FSE

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In the wake of the sudden revelation of just what was going on with Sharra I was seized by a sudden and pressing need to escape. So strong was that desire that within minutes I had it all planned out. When fluffy wasn’t looking I would grab a few things from the cave and start running, seeking to distance myself from the source of my consternation in an effort to clear my head and sort through some rather chaotic thoughts.

One problem with that plan was that I knew exactly how she would react to me pulling a move like that on her. You have to tread carefully when your partner is a pointy toothed, sharp tongued, predatory female lost in the depths of hormone driven mood swings. Even if I could have hidden from her for a little while our Link would eventually have betrayed me and I would have soon found myself cornered by an irate wolf out for blood. Definitely not the best for one's health.

Honestly, the biggest problem with that plan was that I just couldn't do that to her. I'm not an asshole by nature and doing a midnight run after what she had professed to me was simply impossible.

So ... I decided to let the situation cool down for a while before I did anything drastic. That was no easy task, let me tell you. Sharra was anything but calm and collected in those days and some of the feelings that filtered through our mental bond had me thinking of cold showers one minute and fearing for life and limb the next.

Despite her moodiness it was easy to feel that she was genuinely sorry for dumping all of her hopes for the future on me. While it was certainly a relief to know that, she still had this crazy idea that the two of us were going to become mates whether I liked it or not. Try as I might, I just couldn't wrap my brain around that idea. I liked Sharra plenty and honestly she meant more to me than I could put into words and maybe that was part of my problem. I really didn't understand my own feelings well enough at that point to know what to do. I was confused because I knew deep down that she was far more than a simple friend to me but I beyond that I was at a loss. It was obvious to me, or at least I thought it was, that the feelings I had for her were not the romantic, physical, husband and wife type of thing that she desperately wanted. She was a very close friend, an amusing companion and I just couldn't convince myself that our relationship could ever be anything more than that.

My inability to reconcile our different viewpoints on the future of our relationship kept bringing my thoughts back to my original, knee-jerk reaction plan. I had to get away and put some space between us for a day or two.

I hatched a somewhat saner course of action once the shock had worn off and I was able to think in a more coherent manner. I would still leave Sharra but only for a couple of days. I would return to the cabin in the depths of the valley and spend the time there trying figure out just what the hell I was going to do. Fluffy was going to hate me for leaving her during her time of need but it was the only way I could think of to sort out the tangled mess between my ears and in my heart. I knew deep down that only a serious bout of introspective soul searching away from any internal or external distractions could solve my end of the troubling revelations of Sharra's love for me.

The conversation about me leaving for a few days was not one I was looking forward to. I'm a simple man, brutally honest, socially awkward, and often lacking in tact, sometimes not understanding the effects of my words on the feelings of others until its far too late. To further complicate things, Sharra was a very sensitive individual and I honestly had no desire to hurt her. I had to tread carefully as I didn't want to do any permanent damage to our relationship. She was the only friend I had left to me, and a damned good one at that. The Mad Season and her professions of love had changed that dynamic but I no intention of losing it all together.

It was the morning of the day after my eyes were opened to the reality of Sharra's desires that I finally got up the nerve to talk to her. I was nervous as hell and a bit worried about getting my throat torn out when I gave her the news but when I look back now on that trying conversation I think it went better than I'd hoped. I think that after my reaction the day before she knew I was struggling and did her best to understand and cope with what I needed to do despite her own needs and desires.

We had just finished eating our morning meal at the mouth of the cave when I began that dreaded conversation. Sharra had been uncharacteristically silent since her emotional outburst the day before. Her feelings through our special bond were sharp and clear, yet withdrawn. I had the feeling that she knew she had pushed a little too far and put my entire world off balance.

“You're awfully quiet this morning.”

Sharra's amber eyes found mine with a probing gaze.

“As are you.”

It took me a moment to find a reply for that. Sharra turned her attention to cleaning the remnants of her meal from her blunt claws.

“Lots on my mind today for some reason.”

My friend suddenly looked away, her ears sagging as her hands fell into her lap. The feelings on her end of the Link became blurry and indistinct. She was sad and trying to hide it. I didn't need the Link to tell me that. I clenched my jaw and sighed, feeling my own sadness well up. I tried my best to keep my voice even.

“What am I supposed to do with you? I'm a tough guy to rattle but you shook me to the core yesterday.”

Her voice was barely a whisper.

“I am sorry.”

“I know.”

A pair of amber eyes met mine briefly before she looked away. I reached out a hand to her shoulder and let it linger there for a moment.

“I had hoped ...” She began but couldn't finish.

“And there's nothing wrong with that. We all have hopes and dreams. Often they're what keep us going day after day.” I paused for a moment, collecting my thoughts.

“But it can be a shock when we realize that our hopes and reality may not be entirely compatible. I think that goes for both of us in this case.”

Eyes downcast, Sharra nodded sadly, ears back.

“But that's not the end of the world.”

“I do not know about that. It feels like it is to me. I cannot believe that you do not want me. ” she said without looking up.

Stunned, I drew away from her.

“What? Jesus Sharra, quit thinking like that!”

She slowly raised her head to look at me. Her ears were back and the sadness that flowed over her features stabbed at my heart.

“I do not know what to think anymore.” she lamented.

“That makes two of us. Listen, I do want you, just not quite in the way you want me to. You're a damned good friend, actually you're far more than that to me but I'm just not sure how much more at this point.”

Some life seemed to return to Sharra at my words. Her ears perked up and she eyed me curiously, a tidal wave of emotions barely held at bay in the strange background world of our Link.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to figure out how to piece my words together.

“Okay. You say you love me and call me your mate. That is a huge surprise to me and I don’t think you understand how much it really scares me. Among my people such a thing between two different species is unthinkable and is looked upon with disgust.”

Her eyes pleaded with me.

“Why does that matter here? You are the last of your kind and we are bound by the Link. The Gods mean for us to be together and to live out our days as mates. Can you not see that?”

I had to admit that she had a point there. My entire race was a distant memory that lived on only in my thoughts. Why should I still be bound by twenty first century ideals and morals? I leaned back and thought about that for a moment. Sharra held my eyes the whole time, probing my thoughts.

“You are as perceptive as always.”

I smiled and was rewarded with a brief grin in return.

“You're not the problem here.” I said, “ It's all on me and the feelings you have for me are something I‘m going to have to come to terms with at my own pace and in my own way. I hope you can understand that.”

“I will try.”

“That is all I ask. And in that vein there is something I need to do.” Sharra perked her ears and cocked her head, eyeing me curiously.

“In the past when troubled thoughts weighed heavily on my mind I would often escape into the wilderness to be alone. Only then was I be able to wrestle my problems into submission and return a new man.” I watched my friend carefully. I didn't know how closely she was following my train of thought. She looked thoughtful but beyond that I couldn't tell if she understood what I was going to tell her next.

“I need to do that here.”

I spoke slowly, dragging a finger through the dust that littered the floor of the cave. I turned my eyes to the panorama of valley and mountains that lay beyond the mouth of our sanctuary.

“My answers lie out there somewhere and I must go find them.”

There was a moment of stunned silence from my friend.

“You ... are leaving me?”

The hurt and shock behind those words hit me like a hammer between the eyes and I let my sorrow for having to leave and follow this course of action flow into our Link.

“I think its the only way I can sort out the confused mess in my head.”

I drew in a deep breath “And in my heart.” I added softly.

I couldn't look at Sharra, I just kept my eyes fixed on the distant mountains.

After a moment of stunned silence Sharra began sobbing. My shoulders sagged and I gritted my teeth. I scooted around so I sat directly in front of her. She wouldn't look at me. I reached out and gently took her hands, sending the deep caring that I felt for her into our special bond. She briefly tried to pull away but I held her firmly.

“Sharra, please, look at me.”

Slowly her head came up. The tears had spilled down the sides of her muzzle, leaving dark streaks. The feeling of betrayal that I saw in her amber eyes was like a burning knife in my heart.

“I will come back. I promise you that with every fibre of my being.” I said emphatically.

Sharra nodded through the tears.

“But how can you leave me at a time like this? My season is nearly at its peak. I need you now more than ever.”

Her eyes pleaded with me and a brief storm of emotions tore through my mental defenses and nearly overwhelmed my thoughts. Cloying sensations of fur against bare skin and bodies entwined in passion haunted my thoughts for a moment. A tingling began in all the wrong places and I grimaced at my body's involuntary response to Sharra's desires.

I released her hands and looked away, struggling against the feelings in our Link before I passed the point of no return.

“I know.” I whispered hoarsely. “But there are some things I'm not ready for yet.”

“But ...”

“Please! If you truly do love me, understand that this is something I must do!”

A shuddering sigh shook my friend. She was motionless for a moment before she nodded in resignation as she wiped away her tears. Her words were suddenly as sharp as the hurt she felt.

“I see that I cannot change your mind. Go then, run away from your mate in search of your damned answers.”

I had been expecting her to be angry but that didn't make it any easier to take. Sadness washed over me and I sighed deeply.

“I will go to the cabin for a night or two. After that I promise you I'll be back.”

A hateful glare was my only response. I reached for her hand but she jerked it away.

I sighed, sorrow clouding my thoughts.

“I wish there was another way.”

“Whatever.” she snorted, ears pinned back and anger burning in her eyes.

“I care for you a great deal, I hope you understand that but this is something I need to do.”

Angry silence was her reply. I clenched my jaw and looked away.

“I'm going to start packing. I'd like to get to the cabin before it gets dark.”

Sharra wouldn't even look at me. The anger that burned within her threatened to scorch my thoughts with its intensity. I stood slowly and walked away from her, sending the feelings and closeness for her that I held dear to me into our Link, hoping that after some time she would be able to understand why I had to go.

And there you have it. It went better than I expected but it was still excruciating. At this point I had grown to care deeply for my furry friend and it hurt having to leave her right when her time of need was greatest but as I saw things back then, I had no other choice.

#

It didn't take me long to get the things together that I needed for my trip. I packed enough pemmican to last three days and filled a large skin with boiled water. I touched up the blade of my knife and hatchet with a stone, put together a ready to light fire bundle and packed an extra bowstring and my best dozen arrows. There were skins stored at the cabin so I risked not bringing any bedding with me. The weather was warm and clear and the trip should only take four or maybe five hours so barring any disasters I should make the trip with plenty of daylight left.

Sharra had disappeared when I started packing and once I was ready to go I tracked her down. I found her staring dismally into the roiling waters of the nearby creek, tail hanging limply behind her. A backwards flick of her ears betrayed the fact she heard me approaching but she wouldn't turn to greet me.

I stood awkwardly a couple paces behind her wondering just what I should say, what I could say. Our Link was fairly quiet. I sensed she was blocking me but what I felt leak through the cracks told me that my furry friend was not happy. Her anger seemed to have subsided but with the peak of her season nearly upon her combined with the choice I had made it likely wouldn't stay away for long.

“It's time for me to go.”

For a moment she showed no sign that she'd heard me. At length her shoulders and ears sagged and she turned to face me. She'd been crying again and it hurt my heart to a surprising depth to see that. She didn't look up as I stepped forward.

“Aw shit. I'm sorry Sharra.”

I put a finger under her muzzle and raised it up so I could look her in the eyes.

“I really wish there was another way for me to get my self together.”

A shuddering sigh shook her and it took her a moment to find her voice. Her ears perked up for a brief moment before twitching back again

“I still do not understand why you must leave but I do sense that you truly believe it is the only way that you will sort your feelings out.”

“Old habits die hard.” I grinned sadly. “I will miss you. I hope you know that.”

“Yes.”

She sobbed and lurched forward to wrap her arms around me. I held her tight until she pulled herself together.

“I love you and I will truly miss you.” she murmured, trying her best to hold back the tears, “I hope you find what you are looking for and I will be counting the minutes until you return.”

It was tougher than I ever thought it would be to give up that warm embrace. When I turned my feet towards the trail that led to the old cabin down in the depths of the valley it was with a profound sense of sorrow for who and what I had to leave behind. I sure hoped I was making the right decision.

My thoughts were cluttered the whole way back to our old home. Sharra's touch lingered in the back of my mind, a curious but welcome distraction for the most part. I sensed that she was keeping her distance as much as she could and I was grateful for her self control. Being truly alone is impossible when you are bound to another by the Link but there are times when you can be close to it.

My feet followed a familiar trail of their own accord. My concentration was bent so far inwards that the forest surrounding me and its palette of late summer colours barely reached my mind. Encased within a self imposed bubble of silence one question kept repeating over and over in my mind.

Was I doing the right thing?

Try as I might I couldn't come up with an answer for that.

#

It seemed like it was no time at all before I found myself on a slightly overgrown trail following a small creek that curled like a glittering ribbon through the pines. Familiarity tickled my memory as my eyes followed the path ahead of me.

I had been down this trail many times in my early days on this world, often using it to escape from the cabin and the strange situation I had found myself in there. Odd, I thought, that I should be returning to a place that was once such a source of anxiety and distress in order to escape from similar feelings.

The ground rose slowly as I followed the ancient trail and soon I was standing at the edge of familiar clearing. The old shack was still there, an object starkly out of place amidst the late summer beauty of a forest meadow.

The cabin was just as we had left it. As I shouldered my way through the door I smelled smoke and old leather, dust, and a lingering hint of the scent of the lupine companion I had left behind. A momentary sting of sadness brushed my thoughts and I sat down heavily on one of the old chairs.

The empty silence of the old shack was oppressive in that moment. I told myself this is what I had wanted, the very thing that I had come to this place to take advantage of, yet there was an emptiness to my surroundings that I couldn't shake. In a physical sense I was truly alone here. I could well have been the last person on the planet but my silent, tenuous connection to Sharra reminded me that was not the case. There was an odd, and surprising, sense of gratitude that lingered in my thoughts when I understood that because of that special connection, because of her, that I would never be alone again.

A long time I spent pondering that thought, watching dust dance in that shafts of light that shone through the grimy windows. Shadows crawled across the log walls, creeping across the dusty, battered tabletop before me. Evening had began to swallow up the afternoon when I broke from my reverie with a start. There were things that I needed to do.

The first order of business was to get a fire going. It was somewhere around the end of august and the day had been comfortably warm but the clear sky outside told me that the night would likely be cool. I probably could have gotten away without lighting the old stove as I didn't really need it for heat but after the long and arduous hike my stomach cried out for some warm food.

Carefully, I extracted my fire making tools and prepared fire bundle from my pack and laid them out on the table. Simple things but so vital to my survival in this new world. A chunk of rock that sparked when it struck the blade of my old hatchet were my flint and steel. The fire bundle was carefully assembled from a small and thin piece of black charcoal, the finest and driest grass I could find and the 'old man's beard' moss that hung from the lower branches of nearly every spruce tree in these parts. Several long strips of birch bark were kept close at hand for when the spark finally caught in the tinder. A wry grin quirked on my lips as I looked at what it took to start a fire in this world. Months of trial and error had given me a sure method for success but what I wouldn't have given for your basic, dollar or less cigarette lighter!

Sharra and I had left plenty of firewood and kindling in the cabin for our eventual return. From this supply I selected what I needed and bent to my task. Within five minutes there was a fire burning in the old stove.

The flames pushed away some of the solitude from the cabin as they jumped and danced like living things within the confines of the old iron stove. As I sat back and pondered the achievement it had taken for my species to control fire, I felt deep in my bones the warm regard that thousands of generations of my ancestors held for the life giving protection it provided. It gave us warmth in times of cold that would normally have frozen our hairless bodies, light in the darkness that our eyes were poorly suited for, the heat to cook food and kill potentially dangerous parasites that lurked within. Fire put fear into the predators that stalked us and gave humanity the means to move from stone tools to forging bronze and iron. No other discovery I could think of had given my species such a huge advantage in survival and in evolving to become more than just animals. Yet despite all of those advantages they were all long gone, all except me. It was the animals that had survived and one species had somehow evolved to become something more than just simple animals. Somehow one particular member of that odd, inhuman species had grown to mean more to me than I ever thought possible.

I stood and paced back and forth in front of the stove as unfamiliar thoughts rushed through my head. I used to enjoy being alone but now solitude weighed strangely on my mind. It felt odd to me now, almost wrong. Too many things rushed to the forefront when I actually took the time to think. I missed having someone to talk to, someone to share ideas with. I missed that special someone who always made me feel like I wasn't the last person left on this world.

I missed Sharra.

In a moment of frustration I tore open the door to the cabin and stomped out into the open air. The evening had grown late and the tips of the ramparts to the west scraped the belly of the setting sun. I hesitated on the porch, shoulders hunched and hands thrust deep into my pockets. What the hell was I going to do? A deep sigh escaped me and I sagged, easing myself down on the edge of the porch. The warm light of sunset played over the clearing and a forgotten memory sprang into my mind of an evening late this past spring that had been much like this one. It was not long after my miraculous recovery from the injuries I sustained saving Sharra from the grizzly.

She had been sitting beside me on this old porch, her furry shoulder warm against mine. The orange-red light of the setting sun highlighted her amber eyes and had transformed the long guard hairs on her pelt into a beautiful tapestry of liquid gold with subtle tones of grey. I could hear the sound of her tail sweeping gently across the porch behind me. Not a word had passed between us but I remembered the soft smile on her muzzle and the thoughts through our special bond that spoke of her happiness that she could share a moment like this with me. As I looked back now I suddenly understood that there was more to her thoughts in that moment than the simple enjoyment of a springtime sunset. I had denied it to myself for months but Sharra's thoughts had been focused on the feelings she had for me, the deep caring and love she'd grown to feel for the strange furless monkey she'd rescued from certain death in the snow months before. The more I thought about it, the more obvious it became to me that even then, at the very beginning of such things, she had felt there was nothing wrong nor taboo in her feelings for me and the path they would lead her down. I, on the other hand, had responded to those honest feelings and desires with distaste and used the twin crutches of denial and fear to push my own feelings deep into a place where I had hoped to forget about them simply because Sharra. Wasn't. Human.

The sun fell behind the distant peaks and I turned my head up to a sky slowly fading from twilight blue into the black of night. A few stars poked through that velvet curtain as the waning gibbous moon rose over the trees behind the cabin. The moonlight cast odd shadows over the clearing and illuminated the peaks to the west with an unearthly light.

Long I wrestled with my feelings, the bitterness there becoming a dark stain on my thoughts. As much as I tried to pretend that I didn't care about Sharra's hopes for our future together the problem was that I really did, and far more than I let on, even to myself. I truly enjoyed being with her and our Link, at the odd times when it didn't scare the absolute shit out of me, was something I had grown to treasure. I rubbed my forehead as the wheels of thought turned deep within. Sharra had a wonderfully gentle an amusing personality. She was quick to laugh, loved to play, and cared deeply for those she considered friends. She had an endearing but often disquieting taste for practical jokes and was possessed of an almost childlike curiosity about the world and how it worked. She was beautiful in an animalistic sense but unfortunately for my refined human sensibilities she was barely over five feet tall, covered in fur and had pointy ears, sharp teeth, a long nose and a tail. A ragged sigh shook me and I held my head in my hands. I knew beyond a doubt that if Sharra's personality were encased in the body of a human woman I'd be thrilled to have someone like her interested in a broken down nobody like me. Why then couldn't I get past what she was and focus more on thing things I loved about who she was?

I sat there and pondered that question for a long time with nothing but the moon and stars for company. And poor substitutes they were for the one I had left behind at the cave! A wry smile momentarily twisted my lips. How I had changed in the last six months! Here I sat, the old 'Lone Wolf', one who had learned so early in his life that he couldn't rely on anyone but himself, one who thrived on solitude and took pride in being self sufficient. I had once known beyond the shadow of a doubt that I would end my days as a solitary bachelor and was happy with that yet here I was struggling with my feelings for another and lamenting being alone! The sensation was so alien that I was honestly at a loss as to what to do about it.

I spent many long hours out on the porch that night, struggling against the turmoil within. At times I returned to the interior of the cabin to add wood to the stove and to pace around the interior of that old shack like a caged animal as strange thoughts and feelings threatened to overwhelm me. Always I would return to to my spot on the porch to stare in wonder at the moon and stars, pondering the odd connection I had to my furry friend and the strange depth to the feelings I had for her.

It was only when the waning gibbous moon sank towards the mountains in the southwest that I realized I had been trapped within a loop of my own thoughts for most of the night. Fatigue suddenly seized me as the cold predawn air nipped at my face and fingers. With unsteady feet I stumbled into the cabin to collapse on the pile of hides I had placed in my old sleeping spot in front of the stove.

I don’t remember falling asleep but I will certainly never forget the curious dreams that came to me that night.

#

The sudden realization that I was dreaming was like a splash of icy water to the face.

There was so little surrounding me at the inception of that awareness that I felt as if I were lost in a room so large that the walls and ceiling were so far away as to be lost from sight. Solid ground could be felt beneath my feet and a diffuse light illuminated a featureless matte black floor for a few steps in every direction but beyond that circle of soft light there was nothing but darkness.

Not a whisper of sound reached my ears. Vision and smell were as useless as my hearing. Understanding that my senses would be ineffective in this place I consolidated my thoughts and reached out with the strength of my mind.

As the expanding sphere of my consciousness swelled out into the nothingness it slowly dawned on me that I was not alone in this place. A familiar touch subtly tickled the edges of my perception. My mind followed that sensation and found a rippling, shimmering cord of cerulean blue that stretched out from the shell of my awareness and out into the infinity of the void.

Out of that empty blackness something reached back.

An iridescent rope of vivid yellow-orange twisted and curled around the shimmering blue fibres, crawling slowly towards the edge of my world. At the first gentle touch of the yellow-orange against the shell of my awareness my spirits lifted. My friend was here with me! She was awake, but subdued and thoughtfully introspective. Even sleeping as I was our special connection remained alive.

Images took shape within my world, a curious blend of dreams, hopes and memories borne from the mind of the one who had reached out to me in my sleep.

A forest of aspen and poplar trees held fast within the bounty of summer descended out of the nothingness surrounding me and a startling sense of familiarity swept in with it. I knew this place, yet something wasn't quite right. The colours were washed out and faded to my eyes and distant details were soft, almost like the out of focus background of a picture. The gentle breeze through the leafy branches above reached my ears with an unearthly clarity. When I finally became aware of the magnitude of the earthy scents of the trees and soil flooding into my nose I understood why this place felt different than it should have. These images, this world, they had come from Sharra's memories.

A sudden rush of footsteps from the trail behind me caught my attention and what greeted my eyes when I turned was astonishing to say the least.

A diminutive figure stood a short distance away. Around half of Sharra's height he had soft grey fur with hints of sable showing beneath long black tipped guard hairs. A patch of darker, nearly black, fur made a sort of cap on the top of his head that contrasted sharply with the creamy white of his muzzle, cheeks and chest. The midget in question also had over sized ears, yellow eyes and a short muzzle. One of those massive ears was fully erect and the other one flopped over at the halfway mark. Big paws and a lean and lanky body rounded things out. I regarded this apparition with a raised eyebrow. Honestly, I wasn't sure what to make of him.

“Dad,” he suddenly whined, “Katie won't stop pulling my tail!”

A long moment of bewildered surprise followed this extraordinary statement.

“What did you just call me?” I finally blurted out.

The little guy tilted his head to the side. With his one ear standing at attention and the other flopped over the effect when combined with his suddenly wide eyed stare was priceless. There was a pause before he looked back over his shoulder.

“Mo-om!” He cried, “Dad's being weird again.”

“He is a human, what did you expect?” Sharra's voice this time.

As she came in to view from behind the trees that hid a curve in the trail she had an amused grin on her muzzle and was leading the accused sister by the paw. The little female could easily have been a smaller, flop eared twin of Sharra. Mischief shone in her smoky blue eyes and her little tail wagged like mad.

“What … the hell?” I croaked as I stared at Sharra, completely befuddled by the situation that was playing out before my eyes.

Laughing brightly, she picked up the little female and cradled her in the crook of her arm. She smirked as she approached.

“A gift for you!”

“Daddy!” The little one cried, reaching out her arms to me.

“Uh ...”

I struggled with a tongue that seemed to have tied itself into a knot. Sharra's grin spoke volumes as she held the little female out to me.

Gingerly I reached out and took the pup in my arms. With a giggle she latched herself around my neck and proceeded to nibble on my earlobe. Her fur was downy soft and warm against my skin and her little tail a wagging blur.

I jerked my head away from needle sharp puppy teeth.

“Hey crazy kid, ears are for listening with, not eating!”

Laughing, I levelled a finger at her tiny nose and gave her my best mock frown. The pup looked worried for a moment but as my frown slowly grew into a smile she grinned in return and voiced a playful growl. The growl abruptly ended and a fit of giggling took over as I tickled her ribs. After a moment of playful wrestling she began to worm her way out of my arms.

“Go get him.” I whispered in her ear and let her go.

She hit the ground running, a grin that spoke of mischief plastered on her little muzzle.

Her brother's ears went back and his eyes opened wide as she took after him like a grey missile.

“Da-ad!” he yipped just as his sister tackled him.

An insane cacophony of growls, snarls, yips and giggles ensued as the siblings entered into a spirited wrestling match right there in the middle of the trail.

I stared in wonder at the whirling dervish of furry limbs and wagging tails. If they kept on like that for a few more minutes they'd dig a hole straight through to China.

Sharra was standing beside me, ears perked, tail wagging and a silly grin plastered on her muzzle. I put my hands on my hips and turned my head to stare suspiciously at her. Her tail wagged faster and her grin got bigger but she kept her eyes on the insanity playing out in front of us.

“Do I even want to know?” I ventured after a moment.

A guffaw and a bright eyed, tail wagging smile was my reply.

“They are awfully cute, are they not?”

I turned my eyes back to the mayhem. Katie managed to disentangle herself from her brother and took off down the trail with her older sibling in hot pursuit.

“They are that.” I grudgingly admitted.

“You would be a good father.”

I looked at Sharra sharply.

“I'm not so sure about that.”

“It is as clear to me as the scent of smoke on a winter wind.”

She smiled softly, and a bright spark danced in her amber eyes.

“When you played with the little female your thoughts were happy and gentle and I see the smile that grows on your face and in your eyes as you watch them at their games.”

I couldn't argue with that. It certainly had been fun to play with the pup.

“But why?” I asked, “Why any of this?”

Sharra's smile faded and her ears went back slightly.

“Consider it a second, gentler attempt to show you a piece of a future we could experience together.”

I opened my mouth to reply but she silenced me with a wave of her hand.

“I owe you an apology. I did not truly understand why my hopes and dreams terrified you so much until after you left me. Now, after a lonely night of difficult thoughts I am beginning to see how I came on too strong for one who has lived such a solitary life as you have.”

She shook her head sadly and looked away.

“It was not right of me to force my dreams and desires upon you when you are not ready for them and I hope you can forgive me for doing so. I've been lonely for so long that once the Mad Season began I lost my head and could not consider your view of what our relationship was and where it was going.”

Sharra’s apology caught me by surprise and I was silent for a moment. I put a hand out to her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I get where you're coming from. Really, I do, and I'm not angry about it anymore. I just don't like surprise expectations, and this one was one hell of a surprise.”

“I understand that now.” She nodded. “That is why I chose to join minds with you as you were sleeping and build this world for us. Your mind and body are more relaxed now than they have been for days.”

I chuckled at that statement.

“You may be right on that point.”

“Despite the Season clouding my thoughts I have forced myself to think as rationally as I can. I have delved deeply into what I know of you and your past and came up with a situation I think you could find promising.”

She smiled and gestured to the two crazy kids running up the trail ahead of us.

“You and I as mates and raising a pair of orphaned pups is something I know you would do well at and grow to enjoy.”

I thought about that for a moment, wondering if it was something I actually could enjoy. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I gathered my thoughts. The odd truth of the matter was that the solitary life of a bachelor no longer held the appeal for me that it once had.

“Do you know that at one time I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that I would be a solitary man for the duration of my years?”

Sharra looked me oddly.

“I was happy with that too, you know. Between all my bad luck in finding a girl and my trust issues I figured that was the way things were meant to be.”

I watched the pups as they took a short breather from their games and I shook my head slowly.

“I'm not so sure about that anymore. I'm hardly the same man I was before I met you and this isn't the same world I used to live in. Too many things have changed in last six months and a once solitary man finds himself wishing for some companionship.”

My eyes found Sharra's and I smiled softly at her.

“I have you to thank for that. I've had a very weird evening where I can't reconcile what I feel for you with the way I used to think, and I'll be damned if I'm not lonely.”

Sharra’s ears perked up and she wagged her tail, eyes twinkling.

“You will never be alone again.” She said softly.

She leaned forward to loop her arms around my chest and hug me tight.

“I hope you can understand that. I will always be here for you.”

“I'm beginning to see that.”

A wry grin crossed my lips at that thought.

“I've never liked change, but nothing for me is the same as it used to be. It guess it only makes sense that I must change as well.”

My lupine companion released me and moved back a step. A sweet echo of her touch and her scent lingered in my thoughts. How I had missed those things!

The world around us slowly shifted, the aspen forest fading into the familiar landscape of pines, spruce, and moss covered boulders that spread out in front of our cave sanctuary. Bright sunshine warmed my shoulders and brought out the subtle highlights in Sharra's pelt.

“I will be here waiting for you when you are ready to return, my mate.”

She smiled softly and the sunlight danced in her eyes.

“For now, I will leave you to your rest and your deep thoughts.” The landscape surrounding us slowly began to fade away. Sharra's form lingered for a moment longer before it too began to slip away.

“I miss you.” I whispered.

A warm, affectionate, glow spread over Sharra's face and seeped into my thoughts through our special bond. Her ears relaxed and the wagging pace of her tail picked up.

“I know.” she smiled as the last of her faded from the dream world we shared.

#

I woke to the afternoon warmth of a shaft of sunlight crawling in through the window. I lay still for a moment, blinking away the sleep as I tried to get my bearings. The haunting touch of the dream still lingered in my mind, pushing my thoughts in directions I never would have guessed they would ever go.

As my eyes focused on the cobweb strewn rafters above, things slid and shifted in odd ways within my head. I felt ... Strangely disconnected from reality and trapped within a contracting shell of my own introspection. Sharra's presence in our Link was a faraway thing, a faint yet warm light beckoning from the peak of a distant mountain. I suddenly questioned why I had chosen to leave relative comfort behind me and come to this empty cabin to endure the loneliness I had been sure I would find here. The reasons I had used for that escape grew more and more dubious the longer I stayed away from my Linkmate.

I tossed and turned for a time, trying to get a handle on the tangled mess between my ears. I briefly debated packing my things and heading back to the cave and the one that waited there patiently for me but I sensed that the time for that had not come yet. I eventually decided that I would spend the remainder of the day in this place and see what the next morning would bring with it.

Lying in bed for the remainder of the afternoon was a poor option at best so I reluctantly hauled myself to my feet. After a quick trip outside to relieve the pressure on my bladder it was time to get my day started. The problem with that plan was that I had no idea what I was going to do. I had plenty of food and water but there was little else to occupy mind or hands.

Breakfast was cold pemmican washed down with a couple of mouthfuls of leathery tasting water. The mid afternoon sun was hidden behind scattered clouds when I finally made my way outside. A light breeze stirred the grass and willows surrounding the cabin. Shadows of clouds drifted slowly over the valley and mottled the mountains in the distance. The silence that surrounded me seemed somehow unnatural. Gently I reached out with my my mind to see what Sharra was doing.

Not surprisingly, she was asleep. I withdrew gently in an effort not to disturb her when I sensed that she was a bit unsettled after a long night of strange thoughts. I had to smile at that. She wasn't the only one with that problem!

Never one to be idle for long periods, I stepped into the clearing to wander through tall grasses and alders showing the first few hints of the change to autumn colours. Idle curiosity angled my feet towards the old shed.

It was much the same as we had left it when we departed for the cave several weeks ago. I swung open the door and poked my head into the gloomy interior. A length of rope still hung from the aged rafters, and an odd assortment of scrap lumber mixed with unidentifiable junk weighed down dusty shelves and lurked in dim corners. The two crates that had served as our workbench and butchering table held a smattering of loose deer hairs and pine needles that had drifted in through cracks in the walls and around the door.

I stepped into the murky interior and waited a moment for my eyes to adjust. Despite having spent nearly three months living at the cabin during the spring I'd had enough other things on my mind back in those days that I'd never taken the time to fully investigate the contents of this decaying shack. Most of my visits to this place had been brief and had involved either hanging up meat from the rope dangling from the rafters or retrieving some of said meat for meals. My few brief inspections of the contents had turned up a rusty but usable blade from an ancient hatchet but little else. As soon as the snow had melted and the weather grew warm Sharra and I had left for the cave and I never had the chance to do a deeper search of the old shed.

Ancient boards creaked beneath my feet. A squirrel had been nesting on one of the top shelves and pine cones and seeds were strewn about. A certain mustiness in the air suggested of hidden mice within walls and beneath rotting floorboards.

I began rummaging through the shelves, stifling a sneeze as decades old dust clouded around my head. I didn't find much there other than scraps of rough lumber that appeared to have been cut on a mill with a circular saw blade which was interesting to say the least. That sort of technology no longer existed on this world and its appearance here was something of a mystery. Another interesting find was a corroded tin container, square in shape, that held a tangled mass of rust that might have been nails at one point. I returned it to the shelf and moved on. The corners of the shack held more rough lumber in varying sizes and states of decomposition.

A brief moment of wrestling sufficed to pry open the crates Sharra and I had used as our butchering table. One crate turned out to be empty except for some unidentifiable scraps of fabric and one well decomposed leather glove. My curiosity piqued, I pulled the remnants of the glove from the crate and placed my hand over it. In all respects it was a close match to my own hand. My brow furrowed as I thought that one over. The glove would not have fit a member of Sharra's species. It was far too large and the fingers were too long. It was, however, a damn near perfect match for the hand of an average human male. I frowned and dropped the tattered glove back into the crate and did my best to forget about it. All the glove did was bring more questions to mind that I wasn't sure if I wanted answers to.

The contents of the second crate were far more interesting. From the mouldering mess at the bottom of the box I pulled the rusty and pitted blade of a hatchet, the head of what might have been a claw hammer in better times, and a half dozen long and thin pieces of corroded metal. These I laid out on the top of the first crate and judged them with a critical eye.

In some ways this find was a veritable gold mine. Metal was unheard of in this world and its value, to me at least, was beyond priceless. The possibilities of tools and projectile points that I could create with this windfall got the wheels turning quickly within my mind. I placed the lid back on the crate, collected my treasure and stepped outside into sunshine so bright it stung my eyes.

Once back inside the cabin I arranged my loot on the table. Welcome for the distraction from my romantic troubles I tapped a finger on the grainy pine, lost deep in thought. On a sudden whim, I retreated to the outdoors once more. I wandered over to the nearby creek, plucked a suitably flat and coarse piece of sandstone from the bank and returned once more to the cabin. With a minute or two of aggressive sanding I was able to knock the rust off of a small area of the hatchet blade and the hammer head. The metal underneath was shiny and bright. The long and thin strips of metal were less promising. I figured that at one time they may have been screwdrivers or chisels but by the time I sanded away most of the rust there wasn't much usable metal left. I set them aside for possible needles, awls, small scraper blades or perhaps even an arrowhead or two out of the larger fragments.

The hatchet blade and the hammer head were a different matter and I honestly wasn't sure what I should do with them. I could likely make another usable hatchet but the metal would be pretty thin where the handle passed through the blade once I knocked most of the rust off of it. The hammer head was just a misshapen lump of iron and there was little I could do with it as is. I crossed my arms and leaned back, deep in thought. What I really needed was a way to rework the metal I had on hand. Heat was the only thing I knew that could accomplish that. I stood up and paced back in forth in front of the table as ideas suddenly formed within my mind. A simple bellows wouldn't be difficult to make with a suitable piece of leather and some effort put into woodworking. It would be easy to get a fire hot enough to heat the iron a dull red, and if I was really lucky I might even be able to produce enough heat to turn it orange. The flat back of my current hatchet would work well enough as a hammer but I needed something that would serve as an anvil. Finding a large enough piece of metal around here was a pipe dream but I wondered if a large, flat piece of granite would work. I frowned in thought. If I could get things to work the way I envisioned them I could forge the hatchet head into a wicked spear point or knife blade. Same could be said for what was left of the old claw hammer.

Suddenly purposeful strides took me out of the cabin and back along the banks of the nearby creek. Scattered thunderheads swelled over the mountains yet the late afternoon sun remained warm on my shoulders when it peeked through drifting clouds. I wandered up and down the creek, eyes searching the stones scattered along the bank for something that might work as an anvil. I came up short in my search but at least I was able to enjoy a nice hike on a warm, late summer evening.

By the time I returned to the cabin the sun had fallen to linger behind the storm clouds that lurked over the mountains. The temperature dropped quickly and the wind suddenly had teeth to it. I breathed life back into the fire in the stove and warmed some pemmican. Lightning flickered silently over the ramparts in the distance and the wind outside stilled as the evening wore on. Silence crept into the cabin on stealthy feet to weigh heavily on my mind once more. I wandered out onto the porch, pemmican in hand, to watch the light show to the west. The strength of the storm was slowly fading as the sun slid towards the horizon and a strip of blue sky showed between the mountains at the foot of the thunderhead. For a moment I idly watched a haze of rain drift over the valley. The distant rumble of thunder muttered over the forest and I stifled a yawn as I leaned against one of the support posts for the porch roof. The solitude of this old cabin was taking a toll on me but it had served its purpose and allowed me to get something of a grip on the turmoil in my head and heart. Tomorrow morning it would be time to begin the journey back to the cave and the one who waited patiently for me there, even though I still wasn’t entirely sure what I would do with her once I got there.

A slow smile played on my lips as I thought of my furry friend. It would be nice to see her again and feel her close. When I reached out with my mind, I could sense that she was awake and in good spirits. Her thoughts brightened when she felt me check in but short of one brief and loving touch she kept a respectful distance. Considering her current position in the depths of the Mad Season her thoughts and her mood seemed well balanced and I breathed a sigh of relief at that.

Another yawn welled up and I stifled it with the back of my hand, blinking my sudden tiredness away. I swallowed the last of the pemmican and found my way back into the cabin. A solitary flicker of lightning illuminated my steps. I sat down in the chair with a thump and stifled another yawn, drumming my fingers on the table. The fatigue from the previous late night began catching up with me and I found myself nodding off, and then things took a turn for the weird.

When my head suddenly snapped up an eerily familiar sensation had closed in around me. The atmosphere in the cabin had become thick and utterly silent. The fire glowed behind the partially open door of the stove but the flames were frozen in suspended animation. The cabin was well lit and shadowless but there was no source for the light that I could see. It almost seemed like the walls and floor themselves glowed from within. I stood up slowly from the chair, my legs not feeling entirely right as I gathered them beneath me. Feeling oddly detached from my surroundings, I swam through the thick, still air and paused before the open door of the cabin. The sun was frozen against the mountains in a thin strip of clear sky below the storm and a bolt of lightning appeared to be stuck between cloud and an unfortunate tree somewhere down in the valley. I frowned, thinking that this wasn’t quite right as an odd familiarity to what I was experiencing seeped into my thoughts. The last time this had happened …

A creeping, tickling sense of dread flowed over me. I backed slowly into the cabin, trying to sort myself out. My surroundings felt wrong, almost artificial, and I turned away from the door, wondering just what the hell I was in for this time. The table in the middle of the cabin caught my eye as it suddenly began to glow with an unearthly and seriously unnerving light. After a tense moment of inaction, I approached it cautiously and when my eyes found the chunks of rusty iron on the table what I saw there hurt my brain. Dancing blue-green auras surrounded the fragments and each piece seemed to be stuck somewhere between it’s original form and a long list of possibilities at what I might be able to make from it. I blinked rapidly as my eyes began to water. Depending on how I looked at them, the iron fragments shifted and morphed into arrowheads, spear points, knife blades, scrapers, nails, awls, needles, or became just simple lumps of rusty metal. In a daze I reached out for the old claw hammer head and the damnedest thing happened when my fingers curled around it. My breath caught in my throat as the bones in my arm rang and thrummed like a taut cable at the first touch of rusty metal against skin. The lump of iron in my hand blurred, the strange blue green-aura surrounding it condensing and streaming into the metal. The rusty fragment crawled oddly in my palm and decades of corrosion fell away as the hammer head slowly regained its original shape. I could sense that a strange flow of energy was being drawn out of my surroundings by the transformation taking place before my eyes. It coursed through my limbs to concentrate in the old iron as the hammer head became shiny, bright and new. The sensation of Power flowing through me abated for a brief moment before it surged once more as a wooden handle took shape and the hammer became whole.

The hammer lay quiescent in my hand and the touch of Power receded into the background. My brow furrowed and I shifted my grip to take hold of the handle. The wood was cool to the touch and as my fingers curled around it, an intense, rippling shock wave suddenly blasted out from the point of contact. I stumbled, reeling, as my surroundings were blown away and something completely unexpected formed in place.

For the first time in six months I found myself back at work. A summer day of bright sunshine and scattered clouds swelled over my head and the scent of fresh cut pine lumber lingered in my nostrils as the sun beat down on my shoulders. The hammer still clenched in my hand, I looked around in wonder. Every detail was perfect, and this place hung in my memory like the face of an old friend.

I stood on a bare plywood floor in a place that would eventually become the kitchen of this partially constructed house. A few exterior walls were standing and braced but little else had been completed. The usual paraphernalia of a framing crew surrounded me on all sides. An air compressor was tucked away outside and extension cords and air hoses wound like snakes through stacks of lumber. A mitre saw was perched in the kitchen and nail guns and a circular saw leaned up against one of the completed walls. A cooler full of cold drinks lurked in a shady corner in between a couple of folding chairs.

I knew this house like the back of my hand. This was Stan’s house, a dearly missed old friend of mine. He and his wife had designed this house from the ground up all by themselves and set to building it with their own hands. An ambitious project for sure, but that was Stan for you. It was here, in the midst of helping out a friend that I discovered that hard work suited me. I learned a lot helping to build this place and that knowledge had helped me land first decent full time job and begin the long crawl out of the rut I’d been in since my parents died.

A large eagle glided in out of nowhere to perch at the peak of one of the large spruce trees that surrounded the house. It craned its head towards curiously towards me, eyes unblinking in their intensity.

I dropped the hammer into the loop on the side of the tool belt that had appeared around my waist. Some intangible force locked my mind firmly into place and pushed the troubled thoughts and doubts of the last few days into a place where I could not follow. There was work to be done here.

The rattle of hammer on metal loop as I walked across the kitchen was a welcome memory from a life now lost to me. At an open edge of the floor I paused for a moment. From a pouch in my belt I produced a tape measure and a battered pencil. I was pretty sure I remembered this measurement but I was going to check anyways. The east wall of the kitchen was going to go here. It had no windows and that made it a real simple wall to build.

Pencil clenched in my teeth I hooked the end of the tape against the edge of the plywood floor sheeting and strung it out the edge of the wall that ended at the north-east corner of the kitchen. Ten feet, six inches. I nodded, right on the money. I went outside to the stacks of lumber and picked two of the straightest twelve foot, two by six boards I could find. These I hauled back into the kitchen and stacked on the floor. Grabbing a broom that happened to be leaning up against one the the walls, I swept away all the sawdust and debris in the area where I was going to assemble the new wall.

Kneeling down at the edge of the floor I measured in five and seven-eights of an inch, the thickness of the wall plus the exterior plywood sheeting, in from the edge and tacked in a nail at that point. At the opposite end of the open space where the wall was going to go I made another mark at the same distance in. The end of a chalk line was hooked to the nail and strung out to the second mark. Pulled tightly against the nail, the line was pulled across the second mark and I snapped a nice clean black chalk line across the floor. This was the reference line for the base of the wall to make sure I would line it up correctly with the edge of the foundation. The two twelve foot boards were trimmed down to ten and a half feet with a circular saw. I tacked them together with a couple spikes, produced a carpenter’s square from another pouch and began penciling in the the stud layout for the wall.

As I worked an awareness of being watched slowly crawled over me. Brow furrowed, I wiped the sweat from my brow and stood, eyes searching the shadowed corners of the kitchen. The strange force that had locked my mind into a singular purpose suddenly fled. I stumbled, blinking in surprise at my surroundings, and especially at the dark figure that stood in the shadow of a wall a few short paces away, surveying his surroundings with calculating yellow eyes.

“This is good work,” he said. “Good for the body and for the soul.”

I was momentarily taken aback by this statement and stared at the unwelcome hallucination for a long moment. “Who the hell are you?!”

Amusement flickered in those golden eyes and an ear twitched but the rest of his face remained impassive. When he spoke again, his voice was deep and ageless with great strength and power hidden below his words.

“I think you know the answer to that question.”

The figure before me stepped out from the shadows and into the sun. He was all dominant canine swagger, ears fully erect and forward, tail held high with just a suggestion of a wag at the tip. He radiated a sense of strength that spoke of endless vitality and limitless endurance. Nearly a full head taller than Sharra, at the tips of his pointed ears he bested me slightly in height. His dense coat of black fur caught the light like charcoal in the sun, subtle highlights changing and shifting as he moved. Powerful muscles bunched under that thick pelt and his broad shouldered physique that looked like something chiseled on a marble statue of an ancient Greek God. The mark of the Hunter, the same deer antlers and spear that I bore in black ink on my shoulder stood out in contrasting white against the black fur on his chest. My eyes widened and I swallowed nervously as he approached.

Golden-yellow eyes seized me in a grip of iron and bored deep into my soul, peeling back the layers of my psyche. I was powerless to stop him as he reached deep into the core of who I was and shined light into dark corners. The invasion lasted only the briefest of seconds but it left me breathless and shaken when the eyes released me and the pressure fled.

It took a moment for me to find my voice.

“Yeah, I guess I do know who you are.”

I looked down at my hands, clenching them into to fists to try and stop them from shaking.

“Ran into your mate a couple months back.”

My voice was hoarse and a cold sweat broke out on my forehead. I tried to meet his eyes but after only a brief moment of contact I had to look away. I took a deep breath and used the strength of my will to force some calm back into my thoughts. Once I had collected some of my wits I looked back up at the black figure. The tiniest of smiles flashed across his muzzle and he nodded approvingly as my strength returned.

“Why did you bring me here?”

This wolf-like Father deity of the Tokarran people surveyed our surroundings, drinking in every detail. His eyes lingered on the eagle perched in the tree for a moment and he acknowledged the great bird with an incline of his head.

“I did not bring us to this place.” He rumbled, “The considerable strength of your will combined with your excellent memory and vivid imagination achieved that.”

He nodded slowly.

“But it is a good choice. This place is a keystone in the tangled web of your memories. It represents a huge shift in the potential futures of your young life and the work you did here began changing the person you were into something better. This house and the lessons you learned working here are a large branch of the root, in a sense, of the man you are today.”

“Okaaaaay …” I said as I tried to figure out just what the hell was going on. “ But what’s your interest in me?”

Yellow eyes settled unnervingly on me.

“To guide. Perhaps even to teach.”

“Wonderful.” I frowned. “Now why does that worry me so much?”

A shadow of a smile crossed the wolf’s muzzle.

“Because you are an intelligent being that is capable of seeing many facets of reality at once.”

The wolf paused for a moment and the intensity of his stare ramped up.

“I am here, in part, because you are threatening to stray from the path that has been set for you. A once clear future is now hidden from my sight and plans that have required great sacrifice to set in motion are now at risk.”

My brow furrowed at that statement and a creeping sense of unease took hold of me.

“I still don’t understand-”

One single word spoken in an even tone jolted me from my confusion.

“Sharra.”

I stared at this Father deity of Sharra’s people for a long moment as my brain finally caught up with the goings on.

“Did your mate put you up to this?”

That earned a chuckle and a genuine smile from my furry companion.

“Your perceptive instincts are certainly strong. Relationships and matters of love are far more her area of expertise than mine. While I am here of my own accord you are, in a sense, correct. After seeing your recent romantic struggles my mate suggested that I should have a little chat with you about your mate. As you wear the mark of the Mother, I am sure you are quite aware of her keen interest in you.”

“I’ve been trying to forget about that.”

“That will not do you any good. She is always watching and her influence reaches far and wide. Though in this one particular instance you are being remarkably unaffected by her efforts to guide you in the right direction. Thus my sudden involvement. We thought it might help for you to hear a few things from a male point of view.”

“So, in other words I’m about to get relationship advice from someone who looks like a wild animal but is actually a God to a inhuman race.”

“Pretty much.”

“Awesome.”

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

“This isn’t going to be awkward at all. I need a drink before this goes any further.”

The cooler lurking between the chairs in the shade of a wall was calling my name. I made my way to it, flipped the open the lid and plucked a beer from the frosty interior. I tossed the cap from the bottle over my shoulder and took a long pull. The beer was icy cold and the hoppy bitterness on my tongue awoke memories of other times and other joys. Collapsing into one of the chairs I stared blankly at the wall for a long time.

Claws clicking softly on the plywood floor jolted me from my reverie. The black wolf had approached and was staring suspiciously at the chair on the other side of the cooler. After a couple of false starts he curled his tail around into his lap and settled uncomfortably into the fabric.

I raised an eyebrow at his awkward posture and discomfited expression. After a moment’s hesitation I flipped open the cooler and plucked another brew from the ice. I held the bottle out at arms length to my odd companion.

“Beer?”

Yellow eyes regarded me coolly and the bottle was plucked from my fingers without a word. Short fingers tipped with blunt claws fumbled with the cap for a moment before there was a hiss of escaping carbonation. The black wolf sniffed the beer suspiciously before spending a good half minute trying to figure out how to drink it. I almost laughed outright at that. I’d never once thought about the difficulties having a muzzle would present when it came to drinking out of a beer bottle. Eventually he discovered that pressing the bottle to the corner of his mouth would work and he took a tentative mouthful. As the flavour hit his tongue a strange expression came over his face. His ears splayed straight out from the sides of his head and his eyes narrowed. He stuck his tongue out and gave his head a shake. Yellow eyes found mine and he gave me a long, intense look.

“You actually enjoy this?”

I laughed and had another pull off the bottle.

“Very much.”

My companion regarded the bottle in his bluntly clawed hand suspiciously.

“You humans are a strange bunch.”

“No argument there.”

“Yet you have much to offer. There is a depth to your species that is quite unique.”

“Too bad they’re all dead.”

“Not all.” The wolf grinned “Just everyone except you.”

I grimaced and had another swig of beer.

“Thanks for reminding me of that. Its great fun to be the last surviving member of your species.”

“Is it really that bad? You are alive and healthy and you have a mate that loves you. Things could certainly be worse.”

I paused, beer halfway to my open mouth.

“Maybe.”

I frowned and thumped the beer on the lid of the cooler in front of me.

“But I just don’t understand any of this. I don’t get why I’m even in this mess. I’m not good with relationships or even other people for that matter. I learned a long time ago that it’s easier to keep my distance from such things.”

The lack wolf leaned forward and his yellow eyes bored right into my soul.

“You are better at those things than you know and you are changing in ways you once thought impossible. Turn the power of that amazing human mind inwards and you will begin to understand. Even now you miss Sharra and the companionship she provides. You even miss her unique scent.”

I leaned back in my chair for a moment, thinking.

“You’re not wrong there.”

The wolf chuckled.

“You even smile when you think about her. Did you know that?”

“I … what?”

The chuckle turned into outright laughter and the black furball downed another mouthful of beer. Once he had composed himself his tail wagged and his yellow eyes danced between perked ears and a confident grin.

“You are so transparent. Someone is in love and does not even know it yet.”

“Oh, come on!” I snorted, “I like Sharra plenty but we’re totally different species!”

“True, but she is more human than you realize.”

“Say what?” I blurted out, confused at the sudden turn in the conversation.

“There is a profound genetic link between your species and hers that I will not elaborate on at this point as that is a discussion for a different time. Suffice it to say that despite your outward appearances, the two of you are more alike than you are different. Unfortunately, for your own delicate sensibilities, perhaps she is not human enough.” There was an edge of disappointment in the Father God’s voice and I stared at him for a long time before I felt comfortable replying.

“No, I guess she’s not.”

“So,” He rumbled, returning my stare with a piercing gaze of his own. “in this timeline where you are the only remaining member of your species, why does that matter?”

I sighed deeply and stared at the rough wooden floor between my feet for a moment.

“She’s asked me the same thing and honestly that’s a question I haven’t been able to answer her yet. Don’t get me wrong, I care for her more than I like to admit but being anything more than just friends with her seems … unnatural.”

I shook my head slowly, trying to get a grip on my thoughts.

“I will let you in on a little secret.” The wolf rumbled. “ You think that way because at an unconscious level you believe that your relationship with her is the same as the one you had with your dog in your old life. For you that sort of platonic friendship is safe and you believe you will not have your heart broken.”

Startled I drew back in my seat and regarded the wolf across from me in profound astonishment. I’ll be damned if that fluffy black bastard didn’t have a good point. I had honestly never thought of Sharra and our relationship in that way but now that I did turn my thoughts in that direction I could find some measure of truth to his words. My mouth opened to say something but closed when I couldn’t find the words. A smile crept along the Father’s muzzle and I stared at him for a long moment as the wheels churned inside my head.

“I think,” I finally began, “That you may be on to something there.”

“Of course. I am a God after all.” He said pointedly. “Humans and dogs had a long enough history together that the predisposition for a platonic relationship with a furry, four legged canine is written in your genetic code. However, Sharra is far more than a simple dog and you know that. You have said to yourself that if her personality were encased in a human body that you would be thrilled to have her attentions.”

I swallowed the last of my beer and regarded my companion suspiciously. After a moment I tossed the empty over my shoulder and and reached into the cooler for a fresh one. I spun off the cap and downed a third of it in one gulp. The wolf’s ears followed the sound of the empty bottle as it thumped and rolled across the wooden floor. He watched me idly, a hint of amusement tugging at his lupine features. I leaned forward, elbows on knees, freshly opened beer cradled in both hands.

“Sooo … Any ideas on how I can get my brain past this roadblock?”

“I thought you would never ask.” He grinned. “You can start by concentrating more on who she is than what she is and her physical attributes will become less of of a problem for you. I will not say that it will be easy. It will take conscious effort on your part to change your patterns of thought and you will have to tread lightly around your mate for the time being. Now is an especially sensitive time for Sharra with her Season upon her and you have not exactly been a model partner up to this point.”

“Yeah, I seem to have found that out the hard way.” I admitted, avoiding the Father’s yellow eyes.

“Tokarran females are not so different from human females in many ways, but in a few others they are worlds apart. Like their human counterparts they thrive on attention and affection from their mates. Little gestures, like that gift of the comb you gave to Sharra, can go a long way. Spend time with her, compliment her, and be open with her about the problems you face. Plan your future together, and do not be afraid to touch her and give her the close physical contact she craves from you, especially while her Season remains. There is nothing for you to fear in doing so and it will lead to certain … physical affections for your attentions.”

The black wolf grinned salaciously. I raised an eyebrow.

“Ummm,” I swallowed nervously, “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that part.”

“You do not enjoy mating?” The Father asked innocently.

I nearly choked on my beer. A wide eyed stare at my leering companion was all I could muster for a long moment.

“Trust me,” I said at length, my face reddening, “I like sex as much as the next man, but sex with Sharra? I mean, that’s just …”

Words failed me and all I could do was stare helplessly at my companion.

A low chuckle escaped the black wolf.

“A bit of a stretch for you at this point, I know, as your psyche is unfortunately bound by the moralities of a civilization and species that faded out of existence millenia ago but try to keep an open mind about the possibility. Push the right buttons and you will find her a very willing partner, especially with the Season upon her and believe me when I say that the special mental bond you share will make it an incredibly unique experience for you and one that will bring the two of you closer together in ways you cannot even imagine.”

I leaned back and sighed, shaking my head.

“I don’t know about that, it just doesn’t seem right, even when I take into account all of Sharra’s wonderful attributes. Even if I could get past the fact that we’re different species it’s just not that easy for me to be close to other people. Relationships have always been a struggle, even with females of my own species. I’m just …”

I frowned and waved my arm uncertainly, searching for the right words.

“Emotionally unavailable is the term you are looking for.” The Father leaned forward and clasped his hands together, golden-yellow eyes fixed steadily on mine.

“The fierce independence you love to broadcast to the world is simply an excuse for you to build walls that keep you separate from those around you. The experiences in your often solitary young life have made you this way in order to protect the sensitive parts of your psyche. You unconsciously will not let yourself get too close to others you because deep down you are terrified of getting hurt again. On top of that, your dislike for change and your moderate levels of social anxiety just make everything worse.”

Once again I was stunned to silence. I looked into the eyes of the wolf across from me and read the unshakable truth of his words in those golden depths. My voice wasn’t entirely steady when I coaxed it back to life.

“Is there anything that you don’t know about me?”

“No.”

I downed the rest of my beer in one gulp, thumped the empty bottle on the floor beside my chair and reached into the cooler for a fresh one.

“Well that’s more than a little unsettling.” I muttered as I spun the cap off the bottle.

“Absolutely. I apologize for causing you discomfort but it is something you must endure. A future my mate and I have been working long to bring into reality is at stake and you and Sharra are the nexus from which that future will spring. We must make sure that your feet stay on the path we see for you.”

My eyebrows shot right into my hairline and I froze, beer halfway to my mouth.

“Okaaaay.” I said slowly, confused and slightly disturbed at the sudden turn this conversation had taken.

A calculating grin slowly crawled across the muzzle of my companion.

“I can see the questions form in your mind long before the words reach your tongue, even the ones you are afraid to ask. You want to know why my mate and I are so interested in you, and why you have been marked by those who seem an impossibility to you. Most of all you want to know what this future that only I and my mate can see is and why you are so important to it.”

I could only nod.

The black wolf sighed and shook his head slowly. His eyes went to the eagle that remained perched at the top of the tree and lingered there for a moment. I sensed some unspoken communication pass between them. At length the Father turn his attention back to me, an edge of disappointment tainting his words. “I cannot give you all of the answers you seek. For you to know too much about the future that we envision would be to jeopardize it. I am only allowed to say this one thing: The key to that future is in your precious DNA. As an extinct hominid species once contributed roughly two percent to your genetic code so shall be your legacy with the Tokarran if your feet stay on the path.”

He paused for a moment to let that sink in.

“I am sure you can understand now why your relationship with Sharra must move forward.”

I honestly had no idea what to say to that. I sat frozen and open mouthed, beer in one hand as strange thoughts churned between my ears.

“You’re kidding right? Aren’t you a God? Can’t you just snap your fingers or something and come up with the right genetic combination?

My wolf-like companion grinned, the tips of his perfect white teeth contrasting starkly with his jet black fur.

“Now where would be the fun in that?”

My eyes narrowed and I regarded this so-called deity suspiciously.

“Might be less traumatizing for me that way.” I grumbled as I swallowed a mouthful of beer.

“But far less effective.” He said. “Genetics is hardly an exact science. Allowances must be made for random genetic drift and the driving factors from the environment and every life bearing world is a little different in that respect. We could simply blend the necessary parts of your DNA into Sharra’s but it would be nearly impossible for us to account for all the environmental pressures that come into play when it is done the good old fashioned way. And besides, who would teach the pups if we did that? The creativity, curiosity and imaginative powers you have locked up in that amazing human brain of yours are going to be invaluable in helping the next generation grow into what they are meant to become.”

I just stared at the Father wolf.

“How the hell is any of that even possible? Maybe Sharra and I are alike in some ways but as far as I know genetics won’t allow two different species to breed. And even if we could I’m not sure if I want to know what the kids would end up looking like.”

“Well,” The wolf said, suddenly avoiding my gaze, “we may be making a few minor adjustments in that department in order to help the two of you out.”

I couldn’t even begin to process that statement.

“Adjustments!” I choked out.

“Don’t worry.” The Father waved a hand dismissively. “It is nothing too serious and you may actually enjoy the effects.”

I had no idea what to say to that. I took a long swallow of beer in a fruitless attempt to settle my thoughts.

“You have got to be kidding me.” I muttered, shaking my head. “Adjustments? Goddamn …”

The wolf across from me twitched an ear, the ghost of a smile creeping along his muzzle and a twinkle in his golden eyes.

“Okay,” I began when I had finally settled my thoughts “Let’s say just for giggles that this plan of yours comes to fruition and Sharra and I have some kids, pups … or whatever the hell you want to call them. If they’re going to be as special as you’re implying, I’m not sure I want that kind of responsibility hanging over my head.”

A chuckle escaped my furry companion as he leaned back in his chair, a lopsided smirk twisting his muzzle.

“You are nothing if not stubborn.” He remarked. “You really have no idea what you are missing out on. Think of the dream that your wonderful mate shared with you last night. Was that really so bad?”

He had me there and he knew it.

“No,” I said at length, “I guess it wasn’t.”

“Then quit being so damned obstinate and seize the opportunity that is presenting itself! You know deep down that this is something you have always wanted.”

I had no reply for that. I just sat quietly, sipping my beer, questioning my sanity and surveying my once familiar surroundings. This Father deity was right in so many ways. This house that I had helped a friend build, It had begun changes in my life that led to better things and bettered me as a person. It was where the first signs of healing from the damage done in the early years of my life had showed up. A tangled and convoluted path had led me to my current situation but the Father was right. It was something I had always wanted. That sense of belonging among those that surrounded me, and of having a loving partner, even the possibility of having a family. For years I had been telling myself that those cherished things were not meant for me, and would never be for me because I didn’t deserve them, but that was just another excuse and another wall I built to keep people at arms length.

The black Tokarran God eyed me in silence, a sympathetic expression marking his lupine features as I wrestled with strange thoughts. After a moment he spoke in soft tones that belied his authoritative appearance.

“You are a good person despite your frequent thoughts to the contrary. Always remember that.”

He downed the last of his beer. A strange expression crossed his face and he held the bottle at arms length, eying it oddly.

“I just don’t know-”

“I do.” My furry companion interrupted as he pushed himself up from his chair.

“And that is why I chose to give you the gift of my marks and the knowledge and status that will come with them. There is so much potential within you but you are the only one that can unlock it. I have done what I can to guide you and it was I that gave you the ability to access certain aspects of the genetic memory of your species in order to help you survive but I am only allowed to do so much to free your mind. The rest must remain up to you. For better or for worse, it is you that must decide if your feet will follow the path that my mate and I have seen and embrace the changes that will come with it.”

I looked up at this Father deity of the Tokarran, feeling more confused than I had ever felt before in my life. His ears relaxed and a sympathetic grin grew on his muzzle. With a wagging tail he offered a bluntly clawed hand. After a moment’s hesitation I clasped it and rose from my seat. My furry companion maintained a steady grip on my hand and regarded me coolly with his piercing yellow eyes.

“My time here is spent and we must now part ways. We both have someone who waits patiently for us at home.”

He grinned and winked.

“By the way, you may want to bring Sharra some little gift, perhaps a few flowers to calm the waters, so to speak. Running away from her during her time of need was certainly not the smartest decision you have ever made.”

“I really screwed the pooch there didn’t I?”

The wolf threw his head back and laughed, a genuine sound of honest amusement.

“Not yet, but you really should try that. I know it would certainly make your mate happy and you might even enjoy it.”

“Very funny.” I glared at the Father. He grinned and wagged his tail.

“Your choice of words,” he couldn’t stop smiling. “I believe your people called that a Freudian slip.”

I sighed and gave him an exasperated stare.

“What I meant is that I’m probably going to be in trouble when I get back.”

The Father God cocked his head in thought.

“You could be. It will all depend on how you approach the situation. However, I would be prepared to run if your reunion does not go as planned. Tokkaran females can be a little twitchy when their needs have not been satisfied during their Season.”

A silly grin remained on my companion’s muzzle.

“Wonderful,” I muttered “Thanks for all the help.”

That elicited another chuckle from the Father wolf and his eyes glittered with amusement.

“By the way, there is a spot you can tickle just above her tail that might divert her attention to other things ...” His voice trailed off as the grin on his muzzle got wider.

I didn’t know what to say to that and could do little but stare at the wolf in surprise. After a moment I shook my head in wonder.

“You know, you’re nothing like your mate.”

“No I am not. One way you may think of us is in the terms of Yin and Yang from the Chinese philosophy of your time. We are opposite yet complimentary. As a pair we are greater than we are as individuals.”

He flicked his ears at the confused expression that crossed my face.

“In simpler terms, my mate is Queen of the abstract and deals in matters of feelings and of faith. I, on the other hand,” he grinned toothily at me, “prefer facts, logic and reality.”

“I think I understand now.”

The Father smirked, wagging his tail as he released my hand and stepped back.

“Do not be so sure of that. Farewell, my adopted human son, and good luck!”

#

I snapped back to awareness in the cool dawn twilight of a late summer morning, the Father’s words lingering in my thoughts. Despite having spent the entire night in a roughly built and uncomfortable wooden chair, I felt well rested and refreshed. When I stood up and wandered through the door and out into the fresh and delightfully cool open air my thoughts bent towards the special mental bond I shared with my mate. I gently felt my way towards her. She was sleeping lightly after a long night spent wandering the forest in search of her own answers. I felt a soft smile cross my lips and I quietly sent a message into her sleeping mind.

It was time for me to come home.