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Chapter 12

Dear Matt

---

I apologize for Ian he-...

Uh... delete, delete, delete.

Hi Matt, I hope you don't

hate me-...

Fuck no! Delete, delete, delete.

Hey

---

I hope you and Ian had

a good lunch together

and I apologize if he

said something

inappropriate to you.

... This should do. Probably. I'm not really sure what to say to Matt, or if he'd even reply to my text. But here goes nothing, sending it... Now.

Looking up from my phone and out the window of the bus I sighed slightly, hoping the rest of the day would just pass on without a hitch. I wonder if Matt'll just up and straight stop talking with me altogether, deny the fact he even met me and just move on. Wouldn't surprise me if he did, and I wouldn't even blame him... What was Ian thinking bringing him to work like that? I was nowhere near mentally prepared enough for such an occurrence, my mind still felt kind of numb from the shock. The only thing that consoled me was the fact that I had managed to keep Kieran away from the floor for the remaining hour on my shift, avoiding another great chain reaction that would happen if the hardcore fan wolf would get if he had seen Ian inside the very same restaurant he worked at.

If there is a god, thank you for that small blessing. Also, fuck you. You're doing a terrible job with the planet Earth.

Mrrpfh! I need to get some answers.

So, Ian.

---

Do tell me what the

HELL YOU WERE

THINKING BRINGING

MATT TO WORK

TODAY?!

---

I'd appreciate it if

you'd let me in on that

secret, thank you.

---

With great care and love

Lukas.

---

Knowing him though, he probably did it for the laughs. And for all the black mail material he acquired with his phone.

*Pling*

From: Matthew

Hey,

---

The dinner was good

thank you! Despite his

foxy trait, Ian isn't a bad

dinner companion.

---

He only had good things

to say about you while

we ate, nothing

embarrassing I assure you.

Well that's a relief to hear, but I wonder just what kind of 'good things' Ian told him about me... I don't know if I should be worried about it or not, for all I know that fox could've told him that I'm an undercover cop or something. Wouldn't surprise me in the least.

Okay, I'll take your

word for it. But take

everything he says

with a pinch of salt.

---

If I know him right,

he has porbably

done everything to

make me seem like

a saint or something

But to be totally honest I would probably do the same about Ian, heck I still do. I always describe him as a funny, interesting and pleasant fox to be around, when really he is a nosy, scheming, always-have-to-butt-in-your-business foxy little rascal.

Next stop: Eagle Avenue

Hupp, my stop is coming up next.

Pushing the STOP button I got up on my feet and wobbled over to the bus door and got off the moment it slid open once the bus came to a halt. I didn't waste any time and closed the distance between me and the entrance to my apartment building not far from the bus station. Even without a car I managed just fine to get from point A to point B easy enough with buses, taxi and the subway. Then again, I don't really ride trains any more either way. And the dark, cramped space down there didn't help at all.

Arriving at the door to my apartment building I made my way inside and got up to the apartment. It was empty inside, and I had to remind myself that Andy had gone out shopping after his shift today. Kicking off my shoes I stretched my arms up in the air, walking inside and getting my laptop from my room. I slunk back into the living room and sat down in my designated seat, the armchair. There was many like this armchair in the world, but this one was mine. Between the occasional outings with friends, work and my bed, this armchair is where you'd always find me, with my laptop in my lap.

Alright facebook, have at me. First order of business is to decline all the invitations to Candy land or whatever the hell all these games are called. I don't need that in my life. Return all the pokes from my friend's overseas back home and-... Oh hello, message from mom.

Marika: "Hej hej Lukas, hur står det till med dig? :)

Mår benet bra? Hur är det med Ian? Vi hör inte mycket från dig här hemma, vi saknar dig och skulle väldigt gärna vilja se dig igen snart! Hör av dig så snart du kan, kram Mamma <3"

Aw, I'm sorry mom. Lukas has been busy trying to keep himself happy.

Lukas: "Hej mamma, jo allt står bra till här.

Inga fel med benet på bra länge, och Ian har fullt up med utgivning av sin nästa bok snart. Jag ska träffa honom på conventet på Lördag. Säg hej till pappa och Nicklas för mig!"

Hrm... I wonder. Clicking the search bar I type in: Matthew Sanders. Bingo! Some good old fashioned facebook stalking hasn't hurt anybody, nobody that I know of anyway. Ahem... He hasn't much to show to anyone who isn't his friend... That's a shame. Well since he doesn't hate me, I might as well send him a friend request. Again, the worst outcome is that he says no.

Matthew Sanders has accepted your friend request.

Woah really? Does that mean... yeah, looking over the side of the screen I can see the little green dot indicating the wolf was online right this moment. By now I am pretty much required to start chatting with him, else I'll be considered a downer.

Lukas: "Hi Matt! Hah, didn't know if it was appropriate of me to ask to be friends on here or not."

Matthew: "Heya Lukas :) Good to hear from you again. It's no trouble haha."

Matthew: "And yeah, I was trying to have a rational perspective talking with Ian lol. As nice as he is, he just have this... mischievous aura around him. I had a bad feeling from the very start when I met him. No offense to your friend."

Lukas: "Haha! Don't worry about it, that's just how Ian is. Still, despite it all. I'm kind of glad you two met already. I dunno if Ian told you, but he's the one we're supposed to meet on saturday."

Matthew: "Oh yeah, he mentioned he's an author, he even helped me getting his first book to read. Planning to get around to reading it sometime soon. And he told me about the upcoming book release and his plans for the convent. So he gave you those VIP tickets?"

Lukas: "Yeah, hope you're cool with meeting him again."

Matthew: "Oh I won't mind, at least this time it won't be a surprise, right?"

Lukas: "Hehe, yeah, no more surprises."

Matthew: "Speaking of surprises, Ian did tell me one thing. And I'm not sure if I've processed it entirely yet, mind if I ask you directly?"

Lukas: "Oh? Uh, sure I guess. What is it?"

Matthew: "Are you gay?"

...

Oh. My god. Ian, you dick!

...

Matthew: "Hello? You still there?"

Lukas: "Uhh, yeah. And... yes, I am gay..."

Matthew: "Hm, I see."

...

You do? See what? Don't just stop typing after I was just forced out of the closet because Ian deemed it necessary to that you should know about my sexual orientation.

Matthew: "I'm happy you were honest with me Lukas. I don't mind if you're gay. But I can't tolerate liars."

Lukas: "Thank you Matt. That means more to me than you realize... It's not like I wanted to keep the truth from you, but I've been burned too many times for not being cautious on who I come out to."

Haaah... Be still, my beating heart. I don't know whether I should give Ian a slap or kiss him for putting me in this situation.

*Pling*

Talk about the devil.

Ohh, that?

Did you honestly believe

even for a second that I'd

let such a golden opportunity

pass me by?

---

This is the price you pay

for being a helpless human

who needs a kick in his ass

more often than not.

... Fuck it, he's right. I really shouldn't be surprised the white fox pulled this kind of stunt, it's in his nature. Not saying that -all- foxes are exactly like him, that would be a stupid stereotype. But yeah, I don't blame him...

But.

No, guess I should've

seen this comming from a

mile away, so if anything

it's my fault for believeing

you'd stay put for once.

---

Was it necessary tho, to

pull me out of the closet

when I'm not even around?

Looking up from the phone I saw a new message from Matt.

Matthew: "oh it's not that. Since Ian told me that you were gay, I was more worried you'd deny it if I asked. I'm glad you didn't. I can appreciate people who are honest with themselves."

Well isn't that sweet.

*Pling*

Again Lukas.

---

It's like you don't even

know me at all. *sighs*

---

Isn't it better he knows

that about you so you

don't have to torture

yourself?

---

Did he bring it up

already? Since you

mention it now and all...

I don't know if I want Ian to know Matt has a facebook page. He will most likely find out sooner or later though, so I have no choice.

I befriended him on

facebook, and we

started chatting.

---

He's actually okay

with me being gay

so I -should- thank

you for this...

---

So, thank you Ian.

Silly fox.

Lukas: "I despise lying quite a lot myself, so that we have in common. Anything else Ian said about me that sparked your interest, or is there anything else you'd like to know now that I'm pouring my soul out here."

The door to the apartment creaked open and I heard Andy calling. "Hullo Charming, I'm hoome."

"Welcome home honeybun, how was work?" I called out over my shoulder without really raising my head. I had to keep my eyes peeled on the chat box as I could see Matt typing a reply.

Matthew: "Nothing really, Ian spoke generally about that you two are old friends. And he probed me a couple of times about what I do as a 'big boss', as he liked to put it. The only thing I could possible think of asking would probably be if my age is any trouble with you."

Again with the age thing, was he being insecure, or did he feel uncomfortable being with someone younger than him? I can't figure that wolf out.

"Oh... work.... It was, alright. But dear Ian decided to drop by." Andy snuffed somewhere behind me, rummaging through inside the kitchen.

"No. Really? He didn't bother you did he?" Now I had to look away from the screen, looking towards the kitchen I could see Andy's large ears switch from standing tall in attention to hanging floppy side over his head.

"Not more than usual, he was just being the nosy little prick he always is. The thing is... he brought a guest with him." Andy turned his head to look at me from the kitchen, his rabbit nose snuffing in quick succession.

"Uh-huh... Oh-... Oh! Oh god!" A hand flew up and I slapped my forehead audibly. Ian helped me pick out the first book of his series.

Ian must be having a field day today, laughing his tail off.

"Yeah... So I had the chance to meet 'Matt'." Andy's voice turned from a serious tone to a much more amused one now... "I concur with your rate of a 10/10 butt. Holy shit Lukas, where do you find these kind of furs?" Andy giggled towards the end, the tips of his pierced ears flicking slightly while he put away the groceries.

"If anything, it's them who keep on finding me. Sometimes I feel like a magnet... Do I have a large sign around my neck that says 'Talk to me if you have a nice booty.'" I frowned. "Actually, don't answer that." I turned my attention back to the laptop and typed a quick reply to Matt.

Lukas: "I don't have any trouble with your age. You could be ten years older than me and I wouldn't mind it one bit."

A skype message had me tab out from facebook to see a message from Ian himself.

Ian: "Despite his elderly, rugged appearance the wolf sure knows his way around technology and today's social media. You'd never guess that at a first glance at him"

Ian: "Regardless, I think you should check this out. A nice little treat from me to you, make sure you have popcorn ready. I'd recommend keeping it private if you could, unless you'd like Andy breathing down your neck in arousal."

Following his messages Ian sent a file via skype, a video file.

---

"Welcome to the Book Corner! Would you like some-... Oh Mister Hodges!" The video showed footage of Matt entering the Book Corner, as seen from Ian's perspective. The camera moved around a lot, but more than once it passed by the area around the wolf's posterior. Showing in as many angles as possible, the clothed muscular behind of the wolf, his black jeans strained at every moment of his equally thick and muscular legs.

My eyes was pretty much occupied while I stared at the screen, barely noticing Matt moved away towards the counter and Andy came into view. The camera looked up at him, showing the rabbit with a furrowed brow and a confused look in his eyes.

"Is that...?" Andy whispered, covertly pointing towards the wolf, who by now had started to wag his tail. In response to Andy's question the camera bobbed up and down slightly. Andy looked towards Matt for a brief moment and then looked back to Ian, shaking his head.

"You're crazy." Andy did a slight scowl before he disappeared off screen somewhere, and with the rabbit out of the way Matt became the focus of the camera again. Together they left the book store and walked in the general direction I'd know was leading to my workplace. They small talked with each other on the way, and a little bit more when they came upon the Lounge.

I really shouldn't be watching any of this... What Ian and Matt talk about when I'm not around is none of my business, but for some reason I can't look away. The way the wolf moves, the way he talks and his looks just have me... captivated.

"Who's Charming?" Matt asked after Alice left their table, on screen it wasn't much to look at except for the chiseled chest area the camera was pointed at, but it captured the audio just perfectly.

"Charming? Oh you'll absolutely love meeting him, he has such Charming personality so everybody here just calls him just that, Charming." Ian's voice mused from somewhere behind.

"Hrm..." Matt raised a paw up, scratching his chin no doubt.

Not long after the camera shook and a loud *WHAM* was heard. This is when I come into the picture.

"Hi Lukas." Hrm... While I am glad things didn't end in complete disaster, I still have to get back at Ian for putting me through something like this. I watched the lame banter between me, the fox and the wolf. I half expected the video to cut out after I left, but of course Ian let it roll...

At first Matt was quiet, but after he took a bite out of his meal he grunted slightly. "I guess the food here is just one of the many reasons you picked just -this- restaurant to eat at."

"You could say that. The entertainment surely didn't disappoint, did it?" Ian replied in a merry tune.

"I... don't know what to be most shocked about, that you knew who I was, or that you dared to pull off such a feat." Matt's voice was gruffy, and just a tiny bit scary, to listen to.

"Why not both? I don't regret doing it one bit, no sir. Drama is what I live for, and Lukas always attracts the best kind of drama. " Ian said.

"And he puts up with that? I can't imagine many people who enjoy being put in the spotlight like that..." Matt replied, much sterner than before.

"Oh he might despise me for a while, maybe for days. But he'll come around again, he always does." Ian still sounded amused, but I could tell he was getting more serious over time as he spoke.

"Really now, he does? If it were me I don't think I could stand a friend who'd to that-..." Matt was cut off mid-sentence by a sharp 'tch' sound from Ian.

"With all due respect Matthew, what I do towards Lukas is my business. The two of us have been close friends for a really long time, and many times beyond counting have both he and I put each other in embarrassing situations or painful encounters. We do so because we need to, we need each other to push each other forward." Now Ian spoke with an icy voice.

"It's because of this..." Ian said in a more gentle tone, and I couldn't see what he meant, but I knew where this conversation was going. "For eight long years have I been sitting in this, and Lukas is tied to this wheelchair as much as I am." Ian sighed. "I was with him during the accident that crippled me, and afterwards, Lukas never once abandoned me. He injured his leg, but that didn't stop him from doing everything in his powers to... keep me in check."

A pause of silence followed, neither of them saying anything as they put effort into getting food into their mouths.

"I saw his leg when I... when I helped him out last Sunday. It was horribly scarred... What was the accident that caused that to happen to you two?" Matt sounded much mellower now when he asked Ian his question.

"It was when a truck came crashing into the train we were on, and it derailed. I was knocked out cold when the truck knocked the train over on its side, which is a blessing in disguise. But Lukas... He wasn't as lucky... His leg got caught and it shredded pretty bad, but the worst part is probably that he came to, while still on board the train. He'd never admit it to anyone, not even me, but I know it traumatized him badly." I could hear Ian take a huge chug of his water, clunking it all down in one go.

"Because of his strong emotional attachment he had with me at the time, Lukas can never go a day without checking up on me to see if I'm alright. And because of what he saw... he's incapable of being left alone without the knowledge that somebody is always close." Ian sighed.

It was silent again, and they finished up their meals now.

I really, -really- shouldn't be listening to this. I don't need to know all of this... so why can't I stop?

"...Strong emotional attachment?" Matt muttered out, more confused than concerned.

"Oh, well he and I was an item back then. You know, dating." There it was. That was the biggest of all bombs Ian could've possible dropped on poor Matt. I couldn't see his facial expression, but I could see him tense his muscles slightly, briefly if at all. It was hard to tell from this askew angle.

"So... he.... and you?" Matt so much as chewed on the words before he managed to speak them out loud.

"We were dating yes. But we were never officially boyfriends, and then the whole thing with the accident happened... after that we could just never make it work. He loves me as much as I love him, if not more actually. But we can't be together, not in that way." Oh gee, great Ian. Way to tell him about us.

Ian, you're lucky you're so sexy.

"... I see..." Matt said carefully. Well he sure got a head on his shoulder, he sure sees everything that applies around us being gay.

"If that fact disturbs you in anyway, I'd strongly urge you to stay away from Lukas. It won't do anyone any good if you can't accept him as he is." Ian made an uppercut comment so bluntly, I half expected Matt to edge back in his seat. But to his credit he didn't even tense his muscles this time.

"You've given me a lot to think about Ian. And I'll have you know I have no problems with people's sexuality, but I'd rather hear it from the person in question." Matt grumbled, shifting slightly in his seat.

---

The video ended there, and I was left staring at the screen of my laptop.

It took my brain a few minutes to process and archive everything I had just witnessed, despite my best efforts to try and not heed it any mind. I was going to remember this for a long time...

A slight flash in the corner drew my attention to a facebook message from Matt.

Matthew: "That's a relief to hear, that you don't mind me being older.. Anyway, I have some work I need to get done now, then I have to take a shower and get ready for bed. So I'll speak more with you later on. Take care Lukas."

Oh no! I missed the opportunity to say good bye. Dang... Guess I'll just leave a reply and he can read it whenever he opens facebook next time.

Lukas: "Oh, right of course. Sorry I was tabbed out when you wrote that message. Thanks again for remaining friends with me! I'll be looking forward to when we speak next!"

There, short and sweet. Hopefully not too pushy.

And now to attend to a certain fox, who surely wanted some feedback on his video.

Lukas: "Dear Ian, you-..."

The End

---

Text one:

Marika: "Hi Hi Lukas, how are you doing? :)

Is your leg well? How is Ian doing? We don't hear much about you back home, we miss you and would very much like to see you again soon! Get in touch as soon as you can, hugs Mom <3"

---

---

Lukas: "Hi hi mother

No problems with the leg for a while now, and Ian is bussy with the release of his next book. I'm going to meet him at the convent here in town on Saturday. Say hello to Dad and Nicklas for me!"

---