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Without fail, and without a minute's delay, Viina's phone vibrated with a notification, announcing Dr. Prin joined a Zoom call for their therapy session. Viina wondered if the woman was always as punctual in life or if she dedicated extra effort to her patients. One thing her punctuality did, was remove any chance of Viina canceling because the doctor was late. Taking a moment to inhale a deep breath through her mouth, the pale dragoness held it for a moment before exhaling slowly through her nose and tapping the notification with a talon-tipped digit.

It always took her phone a few seconds to connect to their video call, and Viina used the time to slip the phone back into its holster and strap the bindings that would normally wrap around her wrist, around the corner post of her bed's headboard. Now she could curl her neck back into a more neutral ‘S’ shape as she talked. She watched as the spinning circle on the screen continued to turn until the face of her therapist finally appeared. The image quality was pixelated and frozen at first, but quickly refined itself as the connection became stable, allowing the dragoness to see the woman's features in crisp detail. Viina had never met her doctor in person, but judging by her frumpy appearance, her shaggy, brown, shoulder-length hair, and thick black-framed glasses that seemed to magnify the size of her eyes, Viina imagined she would smell of cats.

“Good afternoon, Viina. Can you hear me okay?” the woman asked, her eyes darting from side to side as she likely checked the settings on her computer. Despite her large glasses, the woman still squinted as she double-checked before Viina finally nodded.

“Evening, Doc,” Viina answered politely but shortly. It was seven in the evening for Viina but likely just after lunch where the doctor was stationed.

“Evening, huh? So where are you now?” the doctor asked, turning a page in the dreaded notebook in front of her. The sight of the black-covered book at the bottom of the picture reminded Viina that anything she said could and would likely be used against her later. “Last time we spoke, you were in… Ireland, heading to Italy?”

“Yes, ma'am,” Viina said stiffly, dipping her head in acknowledgment. However, the doctor looked at her expectantly, understanding that the woman wanted a more specific answer. “I've made it to Tuscany. I'm an hour west of Florence.”

“How does it compare to Ireland?” the doctor asked, clearly trying to ease Viina into giving more than one-word answers. It was a strategic move that Viina had come to expect. While the dragoness could navigate conversations away from herself when talking to strangers, this woman was a professional and could be tenacious sometimes.

“Much warmer,” Viina said, earning a small smile from the doctor but also a flourish of the woman's pen-laden hand as she motioned for Viina to elaborate. Swallowing, Viina continued, knowing that the more she talked about her surroundings, the less time they would have to talk about more painful things. “Not just the temperature, but it's more orange here. Ireland was nice, but it was very green, blue, and grey. Here… it's warmer, more reds and yellows.”

“Do you prefer it being warmer?” the doctor asked while scribbling in her notebook. What the woman could possibly be writing concerned Viina, and she waited until the doctor looked at her over the top of her black-framed glasses before continuing.

“I don't know, it's just different,” Viina said, shrugging her wing stumps under her harness. “It's nicer to explore when it's not cold and raining, so yes? I guess I do.” She fidgeted with her claws. “This town I'm in, the buildings are pretty close together, so they cast enough shade, but there are gaps where it opens, and you can sit at a café in the sun.”

“That sounds lovely,” the doctor said, hurriedly writing in her notebook. The sound of the ballpoint pen on the paper filled the silence as she continued to write until, finally, the woman stopped and looked over the top of her glasses at Viina. “How long do you think you will stay in the town?”

“I don't know,” Viina started, turning her head to glance toward the open balcony door. The evening breeze moved the pale drapes listlessly, and she looked beyond them at the buildings across the street. “I've been here for a few days, but I'm still discovering more. Maybe a day or more, and then I'll keep moving.”

“Are you still following your list of countries?” the doctor asked, and a small tightness gripped Viina's chest as she felt the woman shift the conversation toward the real reason they were talking. With a curt nod, Viina answered without giving the woman any words to use as ammunition and searched her face for any clues about her next move. A flicker of disappointment flashed in the woman’s eyes as she paused just long enough to make a straight line with her pen, likely underlining something she had previously written, before she leaned back in her chair and looked Viina in the eyes. “Do you find the list gives you purpose?”

Viina’s head recoiled back half an inch as she tried to unpack the question. Of course, the list gave her purpose, but she thought of the plethora of follow-up questions the woman could ask if she answered yes or lied. If she said no, would the woman ask if she was aimless and lacked purpose? If she said yes, what would that mean? After tilting her head to think, Viina finally shrugged her wing stumps under her harness and gave a half-committed answer. “I guess so.” For a moment, she wondered if the woman had heard her, or if the connection had frozen, as she simply continued to look at her with that same unblinking stare. “Doing the countries in alphabetical order means a lot of trains, but they do trains well here,” she added in an attempt to deflect the questions to something less personal.

The woman didn't take the bait and instead pushed her glasses up her nose and looked at her with eyes that seemed to read Viina’s mind. “I’d like to talk more about lists, if that's okay?” she asked, almost rhetorically. The dragoness inhaled sharply but nodded. A small part of Viina appreciated the warning of what the conversation was going to be about, but she couldn't shake the feeling like she was in the crosshairs again. The woman used both hands to pinch the ends of her pen and rotated it absentmindedly as she continued, “Many of my clients need to use lists to help them with day-to-day tasks. It helps create a routine, often self-care and other things they have to do,” she continued, and paused while holding Viina’s gaze. “These lists can help when they are having a particularly bad day as it gives them focus. However, there are risks with creating lists that have a finite end. You mentioned this was a list of all the countries in Europe, right?”

Viina swallowed quickly and nodded, already guessing what the doctor was about to ask. “It's just a list, Doc, like you said. It helps focus me,” she added hastily, noticing the woman's eyebrows lift ever so slightly.

“Have you put much thought into what happens when the list runs out?” The doctor asked, lowering her pen hand out of view to begin writing. The scratching sound of the nib on the paper made Viina's jaw clench, and she found herself unable to look at the screen as she contemplated what she would do. Even though Viina was very conscious that she was halfway through the countries, she had to admit to herself that she hadn’t given the issue a single thought.

With a simple shrug, she tried to dismiss the doctor's question. However, the woman simply waited until Viina inhaled and let out a soft sigh. “I don't know. After Europe, I was going to head to Australia,” she said., but when the doctor finished scribbling, she continued to look at her, as if waiting for Viina to finish. “But after that… I don't know. I'm sure I'll think of something. Maybe Asia, or maybe I'll come back and do it all again,” she added. Her mind flicked back to her conversations with Keekzee and the realization that she had visited dozens of countries yet still was so incredibly ignorant of their history. There was so much to learn and discover, and the more she thought about it, the more she felt herself committing to the idea of returning. “Yeah… I'll probably come back.”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn't jealous,” the doctor said, her eyes still down at her notepad. The simple statement caught Viina off guard, and her eye ridges narrowed in confusion as the woman continued to hastily write. Finally, after what felt like an age, the doctor's eyes flicked up, and a small smile formed on her lips. “I spend my days in these four walls, and you're off traveling the world,” she added, and with a small flourish of her hand, she gestured to the walls of her office.

“You could just quit,” Viina said, perhaps with more bite in her voice than she intended. The small smile on the doctor's lips turned into something more exasperated as she leaned back in her chair and began rolling the pen between her hands.

“Nah, I couldn’t do that. I've got too many clients that need me,” she said finally, giving Viina a small nod. “But I mean it though. Not many have the freedom to see the world like you do.”

The word ‘freedom’ rankled Viina. After all, it wasn't how she would have described her obligation to visit the countries. However, she paused as she opened her mouth to correct the woman's idea of her journey. Viina hastily formulated her response as she recounted their previous sessions, trying to remember how much she had told the woman about her travels. She had only mentioned that she had a list of countries she wanted to visit, not the real reason behind the order. It had been an easy lie to tell the doctor—that she simply felt like doing them in alphabetical order—and it made sense to focus on Europe. “Well, I guess one of us has to do it then,” Viina replied with a hint of mock smugness in her voice.

“While I don't condone alcohol, drink a glass of red wine for me, Viina,” Doctor Prin said with a rare smile before seeming to catch herself. The woman glanced down at her notebook before looking back up at the camera and into Viina's eyes. “Last session, you said you were going to reach out to your old unit,” she calmly added, returning her pen to her notebook. Viina's chest tightened at the mention, and she scratched at her foreleg with her other paw. “Any progress on that?”

Viina nodded ever so slightly as she swallowed. “I sent a funny to the guys of Charlie-Two,” she said, taking a deep breath. The woman didn't hurry her and averted her gaze to write, which made it easier for Viina to speak. “I didn't really know what to say. But it's a start, right?”

Nodding, the doctor continued to scribble and kept quiet for almost a full minute. When Viina didn't elaborate, she looked up again. “Charlie-Two was the unit you first deployed with, right? Not your recon unit?” she asked, flipping back a few pages. The sound of so much paper being turned made Viina wonder just how big her file had become, but her curiosity was pushed aside when the woman's eyes lit up briefly. “Ah, yes. Golf Company. Have you spoken to any of them?”

Officially, the reconnaissance unit that was dedicated to forward observation and overwatch was designated with the letter ‘G’. When using the radio alphabet, the name became ‘Golf’. Its name was a source of ridicule amongst the younger Marines in the corps, and to an outsider, the unit always looked as if they weren't helping, as the Marines of Golf Company were often sent to watch the invading units' flanks or alternate approaches that could catch the main fighting force off guard. Jokes about the unit playing golf while they fought were not original, or even clever, but they were common. However, while the younger recruits of other units joined in on the banter, the more seasoned Marines often referred to them by their unofficial and internal name, ‘Guardians’. Like the rest of the Army, it was composed of a mixture of humans and dragons, the group was a close-knit collection of the Marines' more observant members. Those who couldn't keep calm under pressure or relay information accurately stood no chance at becoming a Guardian, and it wasn't uncommon for a Guardian to be confused with a member of the Air Force because of their calm demeanor and constant presence at hangars and air fields.

“No, I haven't spoken to them,” Viina admitted, briefly wrinkling her brow as she glanced away. “We weren't really in that unit for very long before, you know. Neither of us were really one of them,” she lied. Being one of the few ‘nesses in the corps, Viina had often lingered on the outskirts of any group she was in. Riimack, on the other hand, had been so at ease making friends anywhere he went that she was somewhat jealous. Viina's mind flashed back to how he had introduced himself to their deployed unit. Within minutes of stepping off their transport, the large silver and blue drake had stopped by the PX and stocked up on every overpriced bag of candy, treats, and dried snacks he could afford. He then shared his hoard with the members stationed with them and instantly became one of the group. Any time they got paid, the drake would celebrate by buying more treats for them all and, after a few pay cycles, started a tradition of sharing snacks that she and other members began to participate in. Command didn't seem to care, or at least made no attempts to stop them. However, the knowledge that Riimack had become such a beloved member of the unit tore at Viina and added fuel to the gasoline fire of guilt in her mind. After all, it was because of her that he wasn't there anymore.

“Are you sure, Viina? You were stationed with them for a few months,” the doctor said with firmness in her voice that made Viina adjust her forepaws, bringing them closer together defensively. “They might like to know that you are doing okay,” she added, causing Viina's lip to twitch.

‘But you're not doing okay,’ taunted a dark voice from the back of her mind. Shaking her head briefly, Viina knew it would be easier to roll over than to fight the doctor. She inhaled deeply before nodding. “Sure, yeah… I'll talk to them,” she lied. The doctor's lingering stare told her that she would ask again next session.

Thankfully, the doctor didn't seem to press the deceit. Instead, she scribbled a small note before looking back at Viina with the same critical expression she gave when unamused with something Viina said. “Speaking of reaching out, I’d like to talk about your family–”

“I'd rather not,” Viina said flatly, unable to shake the feeling that this was some sort of punishment for lying. “Anything but those fucks,” she spat and made no attempt to stop her lips from lifting to reveal her sharp ivory fangs. With her phone strapped to the headboard and not pressed against her foreleg, Viina was glad that the spike in her heart rate wasn't being recorded and analyzed by the doctor.

“We don't have to talk about your parents, Viina,” the doctor said gently, but in a way that made it clear she wasn't giving up. Credit where it was due, a dragon's snarl would often give a human pause, yet the display only made the doctor speak more calmly and lock her eyes with Viina's. Viina wondered if she would still be so calm if they weren't separated by thousands of miles, but she had no intention of finding out. After a moment, the dragoness slowly closed her lips but still held her neck rigid as she waited for the woman to change the topic. “You mentioned that you had a sibling, a twin?” Doctor Prin asked, making Viina's nostrils flare. “Have you thought about trying to reconnect–”

“He has nothing to do with us,” Viina snapped, recoiling her head back as if stung and images of her parents berating her, taunting her with comments that they should have kept the other egg raced through her mind like wildfire. Lifting her paw, she reached for the phone to terminate the call. With just a simple press of the screen, the woman would disappear. However, as she gripped the phone and went to mash the button, she stopped, her digit a hair's breadth away from the screen as she saw the expression on the doctor's face. It wasn't angry, defeated, or even disappointed. She didn't roll her eyes or snarl back like her parents would have. Instead, she looked at the dragoness with genuine worry etched into her features.

“Viina,” the woman said softly, her voice just above a whisper, almost missed by her microphone. “I understand these sessions are painful for you, but I need help understanding if I'm to be able to help you. You do want help, don't you?” she asked slowly, causing Viina's jaw to clench and the corded muscles in her neck to shift under her pale scales. The doctor waited for Viina to reply, but the dragoness' mind tore itself to ribbons as she grappled with the simple question. A traitorous part of her mind told her she didn't deserve help and that the crushing weight of her guilt was all she deserved for what she had done, or rather, let happen.

“Viina, it's going to be okay.” The doctor said, a flicker of warmth in her voice as she leaned closer to the camera until her face filled the screen. “You are a brilliant Marine; your record shows this. If I were deployed, I would love to have you by my side. But now, in these sessions, I'm going to need you to trust me. This is a battlefield you may be new to, but I'm not. I’ve been through this more times than I'd like to, and I can help you get out alive. Do you understand? I'm not your enemy; I'm here to get you to safety,” she explained in a rehearsed, yet genuine voice. “If you don't open up to me, Viina, then I can't get you out. You hear me? We need to work together on this, as a unit,” she added.

Turning her head away from the camera and staring toward the end of the small apartment, the dragoness forced herself to inhale deeply and slowly. Holding the breath as she felt the thundering of her heart pounding in her chest, she exhaled through clenched teeth, her frill flattening against her neck. Her mind flickered back to her basic training, and how the many exercises were impossible without her partner. The imagery of the quagmire-like fighting pits she trained on during her basic training brought Viina some comfort, as it was something she could understand. The grim, dark sludge of depression and guilt squeezed between her digits as she squared off with her opponents, her instructor's words echoing in her ears: she needed to fight with her partner to survive. It was designed to unite the members of the unit and set the foundation for them to work together to win.

Swallowing, Viina closed her eyes and realized that this session was no different. After a few minutes that felt like they dragged on for the entirety of the session, Viina finally turned her head back toward her phone but averted her gaze from the doctor. “Fine,” she said simply, but when the doctor didn't press the moment, Viina glanced up to see the doctor waiting expectantly. Swallowing again slowly, Viina tried to bury her burning emotions and fidgeted with her forepaws. “What do you want to know, Ma'am?”

Doctor Prin didn't hurry and instead let the moment hang for a few seconds before brushing a lock of shaggy hair away from her glasses. “You've told me you were separated as eggs, but you think of him as male. Why is that?” she asked, and Viina saw the woman's pen hand disappear out of frame to begin writing.

“It's better if he is male,” Viina said flatly. Truthfully, she didn't know, but while she had been growing up and piecing together the clues that her parents had let slip, she prayed that he was a drake. The doctor didn't seem to accept the answer, and with a twitch of her eyebrow, encouraged Viina to continue. “My parents sold him while he was still an egg. They didn't want the two of us... I'm not sure they even wanted one of us.” Viina started and forced herself to breathe as her chest became as tight as a drum. “They sold him for a pawful of gift cards and a keg of moonshine,” she added with a sense of finality.

“Are you sure, Viina? The sale of dragon eggs has been outlawed for over a—”

“I’m sure, they told me. Fuckers kept the keg to turn into a table,” Viina retorted sharply, and her eyes became glossy. Looking away from the camera, her red frill twitched once with agitation, and she ran her talons over her other paw in a restless fidget.

“They must have had a good reason, Viina—”

“What is a good reason to sell your own child?” Viina asked critically, focusing back on the doctor. “Tell me. ‘Cause I’m all fucking ears over here,” she asked bitterly, and when the doctor swallowed and offered no reply, Viina waved a paw to dismiss her. “Even in butt-fuck nowhere, there are places to send unwanted eggs. But they chose to sell him instead, turn a profit just because they could, without thinking about what would happen to him,” she added, feeling her emotions building to a breaking point.

“They must have had their reasons. I take it they didn’t tell you?” Doctor Prin asked as she jotted down a few swift notes. Viina shook her head briefly and stared at the wall. She had asked her parents many times, but their responses were never consistent. Most of the time, they blamed it on not being able to afford to raise two, as she already cost them so much, or ate too much, or caused too much of a mess. Whatever the truth was, it was something only her parents knew, and the idea of asking them again sent a shiver through Viina’s body. “And you call him male—why is that?”

Without turning her head back toward the camera, Viina glanced toward the woman and consciously relaxed her jaw enough so she could talk. “There ain’t many reasons why someone would pay for an egg in this day and age. Adoption is an option if it was an honest family looking to raise a little one. The types of people who buy a black-market egg aren’t the good parent type,” Viina started before closing her eyes and steadying her breathing. Just talking about her past had her heart beating rapidly, and by slowing her breathing, it felt as if she were suffocating herself to calm her emotions. “You’ve seen the documentaries of the modern dragon trade, haven’t you, doc?” Viina asked softly. “What happens to the hatchlings? What people pay to do to them?”

The doctor didn’t nod and instead leaned back in her chair. “It’s important that we focus on the facts and don’t speculate,” she said before holding up a finger. “I’m not trying to discredit what you’re saying, and yes, I’ve seen those horrible stories. There are some sick fucks out there, Trust me… I know. But we need to be realistic about these sorts of things, or else they have a tendency to fester and control us.”

Viina scoffed and rolled her eyes. “So you’re saying I’m overreacting—”

“Viina, I never said that,” the doctor corrected firmly without raising her voice. “I’m saying that emotions and memories can be a dangerous thing if we allow them to be. I’m not telling you to forget what your parents did. I’m just suggesting that we strip back what we think, versus what we know,” she said, leaning forward to look at the dragoness more closely. “Do you think he is a drake because you’re afraid of what will happen if they were a ‘ness?”

With a stiff nod, Viina hissed softly as she exhaled, feeling as though she was explaining the obvious. “Is there anything wrong with that?” she asked with a bladed tongue. When the doctor didn't reply, she looked up at the ceiling and focused on the texture of the crown moldings. “If they hatched a ’ness, I– I don't want to think about where they are now. I’m half to blame for their fate after all–”

“No, you're not–”

“Math is math, Doc. They gave one of us away because there were two of us. So I’m half responsible.” Viina chided and returned her focus to the doctor to read her reaction. The woman's concerning stare had made an appearance, but she waited until Viina had made it clear she wasn't talking before she adjusted her glasses and cleared her throat.

“What your parents did was not your fault, Viina. In no world was that your fault,” the doctor implored. “I need you to understand that, Viina.” she added, but Viina simply hissed and looked away. “Viina, surely you wouldn't blame a hatchling for something they couldn't control, would you?” she asked, and Viina's mind immediately shifted to Kaariyo and how she had interacted with the hatchling.

“Of course not–”

“Then how can you blame yourself for what happened when you hadn’t even hatched yet?” The woman asked, and Viina felt her rebuttal die in her throat. The dragoness opened her mouth to retort, but froze when the doctor looked at her sternly and held up her pen, “This is important Viina, try to forget what your folks might have told you. They made a choice, something that you couldn’t change or have any influence over,” she added and as much as Viina hated to admit it, she could see the doctor’s point. “Do you understand?” she asked while bringing her pen to her notebook.

A subtle, sharp nod was the only indication that Viina gave that she had heard the woman, as she kneaded her digits together in the crumpled sheets of her bed. It had become a lie she had long accepted, but ultimately, it had been her parents who had trained her to feel as if her lost twin was her fault. This revelation wasn’t completely new and deep down she had always known this to be true, but now she felt somewhat vindicated by the doctor saying it out loud and could remind herself if needed.

“Your sibling,” the doctor started, and Viina's attention snapped back to the present. “Let's call him a drake for now. What do you think he is doing?” she asked gently, continuing to jot down notes. When Viina didn't respond, she looked up and rephrased her question. “What do you hope he is doing?”

Swallowing, Viina shrugged her wing stumps and looked away but could tell that the woman wouldn't relent. “Drug running,” Viina said softly and ran her paw up her foreleg to scratch at her scales absentmindedly. The woman's reaction was one of confusion, and Viina offered a small token smile before elaborating. “It's realistic, right? People who buy an egg without caring about gender must have reasons for both ‘nesses and drakes. Drug running is the nicest I can think of. It's outdoors, flying, just him and his wings. Crossing the border down south somewhere, where it's warm…” she explained before cocking her head. “Better than some underground fighting pit or something,” she added before looking down and inspecting her claws. The training pit at basic training was a PG imitation of the dimly lit cages where underworld dragons fought to the death, but she imagined that he would probably do okay if he was anything like her. She had been on the back paw during training, having been a ‘ness and physically smaller than the many males in her unit, but she had learned to hold her own quickly. If she was as strong and large as Riimack, she would have been formidable in the ring.

“What if he had a good life? Where would he be–”

“I’m sorry, Doc, I don't live in a fantasy land. His owners bought him under the table, a backhanded deal between evil people,” she hissed and shook her head. “I hope he got a better deal than me, but I'm not going to sugarcoat it. My parents are pieces of shit, but he would have had worse. So, I don't like thinking about what happened to him–”

“What if he needed saving?” The doctor asked casually, resting her pen on the page while studying Viina's features. The question cut through her core like a scalpel wielded by a surgeon and silenced her in an instant. The image she had in her mind of what her brother might look like surfaced. Although they were twins, it was possible that they looked different. However, Viina imagined he would look like her, just larger, more muscular, with pale, scarred, and chipped scales and a crimson frill tattooed with gang markings. Her image of him was fierce and unwelcoming, yet the thought of helping him clawed into her closed-off mind.

“I doubt he's alive. People in that line of work don't live long,” Viina retorted quietly, though she knew her argument was fragile. “Besides, I have no way of finding him,” she added, looking back at the screen to see the woman tilt her head as if she knew the answer. “I ain't asking my parents,” Viina snapped sharply, but to her surprise, the woman waved a hand to dismiss the idea.

“Maybe leave the ‘how’ until later. For now, I’m going to give you the homework of thinking about whether you would like to find him,” she said, scribbling quickly in her notebook. “We’ll talk about that at the start of the next session, okay? We’ll discuss how good it would be to be reunited with him,” she added with a hint of a smile, and Viina couldn't help but smirk.

“Sure, Doc,” the dragoness murmured and glanced at the top of her phone. It was only halfway through their session, and she adjusted her posture so that her forepaws were tucked close to her chest as she lay on the bed. Viina waited for the doctor to lead and watched as she turned back a page and read through her notes.

“I wanted to talk about this morning, your morning,” the doctor said calmly, flicking her eyes towards Viina. “Your heart rate and body temperature went through the roof for quite some time. Can you tell me what happened?”

Viina's jaw clenched, and her frill flattened against her neck as she remembered that the doctor could see the vitals recorded by her phone. “Just overdid it on a run, that’s all, Viina said flatly. “Next question–”

“Viina, I’m not buying that. I know that you know your limits pretty well,” the woman said sternly, shaking her head disapprovingly. “You know how this works. I can't help you if you aren't honest with me,” she added, her gaze critical, making Viina's crimson neck frill lift defensively.

“It was just a run, nothing to write home about,” Viina said too quickly to be believable, but she held the woman’s gaze. Growing up, she had never been good at lying. More often than not, her frill betrayed her emotions and flattened against her neck whenever she tried to deceive her parents. Over time, she had gained control over her frill, although it required a conscious effort to make it behave. Instead, it was often easier to speak half-truths or focus on one specific part of what had happened in order to maintain her frill’s position. Looking into the doctor’s eyes, Viina tried to appear convincing, though she suspected the doctor still saw through her deception. “You told me that that exercise was good for my mental health, so I went for a run,” she added, feeling as though she had overdone it.

After a minute, the woman finally moved and brought her pen to her notebook. “Exercise is good, but this was more than that, wasn't it?” she asked gently, beginning to write something down. “Were you running away from something, or towards something?” The doctor paused, looking up at the dragoness again.

For a brief moment, Viina thought the woman was asking if she had been trying to evade an assailant. However, after a second, she understood the abstract nature of the question and felt her mouth go dry. “Towards somewhere, nothing bad was happening,” Viina said, contemplating telling the woman she had just been heading to the lookout. It would be an easy and simple answer to a deliberately difficult question designed to make her think. Scratching her foreleg with her paw again, Viina tilted her head toward the ceiling as she searched for the courage to open herself up to the woman. Viina hoped the doctor would move on to another question, but instead, she simply waited for the dragoness to continue. Taking a deep breath, Viina kept her voice just above a whisper as she focused on the ornate crown molding on the ceiling. “I was late, that's all. I slept in and almost missed the sunrise,” she said finally. Viina expected to hear the scratching of the doctor’s pen against the paper, but instead, she heard nothing but the woman’s silence. Glancing down, she saw the doctor was still looking at her as if waiting for more of an answer. “That's all,” she added with a sense of finality.

“Your vitals showed that your body temperature went dangerously high, your pulse too,” the doctor said, twisting the cap of her pen with her thumb. When Viina shrugged her wing stumps, the doctor sighed softly before reaching off-frame to collect a glass of water and take a small sip. “Did you make it? To wherever you were trying to get to see the sunrise?”

“Just,” Viina said with a small nod. “I’ll get up earlier next time.”

“Next time? Is this a regular occurrence, that you go and watch the sunrise?” Doctor Prin said, resuming her note-taking.

The tightness in Viina's chest was suffocating, and her insides felt as if they were contorting into knots as she came close to explaining to the doctor why she did it. With a small nod, she answered the doctor's question, and the concerned look the woman gave her spoke louder than any words. Leaning gently to one side, Viina swept her tail around her paws and looked down at the long appendage. Lowering her front until she rested her weight on her chest and elbows, she began inspecting the scales on her tail absentmindedly as she tried to find the right words. “I promised I would,” Viina started softly, picking at a chipped scale. She wasn't sure when it had happened, and thankfully, it wasn't bad. The pale white scale lacked the luster compared to the other small plates of keratin, which was a sign it was about to shed the top layer. Unlike fish that drop scales or reptiles who shed the top layer of their scales in large swathes, an adult dragon's scales shed individually. Rubbing the surface with a paw pad, she tested it to see if it was close, and felt that it wasn't ready.

“Promised who?” Doctor Prin asked softly, bringing Viina's mind back to the question. “Riimack?” she guessed. The mention of his name felt like a blade slipping between Viina's ribs and caused the dragoness's breath to momentarily halt. Pursing her lips so they wouldn't tremble, she continued to pick at the scale, offering only a small silent nod in answer to the doctor's question. “Was this promise made before or after the crash?” the woman asked softly, devoid of judgment.

Viina understood what the doctor meant and took a moment to think. “Both,” she replied before flicking her eyes toward the doctor. To her surprise, the doctor wasn't scribbling notes and was instead looking at her. Viina's nostrils flared slightly as she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes as she formulated her answer. “It was silly.”

“I very much doubt that,” the doctor said simply, causing the dragoness's eyes to open and snap to hers. “A promise between mates is rarely trivial. Likewise, how hard you ran this morning tells me it was very important,” she explained, then gestured with her pen for the dragoness to continue. “Tell me about it. What did you promise?”

Swallowing past the lump forming in her throat, Viina shook her body as if trying to rid herself of the crushing weight and forced herself to continue. “We made plans to visit Europe. We were going to see all of it, try for an egg–” Her voice became strained, and she gripped her tail tightly with both paws, looking away briefly. The pain of speaking about what was taken from her hurt almost as much as losing it the first time, and she felt her heart pound in her chest as adrenaline surged through her. “He said… he promised he'd give me the world,” she started and looked at the woman with glossy eyes. “I told him I'd give him the sun. This… this is how I do that.” A wave of self-consciousness washed over the dragoness as she said the words out loud, and she caught the woman's lips tightening in a look of sympathy.

“So you see every sunrise, for both of you?” the woman asked, refraining from taking notes so she could remain focused on Viina.

Nodding, Viina glanced toward the doctor and blinked back tears. “Before coming to Italy, I looked online and saw a picture of this town at dawn. It was beautiful, and he would have loved to see it,” she started, sniffing sharply as her nose began to run. Swallowing and then exhaling through her mouth, Viina extracted her tail from her grip. It felt childish to be holding her tail for security, so she shifted her mind's focus away from Riimack and toward the logistics of her run to make it easier on herself. “The picture didn't say where it was taken from exactly, but I worked it out. I found a topographical map and matched the hills in the photo. I was always good with maps… it was only a few clicks west of town, and it was a small picnic spot.”

“Did you make it in time?” the doctor asked. When Viina nodded, the woman smiled softly. “And was it as good as the picture you saw?”

“Better… much better,” Viina said with a warm smile and a distant look as she remembered how beautiful the moment had been. Even though she had a photo on her phone and could share it with the doctor with just a few button presses, the image felt too precious to show the woman.

“That's good to hear, Viina. It’s good to have a routine, especially one that gets you out of bed.” The woman started, putting her pen to paper. “Many of my clients find getting out of bed the most difficult thing they have to do each day. So if this works for you, then go for it. However, if you miss one, that’s okay, alright?”

Viina’s frill flicked up to full extension, but before she could open her mouth to disagree, the woman held her pen up to silence the dragoness. “He wouldn't hold you to this promise, would he?” she asked, and Viina felt her rebuttal crumble in her mouth. “It’s great that you are holding yourself accountable, but don’t hold yourself to an impossible standard. Sleep is necessary–”

“I made a promise, doc. I’m not going to go back on it. Especially not when I’m here and he isn’t,” Viina said firmly, her words ending with a low growl in her throat.

Either the microphone in Viina's phone hadn’t captured the rumble, or the doctor's resolve was ironclad, as she continued to stare into the camera and into Viina’s eyes. “Just because he’s gone doesn’t mean he wouldn’t want you to take care of yourself, Viina. I’m not telling you to stop doing your ritual, but I don’t want to see you hurt yourself just because something happened that you couldn’t avoid,” she explained, circling something on her page only after the briefest glance down to her book. “You can honor him in another way, and there will always be the next day. Surely he would understand if you didn’t get up before dawn each day.”

Viina didn’t nod and became so still that the doctor glanced to the side of her screen to see if the connection had broken. What pained Viina was that the doctor was right. Riimack enjoyed a sleep-in, or rather, as much as could be afforded while deployed. This fact burrowed into her mind and set about spreading roots of doubt. Was she really doing something he would enjoy? After all, it had been her decision to see the sunrises, not his. And if he were here, they’d likely spend the mornings in each other’s embrace.

“Viina?” asked the doctor as she leaned forward in her chair and began clicking with her mouse. When the dragoness finally blinked, the woman paused and studied Viina’s expression. “Did you hear what I said? I think we broke up there–”

“I heard you,” Viina said flatly, bringing her forepaws together while dragging the bedsheets. Kneading the clump of fabric between her digits, she took care not to let her talons snag in the cloth and instead squeezed her paws together to crush the fabric. It was out of view of her phone's camera and provided an outlet for the emotions building up inside her. Deep down, she knew that she was punishing herself each day by rising early to see the sunrise, but she deserved it. If it weren’t for her desire to spend time with Riimack and breaking protocol… the circular thoughts of guilt spiraled through her mind until her paws ached from crushing the section of bedsheets together in a tight ball. The grating sound of material tearing caused her to pause and look down. She had been pulling on the sheets while lying on them, and now a six-inch tear had formed, revealing the pale mattress beneath. ‘Fuck's sake,’ she snarled to herself and forced herself to let go of the sheets.

“Viina–”

“I’m fine,” Viina hissed, looking towards her phone. To the woman, it would have looked like she was staring at her, but in reality, she was checking the time at the top of her phone's screen. They still had plenty of their session left, but she was already starting to think of ways she could cut it short. However, the woman seemed to be one step ahead and cleared her throat.

“We can come back to this another time. How about instead, we talk about something lighter? Maybe something that makes you happy?”

Viina's mind was still so unsettled that she almost missed the woman's words. With a small shake of her head, Viina forced herself to focus and processed what the woman had asked of her. She thought back to something that made her happy that wasn’t Riimack, but she was helpless as the darkness of her thoughts suffocated any memories that once brought her joy. Memories, like the time she had first taken to the air, had become poisoned by the knowledge that she would never fly again. She tried to think of anything that made her happy or even something that made her less angry. After a moment, a flutter of panic made her heart quicken. Was there really nothing? And if there wasn't anything, would she ever be happy again? Did she deserve to be happy?

“I– I don’t know…” Viina admitted, and the woman's expression softened.

“It’s okay, Viina. Let’s start small. Think about what you did today, after your run. What did you get up to, and out of those things, what was your favorite part?” The doctor asked. Her question focused the dragoness’ mind on only the events of the day, and the storm of emotions began to calm just enough for her to think. After a minute of silence, the doctor swallowed and placed her pen down. “Maybe something more simple: what did you eat today? I’ve heard the food is good over there.”

This was a more direct question and far easier to answer. Taking a quick breath before giving the woman a small nod, Viina buried her emotions as best she could. “I-umm…” her voice was tight, and she cleared her throat, forcing a swallow past the lump in her throat. “I had some fish balls… Well, a couple of them,” she said, focusing on the memory of Kaariyo. The image of the gremlin-like hatchling trying to escape with the cone of food brought the faintest flicker of a smile to her snout.

“Only a few? Were they bad or something?”

Viina shook her head and took a deep breath. “No, they were good. It's just…” Glancing towards the time again, Viina realized that she could probably use up the rest of their session by talking about the tour group. She felt slightly cowardly for avoiding more meaningful topics, but it was easier and far less painful. “When I was out on my run, I met this tour guide. Keekzee—” Viina paused as the woman picked up her pen and jotted down his name. For a brief moment, Viina felt like she had just spoken her crush's name in front of her parents and braced herself for a barrage of questions. But when none came and the doctor gestured for her to continue, she felt slightly more at ease. “Anyway, after we parted ways, I was having these fried fish ball things for breakfast when this hatchling came up to me. Didn’t speak English, or Italian, and was without her folks. She was hungry, so I shared some food with her. Then I took her to Keekzee, and thankfully her father was part of the drake's tour group. The little rascal managed to give her father the slip and went on her own adventure.”

“That’s so sweet, well done,” The doctor said, perhaps with more enthusiasm than was merited. “How did you feel when you reunited her with her family?”

The words “reunited” and “family” clicked in Viina's mind like keys in a lock, causing her expression to darken and her neck to curl back defensively. It was a trap question. Of course, she was grateful to get Kaariyo back to her family, but Viina was already anticipating the woman’s next question. If she enjoyed reuniting Kaariyo, then maybe she would enjoy reuniting with her folks—or her brother. Her frill rose to full height before she shook her head, keeping her voice devoid of emotion. “It was a mission, straight and simple. I got her back, and that was that.”

The doctor saw straight through her as she looked at Viina over the top rim of her glasses before glancing down as she resumed writing. The speed and duration of the woman’s scribbling grated on Viina’s nerves, as she seemed to be taking more detailed notes than the story warranted. Swallowing nervously, Viina waited until she became too uncomfortable with the silence. “I was just glad she was a part of Keekzee's group. It would’ve been awkward if I lured a hatchling to a random.”

This brought a smirk to the woman’s lips, but she still continued to write. “What was the hatchling's parent’s reaction? Were they angry or relieved?”

“It was just the father, or father figure. He’s a human looking after a hatchling by himself on this tour. I don’t know what the deal is with the mother—she either stayed behind or isn’t in the picture,” Viina explained before realizing she had only corrected the woman’s question and hadn’t answered it. “He was relieved though. He seems like a good egg.”

“Just because the mother wasn’t there, doesn’t mean she isn’t in the picture, Viina. Not all families are broken–”

“Keekzee told me,” Viina said with the faintest hint of smugness in her voice. She enjoyed correcting the woman, although she didn't really understand why. “Although I'm leaning more toward her not being in the picture. The man didn’t know that hatchlings go through a hoarding phase, and I feel like that's something the mother would explain.”

“You seem to have learned a lot from just returning the hatchling.”

“Keekzee invited me to have lunch with them at their hotel,” Viina explained, tilting her head. “There were a lot of different breads and meats,” she added in a vague attempt to steer the conversation toward something more mundane, as a cold chill of guilt crept into her chest. It made her uncomfortable to say she had lunch with another drake, even though it had been a purely honest and thankful gesture.

“You had lunch with a group?” the doctor asked in surprise. When Viina nodded, her lips curled into a genuine smile. “I'm impressed! This is the first time you’ve done that, isn’t it?” she asked, and again, Viina nodded. “Well, well done. That is a big step in the right direction! How was it?”

Viina felt her snout burn slightly in embarrassment and struggled to feel the same level of excitement over something as simple as lunch. After all, feeling uncomfortable and frightened while sitting next to strangers was irrational compared to the giddy excitement she had once felt while flying into battle with her fellow marines. “The food was good…” she started, noticing the woman’s eyebrows briefly lift, as if she understood what she meant, and began writing in her notebook. “It was a bit loud. Many of the group were from other countries, so there was a bit of a language barrier too,” she explained, hiding behind a half-truth. “But when they all left, it was just Keekzee and me. That was good.”

“Oh? How so?”

Unable to hold the woman’s gaze, Viina looked away, shrugging her wing stumps. “I don’t know, he was friendly and spoke English,” she said, then lifted an eyeridge. “Maybe too friendly, I don’t know. He’s Polish, and it could just be their way of doing things, but he seemed too eager to help.”

“I can’t say I know much about the Poles, but he might just be a nice drake. Not everyone has an agenda, after all,” the doctor countered as she wrote in her book. “What made him helpful? What sort of things did he help with?”

“Well, there were a few things. To thank me for finding Kaariyo, he let me in as his guest to this gallery. Then he offered me lunch…” she said, feeling a surge of self-consciousness flow through her. Saying it out loud did little to convey how she had felt at the time, and she began to wonder if she had overreacted. “They’re also heading to Venice tomorrow, and he offered me a ride on their bus. Which is nice and all, and sure, I’m going to go there eventually. But it feels like he wants more than for me to be just a passenger. You know what I mean?”

“No,” the doctor smirked. “No, Viina, I can't say I've had men offer to give me a ride across Italy for free.”

“Well, that's what I mean, right? Who does that? And if he is after something more, then… Well, no.” Viina said, curling her neck back into a tight ‘S’ shape. “I ain't looking for that, and I didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. He seemed sweet, but I don't want to feel like I owe him anything.”

“You said you’re heading there too?” Doctor Prin asked, looking up from making a note, and when Viina nodded, she pursed her lips. “Well… how sure are you about his intentions? You said he was friendly, and if you’re heading that way too, it could just be a friendly gesture,” she added casually. “I’m not always one to recommend jumping into a stranger's bus, but you aren’t exactly a defenseless ‘ness now, are you?”

This made Viina snort in mild amusement, and she shook her head. “I’d be more worried about hurting his feelings than anything else. Sure, he’s bigger than me, but he ain't a fighter. It's just… he seemed so honest and genuine…” she started, before noticing the woman's eyes widen as she wrote more in her book. “You think I should go with him, don’t you?”

The woman didn’t answer straight away, shrugging her shoulders as she underlined something in her book. Finally, when she looked up, she focused on Viina and gave her a reassuring look. “I trust you not to get in trouble, and I'm confident you’d be able to get yourself out of it if you did. But this doesn't sound like some random dude inviting you to the backseat of his Camaro for a night under the stars and a cheeky bottle of rum. He’s a tour guide. You’d be surrounded by people in the group, and if he’s as friendly as you say, it’s probably not the worst thing you could do,” she added, and Viina found herself frowning at the specifics of the woman's analogy.

“A bottle of rum under the stars?” Viina asked with a growing smirk, only to be dismissed by a wave of the doctor's hand.

“It’s a figure of speech,” she started, but Viina didn’t believe her. “What I’m getting at is that you’ve been dealt a rough hand, ain’t no way to sugar-coat it. But that doesn’t mean that when an ace comes your way, you shouldn’t jump on it. You can always ask him what his intentions are. Drakes, like all males often benefit from a more direct approach.” Doctor Prin continued, and when Viina looked away, sipped more of her water, and asked another question. “Have you told him no already?”

Viina nodded, but her mind was circling back on itself as she wondered if she had made the right decision. “Yeah, I let him down gently,” she murmured softly.

“Anyway you can change that? Maybe tell him you changed your mind?” the doctor asked, causing Viina’s head to tilt in consideration. “It could be nice to have things go your way for once, Viina. It’ll mean you aren’t alone, either. You’ll get to talk to others and hear their stories,” she added, and Viina caught herself thinking of what that could be like.

She had always found a certain peace in being alone with her thoughts. However, traveling to the thermal springs and then on to Venice, while being able to avoid the often crowded and slow regional trains she had been using was tempting. Additionally, she would only have to tolerate the tour group for a day before being able to escape them. The more she thought about it, the more she began to think about how she would ask Keekzee if she could come.

Viina's eyes refocused on the screen as the doctor ran her hand through her curly hair, combing it out of her eyes. “Do you think Riimack would object?” the woman asked gently, trying to appear relaxed as if it were something trivial. “If you joined the tour group, I mean,” she added. Viina's silence hung in the air as her eyes narrowed, but the woman didn't relent, flicking back a page as if confirming something. “From the little you've told me, I don’t get the impression that he would mind. But what do you think? If he were here with you–”

“But he isn’t here,” Viina hissed softly. Her voice didn’t waver, yet as she spoke, it felt as if a lead blanket had been draped across her back, holding her down.

“But if he were, would he be against it? Or would he tell you to go for it?” the doctor asked, looking intently at Viina for her answer. Closing her eyes, Viina tried to imagine the conversation but couldn’t picture a scenario where he would say no. Even if they were together, with their wings to carry them, the idea of riding in an open-topped bus across the countryside would have allowed them to snuggle close and watch the scenery go by.

Hearing the scribble of pen against paper, the fantasy faded, and in its wake, a hollowness filled her as reality sank back in. “I don’t know, doc. He’d probably like it,” she admitted, and the woman gave her a curt nod.

“Maybe think about it tonight. It’s a big step to surround yourself with strangers on a bus, but it might do you some good. Although, I do want to warn you, Viina,” the doctor said, her voice becoming firm. “It’s all too common for those who’ve lost loved ones to feel like they are living for the ones they’ve lost. While he may have wanted to do this, I want you to make this decision for you, not him. Okay? I want you to be sure you’re not pushing yourself, thinking it’s what he would have wanted, and hurting yourself in the process. You have to live for yourself, okay?” she added, watching as Viina took a deep breath before nodding in acknowledgment. “Because I’m sure he would want that, wouldn’t he?”

Nodding again, Viina caught a small smile from the doctor and knew that the woman was as right as she always was. The fact that she was living her life for Riimack was at the forefront of her mind, but despite the woman’s warning, she knew she wasn’t going to stop any time soon. It was easier to nod and agree with the woman than to argue with her. However, the thought of Riimack chastising her for exhausting herself on his behalf did make her jaw tighten. Deep down, Viina knew that she was hurting herself as some form of penance for the pain she had caused, and if Riimack could see her, he would likely be upset that she was doing it for him.

With a small intake of breath, the doctor straightened in her chair and looked at Viina with an expression that blended remorse and possibly sympathy. The look caught Viina’s attention, and she held the woman’s gaze, before Dr. Prin started speaking softly. “Viina, we only have a few minutes left in this session,” she said gently, and Viina could tell by her tone that the woman was easing her into a more painful topic. “Would it be okay if we talked about him?” she asked, raising a finger and quickly adding, “It can be brief, we don’t have to go into detail.”

Viina felt her heart beat quicker and shook her head. “It's getting late, doc. I'm not sure if that's a good idea,” the dragoness replied, curling her neck back while staring at the woman. Like a snake ready to strike, she held the defensive pose as the woman's eyes swept up and down, reading her body language.

Undeterred, the woman nodded before reaching to one side and lifting a manila folder into view. “That's okay. I read his file and wanted to ask you if you knew something. But this can wait for another day,” the doctor said. When Viina's eyes darted to the file, the woman lowered it out of frame.

It was a simple manipulation, one that Viina had encountered countless times before from her parents, and she hated that it was still working on her. Her curiosity had been piqued, and her frill lifted to full height at the idea of learning something new about her mate. However, she knew that it would mean playing the doctor's game, and for that, her stomach tightened into knots. “What?” she said simply and flatly—hardly a question and more a tentative permission to continue.

The woman paused, her eyes scanning the dragoness critically, before bringing the pale tan folder back into view and opening it. “The circumstances of his enlistment were quite peculiar. Did he talk about why he enlisted?” she asked. Viina's lip lifted in the start of a snarl. Of course she knew. Riimack had told her quite early on, as he didn't want to hide his past from her. He had killed his father for trying to take out his drunken anger on him one too many times. It had been a spur-of-the-moment decision that didn't define the silver drake for what he truly was: a kind-natured soul who had just been pushed too far. Prison was never the answer for a drake like Riimack, and after some time incarcerated, he had been given the opportunity to enlist and serve the rest of his time in the corps. The idea that the doctor was going to use this to somehow tarnish her memory of the drake clawed its way into Viina's mind, making her paw reach for the phone to end the session early. The woman seemed to notice and quickly added, “There was a police officer who helped with the process—Teeslah. Did he tell you about his relationship with him?”

Viina paused, a digit hovering over the red disconnect button on her phone. Of course Riimack had talked about the drake who had worked to try and get him out of prison through legal means. “That's his brother. What about him? Is something wrong?” Viina asked anxiously. She hadn't paid much thought to Teeslah, but now wondered if there had been any repercussions from Riimack's service being cut short. Riimack had spoken about how much his older brother had stuck his neck out for him and almost ruined his career trying to lessen Riimack’s sentence.

“No, nothing is wrong. Or rather, nothing that I'm aware of. I just saw that there was a glowing recommendation from the young police officer and was wondering what the connection had been. I suspected he was a family member of sorts, yet Teeslah wasn't marked as Riimack's next of kin,” the doctor mused, turning over a few pages to find the information she had read before. “Reevian, was that his mother—”

“Sister,” Viina corrected sharply, shaking her head. Just the mention of the teal ‘ness’ name caused her nostrils to flare and her chest to tighten. Her frill flattened against her neck in shame, and her paw began to tremble so much that she retracted her foreleg and pressed it against the mattress for stability as she averted her gaze from the judgmental woman. Arguably, the doctor was half right. While Reevian was Riimack's older sister, she had taken on the role of mother as best she could when their actual dame abruptly left them to escape their abusive father. Riimack had told her that the ‘ness had been trying to build a new life for them, away from their father, and had promised he could live with her. However, their plans had been postponed when Riimack had stopped his father, and his life had been turned upside down. Courtrooms had replaced classrooms, and cold concrete walls of his cell had surrounded him instead of his sister's wing.

“Ah, Sister. My mistake. Were they close?” Doctor Prin asked, turning to a new page in the notebook dedicated to Viina’s sessions. Viina's throat ached as she tried to formulate a sentence, but instead, she simply nodded slowly. The doctor's lips pulled back into a sympathetic smile, and she leaned closer to the screen in an attempt to reassure Viina. “Have you spoken to her since the crash?” she asked softly. Despite the woman's soft tone, Viina still felt as if she was being attacked. Looking away from the woman, Viina considered ending the call right then and there, but she couldn't trust her paws not to tremble too much if she tried to tap on the button. Her silence seemed to answer the doctor's question, and the woman nodded in understanding before continuing. “It might be something worth doing–”

“No,” Viina whimpered suddenly, blinking back tears. She had only met the teal-colored ‘ness on two occasions: once while she and Riimack had been traveling between training bases, and when they had graduated together from their advanced recon school. In both cases, the ‘ness had brought them food to share and brought extra for Riimack to take with him. It was a simple gesture, and clearly, cooking had been her way of showing that she cared for him. Between the perpetually worried look on her face and the questions she had posed him to consider further training, it had been abundantly clear that the ‘ness worried about her younger brother. At the time, Viina had found herself feeling almost jealous that Riimack had someone so dedicated to his well-being, but had helped Riimack reassure her that they would be safely away from danger.

The idea of going back to her with the knowledge that she had gotten the large drake killed sent a cold chill down her spine, and she quickly blinked back tears to focus on the screen. “I’d… I’d only hurt her more,” Viina forced out after clearing her throat.

“Are you sure? She might like to hear about her brother from another perspective. It could bring her closure… It might also help you find closure–”

“Not happening, doc. He is gone because of me,” Viina snapped, her frill lifting to full height and her eyes narrowing to slits. Instinctively, her lips lifted to reveal her sharp teeth in a snarl as she shook her head and pulled her neck back into an ‘S’ shape. The woman opened her mouth to speak, but Viina continued, her voice rising with each syllable. “She hasn't got a brother because of me… How do you even start that conversation?!”

“We have been through this, Viina. It wasn't your fault–” the doctor tried to interject, raising her hand in an attempt to silence the dragoness and make her hear reason.

To Viina, this was a dismissal she wouldn't accept. Her tail lashed in anger behind her. “Yes, it is! He's gone! And it wouldn't be if it wasn't for me! I kept him there. It should have been just me! NOT HIM!” she shouted, feeling a cold chill settle across her back. She knew it was just adrenaline, flowing down the arteries running parallel to her spine, and she shook herself to rid herself of the sensation.

Despite the dragoness's frustration, the doctor remained calm, not matching her anger. She waited patiently as Viina breathed rapidly. However, when the dragoness didn’t calm down, the doctor marked something in her notebook and shook her head. “I’m sorry I’ve upset you, Viina. That wasn’t my intention–”

“Are we done here?” Viina cut her off, glancing toward the time at the top of her phone’s screen. There was still one minute left in their session, but it wouldn’t be the first time they finished early.

“I have a free slot after you. We can keep talking if you need–”

“I don’t,” Viina snapped, her heart racing. She reached for her phone. Her entire foreleg quivered with rage, missing the phone and scratching a talon against the brick wall behind the headboard. The mark was superficial, but no doubt the hotel would charge her credit card for it after she left.

“Viina, wait!” the doctor barked sharply, her voice rising slightly in a mixture of desperation and frustration as Viina grabbed her phone. The dragoness brought it down to the bed, where she could brace her paw against the mattress. But the sudden shift in tone made the dragoness hesitate to end the call. “Look, I know that the separation from your brother is a pain point for you, and I just thought that his sister might be in the same situation now,” The doctor continued, causing Viina to flinch. “It could be something you can help her with–”

“My parents separated me from my brother. Now, I’ve separated her from Riimack. Are you saying I’m just like my parents?” Viina practically roared at the screen, not seeing the doctor frantically shake her head.

“No, no, no. I meant it as just a chance to heal. I meant no offense–”

“We’re done,” Viina spat with finality, mashing her finger against the disconnect button. The woman’s face disappeared. Looking down at her screen, Viina caught her reflection in the glass. Her nostrils flared with every shallow breath while her lips were frozen in a snarl, baring her fangs. Breathing rapidly, Viina seethed in rage, studying the reflection of the one who had cut short her mate’s life. From the inky black screen, a prompt appeared with a series of smiling faces and a question to rate the call. Each face mocked her emotions with increasingly wide smiles as if everything were perfectly fine. With a flick of her wrist, she sent the phone flying across the room, not caring when it clattered to the floor near the bathroom. If it broke, it broke. She didn’t care.

Pulling the sheets of her bed together, she gripped them in a tight ball and sank her talons through the fabric. She hardly registered the sound of the threads tearing as she clawed deeper into it. It felt good to exert her strength into the inanimate bed coverings, and she clenched her jaws as she curled her digits into the tangled mess. Pulling her paws apart, she felt the material briefly snag on her digits before it slipped off her toes and became caught on her sharp talons. The ripping noise grew louder, but she was beyond caring as she stared at the headboard, where the doctor's face had been. Grinding her jaw back and forth, she felt as much as heard the grating noise of her fangs rubbing against one another. It did little to calm the blinding rage that burned inside her. The cold chill that pressed against her spine extended around her ribs and broken wings. She knew it was just adrenaline and paid it little attention as her eyes flicked to the pillow. Like lightning, her neck went from a coiled ‘S’ shape to almost straight as she struck the soft cushion with an open mouth and snatched it back. Clenching down with all her might, the pillow offered token resistance before her jaws snapped closed through the material and filling. Thrashing her head from side to side, Viina took out her anger on the hapless pillow and closed her eyes as bleached white feathers began to come loose.

The cost of destroying the bedding didn't even enter her mind as she continued to shake her head from side to side. The sensation of the pillow flapping against the sides of her snout became more and more feeble with every shake as the stuffing fell free. Like prey dying in her jaws, she continued until the fabric was limp and finally stopped. Breathing sharply through her nose, Viina smelled the scent of dusty feathers and opened her eyes to see a fluttering of them falling around her.

Spitting out the ruined remains of the pillow, Viina’s paws caught and tore the sheets further as she scrambled backward off the bed. Seeing the aftermath of her actions, her anger darkened into an overwhelming guilt as she comprehended what she had done. Just like with everything she did, she had destroyed something that didn’t deserve it and made it a problem for someone else. The bedsheets were torn to ribbons, and the bed was now littered with countless small feathers. She had chosen violence, and the fact that she had enjoyed it in the moment stung her pride more than the doctor's questions ever had. Memories of her parents fighting and the echoes of plates being smashed taunted her and brought with them the dark thoughts that she was no different.

Gnashing her teeth in frustration, Viina turned in place and strode quickly across the room to snatch up her phone. By some miracle, the screen hadn’t smashed, and for a brief moment, she honestly wasn’t sure how she felt about its survival. If her phone broke, she would have an excuse to skip her next session, but it was also tied to her banking, and without it, buying food would become difficult. Folding the leather holster-like case over the screen, Viina then tucked it under her elastic harness instead of strapping it to her leg. After all, if she wore it properly, her racing heart rate would be broadcast for the doctor to judge, and she didn’t want to give the woman the satisfaction. With another quick glance across the room, she concluded that she would check out in the morning. Even though they would charge her a premium for the damage, the idea of looking the concierge in the eye made her frill flatten against her neck. With a swipe of her paw, she yanked her phone’s charger out of the wall and clutched it against her chest as she walked on three legs into the bathroom and began collecting her effects.

Dragons naturally didn’t travel with much luggage; however, there were some toiletries that were unavoidable. Pulling out the black leather tail bag, Viina practically tore the zipper open as she forced it apart and began tossing in her things. Paw balm, horn whitening cream, and a set of talon files were all swept into the bag, falling against the first aid kit she kept at the bottom. Her toothpaste and the two-foot-long, stiff-bristle toothbrush were last, the latter bulging the pouch at each side. Pinching the zipper’s pull ring between two digits, she yanked it closed before curling around herself and strapping the entire bag to the base of her tail. Sincing the buckles tight, Viina gave it an experimental pull to make sure it didn’t rotate under her tail before returning to all fours.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Viina snarled to herself at the mess she had made and paused at the small table tucked in the corner of the room. It was just a simple desk, and other than the hotel-branded notebook and pens, it included a phone that could be used to call down to the concierge. Reaching into her harness, she extracted the metallic key the hotel had given her and placed it on top of the desk before reaching for the notebook and pen. After scribbling a quick note saying she was checking out and apologizing for the damage she had just caused, Viina strode out onto the balcony and leapt down to the street below.

---

Viina's mind was thousands of miles away when the sun slowly began to crest, casting beams of golden light through the clouds that lined the horizon. She had found no sleep that night; instead, her mind hung in limbo between dull thoughts and nothingness. Lying across the terracotta tiles of a building she had no right to be on, Viina stared eastward with unfocused eyes as she contemplated her actions. Clutched between the digits of her forepaw, Riimack's photo lingered in the corner of her vision, a constant reminder of who should have been there with her. With an absent-minded motion, she slowly scratched at the old tiles beneath her paw with a talon. She didn't apply enough pressure to mark the kiln-fired tile, but the friction against her talon tip helped distract her mind.

Looking toward the rising sun, she knew she would have to leave soon. After all, getting caught trespassing wasn't high on her list of things to do today. She had chosen this specific building for its location, and even though it was three stories high and she was without wings, Viina had managed to scale it with ease. After circling the building, she had first climbed up to a balcony of a smaller building beside her target and then leapt across an alleyway to another. After repeating the path to the next floor up, she had taken a running jump from one roof to the one where she now rested. It was a risky thing to do without wings, but even before she learned how to fly, she had been a gifted climber and had quickly learned how to do so without disturbing the sleeping occupants of the houses she climbed. Often escaping her room at night to find peace on the roof of the house she grew up in, she had spent many nights under the stars, only to be discovered in the morning by her livid parents. Although she would never admit it, it was a skill she was quite proud of, and after her training to become a Marine, getting into places she shouldn't was almost trivial.

To Viina, though, there was something calming about being on a roof with nothing but the empty sky looking down at her, even if it was illegal to land or sit on a roof she didn’t own. From where she lay, she had a commanding view of the courtyard below, and to the west, she could see the villa that Keekzee and his group were likely still sleeping in. Across from the cobblestone square, an old church stood proudly. Each face of its large structure was a network of geometric squares and ridges, each one catching the light and casting sharp shadows across itself. The symmetry and craftsmanship were little more than background thoughts as Viina stared off into the distance.

“How would I even start?" she murmured softly to herself. Her crimson neck frill flattened against her neck as a gentle morning breeze washed over her back. “I’m sorry?... I... I don’t think that’s really going to cut it…” she added, her voice tightening as she swallowed hard. Lifting her head just enough to curl her neck and look at the photograph she held, she studied his kind and gentle face. She tried to imagine what he would say to her—knowing him, probably something reassuring. He’d likely drape a comforting wing over her shoulders and squeeze her against his side, his deep voice telling her that Riivian wouldn’t blame her. Regardless of whether it was true or not, he’d try to make the situation better for her, just as he always did.

The morning breeze caused the corner of the photograph to fold, where it had developed a crease. With a simple curl of her digits, she made the photo rigid again, bending it slightly. Looking into her mate's eyes, Viina's lip quivered before she averted her gaze, feeling a pang of guilt cut through the sorrow in her mind. The doctor’s words about Riivian missing her brother, just like Viina was, had struck a nerve and become etched into the dragoness's mind. Unable to dismiss the image of the kind teal dragoness being alone, missing her brother and not knowing what had happened, gnawing its way through Viina's consciousness. Of course, there were members of the corps who would have broken the news to her, but they hadn't been there, nor would they have given the grieving dragoness more than a vague and rehearsed speech about service to their country. Viina wondered what it would be like to hear those words without knowing what had actually happened, and the confusion and sorrow the dragoness must be feeling. The thought that she was hurting Riivian by withholding the details of her brother's death tormented the pale dragoness, and gave vindication to the idea that she only hurt those around her. Yet, it was something she could fix, if only she weren’t a coward. Her thoughts twisted and contorted as she wrestled with the idea of visiting the dragoness, her eyes remaining fixed on the photo with a calm expression that veiled the battle raging in her mind.

“Okay…” Viina finally murmured as she used the back of her paw to wipe her eyes and inhaled sharply. “I’ll see her…” she said to Riimack and tightened her jaw. Facing the dragoness would be a monumental effort, and telling her how it happened would likely cause more pain, but at least it would be done… for him. “But not yet, not right now,” she added, looking towards the sunrise. “I’ll get there, once I'm done here, once there isn’t anything left to see.” She knew it was a compromise that could turn into an excuse she would likely abuse later. Europe was a large continent, especially for one without wings, and it would take her a long time to explore it all. However, saying the words out loud helped ease her conscience, and as she looked across the town, she knew that she would be building on that excuse if she stayed in this town any longer.

Looking down at the photograph, Viina forced a weak smile at her mate before taking a deep breath. “So… how about Venice next…” she said, as if he was listening to her. “If I can get us a ride,” she added, glancing towards the villa in the west. The dawn sun’s rays had managed to pierce the clouds, casting a warm and almost heavenly glow on the old building. Rising to all fours on the rooftop, she gave the photograph a small smirk and shook her head. “Don’t give me that look, he offered,” she added, tucking the image of her mate between her chest and her harness. “I’m not using him if he volunteered to take us.”

With a final look towards the rising sun, Viina took in the view of the town before taking a few delicate steps toward the edge of the roof. The occupants would be stirring soon, and she knew that it would be better not to revisit the balconies she had used to scale the building, just in case they had noticed and were on edge. Also, with the higher perspective and the morning sun now shining on the town, she could see that some of the homes had no chairs or potted plants on their balconies. Likely owned by dragons and used for landing, they might be less upset if she used them temporarily. Focusing on a balcony across the narrow alleyway that didn’t have handrails, Viina hunkered down and prepared to leap, only pausing when the rumble of a diesel engine began to become audible. Holding her position mid-crouch, Viina turned her head to track the sound and watched as a large double-decker coach slowly made its way through the narrow streets. How it managed to fit through the labyrinth-like town was a testament to the driver’s skills, often missing the ancient walls of the buildings by no more than a few inches. Similar in appearance to the crimson buses she’d used in England, the bus comprised two levels. The entire top deck lacked a roof to allow for dragons to sit comfortably and sported a sloped rear with a grid-like lattice in the floor to offer boarding dragons something to grip onto. Below, the lower deck boasted padded benches for humans and smaller dragons, in addition to large sliding doors to make getting in and out easier. Seeing the logo on the front of the bus, she recognized it as the same one Keekzee had embroidered onto his harness and confirmed her suspicions that it was the one coming to pick up the tour group.

Slowly, the bus began to extract itself from the narrow streets and drove into the open courtyard. Even now that it wasn’t framed by stone buildings, the bus kept moving slowly, seeming to move with a reverence for the occupants sleeping in the buildings around it. However, to Viina, its noise was welcomed, and the dragoness’ smirk grew cocky as it turned to pass just below the rooftop she was perched on.

Opting to ignore the balcony as a way of getting down, Viina turned and moved as quickly and silently as she could toward the side of the building the bus was passing below. Then, once it was directly beneath her, Viina stepped off the terracotta roof. Like a cat slinking down a fence many times its height, she fell from the rooftop. Her forepaws touched down on the second level of the bus first and landed silently, using her legs and body as a living dampener. Without skipping a beat, she turned toward the rear of the bus, and with a small bound, leapt down the ramp. Glancing around the buildings to ensure that she hadn’t been spotted, Viina continued to walk away briefly before circling back on herself and began to walk a respectful distance behind the bus, as if she hadn’t just used it as a ladder.

Perched on the roof she had just rested on, two dragons sat watching in silence as Viina followed the bus toward where it would collect Keekzee and the rest of the group. Both wishing for her to forgive herself and both knowing that it was a long journey ahead for the wingless ‘ness.