FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 9

That's cool. I've still got

the tickets available,

you can come and pick

them up on Friday.

Who are you going to

bring?

Would it be Kieran? Lukas always tells me he's like a puppy for his attention. I bet the wolf would just jump high at the very idea of spending some time with his human idol. Heh. Not that I would blame him for doing that. Lukas is... very approachable person to be around. It was easy to be yourself and comfortable when he was near you, kind of like a big warm blanket.

*Buzz*

Matthew Sanders, he's uh.

A new acquaintance.

---

Rather, he was the one who

found me black out drunk

last Sunday.

Oh, him. That hunky, possible straight wolf daddy he spoke about? It surprised me that wolf was willing to go to a convent, thinking about the way Lukas described him, and I wouldn't have taken him for someone who enjoyed comics and cosplay. But I could be wrong.

Aha, alright okay. I'll be

looking forward to meeting

him on Saturday then :)

I'm sure I'll like him.

A sigh escaped me despite my effort to keep it in. Poor Lukas.

He had too much of a burden on his shoulders already without the need of my approval when it came to meeting new furs or potential boyfriends. I repeatedly told him as such, that he could date anyone he wants, even if the person he's seeing ends up disliking me. I could handle being disliked.

I don't need anyone's approval. And Lukas... well. He would follow me through hell and back if I asked no doubt about that. Granted, he didn't approve of everything I do but he would fight to the death for my right to do it.

And that's why I'll always love him no matter what storms may come.

Looking up from my phone I could see in the corner of my eye people turning their heads away after have been staring at me for the past five minutes of the bus ride. They thought I wouldn't notice if they sneaked a peek at my wheelchair when they thought I wasn't looking. But I always knew.

I've been glued to a wheelchair for 8 years now, and that fact wouldn't change anytime soon. No matter how much I hated it, no matter how much people stared. This I have come to term with. I didn't like it, but I've made my peace with that I may never walk again.

It took a long time, and I won't deny the thought of ending it all haven't crossed my mind a million times. It still happens even now, during the rough days, or just out of the blue. I couldn't control it when these feelings of anger and self-loathing hate washed over me.

But I could fight the urge back, I could resist it. Because of Lukas. I... I owed him a lot. All of those time I wanted it to end, he has been there for me. He endured a literal shitstorm of insulting remarks and general hate from me, all those times I wanted him to fuck off and yell at him to 'go die' and putting the blame on him.

Yet he remained by me. Oh Lukas...

I noticed my stop was coming up, and so I pushed the 'STOP' button for handicapped people, to let the driver know I need some assistance.

It felt like a defeat every time I pushed such a button. Like 'Hey I can't do this on my own, help me out.'

Soon the bus came to a slow halt and the two middle doors opened in front of me, and the air compressor lowered the side so it would be easier to roll off. The bus chauffeur got up from his seat and wandered back in the bus to meet me with a half-assed smile.

"Hello sir, do you require some assistance?" The pot bellied boar asked me, smiling down at me while his eyes darted down to the wheelchair and back up at me.

"Hi, yes I would like some help. If you could just help me get out on the street I would be ever so grateful." I did my best to smile back up at the fat, no, sorry, well rounded boar.

"Of course, of course. Let me help you." He said and got behind me, using the metal handles at the back to push me forward. Oh god this was so humiliating.

He pushed my front wheels out first and lowered my front until they made contact with the sidewalk, and then got the rest of me outside till I was safely on the ground outside.

"There you go sir, have a pleasant day." The boar tipped his hat at me.

"Thank you, you were a big help." I replied, feeling the corners of my muzzle twitch in struggle to smile at the boar who got back on board the bus and soon enough drove away.

*Huff*

I had no trouble getting on a bus by myself. It was a move I've practiced a lot to feel some sort of accomplishment. It wasn't that hard to get off either, but I always received help even if I didn't ask for it. So I just let it happen.

Now then... Which way should I go? Wheeling my way forward I entered the Apexis Mall, furs parted around me like a school of fish would around a shark. Heh, almost like they feared my wheelchair might jump at them and bite them. That'd be a sight, instead of a zombie virus there'd be infected wheelchairs rolling around and paralyzing people from the waist down.

The sun gazing on the glass roof raised the temperature inside the mall quite a bit, despite it being late in the summer. I didn't like warm temperatures, which is why I mostly stayed at home where I had an AC to battle the elements with. Plus there are less eyes staring at you at home.

Hm, hm. Where is it... Ah yeah, here it is. Rosewood Tech, for all your computer hardware and software needs. I rolled towards the glass doors and they parted upon my approach.

*Ding dong*

Barely had my front wheels made it inside the store before I was greeted by a most chipper squirrel girl sales clerk.

"Hi there! Welcome to Rosewood Tech store, if you require any assistance I would be more than happy to help you out sir, or do you maybe want to just browse around for a bit?" She chirped most joyful, holding a professional attitude through the conversation.

And not once did she break her eye contact with me. Very professional.

"Oh, well I sure hope you could provide some help... Mindy." I squinted my eyes to read her name tag. "I'm considering staring doing some vlogging and putting videos up on youtube, so I was wondering if you could recommend some good equipment that would suit me." I spoke up, taking a look around the store before I looked back at Mindy.

"Why certainly sir, if you would follow me I'll show you some selection of our cameras that's easy to get you started with." She gestured with her paw and led me past a couple of shelves with phones and pads and the like.

"Let's see now... This one might do." She picked out a small silvery camera. "This one is a VX Silverpaw, easy to hold and captures really good 720 video with 28 bit audio and relatively cheap." She handed the camera over to me to let me inspect it.

It was a neat little thing, perhaps a little lightweight and the price... reasonably low priced at $450.

"It's nice but hm... Perhaps something with a tad more ability to capture better quality? I'm not afraid to spend money, so don't hold back." I handed the camera back to the sales clerk, who had a pondering look on her muzzle.

"Hmm... A big spender eh? Well that's fine. Then how about..." Mindy showed me a wide assortment of cameras, from easy hand held ones to more robust ones. Quite a few of them peaked my interest, and with the sales clerk help we slowly narrowed my choices down during many minutes of fact checking and comparisons, until we singled out a slick looking, black camera, easy to hold in one paw with a flip out screen.

"Marvelous choice sir, now let's see about the other equipment you might need... Hmm. Oh! I know, how about a functional mic? Something that will capture that sweet voice of yours in prime perfection." She said with a wink. I only smiled and followed after her as she led me over to a section with microphones of all kinds.

"Alright, if you're planning to do a lot of videos in front of your computer I'd recommend one of these stationary microphones... Or may I personally recommend one of these smaller ones you stick right onto your shirt. Perfect for when you move about a lot." She pointed around a lot when she spoke. Clearly she didn't even want to hint that I do not move around like a normal person.

At least she hadn't suggested I slap a gopro camera onto my wheelchair.

"You know what, I'll take one of each. I do spend a lot of time at home, but I do travel quite often. I think it'd be easier if I had a smaller one for those occurrences." I said while flashing my fangs at her.

This seemed to pique her attention.

"Oh? May I ask where you travel? Here, check this one out. Compact and powerful, with long lasting batteries." She spoke and handed me a small box with the image of a small mic meant to be fastened onto your shirt and info of its capabilities.

"Mostly around the states. But I do plan on going overseas sometime soon, when I find the time. Yes... this one seems fine, any other you'd recommend?" I held onto the box while Mindy searched the shelf for another one to show me.

"I take it it's more about business than leisure when you travel the states then, yes? Here, how about this one?" She was quick on the uptake, handing me a similar mic she'd already picked out. But with small key changes.

"Well as an author it's my job to appease my fan base. Hm... Both of these looks good." I measured one mic in a paw each, sizing them up and comparing details about them.

"Wow! You're an author? Written anything I might've read?" The squirrel sales clerk held her big, bulbous tail up high in attention.

"I might possibly have. Ever read from the 'A Throne Under the Aurora' book series?" I glanced between the two microphones in my paws before I settled with the first one.

"I'll take this one." I pointed to the microphone of my choice and held up the other one for her to put back on the shelf. Though she seemed a little out of it.

Oh.

"Uh. Right of course! Splendid choice Mister Hodges." She burst into a wide smile and put the denied microphone onto its proper place. The other one I put in my lap next to the camera.

Looks like I've found a fan. A wide smile spread on my muzzle.

"Actually I've read both your books Mister Hodges." She started, turning to the more stationary microphones. "I've reread them so many times I've almost forgotten where the first one ends and the second one begins!" She sounded most pleased by this. It made me happy that she liked my books that much.

"I'm glad you like them. I hope the third book will live up to your expectations then." I grinned widely. Mindy seemed practically beside herself as she tried to pick out a couple of microphones to check out.

"Oh I'm- I'm sure it won't disappoint Mister Hodges. If it's anything as exciting and interesting as the first two, then I -really- can't wait to read it when it comes out!"She chirped out, bubbly like a school girl.

I was handed a couple of heavy set microphones that the squirrel thought would fit my requirements.

"Uhm..." She squeaked.

I flicked one of my pointy fox ears and looked up at the squirrel girl.

"If I may be so rude to... ask you for an autograph Mister Hodges?" Mindy tugged at the locks of her dark brown hair, blushing rather intently.

I grinned. "I'd be happy to, but first how about we tend to a customer's service? I'm having rather a hard time making up my mind you see..." I gave a brief explanation about what I liked about each microphone I had been handed.

She got immensely flustered at my cheeky remark, and hurriedly pointed out the pros and cons of the choices she's made. And under much consideration I decided to settle for the little more expensive one. After all I had money to spare, and all my purchases went to a good cause.

"O-Okay then. Uhm. Would you like some help with choosing a video editing software program? We sell exclusive Rosewood Tech software for both amateurs and pro vloggers alike." Mindy directed my attention over near the entrance where they sold all manners of software products and programs.

"Great! I hadn't even considered that I might need to edit my videos. You have one for beginners with a good hand book? I like reading up on doing things properly; I don't like jumping through hoops when it comes to work." I paid utmost attention to Mindy while she explained and showed me to a couple of programs.

"But I think this one will fit you the best Mister Hodges. It's smart and easy to use, complete with a handbook and instructions manual." She showed me a neat looking program, which indeed seemed like it might be fun to learn about.

"Yes, this one is fine. I'll take it." I now had a small assortment of gadgets in my lap, and the pile only seemed to grow.

"Wonderful! Will that be all, or do you have anything else you might want to check out?" She gestured around the shop with a paw.

Well I have a proper camera now, two sets of microphones, and the program to mix it all up. I'm set.

"That would be all, thanks. You've been such a great help Mindy. How about I give you that autograph while you ring up my purchase?" I said with a wink.

"Oh yes! I mean, of course! Right this way Mister Hodges." Mindy hurried over to the cash register, and while she fumbled with the machine I loaded up all my selections up on the counter.

*Ding dong* The bell to the store's doors rang when they opened.

"Oh! Mr. Sanders! W-What brings you here?" Mindy squeaked out in an extremely high pitch voice.

Huh... Mr. Sanders? Surely it can't be.

"Hello there Mindy! I'm actually here for a pick up, and I believe you have something for me in the back yes? Oh but I see you have a customer, I'll just wait until you're finished up." A loud, gruffy voice bellowed out in high spirits. I turned my wheelchair sideways to get a look at, what could only be described as a hunky, wolf daddy.

With piercing yellow eyes, and his black hair tied in a tight pony tail. And, oh my.

Hehehe, why Lukas. I can see why you wouldn't want to let this one slip away.

"Hi there! Matthew Sanders at your service." The large wolf approached, Mindy squeaked like a broken toy as the lumbering hunk got close. His appearance screamed mafia boss, but the way he spoke was more like a sales person who used fear as his marketing tool.

"Pleasure Mr. Sanders, I'm Ian Hodges." I reached out for the large paw extended for me to shake. Gods be damned. He carried himself with such masculinity even I got a little bit horny.

"By all means, call me Matt. I only make my subordinates call me Mr. Sanders. And you are our valued customer Mr. Hodges, how did you find our customer service?" Oh wow. So this wolf is Mindy's boss? I mean... just wow. Lukas, you really do attract some of the most influential furs of this city.

"Most excellent Matt, most excellent indeed. Mindy here personally helped me pick out all this gear with poise and self assurance. She's a most dedicated worker. And please, call me Ian. Mister Hodges is my pen name." I smirked up at the wolf, flicking my bushy fox tail, laying on the praise on the squirrel girl who stood quietly behind the cash register and worked on scanning up all my purchases.

With all these hints dropped, and no mention of my relation to Lukas, then my little human mustn't have spilled the beans that I was the friend they'll be visiting on Saturday.

Should I? I should, shouldn't I?

"That's what I like to hear, makes me so happy to know we've been able to assist you Ian. I'll make sure Mindy gets all the credit and praise for this sale personally." He scratched his chin and nodded, yellow golden eyes inspecting the squirrel clerk.

"Pen name, eh? You an author then?" He asked casually, but I could tell he was really curious about it.

"I am. Ever read from A Throne Under the Aurora book series?" I turned my attention to Mindy and fished out my signing pen I always had one me when I went outside. Always be prepared, I'd like to say.

"Do you want me to sign anything specific? Or should I use my note block?" My eyes glanced over to the total sum of my purchase, ouch... $871, that was a lot. Sure I had the money to spare, but I was usually not the one to spend big money.

"Oh-... uhm-... a paper from your note block will be fine." She said hurriedly.

I nodded and got out the note block I had stuffed into a pocket. It wasn't big or anything, but it was something for emergency autograph writing.

"A Throne Under the Aurora... No, can't say I've ever read that sad to say. Maybe I'll pick up a copy on my way home." Matt had this, cute, look on his muzzle as he pondered. Perky ears flicked occasionally, and his long tail swayed from side to side like clockwork.

"If you do I'd be most grateful for it, and I hope you will like it. Nothing like knowing your handiwork is spreading joy around the world, eh?" I spoke while simultaneously scribbling down a flashy autograph with practiced ease. I ripped off the piece of paper and handed it over along with my card to pay for my new gadgets.

"Here you go Mindy, one autograph as promised. And my card to pay for the rest." A shaky paw accepted the piece of paper and my card. Mindy took extra care to safely fold the piece of paper and put it in her pocket before she would attend to finish up my purchase.

"T-There, I need you to sign these..." She pushed a copy of the receipt forward, which I repeated my motion of signing an autograph with before I pushed them back to the clerk.

"T-Thank you, here you go Mister Hodges. I hope you'll return to Rosewood Tech!" She made a gracious bow, before she vanished in a puff of smoke.

"I'll gogetyouthatpackagenow Mr. Sanders!" She squeaked behind her.

"I'll be right here, waiting." The large wolf called after her, smirking almost eerie like...

"You're right Ian. Nothing like seeing your handiwork spread happiness. From one creator to another, I salute you." Matt did a short, militaristic salute.

"Oh?" I found myself asking, taking the bag of gadgets into my lap.

"I helped code that video editing program you just purchased. So I guess we have something in common, eh?" He flashed a most intimidating grin, and if I didn't know better I would fear for my life right now.

"I guess you could say that, yes." I smiled with the flick of my bushy tail. Mindy returned from the back room and handed over a brown paper bag to the wolf boss.

"H-Here you go Mr. Sanders. Thank you for checking up on us!" She almost shouted towards the end. From behind her a tired looking skunk lady made her appearance.

"Oh, Mr. Sanders really is here." The skunk lady said, sounding bored at the fact her boss was in front of her.

"And you're distant as ever Velma. Don't neglect your sales pitch now, you can't just leave poor Mindy alone out on the floor." Matt sounded angry and rough when he spoke. But something about the way he looked just... made him seem the opposite?

I don't think even the skunk named Velma was intimidated the least bit.

"Yes, yes Mr. Sanders. Whatever you say. I'll work hard." Velma raised a paw in faked enthusiasm.

"Brilliant. Well. I'll be off now, gotta stop by the book store on my way home. Might even grab a bite, I'm starving." Matt patted his muscular stomach for emphasis.

Meanwhile... I observed the boss & subordinate banter quietly where I sat. This was almost as entertaining as a sitcom.

Anyone have any popcorn?

"How about you Ian? Think I could tempt you with a bite to eat? I could also use your help to pick up that book you mentioned." Matt grunted out. He gestured towards the outside.

Oh, this was almost too perfect. Hahaha!

"You know what, I just thinking I should get something to eat. That way I don't have to cook when I get home. And I'll be happy to accompany you to the book store. In fact, I know just the one where we can find my book for sale." A very sly grin spread on my lips. I had a hard time controlling my mischievously flicking tail.

My fox sense was tingling all over.

And not in the same way Lukas made my fox sense tingle.

"Lovely, well. We'll be off then ladies. I'll leave the store in your care once again." He bowed most politely to his subordinates.

Together we went out of the tech shop.

"Over there, the Book Corner. I know for a fact they sell my book there." I pointed a bit down the mall.

I looked up at the tall wolf, tall as he was, looking in the way I pointed, so I chanced a glance at his rear...

...

Wow.

That's... *gulp* Oh lord. I feel all tingly just looking at those pair of mounds of muscle.

"Great, let's get going then." Matt said.

To my surprise the huge wolf took measured steps despite his eagerness, making t easy for me to keep up while I used my paws to roll my wheelchair forward.

"You know, I rarely shop here. Even if I visit regularly to check up on the local shops I almost never take time off like this." Matt mused. He scratched his chin as I've seen him do a couple of times now.

It seemed to be his trademark 'ponder face'.

"That's a bit of a shame really. There's so much to experience and so many people to meet when you wander around shopping in a mall. Take you and I as an example." I mused.

This really was uncanny, and fucking hilarious. I wish I could record it and show it to Lukas. Oh wait...

I grinned.