FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Leo pulled into his driveway with mentally crossed fingers. He stepped out and looked at the disposal bin that sat snugly against his house. Anything could be in there now. From nothing to his entire fridge. Hell hath no wrath like a spiteful woodland creature. Leo stepped out and ambled over to the bin. With a deep breath and a quiet prayer, he peeked in, then fully opened it. There it was, a black trash bag. Never had he ever been so happy to see trash. She was capable of following simple orders without his supervision! Leo smothered his smile and stepped inside.

Missy was on the couch, stuck to her usual spot in her robe again. “I’m back,” Leo said.

“I can see that,” Missy said flatly. The man checked the kitchen trash. No bag inside but he supposed he didn’t ask for that part. “I did your stupid job.”

“Now was that so hard?”

“Don’t fuck with me. I’m not in the mood.”

“I just wanted to say good work.”

“What did I just say?”

“I’m congratulating you, easy.”

“Do you have to sound like such a prick while you do it?”

“I’m saying you did a good job. Relax a little!”

Missy huffed. That was probably the best response he was going to get from her. Even when he gives her a chance, he gets bitten in return. Leo dressed placed everything back in its proper spot and dressed himself back in civilian clothes. His room was still in order too, so that was a major improvement. Specks of her hair could be seen on the sheets, but as far as he knew, she didn’t do that on purpose. He couldn’t assume anything when it came to Missy, though. Leo went back out into the living room and started replacing the garbage bag. “You didn’t put a bag in here, you know.”

“I tried, OK? You should be happy I took out the stupid trash.”

You should be happy about a lot of things too, Leo silently replied. He kept his mouth shut, not wanting to damage any possible progress he made with her. One step down, just a near infinite amount more. He shut the bin, then looked around the floor to check for any mess. None, surprisingly, which meant that she hadn’t made a mess, or maybe she cleaned up. Leo wasn’t sure which of the two was more unbelievable. He sighed. Alright, easy, she made the effort which was a lot more than none at all. Leo quickly changed and went back to the kitchen, where he began examining the windows.

A phone call came in that Leo quickly answered. “Hello?”

“Hey, Leo, it’s Vernon. Just forgot to go over something at lunch.”

“Yes?”

“You know that domain we opened yesterday? Sorry but you’re gonna have to get rid of it.”

“Not a problem. It’ll be gone by morning,” Leo replied.

“You can do it when you get here. No need to be working off the clock,” Vernon said.

“It’ll be easy. Didn’t think it would last long anyways. It had it coming, really.”

“Just don’t tax yourself on your time off. Need you on your a-game at work.”

“Believe me, sir, I’d be more than glad to do it.”

“Alright, see you then.”

“Goodbye.” Leo stuffed the phone in his pocket and returned to his window scrutinizing.

With Missy’s absurd amount of hair clogging the pipes, it was possible she caused some sort of damage, which would most easily appear in a windowsill. He gently ran a finger across the frame. Not wet here. Might not have to tear out all the piping after all. He shifted his attention back to the cabinet under the sink, looking for any stray moisture. That was when he heard a low groan. Leo froze and turned his head to listen. Air in the pipes? He waited. There it was again, but not from the sink. He got up and moved over to the kitchen wall. Another bubbling groan. He was getting closer to the source.

Leo spent several minutes walking up and down the hallway trying to find that misbehaving pipe. Could it be in the ceiling? There shouldn’t have been any piping there but he supposed it was possible. He looked up and ambled out into the living room. There it was again. He almost had it. Leo stepped up to the couch. There. Must’ve been right on the spot. It was then that he realized the noise was coming from below. He glanced down, noticing Missy’s mouth move in time with the noise. Damnit, she was fucking with him again. He opened his mouth to chastise her, but quickly shut it once he spotted the noticeably damp patches on her face that reflected back the television light.

Was she... crying? Leo’s brow furrowed and he took a step back. She heaved with the noise, which sounded less like sobbing and more like a tortured groan. Immediately alarms went off in his head. She was fucking with you again. What reason would she have to cry anyways? She had it good. Leo shook his head and returned to the sink. At least that ruled out the noise and the need for hundreds of dollars in wall repair. Missy’s groan grew louder. There was a shred of sadness prodding at his heart. As if he would feel bad for her. She had started far too many games and he sure as hell wasn’t getting caught up in this one.

Leo glanced back, just in time for Missy to grow louder. Though there was always that infinitesimally small chance she wasn’t faking it. So what? You should really try and cheer her up? Any problems she was having were strictly of her own design. That’s why she was here in the first place after all. Another rattling groan escaped Missy. That noise was unbearable, though, like nails on a chalkboard, or maybe bones on a rusted pipe. He sighed. At least get her to stop. He opened his mouth, but paused in hesitation. Just do it. “You alright? He asked.

“I’m fine!” Missy warbled. Her voice sounded wrong, as if it were peeling away.

Leo rounded the couch. “Are you sure?”

Missy looked up at him. There was a tinge of red in her eyes, which was a weird contrast to the usually stark white daggers that sat in her head. “You’re gonna get rid of me, aren’t you?” She barely managed to get out that last word before it bled away into a groan.

“You’re still here, aren’t you?”

Missy frowned. “I heard you on the fucking phone!”

Leo rubbed his eyes. “That was my boss, Missy. We’re getting rid of an unused domain.”

“Yeah?! After you said you wanted me to disappear?!”

“Why would I call anyone to tell them that?”

“I don’t fucking know, you tell me!” She snarled and shoved her face into her large hands. “I don’t know what to do and you’re gonna get rid of me!”

That sadness wormed its way back into his thoughts again. You really are being taken advantage of here, you sap. He looked up at the ceiling, trying to figure out how to calm her down. “I was angry, OK? I didn’t rally want you to just disappear.” He couldn’t quite tell if that was a lie. Leo eased onto the armrest. “I know I’ve been harsh but... but it’s really hard to spend time with you.” Maybe that wasn’t the best way to put it. “I had it pretty good alone. Hard to deal with sudden change like that.”

“You just hate me,” she said plainly.

“If I hated you, you would already be out.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, you did well with the trash, alright?” Not a sentence he expected to ever say. “I meant it.” For the most part. “If you keep up the work, I won’t ever kick you out. Got it?”

“You still dislike me.”

“How else am I supposed to take constant jokes and messing up my house?” He turned more toward her.

“How am I supposed to feel about you being so pissy?”

“OK, OK, I get it. I’ll ease up if it makes you feel better, alright?” What next? A firm pat on the back? He winced at the thought. Missy wasn’t exactly filthy, but the thought of touching her still made his skin crawl all the same. Missy lurched forward and groaned again. “Calm down.” His hand reached out and gently patted her on the back. “I don’t hate you and... you’re getting better.”

“You’re just saying that!”

“What am I supposed to do to convince you, then?” Leo replied with a huff.

Missy pulled her head out of her palms, then looked up at him. Crying so vigorously didn’t do her any favors for her appearance. Her fur became completely messy. In an instant, she stood up and brought Leo into a forceful hug, still sobbing all the way. His muscles twitched, trying to get away for a brief second before stopping. Should’ve just kept your trap shut, he chided himself. It wasn’t a terrible experience. Missy was still soft, and the close hug only confirmed his suspicions about her fragility. She was like a stuffed toy. A stuffed toy with a broken pull string and voice box. Still, the experience was strange, and indeed she was practically a stranger. His personal space radar fired all the alarms.

The groaning woman hugged him tighter, her spindly fingers pushing into his skin. “Alright, alright,” Leo said in defeat. He placed his arms around her, returning a gentle squeeze. Not too harsh, lest he snap her in two. Missy’s sobbing died down, but hadn’t quite extinguished. Truly a saint. “Is that better?” Only silence. Leo sat there in his awkward couch hug for what felt like an hour, but was probably closer to a minute or two. If this was a trick, he fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.

Missy pulled away and wiped her face. “Better?” Leo asked. Missy nodded with a whimper. “So you’re fine now, right?” No response other than a sniffle of the nose. He’d probably have to wash his shirt. Her fur was all matted up from the tears and rubbing. “Go wash—” No, wait, he just fixed the pipes. “Just a second.” He went off to grab a face towel, and came back to Missy. He gently grabbed her by the wrist, bringing her over to the kitchen sink. “I’m going to wash you up, OK?” She nodded and rubbed an eye. Leo ran water over the rag, then began cleaning up Missy’s mess. “Didn’t think you would explode like that.”

“It’s my last chance, OK?” she said dejectedly. Her voice was returning, which was far better on the ears.

Leo was going to tell her she should’ve known better, but the truth was, they still hardly knew one another. “Well, like I said, you keep up the good work and everything will be fine. Provided you’re good about it.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’ll know when you break it.”

“So you won’t even tell me.”

Leo held her by the shoulders. “Treat others as you want to be treated, Missy.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” she said with a slight smile.

“Missy.” He returned to his cleaning.

“Alright, I get it.” She looked away. “So that was really your boss on the phone?”

“Who else would I call ‘sir?’”

“I dunno, you seem like the kinda guy who would say that to everyone.”

“Should I start calling you ‘ma’am’ then?” Leo replied.

“Fuck no. That would be too weird. That’s only for old people.”

“You’re gonna get there eventually.”

“For all you know, I could be immortal,” Missy said, smile widening.

“Then—” he stopped to make sure she had been properly cleaned “—God help us all.” Leo wiped her eye one last time. “Better now?”

“Yeah... Thanks.”

“Good. Toss that robe into the wash. You’ve been rolling around in it all day.”

“Not all day, but OK, fine.” She pulled the thing off. “Can I ask you a question?”

“I don’t see why not.” Leo placed the rag in the sink.

“Why did you let me in?”

Now she was grilling him about it. “I guess I figured you weren’t real, so it was fine.” He knew that was a lie. “Plus I didn’t know you would be staying so long.”

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m fake. It’s hard to tell when you get one guy to talk to, but at least you let me know I’m real,” she said somberly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I guess you’re the only person in my life to really kick me in the ass.”

“That explains a lot,” Leo replied.

“Hey, I’m trying to find some compliment for you, jerk.”

“That was a compliment?” Leo asked with a tilt of the head.

“Well, sorry! What else am I supposed to say?”

“How about thanks for the nice house? Or that I’m a hard worker?”

“I told you that you had a nice house when we reunited.” Reunited. That was a funny way to put it.

“I thought that was a joke.”

“Oh.” Missy glanced away.

“Yeah.” Now would be the perfect time for that apology that he deserved.

“Uh, anyways, what’s for dinner?” And it didn’t come.

Leo balled up the rag and tossed it into the kitchen sink. “Maybe you want to catch tonight’s dinner?”

“Ugh, no, I’m just gonna go back to TV, thanks.” Missy tottered back to the couch, tossing her robe onto the cushions. Leo sighed. Yeah, it probably would’ve been for the best if she wasn’t real. At least he got a ‘thanks’, which might as well been the Holy Grail coming from Missy. He stared into the kitchen drain. How long would this really last? If she even changed for the better, would he want her around? Ever? Good joke, as if she even had the capacity to change at all. This was Missy at her worst, if Vernon was correct. She can only go up, right?