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Harrison High School

Colorado Springs, CO

May 8, 2001

The end of the year was approaching and the pressure was building; the combination of studying for finals, wrapping up loose ends before graduation, avoiding Matt and Katie’s clique as much as possible, and trying to make a cohesive plan for the last few weeks of school was a mentally taxing ordeal. The latter was something I was currently dealing with amongst the din of the cafeteria; sharing a table with Julie and Seth as Will was out sick.

“So, have you made a decision about going to prom yet?” Seth asked as I sat down; two slices of pizza and a bottle of Coke wasn’t the healthiest meal but I needed to eat quickly. Amongst my other responsibilities I was helping Mrs. Callaway get all the school’s computers and A/V equipment sorted out before the end of the year. I needed to bring a cart’s worth of A/V equipment and spare teacher laptops to the storeroom as I would be wiping, reloading, and cataloging them over the next couple of weeks.

“I’m still on the fence,” I admitted before tearing into my food. “There’s a lot going on; classes, computer work, the shops just got through Mother’s Day, and I haven’t had a lot of time to think about it.”

“You realize prom is two weeks from Friday, right?” Julie inquired. “While I hope you’d go with her, you should let Holly know one way or the other. She told me she gave you a ticket?” I nodded; not particularly in the mood to discuss this whole prom debacle much further.

“The fact Matt’s probably not too happy with getting suspended right before graduation is a pretty big factor,” I responded. “I’m not in the mood for that kind of drama.”

“That was his own damn fault, Adam,” Seth spoke up. “If you want to go, go. If you want to take Holly and dance with her right in front of him, do it. Just desserts.”

“I don’t really feel like becoming any more of a target for their popular rich kid crap any more than I already am.” I shrugged as I polished off one slice of pizza and started working on the other.

“What do you mean?” Julie asked.

I explained between bites. “Holly told me that Katie’s clique does a lot of underhanded things. I don’t want to wind up in legal trouble because one of those morons wanted to pull something cute.”

Seth sighed in frustration. “Dude, you shouldn’t let them dictate what you’re going to do. You’ve got Mrs. Callaway in your corner if something bad happens.”

“I’ll take that under consideration,” I replied, “but I really have to go. Speaking of Mrs. Callaway, she’s asked me to take care of a few things this afternoon. I’ll catch you after class tomorrow?” I said my goodbyes and left; dumping my trash on the way to the library.

With finals coming up next week the library was fairly busy; plenty of students were poring over textbooks or sitting at computers, trying to brush up on concepts they weren’t confident about or deep into research projects. I was pretty confident about my own project for Mr. Schaefer’s final, but my economics class final kept me from getting as much roleplay time as I would have liked.

I had told some of the people I played with that I would be busy with work; it was a bit of a pain as I wanted to have a couple more sessions with Meika. The action and casual flirtation was intriguing, especially since it wasn’t real. I didn’t have to worry about getting hurt or hurting someone else; it was simply words on a screen and fictional characters. While Will was pretty much dating Isla’s player I had serious reservations about much out-of-character interaction with other players. My absolute rule was to share as little personal information and keep as anonymous as possible. If another player somehow became interested in me I would politely deflect it.

“There you are!” The voice shook me from my thoughts; Mrs. Callaway approaching with a rolling cart that was loaded down with spare laptops and cases containing the digital cameras that had been collected from the yearbook room. “Thanks for stopping in early; we’ve got a lot to catalog and Mr. Tindal is going to be busy with teacher requests during finals. Thanks again for helping us out.”

“Absolutely, Mrs. Callaway,” I answered. “Before I head down could I speak to you for a moment, in private?” She gave me a questioning look but motioned to her office, which sat behind the circulation desk.

“Is everything okay?” she asked as she shut the door.

I shook my head. “To be honest, not really. I know that Matt Sorenson’s suspension was over yesterday and I’m a little concerned about retaliation. Not in a physical sense; more along the lines of false accusations, nasty rumors and other things that could get my friends and I in trouble.”

The librarian nodded at me, scratching her chin. “I see,” she responded after a moment. “I’m not supposed to tell you this but last year there was an incident with a student where we believe similar antics happened. As a result Mr. Briggs, Mrs. Langolis and I review any serious allegations and require direct evidence of wrongdoing before significant disciplinary action is taken.” That made sense; despite her position she was practically a second vice principal.

“Understood,” I answered. “I just don’t want to be held responsible for something I didn’t do, and I feel it’s a good idea to make it known I have concerns in case something happens.”

“You’ve kept your nose clean the entire time you’ve been at Harrison,” Mrs. Callaway remarked. “That’s the reason I’ve entrusted you with all this expensive equipment. You don’t have much to worry about in that situation, especially if students who have questionable records are the one who accuse you of something.”

“I appreciate that, Mrs. Callaway,” I responded. “I’ll keep as wide a berth from Matt and his friends as possible, but for now I’ll get that equipment stored and logged.”

There was only one elevator in the building; between that and maneuvering a cart full of equipment through a somewhat roundabout path it took me a bit longer to get to the storeroom than walking there directly. I blinked in surprise as I noticed someone leaning in the alcove near the door, as if they had been waiting. Holly glanced over to me with a soft smile; clad in a pair of black jeans, a band T-shirt of some kind, and her leather jacket. This was a significant change from the more upscale designer clothing she usually wore to school; at the last moment I even caught the glint of those fox earrings she had worn during the movie night. “Hey there!” she greeted.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you waiting here,” I answered. “Everything okay?”

She nodded at me. “Mostly, yeah,” she motioned to the door. “Julie mentioned you were doing computer work so I figured I could find you here. I think that Katie’s friends are trying to shun me because of what happened to Matt, so I thought I’d sneak away and see if you wanted to listen to some more music?”

I wasn’t good at subtle hints, but I got the impression that she wanted a break from Katie’s clique. I told her she was a friend and she came here to seek me out as a friend. “Sure. I think I brought that CD you asked me about, the VNV Nation one? I’ve been listening to it quite a bit.”

“I think that might work,” Holly grinned and made her way to the door as I unlocked it, giving me a hand with the bulky cart. “What do you need to do today?”

“I need to unload and organize these laptops and cameras, so nothing too interesting,” I answered. “I don’t think it will take too long.” I pushed the cart into the middle of the room and turned on the test computer; fishing the aforementioned CD from my backpack and setting it on the test bench before I returned to the pile of work I had to accomplish. I didn’t think it was a great idea to mention that I met her father a few days ago; she seemed distracted by other things.

Holly sat down at the desk and pulled up the CD player program before slipping the disc into the drive. The slow-paced synthesizer instrumental started; a somewhat somber introduction to an album I felt quite interesting. I turned around to see a pensive expression on Holly’s face; I wasn’t that great at navigating these kinds of things but I could tell something was bothering her.

“I know I just asked this but are you really okay?” I inquired as I continued to sort the laptops and cameras. Most of them had been used by the yearbook and photography classes, but plenty of them had been loaned out over the course of the year. I had some paperwork to do, but the real work would be to wipe all the hard drives and photo cards at the end of the year.

“I… I don’t know,” Holly admitted. “It still feels like I’ve done something wrong and I’m waiting for reality to come crashing in.”

“What do you think you did wrong?” I asked. “Ending things with Matt, hanging out with us, or something else?”

“I’m worried that snubbing them will blow up in my face,” she sighed, looking up from the desk. “They don’t like being told no, and I don’t know if all of this will end well. I don’t regret pulling away from them and spending time with you and your friends. I just feel like Katie, Ryan, and Matt are being very vindictive and won’t let it rest.”

“I had a conversation with Mrs. Callaway about this,” I explained while continuing to sort through the equipment. “She told me they’re taking false accusations seriously and that Katie’s clique has been raising eyebrows. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“You’re not worried?” Holly asked, giving me a confused expression. “I guess I’m concerned about what might happen if they pin something on one of us. That could hamper our chances of getting into a good college if there’s a disciplinary strike on our records.”

I shrugged. “It sounds like Matt’s more pissed at me than you, so if he tries something I’ll probably be the target. If he’s trying to get back with you he won’t do anything to jeopardize that,” I reasoned. “As long as I’m not getting expelled or arrested before the end of the year I figure it can’t be too bad.”

“If they manage to get something on your record, college admission will be a lot more difficult,” Holly cautioned. “Places like CU and CC look at those sorts of things; it could wreck those prospects.”

“Holly,” I commented as I started to look at the clipboard that accompanied the computers and cameras; it was a rundown of who they had been assigned to and when they had been returned. “I’m not going to college, remember? Not right after graduating, at least.”

“Why not?” She seemed genuinely surprised. “You’re doing this kind of volunteer work; you’re on great terms with Mrs. Callaway and most of the tenured teachers here. With good placement scores you would likely get into a great school.”

“Most of which are very expensive,” I countered. “Yeah, my family is doing pretty well but running four stores is a lot of hard work. While Matt’s, Ryan’s, and Katie’s parents have their cocktail meetings and shuffle money around, we stock shelves, unload trucks, work shifts when our employees can’t and drive all over town delivering flowers. I’m going to help out by managing the Fountain store for at least a couple of years; I need a break from all this academic stuff anyway.”

I knew Katie and her clique by proxy; most of them were the sons and daughters of lawyers and investment advisors. They tended to have a lot more idle time than my folks did; it was a major part of the reason my parents didn’t have much to do with theirs. We were busy working.

“I… I see.” Holly answered after a moment, still regarding me curiously. “So, why do all of this if it isn’t for college?”

I shrugged again. “I like doing it. Computers interest me, and there are certifications I can attain if I want to turn this into a career path. I guess I’m tired of sitting in desks and learning a bunch of dry information through books seemingly written to put people to sleep. I’d rather learn by getting my feet wet, so to speak.” I waved my hand at the assortment of electronics around us.

Holly’s expression grew thoughtful. “I figure it’s something you can learn while working instead of going to college full-time?”

“Bingo,” I affirmed. “Instead of expensive semesters I can cobble a couple of old computers together and tinker with them when I’m not working. Throw in a couple of test prep books and I figure I can get some real progress knocked out while working.”

“Having this experience on your record would look good to an employer,” Holly mused. “I think I get why you’re doing this.”

“Not to mention a couple of years of managing a store,” I added, removing the laptops from their bags. They had to be organized so I could go through them and make sure there was no damage to them. “I figure that when I’m ready to move on from the shops I should have some good work experience.”

“That’s a different outlook from what I’ve seen from a lot of our peers,” Holly looked at the computer and turned down the volume a little bit. “I’m glad you have a plan, at least.”

I shrugged. “I’m just not that great at or interested in the whole academic thing; I’m just taking things moment by moment, if that makes sense?” I explained. “You know as much as I do the cost of running yourself dry trying to keep up appearances that don’t suit you.”

Holly sighed; an almost defeated sound that revealed a brief glimpse into an inner exhaustion that seemed to mirror mine. “You have a point. I kinda dressed like this today to tell them off, but I think it’s just as much that I’m tired of hiding myself from everyone. I don’t think anyone else noticed, though.”

“Is that really a bad thing?” I asked. “You look a lot more relaxed and carefree. I mean, I can tell you really like System of a Down because you’re wearing one of their shirts. The fox earrings are an interesting touch, too.”

Holly’s cheeks lit up in a blush. “They were a gift of mine from Mako, a friend of mine from Japan,” she explained. “My dad gave me this purple crystal that he found on one of his Army trips, and Mako accidentally broke it when she was visiting one day. She gave me these as an apology, and I wear them because they remind me of the happy, simple times I had there.”

“That’s a really cool story,” I responded, “And it gives you that physical connection to your memories. I…” I trailed off for a moment, taking a deep breath as I forced the emotions down until the words came out. “I have a few of Megan’s things. I keep them for the same reason.” The watch I was wearing was one of them; a simple $20 Timex that turned out to be the last gift she ever gave me. It never left my wrist.

The sensation of Holly’s arms wrapping around me was as confusing as it was startling. “I understand,” she replied. “We’ve both lost something we can’t really get back. We’re gonna carry that weight.” With that she let go; a sad smile tightening her lips.

“I’m not sure I understand?” I responded, not trying to conceal the confusion in my voice.

“It’s from that show we watched, Cowboy Bebop,” she answered. “It might have to be during the summer, but I’d like to finish watching it with you. It’ll make more sense.” The sad smile returned as she looked up. I followed her gaze to the clock.

“Time for you to go to fourth period?” As if to punctuate my words the bell that signaled the passing period rang; a soulless electronic bong that would likely stay burrowed in our memories for years to come.

“Yeah,” she answered as she gathered her things. “Thank you for talking with me today. It helped. Let’s try to do this a couple more times before school ends?” With that she slipped out into the noisy, chaotic halls and I was once again left with my thoughts.

I returned to the assortment of laptops and digital cameras; noting the condition of each unit before putting them in stacks that I would have to go through more thoroughly later. One of the cameras had a label that caught my eye:

District Asset: HHSDC026

Barcode: 117632704

Date Checked: 12/14/00

Date Due: 01/11/01

Due Date Extension:

Checked To: Sorenson, Matthew

Notes: Found overdue 04/23/01. Two CF cards collected w/camera. Return add’l card to correct camera. Late fine assessed $50.00 PAID 05/07/01 Return to EOY inventory -JRC-

The handwriting was Mrs. Callaway’s. Fifty bucks was a very steep fine, but not out of the question for a thousand dollar camera that had gone missing until nearly the end of the year. I set the camera aside; knowing Mr. Tindal’s workload I would probably be the one to inspect, wipe, and get the camera ready for the next school year.

That thought sparked the conscious realization that I wouldn’t be here next year; more thoughts flooding my mind as I finished my work and prepared to leave. I didn’t really feel like pushing my luck and running into Matt at the end of the day, so leaving early was a good idea.