to keep my insides in?” Joshua asked.

“It will have to. Do you have another idea to reach your ship?”

“Not really, no. Fine. I guess I’ll give it a shot. I die in here or I die out there.” He shrugged. “Better view out there, I guess.” He tapped on the sealant, as if that would somehow test its mettle.

“You made it out. You will be able to make it in. Provided you do not trigger any more reactions.”

“Would you stop bringing that up? Do you think I like being reminded about it?” Joshua shook his head. “And would you stop talking like a text book? You’re getting seriously annoying.” He rubbed his neck.

Text book? Not entirely wrong. “Irrelevant. What tools did you bring with?” She riffled through the suit’s pockets, digging out what implements he had. They were clearly weathered, having nicks in their metal and covered in all sorts of grime. She briefly wondered how humans did anything without worrying about all the dirt permeating their thin outer layer of skin.

“Don’t touch those.” Joshua pulled the suit over to him. “Let me handle this part.”

“You know how to remove certain parts of the ship?” she asked.

“I wouldn’t be out here if I couldn’t pull shit out, right?” He huffed.

She decided against pointing out yet again that he was in pain for that very reason. Though it was unlikely his ship was similarly fitted to explode upon violent reaction. Instead, she moved to another console and consulted with it, noting which parts of her ship were damaged. The closest equivalents to his own ship should be easy enough to pry loose.

“Can you tell me what I’m looking at? I don’t read colors.”

“Unfortunate. Your colors read like an odd tapestry.”

Joshua frowned. The insectoid woman ran her fingers around the screen, causing the colors to ripple.

“The main space manipulation drive requires one of its spatial coordinators. A ‘pulsor’ as you would know it. A ‘pin-pointer.’ ”

“What do they look like?”

She tapped on the screen, producing renders of the devices. Trying to fit it to colors that he could better perceive was difficult, but she managed.

“I’ve seen those. I can get it done.”

“I will assist you.”

“You have a radio?”

“Similar.” She moved back to his cot and opened another container, pulling out two metallic ovals. “These.” Then she walked right back and held one up to Joshua, who reflexively pulled back.

“Easy with the claws.”

“I will demonstrate. Your anatomy is different. Human speech will work regardless.” She pressed the device to her throat, sticking it, and then handed the other to Joshua.

The man stared at it for a while, then pressed it into the side of his neck. Less discomfort, she supposed. She nodded and chittered something in her language. He winced and shook his head.

“Say something in English! I feel like I had a bug crawl into my body.”

“So be it.”

“That’s better.”

It was curious how his words rang through her. Human words rang deeper, vibrating through her body in an odd way.

He pried the device off and set it down. “So you’re going to talk into my head like that? Better than nothing, I guess.”

“Now we wait on your physical form to mend itself.”

“And how long is that going to take?”

She took a few steps toward him. “Remain still.” Gently, she picked up his wounded arm and moved it. He winced and she set it back down. “In a few days, perhaps. Your muscles are healing.”

“A few days? Just my luck.”

“Would you prefer it be a month?”

“You’ve been here for a month?”

“If I recall your dates correctly.”

“Yeah, well, shouldn’t have picked a fight with us.” He moved back to his bed and sat down.

“Picked a fight? We were here to study the atmospheric reactions of spatial warping.”

“OK, I get it.”

“Your soldiers saw it pertinent to attack.”

“I get it!”

“We fought back. Expertly. That is why I only remain!”

“Back up!”

In her responses, the woman had inadvertently walked toward him and was now towering over where he sat.

“Do not place blame so poorly.” She settled her horns back down. There was an elevated breathing and heart rate. It was practically pounding out of him, almost threatening to shake him loose. A part of her wanted to make amends, but he deserved it.

With nothing better to do, she moved to staring out the front of the ship, watching the stars. Where would she go when the plan worked? If it worked, rather. To move to the uncharted stars in the void? A functional ship gave her that possibility. Back to her own kind would be… Unwelcoming. Certainly the same with the humans for other reasons.

“You have anything to eat?” Joshua asked.

Without a word, the woman moved to her sensor station and plucked a canister of food, tossing it over to his side.

“What is this?” he asked.

“Food.”

He didn’t respond. Likely he knew that his choice was that or starvation. As far as she knew it wouldn’t be poisonous. Perhaps not as palatable. She watched him eat out of the can. It wasn’t the most alien anatomy. She had similar one-jawed creatures on her own planet, but it seemed so wild and violent. One gnashing maw. Humans varied from awkwardly inoffensive to violent in one simple motion.

She tore into a can, herself. His voracious eating was infectious.

_

The solitary life had been disrupted by this human. While they didn’t talk, much, she could still feel him nearby on his cot. Breathing, oozing, staring. It was a good moment to realize how much reality differed from the cadavers, or how they portrayed themselves in their texts and visuals.

“Is this all you do all day?”

The woman perked up from her reading the sensor station. “What do you expect?”

Joshua looked around the room for a while, then shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You assume we watch media?”

“It would be better, I guess.”

“I have studied them. I do not enjoy them.”

“Wait, you’ve studied our TV shows and movies?” His blank expression faded into a smile, then back into uneasiness. “You are a spy, aren’t you?”

“A spy is able to blend into his or her surroundings. Do I vaguely appear human?”

“No, I guess not. You look like a red bug. But you would have the technology for it, wouldn’t you?”

“I do not. I imagine your fears about my species are more than unwarranted.”

“Well, you could still listen in on us, couldn’t you?”

“Irrelevant.”

“I think it’s pretty relevant. You want me to trust you, right?”

“If I were to let loose every secret, I doubt you would harbor any less fear toward me.”

“I guess not.” He went to cross his arms and quickly reconsidered with a hiss. “But it doesn’t make sense that you know all about us.”

The woman rubbed her mouthparts together. It wouldn’t hurt to reveal at least something of her past, would it? The war, in her mind at least, was over. She could scarcely jeopardize the rest of her race by talking to a near invalid.

“I researched humans.”

“Pried us open?” Joshua asked seriously.

“I did no prying.” Though she probably could. “Culture and language and biology. I dedicated quite some time to that. Then war proved that I could be used in other fields.” She recalled that moment. There was no fanfare. No enjoyment to the repositioning. It was simply taken as fact.

“Sucks.”

“And as for yourself?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Are you not going to tear a piece of your past? This is a practice in trust.”

He looked at her, then back to the ground. “I’m just a scrapper. No military, no nothing. Just came here to get my prize and leave.” He lay back down on his cot and stared up. “I’m sure you were looking forward to fathering a bunch of little maggots or something.”

“Fathering?” she asked. “I am female.” She supposed they didn’t get much training on her species.

Joshua paused, then sat back up. “Female? You look like you could kill me with those horns. Surely the girls wouldn’t have those?”

“Are you meaning to imply that I do not know whether or not I am a female?”

“No, just… I thought that’s how it would work.”

She stood up and positioned herself in front of him, raising her horns as she did. With one finger she ran down the horn on the opposite side of her body and down her arm.

“The males have enlarged portions on the side compared to the other. They practice combat with them.”

“That’s not just armor?” His brow furrowed and he settled back into the bed. “Alright, I get it. I don’t need more biology from you.”

“To know your enemy is an advantage.”

“You’re saying I’m your enemy?”

“Not in terms of our current situation. In terms of war.”

“I don’t plan on killing any of you, so that’s of no use to me. I feel sorry for the guys who do.”

The woman leaned back against the containers opposite to him.

“Is that out of choice or uncaring?”

“What?”

“Do you care not to harm another creature, or are you uninterested in the prospect?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“One you are uncomfortable with.”

“Whatever. Go back to your screen tapping.”

_

Screen tapping had lost its luster. The woman found herself staring at a blank screen, with only her reflection back to greet her. For a moment she was unsure of the stranger looking back at her. How strange it felt looking at her own form. The human element had snapped into place.

Was she part of an odd looking race? Surely she looked female to her own kind. The shortened horns. The bright pink eyes. The smattering of gentle gold down her midsection. Yet it felt off. As if her time alone in space had clouded her thoughts and the sudden jarring appearance of a human displaced her sense of being. Perhaps she could change her voice to better suit his sensibilities?

Her mouth chittered. No. What was she thinking? Loneliness had grabbed hold of her thoughts and shook them loose. Now was not the time to acclimate to humanity. Years of cold research would not be replaced by naive foolishness.

“I’m guessing you don’t have a shower?” the human said. “Or a bathroom?”

“Do you consider us filthy?”

“I didn’t say that. I already made the mistake of calling you a guy so I don’t know what weird nonsense you do.”

She pulled herself away from the screen and moved to a hatch in the ground.

“Follow,” she said.

With one tug it pulled open, revealing a metal staircase down into darkness.

Joshua sidled over. “It’s pitch black down there.”

The insectoid looked between him and the pit. Was it? Ah, right, inferior eyes.

“Then I will lead you.” She outstretched a hand.

Joshua stared at her with pursed lips. Following an alien into a dark pit was likely a hard choice to make.

“We are not enemies,” she said. “I would have executed you when you entered if I desired it.”

“That doesn’t really help.” He sighed and took her hand. With that, they were off into the guts of the ship, descending into the depths. “What is this place?”

“This is our living area.”

“Awfully cramped, don’t you think?”

“Is that a discomfort?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Yet you did not answer.”

“How come you don’t sleep down here?”

She rubbed her mandibles together. There were many reasons. She ran her free hand across one of the few sleeping containers. The glow of numerals still clung to their outside.

“I had to observe you instead. To make certain you did not harm yourself. Destroy anything.”

She could hear him faintly huff upon saying that.

They continued on. The insectoid wondered just how much he could see. Was it only darkness? Could he only feel the grasp of her hand and the clank of metal as they moved forward? His own hand was rough. Not as smooth as the rest of him. Weathered by something, but still gentle in how it moved, how it grasped. It must have been a stark comparison to her sharper digits and palm with their rigid forms.

At the end of the hallway was a door leading into a smaller room. It was very much similar in function to a human bathroom, so fortunately there would be little explaining needed.

“Up ahead. Can you see it?”

“Another hole in the wall?”

“That would be it. In the center is a shower. The water may feel rough. It is still water.”

“What do you mean ‘rough?’ ”

“Minerals.”

Joshua let go of her hand and slipped into the bathroom.

“I suggest you undress before you wash.”

“I’ve got that figured out, thanks.”

With that settled, the insectoid turned around and began walking away.

“Where are you going?”

“Above. I suspected you wanted an amount of privacy.”

“I do, but… You can’t just leave me here in the pitch black.”

“So be it.”

He was aboard an alien ship after all. She stood by the entrance to the shower room and allowed him to feel his way into it. Then came the undressing. Articles of clothing falling to the side haphazardly. She briefly hoped her bandaging would hold.

“Do you understand the operation of the shower?” she asked.

“I’ll figure it out.”

She leaned in to watch him fumble with the simple valves. He turned one and hissed, as his body jerked inward, trying to preserve heat.

“The temperatures may be more extreme than you are used to. I suggest mixing both valves.”

“I got it!”

He turned the other one and leveled out the temperatures, relaxing into the water. The woman tilted her head, watching his naked form. There was a strange fluidity to the human form that didn’t come across in autopsies or imagery. Naturally, she had seen most of his bare form, but not beneath the shame hiding clothing.

Curious how the males had exposed, external genitalia. Surely that would be more than uncomfortable with their clothing? It would be even more worrisome had he gained an erection. Was it supposed to be that size when flaccid? Human sexuality, she knew, was a sudden and swift aspect of their existence. It must have been obnoxious to deal with sudden arousal, and the clear displays that came with it.

Human reproductive organs weren’t necessarily far off from her own species. Similar spears going into similar openings. Though they chose raw friction to bring forth ejaculate rather than exchanging an array of pheromones and vibrations. Bizarre how they treated something so raw as a point of beauty and love. Perhaps that was just a human condition.

“You’re still there, right?”

“I am still here. Would you like to hold hands again?”

“I didn’t know you guys had humor.”

“I would say fate itself is a great source of humor.”

“Yeah. Stuck in a tuna can with a bug and waiting to get eaten. Real funny. Should’ve just gone for the draft.”

“You would have preferred a wartime experience?”

“You ask way too many questions.”

“That is my occupation. Researcher. I plan to continue it.”

“You’re not researching right now, are you?” he asked, pausing his cleaning.

The insectoid leaned back. “I am only asking questions. I would have expected more from you.”

“I don’t want to know more about you. I just want to get out of here.” There was a silence, with only the hiss of water to fill it. “Actually, I do have a question.”

She perked up. “Yes?”

“What’s the most complex thing out there?”

“Still harvesting?”

“Look, I’m not leaving empty handed. I help you, you help me.”

“You are stuck without my help.”

“Fine. Fine. Alright.”

“How do you plan on transporting that scrap? Your ship is not in a state to be piloted.”

“Something handheld, I don’t know. I just need something.”

The insectoid leaned back in. There was a fervor to his movements now. Scrapping must have been more than a job. She was going to ask, but figured that she would receive only more hostile reactions. That and… Her eyes caught more of his form, drawing her back into a research driven mind. What was it like to feel those streams of water to wash over his open pores? To feel the steam settle into them? Plates and chitin had their advantages, but the bare skin was enticing on a tactile level.

Then the shower came to a stop. The woman pulled herself back to her hiding spot.

“You have a towel? It’s freezing in here,” Joshua said.

A container nearby held the drying implements he wanted. Perhaps not exactly as he wanted. She plucked one out and walked in, grabbing his hand and placing the drying pad in it.

“Could’ve just tossed it in.” He did some light scrubbing. “Is this just made out of bristles?”

“Our hide is rough.”

“Whatever. Could you go back out? Just not too far.”

She considered just stepping back, but decided to abide by his words. There was some soft scrubbing and annoyed breaths, then the sound of clothes zipping all back up, hiding his shame.

“Alright, you can come back in now,” Joshua said. “Mind getting me out of here?”

“Certainly.”

She grabbed at his hand, pausing to feel it for a moment. Perhaps it was just her mind, but it felt curiously reinvigorated and fresh. A simple cleaning was enough to renew his soft form. Interesting. She would have to note that down for later.

“What are you doing?” Joshua asked. “Let’s go.”

“Only examining you. No adverse effects from the water.”

“Why would there be?”

“Human anatomy is alien.” She rubbed a finger across his wrist. There was the faint pumping of blood. How could something so fragile wage all out war? “Let us go.”

“Fine, alright.”

They moved back out, into the brightness of the bridge of the ship. Joshua yanked his hand away from her grasp.

“Your horns are up? Did I offend some stupid ritual of yours?”

They jerked back into place.

“No.”