FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Leo tapped his pockets, then braced himself as he inserted the key into the front door. As he turned the key, the door suddenly swung open to reveal Missy, clad in a faded robe. “Welcome back, lover," she said, stifling her laughs. The key fell to the floor. Leo shooed her inside, shut the door, and picked up his key.

“Really? Did you really have to do that?"

“Hey, I thought it would be a nice way to be greeted," Missy replied.

“No. When you called me?"

“Oh. Well, c'mon dude I told you I was bored." She shrugged. “You were at work so you must've been bored too. I put two together."

“If anything you made me more bored," Leo replied with a shake of the head. He started walking off to his bedroom. Right, it was their bedroom now, and just like any person with a bedroom, Missy already began decorating. Some of his clothes were strewn on the floor. A box of cereal on the bed. Television on. Pristine, just as he had left it. “I see you had your fun. No need to call me." He pointed into the room.

“If it makes you feel any better, those clothes were already dirty."

“And the cereal?"

“I was hungry."

“You had to leave the TV on too? Just in case the bugs in the room got bored?"

“I'll give you ten bucks if there's a bug in this house.

“Clean it up."

“Sorry? Did I hear something? I thought there was some guy who lo—"

Leo snapped his hand shut at the air. “Missy," Leo said firmly and calmly. “Clean it up. I already gave you the bed. You should be happy with it."

Missy turned her head, keeping her gaze on Leo. He could barely see her brow crinkle. “Alright, fine. Sheesh." Missy silently went about her tasks. She turned off the television, picked up all of the scattered clothes, and snacks. There was an amusing factor to making a woodland monster pick up trash. So amusing in fact, that it took Leo some time to realize she hadn't shot any more snarky remarks his way. “There," she said, walking past him to put his clothes back in a hamper.

“Thank you," Leo replied. He undid his tie, and walked in, setting his case down on the bed. He looked back to make sure Missy wasn't looking in, then quickly closed the door to change. Maybe she could be a good roommate yet, he considered. He shook his head. Fat chance. This was probably some sort of rare event. Oh well, at least it was good while it lasted. He changed into more civilian clothes and stepped back out into the living room, but not before stowing away his laptop. Back in the living room, Missy was back to her lounging, staring at the television in front of her.

Today's work was already long decided ago, from the moment he woke up. He moved into his storage room, retrieved a spick and span toolbox and walked back over to the kitchen. “What'cha doin' over there?" Missy asked, not turning her attention away from the screen.

“Working on the pipes. The sink is draining too slow."

“OK, eagle eye," she replied disinterestedly. Leo turned on the sink and then quickly off. Yep, that was a block alright. “You really need to do that now?"

“Before it becomes a problem, yes." He set down his tools and pulled out a bowl. Kneeling down, he opened the cabinet under the sink, placed the bowl under the pipes, and began to loosen the whole thing. “Losing a sink isn't fun."

“So who was that guy you were talking with at work?"

Leo grunted as he undid a pipe, setting it aside carefully. “If you have to know, that was my boss." Water dripped out, falling into the bowl.

“Your boss let you on your phone at work? What a cool guy."

“He really didn't, not until he realized I was—" he sighed, both in exertion and annoyance “—talking to a girl."

Missy giggled. “He knows you're lonely, huh?"

Leo rolled his eyes. “Something like that. He can be a little too nice." He slipped on some gloves and reached into the pipe, feeling around for a blockage.

“Is that why you said you loved me?" She giggled again. “That was awfully sweet of you!"

“I wasn't about to disappoint him," Leo replied simply. Yeah, something like that. He shifted his attention to another pipe, searching in there too. After a few moments of prodding, a black clump of hair dribbled out into the bowl below. Gee, how did that get there? He was going to have to check the tub too.

“So did you mean it?"

“What?" Leo glanced back to see Missy had turned around in her chair to look at him.

“Did you mean it?" The question lacked that sarcastic bite, but she was still smiling. “Don't keep a lady waiting, c'mon."

“I mean, didn't you just ask why I did it? Isn't that answer enough?" He turned back. She had canine qualities and none of the redeeming factors. “Can't even grab the paper in the morning," he mumbled. It was an odd question though.

“No, it isn't."

“Well let me ask you something then, do you love me?" There's a thinker for you. “Now let me get back to work." He pushed a little more, forcing out more of the hair.

“Sure," Missy said simply.

Leo stopped and shook his head. “You can't just toss love around like that, alright? I'm not one of your house crash buddies." Not entirely, anyways. He still had some level of standards in comparison.

“Chivalrous, exactly why I love you. And the food. And the house. And the cool stuff."

“Yeah?" That sounded about right for her. “I guess you liked all the other guys like that too?"

“Nah, their houses sucked. Like, three rooms bad. Sometimes two."

“Well. That's what happens when you do nothing all day." Maybe that was too subtle for her.

“What if you're rich, though? Then you really can do nothing all day."

“That just gives you more things to do." More clumps fell out. What the hell was she doing? “How many times have you used the sink?" Leo asked.

“Oh, I got jam in my fur, so I was scrubbing it off at the sink. You'd think it would come out easy, but no!"

“We have a damned tub, you know," Leo said, looking into the bowl.

“Yeah but I'm not gonna take a whole shower to get rid of some gunk. Be real. Dish soap and water, done."

Leo set his tool down and took off his gloves. He briefly rubbed his eyes before standing up. “Missy." He walked over to the couch, rounding the armrest.

“Yeah?" The man swiped the remote control out of her hand. “Hey! Easy! I was using that!"

Leo shut off the television. “How are you this damned inconsiderate? Doesn't anything run through your head before you try it? Anything? At all?"

“It's just a fucking sink."

“Sure it's just a fucking sink now, but how about the next thing you screw up? What about when you break my laptop? Fuck up the fridge?"

Missy stood up, frowning. “You lost the bet, asshole, so shut—"

Leo jabbed a finger at her, instantly shutting her up. “Don't talk to me about a damned bet. You're in my house. You're so goddamned lucky I even let you do that stupid thing and gave my word. What have you done here except mess up my life and screw around?" He stepped closer. Missy slunk back into her chair.

“What the hell do you expect me to do? I can't get a job. I can't do a lot of work! You don't think I feel bad about being a useless piece of shit sometimes?"

“No. No I don't. In fact, I can't imagine the thought has crossed your mind until this very moment, but you could, and hear me out here, bother to be a decent human being."

Missy bared her teeth. “I'm not human, jackass!"

“But you sure do act like them! Look at you on the couch, wearing their clothes, watching their television, eating their food. You sure love the lifestyle, but you can't handle any bit of it when it comes to being a good person."

Missy glanced away and bundled up. Whatever ferocity she had instantly evaporated. “What the fuck is your problem?"

Leo ignored the most rhetorical question he had heard in his entire life. “No wonder you're here. Even after all those pathetic no-lifes fucked you, you still somehow wasted all their goodwill away. Not surprising. I don't know how the hell I've managed to keep myself sane with you around."

“...I thought you liked me at least a little."

“As a matter of fact, no, I don't. Tell me, Missy. Put yourself in my shoes just for a fraction of a second. You work your whole life for a good living and then you find yourself having to deal with someone you hardly know rushing in and being all buddy buddy. Wouldn't like it, would you?"

Missy continued to look away into the distance.

“Look at me." She snapped to him, staring daggers at him. “Wouldn't like it, would you?"

“No, but I wouldn't flip the fuck out like you do!"

“Sure you would, if you had ever bothered to think about how other people feel."

“So what do you want me to do? Shut up? Sit in the corner? Maybe I should just disappear."

“Don't even try to act like that's a bad thing, you know that's exactly what I'd want."

“And sit out in the woods? I'm just supposed survive there?"

“I don't know what the hell you are, but if you're not human you definitely belong out there and not in here. Pick your poison, Missy."

There was a long silence. Leo silently hoped she would agree and give up being a waste of space. Instead, she continued to shift and fidget, occasionally looking up at Leo as if she were praying he'd disappear. She may have had sharp claws and teeth, but they didn't really mean anything, did they? Even if she weren't a tame beast, she probably couldn't have done anything to him seriously. “Well?" he asked.

Missy looked up at him properly. “Fine." She stood up and pulled off the robe, then forcefully tossed it onto the couch. “Fine." She rushed past him and went straight into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

“Fine," Leo replied back. He picked up the robe. It was hers now anyways, but it might as well go into the wash. He moved into the hallway, depositing the robe into the hamper. “If you take a shower make sure that drainer is on it. I don't want to have to fix that one too." A deep, guttural growl was the response he got. Figures. Hopefully she wouldn't be in there long. “And dry yourself off in the tub." Leo walked back into the living room. He glanced back at the bathroom door.